All language subtitles for Just Good Friends s01e04 Fatherly Advice.eng

? What would you say

? If I told you things
had never changed and...

? We'll find a way

? To take our dreams and rearrange them?

? Who would believe

? That we could be in love again?

? So let's just pretend

? That you and me can be

? Just good friends ?

- All right, Tom?
- Is that your new car, Vince?

No, I found it over there.
Where's the old man?

- Over there somewhere.
- Cheers.

- Dad! You got a minute?
- I'll be with you, Vincie.

It's worth considering, Clifford.
Give it some thought, that's all I ask.

I don't wanna go round the world.

Negative thinking, Clifford!

Look, all you need is a pair of boots,
a compass and a knapsack

and you'll be hitchhiking through Iran.

Iran?! They kill people over there!

Don't let quaint local customs put you
off! Give it some thought, that's all.

And should you decide to devote
the next 10 or 15 years travelling,

gaining experience
in a daily dice with death,

we won't stand in your way.

- I'll bear it in mind, Dad.
- Good boy.

I mean, look at Vincent.
He's done his share of travelling.

- He ain't. He's just gone on the run!
- Well, whatever. Give us that.

Sorry, Dad.

- He's broken the bulldozer now!
- How did he manage that?

God knows. He's broken everything from
my music centre to your mother's heart.

What have you come round for?

Show off the new motor
or has your betting shop burned down?

No, I've got a bit of a problem.

I want your advice.

- You want my advice?
- Well, that's what fathers are for.

- I read it somewhere.
- You haven't asked for my advice ever.

As I said to Debbie Matthews on that
nature walk, "First time for everything."

You and Deborah Matthews were expelled.

But that's the way to get expelled.
Beats smoking in the toilets.

I should have had you doctored.

We can talk in the office.

Right, what's your problem? Drink?

No, it's nothing like that.

Oh, I see! Yeah, a large one. You've got
more crap here than out in the yard.

- What's her name?
- Who?

- Your problem.
- Why does it have to be a girl?

I know you too well, son.
Always been one bird or another.

I remember your mother found a love bite
on your big toe.

I said, "It's just a phase. By the time
he's 15, he'll be over it." Some hope.

This is why
I never came to you for advice.

I haven't even asked the question!

- So what's her name?
- Penny.

- Penny? That was the other one's name.
- Which one's that?

The posh girl from Chipping Ongar.

The one you were to marry five years ago.

Oh, yeah, that was her name as well,
yeah. In for a Penny...

- She thought she was royalty.
- No, you misjudged her.

She was refined, cultured and articulate.

A little bum like a peach.

I was always looking over my shoulder
to see what the footman was doing!

- I hope this one ain't like her.
- Funny you should mention it.

- She's very much like her.
- In what way?

In the way that...it is her.

No...no...no, no, no.
You're pulling my leg.

- You haven't picked up with her again?
- No. We're friends. Sort of.

We accidentally bumped into each other
and we've become...friendly.

- How friendly?
- Well, friendly.

You'll jump to conclusions
if I say we ended up in bed.

Well, that's quite friendly.

You can't get much friendlier, can you?

Nothing happened. She was very nervous.

It was the nearest you could get
to adultery without going, "Oooh."

Adultery? You mean she's married now?

Separated. Divorcing him
for his unreasonable boredom.

I have met some twats in my time,
but you must be a gold medallist.

You could have married her five years ago
when you had the chance, but not you.

You had to do a runner.

- It wasn't my fault.
- So whose?

- Her mother's.
- Oh!

Her mother's a Martian! You should have
heard what that family were giving me.

Do this, do that, be here, be there.
Programming me like a microchip.

By the time I walked down that aisle
I'd have looked like Metal bloody Mickey!

Maybe this is the way with Martian
weddings, but not for this boy.

I didn't know you felt like that.
You seemed all right.

Outwardly I may have appeared to be my
usual self - cool with a winning smile -

but inside I felt trapped
in a crushing machine!

Life closed in on me.

I knew that if I didn't escape,
my head would explode.

I didn't know it was that bad, boy.

Why didn't you talk to me?
I was your father.

You still are.

Why didn't you come and ask for help?

When you was born, I started looking
forward to when you'd get into trouble.

Cos you'd come to your old dad for advice.

I asked you what to do about spots. You
said, "Don't squeeze 'em in the house."

There you are. Always willing to advise.

Well, I'm here now and I want advice.

Good.

Good. Right.
I'm ready. Fire away, Vincent.

All right. How do you tell a girl who
five years ago you promised to marry,

jilted at the altar, betrayed her trust
and emotionally scarred her for life...

that you love her?

How the hell should I know?

I'm glad I came for this little chat.

Do you love her?

Yeah. It's affecting me badly.

I'm losing sleep, reckoning bets up wrong,
the whole bit.

I don't know, boy. Why do you have
so much trouble with women, Vincie?

- It's not my fault.
- Nothing ever is.

Oh, you've noticed that?

It's been going on for so long now, I've
forgotten why women...yearn for me.

Oh, yes. Now I remember.

Will you listen to it!

Do you really love her?

Who?

- Penny.
- Yeah, I really love her.

- Then tell her.
- That's a bit drastic.

No, it's just a little thing called
telling the truth. Now I am aware

that this is new territory for you,
but give it a go.

Believe me,
telling the truth ain't that bad.

She might laugh in my face.

I didn't say it was going to be
a cakewalk, did I? Tell her.

I will be outside.

Oh, and Vincent...

How did you get a love bite
on your big toe?

It was...very dark, Dad.

(Rings)

Oh, hello, Mr Warrender.

Oh, sorry, Mrs Warrender.

Drunk again, Vincent?

Yeah, so am I, Mrs Warrender.

Could I speak to Penelope, please?

PENNY!

Hmm?

- It's Thing.
- He's the last person I want to talk to.

- I'll tell him you're out.
- It's all right. I'll take it.

Hello... Thing.

Hello, Pen.
Pen, I've been thinking...

You know what the doctor told you.

Look, will you listen? I've got something
very important to tell you.

OK.

Well, I'm listening.

Pen...I, um...

I...

- I...
- It's a very bad line, Vincent.

- All right. See you this evening.
- What?! It may not be convenient.

I may have made other arrangements.

- Well, cancel them.
- Oh, sorry, sir, I forgot.

Click your fingers and I drop everything.

All right. See you about 8.30.

- Did you talk to her?
- Yeah.

Good.
Take a look at that, will you, Vincent?

Yeah, what about it?

One day it'll all be yours.

I don't want it.

- But you gotta have it.
- No. Give it to Cliff.

I can't - he'll break it!

I've left it to you in my will, Vincent.

Don't die, Dad.

Just don't die.

I'll do my best, son.

I'll do my best!

(TV) 'But despite the level
of unemployment...'

- It makes my blood boil!
- Sorry, dear?

The amount of publicity TV stations give
to this revolution.

It's a "Right To Work" march, darling.

I know what it is, thank you, Norman.

If I had my way, anybody on a "Right
To Work" march would be sacked!

That would stop their fun and games.

The public should have more say about
the contents of television programmes.

Every year I pay my licence.

That's funny. So do I.

Don't be childish, Norman.

I'm not being childish.
I'm never childish. Even as a child!

Start acting your age, then.

I am going to take my ship
to the kitchen sink to see if it floats!

- Norman...
- What?

Good luck.

I shouldn't be too late but don't wait up.

You're making yourself look pathetic.

Mother, let's understand one thing.

This is your house, your furniture,
but MY life!

- Yes, and you should get him out of it.
- Should I, really?

It's so easy to be brave for someone
else. Secure in the knowledge

that if you're wrong
you can just walk away unscathed.

Unscathed? Do you think I walked away
from that disaster 5 years ago unscathed?

Oh, no, Penelope,
I was emotionally crippled.

It took me years to learn to walk again
and even then, though you weren't to know,

I was limping. Inside.

And I�ve just learned
to run and jump again!

- And this happens.
- Vincent isn't a white slave trader.

He's not going to force me
to hold topless Tupperware parties.

My God! You bumped into him three weeks
ago and already you're so..."Brookside".

He's not for you, Penny, and you know it.

Find yourself a decent man,
a sober, law-abiding chap with a future

or a one-legged Chinese kitchen hand
with hepatitis!

Anybody but him!

You seem to be forgetting something. I was
married to a decent, law-abiding chap.

Graham was a good man.

Yes, he was a wonderful man!

And for two and a half years
I was the dutiful wife.

I dusted his collection
of Sunday Times colour supplements,

I sat through every Jasper Carrott show,

stood by and encouraged him
when he decided to buy a Flymo...

Until the soul-destroying tedium
seeped through to my bone marrow!

- But he was reliable.
- Oh, yes, he was like a quartz clock!

The first time he asked me out for a date,

he said he'd meet me in this vegetarian
restaurant at seven minutes past eight.

I should have known then!

Who meets anyone
at seven minutes past eight?!

And he arrived
at seven minutes past eight!

So the last thing I need is reliability,
but... Oh, you wouldn't understand.

I would.

When I'm meeting Vincent,
there's unpredictability in the air.

I feel excited.

Where will we go? What will we do?

Will he be there?

And that's the difference
between the two of them.

If Graham asked me round to his place
for something to eat,

he'd found something different
to do with brown rice.

When Vincent asks you round to his place
for something to eat, he means breakfast.

- And I like that. I know it shocks you.
- It doesn't.

I just love that feeling of insecurity
and I...

I'm sorry, is it me or have you actually
been agreeing with me?

I understand what you're saying, darling.

Believe me, I understand it only too well.

I don't think so, Mummy.
You have to experience it.

And you think it's beyond me
to have had experiences like that?

I haven't always been your mother, Penny.
Once I was a woman.

What are you trying to say?

You may not believe this,
but I was a passionate animal once.

Well, more than once, actually.

Oh, yes, I know the thrill of being
with somebody so special

that you'd do anything for them.
I warmed at the fires of illicit love

and felt the pains
of their beautiful torment.

And I'm going to turn round now
and if there's a smirk on your face

I'll slap you across the cheek!

I wasn't laughing at you, Mummy.

I never told you this before.
I never thought I would.

But your father...wasn't the first.

The first what?

- He just wasn't the first!
- Oh, I see! Did you ever tell Daddy?

Many times.

There was a man in my life.

His name was David. I was 19.

And he was 23. He was...
very strong and very handsome.

Not the most intelligent man. You wouldn't
leave him alone with a crossword puzzle,

but he had a smile
that was so warm and inviting

it completely took your mind
off the rationing.

One day we went away for a weekend.

To Selsey Bill.

Selsey Bill?
I've heard it's very nice there.

So have I.

I told my mother
I was going to a Girl Guides reunion.

I'll never forget arriving at the hotel.

I thought everyone was looking at me.
I could feel their eyes burn into my back.

The uniform did draw attention.

You went away for a dirty weekend
dressed up as a giant Brownie?

I could hardly change
on a crowded train, could I?

We spent two days and two nights
together.

We used to walk along the beach holding
hands and listening to the silence.

One night we plunged into the sea
for a midnight swim

and then let the warm night air dry us.

- You were in the nude?
- I didn't look, darling.

I'll never forget that night.

It was the first time I'd enjoyed myself
without laughing.

After we came back, he seemed to change.

I wouldn't see him for weeks on end

and then suddenly he'd turn up
out of the blue with that smile.

- Did you love him?
- I cried for him.

That's like love, isn't it?

Oh, yes.

That's just like love.

And when I cried he'd take my face
in his hands and kiss each tear away.

Your father tried, but they tasted salty
and he had to suck a mint.

Oh, you see, darling,
men like David and even Thing,

they're no good.
They need freedom. They die in cages.

And that's what happened to David and I.

One day he went away

and never came back.

- Where did he go?
- Korea.

Korea?

Vincent likes to go to the pub or
the dogs. Korea seems a bit extreme.

He went there for the war!

Oh, the Korean War?

Yes!
That's why they called it the Korean War!

- Oh, that's why!
- I was sad and frightened.

But at the same time proud and excited.
My man was a warrior.

Locked in combat with a foreign foe,
fighting for victory and glory.

I lost touch with him at first.

He was constantly posted from
this NAAFI store to that NAAFI store.

He seemed to be in perpetual transit.

And then one day we had a bit of luck.

The Jeep that David was travelling in
was attacked by a MiG dive bomber.

Oh, that was fortunate(!)

Yes.

He wasn't seriously hurt.
Just shellshock and concussion.

But this is what I mean by luck - an old
school friend of mine, Edna Springer,

nice girl, big feet,
well, she'd started working as a nurse

at the military hospital at Sun Chong.
So I used to write to David,

- but address the letters to her.
- Why?

Because I was engaged to your father.

He didn't think it was odd
being pen pals with an old school friend.

I wrote fifteen,

maybe twenty letters.

He only replied to the first one.

Oh, I was angry and hated him.

Once...l even wished that he was dead.

It was two years before I found out.

Oh, Mummy. He died?

No, he'd married Edna Springer.

I met her at the New Year sales
in Oxford Street.

She showed me pictures of the wedding.
One of those romantic military affairs

with the background
of shell craters and portable latrines.

Him with that smile...
and her with those feet.

I never realised
you married Daddy on the rebound.

Rebound? It was more like a ricochet!

Oh, no, I'm being unfair.
Your father's a good man.

You see, darling, life may be richer
and more exciting with men like David

and even Thing,

but with men like your father, well...

You always know the rates will be paid.

- Do you think your father heard that?
- I'm sure he didn't.

- No?
- No.

Perhaps I should have spoken louder.

- There you go.
- Oh, thank you.

Penny, I, um...

- Are you all right?
- What? Yeah, I'm fine.

You seem...strange.

I spoke with your mother.
It always gets me like that.

Pen, I've got something
very important to say.

Oh, yes, I've been going mad wondering
what this grave announcement can be.

- All right. I'm all ears.
- Well, Pen...

Recently I've been thinking a lot
about you and me.

You didn't insult me.

What?

I just said, "I'm all ears".

And usually you'd have made
some glib little quip.

"I've noticed. See much of Noddy?"

- Would I?
- Are you sure you're all right?

Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine.

- Will you just listen for a minute?
- Sorry.

Pen...I've known
quite a lot of girls in my time...

Well, not that many. Compared
with most fellas, hardly any at all.

Just one or two. You, mainly.

- But despite that...
- God! Did you put any tonic in this?

- Will you shut up for two seconds?
- So sorry. Hardly hear yourself drink?

- Look, will you listen to me?
- Carry on.

- Thank you. Pen...
- Before you go on...

God Almighty.

Is it anything to do with last night?

No, all I'm trying to say is...
Did something happen last night?

Well, yes.

Where was I?

- You mean you don't remember?
- Remember what?

For God's sake, we went to bed together!

Please, Vince, say something.

It's all right. She's my sister.

Perfect(!) Absolutely perfect.

I know we went to bed together,
but nothing happened.

You told me you had more stress
than a Concorde's wing.

- It didn't mean anything to you?
- Nothing happened.

- Well, it did for me.
- You must be easily pleased.

What I'm trying to say, you moron, is

don't you find it odd that something like
that could happen between...friends?

No.

You go to bed with all your friends?

No, I fancy you more than other blokes.

- Why are you doing that?
- Doing what?

- Feeling guilty.
- Me?

You're behaving like a child caught
stealing sweets. You smiled at her.

No, Pen, I had something stuck
in my teeth. I just went like that.

Oh, don't be so silly, Vince.

You don't have to feel guilty
or embarrassed because I'm here.

We're just friends. And friends
don't become angry or jealous

just because you choose to smile
at some...tart.

You can go and talk to her if you like.

I'm just a friend. Do you understand?

And that's all it is to you? You don't see
us as anything but just good friends?

Well, no. Do you?

Well, no. I suppose I don't either.

Oh, good. It's so nice to be with someone
I feel I can relax with.

We don't have to play silly mind games,

trying to make each other jealous.

- No, we're very adult, aren't we?
- Yes. Yes, we are.

Mmm. He's a good-looking fellow.

He doesn't do a lot for me, Pen.

Hm, lovely broad shoulders.

He hasn't got broad shoulders.
He's just got a little head.

- I didn't think you went for cavemen.
- Cavemen? Oh, come on, Vince.

Bet he's got a tattoo of a brontosaurus.

If I ever find out, I'll let you know.

You're not getting jealous, are you?

Me? Listen, Pen, if you want to make it
with the missing link, that's up to you.

- No more for me, thank you.
- I'm not getting you a drink.

I'm going to go talk to her. See you.

(Clears throat)

(coughs)

- Hi! I'm Penny!
- (Camp) Oh, hello! I'm Robin!

And then you must be Batman.

Well, er...bye.

Saucy little mare!

- Sorry to interrupt.
- Oh, you're not going, are you?

- Yes. I just brought this over for you.
- Thanks.

That's what friends are for.

You, eh, didn't crack it
with the Flintstones, then?

No, no. You'd have stood more chance.

Well, bye, then.

Er, Pen, I'll...

give you a ring?

Vince, will you promise me something?

- Name it.
- Don't go to Korea.

Who told you?

Is she your girlfriend?

No, we're...we're just good friends.

- Right, do you fancy a quick one?
- Thank you.

Oh, all right. We'll have a drink first.

(Phone rings)

Oh! Damn you, Vincent Pinner!

Well, come on, you idiot. Ring back.

I'm here now! Look, I'm here!

Ohh. Please.

Ring.

(Phone rings)

- (Vince) 'Hello?'
- Hello.

'Oh, hello, Pen. It's me, Vince.'

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