Original subtitles

www.titlovi.com

Here he comes now!

This one?

Yes.

That's solid silver.

I know all about it. What do you want for it?

I'll take its weight and a dollar more.

Weigh it up.

$14.60 plus a dollar is $15.60.

That includes the case?

I'll have to charge you two bits more for that.

One bit is plenty.

All right, I won't bargain with you.

Now give me the address of the man who hocked it.

Is he a friend of yours?

Yes, only he's dead now.

It's so good to see you, Eben. So good.

Now that it's all over.

I'm sorry I couldn't be there.

By the time I heard about it, it was too late.

It doesn't matter. There was nobody there but the children and me.

You'd think the Medical Society could have...

They probably didn't know about it.

Anyway, none of that matters now.

While he was still alive

we hoped he'd get justice, I mean, for his sake.

You know how we felt about him.

Now it's only a question of how long it will take the world

to accord him the honor he deserved during his life.

He ought to have a monument in every city and a park called after him

and a Morton Boulevard and...

That might be a little too much, Eben.

Maybe one hospital someday.

One hospital! Every hospital ought to be called after him.

This is what I came to bring you.

Eben, how very kind of you.

This was the last one.

He hated to part with it.

"To the benefactor of mankind"

"with the gratitude of humanity."

I'm sorry I stirred everything up.

I was just thinking how happy we were.

It was the only time he was really happy in his life.

We thought he was all through worrying about things.

He was happy with the farm.

You know he won all the prizes one year?

Best-kept farm, most improvements, best sow.

$3 for his admirable geese.

Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!

Daddy!

Whoah! Daddy!

Huh?

Daddy!

Letter.

I wonder what this is?

I carried it all the way and then I tripped and...

I got it.

Washington, D.C.

That's where the President lives.

Washington crossed the Delaware.

What is it, William?

Listen to this, Lizzie.

Dr. Warren and the staff of the Massachusetts General

addressed a memorial to Congress.

Daniel Webster supported it

and now they're going to vote me a $100,000 award.

How wonderful, William. At last.

I'll have to go to Washington right away.

How are you going to do it?

Borrow on the place, I guess.

I did so want to hold on to this

for the children's sake. They're so helpless.

But, Lizzie, you don't seem to understand.

It's already passed Congress and only has to be ratified by the Senate.

The money's as good as in the bank

and all our years of worry are behind us.

Everything I've ever promised you will be yours with interest

and love and gratitude for the patience you've displayed.

This is a memorial to the President, signed by 20 United States...

It must be delivered to him before he signs what he's about to sign.

Will you come in, please?

Do you say "Mr. Pierce" or "Mr. President Pierce?"

Just "Mr. President."

This bill has passed both Houses.

It requires only your signature.

This man has been waiting for years.

I can't sign this yet.

Now, don't look as if you'd lost your last friend, gentlemen.

As a man, I'm entirely for you.

As a lawyer, I must grant your opponents some merit.

As the President, I'm forced to lean over backwards.

However he may feel personally,

the President of the United States

must always conduct himself like Cautious Charlie.

That's his mission. For that he was elected.

Now, I'm going to sign this amendment, of course,

but first I want you to do one thing.

I want you to bring a little suit

against some army or navy surgeon

for invading your patent.

He's bound to lose, that will establish a precedent

and these gentlemen will have to quit hollering.

But, Mr. President...

I won't wish you luck. You won't need it.

You're a fine man, Doctor.

Believe me, I'd rather be you than President any day.

Well, thank you, Mr. President.

All right, Mr. President, I'll do it.

But I hate to have it look as if I were trying

to make the government pay

to relieve wounded soldiers from pain.

The government pays for the guns, don't it, huh?

Well, good day, good day.

Shame that the citizens of Boston

watch the progress of this trial.

Vilified by every newspaper in this country and abroad,

expelled from the American Medical Association,

disowned by his fellow dentists,

burned in effigy by his fellow townsmen,

this avaricious little dentist,

this money-grubbing little opportunist

walks in shame, alone, unhailed.

Period.

Whatever the results of this trial,

and we pray that Morton will lose, hands down,

let this be a lesson to the...

How's this, sir?

Not bad.

I think I'd make the fingers a little longer,

more claw-like, more vulturesque.

Yes, Mr. Greeley.

Now where was I? Oh, yes.

Let this be a lesson to the future Shylocks

who attempt to prey upon the misery of man.

A discovery is not patentable.

A discovery is not patentable.

It is only where the explorer has gone

beyond the domain of mere discovery

and has laid hold of the new principle

and connected it with some mechanical contrivance

by which it acts on the material world

that he can secure exclusive control of it under the patent law.

The patent is invalid, but its discoverer is entitled to be classed...

You're no good!

You never was and you never will be!

Among the greatest benefactors of mankind.

How do you do?

Is this the same as bought by the government?

Yes, sir, it's the same that we sell

to the government, guaranteed in every respect.

Is this the same as Dr. Morton's?

Well, this is an ether inhaler, guaranteed to work perfect.

Whether it's the same as Dr. what's-his-name's, I wouldn't know...

Well, I would, because I happen to be Dr. what's-his-name

and I happen to have invented these!

So you invented bottles, huh?

People have been using them for a long time.

They'll be very glad to know that you've invented them at last,

and maybe you invented the wheel, too, and the needle and thread...

You know what I'm talking about!

What's this hole for?

To stick flowers in. Look, I sell bottles.

People can keep schnapps in them or maple syrup

or anything they want to for all I care.

Well, you'll care when I get through with you, you dirty swindler!

Now wait a minute...

Trying to rob me, huh?

You invented them, did you?

Now, wait a minute...

Wait, wait, wait!

Help! Stop it! Stop it! Help!

Well, you're going to get it whether you want it or not.

You must rest both for yourself and your family.

I tell you I can't afford it, Doctor.

My practice has all gone to pieces,

I neglected it while it was good

and now my assistants have gone

and taken all the patients with them.

I got so wrapped up in that ether thing.

I'm so mad most of the time.

I mean, all those people

saying I stole their ideas from them.

You know I discovered the use of ether, don't you?

Of course I know it.

That's what killed him, you know, that trip to New York.

It was that last article of Dr. Jackson's calling him a charlatan,

saying he'd stolen his discovery

and bringing back all the misery of 20 years,

reopening the wounds.

We got him into bed,

but in the middle of the night he got up

and started sorting his papers

to prove Jackson was a liar.

On the 15th he seemed better.

It was very hot.

We went for a drive in Central Park.

He insisted on holding the reins himself

even though he said they were very heavy.

Suddenly he pulled up the horses

and got off to the ground and just looked into the darkness.

I said, "What is it, dear?" I said, "William, answer me."

But he just smiled.

As if suddenly he'd understood something, at long last.

Then pitched forward on his face.

The papers spoke of him as the man who claimed

to have discovered the use of ether.

They dug up the whole nasty business.

That Dr. Jackson had told him how to do it.

That he, Jackson, had known about it for years.

Can you imagine anyone keeping a secret like that?

And then they brought in poor Horace Wells' claim that he did it first,

and Dr. Crawford Long's claim that he had done it four years before.

Well, maybe they all did do it first,

maybe they all did discover the use of ether.

I guess they did, all right.

Why should they lie about it?

But it seems so cruel to have let people go on suffering so long

after they knew how to stop it.

All I know is that three months

after my husband discovered anesthesia,

the whole world was using it.

Supper's ready, Mama.

All right, dear. Come along, Eben.

Won't you have still another piece of pie, Eben?

Oh, I...

No, thank you.

You're going to make some man very happy someday.

Thank you, Mr. Frost.

My, how your father loved pie.

I really think that's why he married me.

Oh, Mama.

He ate so much, my mother wanted

to throw him straight out of the house.

Oh, dear, I do declare.

I do declare, Lizzie, I'm going to have to ask

that young Mr. Morton to leave.

He pays his board regularly,

but he's just eating us out of house and home.

Tonight he had three plates of soup

and 12 slices of bread, not that I counted them,

four helpings of roast beef, six potatoes,

almost a whole bunch of sparrowgrass,

a hatful of beans, peas and beets and three wedges of pie.

Now, I can't do that on $3 a week.

Mrs. Bidon charges $4 a week and...

Why, Lizzie.

Honey child.

I had no idea you were fond of him.

You know I don't mean half the things I say.

I wouldn't ask him to leave if he ate twice as much, heaven forbid.

If you didn't want me to.

He's leaving anyway.

Why? Now, don't tell me I indicated

by so much as the slightest look or glance...

He hasn't got any money.

He can't be a medical student anymore.

Oh, the poor lamb.

Well, there are plenty of other businesses.

Maybe he'd do well in the meat business.

He seems to like it.

He's going to be a dentist.

And he seemed such a nice young man.

You may not like the idea,

but you're going to have a dentist in the family just the same.

A dentist?

I'm certainly going to miss you, Miss Lizzie.

I'm certainly going to miss you, Mr. Morton.

It's not going to be very cheerful in Boston.

It's not going to be very cheerful here.

You really mean that, Miss Lizzie?

Mmm-hmm.

Now, don't do that.

I can't help it.

Miss Lizzie, if I thought you'd wait for me, I'd work so hard

that in almost no time at all, I venture to say

I'd be in a position to support a...

Not in luxury maybe,

but to support a family of reasonable size.

Oh, William!

And I know you're going to be rich and famous

and I'm going to be so proud of you, darling.

And Father won't be able to talk against dentists anymore.

And we'll have a big house

and while you're at the office I'll be at home

taking care of my end of things.

Elegant around here, isn't it?

Oh, but this is so beautiful.

Won't you try it?

With pleasure.

Oh, it's deliciously comfortable, William.

One would be reluctant to leave it.

I hope the patients feel that way about it.

Now, just lean back.

Open your mouth. Uh-uh.

Will you open your mouth? Don't be a child.

What are you trying to do, ruin my business?

What are you trying to do, ruin me?

I've bored bigger holes in children

and they smiled while I did it.

They must have been half-wits.

Open your mouth. No!

Open your mouth and keep your trap shut.

Why don't you try and show a little courage? This won't hurt a bit.

If I could lie like you, I'd take up fortunetelling.

Now, open your mouth.

Don't be in a hurry. I'll be with you in just a moment.

Now, you sit down.

I'll be with you in a moment.

All right.

Be a man.

Oh my god! Oh my god!

Now...

Aren't you going to have another piece of pie, dear?

Hmm? Oh, no, thank you, Lizzie.

Are you sick?

What?

What are you frowning about?

The dental profession.

Oh, I'm sorry, dear.

It can't be helped, but they yell so, Lizzie.

It's bloodcurdling. It gets on your nerves.

You can't put in a nice inlay like you did in dental college

with them screaming bloody murder in your face

or trying to bite you.

It's impossible.

Unless you're deaf or a demon or somebody that likes to see people suffer.

Why don't you try stuffing up your ears?

If there could be some way to...

Like your leg goes to sleep sometimes

when you're resting your elbow on it.

Only it must be pretty hard to put your head to sleep.

There ought to be a way to desensitize a nerve.

Say, didn't Dr. Jackson say something about that

one night after supper?

I don't remember, dear.

Somebody had the toothache and...

Oh, yes, it was Horace Wells. His face was all...

That's right. And Jackson said the only way to desensitize a nerve was...

What?

I don't remember.

Some kind of drops or something

and it was supposed to help some.

Why don't you go and ask him?

Because I despise him so, the sarcastic old blowhard.

It would be better than hearing people yell.

I don't think it worked, anyhow.

I remember Horace said...

Yes, but you're not sure.

You might try to find something for that, too.

Is Professor Jackson in?

Sorry, sir, he's not at home.

Thanks.

But you might try Costello's, sir.

Oh. Thanks.

Good evening, Professor Jackson. How...

Why don't you look what you're doing?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Say, do you remember what you used on Horace Wells

the night he had the toothache?

Do I know you?

Yes. W.T.G. Morton.

I was a student of yours at Harvard Medical.

His face was swollen out and you said...

Oh, yes, Morton, of course.

As I remember, you were a rather dull student.

You didn't keep us in stitches, either.

I suppose now you are a successful physician?

No, I didn't finish. I didn't have enough money.

Well, you shouldn't have gone in for medicine in the first place.

One of the cankers of our profession

is the number of youths without funds

or proper background who try to worm their way into it

for the rich rewards they imagine it holds.

Thanks. I'm glad to see the years haven't changed you.

How are you getting along?

Pretty well.

Rum punch. BARTENDER: Yes, sir.

It could be a lot better,

if there were only some way to deaden the pain a little.

They get in your chair and they start to yell,

and the first thing you know...

You say your chair? Are you a barber now?

No, no, a dentist. Oh.

You say your patients yell?

They certainly do.

Well, the remedy for that is very simple.

It's been known since the 15th century.

They still do it at county fairs.

You merely provide a small orchestra

and when your patient screeches,

you outscreech him.

I suppose you think that's very funny.

I see your sense of humor hasn't improved.

Neither have your jokes.

I thought that was pretty good.

Ah, well. Have you tried oil of cloves?

I've tried oil of cloves, I've tried camphor, I've tried peppermint,

I've tried whiskey, I've tried brandy, I've tried gin.

None of those are any good.

There's only one way to desensitize a nerve, that's to freeze it.

You might fill your patient full of ice. What with?

How do I know? A funnel.

I thought you were serious.

Well, of course there is another way of producing cold,

that's by evaporation.

You might try something with a low boiling point.

But I didn't come here to deliver a lecture on chemistry.

Bartender, give me a drink.

Let me buy you one.

Well, unaccustomed as I am to imbibing with dentists...

What has a low boiling point?

One of the ethers, I suppose.

You might get yourself some ethyl chloride drops.

That's all the shop I want to talk.

I think that's it.

What's ethyl chloride?

What's ethyl chloride?

He goes to school with me for years

and now he doesn't know what ethyl chloride is.

Morton, you are the living proof

that plowboys belong behind the horse.

Well, what is it?

What's what?

Ethyl chloride.

C2 H5 CL.

Known to corn doctors as chloric ether.

Where can I get some?

Well, you might try a feed store,

and if you can't get it there,

then you might try Burnett's Pharmacy.

My pupil.

Here's to you, Professor.

The same to you, Doctor.

My pupil.

Oh, my! That's it. Put it in. Hold it.

Yes?

I want to get some ether, please.

Do you have to have it tonight?

I'd like to.

Oh, well. Hold it there, Charlie.

Do you want chloric or sulfuric? What?

C2 H5 CL or C2 H5 OC2 H5? Now, just a minute.

Do you want it for corns or asthma?

Why don't you come in in the morning?

Give me a bottle of each. An ounce?

A pint. A pint?

Hold it, Charlie.

Hello, Nig.

Is that you, William?

Yes, dear. I'll be up in a little while.

All right, dear.

William?

William?

William!

Oh, you're drunk.

You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

What the matter with you, Lizzie?

I had two drinks.

Two small drinks, no more, no less...

You won't make it any better by lying about it.

You reek of cheap liquor.

Now get up. I'll help you.

Who asked for any help?

What's the matter with you, Lizzie, you crazy?

Get up.

Why should I get up?

I'm not down anyplace.

Then what are you doing on the floor?

Who's on a floor? Where's a floor?

Get up. That's funny.

Lizzie, I tell you I've not been drinking.

I had two small drinks.

Why should I lie to you?

If I'd had three drinks or four drinks or even five drinks,

I'd just as soon...

I don't know, but I tell you I was not drunk.

Tell me something.

Was I drunk when I came in here last night?

You're the young man who wanted the ether.

That's right. Would you say that I was drunk at the time?

Not particularly. What do you mean "not particularly"?

I had two drinks, two with Professor Jackson down at Costello's.

I came in here cold sober, went straight home,

and at midnight my wife found me rolling around on the floor.

Well, your liver must be torpid.

You see, the poisons are normally dissipated through the liver,

but when this organ becomes congested...

Now I have here...

Yes, well, I happen to have been a medical student myself

and right now I'm a practicing dental surgeon.

My liver works like a buttered eagle,

and if anybody was drunk in here last night, it wasn't me.

Now, there are two things possible.

Either I had a stroke, which I don't appear to have had,

or somehow that bottle of ether

that I found empty this morning...

Which one was it?

The sulfuric, I think.

Well, there's your answer.

You don't have to go any further.

The fumes of sulfuric ether are extremely noxious.

We have to keep it tightly sealed,

and I'm always telling my assistant.

If I've told him once I've told him a thousand times,

I've said, "Charlie..." Well, that solves that mystery,

although I don't suppose my wife will ever believe it.

Thanks. Do you want another bottle?

I should say not.

Wait a minute.

Give me another bottle of it.

Yes, sir.

Well, at last.

Why, Horace Wells. How are you?

What are you doing in Boston?

I just got in from Hartford.

Come in.

I have something very interesting to tell you.

What is it?

You remember when we were students,

we used to try to figure how to pull a tooth without pain?

I'm still trying. I just got a bottle down...

Forget it. That's what I came to tell you about.

I've made the most important discovery in the world.

Fine. I can extract teeth

or fill them or do anything I like with them without any pain whatsoever.

No.

Absolutely. That's what I'm here for.

I'm giving a demonstration at Harvard Medical at 10:30.

I want you to lend me a key and act as my assistant.

That's wonderful. Well, how do you do it, or is that your secret?

I wish it were my secret,

but the stuff is so well-known

you can't stop them from recognizing it.

I'll just have to be the father of painless dentistry

and let it go at that.

What is it?

Nitrous oxide, laughing gas.

Laughing gas?

You mean like they use at the county fairs?

I do. For the entertainment of the yokels.

For heaven's sake.

That's where I got the idea.

I saw this lout leaping around

and making a fool of himself and laughing his head off,

and all the time he had a gash that long in his shin

he'd got falling off the platform.

He never even knew it. He hadn't felt it.

That's very interesting.

But how can you work on them when they're laughing?

But they're not laughing.

I give them a little more and they fall asleep.

But they must be half-asphyxiated.

That can't be very healthy.

I had an experience just last night...

Naturally, you have to be careful.

How many times have you done it?

Four times.

You're not ready for any demonstration at Harvard Medical.

What if it didn't work? It has to work.

I'm not going to stand around and wait till somebody else does this first.

If you don't want to help me, I'll borrow a key from someone else.

I'll help you on one condition.

We go by Dr. Jackson's first and he says it isn't dangerous.

What's that old moss-head know about it?

He doesn't know anymore about it than I do.

Poppycock! What do you mean, "poppycock"?

I tell you I've done it.

And I tell you that you're endangering the lives

of the fools who trust you.

Certainly you can render a man unconscious

by asphyxiating him or drowning him

or hitting him on the head with a dornick!

That's no discovery.

Henry Hill Hickman went all through that. Priestley found laughing gas

and Humphry Davy tried all that stuff 50 years ago.

Faraday experimented with every type of inhalant

he could lay his hands on.

In the end, all these men abandoned the idea.

Do you expect to succeed

where the greatest scientists in the world have failed?

Discoveries are still being made, aren't they?

They're not being made by any half-educated schoolboys.

You'd better give up this nonsense before you kill somebody!

And that goes for you, too, Morton!

Go back to your tooth-yanking,

and leave science to the scientists!

Thanks.

Nevertheless, at 10:30 this morning at Harvard Medical School,

I will pull a tooth totally without pain

by the use of the Wells Method.

"The Wells Method." The half-asphyxiated method!

And now, young gentlemen,

we are to assist at a very interesting experiment.

Dr. Horace Wells of Hartford, Connecticut

and his assistant are about to demonstrate

the Wells Method of painless extraction

on your fellow student, Homer Quinby,

who has volunteered to be the subject.

Are we nearly ready?

Yes, sir. That'll be enough.

Then if you'll kindly step up here, Homer.

Yes, sir, Dr. Warren.

Don't let them give you too much of it.

No, sir, Professor Jackson.

Sit right here, Homer.

Now this isn't going to hurt you a bit, Homer.

You just sit back and...

Now, don't you give me too much of that stuff.

Don't you worry about that.

Now I think we're just about ready.

Now, open your mouth, please.

Now breathe deeply.

Keep on breathing, Homer.

Keep on breathing.

Again.

Once more.

It's all very funny, but they're apt to kill him!

Now behave yourself, Homer.

Homer, behave yourself!

Now, open your mouth and breathe deeply.

What are you trying to do, kill that boy?

I know what I'm doing!

Maybe he's had enough, Doctor?

Yes.

Well... All right.

Hold his head, please.

Homer!

Faker!

Quiet, please! Quiet!

Stop that! Gentlemen!

Any man who goes by me will be expelled immediately!

I know every one of you!

That's because he didn't get enough of it!

I wanted to give him more until that old mealy-mouth...

I tell you this is the greatest discovery in the world.

I'm the father of painless dentistry.

I can extract teeth or pull them or do anything I want...

Take it easy, take it easy.

It may be all you say, but you've still got to experiment.

You've got to try it out little by little.

You've got to creep before you can walk.

I tell you I've done it four times without a failure.

All right, I'll mix up some of the stuff.

Go get me a cat or a dog or a horse or a lion and I'll show you.

I'll get you a rabbit.

You'll learn something.

I'll be very glad to, Horace, believe me.

Is anybody in?

I'm in terrible pain, dearie.

Some faker broke my tooth and then couldn't yank it.

Could you do anything for me, dearie?

Come in.

I suppose it'll hurt something terrible.

It isn't going to hurt a bit.

Come in.

There you are. No pain whatsoever.

The tooth's gone. She didn't move a muscle.

You shouldn't have done that, Horace.

What are you talking about?

This is the greatest discovery...

She's a mighty funny color.

That doesn't mean anything.

They turn all kind of colors. She'll be all right.

I tell you this is the greatest...

How long has this woman been unconscious?

I don't know. I didn't notice the time.

She'll be all right... Shut up!

Get a doctor, quick.

There's one at the end of the hall.

Get some smelling salts and some brandy and hurry up about it!

She's dead or so close to it.

Come on, old girl.

Give me the three drops of strychnine.

Yes, Doctor.

Be careful, you dumb dentist!

The salts again.

Yes, Doctor.

How is she?

I don't know yet.

If she lives,

I'll never experiment with human life again,

so help me, God.

If she doesn't live...

You won't have the chance to!

I'll put you both in prison.

The idea of a couple of half-baked dentists endangering...

Just a minute!

That's wonderful, dearie.

I never felt a thing.

Didn't take a second, did it?

Hello, Nig.

Nitrous oxide...

Hello, Nig, old man.

Come here, Nig, old man.

Come here, Nig, old boy.

Come on, old boy.

We're not afraid of a little experiment.

Come here, Nig.

Come here, Nig, old boy. Come here.

Come here, Nig, old boy. Come on.

Come here, Nig. Here, Nig.

Come on, old boy. Come on, Nig, old boy.

I'm not going to hurt you, old man.

Come on, Nig, old man.

I'm not going to hurt you.

Come on, Nig. Come on, old boy.

That's a good old man.

Come on, Nig. I won't hurt you.

There you are.

All right, old man.

Come on, Nig, old boy. Come on.

Nig!

Come on, boy.

William!

Drunk again, I suppose.

Who's drunk? Lizzie, for heaven's sake, what's the matter with you?

What's the matter with you would be more to the point.

You stay away from dinner. You don't even send word.

It was the baby's birthday and you didn't even remember,

and now, in the middle of the night, I find you groveling...

I've had enough irritations today

without standing any more from you

when I come home tired and weary.

I just want to catch that blasted dog.

What are you doing to that dog?

What have you got on that handkerchief?

I'll protect you, Nig!

William Thomas Green Morton,

if you harm a hair of this dog's head! This is my dog, you know,

I'll go straight home to Mother!

Is that a promise?

You brute!

Talking that way to the mother of your children!

You may regret this night, William Thomas Green Morton!

He can't talk that way to us, Nig.

Talking that way to the mother of his children.

I'll protect you.

I'll protect you. We'll go home to Mother.

We'll take the babies and we'll take you,

and we'll take the furniture.

Because after all, Daddy gave it to me, anyway.

William?

William!

All I can say is...

William.

Never felt it.

Went through by itself, when I was asleep.

Take a good look at that, Lizzie.

That's the first painless...

The first absolutely painless...

William. Darling.

How's that?

Fine, but underline that word "Double."

All right, Doctor.

Good.

You didn't go to Burnett's?

No, I went to Brewer, Stevens and Cushing, on Washington Street.

You didn't mention my name? No, dear.

What's that?

The new sign,

"Completely painless extractions or double your money back."

Let me do it.

We'll keep buying it at different places, until I get my patent.

It's bound to cause a lot of talk, Lizzie.

Every dentist in town will try to find out what I'm using.

What're you going tell them when they ask you?

I figured out a pretty good name.

Did you ever hear of the river Lethe in mythology?

I never even heard of mythology.

It was the stream of oblivion

that banished all earthly sorrows.

Letheon!

But are you sure it will work, William?

Why, of course it'll work, Lizzie.

I've tried it on myself I don't know how many times,

and on the goldfish and on a cat and on another cat.

But not on Nig.

Not on Nig. But if I could have caught him...

Then we'll really be rich.

How can we help it, Lizzie?

I've got the dental business right by the nose.

I've applied for a patent.

Either they get their license from me or they go out of business.

I can do things in dentistry that have never been done before.

For instance, the lute.

Now, there's a way of crowning teeth

with a lute, that's wonderful,

but it's so painful, nobody's ever been able to stand it.

All right, I can use the lute.

And consider impactions, the horror of the business...

William. Huh?

Oh.

Come right in, sir.

You guarantee twice the money back if I feel anything?

I do, sir. Step right in.

I'll take $10 of that bet.

You'll never regret it.

Have a seat.

What's that stink?

That is the Letheon, my friend.

That is what Kills the pain.

I don't like the smell of it.

Nevertheless, you'll be grateful for it.

Now the hat, and if you don't mind...

Look out, that's a very delicate violin.

I'll take the best care of it.

Double my money back if I feel anything?

Guaranteed. Now the towel.

And now let's have a look at the tooth, please.

Ah.

That's it.

In a few moments, it'll be just a memory.

Double my money back if I feel it?

Double your money back if you feel anything.

Now, if you'll just put this end in your mouth,

and inhale deeply for a few moments.

What happens then?

You will then sink into a gentle slumber,

a sort of cat nap, from which you will awake without pain,

and without the tooth.

On the level? On the level.

It's a little invention of my own.

Now, if you'll hold that, please.

Put that end into your mouth and inhale deeply.

No, no, not at me.

Just suck it in. Now.

Now again.

Now, don't you begin to feel a little bit drowsy?

No.

Well, then again.

Double my money back?

Double your money back.

Now, don't you begin to feel a little...

Here they come, boys! Here they come!

They're coming in the window!

Stop that!

Ready! Aim! Fire!

Avast!

You would, would you?

Charge! Charge!

Come on, boys, follow me!

Give me liberty!

Follow me! Follow me!

Here, you are! Here, you are!

Ah, so there you are, General!

I've been looking for you all over the battlefield.

Well, you won't have to look any further.

You've found me. Come on.

Do you think maybe he was crazy?

He didn't seem crazy when he came in.

Maybe it affects people in different ways.

You're sure you got ether, sulfuric ether?

Of course I did, dear. Here's the bill.

Yes, well, if you're all through...

When you told me to try ether the other night,

I got a bottle of sulfuric ether...

I told you to try chloric ether.

Haven't you any memory at all?

You go fooling around with sulfuric ether

and you'll blow your head off.

Well, I can put myself to sleep with it.

What for? How did you do it?

By inhaling it.

I wanted to see if I could extract teeth with it.

I was sure I could. I'm still sure I can.

I know it's just around the corner, but I'm stuck.

Something went wrong.

I want you to help me out and I'll pay you for your help.

My regular fee is $500.

I haven't got $500, but I'll tell you what I'm prepared to do.

Here's a 10% interest in my patent, if it's worth anything.

What are you patenting?

The use of Letheon.

Well, that's what I'm calling it

so that people won't find out the secret.

"I hereby assign to Dr. Charles T. Jackson,"

"one-tenth of my interest in this discovery"

"for his assistance in its perfection."

If I make $500 on this, I'll die of a syncope.

Now, what is this deep problem, Professor?

Well, the ether's been working perfectly ever since I started,

then this morning I gave some to a patient and he jumped out the window.

There goes my $500!

Have you a sample of your ether?

Yes, sir.

Where did you get this?

Brewer, Stevens and Cushing, on Washington Street.

The trouble with you is you can't remember anything.

I told you to go to Burnett's.

That's the only place in town where you can get highly-rectified ether.

Highly-rectified. Paste that in your hat.

This is cleaning fluid.

You mean that was the trouble?

That was the problem, Professor.

Thank you, Doctor.

You'll be a rich man for this.

You wouldn't care to settle for $50 cash, would you?

Thank you just the same, Doctor.

Are you sure you got the right one this time?

I'm as sure, Lizzie, as anyone can be sure of anything.

Hey.

Well, well, I'm glad to see you.

And I'm not glad to see you.

I'll have my coat and fiddle please, and no horsing around.

Won't you let me explain?

I'll have no explanations, thank you.

Just give me my instrument.

Won't you let me have it repaired for you?

What are you talking about?

Come in and let's talk it over.

I will not. You know where I've been for the last eight hours?

In the jug, charged with drunkenness.

Me, who has never touched anything stronger than sarsaparilla.

Now, get me my fiddle and don't try any pranks.

How's your tooth? I'll take care of that.

Will you listen to me, please?

No!

All right. There's your fiddle.

What did you do to that violin?

I'm gonna have you arrested and put...

You keep it away from me now.

I'm going to have you put in jail...

No, no, no. You keep away from me now.

I just want you to smell it to convince you.

I gave you the wrong mixture this morning.

Well, try it on somebody else.

I don't want to try it on you.

I just want you to smell it, to be sure it isn't the same.

You remember what it smelled like this morning?

I'll remember it till the day I die.

Did it smell anything like that?

Exactly.

Well, it must be drying off.

Actually there's no similarity at all. Smell it now.

It smells the same to me.

How can you say it smells the same?

Don't you notice the faint odor of peaches?

Peaches? Yes, peaches. Can't you smell that?

Peaches? What're you doing? I'm sorry.

Look, how dare you? I got it all over you.

Peaches! Where do you get the smell of peaches?

It'll evaporate in no time.

Peaches?

Peaches? I don't notice any peaches.

Smells more like...

Like...

Why don't you sit down?

Don't you start anything now.

No, no, no. There.

Don't you start anything now.

You're the most suspicious man I ever saw.

If you think I care anything about your tooth, you're crazy.

All I want to know is, does this smell like peaches or pears?

Now, give me your answer like a man.

Pears.

No... Peaches.

There you are.

There you are.

As easy as falling off the roof.

I could have sawed his leg off without his feeling it.

Lizzie.

What is it, dear?

If I could make this sleep last,

say, 10 or 15 minutes longer...

Oh, no, that's too much to hope for.

No, it isn't.

I tell you I can do it.

You mean fill teeth?

Nothing to do with teeth.

I got it. Persimmons.

Hey!

I can. I'm sure I can.

Tell the Doctor to hurry and dress for dinner, Roberts. He's late.

The Doctor sends all his apologies, madam, and to the guests,

but regrets that he will not be home for dinner.

But he just came in.

He sent word, madam, through the coachman.

Thank you, Roberts.

Very good, madam.

How do you feel now?

I feel terrible.

And you know something else?

You know how long you were under this time?

I really don't care.

Nineteen minutes. And I jabbed you every 15 seconds with this.

Ouch! I'm getting to feel like a pincushion.

Come on, we'll go right down and see him now.

We'll get a bite to eat on the way.

Here you are.

So there you are! You've been dodging me as long as you're going to.

You and your new discoveries.

Who are you? Go down and get me a cab.

I'll join you in a moment. Now what is it?

You swindled me.

I'd be a little more careful of my verbs, if I were you, Professor...

I'll use any verbs I like, and that goes for adverbs and adjectives.

You swan-dangled me into accepting 10% of this Letheon,

or whatever you call it...

You wanted $500. You're going to get much more.

What are you complaining about?

You didn't reveal its possibilities to me.

You pretended to be a poor little dentist trying to get along

and when I suggested ether...

You suggested chloric ether drops. That didn't work.

Maybe I did, but that's what gave you the idea.

Did it give you the idea?

I've known all about sulfuric ether for years,

and why you should come along and profit by my discovery...

The only trouble with you, Professor,

is that you're a little bit cracked in the head.

You did not discover ether narcosis. I did.

Now, is there anything else?

I'll have 25% of that patent I signed, or by Joseph...

Well, you'd better take it up with Joseph.

Because as far as I'm concerned,

you're already getting more than you deserve.

I could have gone to any chemist in the city,

to find out what I wanted to know.

It happened I came to you.

That is your ultimatum?

If that means what I think it means, it is.

Very well, sir. Yes, sir.

We'll see. We certainly shall.

You know, this could go on all night.

I'm going down to the Massachusetts General

to ask Professor Warren to try the Letheon.

Do you want to come along?

You mean in a surgical case?

Don't you know the difference between

a serious operation and yanking a tooth?

You'll kill somebody yet with this murderous nonsense of yours,

as sure as my name is Jackson.

Then I take it you don't want to come along.

Come along? If you even mention my name

to Professor Warren as co-discoverer...

Well, make up your mind.

Are you in or out or on the fence?

You'll find out, young man! All right.

You'll see!

All right, I'll see.

Yes, yes, yes, but Professor Warren

is performing an emergency operation.

Then I'll wait.

You don't seem to understand that after an operation,

a surgeon is completely enervated, exhausted.

All the more reason.

My dear Dr. Martin... Morton.

Morton. As Professor Warren's assistant,

part of my duty is to shield him to the best of my ability,

from the many well-meaning, well, I won't say cranks,

but let me say, amateur inventors

who come here every day with every kind of gewgaw and gimcrack

for every purpose imaginable.

Now only yesterday... But you don't understand.

My methods are being used by all my assistants

on hundreds of people all day long.

In dentistry, my dear sir,

but what has dentistry to do with medicine?

But here is the living proof.

It was the night of September 30th.

I was in excruciating pain...

I know, you told me all about that when you first came in.

Now, if you will be so good as to write to Professor Warren,

you will very probably receive an answer.

Thank you. You're entirely welcome.

I was in excruciating pain...

Very interesting. Very, very interesting. Yes.

Not that one, the big one.

Pad.

There. How do you feel, old man?

I... I...

Now this part's the bad part.

I'll do it as fast as I can.

Wedge. Try biting on this.

It helps a little sometimes.

Now!

Will you finish up for me, Doctor?

Certainly, Professor Warren.

Behave now, will you?

This is no time to act like a woman.

What's all this?

I guess it was the sound of the...

Oh, Professor Warren.

Stretch him out. Let the blood get to his head.

Oh, I'm so sorry, Professor Warren.

I tried to keep these people away from you,

but now, they seem to have attracted your attention by...

Go get some smelling salts. I beg your pardon?

Smelling salts. Ammonium carbonate.

Professor Warren,

I've been waiting to see you.

If you'll listen to me, never again will you have to go through

what you've just gone through in there.

As God is my judge,

I swear by all that's holy, you can operate without pain.

I do it every day.

For any length of time you want.

Why, only tonight, I had this man out for 19 minutes.

He's still out. Yes, but that was...

What's your name?

W. T. G. Morton, the dentist.

Oh, yes. Didn't you take part in that fiasco

at the Harvard Medical School?

I did.

Are you proposing I use that same remedy?

What I'm proposing is something entirely different.

It's been thoroughly tried out, tested and proved.

It cannot fail and it will not fail.

I'm sorry, it took a moment.

They were using it on the patient.

Hold his head up.

Be here Friday morning at 10:00 and bring your bag of tricks.

You mean you'll try it?

I'll try it on my first operation.

I don't know how to thank you, Professor Warren.

You don't have to thank me, because I don't think it's going to work.

But someday, somebody's going to find something.

That must come.

Now, sit him up.

That's better, old man.

And when that somebody comes along,

I want to be there to open the door for him.

It was the night of September 30th.

I was in excruciating pain...

So were a lot of other people.

Everybody kept asking where you were,

and Mrs. Burroughs leaned over and said,

"I know exactly how it feels, dear."

And, of course, everybody knows that her husband

is the biggest soak in Boston.

I never had such an evening.

And, of course, I couldn't understand a word the Consul said,

and the Mayor's wife kept looking at the silver

as if she thought it was stolen.

And then, the sherbet came in ahead of the fish.

That must have been terrible.

And for the finale, you really came in

looking as if you'd been rolling in the gutter.

Well, I guess it was kind of dusty at the hospital.

They're going to try it out on Friday morning at 10:00.

Try out what?

Oh. I'm sorry, dear.

Just think, Lizzie, it won't hurt anymore.

Surgeons will be able to take their time.

They'll be able to do things that have been impossible up to now.

And people will choose operations willingly,

instead of waiting till it's too late.

But suppose it doesn't work, William,

and people hear about it, won't it hurt your business?

It will work.

Anyway, that's the risk you have to take.

But why? Why must you take that risk?

You've made a wonderful success.

You've helped so many people already, why endanger that?

Did you ever see an amputation?

Something special today?

The old man's going to try another painless operation.

Give you 2-to-1 for four bits.

I'll give you 3-to-1.

Who asked you to horn in?

I'll give you 10-to-1.

Who said that?

I did and I'll take all you've got.

What do you know?

Hurry up, will you!

You promised it at 8:00 and it's 9:10.

Hold your horses, will you. It's only 9:09.

Fill that half full of Letheon

and I'll meet you in a minute.

And a quart bottle of it.

Oh, Dr. Morton, just a moment, please.

Not now. I'm just going to tell...

This is a matter of the greatest importance.

What is it? What is it?

About those lutes, do I crimp the crown a little first

or bind it entirely with the lute?

Dr. Morton, about those additional offices...

Don't bother me with things like that, will you?

I've got something else on my mind.

What did he say? He didn't.

Everything ready?

We've got exactly 30 minutes.

Thirty-one.

The inhaler's in here? Half full.

Is it tightly stoppered?

Because if it should happen...

Certainly it is.

I'd better take a look at it myself.

I tell you it's...

Beautiful. Now you can wrap it up again.

What is it now?

Dr. Morton, there's a Dr. Horace Wells to see you.

He said he was...

Yes, I wrote to him. But not now.

Tell him... Tell him anything you like.

Yes, sir. I'm very sorry, Doctor Well...

Oh, hello, Horace. I'm glad to see you.

I wrote to you because I wanted you to do some field work for me.

I think you can make yourself a lot of money.

Can you come back and see me tomorrow morning?

I was here yesterday. Oh, you were?

I'm sorry, but I've been so terribly busy.

I came as a patient.

I said I wanted some work done

and I asked them to give me "The Morton Method."

Well, what about it?

You stole it from me lock, stock and barrel!

You're just using it differently!

Don't talk like a child, Horace.

I'm using something entirely different.

I'm sorry you feel this way.

You'll be sorrier still.

I'll never be sorrier than I am at this moment, Horace.

All right, let's get out of here.

Why, you dumb...

Look out.

It can't be helped now.

We'll use one of the regular ones.

We've still got 27 minutes left.

Twenty-eight.

You understand the risks involved in this experiment, Mr. Abbott?

And you give your full consent?

I do.

Thank you.

Good morning, gentlemen.

The patient is ready, Professor Warren.

He fully consents to the new experiment.

Is Dr. Morton here?

He doesn't seem to be, does he?

Well, we'll give him a couple of minutes.

Count the instruments.

I beg your pardon?

I said count the instruments.

Personally, I'm just as glad.

I don't care to see medicine invaded by dental practice.

I echo your sentiments with enthusiasm, Doctor.

There are 117 instruments, Professor Warren,

the same amount we brought in.

Strap the patient down.

We were gathered here today,

you to witness, I to perform, an experiment,

in which I had, if not confidence, at least a grain of hope.

We were to try a method advocated

by a young dentist of this city,

Dr. Morton.

It seems that Dr. Morton is otherwise engaged.

Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!

Come on, hurry up there.

It's just one minute past.

No, it isn't, it's only...

Don't say it or I'll strangle you!

Quiet! Silence!

This is not a minstrelsy, gentlemen.

I doubt that the patient is enjoying your laughter.

I'll work as fast as I can, Mr. Abbott.

The less you move or jerk or scream,

the better it will be for us both.

I'm going to hurt you considerably.

If I can offer any consolation,

it is that pain carries no memory.

You will forget it.

Hurry up!

Hold his head, John.

Thank you. All right, John.

Yes, sir.

Wait.

This operation seems to be accompanied

by an unusual amount of levity.

Not that I exactly blame you.

No more, gentlemen, please!

Well, sir, your patient is ready.

Thank you, sir. So am I.

Don't be afraid.

You don't have a thing to worry about.

It was the night of September 30th.

I was in excruciating pain...

But agonizing...

I ain't afraid.

Just breathe in deeply.

That's right. Keep on breathing.

Time.

Dr. Warren, your patient is ready.

Thank you.

Will he feel this?

He won't feel anything.

Shall we hold his head?

That will not be necessary.

The Velpeau. Thank you.

Pinch it. Another sponge.

Now the next one.

Can you hear me, Abbott?

Yes, sir.

Did you feel any pain?

I said, did you feel any pain?

When?

"When?"

Gentlemen,

this is no humbug!

Very pretty.

Very pretty indeed, Doctor,

but I think that Professor Warren has forgotten

a little rule of the Medical Society.

Of course.

That we shall see him about and remind him of.

I'm proud of you too, William,

more than you will ever know.

And if I haven't always appreciated

exactly what you've been doing,

it's only because I didn't understand.

I hope you'll forgive me.

Oh, but there's nothing to forgive, Lizzie.

I'm the one who needs forgiveness.

It can't have been much fun

to have a husband who always reeks of chemicals,

who works all night and never comes home,

forgets dinner parties and birthdays,

and everything else a husband ought to remember.

As if any of that mattered.

Thank you, Lizzie. Anyway, it's all over now.

They've got their painless operations and I can get back to work.

And the first thing you need is a good night's sleep.

I think that's a very noble thought.

What does it matter so long as it works?

It matters very much indeed. Enormously.

The principle involved is basic.

Permit this one exception and our doors are wide open

to every form of quackery and charlatanism.

When we took our Hippocratic oath...

My dear sir,

Dr. Morton is a dentist.

He's not bound by the Hippocratic oath.

He doesn't have to share his discoveries with others.

Dentists all have secrets and they don't share them.

They're not obligated to.

Nor are we obligated to use their secrets.

This man wants our endorsement

for the purpose of making money.

Already he's received columns of free advertisement,

on the front page of every newspaper,

where no dentist has ever been before.

Now he wants more limelight,

a graver operation, more notoriety,

to further the sale of his patent remedy.

It's called an interview.

The fat one's from the New York Herald.

He came all the way.

Are you amputating the right or the left leg?

The right leg above the knee.

You're using the regular Letheon,

the same as you use in your office?

There is only one Letheon.

Do you anticipate any pain, Doctor?

Where there is Letheon, there can be no pain.

Do you expect a distinguished audience?

Everybody will be there.

Are you the co-discoverer?

Mr. Frost's contribution has been invaluable.

He was the first patient on whom I operated,

and he's offered himself since for countless experiments.

I cannot thank him enough.

It was the night of September 30th.

I was in excruciating pain...

There isn't time, Eben. I really have to go.

Thank you, gentlemen.

Madam. Thank you. Remarkable.

Good day. Good day, gentlemen.

Good day, Doctor.

No, no, it's mine, entirely mine.

I merely allow Morton to use it in his dental business.

But the papers distinctly said...

My dear Bigelow, you don't believe what you read in the papers?

I'll have something to say about that.

Cards, please. No admission without your cards, gentlemen.

But he came to me of his own free will.

He ran the risk of ridicule and injury to his business.

Don't you think the odds are worth it?

From the pinnacle of your generosity, Professor Warren,

from the loftiness of your own viewpoint,

you're apt to overlook the meanness

and avariciousness of these little people.

You mean you intend to ignore the protest

of your colleagues in the Society?

The men who put you in charge of this hospital?

You know very well that I can't.

I only wish I could.

What do you want me to do, ask him what the stuff is?

That's all. Nothing more.

And if he won't tell us?

In that case, we shall have to operate

in the good old-fashioned way.

After all, people have been operated on for centuries,

without any assistance from the dental profession.

Dr. Morton is here, Professor Warren.

Ask him to come in here for a moment.

By all means.

Will you step in, Dr. Morton?

Uh-uh, just the doctor, if you please.

Who do you think you are?

You wanted to see me, Professor Warren?

A very disagreeable situation has arisen, Dr. Morton.

My colleagues of the Massachusetts Medical Society

have protested against our operation this afternoon.

What?

These gentlemen are their delegates.

As you probably know, Mr. Morton,

physicians may not use nor prescribe patent medicines,

the ingredients of which they ignore.

In other words, they think you're trying

to make money out of your stuff.

I don't care whether you do or not.

My only interest lies in the fact that it works.

Well, you had me worried for a moment. Believe me, gentlemen,

I've never had the slightest intention of making money out of this.

Letheon is yours, freely and in perpetuity.

Not only your property,

but that of all other hospitals and charitable institutions

in this country and in all other countries.

That's very generous of you, Mr. Morton.

But I'm not sure you quite understood what I said.

Physicians may not use nor prescribe patent medicines,

the ingredients of which they ignore.

Unfortunately,

we still ignore the ingredients of your mixture.

Of course you can understand why I can't tell you that,

can't you, Professor Warren?

It's the secret of my business,

the one advantage I have over my rivals.

Why, if I were to tell you what Letheon was,

in no time at all, everybody'd be using it.

Would that be such a catastrophe?

I'm afraid it might be for me.

You see, my patent hasn't been granted yet.

It's still pending.

Maybe if you'd use the Letheon this way for a little while,

why, later after my patent had been granted...

You could sell it for more money.

What? Why, you stuffy little...

Morton...

You've been splitting fees and robbing your patients so long that you...

Stop it!

The ethics of our profession have done much more good than harm.

They don't happen to fit this case.

That is regrettable, but there's nothing more to be said.

I thank you for your good intention.

You mean you're going to continue

to let people be tortured, when it isn't necessary?

That's a very high-handed interpretation

to put on the matter, my friend.

No.

We will share the blame, Dr. Morton.

You and I.

Make the patient ready.

Yes, sir.

I shall operate in the usual way.

Preposterous.

I'm sorry to disappoint you, gentlemen,

but this operation will be performed in the old way.

All right.

"And the prayer of faith shall save the sick,"

"and the Lord shall raise him up"

"and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him."

Our Lady of Sorrows is watching down over you, Alice,

and will send an angel of mercy to protect you.

Thank you, Father.

Are you the girl?

The girl for the leg operation?

Yes, sir.

I'm terribly, terribly sorry.

It isn't as bad as it sounds, sir.

Some gentleman has made a new discovery

and it doesn't hurt anymore.

That's right.

It doesn't hurt anymore.

Now, or ever again.

Preuzeto sa www.titlovi.com