Original subtitles

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do

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do

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so

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do

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so

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so

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[Applause]

very high up in banking you know one of

the highest

and he's still only 55.

i'll have this finish for you tomorrow

mrs roberthood

you know i've got a feeling you're going

to be as pretty as your mother one day

won't that be something

well

i must fly bye-bye

bye-bye ivy

oh my god she's trying to fix me up with

an apple manager such a busy body what a

valuable customer

mum

i found it in this room

kenny

got to do a map of europe

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actually scissors

ken

uncle burke thought he'd be nicer on the

veranda but i said you'd be more

comfortable in the study come inside

here we are just in time for afternoon

tea ah ken good to see you

how you doing fine thanks uncle burt

good

good

i'll leave you to it then

good

so you you're doing all right hey yes

thanks

and uh

your mum all right she's fine

ivy fine good

good

you know i thought it'd be nice if we uh

sat up on the veranda but uh your auntie

dory thinks we'd be better off in here

yes

yeah

oh sit down ken

well then ken uh

well you know what this is all about no

sorry

you mean your mother didn't tell you

no

huh

well it's no big deal uh you see i'm

just sort of filling in for your father

if he was still alive he would have had

this little chat with you but uh

seeing as he isn't

you see when i was your age the big

question was

what's it all about

hey you know all this stuff about

well the stuff about

men and and women and

having babies

you know what's it all about how do you

go about it what's the big mystery to it

all

well there's no big mystery ken there is

no mystery at all it's

simply

part of the natural order of

things

you know just like we all eat and

breathe and

go to the left

they all do it they all

well they all uh

copulate

come again copulate

the insertion of the penis into the

vagina

and these symptoms of arousal lead to

what's called the plateau phase

in other words uncle burt you're about

as hot it up as you can get and if

stimulation continues it leads to orgasm

sorry

orgasm oh orgasm right causing

ejaculation

ejaculation

no you got me there again

well you know what happens when you have

an orgasm uncle bert

it's only me

don't let me interrupt you

that's the tricky bit ken oh my word

that bit can be very very tricky

are you talking about premature

ejaculation

huh

well you know when you shoot your load

what'd you say it was called again

actually the main cause is anxiety the

more you worry the worse it gets

the squeeze technique that's right uncle

herb the squeeze technique

don't you think ken ought to be getting

home it's half hour six oh uh yes yes

well ken uh thanks for coming over

anytime uncle burt

i haven't even touched

unclasps her warmed jewels one by one

loosens her fragrant bodice

by degrees her rich attire creeps

rustling to her knees

half hidden

like a mermaid in seaweed pence of a

wild she dreams awake and sees in fancy

fears and agnes in her bed

but dares not look behind

or all the child

is fled

soon

in her soft and chilly nest in sort of

wakeful swoon

perplexed chile

until the poppied warmth of sleep

oppressed her soothed limbs

and soul fatigued

away

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for your

precious love

[Music]

what was wrong with gloria she played

like an eight her cousin

do you know barry's playing

juniors

do you think she's better than billy

watson billy watson thinks he's the best

in wa but gary is molly thinks gary's

the most super looking guy in the whole

school i think she's right and looking

from danny valetti

anyone seen the milk

don't you think it looks a bit like

elvis presley elvis presley just his

eyes

he's got eyes just like elvis presley

danny valetti have you seen him in

bathurst oh wow if you think tony's

about built shirley's tony tony weaver

shelley mcalpine

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it's the way he looks at me

hey why don't we go to the beach on

sunday we might see gary lloyd there

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one two three

that's how easy it could

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in the school be

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love together

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whatever

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mayonnaise

it grieves me to have to bring this

matter to your attention mrs riddle but

your son has a long record of minor and

more serious misdemeanors

bearing that in mind i think you'll

appreciate the exceptional gravity of

his latest um

ken is planning to stay art when he

finishes school mr reynolds mrs riddle

would you call this

art

you only have to see the nudes in the

national gallery the sun is

astonishingly prolific mrs riddle even

the great leonardo would have been

impressed

but the evidence suggests that what we

have here is not so much a collection of

priceless works of art

as an extensive and i gather very

lucrative

underground industry

curiosity experiments

i know it's all part of growing up cam

but look where it's got you now we have

to look for another school i'm sick of

school mum oh jeez ken come on keep

moving and your drawing technique's

terrible

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ivy

what's happened

i want to stay the night with you

oh um gwen phoned in a bit of a state i

should think so i should think she's at

a wit's end what on earth did you tell

him

sorry

two hours to tell him the facts of life

well he he had a lot of questions dear

i could have told him the facts of life

in five minutes

all he needs to know anyway

what's so funny

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so

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do

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[Applause]

so

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so

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do

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so

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[Applause]

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fine chip i thought you'd gotten lost

okay

greek business the best my daughter

elena she might think for you thanks

you good boy you good boy

either you want the stuff that sticks or

the stick that stuff

oh kenny kind of kidding stick around

yeah

yeah yeah see you did

you hear the one about the uh lingerie

salesman from barabadoo

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let's see

roses are red

violets are blue

all day long

i've been thinking of you

perfect

my grandma's stash

yourself a flavor kenny

wait you can grow a really nice one

you see kenny

most fellas it's wham bam thank you man

no style no finesse

all they think about is rush enough to

tell their mates

then they wonder why next time they get

rejected

who's that

it's my mum yeah who's the fella mr

williams

boyfriend

mum this is mr wiseman he gave me a lift

max wiseman i've heard a lot about you

from herbert no it's a pleasure to meet

you mrs riddle now that is a fetching

outfit may i say how much i admire your

taste

thank you terrific cut what uh from a

pattern no i designed it myself better

be on our way gwen why are you wasting

your time making dresses mrs riddle

herbert's told me never to believe a

salesman especially one as good as you

seriously we

we should talk about this

we want to be over mundaring where

before sunset there's a huge flock of

black cockatoos that roost there an

incredible sight to see them coming in

well nice to meet you mr wiseman ivy's

making stuff for kenny oh you won't

catch me under a flock of black

cockatoos

not without an umbrella anyway

your mum's a good sport kenny

see in the morning

well thanks for everything mr wiseman

hey hey hey

forget the mr weisman crap

it's max

i think miss evans mr driver are having

a scene what makes you think that

just the way they always seem to be

together

and they'll both be on camp and i'm sure

it's not an accident

hey lazy

so if they keep disappearing into the

forest together

i can just see my sevens

no

come on terry

you can do better than that if there's

one thing i cannot abide

it's lack

of

effort

[Laughter]

[Music]

roses are red

violets are blue

all of my life i've been waiting for you

oh can

take me again

do you think he's all right

okay

it's like he blacked out or something oh

had some kind of fit

anybody got a light

hell is it you never got married max why

buy a book when you can

join the library

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when i came

what are you wrecking

me excuse me ladies but how'd you like

to rub shoulders with two of the most

eligible and attractive men in the hall

at first i would love to where do we

find them well i can see you in ladies

of taste and discernment right and we

are very fussy who we mix with you if

you don't mind me put my chat together

allow me to introduce my associate mr

kenneth riddle sit down kenny

mr riddle is a junior executive in my

organization i'm max weiss i'm single

and so i'm also charming witty sensitive

and understanding but don't take my word

for it i'm quite encryp's high in

testimonials elizabeth taylor marilyn

monroe the gun

secretary

try this tripos

i like it and for whom do you drive the

meet commission by some chance

i work for the physically conditioned

watch out for max you could shock you

shirley sorry mourinho don't tell me

i'll get them eventually uh janet ollie

she's brendan i'm iron that saves a bit

of time

for business brenda i'm fine thanks they

can see that darling but would you care

for another drink

no thanks

all right well if you insist come on

brenda

let me see two more drinks for ladies

and a couple of beers in the gentlemen

so what do you do for a living irene i

work for the fisheries department oh

that's a good line to be tell me more

you got me yours thought it was an

ashtray what are you doing

for fun for a living living well

we're in the rag tray

my marketing director and over there

you're looking at the future md of

bollinger company

quite frankly irene i thought you might

be in the fashion

well i had no good taste when i see it

i'm sure you know what one i've already

got too many vices as it is but just

launched the new atomic bra and goebbel

combination ladies a tommy yeah what

makes them fall out i'll get you one if

you like just got to check the sides

excuse me we don't serve people under

21.

and the fact is that you shouldn't be

here at all it's okay marge

he's actually 27. it's a case of

arrested development all right i'll let

you stay but no alcohol

hurry

sorry i was just going anyway

seriously

kenny

working late

yeah

like it

it's great

oh

no

i'm pleased with it

i'm about to look my best

to do for the london chairman of mr

williams bank you can imagine how

everyone's gonna be turned out

what's the matter

nothing mom

can

it's not gonna happen again you know

remember

mr alderton

ordered a motors

well he wanted to marry me but i turned

him down

not because i wanted to because of you

and ivy because of all the fuss the pair

of you kicked up if you want to go out

with mr williams don't even bring

yourself to greet him

how do you think that makes me feel

ivy likes and why the hell shouldn't you

it's your business mum

you bet it's my business and whatever

this leads to if it's what i want to do

then you might as well accept it

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so

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so

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honey

you have to help me

i've tried everything

oh careful you tear the fabric

see if you can undo the zipper

it's all jammed up oh i'm so late

oh

where's ivy when i need her

well

do you want me to call maisie

see if you can undo my bra

then we'll sort of ease the whole thing

off

help me kenny so it doesn't tear

thanks

and uh while i was wondering about in

the course there he was bagging bogeys

and birdies

well now i have an opportunity to tackle

him on my home ground and i hope

retrieve some of australia's honor as

well as my own

ladies and gentlemen without further ado

i give you sir harry harvey what

[Applause]

my uh good friend cyril is extremely

self-effacing

i felt as loud might had you delivered a

short one to bradman

would you mind passing that bottle of

wine please

sorry as for the line

as for the implement wants the work

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away the kangaroos

[Laughter]

[Music]

that's pretty good

i shan't be seeing mr williams anymore

we um

we had a long talk and we both realized

that

hi kenny

good night mum

i've got any spare order sheets i seem

to run out there was a young lady called

julie fans from a place called cowgirl

next please i'm in a hurry i gave her a

quid you know what you did

now uh sebastian is in charge of the

day-to-day running of the warehouse

he'll be your immediate superior oh

surely don't tell our word for a moment

thanks good on you mate jimmy

kenneth

kenneth

this is buddy mcjanet good to meet you

ken god he is our new assistant storeman

the bus been telling me you're all

working your asses off he said we were

going through a particularly busy period

mrs riddle

it's uh max wiseman i've been doing some

thinking

where do i start well

all these boxes here have to be opened

and unpacked this one right yep

you better check with arthur first

seriously arthur's the boss

it's crazy i'm just an ordinary

dressmaker well ken tells me you've

studied dress design

do you know when that was before the war

mrs riddle believe me i know what i'm

doing now you won't have to say a thing

i'll do all the talking

how unusual

10 o'clock thursday oh and i want you to

wear the same dress i saw you in the

other evening you know the one you wore

when you went to catch the cockadoos

i didn't say yes

or you didn't say no

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only one question

how much do you want to spend

about 50 quid i can't believe it just

come and have a look at this

any idea what you're looking at

oh an fx told them a bargain of a

lifetime

private sale belong to my brother-in-law

i'm selling it as a favor no commission

no marker now he's asking 70 but i know

he'll take 60.

how much have you got barry

not even 50.

i can lend you 20.

see what i mean

well i only do them to amuse myself

mrs riddle

would you mind standing up for a moment

please just look at this mr bollinger

it's fresh

it's original

striking

now it's cheek and it's very

sophisticated

now i've taken a look at what's in the

stores and i can assure you there's

absolutely no comparison this is style

mr bollinger this

is dynamite

[Music]

losing time i'm fading fast i just wanna

make it last try to let go of the past i

close my eyes embrace the blast

sleepless nights and headaches stuck

restlessness to hell and back what's my

purpose what do i grab a slippery

surface a heart attack

and sometimes you just gotta believe

there's something that'll give you

relief

there's something that'll have what you

need

what you mean

we're broken it's tragic we're not all

elastic but maybe there's magic believe

you could have it and i know

barry about friday have you spoken to

janelle i've seen her after work and

you're definitely going to take her well

i've got to ask her first

shirt well i was thinking how

how about my sister

thriving why don't you ask her yes

well

she's okay you know

what do you mean

well i reckon she'd be all right

what is this

sorry this

oh well i don't know what you call it in

pommy land but in this country it's

known as the singlet not on these

premises

me mum will give me hell if i take it

off you know what i mean janet this is

not a building site we do not go around

like navi's here

so what do you reckon barry

you're you're telling me your your

sister's like good for a good time i

reckon if you went about it the right

way

[Music]

there you doing ivy

i'm feeling awful

ivy

what's the funny smell in this car

oh

this beer got spilt

smells more like someone who's been sick

well why why don't you sit in the front

four

well there's no smell in here i'm happy

i am thanks oh my baby please open up

the door you got all i need plus a

little bit more

[Music]

baby

[Music]

come on

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thanks

[Music]

hey

[Music]

sweetest lipsticks

foreign

[Music]

[Music]

if you don't shut up i'm gonna smash

your head right through this windscreen

[Music]

you okay

yeah

come on

uh

[Music]

[Music]

is

in the shadows

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

there's the size

hi

can i help you

no it's okay i'm just waiting for my

mother mrs costa ladies oh it's you that

makes the biscuits

ballet

i'm going to an audition of sun lake

well that's terrific

yeah but there'll be lots of others

i'll keep my fingers crossed thanks

[Music]

kelly's my daughter she's very beautiful

she's going to be beautiful dancer dez

i'm sorry i fix him up your other in the

morning we're going to be late yes you

can come quick

bye ken yes

jeez barry did you say that hey

mrs costa lady's daughter whoa

oh yeah

beautiful

she just left

with her mum

lames fellaini

i just know i'm gonna see her again yeah

well you're trying on there mate and

those greeks will have your balls for

breakfast

and laney isn't that a terrific name

hey

maybe i could ask a little driving with

you amazing yeah

maisie's gone off me thinks i'm not good

enough for her i think it's ivy what's

done it

just when i was about to crack it

crack it with maisie well not with ivy

that's for sure how near did you get

one fleet or the other shall we walk or

take a dog

i see

so we're having a nice little party are

we

oh listen to this uh

you hear about the chinese couple that

got divorced

well she went back to peaking and he

went back to wanking get out of here

did you hear it i said mcjanet

read it arthur it'll do wonders for your

sense of humor

[Music]

um

[Music]

and what's your husband my husband died

on the wall

[Music]

rosa

so how we doing you were right they're

terrific yeah they're not a bad lottery

a bunch of walks hey but this man is

very cheeky let me just check him back

so

you're finding yourself a nice pretty

widow

casanova

[Music]

she makes them special for you

elena

it's her birthday on saturday she's 16.

we're going to have a big party you like

to come i'll be there good boy

okay

certainly mr bologna

mrs costa needs i will attend to this

personally upon my return however i've

just been invited to luncheon with mr

bollinger oh very nice

would you like this

an antiquity and delicacy mrs costa

needs

it was a mistake

[Music]

she's

[Music]

[Music]

uh gwen with your talent and uh my looks

and a bit of luck

hey hey you were given any thought to a

label

perhaps gwen riddle sounds as exotic as

christian dior sounds to us you'll have

to do better than that

go for something french like you say

exotic

ah is this really happening sure is

and it couldn't possibly be four dozen

players of thought sir

yes mr mclavitt he'll do that for you

first thing tomorrow thank you very much

sir

is it two at your birthday arthur

yes

21. geez

congratulations

i think you can it's okay

like janet

well uh how aren't you gonna borrow my

tv

yeah the celebrations tonight

my family's giving me a party

and besides you know the rule about

drinking at lunchtime

how about after work eh

you can go into pubs now yeah bottle

shops

oh i get it

you want me to buy booze for you

no it was just that yes i know what you

were thinking but right now i have a lot

of orders to get out

this is costa needies

why didn't you think you're doing this

years ago

you make it sound so easy you need money

the right connections

heaps of confidence in this business for

every success there's 100 failures

you won't fail mum it makes you so sure

because you're terrific that's why

you've no idea how much that means to me

and this is your lucky day

look

house

of

elegance

i think you've got it

[Music]

aren't you going to invite us to your

party

[Music]

well that's not very friendly

well it's it's not what you chops would

call apartment like

no alcohol

now both

it's not allowed in our house

so who's going oh

people from our church

[Music]

better get you home then

oh no more

it's not even six o'clock

[Music]

i get to like that stuff

[Music]

i know that's what you're calling me

behind my back i've never heard anybody

call you that arthur

winger

[Music]

well if they did i'm sure they didn't

mean it oh charlie

one of my best mates is a plummy bastard

we're calling that all the time

we're just a bunch of aussie bastards

what's the difference

but i tell you there is a difference

i

am not

a pommy bastard

[Music]

i'm a welsh bastard

[Music]

arthur where have you been your mother's

so worried about you

arthur

[Laughter]

no i'm not i'm a bastard

[Music]

[Music]

he told you that a friend of mine

just go on

look nervous

take my advice

yes next time park your car around the

corner

oh morris i told him someone saw his car

bugged in high street what

hey straight curly

guide camp at the weekend

from the house

of elegance oh wow

mr wiseman

he's going to

introduce me to some very important

people in the business

so wish me luck

with a name like the house of elegance

you can't go wrong

good evening hello

i'll probably be late so don't wait up

maybe

mr wiseman

there you are

no no it's a table for four

[Music]

um uh just so daughter for me please got

to be on my toes haven't i

and the usual for you sir

yes yes thank you thank you

willie

i'll be glad when this is all over just

relax and enjoy the okay

look um you're more used to this than i

am i'll answer questions when i have to

and i'll leave the rest up to you okay

okay

did you hear the one about the irishman

who thought that a pair of teeth was a

set of dentures watch it my father was

irish oh sorry

you know it's funny my mother was dead

against me during the course and dress

design she young she wanted me to be a

nurse like her but daddy said follow

your dream

so why didn't you

oh follow your dream

oh

marriage children the war

now's your chance to do something about

it sure better later than ever yeah

well your dream

come true

[Music]

look i took a gamble i thought if i

asked you out to dinner just just the

two of us and maybe

soft lights with music

no wonder everyone knows

this is where you bring all your

floozies isn't it

to hot them up

huh

gwen

take me over

you said take me home right

put yourself in my place in your place i

would have said let's go out for dinner

together i wouldn't have lied about it i

would have said no no i wouldn't

for two days i've been gearing myself up

for this

thinking about

about what i was gonna say and how i was

gwen

look i'm truly sorry

i honestly thought you were sending me

home

i will set up the meeting i'll let you

know let's get something quite straight

max whatever your original motors we've

really started something and i believe

in it

i want it to succeed

all i ask of you is to behave like my

partner

not like a bloody traveling salesman

i'll see you in don't bother

[Music]

i'll see you on friday

there was a young lady called yuri who

came from a town called algori if you

gave her a quid you know what she did

she pulled down her pants and said screw

me

[Music]

oh

[Music]

in new york

you could choose whatever you wanted

blonde brunette redhead

fat or thin

the whole place was just packed with

them it was like a big fancy hotel

you could order drinks there was music

there was dancing

max is made

he got one with tits as big as

watermelons

geez

how can you tell if you've got vt

[Music]

[Applause]

maybe it's a sign

an omen like telling us to turn back

maybe i should have worn me bloody dust

coat

[Music]

huh

[Music]

hey this is

[Music]

[Music]

know what this is ladies

our first

order

gonna get a prank

i've got some ideas for a range of

evening wear very chic very

sophisticated great did you know that

the strapless gun is held up mainly by

public opinion oh max

what's wrong

i've

gone to a guides camp for the weekend

and uh

kenny's gone fishing at manju it's uh

it's the first time i spent the night on

my own this house it's not much fun

no

but why don't we go have a bite to eat

why not

let's celebrate

you choose somewhere really nice

you fellas on petrol are you running out

of steam

where you fella's gone how gooey

we're going to visit my sister

all right

she works in the whole house

[Laughter]

good evening mr wiseman

a table for two

this all seems vaguely familiar have we

been here before by any chance

oh no it's coming back to me now it

wasn't with you it was with some smart

house in the right trade who's trying to

get the right caps uh um

uh an appetite uh a very dry martini

thank you very much yeah it would make

mine a scotch she'll be followed by a

bottle of champagne mm-hmm it will be

fine good

certainly

what's madame x

don't you like it here

really

[Music]

someone can get

[Music]

now what

yeah we just gotta wait until she cools

down

i heard if you get syphilis it's like

pissing boiling water

i wonder which is worse syphilis or

gonorrhea

what else next time

[Music]

[Music]

the christmas tree's on fire santa's

holding the

my parents are both liars i got gifts

but want subscribers thanks for the

candy basket oh god another jacket my

stockings filled with

aren't they supposed to acid red lights

geez maybe they're all holiday houses

there's no point

let's go home shut up everybody

well i think max was bullshitting about

hong kong

maybe you got a toot like a signal

[Music]

you go and ask helen you go and ask

maybe auntie's right

it's just a lot of [ __ ]

you mean we came all this way for

nothing

i'll go

[Music]

that's it i saw that headlight

well what are we waiting for

arthur come on man i just look after the

car for away oh come on arthur we're all

in this together

i see how you go

well uh let me show them

either you're bloody late or bloody

early

what can i do for you all the same

oh

you're looking for girls are you come on

then

don't be shy that's the way

come on come inside

come on

come on

well now

who would you like

there's

dixie

rita

michelle chantel

wake up sweetie

oh jesus christ minor it's 6 30. i know

sweetie but we've got two gentlemen just

come in and one of them's asked

especially for you we'll tell him to

[ __ ] off he lied no bryce mona what do

you think i am i've been up all bloody

night you're one of my girls sweetie and

as such i expect you to get with

somebody else

i'll speak to you later elaine

don't you run away boys

if you want me to go i will go just tell

me to my face i said we'd discuss it

later do you know what time i got to

sleep

this is rita just cause you owned this

place it does not mean that you own me

you'll kindly keep your voice down

elaine why does it always have to be me

why not your precious little dixie for a

change or chantel

do i really have to put up with this

sort of [ __ ] working all night and all

day like

dixie

i don't want to talk about it later i

want to talk about it now if you're too

tired to work you're too tired to talk

so go back to sleep when you wake up you

can start packing your things you can't

fire me

you need me that's what you think

sweetie

[Music]

oh i love that girl

[Music]

are you sure about this that's what

we're here for isn't it

[Music]

it

helps to take your trousers off

car trouble

where are you from

come on baby the clock's ticking

[Music]

you've still got 25 minutes

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

she said it's what you get paid for and

i said who the hell do you think i am

and now she's fired you know i told her

you know she says i'm the one they

always ask for that's [ __ ] those two

little [ __ ] have never even been

here before

am i working cause you said no if i can

say no then so can you so who's gonna

look after the customers when they

arrive at 6 30 in the morning nobody

they're supposed to be open all hours

yeah well it's time that changed

that's vermona to say why why shouldn't

we have a say as well who earns all the

bloody money anyway if it wasn't for

mona we wouldn't be here do you know

that she's okay forget it told her to

pack up and go back to you already no no

now you came here for a good time and a

good time is what you're going to get oh

come off it mona i have never turned

someone away and i'm not about to start

now fine then you look after him

if

what

forget it what happened

nothing

yeah

nothing happened

oh where's batty i don't know

come on what do you mean nothing

happened

okay

ted

you come all the way from perth

for this

[Music]

forgot my money

and get it

come on

[Music]

what's your name

don't go again

[Music]

oh i thought you'd gone we're having a

meeting at 11. mona said 12. she's

already talked to chantelle and michelle

the rest of us have got to stick

together and decide exactly what we're

going to say we're going to start

standing up for our rides so we need

your support okay be careful what you

say to rita it'll all get back to mona

[ __ ] michelle what are you talking about

you and chantelle and dixie what about

us just see if she says anything against

mona at the meeting and don't say i

didn't warn you stupid [ __ ]

speak for yourself you little [ __ ] face

you should have put your foot down the

same as eli why should i work whenever i

want um 6 30 in the bloody morning i had

car troubles coming on the way from

perth and guess what

he's a virgin

oh

right now he's the hottest tune in the

one desert three

that's how easy it could be

[Music]

i thought the car was abandoned

oh no i'm just fixing the accelerator

actually

okay then

come on baby

baby

give it to me

give it to me like a randy young

boy

[Music]

is

is

another 15 minutes okay

come on baby let's start again a boy how

can it be a bully a bullet's a car

straight a bull [ __ ] it is ask

anybody a bullock

isn't a bullet like a young bull

no it's

something different

well i'll be

buggered hey

you're losing interest

a little

can't have your money back it's too late

come on baby

you'll manage

you'll see

um

can you lend me a couple of quid

oh daddy i'm always lending your money

so

and this time

i cracked it

hell ken

barry went back for another

what was it like

ideal

i

[Music]

and the doors

but not the weather folks it's going to

be a great day

[Music]

[Music]

everything's fine

and um thank you for a lovely evening i

really enjoyed it

my pleasure partners

well i was wondering if you felt like

going out somewhere

what did you have in mind

it's always king's part

it's not very original

you have to think of something better

than that max

[Music]

[Music]

yes

to

my heart

[Music]

[Music]

nobody

[Music]

what does he want

what's your name son

hey i'm an address

donald brad

fitment said sorry

mcjanet

barry mcdaniel well mr mcjanet do you

care to explain how you your mate and

the

expert mechanic here come to me in

possession of a stolen vehicle

[Music]

i have to warn you i know nothing about

sailing

neither do i

[Music]

well at least it wasn't a case of your

place or mine

[Music]

don't move

[Music]

so

find anybody yes

it isn't you until after six

jeez that's another five hours

let's go back to mona's place well sure

like there's lovely

come on

why not

because we barely enough money left for

our tickets back to perth

you might manage a cup of tea

[Music]

[Music]

like me

[Music]

can tell me about your husband

sounded like quite a guy

kids don't even remember him

what makes you mention george

just thinking

how's that you never got married again

don't tell me nobody ever asked you

because i won't believe it then don't

look over there max huh

over there what

oh [ __ ]

oh

come in you can trust me on the

southland

[Music]

look over there

[Music]

max

[Music]

no max don't be silly

[Music]

so

finally mission accomplished

gwen

[Music]

i promise you i didn't plan this no

oh max you disappoint me after all i've

had no i hope sure but i i didn't expect

it no i didn't

i'm jacking

[Music]

geez barry

i'm just telling everybody he's bragging

about it he's making it sound like all

three of us got fixed up at moana's so

fellas did you make out in the flesh

plastic out girly

the whole bloody world knows

do you reckon if i sent it to mona's

place hay street kalgoorlie

it'll get to her telephone

dixie

hello ken riddle speaking good

morning sexually transmissible

our diseases clinic reports this morning

that the ladies shall we say easy virtue

tested positive

and my anxious traits all of her recent

visitors

she's provided us with a list upon which

the name

appears

it can't be me i've never been to

calgary

we were assisted by the police

still there mr little

yes

i would like you to come into the state

laboratory for a checkup uh about 10

o'clock on thursday

i appreciate your need for discretion

what's up

[Music]

[Music]

how are you doing hey

i don't know

not too good

oh no no you can't tell yet

you won't know for certain until after

the test

well i want you didn't i

he's got the stapler

a couple of jabs that's all it takes

kenny

mind you i hear there's a new strain

going around one poor bugger got it so

bad they had to amputate

amputate what what do you think

only jagging mate

hey

hey come on ken

dispatch off of asking

yes

certainly

kenneth

telephone

dr flobisha

i suggest you ask mr wiseman for his

advice

he's extremely knowledgeable in this

math

[Laughter]

ah that's where they were be looking all

over the place for him these are for my

mother oh mate a lady called louise gwen

look kenny um

let's go and have a nice quiet drink

anything i want to know eh all this

fashion crap you don't think i know what

you're on about no it's not true it's

not what you think don't give me your

[ __ ] you just calm down all right

oh okay

all right that's right

come on

it's not what you think kenny it wasn't

just another

i fell in love with her

look it was something that happened it

probably won't happen again

she didn't exactly spell it out but i am

i got the message

maybe i'm not the right guy for her

funny you know

she's the first woman i ever fell in

love with who didn't feel the same way

about me

[Music]

no hard feelings they can

[Music]

ken

and french seam the bodice on the party

frog ah see see we do first thing in the

morning wonderful give rosa gonna kiss

for me

ciao ciao

can

what happened

your face oh

we were just fooling around have you

been in a fight

who did this to you no it's nothing mum

it's nothing

i'm coming to the kitchen i can look at

it properly it's okay

i told you

we were just fooling around

queen riddle speaking

[Music]

[Music]

never break always fight never quit do

it right

[Music]

[Music]

so i want to live

[Music]

[Music]

i have a very special christmas treat

for you all tonight

the premiere range from the house of

elegance

who's that

who's that

who's that

crazy she looks beautiful in green pink

hmm

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

there she is my talented and wonderful

sister

follower and of course her partner in

crime and mastermind of the whole

venture

[Music]

the house of elegance

[Applause]

[Music]

terrific

[Music]

oh

this is arthur

lazy

harley

[Music]

you want to watch out for art he's a

he's a bit of a dark horse look who's

talking

now a little bit of shush please just

for a moment now we have yet another max

weisman triumph

allow me to present his good friend and

master of the rhythm and blues

little willy littlefield

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

how does an aussie woman get a man's

attention hey

she drops the aggregate she wrapped

around the beer bottle

man jose was funny did i

mom

[Music]

know i had the stance

why of course

[Music]

let's jump

around

[Music]

now it's nice to see young arthur

looking after my niece oh she's a very

retiring girl she needs to have some fun

[Music]

my turn kenny there's a young lady over

there who seems to be unattached

what a lovely girl

[Music]

kenny

kenny

thanks for the dance mom

[Music]

hi

hi

how was the audition good i'm one of the

swans

congratulations

of course that thanks

i can tell about myself

not

would you like to dance sure that'd be

wonderful helene go help you mama take

my money

[Music]

you're the one to make that business

with a snack

it was a mistake

let me tell you something

i laugh so much i nearly [ __ ] myself

you're drinking

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

the land

[Music]

[Applause]

excuse me

you invited i'm looking for very mcjanet

[Music]

oh hi morris

[Music]

oh

[Music]

i

[Music]

i

don't have

anything

since

i

don't have

happiness

[Music]

is

[Music]

to is

says

[Music]

oh

oh

[Music]

um

[Music]

[Music]

when i came across a campfire

[Music]

like the girl from

[Music]

up

[Music]

[Music]

you