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1
00:00:21,460 --> 00:00:23,059
Hello?
2
00:00:24,980 --> 00:00:26,699
Are you Karl?
3
00:00:27,460 --> 00:00:29,419
I'm Christian.
4
00:00:31,180 --> 00:00:35,019
The guy from Stavanger.
Moving to Oslo.
5
00:00:36,500 --> 00:00:41,419
- Why are you moving to Oslo?
- To finish my sociology studies.
6
00:00:41,420 --> 00:00:44,219
Sure, but why are you moving?
7
00:00:45,460 --> 00:00:49,339
I guess I'm just tired
of living at home.
8
00:00:49,340 --> 00:00:51,619
Are you single?
9
00:00:51,620 --> 00:00:53,259
Am I...?
10
00:00:54,500 --> 00:00:56,179
Yes, I am.
11
00:00:57,220 --> 00:00:58,939
Are you gay?
12
00:01:02,540 --> 00:01:04,219
No, I'm not.
13
00:01:04,860 --> 00:01:07,699
You hesitated.
Are you sure?
14
00:01:08,380 --> 00:01:10,539
Yes, I'm positive.
15
00:01:10,540 --> 00:01:14,979
Move a little closer.
Let me look at your face.
16
00:01:17,540 --> 00:01:19,299
Cool.
17
00:01:20,620 --> 00:01:21,819
Hello?
18
00:01:21,820 --> 00:01:25,139
- Did you have a nice talk?
- Yes. Stop nagging!
19
00:01:25,140 --> 00:01:27,779
Where in Oslo are you staying?
20
00:01:27,780 --> 00:01:30,819
- I'm not sure.
- Not all parts are safe.
21
00:01:30,820 --> 00:01:33,019
What do you mean?
22
00:01:33,020 --> 00:01:36,139
- Do you have a rape alarm?
- Shut up!
23
00:01:40,340 --> 00:01:45,459
- Why are you going to Oslo?
- To study. How about you?
24
00:01:45,460 --> 00:01:49,739
I'm not going to Oslo. Are you crazy?
My little brother is.
25
00:01:49,740 --> 00:01:54,299
You should get better acquainted.
It's a long train ride.
26
00:01:54,300 --> 00:01:57,739
Just be yourself
and everything will be fine.
27
00:01:57,740 --> 00:01:59,579
I love you.
28
00:02:12,460 --> 00:02:14,099
- Hi.
- Hi.
29
00:02:14,900 --> 00:02:18,499
- Are you that guy's little brother?
- That's me.
30
00:02:18,500 --> 00:02:22,979
Do you think I could get
your brother's phone number?
31
00:02:22,980 --> 00:02:26,019
Yes. Of course.
Sure you can.
32
00:02:26,020 --> 00:02:29,579
- Thank you.
- That is not a problem.
33
00:02:29,580 --> 00:02:31,219
I got it!
34
00:02:45,380 --> 00:02:47,299
- Hi.
- Hi.
35
00:02:48,820 --> 00:02:52,859
- Is this where Karl lives?
- Who's asking?
36
00:02:53,300 --> 00:02:56,979
Christian.
I think I'm moving in here.
37
00:02:58,780 --> 00:03:00,139
Hi there.
Leo.
38
00:03:01,860 --> 00:03:04,379
You're just in time.
39
00:03:04,820 --> 00:03:08,699
- Is that for me?
- Sorry, no. It's for Karl.
40
00:03:08,700 --> 00:03:12,779
- Is it his birthday?
- Write "100" on that.
41
00:03:19,020 --> 00:03:22,019
- Red towel means "help."
- Is he with someone?
42
00:03:22,500 --> 00:03:23,739
Open it.
43
00:03:23,740 --> 00:03:27,699
We can't open the door!
What if they're...?
44
00:03:34,660 --> 00:03:36,819
Congratulations!
45
00:03:36,820 --> 00:03:40,699
Leo, you didn't have to bake a cake!
46
00:03:40,700 --> 00:03:42,499
Hey, boss.
47
00:03:42,500 --> 00:03:44,579
Say hi to...
48
00:03:44,580 --> 00:03:47,379
You, say hi to Christian.
49
00:03:49,460 --> 00:03:51,819
Christian.
Nice to meet you.
50
00:03:51,820 --> 00:03:54,419
- The hats!
- Right.
51
00:03:54,420 --> 00:03:56,339
Cool!
52
00:03:57,300 --> 00:03:59,299
Don't forget to blow.
53
00:04:01,060 --> 00:04:04,059
Is it your birthday, or what?
54
00:04:07,300 --> 00:04:10,779
- Karl, aren't you late for work?
- Shit!
55
00:04:10,780 --> 00:04:13,539
I'm a huge fan.
I love you.
56
00:04:20,780 --> 00:04:22,659
See you later.
57
00:04:33,420 --> 00:04:36,739
Have you seriously had sex
with 100 women?
58
00:04:36,740 --> 00:04:39,459
- Did you catch her name?
- Cake lady.
59
00:04:39,460 --> 00:04:42,179
Looks: 7.
Sex: 5.
60
00:04:42,180 --> 00:04:44,499
She was a club, I think.
Give me a seven of clubs.
61
00:04:44,500 --> 00:04:47,499
I think you've used them up.
Hang on.
62
00:04:48,060 --> 00:04:50,939
100 women?
How many kids do you have?
63
00:04:50,940 --> 00:04:52,699
On a scale of 1 to 10:
64
00:04:52,700 --> 00:04:55,339
How hairy are your balls?
65
00:04:55,340 --> 00:04:59,059
- Huh?
- How many women have you fucked?
66
00:04:59,060 --> 00:05:03,099
- Does that matter?
- We'll still love you.
67
00:05:03,100 --> 00:05:04,459
Five...
68
00:05:04,460 --> 00:05:06,419
Six...
69
00:05:06,420 --> 00:05:08,259
...thousand.
70
00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:18,379
Your doorbell doesn't work.
When I pushed the buzzer and tried...
71
00:05:18,380 --> 00:05:22,819
Cool story, bro.
We were talking about fucking.
72
00:05:22,820 --> 00:05:26,259
OK, so fucking
is all you talk about here?
73
00:05:26,260 --> 00:05:30,939
Freud said that's all people talk
about. We're just honest about it.
74
00:05:30,940 --> 00:05:34,539
What about you, Leo?
Does that apply to you too?
75
00:05:34,540 --> 00:05:40,019
You've been duped your entire life.
Girls don't want boys like you.
76
00:05:40,020 --> 00:05:43,539
But you're our roommate,
so we'll help you.
77
00:05:43,540 --> 00:05:48,179
The women won the battle of the sexes.
They call all the shots.
78
00:05:48,180 --> 00:05:52,179
Sorry,
but we have to shave your balls now.
79
00:05:53,540 --> 00:05:56,179
Christian!
Christian...
80
00:05:58,620 --> 00:06:00,379
He seems nice.
81
00:06:01,220 --> 00:06:02,779
Son of a bitch!
82
00:06:02,780 --> 00:06:06,579
CRACK, BACK & SACK
83
00:06:38,660 --> 00:06:42,539
You will be presented
with certain methods -
84
00:06:42,540 --> 00:06:45,659
- and what those methods are based on.
85
00:06:45,660 --> 00:06:49,379
And you will also learn
about scientific writing.
86
00:06:49,900 --> 00:06:52,819
How do we write scientific papers?
87
00:06:54,020 --> 00:06:58,819
In other words,
your final thesis should focus on...
88
00:07:06,620 --> 00:07:10,099
OK?
Is that clear to everyone?
89
00:07:11,100 --> 00:07:13,939
There are mandatory activities...
90
00:07:36,780 --> 00:07:39,419
- Please...
- Problem?
91
00:07:39,420 --> 00:07:43,259
- It doesn't work!
- Is this your bachelor thesis?
92
00:07:43,260 --> 00:07:48,099
No, but I have four minutes
to get this in, or I'll fail.
93
00:07:51,860 --> 00:07:54,579
Thank you!
You're my hero!
94
00:07:54,580 --> 00:07:56,619
All I need is a white steed.
95
00:07:56,620 --> 00:07:59,059
- Were you here last year?
- No.
96
00:07:59,060 --> 00:08:02,059
This is my first semester in Oslo.
97
00:08:02,060 --> 00:08:05,619
- I live with...
- Sorry, I have to go.
98
00:08:05,620 --> 00:08:09,899
But we're going out for beers
at The Owlery later.
99
00:08:09,900 --> 00:08:12,059
- Christian.
- Hi. Mylian.
100
00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:15,179
- Miriam?
- No. Mylian.
101
00:08:15,180 --> 00:08:18,259
- Mylian.
- See you later. I have to run.
102
00:08:21,180 --> 00:08:23,979
- You got a new job?
- At a nursing home.
103
00:08:23,980 --> 00:08:29,899
- I didn't know that. How is it?
- Fine. But those old folks are insane.
104
00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:31,459
Cool.
105
00:08:38,860 --> 00:08:40,579
Cheers.
106
00:08:50,140 --> 00:08:52,099
- Hi.
- Hi.
107
00:08:56,980 --> 00:08:59,419
- What is this?
- Cake.
108
00:09:00,060 --> 00:09:05,779
Congratulations. You are now
officially Oslo's biggest asshole.
109
00:09:05,780 --> 00:09:08,459
- Was it magical?
- Don't be jealous.
110
00:09:08,460 --> 00:09:10,659
Chris, come here!
111
00:09:14,260 --> 00:09:18,779
- "Feed the goat"?
- What happens if you don't feed it?
112
00:09:18,780 --> 00:09:23,579
- It gets hungry?
- First, yes. And then it dies.
113
00:09:23,580 --> 00:09:27,219
But don't worry.
Goats are omnivorous.
114
00:09:27,220 --> 00:09:30,579
- We're going out.
- Sorry, I have to read.
115
00:09:30,580 --> 00:09:32,139
Awesome!
116
00:09:32,140 --> 00:09:36,459
Our new roommate
is an asexual academic.
117
00:09:36,460 --> 00:09:41,859
I like that you label me as asexual
because I haven't slept with...
118
00:09:42,660 --> 00:09:47,539
- A thousand million women.
- It isn't about the number.
119
00:09:48,220 --> 00:09:51,379
OK, you got me there.
It is about the number.
120
00:09:51,380 --> 00:09:56,379
But it's also about radiating
sexuality. Look at me, Christian.
121
00:09:56,380 --> 00:09:58,019
Look at this!
122
00:09:58,620 --> 00:10:03,059
I sweat fucking orgies!
Come on, take a whiff.
123
00:10:03,060 --> 00:10:07,419
- No, I'm not going to smell you.
- Come on. I sweat pussy.
124
00:10:07,420 --> 00:10:09,859
- Want to see my dick?
- No.
125
00:10:09,860 --> 00:10:14,379
- I love showing off my dick.
- I don't doubt it.
126
00:10:14,380 --> 00:10:17,059
- Just look down.
- No.
127
00:10:17,060 --> 00:10:20,219
- And there it is.
- Please come out!
128
00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:23,299
You could have
one chick licking your balls -
129
00:10:23,300 --> 00:10:27,299
- and one with your "nose"
in her mouth.
130
00:10:27,300 --> 00:10:29,739
- Please come out with me!
- No.
131
00:10:29,740 --> 00:10:31,579
Fucking loser!
132
00:10:32,380 --> 00:10:35,339
You are the perfect candidate.
133
00:10:36,180 --> 00:10:37,739
For what?
134
00:10:37,740 --> 00:10:42,619
If you do everything I tell you
for the next half year, -
135
00:10:42,620 --> 00:10:46,739
- you can easily reach 123.
- What's that mean?
136
00:10:47,540 --> 00:10:52,339
Casanova shared his cock
with a total of 122 women.
137
00:10:52,340 --> 00:10:56,059
So Karl's goal in life
is to ravish 123 women.
138
00:10:56,060 --> 00:10:57,619
Fuck yeah!
139
00:10:57,620 --> 00:11:02,699
Is it possible to get AIDS
more than once? Like double-AIDS?
140
00:11:02,700 --> 00:11:08,259
- Let it out, Chris. I've been there.
- I haven't known you that long.
141
00:11:08,260 --> 00:11:14,099
But I think you have used all your
energy to fuck as much as possible.
142
00:11:14,100 --> 00:11:16,859
I don't think you've slept with 100.
143
00:11:16,860 --> 00:11:21,019
By New Year's Eve, I'm going
to celebrate that 123 women -
144
00:11:21,020 --> 00:11:23,979
- have been swept away
by The Package.
145
00:11:24,460 --> 00:11:26,779
And if you want, -
146
00:11:26,780 --> 00:11:30,299
- we can make a deal
right here and fucking now:
147
00:11:30,620 --> 00:11:35,019
If you do everything I say
for the next five months, -
148
00:11:35,020 --> 00:11:40,619
- I'll turn you into a man women
want to share their sexuality with.
149
00:11:40,620 --> 00:11:45,219
OK, so basically I'll be your slave
for a half year...
150
00:11:45,220 --> 00:11:48,939
- Imagine how much you'll learn!
- Sorry, bro.
151
00:11:48,940 --> 00:11:51,019
Chris, come on.
Chris!
152
00:11:52,900 --> 00:11:54,899
Imagine the power!
153
00:11:56,020 --> 00:12:00,099
- What did he say?
- "Imagine the power, Christian!"
154
00:12:00,100 --> 00:12:03,979
I think he loves this image of himself
as a sex god.
155
00:12:04,300 --> 00:12:06,419
And you?
156
00:12:06,420 --> 00:12:11,139
- What about me?
- Do you want to be seen as a sex god?
157
00:12:12,420 --> 00:12:17,299
I happen to be an atheist,
so I don't believe in gods.
158
00:12:17,300 --> 00:12:20,299
But that's a stupid answer.
159
00:12:20,660 --> 00:12:22,299
Honest answer.
160
00:12:23,260 --> 00:12:26,139
Seriously?
Yes. I do.
161
00:12:26,140 --> 00:12:27,499
You do?
162
00:12:28,460 --> 00:12:31,739
You want me to view you
as a sex god?
163
00:12:32,380 --> 00:12:33,979
Why?
164
00:12:37,820 --> 00:12:42,459
According to Aristotle,
being sexually active is a virtue.
165
00:12:42,460 --> 00:12:45,219
So according to virtue ethics...
166
00:12:45,220 --> 00:12:48,259
Come on,
no sneaky philosophical answers.
167
00:12:48,260 --> 00:12:53,259
A sneaky question deserves
a sneaky answer. Tit for tat.
168
00:12:54,540 --> 00:12:58,299
Are you coming to The Owlery tonight?
169
00:12:58,300 --> 00:13:00,899
I was planning on reading.
170
00:13:01,580 --> 00:13:03,019
Are you going?
171
00:13:03,020 --> 00:13:05,059
Yes.
With you.
172
00:13:08,100 --> 00:13:11,419
- All right. Maybe.
- Not maybe. Join me.
173
00:13:12,820 --> 00:13:18,019
And I'll tell all my girlfriends
what a sex god you are.
174
00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:21,459
They already know.
175
00:13:21,460 --> 00:13:24,299
I sent out a group e-mail.
176
00:13:24,300 --> 00:13:29,059
If you have any intention
of passing on your genes, be careful.
177
00:13:29,060 --> 00:13:33,299
"Mylian" sounds like something
from Lord of the Rings.
178
00:13:33,300 --> 00:13:38,019
I hereby forbid you to think
about Mulan... Mylian... Muliano.
179
00:13:38,380 --> 00:13:41,859
- Why?
- Because you like her.
180
00:13:41,860 --> 00:13:45,379
I can't talk to her
because I like her?
181
00:13:45,380 --> 00:13:50,059
Like her as much as you want,
just stop caring so much.
182
00:13:51,060 --> 00:13:54,779
Mylion... Muylita... Muyliano...
183
00:13:55,900 --> 00:13:59,379
Sounds like a French porn actress.
184
00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:01,659
She may not even like me.
185
00:14:04,020 --> 00:14:08,059
Can we talk about something else?
Forget it!
186
00:14:08,060 --> 00:14:11,019
Don't worry.
They'll calm down, mom.
187
00:14:34,860 --> 00:14:36,619
Dick or sack?
188
00:14:36,620 --> 00:14:39,099
- What?
- Dick or sack?
189
00:14:41,380 --> 00:14:42,859
- Sack?
- Dick.
190
00:14:42,860 --> 00:14:44,979
- It was dick.
- OK.
191
00:14:53,740 --> 00:14:55,579
Dick or sack?
192
00:14:57,940 --> 00:15:00,019
Sack.
193
00:15:00,020 --> 00:15:02,739
- What the hell is that?
- Huh?
194
00:15:02,740 --> 00:15:06,859
What is that?
Your dick is supposed to be a reward.
195
00:15:06,860 --> 00:15:09,619
That looks like a fucking punishment.
196
00:15:09,620 --> 00:15:11,259
Dick or sack?
197
00:15:12,220 --> 00:15:14,019
- Dick.
- Sack.
198
00:15:14,020 --> 00:15:18,859
People go out to get pussy.
We go out to give dick.
199
00:15:20,580 --> 00:15:22,539
- Hello, boys.
- Hi!
200
00:15:22,540 --> 00:15:25,339
- This is Christian.
- Elisa.
201
00:15:25,340 --> 00:15:30,579
He may seem shy, but once you get
his clothes off, he's a monster.
202
00:15:30,580 --> 00:15:32,739
Like the Hulk?
203
00:15:32,740 --> 00:15:36,419
I like to call myself
the Incredible Spunk.
204
00:15:40,020 --> 00:15:42,419
That was really bad.
205
00:15:46,140 --> 00:15:49,299
Chicks consider me
a good lay, period.
206
00:15:49,300 --> 00:15:54,419
We don't realize that you're
just using us as hot sex objects.
207
00:15:55,260 --> 00:15:58,019
Let me know if you feel abused.
208
00:15:58,020 --> 00:16:00,459
Don't you worry about that.
209
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:03,019
Nobody can abuse the Spunk.
210
00:16:05,300 --> 00:16:08,539
- Are you all right?
- Yes. I'm fine.
211
00:16:09,300 --> 00:16:13,379
But you really have to stop
saying Spunk.
212
00:16:13,380 --> 00:16:16,099
I'll do my best.
213
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:20,339
- Elisa, where are we going?
- It's your party.
214
00:16:20,340 --> 00:16:25,019
Let's go to The Owlery.
Good prices, good people.
215
00:16:25,020 --> 00:16:28,979
Fuck it!
The Party Prince has spoken.
216
00:16:28,980 --> 00:16:31,259
One last round of champagne?
217
00:16:59,140 --> 00:17:01,139
- Has she called?
- Huh?
218
00:17:01,140 --> 00:17:03,539
- Has she called?
- No, not yet.
219
00:17:03,540 --> 00:17:08,979
- Have you texted her?
- Three times. She hasn't responded.
220
00:17:09,540 --> 00:17:13,979
Trust me. Don't send any more.
You'll just seem pushy.
221
00:17:13,980 --> 00:17:16,099
Now you sound like Karl.
222
00:17:16,100 --> 00:17:20,819
I hate to admit it,
but sometimes he's actually right.
223
00:17:24,500 --> 00:17:26,019
Fuck it.
224
00:17:26,020 --> 00:17:28,379
- I'm leaving.
- No, no!
225
00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:33,739
Do you realize how easy it is to hook
up here? These hippies are starving.
226
00:17:33,740 --> 00:17:36,099
- Some other time.
- I'm serious!
227
00:17:36,100 --> 00:17:40,379
They don't care if your balls aren't
shaved, as long as your face is.
228
00:17:40,380 --> 00:17:43,979
Some other time.
I'll see you later.
229
00:17:43,980 --> 00:17:46,699
- Christian...
- See you later.
230
00:17:48,020 --> 00:17:52,339
Chris, could you bring Elisa home?
She has to get to bed.
231
00:17:52,340 --> 00:17:56,899
- Bring Elisa home, Christian.
- I don't want to get puked on.
232
00:17:56,900 --> 00:17:59,659
Fuck you!
What time is it?
233
00:18:09,460 --> 00:18:12,859
I'm OK.
I can take your shoes.
234
00:18:12,860 --> 00:18:16,819
- Up you go!
- You're a good person.
235
00:18:21,020 --> 00:18:24,219
You aren't going to rape me, are you?
236
00:18:24,220 --> 00:18:28,139
No, I am definitely not
going to rape you.
237
00:18:28,140 --> 00:18:30,939
- Come on.
- That's swell of you.
238
00:18:31,700 --> 00:18:34,219
Can you make it from here?
239
00:18:34,220 --> 00:18:36,979
- Great. OK. Bye.
- Bye.
240
00:20:26,180 --> 00:20:28,099
Rise and shine, Karl!
241
00:20:28,100 --> 00:20:32,619
Oh, shit. My alarm didn't ring.
I have to get to work.
242
00:20:36,740 --> 00:20:38,739
See you later.
243
00:20:47,140 --> 00:20:48,819
You live here?
244
00:20:49,980 --> 00:20:51,779
Were you...
245
00:20:53,300 --> 00:20:57,019
- Were you out late last night?
- Yeah.
246
00:20:57,020 --> 00:20:59,059
Real late.
247
00:21:03,020 --> 00:21:07,379
Are you hungry?
I could make some chicken.
248
00:21:07,380 --> 00:21:11,179
No thanks, I'm not that hungry.
I should leave.
249
00:21:11,580 --> 00:21:13,859
Do you have all your things?
250
00:21:14,780 --> 00:21:16,419
But...
251
00:21:18,540 --> 00:21:20,779
- See you later?
- Yeah.
252
00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:22,899
I'll give you a call, OK?
253
00:21:40,460 --> 00:21:42,139
She was cute.
254
00:21:43,980 --> 00:21:46,259
So fucking -
255
00:21:46,820 --> 00:21:48,859
- tight.
256
00:21:50,620 --> 00:21:54,779
- But not worthy of breakfast?
- She snored.
257
00:21:54,780 --> 00:22:00,899
Or, she made these sleeping sounds.
Some sort of weird breathing.
258
00:22:00,900 --> 00:22:02,939
What was her name?
259
00:22:04,420 --> 00:22:05,819
I can't remember.
260
00:22:06,260 --> 00:22:08,099
Just feeding the goat.
261
00:22:09,700 --> 00:22:11,739
She was hot.
262
00:22:11,740 --> 00:22:14,219
A little boring in bed.
263
00:23:00,220 --> 00:23:01,619
Dick or sack?
264
00:23:03,340 --> 00:23:05,259
- Dick.
- Nope.
265
00:23:06,780 --> 00:23:09,419
- Of course it is.
- Nope.
266
00:23:30,820 --> 00:23:32,979
- OK.
- What?
267
00:23:32,980 --> 00:23:35,459
- I'm in.
- In on what?
268
00:23:35,460 --> 00:23:37,139
Teach me.
269
00:23:38,220 --> 00:23:41,339
- It'll be hectic.
- And painful.
270
00:23:41,340 --> 00:23:46,579
Nagging, grumpy neighbors,
hangovers... It'll be legendary!
271
00:23:46,580 --> 00:23:52,099
Are you ready to become a charming
asshole that girls want to sleep with?
272
00:23:52,100 --> 00:23:54,179
You bet your ass!
273
00:23:54,700 --> 00:23:59,019
- Ouch! Shit!
- We are a low caste, but we rebel.
274
00:23:59,020 --> 00:24:03,379
The Oslo and Surrounding Area
Fucking Caste.
275
00:24:04,100 --> 00:24:06,179
One day, Chris...
276
00:24:06,180 --> 00:24:09,139
One day this will all be yours.
277
00:24:17,220 --> 00:24:20,699
- The first girl you had sex with?
- Susann.
278
00:24:20,700 --> 00:24:24,139
- We had sex on a slope.
- Susann.
279
00:24:24,140 --> 00:24:28,939
- She screwed Terje the same night.
- Fuck her. She's probably obese now.
280
00:24:28,940 --> 00:24:33,139
The second time, are you sure
there was full penetration?
281
00:24:33,140 --> 00:24:35,539
Pretty sure.
I think.
282
00:24:35,540 --> 00:24:39,299
The head of your penis inside
at least once?
283
00:24:39,300 --> 00:24:42,379
- I'm pretty sure it was.
- Pimp!
284
00:24:47,420 --> 00:24:49,939
That's pretty impressive.
285
00:24:49,940 --> 00:24:55,299
Don't worry.
By New Year's you'll be way up here.
286
00:24:55,300 --> 00:25:00,099
- I can guarantee at least five.
- Three more? In three months?
287
00:25:00,100 --> 00:25:05,219
Before New Year's
you'll be at five and I'll be at 123.
288
00:25:08,700 --> 00:25:10,699
What's on your mind?
289
00:25:11,300 --> 00:25:16,659
This may sound stupid, but what
happened to just "being yourself"?
290
00:25:18,260 --> 00:25:22,859
OK, Chris, your mother raised you
to be nice and sweet.
291
00:25:23,340 --> 00:25:29,019
And worst of all, to be yourself.
What if "yourself" isn't good enough?
292
00:25:29,020 --> 00:25:33,699
What if "yourself"
is a boring, ugly nerd?
293
00:25:33,700 --> 00:25:37,139
If you smell bad, take a shower.
294
00:25:37,140 --> 00:25:41,179
If there's a dead whore
in your living room, get rid of her.
295
00:25:41,180 --> 00:25:44,099
Adaptation is as natural as evolution.
296
00:25:44,100 --> 00:25:50,299
"Yourself" is a term for losers
who sit at home whacking off. Agreed?
297
00:25:50,300 --> 00:25:52,499
- Yes.
- Pimp.
298
00:25:53,260 --> 00:25:55,099
For starters:
299
00:25:55,100 --> 00:26:00,059
It's essential that you control
every social situation.
300
00:26:00,420 --> 00:26:05,539
It helps if you're wealthy
or have a magical penis like Leo, -
301
00:26:05,540 --> 00:26:09,779
- but all it comes down to
is how you communicate.
302
00:26:09,780 --> 00:26:15,579
Most girls think that a set number
of boys are their perfect match.
303
00:26:15,580 --> 00:26:19,219
And that's fine.
We can take advantage of that.
304
00:26:19,220 --> 00:26:25,339
Get as close to her physically
as possible, without it being awkward.
305
00:26:25,340 --> 00:26:31,059
You're a little too close to Leo now,
but look how close I am to you.
306
00:26:31,060 --> 00:26:35,179
With indirect body language,
I can get much closer.
307
00:26:35,180 --> 00:26:39,699
But what if I go like this?
"Hey, can I buy you a drink?"
308
00:26:39,700 --> 00:26:43,819
- Touch everyone, even boys.
- You mean grope?
309
00:26:43,820 --> 00:26:47,979
No, don't grope.
Create physical closeness.
310
00:26:47,980 --> 00:26:51,019
Always touch them in a natural manner.
311
00:26:51,020 --> 00:26:54,579
She'll never want you
to play with her pussy, -
312
00:26:54,580 --> 00:26:59,019
- unless you've played with
her arms and shoulders first.
313
00:26:59,620 --> 00:27:05,299
Analyze who they are with.
All other boys are considered enemies.
314
00:27:05,300 --> 00:27:09,299
More on that later.
What do you see over there?
315
00:27:09,300 --> 00:27:10,979
- Two girls.
- Wrong.
316
00:27:10,980 --> 00:27:14,299
A hot girl with an ugly girlfriend.
317
00:27:19,340 --> 00:27:22,019
Ready?
What's she look like?
318
00:27:22,020 --> 00:27:25,059
Huh? Right.
She has a white shirt...
319
00:27:25,060 --> 00:27:27,979
Wrong!
She's naked on top of you!
320
00:27:41,420 --> 00:27:45,499
Hi, you look great!
How's it going?
321
00:27:45,500 --> 00:27:47,499
How do you know Karl?
322
00:27:47,500 --> 00:27:49,099
Who?
323
00:27:54,380 --> 00:27:59,299
Three-second rule: Talk to someone
you like within three seconds.
324
00:27:59,300 --> 00:28:03,419
- What should I say?
- It's all about the delivery.
325
00:28:06,940 --> 00:28:11,339
Hi! This is my roommate.
The coolest guy in the world.
326
00:28:11,340 --> 00:28:12,819
Hi.
Tove.
327
00:28:12,820 --> 00:28:17,179
Tove is a nurse,
but she's terrified of shots.
328
00:28:17,180 --> 00:28:18,859
Cool!
329
00:28:22,020 --> 00:28:25,059
So... why are you so afraid of shots?
330
00:28:27,220 --> 00:28:30,859
I probably got scared
when I was a kid, or something.
331
00:28:30,860 --> 00:28:34,379
- We aren't actually roommates.
- Who?
332
00:28:34,380 --> 00:28:37,099
Me and...
Me and Karl.
333
00:28:37,100 --> 00:28:41,939
I mean, we live together.
In the same apartment.
334
00:28:42,540 --> 00:28:46,659
That is, I moved in.
From Stavanger.
335
00:28:46,820 --> 00:28:49,459
You have beautiful eyes.
336
00:28:49,940 --> 00:28:51,739
Thank you.
337
00:28:51,740 --> 00:28:54,019
I'm a little thirsty.
338
00:28:57,300 --> 00:28:59,859
- What would you like?
- Strawberry daiquiri.
339
00:28:59,860 --> 00:29:02,739
One strawberry daggery.
340
00:29:03,300 --> 00:29:07,899
I was wondering.
Could I have your phone number?
341
00:29:07,900 --> 00:29:10,939
- I don't know...
- You have a boyfriend?
342
00:29:10,940 --> 00:29:12,499
- No.
- You don't?
343
00:29:13,820 --> 00:29:15,459
Come on.
344
00:29:15,860 --> 00:29:17,579
Let's have it.
345
00:29:22,140 --> 00:29:23,899
But...
346
00:29:23,900 --> 00:29:29,259
I have to work early tomorrow.
I should probably get going.
347
00:29:33,380 --> 00:29:37,699
- What was that?
- A free drink and some attention.
348
00:29:37,700 --> 00:29:40,619
- Never start by buying them a drink.
- I didn't!
349
00:29:40,620 --> 00:29:41,939
You did.
350
00:29:41,940 --> 00:29:46,859
She just lumped you together
with the rest of the goats.
351
00:29:46,860 --> 00:29:51,299
You elevated her way above you.
She should buy you a drink.
352
00:29:53,900 --> 00:29:55,979
- How did it go?
- I got her number.
353
00:29:55,980 --> 00:29:57,899
Let me see!
354
00:30:01,100 --> 00:30:04,259
What did you do?
What should I say?
355
00:30:04,260 --> 00:30:07,379
Say hi.
Invite her up here, or something.
356
00:30:07,380 --> 00:30:09,059
Hello?
357
00:30:11,500 --> 00:30:15,059
- What happened?
- It was an old folks' home.
358
00:30:15,060 --> 00:30:19,579
- It was the night watchman.
- Don't worry about it.
359
00:30:19,980 --> 00:30:23,819
She's a nurse.
It was probably her work number.
360
00:30:33,540 --> 00:30:38,219
Holy crap, Karl!
You still have your dildo collection?
361
00:30:38,220 --> 00:30:40,419
I told you I did.
362
00:30:40,420 --> 00:30:44,219
This is Nils.
This is Johnny, who resembles Leo's.
363
00:30:44,220 --> 00:30:47,139
Flicky, and Big Jim.
364
00:30:48,220 --> 00:30:49,979
Perfect.
365
00:30:55,740 --> 00:30:59,259
Leo's about to fuck that girl.
366
00:30:59,260 --> 00:31:02,819
Hearing other people have sex
makes chicks horny.
367
00:31:02,820 --> 00:31:05,619
That's when we strike.
I'll take Guro.
368
00:31:05,620 --> 00:31:09,339
That Filipino chick goes crazy
once she's naked.
369
00:31:09,340 --> 00:31:10,899
Or so I've heard.
370
00:31:10,900 --> 00:31:13,099
- Are you in?
- Sure.
371
00:31:18,860 --> 00:31:20,659
Here we go!
372
00:32:02,060 --> 00:32:05,859
Imagine if we ended up
on a desert island.
373
00:32:05,860 --> 00:32:10,619
That would suck.
I have to leave now. See you later.
374
00:32:20,060 --> 00:32:25,299
- How long before you go over to her?
- Three seconds tops.
375
00:32:25,300 --> 00:32:27,779
And if she asks for a drink?
376
00:32:27,780 --> 00:32:31,659
Politely decline,
and try to get her to buy me one.
377
00:32:31,660 --> 00:32:35,699
Excellent.
We've fed you a lot of information.
378
00:32:35,700 --> 00:32:40,459
All that's important now,
is that you're totally relaxed.
379
00:32:59,180 --> 00:33:01,659
- Hi!
- Hi.
380
00:33:17,540 --> 00:33:20,539
- Sorry.
- Don't worry about it.
381
00:33:20,540 --> 00:33:23,419
I didn't know what to say.
382
00:33:25,380 --> 00:33:27,779
- Hi, I'm Leo.
- Hi, Leo.
383
00:33:27,780 --> 00:33:31,579
- Have you met Christian?
- Hi. Christian.
384
00:33:31,580 --> 00:33:34,739
We went to
music kindergarten together.
385
00:33:34,740 --> 00:33:39,419
He's the only person I know
who plays rhythm sticks off-key.
386
00:33:39,420 --> 00:33:41,019
Feed the goat.
387
00:33:41,020 --> 00:33:45,619
Leo played this little mini guitar
while I sang.
388
00:33:45,620 --> 00:33:50,499
The kindergarten teachers
threw their bras at us.
389
00:33:50,500 --> 00:33:53,939
- What did you want to become?
- A stewardess.
390
00:34:02,020 --> 00:34:05,099
- What was that?
- That can happen to anyone.
391
00:34:05,100 --> 00:34:06,539
What do I do now?
392
00:34:10,420 --> 00:34:13,459
- Fuck it. Take her back.
- Are you nuts?
393
00:34:13,460 --> 00:34:17,979
Trust me.
Just go right over there and kiss her.
394
00:34:17,980 --> 00:34:21,539
- Are you sure...
- Shut up. Go for the kiss.
395
00:34:36,860 --> 00:34:41,259
What the hell do you think
you're doing, snail dick?
396
00:34:43,980 --> 00:34:45,819
Good work, boss!
397
00:34:50,220 --> 00:34:52,139
What the hell?
398
00:34:53,140 --> 00:34:58,499
- Hang on, let me kill this faggot.
- He's with me. I told him to do it.
399
00:34:58,500 --> 00:35:01,019
Really?
Nice to meet you.
400
00:35:01,860 --> 00:35:04,939
I'm The Punisher.
Let's get a drink.
401
00:35:09,940 --> 00:35:12,259
Karl may seem cynical.
402
00:35:12,700 --> 00:35:17,859
But compared to The Punisher
he's a study in refined style.
403
00:35:17,860 --> 00:35:23,699
That goat has a constant hard-on.
He won't stop until he gets laid.
404
00:35:24,620 --> 00:35:27,619
And when he eventually does score, -
405
00:35:27,620 --> 00:35:31,179
- he always tries
to butt-fuck the girl.
406
00:35:31,180 --> 00:35:34,779
He feels they deserve it
for playing hard to get.
407
00:35:34,780 --> 00:35:37,779
Thus the name, The Punisher.
408
00:35:42,420 --> 00:35:44,659
It's a fucking war out there.
409
00:35:44,660 --> 00:35:46,539
A war?
410
00:35:46,540 --> 00:35:48,459
- Hi there!
- Hi!
411
00:35:48,460 --> 00:35:51,299
It's great to see you again.
412
00:35:51,300 --> 00:35:54,539
Last time was a little embarrassing.
413
00:35:54,540 --> 00:35:58,219
You have nothing
to be embarrassed about.
414
00:35:58,220 --> 00:36:02,299
But you did propose to me,
so we are engaged.
415
00:36:02,860 --> 00:36:04,739
You said yes?
416
00:36:04,740 --> 00:36:08,219
Nyah.
I said I'd think about it.
417
00:36:08,220 --> 00:36:11,779
- Hi. Good to see you again.
- Hi!
418
00:36:11,780 --> 00:36:14,899
- Hi. Line.
- Hi. Kine.
419
00:36:14,900 --> 00:36:17,859
- Kine and Trine?
- Kine and Line.
420
00:36:17,860 --> 00:36:19,939
Gotta keep my dick straight.
421
00:38:55,300 --> 00:38:56,979
Hey...
422
00:38:58,180 --> 00:39:00,219
Is it OK if we just...
423
00:39:00,220 --> 00:39:02,579
Sure.
Of course.
424
00:40:03,420 --> 00:40:08,539
I'm not the type to stick my finger
up girls' asses on the dance floor.
425
00:40:08,540 --> 00:40:12,419
The Punisher's just messing around.
426
00:40:12,420 --> 00:40:17,899
Why do girls go home with cavemen
who use their dicks like clubs?
427
00:40:18,340 --> 00:40:20,019
I don't get it.
428
00:40:20,940 --> 00:40:24,539
Aren't you working on
a degree in sociology?
429
00:40:24,540 --> 00:40:28,379
You're the scholar here.
Figure it out.
430
00:40:41,980 --> 00:40:44,299
Equal rights in Norway
431
00:41:02,380 --> 00:41:04,979
"My Crack, Back & Shaven Sack."
432
00:41:04,980 --> 00:41:08,619
"The division of power
between the sexes -
433
00:41:08,620 --> 00:41:11,219
- in today's post-feminist society."
434
00:41:11,220 --> 00:41:16,619
- What's it about?
- It's about living in Norway in 2013.
435
00:41:17,620 --> 00:41:19,059
With a penis.
436
00:41:20,060 --> 00:41:21,939
Is that a bad thing?
437
00:41:21,940 --> 00:41:26,579
In Norway today, women live
five years longer than men.
438
00:41:26,580 --> 00:41:29,739
Nine out of ten jail inmates are men.
439
00:41:29,740 --> 00:41:33,419
Three of four suicides.
We have military service.
440
00:41:33,420 --> 00:41:38,539
Men are overrepresented when
it comes to accidents, drowning, -
441
00:41:38,540 --> 00:41:40,619
- drunkenness, depression.
442
00:41:40,620 --> 00:41:44,939
In nine of ten divorces,
the women get the children.
443
00:41:44,940 --> 00:41:48,939
Women get better grades than men
in 90 %% of courses.
444
00:41:48,940 --> 00:41:53,019
And women have all the power
in the gender market.
445
00:41:53,020 --> 00:41:58,699
- We were oppressed for 60,000 years.
- But I'm talking about today.
446
00:41:59,260 --> 00:42:03,339
- So now you're the oppressed ones?
- Yes.
447
00:42:03,340 --> 00:42:07,579
Everyone can see it, but women
are still portrayed as the victims.
448
00:42:07,580 --> 00:42:10,899
Just because
there are fewer female leaders.
449
00:42:10,900 --> 00:42:13,059
So why are fewer leaders female?
450
00:42:13,060 --> 00:42:19,659
Because being the CEO of Statoil is
a shit job that no one really wants.
451
00:42:19,660 --> 00:42:22,699
Unless you're a narcissistic bastard
that loves pussy.
452
00:42:22,700 --> 00:42:24,659
- And money.
- And power.
453
00:42:24,660 --> 00:42:27,779
And what do you use that
money and power for?
454
00:42:27,780 --> 00:42:32,019
To drink champagne out of the ass
of some hot heiress.
455
00:42:32,020 --> 00:42:37,059
I'm not sure it's as lopsided
as you make it sound.
456
00:42:37,060 --> 00:42:40,739
Chris,
tonight I'm taking you to Nirvana.
457
00:42:52,900 --> 00:42:58,219
Are we picking up lesbians?
This place is full of homos.
458
00:42:58,220 --> 00:43:02,899
Relax. Savor the atmosphere.
How many desperate men do you see?
459
00:43:02,900 --> 00:43:07,899
How many grumpy girls
yelling at some guy for making a move?
460
00:43:09,860 --> 00:43:14,379
- I've never been to a gay bar.
- You're treated like a human here.
461
00:43:14,380 --> 00:43:17,539
It's a great place
to hang out and relax.
462
00:43:17,540 --> 00:43:21,539
Here, any one man
is worth as much as another.
463
00:43:23,260 --> 00:43:24,899
Look at that guy.
464
00:43:25,940 --> 00:43:30,939
Jesus, another ten shots,
and he could have me fooled.
465
00:43:32,540 --> 00:43:35,939
Have you ever done it?
With a man?
466
00:43:37,220 --> 00:43:39,619
It isn't my cup of tea.
467
00:43:39,620 --> 00:43:41,419
- How about you?
- Right!
468
00:43:42,020 --> 00:43:46,059
I'm 24 years old
and have had sex with two women.
469
00:43:46,060 --> 00:43:50,739
I'm due a little more pussy
before I switch to cock and ass.
470
00:43:50,740 --> 00:43:52,819
Did I hear "ass"?
471
00:43:54,660 --> 00:43:57,299
- Mind if we join you?
- Not at all!
472
00:43:59,540 --> 00:44:02,779
Ten shots.
You said ten shots.
473
00:44:04,740 --> 00:44:07,419
- Cheers!
- Cumshots!
474
00:44:12,260 --> 00:44:14,379
OK!
Hang on...
475
00:44:14,380 --> 00:44:18,059
Christian, bring those two girls home.
476
00:44:18,060 --> 00:44:22,619
Can't we just pretend like
we're gay tonight?
477
00:44:22,620 --> 00:44:25,819
- Not a chance. Go!
- Christian!
478
00:44:26,500 --> 00:44:29,459
Hi, excuse me for interrupting.
479
00:44:29,460 --> 00:44:35,259
Could I just stand here
and pretend like I'm picking you up?
480
00:44:35,260 --> 00:44:39,659
Just until my friend is satisfied?
He won't stop nagging.
481
00:44:39,660 --> 00:44:41,779
- Of course.
- Cool.
482
00:44:42,780 --> 00:44:46,579
Quite the pressure.
Could I bum a cigarette?
483
00:44:46,580 --> 00:44:49,939
- Where are we going now?
- My place!
484
00:44:49,940 --> 00:44:53,099
- Isn't he coming?
- No, he has things to do.
485
00:44:53,100 --> 00:44:54,659
How old are you?
486
00:44:54,660 --> 00:44:56,299
58.
487
00:44:56,300 --> 00:44:58,059
And you?
488
00:44:58,060 --> 00:45:00,579
- What do you think?
- 16.
489
00:45:40,940 --> 00:45:43,059
- Hi.
- Shh!
490
00:45:45,300 --> 00:45:48,419
- Are you in here?
- Who is that?
491
00:45:50,820 --> 00:45:52,659
Hi.
I'm Christian.
492
00:45:54,500 --> 00:45:58,179
Have you eaten?
Why don't I make breakfast?
493
00:45:58,180 --> 00:45:59,819
No, I'm fine.
494
00:46:00,420 --> 00:46:04,459
Where are the car keys, mom?
I'm meeting Kaja.
495
00:46:04,460 --> 00:46:07,899
- You can drive Christian home.
- Seriously?
496
00:46:07,900 --> 00:46:11,059
No, really.
Don't worry about me.
497
00:46:11,060 --> 00:46:14,339
- It's the least we can do.
- I'll take the tram.
498
00:46:35,100 --> 00:46:38,099
- Talk to me.
- What?
499
00:46:38,100 --> 00:46:41,179
No bullshit.
Have you fucked?
500
00:46:45,460 --> 00:46:47,139
Yes!
501
00:46:48,980 --> 00:46:50,299
Fuck!
502
00:46:56,540 --> 00:46:58,899
What the hell is going on?
503
00:47:02,300 --> 00:47:05,259
- Did you get laid?
- Like a madman!
504
00:47:05,260 --> 00:47:08,419
- She was pretty old.
- Shut up! Women age like wine!
505
00:47:08,420 --> 00:47:11,099
I'm proud of you.
Well done.
506
00:47:11,780 --> 00:47:14,979
Chris, stand up.
Stand up!
507
00:47:16,980 --> 00:47:21,339
I hereby appoint you
as Oslo Fuck Club's -
508
00:47:21,340 --> 00:47:24,459
- first official Big Cat.
509
00:47:26,180 --> 00:47:28,099
For the one of us who, -
510
00:47:28,100 --> 00:47:32,019
- at any given time,
last fucked a new chick.
511
00:47:35,140 --> 00:47:36,979
OK, fuck it.
512
00:47:36,980 --> 00:47:40,659
You have been fantastic.
You too, Leo.
513
00:47:40,660 --> 00:47:46,179
I'll admit it. I've been holding back.
But that's over now.
514
00:47:46,180 --> 00:47:52,219
Now it's all about cock, pussy, S&M
in the woods and fucking lesbians.
515
00:47:52,220 --> 00:47:54,659
Try stopping me, Middle Cat.
516
00:47:54,660 --> 00:47:57,179
- Burn!
- Shut up, Baby Cat!
517
00:47:57,180 --> 00:47:59,099
Come on.
Maja!
518
00:47:59,500 --> 00:48:01,579
Maja!
519
00:48:02,740 --> 00:48:06,859
- Time for a party!
- I'll kill your whole family, Karl!
520
00:48:07,340 --> 00:48:11,979
OK. We have six hours
to organize the party of the year.
521
00:48:11,980 --> 00:48:15,099
The mother-in-law of all parties.
522
00:48:15,100 --> 00:48:19,939
Chris, you have to find
as much alcohol as you possibly can.
523
00:48:19,940 --> 00:48:25,779
Leo, you handle the crazy shit. Here's
my card, don't tell me what you buy.
524
00:48:25,780 --> 00:48:32,059
Maja, you call every girl you have
ever met in the surrounding area.
525
00:48:32,060 --> 00:48:35,419
- You know more than I do.
- He's fucked 90 %% of them.
526
00:48:35,420 --> 00:48:39,179
It would be kind of like Hefner,
partying with girls you've screwed.
527
00:48:39,180 --> 00:48:42,179
- Fine, we both score chicks.
- Fuck you.
528
00:48:42,180 --> 00:48:44,779
- Excellent.
- Maja?
529
00:48:44,780 --> 00:48:48,659
- What if we don't feed the goat?
- It gets hungry.
530
00:48:48,660 --> 00:48:50,219
Feed the goat!
531
00:49:21,980 --> 00:49:25,619
- You should get a jacuzzi.
- More champagne?
532
00:49:27,820 --> 00:49:29,619
- Hi.
- Hi.
533
00:49:32,340 --> 00:49:34,979
I was invited, if...
534
00:49:34,980 --> 00:49:37,419
Of course, no problem.
535
00:49:37,420 --> 00:49:41,659
As long as it's been cleared
by the goat.
536
00:49:41,660 --> 00:49:44,699
So...
It's good to see you.
537
00:49:44,700 --> 00:49:46,779
Likewise.
538
00:49:46,780 --> 00:49:51,179
- You want something to drink?
- I brought my own.
539
00:49:52,860 --> 00:49:54,699
Dick or sack?
540
00:49:54,700 --> 00:49:57,099
- Huh?
- Dick or sack?
541
00:50:02,140 --> 00:50:04,059
Sack?
542
00:50:04,060 --> 00:50:06,259
Wrong.
It was dick.
543
00:50:07,060 --> 00:50:13,139
I thought you of all people would
recognize a dick when you saw one.
544
00:50:59,180 --> 00:51:03,019
Hey, maybe it's time
to start calming down?
545
00:51:03,020 --> 00:51:06,339
The goat needs to be fed.
It needs to.
546
00:51:06,340 --> 00:51:09,459
Or else the SPCA
will get mad at us -
547
00:51:09,460 --> 00:51:13,099
- and all hell will break loose.
We don't want that.
548
00:52:24,700 --> 00:52:26,379
Sorry!
549
00:52:31,180 --> 00:52:32,939
Listen...
550
00:52:33,740 --> 00:52:35,859
I should leave now.
551
00:52:35,860 --> 00:52:38,379
Do you want to walk me out?
552
00:52:38,380 --> 00:52:41,259
I just have to say bye to Maja.
553
00:52:41,260 --> 00:52:44,699
Thanks for tonight.
It was awesome.
554
00:52:56,660 --> 00:53:01,379
I think it's best for everyone
if I go home with you.
555
00:54:27,100 --> 00:54:28,819
Hello!
556
00:54:31,460 --> 00:54:35,099
How are things here?
Did I wake you up?
557
00:54:37,940 --> 00:54:40,859
Were you at a party last night?
558
00:54:48,340 --> 00:54:51,859
All right, bye.
See you on Sunday.
559
00:55:13,060 --> 00:55:14,899
There you go.
560
00:55:17,300 --> 00:55:19,139
What's your name?
561
00:55:19,140 --> 00:55:20,739
Mads, was it?
562
00:55:21,660 --> 00:55:23,499
Mads is a super name.
563
00:55:24,500 --> 00:55:29,659
How old are you?
564
00:55:29,660 --> 00:55:31,019
One?
565
00:55:31,020 --> 00:55:33,939
- Answer Christian.
- Two?
566
00:55:33,940 --> 00:55:36,379
You don't have to answer.
567
00:55:37,500 --> 00:55:37,980
Hello!
568
00:55:49,860 --> 00:55:51,619
You just spilled some.
569
00:56:25,580 --> 00:56:29,859
My first draft is due
in early December.
570
00:56:33,940 --> 00:56:35,579
Yeah.
571
00:56:37,100 --> 00:56:39,579
No, that didn't work out.
572
00:56:42,460 --> 00:56:45,539
She ended up in bed with Karl.
573
00:56:46,900 --> 00:56:52,379
No, it wasn't like that. They didn't
even know who the other one was.
574
00:56:52,380 --> 00:56:54,779
No, mom.
It isn't...
575
00:56:54,780 --> 00:56:58,019
He doesn't even know her name.
576
00:56:58,020 --> 00:57:00,699
Stop.
It's no big deal.
577
00:57:01,100 --> 00:57:04,339
Anyway, I have met someone else.
578
00:57:05,340 --> 00:57:08,059
Yeah.
Her name is Elisa.
579
00:57:08,540 --> 00:57:10,379
So that's...
580
00:57:10,380 --> 00:57:13,499
Yes, she's very cool.
A very cool girl.
581
00:57:19,340 --> 00:57:21,539
Hey, Karl, come here.
582
00:57:24,860 --> 00:57:27,099
- That looks great.
- What?
583
00:57:27,100 --> 00:57:30,299
You coming out with us tonight?
584
00:57:30,300 --> 00:57:32,779
Elisa and I are meeting Maja.
585
00:57:32,780 --> 00:57:36,939
You've been hanging out for weeks.
Are you an item?
586
00:57:37,340 --> 00:57:39,379
- I don't know.
- What's that mean?
587
00:57:39,380 --> 00:57:43,219
It means we enjoy
each other's company.
588
00:57:43,220 --> 00:57:46,179
Does it have to be more complicated?
589
00:57:46,620 --> 00:57:49,459
- Are you her boyfriend now?
- No.
590
00:57:49,460 --> 00:57:54,739
- You're just getting the hang of this.
- You need at least one more.
591
00:57:55,380 --> 00:58:00,259
Why get continually rejected,
when I can have fun with Elisa?
592
00:58:00,260 --> 00:58:03,499
OK, I have a plan.
Bring Elisa, -
593
00:58:03,500 --> 00:58:06,739
- and score a threesome.
She'll be game.
594
00:58:07,780 --> 00:58:12,939
I don't think she's into that.
And she has her kid this weekend.
595
00:58:13,340 --> 00:58:16,179
- Elisa has a kid?
- How old?
596
00:58:16,180 --> 00:58:17,979
Two, maybe?
597
00:58:18,540 --> 00:58:20,299
Whew!
598
00:58:22,660 --> 00:58:24,299
What?
599
00:58:24,740 --> 00:58:26,139
Hm?
600
00:58:28,100 --> 00:58:29,699
Have you...
601
00:58:30,740 --> 00:58:31,979
When?
602
00:58:31,980 --> 00:58:35,299
Christ, it was like four years ago.
603
00:58:35,300 --> 00:58:39,579
- It was at this crazy after-party.
- You too?
604
00:58:39,580 --> 00:58:42,459
We were wasted, or stoned.
605
00:58:42,460 --> 00:58:45,459
It was no big deal.
It was just for kicks.
606
00:58:45,460 --> 00:58:50,419
So you and Leo fucked Elisa
at the same time?
607
00:58:50,420 --> 00:58:54,219
- Was anyone else involved?
- No, just us.
608
00:58:54,220 --> 00:58:59,819
- But, shit, she's smoking hot!
- It was just some drunken fun.
609
00:59:10,780 --> 00:59:15,539
She would probably have told you
if she wanted you to know.
610
00:59:15,540 --> 00:59:20,299
"By the way, your buddies
double-penetrated my ass."
611
00:59:20,300 --> 00:59:25,939
"But I'm done with that now.
Let's do it the normal way."
612
00:59:25,940 --> 00:59:27,619
Come on, Christian!
613
00:59:27,620 --> 00:59:32,979
Let's go find the lesbian national
yoga team and have an eightsome.
614
00:59:59,740 --> 01:00:02,699
How many have you had sex with?
615
01:00:04,140 --> 01:00:07,499
What kind of a question is that?
616
01:00:07,500 --> 01:00:09,859
I'm just curious.
617
01:00:09,860 --> 01:00:11,419
OK.
618
01:00:12,940 --> 01:00:14,739
34, I think.
619
01:00:15,420 --> 01:00:18,299
Or 33.
Something like that.
620
01:00:21,540 --> 01:00:24,739
Have you ever been in a threesome?
621
01:00:24,740 --> 01:00:27,779
Why are you asking me that?
622
01:00:31,820 --> 01:00:36,259
Over there, isn't that
that girl you made out with?
623
01:00:37,500 --> 01:00:39,659
Maybe she could join us?
624
01:00:43,580 --> 01:00:47,739
Christ! I thought you were serious
for a second.
625
01:00:47,740 --> 01:00:49,619
What do you mean?
626
01:00:50,700 --> 01:00:53,139
What, are you serious?
627
01:00:56,820 --> 01:00:58,979
- OK.
- OK?
628
01:00:58,980 --> 01:01:02,539
- So you're up for it?
- Yeah, sure.
629
01:01:02,540 --> 01:01:04,219
I don't know.
630
01:01:04,980 --> 01:01:06,659
Or...
631
01:01:07,060 --> 01:01:08,739
No.
632
01:01:09,780 --> 01:01:11,699
Why not?
633
01:01:11,700 --> 01:01:13,259
Because...
634
01:01:13,260 --> 01:01:15,979
Because I don't want to.
635
01:01:20,260 --> 01:01:22,579
How about a foursome?
636
01:01:24,100 --> 01:01:28,859
We can bring in Karl and Leo
and all fuck together.
637
01:01:34,140 --> 01:01:35,619
Listen...
638
01:01:35,620 --> 01:01:39,099
That happened ages ago, Christian.
639
01:01:40,060 --> 01:01:44,619
- Why are you being like this?
- Like what?
640
01:01:44,620 --> 01:01:48,659
- Like a guy who's into threesomes?
- I don't want to.
641
01:01:48,660 --> 01:01:51,939
Why don't you ask
how many I have slept with?
642
01:01:52,420 --> 01:01:55,819
- You know there aren't many.
- I don't care!
643
01:01:55,820 --> 01:02:00,579
- Why didn't you say something?
- I didn't see it as a problem.
644
01:02:00,580 --> 01:02:02,659
This is so typical!
645
01:02:02,660 --> 01:02:06,739
Karl and Leo can fuck around because
they're men, but I'm a woman...
646
01:02:06,740 --> 01:02:12,339
I'm not talking about what you
have done. I'm talking about us.
647
01:02:12,820 --> 01:02:15,859
You're trying to force me
into a fuck orgy!
648
01:02:15,860 --> 01:02:21,299
Fine, since you're beyond all that,
let's move in together.
649
01:02:21,300 --> 01:02:26,699
And I can be Mads' substitute dad,
since he's so crazy about me!
650
01:02:32,700 --> 01:02:34,619
Don't call me.
651
01:07:10,900 --> 01:07:12,339
Out you go.
652
01:07:16,420 --> 01:07:19,779
You and Kevin Danielsen were arrested.
653
01:07:20,940 --> 01:07:24,939
Kevin who?
I don't know a Kevin Danielsen.
654
01:07:24,940 --> 01:07:27,219
You called him -
655
01:07:27,220 --> 01:07:31,299
- The Punisher last night.
Do you know him, or not?
656
01:07:31,300 --> 01:07:32,899
I do.
657
01:07:32,900 --> 01:07:39,619
You have been charged with violating
Penal Code section 192-A:
658
01:07:39,620 --> 01:07:43,699
"Sexual intercourse accomplished
by violence or menace."
659
01:07:43,700 --> 01:07:46,939
"Punishable by
up to 10 years in prison."
660
01:07:46,940 --> 01:07:51,979
I suggest you get yourself a lawyer.
You will be released...
661
01:08:42,980 --> 01:08:45,339
- Karl!
- I told you so!
662
01:08:46,220 --> 01:08:47,859
Up you go!
663
01:08:47,860 --> 01:08:50,579
You doubted your cock.
664
01:08:50,580 --> 01:08:54,579
But you've just fucked with that cock,
haven't you?
665
01:08:56,660 --> 01:09:00,939
Five chicks, and it isn't even
Christmas yet. Damn I'm good!
666
01:09:00,940 --> 01:09:04,979
You've become
a goddam fucking machine!
667
01:09:04,980 --> 01:09:07,459
I have to go get laid.
668
01:09:25,340 --> 01:09:27,099
Christian?
669
01:09:29,260 --> 01:09:31,619
Yes.
670
01:09:31,620 --> 01:09:34,019
- Sandwich?
- Excuse me?
671
01:09:34,020 --> 01:09:37,899
- Would you like a sandwich?
- No, thanks.
672
01:09:39,180 --> 01:09:42,059
I've looked at what you gave me.
673
01:09:42,620 --> 01:09:47,779
- This shouldn't be a problem.
- OK. What does that mean?
674
01:09:47,780 --> 01:09:52,019
That means
they don't have enough evidence.
675
01:09:52,020 --> 01:09:55,899
So you'll probably get off scot-free.
676
01:09:57,740 --> 01:10:00,579
What if they do have enough evidence?
677
01:10:00,580 --> 01:10:03,459
Then you risk some years
in the slammer.
678
01:10:04,020 --> 01:10:07,739
Or a fine.
Depending on what they find.
679
01:10:08,260 --> 01:10:10,499
Sure you don't want a sandwich?
680
01:10:38,460 --> 01:10:41,459
Aren't you going to eat?
681
01:10:41,460 --> 01:10:44,059
No, I'm not that hungry.
682
01:10:44,060 --> 01:10:47,379
- Are you sick?
- No, I'm not sick.
683
01:10:49,340 --> 01:10:51,259
You look sick.
684
01:10:51,260 --> 01:10:56,299
It's called a hangover.
That's a grown-up sickness.
685
01:10:57,980 --> 01:11:01,059
How's it going with the ladies?
686
01:11:02,580 --> 01:11:04,539
Fine, I guess.
687
01:11:04,540 --> 01:11:06,859
Do you have a girlfriend?
688
01:11:06,860 --> 01:11:08,579
- No.
- Why not?
689
01:11:10,420 --> 01:11:13,139
Leave Christian alone now.
690
01:11:20,140 --> 01:11:22,939
Hey, how are you really doing?
691
01:11:24,340 --> 01:11:27,339
I'm fine.
Just have a lot on my mind.
692
01:11:28,020 --> 01:11:30,859
- I'm very proud of you.
- Stop it.
693
01:11:30,860 --> 01:11:35,019
I mean it.
You've always been such a sweet boy.
694
01:11:35,020 --> 01:11:40,219
No matter what you do,
I will always be proud of you.
695
01:11:43,420 --> 01:11:48,859
But listen, if something has happened,
you have to be honest.
696
01:11:48,860 --> 01:11:51,899
Then everything will work out.
697
01:11:51,900 --> 01:11:54,059
- Duly noted.
- OK?
698
01:11:57,820 --> 01:12:00,819
Good night.
Sleep tight.
699
01:12:19,620 --> 01:12:21,259
Hey!
700
01:12:21,860 --> 01:12:24,899
Hi, it's you.
I thought...
701
01:12:24,900 --> 01:12:27,979
Never mind.
I've been thinking.
702
01:12:27,980 --> 01:12:30,219
- About what?
- My case.
703
01:12:30,220 --> 01:12:32,939
Shit, I forgot to tell you!
704
01:12:32,940 --> 01:12:35,499
I got a call a few days ago.
705
01:12:35,500 --> 01:12:38,339
All the charges have been dropped.
706
01:12:38,340 --> 01:12:42,499
She wasn't up for a full trial.
I told you so.
707
01:12:42,500 --> 01:12:46,019
- But I want...
- It's very common.
708
01:12:52,660 --> 01:12:55,059
I want to confess.
709
01:12:55,060 --> 01:12:58,859
- Why?
- Because I can't live with this.
710
01:13:04,060 --> 01:13:08,379
Listen, she said she doesn't want
any more attention.
711
01:13:08,380 --> 01:13:14,339
The police have to drop a rape case
if there's no victim. Case closed.
712
01:13:14,340 --> 01:13:19,979
Don't force her to do something
she doesn't want to do. Again.
713
01:13:20,860 --> 01:13:22,099
OK?
714
01:13:22,780 --> 01:13:25,779
Put it behind you, Christian.
715
01:13:25,780 --> 01:13:27,779
Happy New Year.
716
01:13:49,580 --> 01:13:51,299
Christian?
717
01:13:51,300 --> 01:13:54,379
Can't you come out?
We miss you.
718
01:14:17,300 --> 01:14:19,179
Hi!
719
01:14:19,180 --> 01:14:20,579
What's this?
720
01:14:22,380 --> 01:14:28,459
This is... a prioritized list of girls'
names in case I get a daughter.
721
01:14:28,460 --> 01:14:33,139
- Are you going to be a dad?
- I don't know. Maybe.
722
01:14:33,140 --> 01:14:36,859
You don't have Tone there.
Mind if I add my name?
723
01:14:53,420 --> 01:14:53,900
Hi.
724
01:14:59,700 --> 01:15:01,579
How are you doing?
725
01:15:04,580 --> 01:15:05,819
I...
726
01:15:05,820 --> 01:15:07,619
Super.
727
01:15:16,420 --> 01:15:20,419
Has Karl told you
how he lost his virginity?
728
01:15:21,820 --> 01:15:26,219
Up by Lake Sognsvann,
with a girlfriend of mine.
729
01:15:26,220 --> 01:15:28,099
Sounds amazing...
730
01:15:29,180 --> 01:15:33,339
He didn't notice
that his nose started bleeding.
731
01:15:33,340 --> 01:15:35,779
Her face ended up covered in blood.
732
01:15:36,140 --> 01:15:39,379
Number one: Nosebleed Ellen.
733
01:15:41,900 --> 01:15:43,779
Yeah.
734
01:15:43,940 --> 01:15:48,139
- It isn't easy.
- You don't know the half of it.
735
01:15:50,980 --> 01:15:53,019
Here.
736
01:16:02,940 --> 01:16:04,899
- Is this Karl?
- Yes.
737
01:16:05,580 --> 01:16:10,299
So he clearly knows
what it feels like to be rejected.
738
01:16:15,380 --> 01:16:19,179
Listen,
I know Karl can be a total pain.
739
01:16:20,100 --> 01:16:25,099
Personally, I've never been a fan
of his womanizing.
740
01:16:26,580 --> 01:16:28,499
All those girls.
741
01:16:29,820 --> 01:16:34,459
But I let it slide because
it has had a positive effect on him.
742
01:16:34,460 --> 01:16:38,899
That's because
you're in love with him, Maja.
743
01:16:47,980 --> 01:16:49,739
Anyway...
744
01:16:51,900 --> 01:16:55,659
I know those guys can be
intense and irritating.
745
01:16:55,660 --> 01:17:01,939
But staring at the ceiling and
not talking to anyone, is also bad.
746
01:17:02,620 --> 01:17:05,379
If not for them, do it for me.
747
01:17:06,300 --> 01:17:10,659
I need someone to talk to out there
with an IQ over 70.
748
01:17:14,260 --> 01:17:16,219
- Maja?
- Hm?
749
01:17:23,780 --> 01:17:25,539
I have...
750
01:17:29,660 --> 01:17:32,699
Don't worry about it, Christian.
751
01:17:36,780 --> 01:17:40,619
Ladies and gentlemen, friends,
and you there...
752
01:17:40,620 --> 01:17:43,339
I don't know you, but I like you.
753
01:17:43,340 --> 01:17:50,259
It's awesome that so many of you are
still around after all our fuck-ups.
754
01:17:53,500 --> 01:17:59,979
But there is one person who has
made this a fantastic year for me.
755
01:17:59,980 --> 01:18:04,899
One of my favorite people
in the whole fucking world:
756
01:18:04,900 --> 01:18:06,659
Christian!
757
01:18:07,660 --> 01:18:11,339
He has changed my worldview -
758
01:18:11,340 --> 01:18:13,859
- with his naive kindness.
759
01:18:14,580 --> 01:18:19,179
And unbeknownst to him, he has helped
me and Leo write a book -
760
01:18:19,180 --> 01:18:23,779
- that will hopefully help
many desperate jerk-offs.
761
01:18:23,780 --> 01:18:27,139
He has been through
a boot camp from hell -
762
01:18:27,140 --> 01:18:31,099
- that makes the special forces
look like bitches.
763
01:18:31,100 --> 01:18:34,299
It's been hard, dark and miserable, -
764
01:18:34,300 --> 01:18:36,779
- but he rose to the occasion.
765
01:18:36,780 --> 01:18:40,419
Like a fucking phoenix from the ashes!
766
01:18:41,780 --> 01:18:44,939
It is a pick-up guide for men.
767
01:18:44,940 --> 01:18:49,979
How to go from man on the street
to fucking machine.
768
01:18:49,980 --> 01:18:56,019
123 tips, illustrated throughout with
pictures I have drawn of Christian.
769
01:18:56,940 --> 01:19:01,459
I would like to dedicate
the last toast of the year -
770
01:19:01,460 --> 01:19:04,259
- to Christian.
Cheers!
771
01:19:12,700 --> 01:19:16,219
Christian,
don't be such a party pooper.
772
01:19:19,140 --> 01:19:21,299
- Hey!
- What the hell?
773
01:19:24,500 --> 01:19:26,419
Take it easy!
774
01:19:32,860 --> 01:19:40,540
Christian!
775
01:21:51,140 --> 01:21:52,819
Hey, boss.
776
01:21:55,860 --> 01:21:57,859
Get lost.
Go away.
777
01:21:58,900 --> 01:22:02,139
I thought I'd try to talk you down.
778
01:22:02,140 --> 01:22:05,059
Just leave me alone.
For once.
779
01:22:05,900 --> 01:22:09,299
I'm not leaving here without you.
780
01:22:12,100 --> 01:22:14,379
OK.
So what is this?
781
01:22:15,100 --> 01:22:18,379
- The final chapter? You save me?
- Please...
782
01:22:18,380 --> 01:22:20,219
Chapter 123:
783
01:22:20,220 --> 01:22:23,939
Karl the Savior
rescues Christian the Pathetic.
784
01:22:23,940 --> 01:22:27,019
What do you think I am?
785
01:22:27,020 --> 01:22:31,099
I think you went behind my back
and wrote a book.
786
01:22:31,100 --> 01:22:36,299
You fucked someone you knew I liked.
You forced me...
787
01:22:36,300 --> 01:22:40,179
Leo and I didn't force you
to do anything.
788
01:22:40,940 --> 01:22:44,059
OK?
You went along voluntarily.
789
01:22:44,060 --> 01:22:49,059
- After you fucked Mylian.
- Yes, I fucked Mylian.
790
01:22:49,060 --> 01:22:54,419
I realized you liked her,
so I fucked her. And it helped.
791
01:22:54,420 --> 01:22:57,819
- It helped?
- Yes. Say what you want.
792
01:22:57,820 --> 01:23:02,699
You are a much better man
than that wimp I met six months ago.
793
01:23:02,700 --> 01:23:08,939
If you keep listening to me, I can
guarantee you an awesome life.
794
01:23:08,940 --> 01:23:12,939
And you know it.
I did all that to open your eyes.
795
01:23:12,940 --> 01:23:17,699
To give you a chance
to avoid being constantly rejected.
796
01:23:17,700 --> 01:23:19,419
Open my eyes?
797
01:23:21,100 --> 01:23:24,219
You are so fucking stupid.
798
01:23:24,220 --> 01:23:28,459
Just tell me what's wrong,
and I'll help you.
799
01:23:29,220 --> 01:23:32,259
We raped a girl, Karl.
800
01:23:32,260 --> 01:23:34,299
Me and The Punisher.
801
01:23:35,620 --> 01:23:38,459
So fuck "being rejected."
802
01:23:40,580 --> 01:23:44,899
- Shit, I...
- You didn't think that would happen?
803
01:23:44,900 --> 01:23:47,539
Of course not.
You're an idiot.
804
01:23:47,540 --> 01:23:50,219
You have wasted half your life.
805
01:23:50,220 --> 01:23:52,339
Pissed it away.
806
01:23:53,420 --> 01:23:57,459
You claim I don't know
how the world works.
807
01:23:57,460 --> 01:24:02,139
You're the one who's forgotten
how the world works.
808
01:24:17,460 --> 01:24:19,419
Don't touch me!
809
01:25:05,340 --> 01:25:10,019
Hi. We have an appointment
with Christian Lunde.
810
01:25:29,340 --> 01:25:32,339
- Hey, Chris.
- Hi, boss.
811
01:25:38,100 --> 01:25:39,979
How's it going?
812
01:25:41,060 --> 01:25:42,819
Fine.
813
01:25:45,260 --> 01:25:46,739
And with you?
814
01:25:54,980 --> 01:25:57,459
Let's go find the bathroom.
815
01:26:04,540 --> 01:26:07,259
Seriously?
You and Maja?
816
01:26:08,300 --> 01:26:10,379
Pretty sick, huh?
817
01:26:11,940 --> 01:26:14,099
How did that happen?
818
01:26:14,100 --> 01:26:18,939
We argued for, like, three days.
She didn't believe me, so...
819
01:26:18,940 --> 01:26:20,659
I proposed.
820
01:26:38,860 --> 01:26:41,579
So how are you really doing?
821
01:26:43,180 --> 01:26:45,259
The doctor thinks -
822
01:26:46,140 --> 01:26:49,379
- I should stay a couple more weeks.
823
01:26:49,380 --> 01:26:51,939
But... I am doing fine.
824
01:26:54,540 --> 01:26:57,299
Have you gotten some diagnosis?
825
01:26:57,300 --> 01:27:00,379
Just your average depression.
826
01:27:02,220 --> 01:27:04,939
24 out of 30 on the scale.
827
01:27:14,340 --> 01:27:16,859
Listen, I would never...
828
01:27:17,780 --> 01:27:21,579
I would never have pushed you
if I had known...
829
01:27:23,260 --> 01:27:24,979
It's OK.
830
01:27:29,220 --> 01:27:31,899
You said lots of things that...
831
01:27:38,540 --> 01:27:40,579
I just wanted to...
832
01:27:42,060 --> 01:27:43,819
I don't know.
833
01:27:47,380 --> 01:27:50,259
I just want to apologize.
834
01:27:52,940 --> 01:27:54,619
Thank you.
835
01:27:57,340 --> 01:28:01,299
Anyway, I talked to our publisher.
836
01:28:01,300 --> 01:28:04,779
We decided to can the entire book.
837
01:28:04,780 --> 01:28:07,099
This is the last copy.
838
01:28:07,940 --> 01:28:10,899
Let me know, and I'll delete it.
839
01:28:10,900 --> 01:28:12,819
Could I have it?
840
01:28:16,020 --> 01:28:17,899
Are you sure?
841
01:28:17,900 --> 01:28:21,179
I thought it might be interesting.
842
01:28:24,020 --> 01:28:27,539
To see things from your perspective.
843
01:28:27,540 --> 01:28:31,379
Fuck it. Take it.
Do with it as you please.
844
01:28:33,980 --> 01:28:35,299
Thanks.
845
01:28:35,300 --> 01:28:39,219
There's probably
a lot of porn on there.
846
01:28:39,220 --> 01:28:42,219
I mean, we're talking shitloads.
847
01:28:42,220 --> 01:28:48,099
If you find any shemale stuff,
that was downloaded ironically.
848
01:28:56,420 --> 01:29:00,739
Leo eventually found
the woman of his dreams...
849
01:29:01,300 --> 01:29:04,819
A ten of spades
and billionaire heiress.
850
01:29:08,260 --> 01:29:10,619
Stop, you little shit!
851
01:29:12,980 --> 01:29:18,659
Unfortunately her mother
was also a solid nine of clubs.
852
01:29:24,020 --> 01:29:28,099
Leo insists he'll soon give up
the single lifestyle.
853
01:29:32,740 --> 01:29:38,219
Karl got into architecture school
and married Maja.
854
01:29:42,140 --> 01:29:48,219
Their love has blossomed
since she became number 123.
855
01:29:52,660 --> 01:29:56,659
They have two daughters.
856
01:29:58,380 --> 01:30:04,219
To Karl's great relief, he believes
he has spied lesbian tendencies.
857
01:30:12,980 --> 01:30:15,139
And Christian?
858
01:30:15,140 --> 01:30:17,139
Well...
859
01:30:19,980 --> 01:30:24,419
Our next guest wrote a book
about Oslo's pickup scene.
860
01:30:24,420 --> 01:30:27,619
It has already sold
over 100,000 copies.
861
01:30:27,620 --> 01:30:32,619
Please welcome social worker
and author Christian Lunde!
862
01:30:38,380 --> 01:30:40,699
Hi there!
863
01:30:40,700 --> 01:30:42,659
Hi, Christian.
Welcome!
864
01:30:46,300 --> 01:30:49,739
Hi.
It's great to have you here.
865
01:30:49,740 --> 01:30:51,899
- How are you?
- Great.
866
01:30:51,900 --> 01:30:55,739
You had some scores to settle
with yourself.
867
01:30:55,740 --> 01:31:00,059
I sure did.
It was the only right thing to do.
868
01:31:00,940 --> 01:31:04,539
I had scores to settle with myself.
869
01:31:04,540 --> 01:31:07,379
And with others
who had been affected.
870
01:31:07,820 --> 01:31:10,699
It has to do with attraction...
871
01:31:10,700 --> 01:31:12,219
Christian?
872
01:31:12,580 --> 01:31:14,179
Christian!
873
01:31:14,900 --> 01:31:17,059
I'll call you back.
874
01:31:17,060 --> 01:31:19,259
- Hi.
- Hi!
875
01:31:20,420 --> 01:31:23,139
- Long time, no see.
- Truly.
876
01:31:23,140 --> 01:31:26,059
- And now you're on TV.
- Yeah.
877
01:31:27,940 --> 01:31:30,299
- How are you?
- I'm great.
878
01:31:30,300 --> 01:31:34,379
Listen, I have an appointment.
It was great seeing you.
879
01:31:34,380 --> 01:31:37,619
Don't you have two minutes
to talk to me?
880
01:31:37,620 --> 01:31:40,779
Was there something in particular?
881
01:31:40,780 --> 01:31:42,699
Not really.
882
01:31:42,700 --> 01:31:45,419
That is, I just...
883
01:31:46,060 --> 01:31:49,819
I've been wondering
if you feel that I...
884
01:31:49,820 --> 01:31:54,179
Was I mean?
Did I take advantage of you somehow?
885
01:31:54,580 --> 01:31:56,539
Listen.
886
01:31:56,540 --> 01:32:00,259
You have nothing
to feel guilty about, OK?
887
01:32:00,260 --> 01:32:03,299
OK.
That was a huge relief.
888
01:32:03,300 --> 01:32:08,459
Except that you're the reason
I tried to commit suicide.
889
01:32:14,220 --> 01:32:18,619
You should have seen your face.
See you later!
890
01:32:20,780 --> 01:32:23,699
Hey, Christian.
Hang on!
891
01:32:24,980 --> 01:32:26,939
Where are you headed?
892
01:32:26,940 --> 01:32:30,739
Actually, what I'm doing
is going home -
893
01:32:30,740 --> 01:32:33,379
- for a nice, long wank.
894
01:32:37,394 --> 01:32:40,394
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