All language subtitles for Pornopung 2013 WS DVDRip XviD AC3-N3kr4_en

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranรฎ)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:21,460 --> 00:00:23,059 Hello? 2 00:00:24,980 --> 00:00:26,699 Are you Karl? 3 00:00:27,460 --> 00:00:29,419 I'm Christian. 4 00:00:31,180 --> 00:00:35,019 The guy from Stavanger. Moving to Oslo. 5 00:00:36,500 --> 00:00:41,419 - Why are you moving to Oslo? - To finish my sociology studies. 6 00:00:41,420 --> 00:00:44,219 Sure, but why are you moving? 7 00:00:45,460 --> 00:00:49,339 I guess I'm just tired of living at home. 8 00:00:49,340 --> 00:00:51,619 Are you single? 9 00:00:51,620 --> 00:00:53,259 Am I...? 10 00:00:54,500 --> 00:00:56,179 Yes, I am. 11 00:00:57,220 --> 00:00:58,939 Are you gay? 12 00:01:02,540 --> 00:01:04,219 No, I'm not. 13 00:01:04,860 --> 00:01:07,699 You hesitated. Are you sure? 14 00:01:08,380 --> 00:01:10,539 Yes, I'm positive. 15 00:01:10,540 --> 00:01:14,979 Move a little closer. Let me look at your face. 16 00:01:17,540 --> 00:01:19,299 Cool. 17 00:01:20,620 --> 00:01:21,819 Hello? 18 00:01:21,820 --> 00:01:25,139 - Did you have a nice talk? - Yes. Stop nagging! 19 00:01:25,140 --> 00:01:27,779 Where in Oslo are you staying? 20 00:01:27,780 --> 00:01:30,819 - I'm not sure. - Not all parts are safe. 21 00:01:30,820 --> 00:01:33,019 What do you mean? 22 00:01:33,020 --> 00:01:36,139 - Do you have a rape alarm? - Shut up! 23 00:01:40,340 --> 00:01:45,459 - Why are you going to Oslo? - To study. How about you? 24 00:01:45,460 --> 00:01:49,739 I'm not going to Oslo. Are you crazy? My little brother is. 25 00:01:49,740 --> 00:01:54,299 You should get better acquainted. It's a long train ride. 26 00:01:54,300 --> 00:01:57,739 Just be yourself and everything will be fine. 27 00:01:57,740 --> 00:01:59,579 I love you. 28 00:02:12,460 --> 00:02:14,099 - Hi. - Hi. 29 00:02:14,900 --> 00:02:18,499 - Are you that guy's little brother? - That's me. 30 00:02:18,500 --> 00:02:22,979 Do you think I could get your brother's phone number? 31 00:02:22,980 --> 00:02:26,019 Yes. Of course. Sure you can. 32 00:02:26,020 --> 00:02:29,579 - Thank you. - That is not a problem. 33 00:02:29,580 --> 00:02:31,219 I got it! 34 00:02:45,380 --> 00:02:47,299 - Hi. - Hi. 35 00:02:48,820 --> 00:02:52,859 - Is this where Karl lives? - Who's asking? 36 00:02:53,300 --> 00:02:56,979 Christian. I think I'm moving in here. 37 00:02:58,780 --> 00:03:00,139 Hi there. Leo. 38 00:03:01,860 --> 00:03:04,379 You're just in time. 39 00:03:04,820 --> 00:03:08,699 - Is that for me? - Sorry, no. It's for Karl. 40 00:03:08,700 --> 00:03:12,779 - Is it his birthday? - Write "100" on that. 41 00:03:19,020 --> 00:03:22,019 - Red towel means "help." - Is he with someone? 42 00:03:22,500 --> 00:03:23,739 Open it. 43 00:03:23,740 --> 00:03:27,699 We can't open the door! What if they're...? 44 00:03:34,660 --> 00:03:36,819 Congratulations! 45 00:03:36,820 --> 00:03:40,699 Leo, you didn't have to bake a cake! 46 00:03:40,700 --> 00:03:42,499 Hey, boss. 47 00:03:42,500 --> 00:03:44,579 Say hi to... 48 00:03:44,580 --> 00:03:47,379 You, say hi to Christian. 49 00:03:49,460 --> 00:03:51,819 Christian. Nice to meet you. 50 00:03:51,820 --> 00:03:54,419 - The hats! - Right. 51 00:03:54,420 --> 00:03:56,339 Cool! 52 00:03:57,300 --> 00:03:59,299 Don't forget to blow. 53 00:04:01,060 --> 00:04:04,059 Is it your birthday, or what? 54 00:04:07,300 --> 00:04:10,779 - Karl, aren't you late for work? - Shit! 55 00:04:10,780 --> 00:04:13,539 I'm a huge fan. I love you. 56 00:04:20,780 --> 00:04:22,659 See you later. 57 00:04:33,420 --> 00:04:36,739 Have you seriously had sex with 100 women? 58 00:04:36,740 --> 00:04:39,459 - Did you catch her name? - Cake lady. 59 00:04:39,460 --> 00:04:42,179 Looks: 7. Sex: 5. 60 00:04:42,180 --> 00:04:44,499 She was a club, I think. Give me a seven of clubs. 61 00:04:44,500 --> 00:04:47,499 I think you've used them up. Hang on. 62 00:04:48,060 --> 00:04:50,939 100 women? How many kids do you have? 63 00:04:50,940 --> 00:04:52,699 On a scale of 1 to 10: 64 00:04:52,700 --> 00:04:55,339 How hairy are your balls? 65 00:04:55,340 --> 00:04:59,059 - Huh? - How many women have you fucked? 66 00:04:59,060 --> 00:05:03,099 - Does that matter? - We'll still love you. 67 00:05:03,100 --> 00:05:04,459 Five... 68 00:05:04,460 --> 00:05:06,419 Six... 69 00:05:06,420 --> 00:05:08,259 ...thousand. 70 00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:18,379 Your doorbell doesn't work. When I pushed the buzzer and tried... 71 00:05:18,380 --> 00:05:22,819 Cool story, bro. We were talking about fucking. 72 00:05:22,820 --> 00:05:26,259 OK, so fucking is all you talk about here? 73 00:05:26,260 --> 00:05:30,939 Freud said that's all people talk about. We're just honest about it. 74 00:05:30,940 --> 00:05:34,539 What about you, Leo? Does that apply to you too? 75 00:05:34,540 --> 00:05:40,019 You've been duped your entire life. Girls don't want boys like you. 76 00:05:40,020 --> 00:05:43,539 But you're our roommate, so we'll help you. 77 00:05:43,540 --> 00:05:48,179 The women won the battle of the sexes. They call all the shots. 78 00:05:48,180 --> 00:05:52,179 Sorry, but we have to shave your balls now. 79 00:05:53,540 --> 00:05:56,179 Christian! Christian... 80 00:05:58,620 --> 00:06:00,379 He seems nice. 81 00:06:01,220 --> 00:06:02,779 Son of a bitch! 82 00:06:02,780 --> 00:06:06,579 CRACK, BACK & SACK 83 00:06:38,660 --> 00:06:42,539 You will be presented with certain methods - 84 00:06:42,540 --> 00:06:45,659 - and what those methods are based on. 85 00:06:45,660 --> 00:06:49,379 And you will also learn about scientific writing. 86 00:06:49,900 --> 00:06:52,819 How do we write scientific papers? 87 00:06:54,020 --> 00:06:58,819 In other words, your final thesis should focus on... 88 00:07:06,620 --> 00:07:10,099 OK? Is that clear to everyone? 89 00:07:11,100 --> 00:07:13,939 There are mandatory activities... 90 00:07:36,780 --> 00:07:39,419 - Please... - Problem? 91 00:07:39,420 --> 00:07:43,259 - It doesn't work! - Is this your bachelor thesis? 92 00:07:43,260 --> 00:07:48,099 No, but I have four minutes to get this in, or I'll fail. 93 00:07:51,860 --> 00:07:54,579 Thank you! You're my hero! 94 00:07:54,580 --> 00:07:56,619 All I need is a white steed. 95 00:07:56,620 --> 00:07:59,059 - Were you here last year? - No. 96 00:07:59,060 --> 00:08:02,059 This is my first semester in Oslo. 97 00:08:02,060 --> 00:08:05,619 - I live with... - Sorry, I have to go. 98 00:08:05,620 --> 00:08:09,899 But we're going out for beers at The Owlery later. 99 00:08:09,900 --> 00:08:12,059 - Christian. - Hi. Mylian. 100 00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:15,179 - Miriam? - No. Mylian. 101 00:08:15,180 --> 00:08:18,259 - Mylian. - See you later. I have to run. 102 00:08:21,180 --> 00:08:23,979 - You got a new job? - At a nursing home. 103 00:08:23,980 --> 00:08:29,899 - I didn't know that. How is it? - Fine. But those old folks are insane. 104 00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:31,459 Cool. 105 00:08:38,860 --> 00:08:40,579 Cheers. 106 00:08:50,140 --> 00:08:52,099 - Hi. - Hi. 107 00:08:56,980 --> 00:08:59,419 - What is this? - Cake. 108 00:09:00,060 --> 00:09:05,779 Congratulations. You are now officially Oslo's biggest asshole. 109 00:09:05,780 --> 00:09:08,459 - Was it magical? - Don't be jealous. 110 00:09:08,460 --> 00:09:10,659 Chris, come here! 111 00:09:14,260 --> 00:09:18,779 - "Feed the goat"? - What happens if you don't feed it? 112 00:09:18,780 --> 00:09:23,579 - It gets hungry? - First, yes. And then it dies. 113 00:09:23,580 --> 00:09:27,219 But don't worry. Goats are omnivorous. 114 00:09:27,220 --> 00:09:30,579 - We're going out. - Sorry, I have to read. 115 00:09:30,580 --> 00:09:32,139 Awesome! 116 00:09:32,140 --> 00:09:36,459 Our new roommate is an asexual academic. 117 00:09:36,460 --> 00:09:41,859 I like that you label me as asexual because I haven't slept with... 118 00:09:42,660 --> 00:09:47,539 - A thousand million women. - It isn't about the number. 119 00:09:48,220 --> 00:09:51,379 OK, you got me there. It is about the number. 120 00:09:51,380 --> 00:09:56,379 But it's also about radiating sexuality. Look at me, Christian. 121 00:09:56,380 --> 00:09:58,019 Look at this! 122 00:09:58,620 --> 00:10:03,059 I sweat fucking orgies! Come on, take a whiff. 123 00:10:03,060 --> 00:10:07,419 - No, I'm not going to smell you. - Come on. I sweat pussy. 124 00:10:07,420 --> 00:10:09,859 - Want to see my dick? - No. 125 00:10:09,860 --> 00:10:14,379 - I love showing off my dick. - I don't doubt it. 126 00:10:14,380 --> 00:10:17,059 - Just look down. - No. 127 00:10:17,060 --> 00:10:20,219 - And there it is. - Please come out! 128 00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:23,299 You could have one chick licking your balls - 129 00:10:23,300 --> 00:10:27,299 - and one with your "nose" in her mouth. 130 00:10:27,300 --> 00:10:29,739 - Please come out with me! - No. 131 00:10:29,740 --> 00:10:31,579 Fucking loser! 132 00:10:32,380 --> 00:10:35,339 You are the perfect candidate. 133 00:10:36,180 --> 00:10:37,739 For what? 134 00:10:37,740 --> 00:10:42,619 If you do everything I tell you for the next half year, - 135 00:10:42,620 --> 00:10:46,739 - you can easily reach 123. - What's that mean? 136 00:10:47,540 --> 00:10:52,339 Casanova shared his cock with a total of 122 women. 137 00:10:52,340 --> 00:10:56,059 So Karl's goal in life is to ravish 123 women. 138 00:10:56,060 --> 00:10:57,619 Fuck yeah! 139 00:10:57,620 --> 00:11:02,699 Is it possible to get AIDS more than once? Like double-AIDS? 140 00:11:02,700 --> 00:11:08,259 - Let it out, Chris. I've been there. - I haven't known you that long. 141 00:11:08,260 --> 00:11:14,099 But I think you have used all your energy to fuck as much as possible. 142 00:11:14,100 --> 00:11:16,859 I don't think you've slept with 100. 143 00:11:16,860 --> 00:11:21,019 By New Year's Eve, I'm going to celebrate that 123 women - 144 00:11:21,020 --> 00:11:23,979 - have been swept away by The Package. 145 00:11:24,460 --> 00:11:26,779 And if you want, - 146 00:11:26,780 --> 00:11:30,299 - we can make a deal right here and fucking now: 147 00:11:30,620 --> 00:11:35,019 If you do everything I say for the next five months, - 148 00:11:35,020 --> 00:11:40,619 - I'll turn you into a man women want to share their sexuality with. 149 00:11:40,620 --> 00:11:45,219 OK, so basically I'll be your slave for a half year... 150 00:11:45,220 --> 00:11:48,939 - Imagine how much you'll learn! - Sorry, bro. 151 00:11:48,940 --> 00:11:51,019 Chris, come on. Chris! 152 00:11:52,900 --> 00:11:54,899 Imagine the power! 153 00:11:56,020 --> 00:12:00,099 - What did he say? - "Imagine the power, Christian!" 154 00:12:00,100 --> 00:12:03,979 I think he loves this image of himself as a sex god. 155 00:12:04,300 --> 00:12:06,419 And you? 156 00:12:06,420 --> 00:12:11,139 - What about me? - Do you want to be seen as a sex god? 157 00:12:12,420 --> 00:12:17,299 I happen to be an atheist, so I don't believe in gods. 158 00:12:17,300 --> 00:12:20,299 But that's a stupid answer. 159 00:12:20,660 --> 00:12:22,299 Honest answer. 160 00:12:23,260 --> 00:12:26,139 Seriously? Yes. I do. 161 00:12:26,140 --> 00:12:27,499 You do? 162 00:12:28,460 --> 00:12:31,739 You want me to view you as a sex god? 163 00:12:32,380 --> 00:12:33,979 Why? 164 00:12:37,820 --> 00:12:42,459 According to Aristotle, being sexually active is a virtue. 165 00:12:42,460 --> 00:12:45,219 So according to virtue ethics... 166 00:12:45,220 --> 00:12:48,259 Come on, no sneaky philosophical answers. 167 00:12:48,260 --> 00:12:53,259 A sneaky question deserves a sneaky answer. Tit for tat. 168 00:12:54,540 --> 00:12:58,299 Are you coming to The Owlery tonight? 169 00:12:58,300 --> 00:13:00,899 I was planning on reading. 170 00:13:01,580 --> 00:13:03,019 Are you going? 171 00:13:03,020 --> 00:13:05,059 Yes. With you. 172 00:13:08,100 --> 00:13:11,419 - All right. Maybe. - Not maybe. Join me. 173 00:13:12,820 --> 00:13:18,019 And I'll tell all my girlfriends what a sex god you are. 174 00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:21,459 They already know. 175 00:13:21,460 --> 00:13:24,299 I sent out a group e-mail. 176 00:13:24,300 --> 00:13:29,059 If you have any intention of passing on your genes, be careful. 177 00:13:29,060 --> 00:13:33,299 "Mylian" sounds like something from Lord of the Rings. 178 00:13:33,300 --> 00:13:38,019 I hereby forbid you to think about Mulan... Mylian... Muliano. 179 00:13:38,380 --> 00:13:41,859 - Why? - Because you like her. 180 00:13:41,860 --> 00:13:45,379 I can't talk to her because I like her? 181 00:13:45,380 --> 00:13:50,059 Like her as much as you want, just stop caring so much. 182 00:13:51,060 --> 00:13:54,779 Mylion... Muylita... Muyliano... 183 00:13:55,900 --> 00:13:59,379 Sounds like a French porn actress. 184 00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:01,659 She may not even like me. 185 00:14:04,020 --> 00:14:08,059 Can we talk about something else? Forget it! 186 00:14:08,060 --> 00:14:11,019 Don't worry. They'll calm down, mom. 187 00:14:34,860 --> 00:14:36,619 Dick or sack? 188 00:14:36,620 --> 00:14:39,099 - What? - Dick or sack? 189 00:14:41,380 --> 00:14:42,859 - Sack? - Dick. 190 00:14:42,860 --> 00:14:44,979 - It was dick. - OK. 191 00:14:53,740 --> 00:14:55,579 Dick or sack? 192 00:14:57,940 --> 00:15:00,019 Sack. 193 00:15:00,020 --> 00:15:02,739 - What the hell is that? - Huh? 194 00:15:02,740 --> 00:15:06,859 What is that? Your dick is supposed to be a reward. 195 00:15:06,860 --> 00:15:09,619 That looks like a fucking punishment. 196 00:15:09,620 --> 00:15:11,259 Dick or sack? 197 00:15:12,220 --> 00:15:14,019 - Dick. - Sack. 198 00:15:14,020 --> 00:15:18,859 People go out to get pussy. We go out to give dick. 199 00:15:20,580 --> 00:15:22,539 - Hello, boys. - Hi! 200 00:15:22,540 --> 00:15:25,339 - This is Christian. - Elisa. 201 00:15:25,340 --> 00:15:30,579 He may seem shy, but once you get his clothes off, he's a monster. 202 00:15:30,580 --> 00:15:32,739 Like the Hulk? 203 00:15:32,740 --> 00:15:36,419 I like to call myself the Incredible Spunk. 204 00:15:40,020 --> 00:15:42,419 That was really bad. 205 00:15:46,140 --> 00:15:49,299 Chicks consider me a good lay, period. 206 00:15:49,300 --> 00:15:54,419 We don't realize that you're just using us as hot sex objects. 207 00:15:55,260 --> 00:15:58,019 Let me know if you feel abused. 208 00:15:58,020 --> 00:16:00,459 Don't you worry about that. 209 00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:03,019 Nobody can abuse the Spunk. 210 00:16:05,300 --> 00:16:08,539 - Are you all right? - Yes. I'm fine. 211 00:16:09,300 --> 00:16:13,379 But you really have to stop saying Spunk. 212 00:16:13,380 --> 00:16:16,099 I'll do my best. 213 00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:20,339 - Elisa, where are we going? - It's your party. 214 00:16:20,340 --> 00:16:25,019 Let's go to The Owlery. Good prices, good people. 215 00:16:25,020 --> 00:16:28,979 Fuck it! The Party Prince has spoken. 216 00:16:28,980 --> 00:16:31,259 One last round of champagne? 217 00:16:59,140 --> 00:17:01,139 - Has she called? - Huh? 218 00:17:01,140 --> 00:17:03,539 - Has she called? - No, not yet. 219 00:17:03,540 --> 00:17:08,979 - Have you texted her? - Three times. She hasn't responded. 220 00:17:09,540 --> 00:17:13,979 Trust me. Don't send any more. You'll just seem pushy. 221 00:17:13,980 --> 00:17:16,099 Now you sound like Karl. 222 00:17:16,100 --> 00:17:20,819 I hate to admit it, but sometimes he's actually right. 223 00:17:24,500 --> 00:17:26,019 Fuck it. 224 00:17:26,020 --> 00:17:28,379 - I'm leaving. - No, no! 225 00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:33,739 Do you realize how easy it is to hook up here? These hippies are starving. 226 00:17:33,740 --> 00:17:36,099 - Some other time. - I'm serious! 227 00:17:36,100 --> 00:17:40,379 They don't care if your balls aren't shaved, as long as your face is. 228 00:17:40,380 --> 00:17:43,979 Some other time. I'll see you later. 229 00:17:43,980 --> 00:17:46,699 - Christian... - See you later. 230 00:17:48,020 --> 00:17:52,339 Chris, could you bring Elisa home? She has to get to bed. 231 00:17:52,340 --> 00:17:56,899 - Bring Elisa home, Christian. - I don't want to get puked on. 232 00:17:56,900 --> 00:17:59,659 Fuck you! What time is it? 233 00:18:09,460 --> 00:18:12,859 I'm OK. I can take your shoes. 234 00:18:12,860 --> 00:18:16,819 - Up you go! - You're a good person. 235 00:18:21,020 --> 00:18:24,219 You aren't going to rape me, are you? 236 00:18:24,220 --> 00:18:28,139 No, I am definitely not going to rape you. 237 00:18:28,140 --> 00:18:30,939 - Come on. - That's swell of you. 238 00:18:31,700 --> 00:18:34,219 Can you make it from here? 239 00:18:34,220 --> 00:18:36,979 - Great. OK. Bye. - Bye. 240 00:20:26,180 --> 00:20:28,099 Rise and shine, Karl! 241 00:20:28,100 --> 00:20:32,619 Oh, shit. My alarm didn't ring. I have to get to work. 242 00:20:36,740 --> 00:20:38,739 See you later. 243 00:20:47,140 --> 00:20:48,819 You live here? 244 00:20:49,980 --> 00:20:51,779 Were you... 245 00:20:53,300 --> 00:20:57,019 - Were you out late last night? - Yeah. 246 00:20:57,020 --> 00:20:59,059 Real late. 247 00:21:03,020 --> 00:21:07,379 Are you hungry? I could make some chicken. 248 00:21:07,380 --> 00:21:11,179 No thanks, I'm not that hungry. I should leave. 249 00:21:11,580 --> 00:21:13,859 Do you have all your things? 250 00:21:14,780 --> 00:21:16,419 But... 251 00:21:18,540 --> 00:21:20,779 - See you later? - Yeah. 252 00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:22,899 I'll give you a call, OK? 253 00:21:40,460 --> 00:21:42,139 She was cute. 254 00:21:43,980 --> 00:21:46,259 So fucking - 255 00:21:46,820 --> 00:21:48,859 - tight. 256 00:21:50,620 --> 00:21:54,779 - But not worthy of breakfast? - She snored. 257 00:21:54,780 --> 00:22:00,899 Or, she made these sleeping sounds. Some sort of weird breathing. 258 00:22:00,900 --> 00:22:02,939 What was her name? 259 00:22:04,420 --> 00:22:05,819 I can't remember. 260 00:22:06,260 --> 00:22:08,099 Just feeding the goat. 261 00:22:09,700 --> 00:22:11,739 She was hot. 262 00:22:11,740 --> 00:22:14,219 A little boring in bed. 263 00:23:00,220 --> 00:23:01,619 Dick or sack? 264 00:23:03,340 --> 00:23:05,259 - Dick. - Nope. 265 00:23:06,780 --> 00:23:09,419 - Of course it is. - Nope. 266 00:23:30,820 --> 00:23:32,979 - OK. - What? 267 00:23:32,980 --> 00:23:35,459 - I'm in. - In on what? 268 00:23:35,460 --> 00:23:37,139 Teach me. 269 00:23:38,220 --> 00:23:41,339 - It'll be hectic. - And painful. 270 00:23:41,340 --> 00:23:46,579 Nagging, grumpy neighbors, hangovers... It'll be legendary! 271 00:23:46,580 --> 00:23:52,099 Are you ready to become a charming asshole that girls want to sleep with? 272 00:23:52,100 --> 00:23:54,179 You bet your ass! 273 00:23:54,700 --> 00:23:59,019 - Ouch! Shit! - We are a low caste, but we rebel. 274 00:23:59,020 --> 00:24:03,379 The Oslo and Surrounding Area Fucking Caste. 275 00:24:04,100 --> 00:24:06,179 One day, Chris... 276 00:24:06,180 --> 00:24:09,139 One day this will all be yours. 277 00:24:17,220 --> 00:24:20,699 - The first girl you had sex with? - Susann. 278 00:24:20,700 --> 00:24:24,139 - We had sex on a slope. - Susann. 279 00:24:24,140 --> 00:24:28,939 - She screwed Terje the same night. - Fuck her. She's probably obese now. 280 00:24:28,940 --> 00:24:33,139 The second time, are you sure there was full penetration? 281 00:24:33,140 --> 00:24:35,539 Pretty sure. I think. 282 00:24:35,540 --> 00:24:39,299 The head of your penis inside at least once? 283 00:24:39,300 --> 00:24:42,379 - I'm pretty sure it was. - Pimp! 284 00:24:47,420 --> 00:24:49,939 That's pretty impressive. 285 00:24:49,940 --> 00:24:55,299 Don't worry. By New Year's you'll be way up here. 286 00:24:55,300 --> 00:25:00,099 - I can guarantee at least five. - Three more? In three months? 287 00:25:00,100 --> 00:25:05,219 Before New Year's you'll be at five and I'll be at 123. 288 00:25:08,700 --> 00:25:10,699 What's on your mind? 289 00:25:11,300 --> 00:25:16,659 This may sound stupid, but what happened to just "being yourself"? 290 00:25:18,260 --> 00:25:22,859 OK, Chris, your mother raised you to be nice and sweet. 291 00:25:23,340 --> 00:25:29,019 And worst of all, to be yourself. What if "yourself" isn't good enough? 292 00:25:29,020 --> 00:25:33,699 What if "yourself" is a boring, ugly nerd? 293 00:25:33,700 --> 00:25:37,139 If you smell bad, take a shower. 294 00:25:37,140 --> 00:25:41,179 If there's a dead whore in your living room, get rid of her. 295 00:25:41,180 --> 00:25:44,099 Adaptation is as natural as evolution. 296 00:25:44,100 --> 00:25:50,299 "Yourself" is a term for losers who sit at home whacking off. Agreed? 297 00:25:50,300 --> 00:25:52,499 - Yes. - Pimp. 298 00:25:53,260 --> 00:25:55,099 For starters: 299 00:25:55,100 --> 00:26:00,059 It's essential that you control every social situation. 300 00:26:00,420 --> 00:26:05,539 It helps if you're wealthy or have a magical penis like Leo, - 301 00:26:05,540 --> 00:26:09,779 - but all it comes down to is how you communicate. 302 00:26:09,780 --> 00:26:15,579 Most girls think that a set number of boys are their perfect match. 303 00:26:15,580 --> 00:26:19,219 And that's fine. We can take advantage of that. 304 00:26:19,220 --> 00:26:25,339 Get as close to her physically as possible, without it being awkward. 305 00:26:25,340 --> 00:26:31,059 You're a little too close to Leo now, but look how close I am to you. 306 00:26:31,060 --> 00:26:35,179 With indirect body language, I can get much closer. 307 00:26:35,180 --> 00:26:39,699 But what if I go like this? "Hey, can I buy you a drink?" 308 00:26:39,700 --> 00:26:43,819 - Touch everyone, even boys. - You mean grope? 309 00:26:43,820 --> 00:26:47,979 No, don't grope. Create physical closeness. 310 00:26:47,980 --> 00:26:51,019 Always touch them in a natural manner. 311 00:26:51,020 --> 00:26:54,579 She'll never want you to play with her pussy, - 312 00:26:54,580 --> 00:26:59,019 - unless you've played with her arms and shoulders first. 313 00:26:59,620 --> 00:27:05,299 Analyze who they are with. All other boys are considered enemies. 314 00:27:05,300 --> 00:27:09,299 More on that later. What do you see over there? 315 00:27:09,300 --> 00:27:10,979 - Two girls. - Wrong. 316 00:27:10,980 --> 00:27:14,299 A hot girl with an ugly girlfriend. 317 00:27:19,340 --> 00:27:22,019 Ready? What's she look like? 318 00:27:22,020 --> 00:27:25,059 Huh? Right. She has a white shirt... 319 00:27:25,060 --> 00:27:27,979 Wrong! She's naked on top of you! 320 00:27:41,420 --> 00:27:45,499 Hi, you look great! How's it going? 321 00:27:45,500 --> 00:27:47,499 How do you know Karl? 322 00:27:47,500 --> 00:27:49,099 Who? 323 00:27:54,380 --> 00:27:59,299 Three-second rule: Talk to someone you like within three seconds. 324 00:27:59,300 --> 00:28:03,419 - What should I say? - It's all about the delivery. 325 00:28:06,940 --> 00:28:11,339 Hi! This is my roommate. The coolest guy in the world. 326 00:28:11,340 --> 00:28:12,819 Hi. Tove. 327 00:28:12,820 --> 00:28:17,179 Tove is a nurse, but she's terrified of shots. 328 00:28:17,180 --> 00:28:18,859 Cool! 329 00:28:22,020 --> 00:28:25,059 So... why are you so afraid of shots? 330 00:28:27,220 --> 00:28:30,859 I probably got scared when I was a kid, or something. 331 00:28:30,860 --> 00:28:34,379 - We aren't actually roommates. - Who? 332 00:28:34,380 --> 00:28:37,099 Me and... Me and Karl. 333 00:28:37,100 --> 00:28:41,939 I mean, we live together. In the same apartment. 334 00:28:42,540 --> 00:28:46,659 That is, I moved in. From Stavanger. 335 00:28:46,820 --> 00:28:49,459 You have beautiful eyes. 336 00:28:49,940 --> 00:28:51,739 Thank you. 337 00:28:51,740 --> 00:28:54,019 I'm a little thirsty. 338 00:28:57,300 --> 00:28:59,859 - What would you like? - Strawberry daiquiri. 339 00:28:59,860 --> 00:29:02,739 One strawberry daggery. 340 00:29:03,300 --> 00:29:07,899 I was wondering. Could I have your phone number? 341 00:29:07,900 --> 00:29:10,939 - I don't know... - You have a boyfriend? 342 00:29:10,940 --> 00:29:12,499 - No. - You don't? 343 00:29:13,820 --> 00:29:15,459 Come on. 344 00:29:15,860 --> 00:29:17,579 Let's have it. 345 00:29:22,140 --> 00:29:23,899 But... 346 00:29:23,900 --> 00:29:29,259 I have to work early tomorrow. I should probably get going. 347 00:29:33,380 --> 00:29:37,699 - What was that? - A free drink and some attention. 348 00:29:37,700 --> 00:29:40,619 - Never start by buying them a drink. - I didn't! 349 00:29:40,620 --> 00:29:41,939 You did. 350 00:29:41,940 --> 00:29:46,859 She just lumped you together with the rest of the goats. 351 00:29:46,860 --> 00:29:51,299 You elevated her way above you. She should buy you a drink. 352 00:29:53,900 --> 00:29:55,979 - How did it go? - I got her number. 353 00:29:55,980 --> 00:29:57,899 Let me see! 354 00:30:01,100 --> 00:30:04,259 What did you do? What should I say? 355 00:30:04,260 --> 00:30:07,379 Say hi. Invite her up here, or something. 356 00:30:07,380 --> 00:30:09,059 Hello? 357 00:30:11,500 --> 00:30:15,059 - What happened? - It was an old folks' home. 358 00:30:15,060 --> 00:30:19,579 - It was the night watchman. - Don't worry about it. 359 00:30:19,980 --> 00:30:23,819 She's a nurse. It was probably her work number. 360 00:30:33,540 --> 00:30:38,219 Holy crap, Karl! You still have your dildo collection? 361 00:30:38,220 --> 00:30:40,419 I told you I did. 362 00:30:40,420 --> 00:30:44,219 This is Nils. This is Johnny, who resembles Leo's. 363 00:30:44,220 --> 00:30:47,139 Flicky, and Big Jim. 364 00:30:48,220 --> 00:30:49,979 Perfect. 365 00:30:55,740 --> 00:30:59,259 Leo's about to fuck that girl. 366 00:30:59,260 --> 00:31:02,819 Hearing other people have sex makes chicks horny. 367 00:31:02,820 --> 00:31:05,619 That's when we strike. I'll take Guro. 368 00:31:05,620 --> 00:31:09,339 That Filipino chick goes crazy once she's naked. 369 00:31:09,340 --> 00:31:10,899 Or so I've heard. 370 00:31:10,900 --> 00:31:13,099 - Are you in? - Sure. 371 00:31:18,860 --> 00:31:20,659 Here we go! 372 00:32:02,060 --> 00:32:05,859 Imagine if we ended up on a desert island. 373 00:32:05,860 --> 00:32:10,619 That would suck. I have to leave now. See you later. 374 00:32:20,060 --> 00:32:25,299 - How long before you go over to her? - Three seconds tops. 375 00:32:25,300 --> 00:32:27,779 And if she asks for a drink? 376 00:32:27,780 --> 00:32:31,659 Politely decline, and try to get her to buy me one. 377 00:32:31,660 --> 00:32:35,699 Excellent. We've fed you a lot of information. 378 00:32:35,700 --> 00:32:40,459 All that's important now, is that you're totally relaxed. 379 00:32:59,180 --> 00:33:01,659 - Hi! - Hi. 380 00:33:17,540 --> 00:33:20,539 - Sorry. - Don't worry about it. 381 00:33:20,540 --> 00:33:23,419 I didn't know what to say. 382 00:33:25,380 --> 00:33:27,779 - Hi, I'm Leo. - Hi, Leo. 383 00:33:27,780 --> 00:33:31,579 - Have you met Christian? - Hi. Christian. 384 00:33:31,580 --> 00:33:34,739 We went to music kindergarten together. 385 00:33:34,740 --> 00:33:39,419 He's the only person I know who plays rhythm sticks off-key. 386 00:33:39,420 --> 00:33:41,019 Feed the goat. 387 00:33:41,020 --> 00:33:45,619 Leo played this little mini guitar while I sang. 388 00:33:45,620 --> 00:33:50,499 The kindergarten teachers threw their bras at us. 389 00:33:50,500 --> 00:33:53,939 - What did you want to become? - A stewardess. 390 00:34:02,020 --> 00:34:05,099 - What was that? - That can happen to anyone. 391 00:34:05,100 --> 00:34:06,539 What do I do now? 392 00:34:10,420 --> 00:34:13,459 - Fuck it. Take her back. - Are you nuts? 393 00:34:13,460 --> 00:34:17,979 Trust me. Just go right over there and kiss her. 394 00:34:17,980 --> 00:34:21,539 - Are you sure... - Shut up. Go for the kiss. 395 00:34:36,860 --> 00:34:41,259 What the hell do you think you're doing, snail dick? 396 00:34:43,980 --> 00:34:45,819 Good work, boss! 397 00:34:50,220 --> 00:34:52,139 What the hell? 398 00:34:53,140 --> 00:34:58,499 - Hang on, let me kill this faggot. - He's with me. I told him to do it. 399 00:34:58,500 --> 00:35:01,019 Really? Nice to meet you. 400 00:35:01,860 --> 00:35:04,939 I'm The Punisher. Let's get a drink. 401 00:35:09,940 --> 00:35:12,259 Karl may seem cynical. 402 00:35:12,700 --> 00:35:17,859 But compared to The Punisher he's a study in refined style. 403 00:35:17,860 --> 00:35:23,699 That goat has a constant hard-on. He won't stop until he gets laid. 404 00:35:24,620 --> 00:35:27,619 And when he eventually does score, - 405 00:35:27,620 --> 00:35:31,179 - he always tries to butt-fuck the girl. 406 00:35:31,180 --> 00:35:34,779 He feels they deserve it for playing hard to get. 407 00:35:34,780 --> 00:35:37,779 Thus the name, The Punisher. 408 00:35:42,420 --> 00:35:44,659 It's a fucking war out there. 409 00:35:44,660 --> 00:35:46,539 A war? 410 00:35:46,540 --> 00:35:48,459 - Hi there! - Hi! 411 00:35:48,460 --> 00:35:51,299 It's great to see you again. 412 00:35:51,300 --> 00:35:54,539 Last time was a little embarrassing. 413 00:35:54,540 --> 00:35:58,219 You have nothing to be embarrassed about. 414 00:35:58,220 --> 00:36:02,299 But you did propose to me, so we are engaged. 415 00:36:02,860 --> 00:36:04,739 You said yes? 416 00:36:04,740 --> 00:36:08,219 Nyah. I said I'd think about it. 417 00:36:08,220 --> 00:36:11,779 - Hi. Good to see you again. - Hi! 418 00:36:11,780 --> 00:36:14,899 - Hi. Line. - Hi. Kine. 419 00:36:14,900 --> 00:36:17,859 - Kine and Trine? - Kine and Line. 420 00:36:17,860 --> 00:36:19,939 Gotta keep my dick straight. 421 00:38:55,300 --> 00:38:56,979 Hey... 422 00:38:58,180 --> 00:39:00,219 Is it OK if we just... 423 00:39:00,220 --> 00:39:02,579 Sure. Of course. 424 00:40:03,420 --> 00:40:08,539 I'm not the type to stick my finger up girls' asses on the dance floor. 425 00:40:08,540 --> 00:40:12,419 The Punisher's just messing around. 426 00:40:12,420 --> 00:40:17,899 Why do girls go home with cavemen who use their dicks like clubs? 427 00:40:18,340 --> 00:40:20,019 I don't get it. 428 00:40:20,940 --> 00:40:24,539 Aren't you working on a degree in sociology? 429 00:40:24,540 --> 00:40:28,379 You're the scholar here. Figure it out. 430 00:40:41,980 --> 00:40:44,299 Equal rights in Norway 431 00:41:02,380 --> 00:41:04,979 "My Crack, Back & Shaven Sack." 432 00:41:04,980 --> 00:41:08,619 "The division of power between the sexes - 433 00:41:08,620 --> 00:41:11,219 - in today's post-feminist society." 434 00:41:11,220 --> 00:41:16,619 - What's it about? - It's about living in Norway in 2013. 435 00:41:17,620 --> 00:41:19,059 With a penis. 436 00:41:20,060 --> 00:41:21,939 Is that a bad thing? 437 00:41:21,940 --> 00:41:26,579 In Norway today, women live five years longer than men. 438 00:41:26,580 --> 00:41:29,739 Nine out of ten jail inmates are men. 439 00:41:29,740 --> 00:41:33,419 Three of four suicides. We have military service. 440 00:41:33,420 --> 00:41:38,539 Men are overrepresented when it comes to accidents, drowning, - 441 00:41:38,540 --> 00:41:40,619 - drunkenness, depression. 442 00:41:40,620 --> 00:41:44,939 In nine of ten divorces, the women get the children. 443 00:41:44,940 --> 00:41:48,939 Women get better grades than men in 90 %% of courses. 444 00:41:48,940 --> 00:41:53,019 And women have all the power in the gender market. 445 00:41:53,020 --> 00:41:58,699 - We were oppressed for 60,000 years. - But I'm talking about today. 446 00:41:59,260 --> 00:42:03,339 - So now you're the oppressed ones? - Yes. 447 00:42:03,340 --> 00:42:07,579 Everyone can see it, but women are still portrayed as the victims. 448 00:42:07,580 --> 00:42:10,899 Just because there are fewer female leaders. 449 00:42:10,900 --> 00:42:13,059 So why are fewer leaders female? 450 00:42:13,060 --> 00:42:19,659 Because being the CEO of Statoil is a shit job that no one really wants. 451 00:42:19,660 --> 00:42:22,699 Unless you're a narcissistic bastard that loves pussy. 452 00:42:22,700 --> 00:42:24,659 - And money. - And power. 453 00:42:24,660 --> 00:42:27,779 And what do you use that money and power for? 454 00:42:27,780 --> 00:42:32,019 To drink champagne out of the ass of some hot heiress. 455 00:42:32,020 --> 00:42:37,059 I'm not sure it's as lopsided as you make it sound. 456 00:42:37,060 --> 00:42:40,739 Chris, tonight I'm taking you to Nirvana. 457 00:42:52,900 --> 00:42:58,219 Are we picking up lesbians? This place is full of homos. 458 00:42:58,220 --> 00:43:02,899 Relax. Savor the atmosphere. How many desperate men do you see? 459 00:43:02,900 --> 00:43:07,899 How many grumpy girls yelling at some guy for making a move? 460 00:43:09,860 --> 00:43:14,379 - I've never been to a gay bar. - You're treated like a human here. 461 00:43:14,380 --> 00:43:17,539 It's a great place to hang out and relax. 462 00:43:17,540 --> 00:43:21,539 Here, any one man is worth as much as another. 463 00:43:23,260 --> 00:43:24,899 Look at that guy. 464 00:43:25,940 --> 00:43:30,939 Jesus, another ten shots, and he could have me fooled. 465 00:43:32,540 --> 00:43:35,939 Have you ever done it? With a man? 466 00:43:37,220 --> 00:43:39,619 It isn't my cup of tea. 467 00:43:39,620 --> 00:43:41,419 - How about you? - Right! 468 00:43:42,020 --> 00:43:46,059 I'm 24 years old and have had sex with two women. 469 00:43:46,060 --> 00:43:50,739 I'm due a little more pussy before I switch to cock and ass. 470 00:43:50,740 --> 00:43:52,819 Did I hear "ass"? 471 00:43:54,660 --> 00:43:57,299 - Mind if we join you? - Not at all! 472 00:43:59,540 --> 00:44:02,779 Ten shots. You said ten shots. 473 00:44:04,740 --> 00:44:07,419 - Cheers! - Cumshots! 474 00:44:12,260 --> 00:44:14,379 OK! Hang on... 475 00:44:14,380 --> 00:44:18,059 Christian, bring those two girls home. 476 00:44:18,060 --> 00:44:22,619 Can't we just pretend like we're gay tonight? 477 00:44:22,620 --> 00:44:25,819 - Not a chance. Go! - Christian! 478 00:44:26,500 --> 00:44:29,459 Hi, excuse me for interrupting. 479 00:44:29,460 --> 00:44:35,259 Could I just stand here and pretend like I'm picking you up? 480 00:44:35,260 --> 00:44:39,659 Just until my friend is satisfied? He won't stop nagging. 481 00:44:39,660 --> 00:44:41,779 - Of course. - Cool. 482 00:44:42,780 --> 00:44:46,579 Quite the pressure. Could I bum a cigarette? 483 00:44:46,580 --> 00:44:49,939 - Where are we going now? - My place! 484 00:44:49,940 --> 00:44:53,099 - Isn't he coming? - No, he has things to do. 485 00:44:53,100 --> 00:44:54,659 How old are you? 486 00:44:54,660 --> 00:44:56,299 58. 487 00:44:56,300 --> 00:44:58,059 And you? 488 00:44:58,060 --> 00:45:00,579 - What do you think? - 16. 489 00:45:40,940 --> 00:45:43,059 - Hi. - Shh! 490 00:45:45,300 --> 00:45:48,419 - Are you in here? - Who is that? 491 00:45:50,820 --> 00:45:52,659 Hi. I'm Christian. 492 00:45:54,500 --> 00:45:58,179 Have you eaten? Why don't I make breakfast? 493 00:45:58,180 --> 00:45:59,819 No, I'm fine. 494 00:46:00,420 --> 00:46:04,459 Where are the car keys, mom? I'm meeting Kaja. 495 00:46:04,460 --> 00:46:07,899 - You can drive Christian home. - Seriously? 496 00:46:07,900 --> 00:46:11,059 No, really. Don't worry about me. 497 00:46:11,060 --> 00:46:14,339 - It's the least we can do. - I'll take the tram. 498 00:46:35,100 --> 00:46:38,099 - Talk to me. - What? 499 00:46:38,100 --> 00:46:41,179 No bullshit. Have you fucked? 500 00:46:45,460 --> 00:46:47,139 Yes! 501 00:46:48,980 --> 00:46:50,299 Fuck! 502 00:46:56,540 --> 00:46:58,899 What the hell is going on? 503 00:47:02,300 --> 00:47:05,259 - Did you get laid? - Like a madman! 504 00:47:05,260 --> 00:47:08,419 - She was pretty old. - Shut up! Women age like wine! 505 00:47:08,420 --> 00:47:11,099 I'm proud of you. Well done. 506 00:47:11,780 --> 00:47:14,979 Chris, stand up. Stand up! 507 00:47:16,980 --> 00:47:21,339 I hereby appoint you as Oslo Fuck Club's - 508 00:47:21,340 --> 00:47:24,459 - first official Big Cat. 509 00:47:26,180 --> 00:47:28,099 For the one of us who, - 510 00:47:28,100 --> 00:47:32,019 - at any given time, last fucked a new chick. 511 00:47:35,140 --> 00:47:36,979 OK, fuck it. 512 00:47:36,980 --> 00:47:40,659 You have been fantastic. You too, Leo. 513 00:47:40,660 --> 00:47:46,179 I'll admit it. I've been holding back. But that's over now. 514 00:47:46,180 --> 00:47:52,219 Now it's all about cock, pussy, S&M in the woods and fucking lesbians. 515 00:47:52,220 --> 00:47:54,659 Try stopping me, Middle Cat. 516 00:47:54,660 --> 00:47:57,179 - Burn! - Shut up, Baby Cat! 517 00:47:57,180 --> 00:47:59,099 Come on. Maja! 518 00:47:59,500 --> 00:48:01,579 Maja! 519 00:48:02,740 --> 00:48:06,859 - Time for a party! - I'll kill your whole family, Karl! 520 00:48:07,340 --> 00:48:11,979 OK. We have six hours to organize the party of the year. 521 00:48:11,980 --> 00:48:15,099 The mother-in-law of all parties. 522 00:48:15,100 --> 00:48:19,939 Chris, you have to find as much alcohol as you possibly can. 523 00:48:19,940 --> 00:48:25,779 Leo, you handle the crazy shit. Here's my card, don't tell me what you buy. 524 00:48:25,780 --> 00:48:32,059 Maja, you call every girl you have ever met in the surrounding area. 525 00:48:32,060 --> 00:48:35,419 - You know more than I do. - He's fucked 90 %% of them. 526 00:48:35,420 --> 00:48:39,179 It would be kind of like Hefner, partying with girls you've screwed. 527 00:48:39,180 --> 00:48:42,179 - Fine, we both score chicks. - Fuck you. 528 00:48:42,180 --> 00:48:44,779 - Excellent. - Maja? 529 00:48:44,780 --> 00:48:48,659 - What if we don't feed the goat? - It gets hungry. 530 00:48:48,660 --> 00:48:50,219 Feed the goat! 531 00:49:21,980 --> 00:49:25,619 - You should get a jacuzzi. - More champagne? 532 00:49:27,820 --> 00:49:29,619 - Hi. - Hi. 533 00:49:32,340 --> 00:49:34,979 I was invited, if... 534 00:49:34,980 --> 00:49:37,419 Of course, no problem. 535 00:49:37,420 --> 00:49:41,659 As long as it's been cleared by the goat. 536 00:49:41,660 --> 00:49:44,699 So... It's good to see you. 537 00:49:44,700 --> 00:49:46,779 Likewise. 538 00:49:46,780 --> 00:49:51,179 - You want something to drink? - I brought my own. 539 00:49:52,860 --> 00:49:54,699 Dick or sack? 540 00:49:54,700 --> 00:49:57,099 - Huh? - Dick or sack? 541 00:50:02,140 --> 00:50:04,059 Sack? 542 00:50:04,060 --> 00:50:06,259 Wrong. It was dick. 543 00:50:07,060 --> 00:50:13,139 I thought you of all people would recognize a dick when you saw one. 544 00:50:59,180 --> 00:51:03,019 Hey, maybe it's time to start calming down? 545 00:51:03,020 --> 00:51:06,339 The goat needs to be fed. It needs to. 546 00:51:06,340 --> 00:51:09,459 Or else the SPCA will get mad at us - 547 00:51:09,460 --> 00:51:13,099 - and all hell will break loose. We don't want that. 548 00:52:24,700 --> 00:52:26,379 Sorry! 549 00:52:31,180 --> 00:52:32,939 Listen... 550 00:52:33,740 --> 00:52:35,859 I should leave now. 551 00:52:35,860 --> 00:52:38,379 Do you want to walk me out? 552 00:52:38,380 --> 00:52:41,259 I just have to say bye to Maja. 553 00:52:41,260 --> 00:52:44,699 Thanks for tonight. It was awesome. 554 00:52:56,660 --> 00:53:01,379 I think it's best for everyone if I go home with you. 555 00:54:27,100 --> 00:54:28,819 Hello! 556 00:54:31,460 --> 00:54:35,099 How are things here? Did I wake you up? 557 00:54:37,940 --> 00:54:40,859 Were you at a party last night? 558 00:54:48,340 --> 00:54:51,859 All right, bye. See you on Sunday. 559 00:55:13,060 --> 00:55:14,899 There you go. 560 00:55:17,300 --> 00:55:19,139 What's your name? 561 00:55:19,140 --> 00:55:20,739 Mads, was it? 562 00:55:21,660 --> 00:55:23,499 Mads is a super name. 563 00:55:24,500 --> 00:55:29,659 How old are you? 564 00:55:29,660 --> 00:55:31,019 One? 565 00:55:31,020 --> 00:55:33,939 - Answer Christian. - Two? 566 00:55:33,940 --> 00:55:36,379 You don't have to answer. 567 00:55:37,500 --> 00:55:37,980 Hello! 568 00:55:49,860 --> 00:55:51,619 You just spilled some. 569 00:56:25,580 --> 00:56:29,859 My first draft is due in early December. 570 00:56:33,940 --> 00:56:35,579 Yeah. 571 00:56:37,100 --> 00:56:39,579 No, that didn't work out. 572 00:56:42,460 --> 00:56:45,539 She ended up in bed with Karl. 573 00:56:46,900 --> 00:56:52,379 No, it wasn't like that. They didn't even know who the other one was. 574 00:56:52,380 --> 00:56:54,779 No, mom. It isn't... 575 00:56:54,780 --> 00:56:58,019 He doesn't even know her name. 576 00:56:58,020 --> 00:57:00,699 Stop. It's no big deal. 577 00:57:01,100 --> 00:57:04,339 Anyway, I have met someone else. 578 00:57:05,340 --> 00:57:08,059 Yeah. Her name is Elisa. 579 00:57:08,540 --> 00:57:10,379 So that's... 580 00:57:10,380 --> 00:57:13,499 Yes, she's very cool. A very cool girl. 581 00:57:19,340 --> 00:57:21,539 Hey, Karl, come here. 582 00:57:24,860 --> 00:57:27,099 - That looks great. - What? 583 00:57:27,100 --> 00:57:30,299 You coming out with us tonight? 584 00:57:30,300 --> 00:57:32,779 Elisa and I are meeting Maja. 585 00:57:32,780 --> 00:57:36,939 You've been hanging out for weeks. Are you an item? 586 00:57:37,340 --> 00:57:39,379 - I don't know. - What's that mean? 587 00:57:39,380 --> 00:57:43,219 It means we enjoy each other's company. 588 00:57:43,220 --> 00:57:46,179 Does it have to be more complicated? 589 00:57:46,620 --> 00:57:49,459 - Are you her boyfriend now? - No. 590 00:57:49,460 --> 00:57:54,739 - You're just getting the hang of this. - You need at least one more. 591 00:57:55,380 --> 00:58:00,259 Why get continually rejected, when I can have fun with Elisa? 592 00:58:00,260 --> 00:58:03,499 OK, I have a plan. Bring Elisa, - 593 00:58:03,500 --> 00:58:06,739 - and score a threesome. She'll be game. 594 00:58:07,780 --> 00:58:12,939 I don't think she's into that. And she has her kid this weekend. 595 00:58:13,340 --> 00:58:16,179 - Elisa has a kid? - How old? 596 00:58:16,180 --> 00:58:17,979 Two, maybe? 597 00:58:18,540 --> 00:58:20,299 Whew! 598 00:58:22,660 --> 00:58:24,299 What? 599 00:58:24,740 --> 00:58:26,139 Hm? 600 00:58:28,100 --> 00:58:29,699 Have you... 601 00:58:30,740 --> 00:58:31,979 When? 602 00:58:31,980 --> 00:58:35,299 Christ, it was like four years ago. 603 00:58:35,300 --> 00:58:39,579 - It was at this crazy after-party. - You too? 604 00:58:39,580 --> 00:58:42,459 We were wasted, or stoned. 605 00:58:42,460 --> 00:58:45,459 It was no big deal. It was just for kicks. 606 00:58:45,460 --> 00:58:50,419 So you and Leo fucked Elisa at the same time? 607 00:58:50,420 --> 00:58:54,219 - Was anyone else involved? - No, just us. 608 00:58:54,220 --> 00:58:59,819 - But, shit, she's smoking hot! - It was just some drunken fun. 609 00:59:10,780 --> 00:59:15,539 She would probably have told you if she wanted you to know. 610 00:59:15,540 --> 00:59:20,299 "By the way, your buddies double-penetrated my ass." 611 00:59:20,300 --> 00:59:25,939 "But I'm done with that now. Let's do it the normal way." 612 00:59:25,940 --> 00:59:27,619 Come on, Christian! 613 00:59:27,620 --> 00:59:32,979 Let's go find the lesbian national yoga team and have an eightsome. 614 00:59:59,740 --> 01:00:02,699 How many have you had sex with? 615 01:00:04,140 --> 01:00:07,499 What kind of a question is that? 616 01:00:07,500 --> 01:00:09,859 I'm just curious. 617 01:00:09,860 --> 01:00:11,419 OK. 618 01:00:12,940 --> 01:00:14,739 34, I think. 619 01:00:15,420 --> 01:00:18,299 Or 33. Something like that. 620 01:00:21,540 --> 01:00:24,739 Have you ever been in a threesome? 621 01:00:24,740 --> 01:00:27,779 Why are you asking me that? 622 01:00:31,820 --> 01:00:36,259 Over there, isn't that that girl you made out with? 623 01:00:37,500 --> 01:00:39,659 Maybe she could join us? 624 01:00:43,580 --> 01:00:47,739 Christ! I thought you were serious for a second. 625 01:00:47,740 --> 01:00:49,619 What do you mean? 626 01:00:50,700 --> 01:00:53,139 What, are you serious? 627 01:00:56,820 --> 01:00:58,979 - OK. - OK? 628 01:00:58,980 --> 01:01:02,539 - So you're up for it? - Yeah, sure. 629 01:01:02,540 --> 01:01:04,219 I don't know. 630 01:01:04,980 --> 01:01:06,659 Or... 631 01:01:07,060 --> 01:01:08,739 No. 632 01:01:09,780 --> 01:01:11,699 Why not? 633 01:01:11,700 --> 01:01:13,259 Because... 634 01:01:13,260 --> 01:01:15,979 Because I don't want to. 635 01:01:20,260 --> 01:01:22,579 How about a foursome? 636 01:01:24,100 --> 01:01:28,859 We can bring in Karl and Leo and all fuck together. 637 01:01:34,140 --> 01:01:35,619 Listen... 638 01:01:35,620 --> 01:01:39,099 That happened ages ago, Christian. 639 01:01:40,060 --> 01:01:44,619 - Why are you being like this? - Like what? 640 01:01:44,620 --> 01:01:48,659 - Like a guy who's into threesomes? - I don't want to. 641 01:01:48,660 --> 01:01:51,939 Why don't you ask how many I have slept with? 642 01:01:52,420 --> 01:01:55,819 - You know there aren't many. - I don't care! 643 01:01:55,820 --> 01:02:00,579 - Why didn't you say something? - I didn't see it as a problem. 644 01:02:00,580 --> 01:02:02,659 This is so typical! 645 01:02:02,660 --> 01:02:06,739 Karl and Leo can fuck around because they're men, but I'm a woman... 646 01:02:06,740 --> 01:02:12,339 I'm not talking about what you have done. I'm talking about us. 647 01:02:12,820 --> 01:02:15,859 You're trying to force me into a fuck orgy! 648 01:02:15,860 --> 01:02:21,299 Fine, since you're beyond all that, let's move in together. 649 01:02:21,300 --> 01:02:26,699 And I can be Mads' substitute dad, since he's so crazy about me! 650 01:02:32,700 --> 01:02:34,619 Don't call me. 651 01:07:10,900 --> 01:07:12,339 Out you go. 652 01:07:16,420 --> 01:07:19,779 You and Kevin Danielsen were arrested. 653 01:07:20,940 --> 01:07:24,939 Kevin who? I don't know a Kevin Danielsen. 654 01:07:24,940 --> 01:07:27,219 You called him - 655 01:07:27,220 --> 01:07:31,299 - The Punisher last night. Do you know him, or not? 656 01:07:31,300 --> 01:07:32,899 I do. 657 01:07:32,900 --> 01:07:39,619 You have been charged with violating Penal Code section 192-A: 658 01:07:39,620 --> 01:07:43,699 "Sexual intercourse accomplished by violence or menace." 659 01:07:43,700 --> 01:07:46,939 "Punishable by up to 10 years in prison." 660 01:07:46,940 --> 01:07:51,979 I suggest you get yourself a lawyer. You will be released... 661 01:08:42,980 --> 01:08:45,339 - Karl! - I told you so! 662 01:08:46,220 --> 01:08:47,859 Up you go! 663 01:08:47,860 --> 01:08:50,579 You doubted your cock. 664 01:08:50,580 --> 01:08:54,579 But you've just fucked with that cock, haven't you? 665 01:08:56,660 --> 01:09:00,939 Five chicks, and it isn't even Christmas yet. Damn I'm good! 666 01:09:00,940 --> 01:09:04,979 You've become a goddam fucking machine! 667 01:09:04,980 --> 01:09:07,459 I have to go get laid. 668 01:09:25,340 --> 01:09:27,099 Christian? 669 01:09:29,260 --> 01:09:31,619 Yes. 670 01:09:31,620 --> 01:09:34,019 - Sandwich? - Excuse me? 671 01:09:34,020 --> 01:09:37,899 - Would you like a sandwich? - No, thanks. 672 01:09:39,180 --> 01:09:42,059 I've looked at what you gave me. 673 01:09:42,620 --> 01:09:47,779 - This shouldn't be a problem. - OK. What does that mean? 674 01:09:47,780 --> 01:09:52,019 That means they don't have enough evidence. 675 01:09:52,020 --> 01:09:55,899 So you'll probably get off scot-free. 676 01:09:57,740 --> 01:10:00,579 What if they do have enough evidence? 677 01:10:00,580 --> 01:10:03,459 Then you risk some years in the slammer. 678 01:10:04,020 --> 01:10:07,739 Or a fine. Depending on what they find. 679 01:10:08,260 --> 01:10:10,499 Sure you don't want a sandwich? 680 01:10:38,460 --> 01:10:41,459 Aren't you going to eat? 681 01:10:41,460 --> 01:10:44,059 No, I'm not that hungry. 682 01:10:44,060 --> 01:10:47,379 - Are you sick? - No, I'm not sick. 683 01:10:49,340 --> 01:10:51,259 You look sick. 684 01:10:51,260 --> 01:10:56,299 It's called a hangover. That's a grown-up sickness. 685 01:10:57,980 --> 01:11:01,059 How's it going with the ladies? 686 01:11:02,580 --> 01:11:04,539 Fine, I guess. 687 01:11:04,540 --> 01:11:06,859 Do you have a girlfriend? 688 01:11:06,860 --> 01:11:08,579 - No. - Why not? 689 01:11:10,420 --> 01:11:13,139 Leave Christian alone now. 690 01:11:20,140 --> 01:11:22,939 Hey, how are you really doing? 691 01:11:24,340 --> 01:11:27,339 I'm fine. Just have a lot on my mind. 692 01:11:28,020 --> 01:11:30,859 - I'm very proud of you. - Stop it. 693 01:11:30,860 --> 01:11:35,019 I mean it. You've always been such a sweet boy. 694 01:11:35,020 --> 01:11:40,219 No matter what you do, I will always be proud of you. 695 01:11:43,420 --> 01:11:48,859 But listen, if something has happened, you have to be honest. 696 01:11:48,860 --> 01:11:51,899 Then everything will work out. 697 01:11:51,900 --> 01:11:54,059 - Duly noted. - OK? 698 01:11:57,820 --> 01:12:00,819 Good night. Sleep tight. 699 01:12:19,620 --> 01:12:21,259 Hey! 700 01:12:21,860 --> 01:12:24,899 Hi, it's you. I thought... 701 01:12:24,900 --> 01:12:27,979 Never mind. I've been thinking. 702 01:12:27,980 --> 01:12:30,219 - About what? - My case. 703 01:12:30,220 --> 01:12:32,939 Shit, I forgot to tell you! 704 01:12:32,940 --> 01:12:35,499 I got a call a few days ago. 705 01:12:35,500 --> 01:12:38,339 All the charges have been dropped. 706 01:12:38,340 --> 01:12:42,499 She wasn't up for a full trial. I told you so. 707 01:12:42,500 --> 01:12:46,019 - But I want... - It's very common. 708 01:12:52,660 --> 01:12:55,059 I want to confess. 709 01:12:55,060 --> 01:12:58,859 - Why? - Because I can't live with this. 710 01:13:04,060 --> 01:13:08,379 Listen, she said she doesn't want any more attention. 711 01:13:08,380 --> 01:13:14,339 The police have to drop a rape case if there's no victim. Case closed. 712 01:13:14,340 --> 01:13:19,979 Don't force her to do something she doesn't want to do. Again. 713 01:13:20,860 --> 01:13:22,099 OK? 714 01:13:22,780 --> 01:13:25,779 Put it behind you, Christian. 715 01:13:25,780 --> 01:13:27,779 Happy New Year. 716 01:13:49,580 --> 01:13:51,299 Christian? 717 01:13:51,300 --> 01:13:54,379 Can't you come out? We miss you. 718 01:14:17,300 --> 01:14:19,179 Hi! 719 01:14:19,180 --> 01:14:20,579 What's this? 720 01:14:22,380 --> 01:14:28,459 This is... a prioritized list of girls' names in case I get a daughter. 721 01:14:28,460 --> 01:14:33,139 - Are you going to be a dad? - I don't know. Maybe. 722 01:14:33,140 --> 01:14:36,859 You don't have Tone there. Mind if I add my name? 723 01:14:53,420 --> 01:14:53,900 Hi. 724 01:14:59,700 --> 01:15:01,579 How are you doing? 725 01:15:04,580 --> 01:15:05,819 I... 726 01:15:05,820 --> 01:15:07,619 Super. 727 01:15:16,420 --> 01:15:20,419 Has Karl told you how he lost his virginity? 728 01:15:21,820 --> 01:15:26,219 Up by Lake Sognsvann, with a girlfriend of mine. 729 01:15:26,220 --> 01:15:28,099 Sounds amazing... 730 01:15:29,180 --> 01:15:33,339 He didn't notice that his nose started bleeding. 731 01:15:33,340 --> 01:15:35,779 Her face ended up covered in blood. 732 01:15:36,140 --> 01:15:39,379 Number one: Nosebleed Ellen. 733 01:15:41,900 --> 01:15:43,779 Yeah. 734 01:15:43,940 --> 01:15:48,139 - It isn't easy. - You don't know the half of it. 735 01:15:50,980 --> 01:15:53,019 Here. 736 01:16:02,940 --> 01:16:04,899 - Is this Karl? - Yes. 737 01:16:05,580 --> 01:16:10,299 So he clearly knows what it feels like to be rejected. 738 01:16:15,380 --> 01:16:19,179 Listen, I know Karl can be a total pain. 739 01:16:20,100 --> 01:16:25,099 Personally, I've never been a fan of his womanizing. 740 01:16:26,580 --> 01:16:28,499 All those girls. 741 01:16:29,820 --> 01:16:34,459 But I let it slide because it has had a positive effect on him. 742 01:16:34,460 --> 01:16:38,899 That's because you're in love with him, Maja. 743 01:16:47,980 --> 01:16:49,739 Anyway... 744 01:16:51,900 --> 01:16:55,659 I know those guys can be intense and irritating. 745 01:16:55,660 --> 01:17:01,939 But staring at the ceiling and not talking to anyone, is also bad. 746 01:17:02,620 --> 01:17:05,379 If not for them, do it for me. 747 01:17:06,300 --> 01:17:10,659 I need someone to talk to out there with an IQ over 70. 748 01:17:14,260 --> 01:17:16,219 - Maja? - Hm? 749 01:17:23,780 --> 01:17:25,539 I have... 750 01:17:29,660 --> 01:17:32,699 Don't worry about it, Christian. 751 01:17:36,780 --> 01:17:40,619 Ladies and gentlemen, friends, and you there... 752 01:17:40,620 --> 01:17:43,339 I don't know you, but I like you. 753 01:17:43,340 --> 01:17:50,259 It's awesome that so many of you are still around after all our fuck-ups. 754 01:17:53,500 --> 01:17:59,979 But there is one person who has made this a fantastic year for me. 755 01:17:59,980 --> 01:18:04,899 One of my favorite people in the whole fucking world: 756 01:18:04,900 --> 01:18:06,659 Christian! 757 01:18:07,660 --> 01:18:11,339 He has changed my worldview - 758 01:18:11,340 --> 01:18:13,859 - with his naive kindness. 759 01:18:14,580 --> 01:18:19,179 And unbeknownst to him, he has helped me and Leo write a book - 760 01:18:19,180 --> 01:18:23,779 - that will hopefully help many desperate jerk-offs. 761 01:18:23,780 --> 01:18:27,139 He has been through a boot camp from hell - 762 01:18:27,140 --> 01:18:31,099 - that makes the special forces look like bitches. 763 01:18:31,100 --> 01:18:34,299 It's been hard, dark and miserable, - 764 01:18:34,300 --> 01:18:36,779 - but he rose to the occasion. 765 01:18:36,780 --> 01:18:40,419 Like a fucking phoenix from the ashes! 766 01:18:41,780 --> 01:18:44,939 It is a pick-up guide for men. 767 01:18:44,940 --> 01:18:49,979 How to go from man on the street to fucking machine. 768 01:18:49,980 --> 01:18:56,019 123 tips, illustrated throughout with pictures I have drawn of Christian. 769 01:18:56,940 --> 01:19:01,459 I would like to dedicate the last toast of the year - 770 01:19:01,460 --> 01:19:04,259 - to Christian. Cheers! 771 01:19:12,700 --> 01:19:16,219 Christian, don't be such a party pooper. 772 01:19:19,140 --> 01:19:21,299 - Hey! - What the hell? 773 01:19:24,500 --> 01:19:26,419 Take it easy! 774 01:19:32,860 --> 01:19:40,540 Christian! 775 01:21:51,140 --> 01:21:52,819 Hey, boss. 776 01:21:55,860 --> 01:21:57,859 Get lost. Go away. 777 01:21:58,900 --> 01:22:02,139 I thought I'd try to talk you down. 778 01:22:02,140 --> 01:22:05,059 Just leave me alone. For once. 779 01:22:05,900 --> 01:22:09,299 I'm not leaving here without you. 780 01:22:12,100 --> 01:22:14,379 OK. So what is this? 781 01:22:15,100 --> 01:22:18,379 - The final chapter? You save me? - Please... 782 01:22:18,380 --> 01:22:20,219 Chapter 123: 783 01:22:20,220 --> 01:22:23,939 Karl the Savior rescues Christian the Pathetic. 784 01:22:23,940 --> 01:22:27,019 What do you think I am? 785 01:22:27,020 --> 01:22:31,099 I think you went behind my back and wrote a book. 786 01:22:31,100 --> 01:22:36,299 You fucked someone you knew I liked. You forced me... 787 01:22:36,300 --> 01:22:40,179 Leo and I didn't force you to do anything. 788 01:22:40,940 --> 01:22:44,059 OK? You went along voluntarily. 789 01:22:44,060 --> 01:22:49,059 - After you fucked Mylian. - Yes, I fucked Mylian. 790 01:22:49,060 --> 01:22:54,419 I realized you liked her, so I fucked her. And it helped. 791 01:22:54,420 --> 01:22:57,819 - It helped? - Yes. Say what you want. 792 01:22:57,820 --> 01:23:02,699 You are a much better man than that wimp I met six months ago. 793 01:23:02,700 --> 01:23:08,939 If you keep listening to me, I can guarantee you an awesome life. 794 01:23:08,940 --> 01:23:12,939 And you know it. I did all that to open your eyes. 795 01:23:12,940 --> 01:23:17,699 To give you a chance to avoid being constantly rejected. 796 01:23:17,700 --> 01:23:19,419 Open my eyes? 797 01:23:21,100 --> 01:23:24,219 You are so fucking stupid. 798 01:23:24,220 --> 01:23:28,459 Just tell me what's wrong, and I'll help you. 799 01:23:29,220 --> 01:23:32,259 We raped a girl, Karl. 800 01:23:32,260 --> 01:23:34,299 Me and The Punisher. 801 01:23:35,620 --> 01:23:38,459 So fuck "being rejected." 802 01:23:40,580 --> 01:23:44,899 - Shit, I... - You didn't think that would happen? 803 01:23:44,900 --> 01:23:47,539 Of course not. You're an idiot. 804 01:23:47,540 --> 01:23:50,219 You have wasted half your life. 805 01:23:50,220 --> 01:23:52,339 Pissed it away. 806 01:23:53,420 --> 01:23:57,459 You claim I don't know how the world works. 807 01:23:57,460 --> 01:24:02,139 You're the one who's forgotten how the world works. 808 01:24:17,460 --> 01:24:19,419 Don't touch me! 809 01:25:05,340 --> 01:25:10,019 Hi. We have an appointment with Christian Lunde. 810 01:25:29,340 --> 01:25:32,339 - Hey, Chris. - Hi, boss. 811 01:25:38,100 --> 01:25:39,979 How's it going? 812 01:25:41,060 --> 01:25:42,819 Fine. 813 01:25:45,260 --> 01:25:46,739 And with you? 814 01:25:54,980 --> 01:25:57,459 Let's go find the bathroom. 815 01:26:04,540 --> 01:26:07,259 Seriously? You and Maja? 816 01:26:08,300 --> 01:26:10,379 Pretty sick, huh? 817 01:26:11,940 --> 01:26:14,099 How did that happen? 818 01:26:14,100 --> 01:26:18,939 We argued for, like, three days. She didn't believe me, so... 819 01:26:18,940 --> 01:26:20,659 I proposed. 820 01:26:38,860 --> 01:26:41,579 So how are you really doing? 821 01:26:43,180 --> 01:26:45,259 The doctor thinks - 822 01:26:46,140 --> 01:26:49,379 - I should stay a couple more weeks. 823 01:26:49,380 --> 01:26:51,939 But... I am doing fine. 824 01:26:54,540 --> 01:26:57,299 Have you gotten some diagnosis? 825 01:26:57,300 --> 01:27:00,379 Just your average depression. 826 01:27:02,220 --> 01:27:04,939 24 out of 30 on the scale. 827 01:27:14,340 --> 01:27:16,859 Listen, I would never... 828 01:27:17,780 --> 01:27:21,579 I would never have pushed you if I had known... 829 01:27:23,260 --> 01:27:24,979 It's OK. 830 01:27:29,220 --> 01:27:31,899 You said lots of things that... 831 01:27:38,540 --> 01:27:40,579 I just wanted to... 832 01:27:42,060 --> 01:27:43,819 I don't know. 833 01:27:47,380 --> 01:27:50,259 I just want to apologize. 834 01:27:52,940 --> 01:27:54,619 Thank you. 835 01:27:57,340 --> 01:28:01,299 Anyway, I talked to our publisher. 836 01:28:01,300 --> 01:28:04,779 We decided to can the entire book. 837 01:28:04,780 --> 01:28:07,099 This is the last copy. 838 01:28:07,940 --> 01:28:10,899 Let me know, and I'll delete it. 839 01:28:10,900 --> 01:28:12,819 Could I have it? 840 01:28:16,020 --> 01:28:17,899 Are you sure? 841 01:28:17,900 --> 01:28:21,179 I thought it might be interesting. 842 01:28:24,020 --> 01:28:27,539 To see things from your perspective. 843 01:28:27,540 --> 01:28:31,379 Fuck it. Take it. Do with it as you please. 844 01:28:33,980 --> 01:28:35,299 Thanks. 845 01:28:35,300 --> 01:28:39,219 There's probably a lot of porn on there. 846 01:28:39,220 --> 01:28:42,219 I mean, we're talking shitloads. 847 01:28:42,220 --> 01:28:48,099 If you find any shemale stuff, that was downloaded ironically. 848 01:28:56,420 --> 01:29:00,739 Leo eventually found the woman of his dreams... 849 01:29:01,300 --> 01:29:04,819 A ten of spades and billionaire heiress. 850 01:29:08,260 --> 01:29:10,619 Stop, you little shit! 851 01:29:12,980 --> 01:29:18,659 Unfortunately her mother was also a solid nine of clubs. 852 01:29:24,020 --> 01:29:28,099 Leo insists he'll soon give up the single lifestyle. 853 01:29:32,740 --> 01:29:38,219 Karl got into architecture school and married Maja. 854 01:29:42,140 --> 01:29:48,219 Their love has blossomed since she became number 123. 855 01:29:52,660 --> 01:29:56,659 They have two daughters. 856 01:29:58,380 --> 01:30:04,219 To Karl's great relief, he believes he has spied lesbian tendencies. 857 01:30:12,980 --> 01:30:15,139 And Christian? 858 01:30:15,140 --> 01:30:17,139 Well... 859 01:30:19,980 --> 01:30:24,419 Our next guest wrote a book about Oslo's pickup scene. 860 01:30:24,420 --> 01:30:27,619 It has already sold over 100,000 copies. 861 01:30:27,620 --> 01:30:32,619 Please welcome social worker and author Christian Lunde! 862 01:30:38,380 --> 01:30:40,699 Hi there! 863 01:30:40,700 --> 01:30:42,659 Hi, Christian. Welcome! 864 01:30:46,300 --> 01:30:49,739 Hi. It's great to have you here. 865 01:30:49,740 --> 01:30:51,899 - How are you? - Great. 866 01:30:51,900 --> 01:30:55,739 You had some scores to settle with yourself. 867 01:30:55,740 --> 01:31:00,059 I sure did. It was the only right thing to do. 868 01:31:00,940 --> 01:31:04,539 I had scores to settle with myself. 869 01:31:04,540 --> 01:31:07,379 And with others who had been affected. 870 01:31:07,820 --> 01:31:10,699 It has to do with attraction... 871 01:31:10,700 --> 01:31:12,219 Christian? 872 01:31:12,580 --> 01:31:14,179 Christian! 873 01:31:14,900 --> 01:31:17,059 I'll call you back. 874 01:31:17,060 --> 01:31:19,259 - Hi. - Hi! 875 01:31:20,420 --> 01:31:23,139 - Long time, no see. - Truly. 876 01:31:23,140 --> 01:31:26,059 - And now you're on TV. - Yeah. 877 01:31:27,940 --> 01:31:30,299 - How are you? - I'm great. 878 01:31:30,300 --> 01:31:34,379 Listen, I have an appointment. It was great seeing you. 879 01:31:34,380 --> 01:31:37,619 Don't you have two minutes to talk to me? 880 01:31:37,620 --> 01:31:40,779 Was there something in particular? 881 01:31:40,780 --> 01:31:42,699 Not really. 882 01:31:42,700 --> 01:31:45,419 That is, I just... 883 01:31:46,060 --> 01:31:49,819 I've been wondering if you feel that I... 884 01:31:49,820 --> 01:31:54,179 Was I mean? Did I take advantage of you somehow? 885 01:31:54,580 --> 01:31:56,539 Listen. 886 01:31:56,540 --> 01:32:00,259 You have nothing to feel guilty about, OK? 887 01:32:00,260 --> 01:32:03,299 OK. That was a huge relief. 888 01:32:03,300 --> 01:32:08,459 Except that you're the reason I tried to commit suicide. 889 01:32:14,220 --> 01:32:18,619 You should have seen your face. See you later! 890 01:32:20,780 --> 01:32:23,699 Hey, Christian. Hang on! 891 01:32:24,980 --> 01:32:26,939 Where are you headed? 892 01:32:26,940 --> 01:32:30,739 Actually, what I'm doing is going home - 893 01:32:30,740 --> 01:32:33,379 - for a nice, long wank. 894 01:32:37,394 --> 01:32:40,394 Synced by Peterlin66824

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.