All language subtitles for Just Good Friends s02e05 Farewell Holiday.eng

? What would you say

? If I told you things
had never changed and...

? We'll find a way

? To take our dreams
and rearrange them?

? Who would believe

? That we could be in love again?

? So let's just pretend

? That you and me can be

? Just good friends ?

(Continues ringing bell)

Oh.

- Hello.
- Hi.

Is this a side effect
of something you've taken?

I love it when you're angry with me.

Really? Then you're in for an evening
to remember, aren't you?

- Come in.
- Thank you.

(? Pop music plays on stereo)

- Like to sit down?
- Thank you.

So, when did you move back in here?

Tuesday.

Big Ed went to Barbados, he didn't
want to, but his accountant insisted.

Oh, must be terrible for him (!)

It's no picnic. So I'm here
for the rest of the fiscal year.

- Caretaking.
- Yeah.

I always knew
that one day you'd find a career.

It's nice to know
someone had faith in me.

(Turns up volume)

- Would you mind switching it off?
- Why?

One, I prefer my eardrums
to be the unperforated variety,

and two, I don't like it.

I'm the host,
I'll have what I want on.

I'm your guest,
so please will you switch it off?

Switch it off yourself.

Did you enjoy that?

I pretended
it was your life-support machine.

Mind if I have a wine?

Why not? That's all you've been doing
since you got here.

Look, I'm not in the mood for
your Just William sense of humour.

You said you wanted to see me as
you had something important to say.

So just say it.

Well, shall we sit down first?

(Vince clears his throat)

Pen, what I have to say
isn't going to be easy,

so would you, just this once,
allow me to speak without interrupting?

- You see...
- What do you mean "interrupting"?

I never interrupt.

- I must be thinking of someone else.
- Yes, you must.

- OK. Fire away. The floor's all yours.
- Thank you.

(Clears his throat) Pen...

I you're trying to persuade me
to come back to you, forget it.

- It's nothing like that.
- Oh. Fine. Well, come on then.

Before I tell you,

can I first explain about
our misunderstanding last Saturday?

Last Saturday? Oh, you mean at the
wedding reception we were invited to.

The marriage of my boss's daughter.

That's the one. You see...

When you, you worm,

were caught in the kitchen indulging
in friendly fondling with Samantha.

It was not friendly fondling.

Oh, what was it,
a good old-fashioned grope?

Nothing happened.

Ah! From what the others told me,

it sounded like one of the dirtier
scenes from Deep Throat.

Seen that? What's it like?

Shut up.

Help yourself.

I reached up and my cufflink got
caught in the strap of her dress.

Oh, god!

That's what happened.

It's not the first
social gathering we've been to

where your cufflink's
become snagged up on some tart.

I admit, in the past, as a callow youth
under the influence of alcohol

certain unscrupulous females
have taken advantage of me,

but I'm older now, Pen. I've changed.

Oh, I know you have.

It would have been
the best man's sister,

but nowadays you go right to the top,
the bride herself.

It's evil, Vince.

It's like goosing the widow
at a funeral.

My cufflink got caught
on her shoulder strap.

Change the record, please,
you're becoming boring.

- What's the point?
- After last Saturday, there isn't one.

Can I go or is there something else?

- Yes, there is.
- Well, hurry up, then.

It's difficult
to know where to begin.

Look, Vince,
do you mind if I say something first?

Not in the least, Penelope.

As you have obviously gathered,

as far as I am concerned,
nothing has changed since last week.

It's still over between us.

And to be honest, it's got nothing to do
with what happened last Saturday.

You see,
sometimes people simply grow apart.

That's happened to us,
we've grown apart.

Now, I know it hurts, Vince.

Oh, I've been there,

but that pain
only lasts for a short time.

Eventually it fades and dies.

Now, you'll meet someone else,
someone who'll make you happy,

as happy as I've made you.

That happy?

Yes.
One day, you'll forget all about me.

Now I know at this precise moment
that's difficult to believe,

but, in time, you'll meet
someone else, you will.

Now,
what was it you wanted to tell me?

I'm getting engaged.

- Sorry?
- I'm getting engaged

A fortnight, this Saturday.

We were going to have a celebration
at Angie's, but we decided on...

Who the hell is Angie?

The girl I'm getting engaged to.
I thought you'd be happy.

Happy?

Happy?

Oh, yes. I am happy.

Oh, I see. This is another
of your childish games, isn't it?

Angie's just a figment
of your moronic, little imagination.

(Sighs) Did you honestly think
that I'd get jealous?

What's this?

That's Angie.

She's pretty, isn't she?

Hmm. I suppose so,
in a rather obvious way.

Hmm.

Oh, this could be a picture
of anyone.

When are you going to believe me?

When it snows in Morocco.

"Trattoria Il Pescatore.
�100 deposit.

"V Pinner engagement party.
22nd of..."

You were right, Pen.

Right about what?

You said in time
I'd meet somebody else.

Yes, in time, Vince.

This hasn't even been six days.

What does it matter how long
it takes to fall in love?

It doesn't matter, but you could have
given it till the end of the week.

You could be making
a dreadful mistake.

What do you know about her?
Where did you meet?

At the betting shop.
She's not one of the punters.

Monday evening we threw
a going-away party for Eddie.

Angie was one of the guests.

Oh, Vincent.

I spent Monday evening in my room,

agonising over how to tell you
that we were finished,

and you were jocking it up
at a party.

But we weren't seeing each other,
remember?

So I thought,
"While we're busy growing apart,

"I might as well pop out
for a few hours."

- To pick up a tart.
- She's not a tart.

I didn't intend to pick anyone up.

Oh, come on, Vince,
you in a room full of women?

It's like Dracula in a blood bank.

Did you sleep with her?

What, you mean that night?

I mean, any bloody night.

- No.
- Liar!

Now, wait a minute, Pen.
It's all over between us, right?

- What?
- We're finished, why should I lie?

If you must know, it's because
I have too much respect for her.

"Too much respect for her"?
But you were always trying it on with me.

- The first night we met you tried.
- Nothing happened for along time.

Only because I wouldn't allow it.

I'd known you for exactly one hour.

You bought me a Coca-Cola
and tried to undo my bra.

I remember thinking, "I'm glad
I didn't ask for a Bacardi with it."

But it was different then.

Different? What is different
about meeting me and this... bird?

I was younger then.

Despite what I claimed at the time,
that side of things was new to me.

- I was still learning.
- Oh, I see.

I was some kind of training pitch,
a practice ground

for you to test out a few theories,
iron out a few wrinkles.

- I didn't mean that.
- What a fool I must have been.

I thought we were in love,
and you were just on manoeuvres.

Look, Pen...

Would you like to dance?

I'd rather lick the floor
of an abattoir.

I didn't want it to be like this,
not on our last night.

I wanted us to be friends.

I was going to invite you
to the wedding.

You were going to invite me
to your wedding?

Angie wouldn't worry
if you were there.

The only thing Angie ought to be
worried about is if you'll be there.

Look, Pen,

just one drink?

For old times?

Friends?

I still find it difficult to comprehend
how you, of all people,

could meet a girl on Monday and
get engaged to her a fortnight later.

It's not just a girl, Pen.

- It's THE girl.
- Is she like me in any way?

No, she's younger than you are.

I meant,
is she like me in personality?

No. The complete opposite.

She... (Laughs)
Oh, well...

She laughs and...

What do you mean "she laughs"?

I laugh. Ha-ha! See?

Yeah, but she's always laughing.

Is there something wrong with her?

She's happy, Pen.

She sounds a cheerful little soul,
all that cackling and gurgling,

it's enough to put you off your food.

- She loves me, Pen.
- Yes, but what about me?

She's never met you,
but I think you'd get on.

But I still... well, sort of...

...like you.

You said you hated me.

You don't believe everything
you're told, do you?

No, but you do.

Vince, that erm... that incident,

when you got your cufflink caught up
on Samantha's shoulder strap.

(Sighs) What about it?

I believe you.

Do ya?

Of course I do.

Nobody can invent a story
that ridiculous.

(Laughs) That's exactly
what I thought.

Look, Pen, Angie's going away
for a week, soon.

She's going home to make arrangements
and give them the good news.

Oh. Really?

My parents bought a villa
on the Algarve.

Yes, Mummy mentioned it.

Well, while Angie's out of town, why
don't we fly over there for the week?

My God, you've got a nerve.

I'd like to slap your face.
Both of them!

You announce you're getting engaged
to this stranger,

and you invite me away
for a dirty week with you.

Don't get me wrong, Pen,
we wouldn't be sleeping together.

Wouldn't we?

Oh, no, no, no.
It would be separate bedrooms.

I must insist on that.

I see it as a...
kind of a goodbye holiday.

Like a honeymoon in reverse.

People do not have goodbye holidays.

Well, let's start a trend.

You see, Pen, when people break up

it's always full of bitterness and
recriminations, but it shouldn't be.

Parting should be
a very private affair,

away from family
and other outside influences,

and that's what I want for us.

I want us to be able to look back
with warm memories of pleasant days

spent in the company
of a close and good friend.

Ah, so we wouldn't be going away as,
well, girlfriend and boyfriend?

No.

Just good friends.
What do you say?

I'll have to think about it.
It sounds rather odd to me.

All right.

All right then, Vince,
let's go away for the week.

Good.
I'll pour us a drink to celebrate.

I wonder what Angie would say,
if she was to find out, that is.

She doesn't mind.

You mean she knows about it?

It was her idea.

This isn't one of those weird scenes
you read about in the Sunday papers?

No. Angie is a very trusting
and understanding girl.

She could sense that our relationship
being unresolved was worrying me.

So she said, "Darling,

"why don't you and what's-her-name
go away for the week?"

That's when I came up with the idea
of a goodbye holiday.

There you go.

Here's to our future.

Apart.

Aah!
Shall we have a dance?

Don't be silly,
it's only the two of us here.

I didn't mean a formation dance, Pen.

Come on.

Just the two of us.

Vince?

Did she really call me
"what's-her-name"?

Mm.

(? Roger Daltrey: "Thinking")

? I was just

? Thinking about a girl

? She meant to me the world,
she meant the earth

? Ooh, I was just

? Thinking about the sun

? And you and me on the run,
we had some fun

? Thinking about the world
that it gets no better

? Thinking about my love,
I should have given more

? Thinking
I'd like to get back to before

? Get back to before ?

(? Music over dialogue)

(Crickets trilling)

(Penny giggles)

(Vince) Stupid.

(Penny laughs)

(Vince) For the last time,
I am not scared of flying.

Come off it, Vince,

When the planed touched down at Faro,
you applauded.

That was not in relief, that was
in appreciation of a perfect landing.

You couldn't tell a good landing
from a bad one.

I don't know. You must have crept
along quite a few in your time.

(Sighs)

Have you phoned Angie yet?

(Vince) Hm?

Oh, erm...

I'll have to call her...
call her later.

Yes. She might be worried.
Is she the worrying kind?

Only where I'm concerned.

Oh. Oh, she sounds a wonderful girl.

All right, Pen, what's it all about?

Ever since we arrived here,
yesterday,

you've been giving me those knowing,
supercilious little smiles.

Moi?

You've been acting like someone
with a secret. Or a congenital defect.

Silly goose.

(Sighs)

Oh, yes.

I didn't tell you, did I?

The day before we were due to leave,

I went shopping to get a few vital
things for our goodbye holiday.

Suntan oil,
a good book to read in bed, uh-huh,

and that sort of thing.

And guess who I bumped into.

- Fidel Castro.
- No, Vince. Miles off, miles off.

It was Lennie, your best man.

- Oh, yeah?
- Mmm.

And he introduced me
to his future fianc�e.

- Must be catching.
- Hmm. Like mumps.

I knew that I'd seen her
somewhere before,

then I remembered
that photograph you showed me.

She is the spitting image
of your Angie.

Yes, that is because Leonard
is getting engaged

to Angie's twin sister.

Curious,
because her name's Angie as well.

Yes.

You mean her parents
had identical twin girls

and christened them both Angie?

Old Lincolnshire custom.

I see.

That's an old Chipping Ongar custom,
you lying, ratfink creep!

Argh! Careful, Penny. It can hurt.

I can't feel a thing.

All right, this is your last chance.
Do you give in? Ooh!

Where did you get
that girl's photograph from?

Ooh!

I borrowed Lennie's coat,
I found it in one of the pockets.

I was gonna tell you later.

What about the receipt for �100
in the restaurant?

You didn't tell them about that?
That was my surprise present to them.

Oh. Oh, that's really sweet of you.

Why make me come all this way
for lies?

Ooh! I like playing games.

If you knew they were lies,
why did you come with me?

Because I like winning games.

- Oh, Penelope.
- Oh!

Vincent. That's quite enough.

Penelope, you've set the old Viking
blood surging through the veins.

Come here, wench!

No. No, stop it, Vince.
Don't! Stop it!

(Roars)

You OK?

- Mmm.
- Good.

I wish that priest
hadn't seen us this morning.

It was
as if he could read my thoughts.

A one-eyed budgie with a squint
could have read your thoughts.

Yeah, but he made me feel... unclean.

I've been thinking about
confessing my sins.

Come on, we're only here for a week.

Yeah, I suppose you're right.

At least I told the truth about the lies.

What?

About Angie and all that.

Coming clean
makes life so much easier.

I mean, look at us,
we've got rid of all the silliness,

questions, pretence,

separate bedrooms, things like that.

Oh, no. We had an agreement
and we're sticking to it.

- But it's different now, Pen.
- Different?

Because I found out that you'd
been lying, I've got to sleep with you?

They're the rules.

God, if I'd had to sleep with you
every time you told a lie,

I'd have spent
half my life in a coma.

- So, what you saying?
- I'm saying, on your bike.

We came out here as friends,
remember?

And we're going to remain out here
as friends. Got it?

- Fine.
- Good.

- Could we pet heavily?
- No!

Got the misogs, have we?

- No.
- Pig.

Vince. There is a lizard
behind that armchair.

Don't be stupid, Pen.

I'm not being stupid, there is
a lizard behind that armchair.

All the doors are locked.

Then there is a lizard with a key
behind that armchair.

You haven't got sun stroke?

No. What I have got
is a deep-rooted fear of reptiles.

Please believe me. There is a gigantic
lizard behind that armchair.

All right, Pen, take it easy.

I'll have a look.

- No, nothing there.
- Move the armchair!

It's a lizard, Pen.

A big lizard.

Let me guess,
you're frightened of lizards as well.

No, I'm not frightened of lizards,

only lizards
that are in the same room as me.

Give me a big mouse,
and I'm masterful, but a lizard...

(Laughs) ...it's a no-no.

Well, that is good news, Vince.

We can't even make a dash for it,
he's got the front door covered.

- What are we gonna do?
- I don't know.

- Let's phone the police.
- The police?

They won't take notice
of a call from a hysterical tourist.

All right,
then I'll phone the police.

Yeah,
but how would that make me look?

They'll think I'm frightened.

You are frightened.

We don't have to let
all of Portugal know.

To hell with your fragile little ego,
I'm calling the police.

All right, Pen, have it your way,
the phone's over there by the lizard.

Well, what a man
you've turned out to be!

First you're scared of flying,

and now you're terrified
of an itsy-bitsy little lizard.

Sickening, innit?

- It's moving, Pen.
- Oh, God. Do something, Vince!

I will if it comes any closer.

All right, slowly.
We don't want to alarm it.

(Panting)

(Vince sighs)

My hero.

It was nothing.

We could climb out of the window.

What's the point, Pen,
we've only got one lizard,

there are millions of the sods
out there.

How long have we got to stay
in this room?

The maid will open the door
and let it out.

We've got to spend the night in here?
Where are we going to sleep?

Let's search
and see if we can find a bed!

I'd rather spend the night
with the lizard.

All right.

- Be my guest.
- Close it, Vince!

It was running towards me.

Most probably mistook you
for one of its family.

Aah!

It will calm you down.

Haven't we got anything
to drink it from?

The glasses are outside
with Godzilla.

(Chokes)

We're trapped here for the night,
there's nothing we can do.

The ordeal
will be a helluva lot easier

if we start treating each other
in a semi-civilized manner.

If you weren't such a big, fat rat,
I would.

Hey, listen, you're the one who...

All right, Pen, I apologise.

Good.

I'm sorry I called you a lizard.

And a pig.

I'm not sorry about that.

Look, I didn't mean to get scared
out there.

Not your fault.

I feel I've let you down again.

Don't be silly.

Lot's of people have phobias
about certain types of animals.

I read that John Wayne
was scared of spiders.

I don't like 'em, either.

Friends?

Friends.

(Vince sighs)

I don't want you thinking
I'm ungrateful,

but this holiday's brought back
some bad memories.

How's that, then?

I came to Portugal once before,
it was a long time ago.

With Graham.

Oh, I didn't know.

No.

Well, it was while we were here

that I discovered
that our marriage was finished.

He got drunk one night,

started calling me
all sorts of rotten names.

The more he drank,
the more aggressive he became.

He started throwing things at me.

- Did what?
- It was frustration and drink.

We both apologised in the morning,
but in our hearts we knew

what we'd known for a long time,
it was over.

Is that why you came over here,
to patch things up?

No. It was our honeymoon.

It was a bad match,
from start to finish.

Did you know the moon over here
is bigger than our one at home?

Is it?

Probably to do
with the government cuts.

Sometimes I'd spend all night just sitting
on the balcony, looking at the moon.

It was the only smiling face around.

(Sighs)

Have you ever wished that the world
would stop spinning?

- No.
- You're lucky.

Been a few occasions when I'd wished
the room would stop spinning.

Yes, I've been there too.

If you like, I could switch the light out
and we could look at the moon.

OK.

You can't see the moon from here.

(Vince) No.

What should we do now then?

(Sighs)

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