Original subtitles

[CROWD APPLAUDS]

Woo, woo!

Love you!

[WHOOPING]

[PHONE RINGS]

JILL: Got it!

[PHONE RINGS]

Hello, Pink Palace and Chinese Laundry, how may I help you?

VALERIE: Thank you, I'm sure that's very funny.

But I could be someone important. I could be calling about work.

Is he there?

Yes, hello, Mrs. T.

I'll just get him now.

Ritchie, it's your mom!

And how are you? How's the show?

It's nice, yeah. I've got a job for life there.

I'm very lucky.

Ritchie, where are you?

Coming!

JILL: Here he comes.

Here he is, taking his time, as always.

Hiya! Sorry, I was outside.

It's just a quick call, but I was just wondering about Christmas.

Oh, God, it's November.

Well, that's close enough.

Didn't see you last year.

Well, I thought we could all have a nice time.

I just don't know, I've got an audition.

For this thing on Scottish TV, police thing.

Well, that's nice. Do we get that?

No, it's only in Scotland.

I've not got it yet, but I need to sort of be on standby.

-But it's been ages since we saw you. -I know.

That's the job, sorry.

Well, just think about it though.

Please come home.

It's been such a long time, I'd love to see you.

I heard Birmingham Rep

they're doing a production of Hay Fever next summer.

-I could audition. -Birmingham?

How are you gonna get up there?

Well, I can. There are trains.

With toilets. I can manage.

ASH: Seriously though, what if you need a piss on stage?

RITCHIE: I'm not that bad, do you mind?

ROSCOE: No, but the thing is, you've done Hay Fever.

They're not gonna cast the same boy in Birmingham.

They don't do that, do they?

Not as a rule, but they might want me.

When has that ever happened?

There's gotta be a first time.

You don't need to make faces.

I'm not.

I …

I just think, let's get over this bit

'cause your tum's not very well, but you were like this in July

and you got much better, so let's wait for that to happen.

Then we can think about Birmingham.

Oh… you were brilliant in that show.

Oh, you were amazing!

ROSCOE: God, you were funny.

-I was good, wasn't I? -Absolutely brilliant.

You were, I'm not even kidding. You were the best thing I've ever seen.

[RITCHIE GIGGLES]

Mm, come on, you. Bedtime.

It's late, nearly half past seven.

[RITCHIE SIGHS]

["RUNNING UP THAT HILL" BY KATE BUSH PLAYING]

♪ It doesn't hurt me ♪

♪ Do you want to feel how it feels? ♪

♪ Do you want to know, know that it doesn't hurt me? ♪

♪ Do you want to hear about the deal… ♪

There now. Give you a good shake.

-Rattle, rattle, rattle… -[JILL CHUCKLES]

Night then, darling.

♪ And if I only could… ♪

And we need a word in the morning.

About your mom and dad.

-Up your bum. -Up yours too.

Night-night.

♪ Be running up that hill ♪

♪ Be running up that building ♪

♪ See if I only could ♪

♪ Oh ♪

[CLATTER IN DISTANCE]

Oh, look at you.

No, no, no, no.

I'm okay, I just fell. It's all right, I fell, that's all.

I just… feel a bit hot.

He was on AZT but he's been on DDI since August.

Honestly, I'm going into hospital on Wednesday for the Pentamidine

they can take a look at me then.

[PARAMEDIC GRUNTS]

Everything okay?

Yeah, Ritchie fell out of bed and he's got a bit of a temperature.

Tell him God blesses his soul.

Charity from downstairs says God blesses your soul!

Oh, I feel better already!

CHARITY: He's such a beautiful boy.

But you know what they say, don't you?

You know what the AIDS stands for?

What?

It stands for "Angels in Disguise."

They are preparing the way for his eternal life.

He's very lucky.

Yeah.

Well, Dr. Sullivan can take a look at you first thing.

Till then, no more scares, thank you very much.

Now get some sleep. And you two.

That's telling you. Now, do what she says.

I'll come back first thing.

And you, lover boy.

Night, then.

I'll be home tomorrow, so don't sell my bed, okay? I know you.

JILL: Too late!

-NURSE: How you getting home? -I'll get a taxi, don't worry.

I think Paul's awake.

No, I won't bother them now.

Could be your last chance.

We've got another lonely Joe.

No visitors.

No parents or sisters or anything.

He's got to have friends.

We keep saying, "Can we phone anyone?"

He says no, and…

He lies there all day, dying of shame.

Hey.

I heard you were in.

[SOBS]

Come and say hello.

He'd like that.

MAN: Here, have a seat…

PAUL'S BOYFRIEND: Hey.

Jill wants to say hello.

Jill Baxter.

She's here.

Hello, Paul.

Hello, sweetheart.

PAUL: Which one are you?

JILL: Jill. Friends with Ritchie.

Can't remember.

It's okay.

Never mind.

I can go if you want.

No.

I love you.

It's about time.

[CHUCKLING]

I left it a bit late.

I was busy.

I love you too.

DR. SULLIVAN: He's got all sorts of complications

but my main concern is the lymphoma in his chest.

We caught it early, but…

The next thing we do is to offer chemotherapy

but that's gonna make him even weaker.

So you'd say not?

It's his decision, but really

let's be sensible, let's say no.

I'm saying yes!

DR. SULLIVAN: I know, but Ritchie, you've got to look at the overall picture.

Could the chemo help?

Yes, yes, it could.

Well, there we are.

But we're saying the chemo could make you feel even worse.

Then let's find out.

I'm not gonna not have treatment, am I?

Now, shut up and wheel it in.

Ugh! Oh, my God, you're impossible!

You two are murderers and I'm going to call the police.

-JILL: Did I tell you he's an actor? -Oh, he knows that.

He's got my episode of Tom's Midnight Garden on VHS

and he pauses it on that bit where I bend over the barrel

and he has a little fiddle. Frankly, I look so good in that shot

I'd have a wank myself.

In fact, I have.

So, go and get my chemo.

Oh, here comes trouble!

C'est moi. Merci, madame.

-[NURSE CHUCKLES] -How'd it go with the chemo?

Oh, he's like Asterix the Gaul, that boy.

Indomitable.

He's sitting up, he's had some food.

Actually, I thought I'd pop in and see Paul, is that okay?

Oh yeah, he's okay. He's rallying.

We're havin' a good day. Room 703.

-Yep, I know, thanks. -See ya.

WOMAN [IN DISTANCE]: Hold on a minute.

Yes, we just need to make sure there's clean linen.

If you've come here to convert these people,

I will have you thrown out onto the street.

I swear, that man, Reggie Lessips

he's from the church, he asked for me and I came.

You know he's queer?

I have blessed him.

I thought you'd gone. They said you'd gone back to Nigeria.

I was in the west…

And I saw terrible things.

Ugh, my heart bleeds.

I went into hospitals and I saw people

locked away with no medicines.

These doors were locked, and the people behind them

were like animals.

I said, "Who are they?"

And they said, "They are the devils.

We let them die.

People with that disease."

But men and women, so many women and children too.

Have you got it?

-What if I did? -Have you got it, Roscoe?

-No. -Oh, God.

-I haven't got it, no. -Thank you.

-Thank you. -Don't thank God.

I just got lucky with who I fucked.

You know…

It is so difficult, Roscoe.

It is the hardest challenge the Lord gives us

to forgive.

-I don't want your forgiveness. -No.

I mean…

Can you forgive me?

Do you know who I keep thinking about?

Donald Basset.

Would we know if he was dead?

He'd have an obituary in The Stage, wouldn't he?

Might do. You don't know that it was him.

Yes, it was.

ASH: No, but it's kind of a good story.

He was ill and he infected you, but that version's a bit easy.

It cuts out the hundreds and hundreds of boys

you were having sex with at the same time.

-It wasn't just me. -No, we all did.

But that's what I mean, it's not really fair to blame Donald.

Just because he's the only boy whose name you can remember.

[LAUGHS] You cheeky bastard.

Say what you see.

Do you think I infected him?

I wasn't saying that.

Because I did.

With others.

'Cause I knew and I kept having sex.

I thought I'd stop

and I did a lot of times, I stopped a million times.

I stopped with you.

But there were nights with too much booze.

Actually, nights when I was stone-cold sober and if a boy just

looked at me in the right way

a boy with that look in his eye, I'd fuck him.

I would fuck him hard

and he could fuck me, all night, any way he likes.

I wonder how many I killed?

JILL: Don't say that.

RITCHIE: I knew it was wrong

and I kept on doing it.

Do you hate me now?

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACH]

[DOOR OPENS]

Here you are, at last!

Oh, my God, what's wrong with you?

It says infectious diseases. What the hell's that supposed to mean?

God's sake, Ritchie, what… what is it? What's happened, what's wrong?

What are you doing here?

We thought, surprise, we… we turned up

and then your neighbor, that woman downstairs

-she said you were here. -Oh, she would.

CLIVE: What… what's wrong, what is it?

Look, it's really nice to see you but I think we should all sit down

and have a little chat. It's a bit complicated to explain.

Evidently it's so complicated, you chose not to tell us anything.

-Now all I would like… -We said to them, what…

-They said infectious diseases… -…bit of common sense

-if that's not too much to ask. -You tell us. What…

-What's that mean? -Clive, Clive, Clive!

Richard. What's wrong with you?

I've just got…

He's got some infections

and problems with his gut and his lungs

and right now, there's a lymphoma

in his chest.

A lymphoma?

-JILL: In his chest. -VALERIE: But th… that's cancer.

Don't be ridiculous, that's

that's what lymphoma means, it means cancer.

Sort of, yeah.

Do you mean…

Have you got cancer and you didn't tell me?

It's a sort of cancer.

I only got it 'cause I'm not well. Um…

I've got AIDS.

I'm gay.

I'm homosexual.

I contracted HIV and I'm sorry, but now it's AIDS.

Where's your doctor?

It's a Saturday, I don't think he's in. He's called Dr. Sullivan but…

I… I… I wanna speak to a doctor.

VALERIE: Well, I'm quite sure you believe all this

and this whole thing has got completely out of control.

We'll get you better.

We'll get you better.

All right? Yeah.

We'll… we'll get all the shit, we'll clean it up.

I will scour it out of you. Okay?

You really are very young.

All of you! [LAUGHING] You should see your faces.

We thought Christmas, that's what we thought.

He won't come home for Christmas, so well, we'll surprise him in November.

I've brought presents, that's… That's from Lucy.

Uh, that is from Auntie Elaine.

What on earth's been going on?

I'm sorry.

Have you got cancer or have you got AIDS?

-RITCHIE: It's both. -JILL: One causes the other.

-Now, I don't need you… -RITCHIE: AIDS is like an immunity thing

so you get weak

and that causes the lymphoma.

My friend, Sarah, you remember Sarah?

How much did I like her, Ritchie, I thought she was so wonderful

and she had breast cancer and she died.

Are you telling me that she was weak?

That you… that you get cancer because you're weak?

That you catch cancer like catching a cold?

Because let me tell you, that's not how it works.

ASH: Okay, look, I know this is terrible

but, really, this place is looking after Ritchie

and-and they're doing the most brilliant job.

Jill's here every day, and I know we've only met a couple of times

but you might as well know I'm Ritchie's boyfriend.

Well, no, not really.

Well, I'm not not.

I know, but not now.

-ASH: No, but that's who I am. -Ash, just shut up, yeah?

-Ju… -It's not the right time.

If you could hear yourselves, you sound absurd.

Well, it's infectious, isn't it, AIDS?

It's completely infectious.

It's like smallpox, it's like leprosy, and it-it kills you.

That's what it does. So this isn't AIDS, is it?

They let us walk right in. So it can't be, can it?

NURSE: If you could wait, five or ten minutes

I'm gonna have a word with the registrar.. .

I want to speak to someone

-who knows my son! -Wait five or ten minutes.

-Who are seeing him. -Dr. Lucas knows Ritchie very well.

VALERIE: We were told Dr. Sullivan.

He's not on today, but Ritchie's got quite a number of doctors.

I don't know how much he's told you…

-And you never phoned the parents? -But Ritchie's got all sorts

-of different conditions. -My son is on this ward

and you don't phone me.

That's not our decision.

My son is in that room with… with cancer

and AIDS, and has got… What did she say?

She say he's got something wrong with his gut?

And you, you didn't think to phone.

We are not here, his parents are clearly not here

and you think that's wise, do you?

Like we aren't good for his health at all?

Is that right?

I'm afraid that's up to Ritchie.

His doctor is Dr. Sullivan.

Now, you get him, get him, get him!

NURSE: Hi, is that Suzie?

-It's Lorraine. We've got a situation… -[LOCK BUZZES]

[DOORBELL RINGS, LOCK BUZZES]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

I want a word with you.

JILL: Yes, I think we should.

There's a little sort of kitchen down here, they've got a room for families

-but there's someone in there. -Oh, okay.

Right.

How's Lucy?

I'm really very sorry.

-Do you want a tea or a coffee? -No, I don't want anything.

-I can put the kettle on. -I've said no.

I wanna say, and I'm not criticizing Ritchie

I just think you should know, I told him to tell you 100 times.

See, what you don't understand is this.

Boys are terrible, Jill.

They will do anything.

They are randy, they just are.

So when something like "gay" comes along

it's just another chance to…

To unload.

And someone like Ritchie, he's young and he's pretty

and there'll be lots of those men paying him attention

and so he goes…

Rutting, once in a while.

But that doesn't make him homosexual.

It's a little bit of fun.

But then you grow up.

I suppose, I don't know, maybe some boys are like that.

But then there's Ritchie.

Who's gay.

Absolutely, definitely gay. He's beautifully gay.

I'm sorry, but look at him.

I mean, he's an actor, he sings songs from the musicals

he's never had a girlfriend.

And now he's got a gay disease.

Yes.

Yes, he has.

Gosh.

-[FOOTSTEPS APPROACH] -I'm sorry.

[DOOR OPENS]

WOMAN: Don't mind me.

JILL: We're just having a chat.

WOMAN: I'm getting some squash, two ticks.

Uh, this is a private conversation.

WOMAN: That's all right.

How is he?

WOMAN: Sleeping.

Sandra's got a son, Derek, down the corridor.

This is Valerie.

SANDRA: I'll be gone in a minute.

[WATER POURS]

Do you think I should have known?

Maybe.

It's like there's this world of…

Secret little codes.

And they like that, boys.

They like secrets.

Who's this?

It's my son, Ritchie.

You didn't know Ritchie was gay?

[LAUGHS]

Jill, did you see that charity thing? Canceled.

Little bloody idiots.

They couldn't get the hours extended, she said.

Are you implying that's a problem?

I think they're just gonna move it to the pub next door.

-Shall we go back to Ritchie? -No.

-Excuse me, what do you mean? -What about?

Well, you… you seemed to be surprised that I didn't know about my son

like that makes me…

-One of your idiots. -Okay, we should leave this.

That's not what I said.

You implied it.

Oh, well. I didn't mean to imply anything, darling.

Pardon me for implying.

Let me make it clear, what the hell were you lookin' at?

I beg your pardon?

If you didn't know he was gay all those years

what did you see when he was 11?

When he was 15, 16?

How old is he? Thirty?

All 30 years and every little speck of him's bent as a nine-bob note

since the day he was born.

I'll ask you again, love, what were you lookin' at?

You're his mother.

You're supposed to think about him day and night.

So what the fuck were you doin'?

How dare you!

Get the door?

If I didn't know, it's 'cause I was being lied to.

All right, sweetheart, I'm done.

I wasn't…

I didn't…

Have I got this right?

I'm being blamed for not knowing my son when…

When you conspired

and moved heaven and earth to lie to me.

I wasn't lying.

You sat there next to him, in my house

time after time after time

with this, this great big elaborate lie.

I told you, I said every time, I told you I wasn't his girlfriend.

And then you sat there simpering, laughing at every word he said

and you think I'm the one who's deceived.

Never mind about him having a boyfriend, where the bloody hell is yours?

-I was doing what Ritchie wanted. -Is this what you are?

A chorus girl, running round after these boys with no life of your own?

Okay, but I don't really think this is about me.

But I think this is absolutely about you.

Because you stood in the way, you stood in the way.

If I couldn't see it, it's because you stood in the way.

You monstrous…

Big…

Bitch!

Have you found him yet?

No, but I'm phoning round.

What's your name?

-Lorraine Fletcher. -Noted.

-Where's my husband? -That's what I wanted to say.

He's in the TV lounge down there.

-Down where? -Down there.

VALERIE: Well, what's the point of this?

He's dying.

VALERIE: For God's sake! Is that supposed to help?

There's no cure, Val.

That's what they say.

That's what those…

Queers and those women

and their doctors all say, because they all do and they say

and they think the same things.

They all worship the same rubbish.

Now, you. You stop it!

Stop it, stop it!

You.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

I don't want you coming in here.

This is private.

I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry.

I want to know.

Are you infectious?

Well, I could be, yes.

I know it's caught from sex.

Oh, don't, Mom.

But how?

-How do you catch it? -It's… fluids.

Like blood, and, you know…

Oh, don't do this to me.

And spit?

Is it in your spit?

No one really knows. [SNIFFLES]

You are not infectious.

Not to me.

[SOBS]

My boy…

Oh, my boy.

My… my boy.

I'm sorry, Mom.

Oh…

You silly thing.

[SOBS] I wanted to tell you.

Oh, I know, sweetheart.

You are going to be fine.

I'm gonna take you home, and I can make you better.

[SEABIRDS CRY]

CLIVE: Your grandmother bought me a copy of this.

Do you remember?

-She had that great big bookcase. -[PHONE RINGS]

-No, no, no, no. -[PHONE RINGS]

Sorry, it's only me. How is he?

Not bad, thank you.

He's okay.

Can I talk to him?

He's fast asleep.

What did the consultant say?

Well, I'm afraid he was shocked that a boy in Ritchie's condition

could be given chemotherapy.

That was his choice.

So, now it's his fault?

Okay.

We thought we could get the ferry.

We'd love to see him.

I think it's best to wait.

We could just pop in for ten minutes, that's all.

I would remind you

that you had an awful lot of time with him when I didn't.

I'll tell him you called. Thank you, bye-bye.

Oh, Jesus Christ!

CLIVE: I'm reading him Watership Down, but I'm rubbish.

Can't do all the voices.

I said to him there's only one actor in this family.

Do you remember that Hay Fever?

Oh! It was brilliant.

You were so good in that.

I bought you some Garibaldi

'cause I thought if you get hungry, there's fruit in them.

RITCHIE: Bit dry.

I've still got that thrush.

-Who was that on the phone? -Jill.

She sends her love.

Is she gonna come visit?

She says she's very busy with work.

You can have a bit of TV.

I'll… I'll nip down the pub.

VALERIE: Well, yes, I thought you would.

-CLIVE: I'm allowed a drink. -Did I say you couldn't?

Thank you for the permission.

Now, I was thinking how much you used to love this.

-Do you remember? -It's okay, just sit down.

You were five years old and you'd dance around

because it was so funny, and you'd be a little mouse.

[LAUGHS]

[SIGHS]

Do you not remember?

And you loved the bit where it says, "How lucky we am."

["A WINDMILL IN OLD AMSTERDAM" BY RONNIE HILTON PLAYING]

♪ A mouse lived in a windmill in Old Amsterdam ♪

♪ A windmill with a mouse in and he was… ♪

Do you remember, because it changes the rhyme?

To rhyme with Amsterdam.

Yeah.

♪ Living in a windmill… ♪

How lucky we am.

♪ I saw a mouse ♪

Don't you think?

♪ There on the stair! ♪

How lucky we am.

♪ Right there ♪

♪ A little mouse with clogs on ♪

I'm a little late, sorry.

Stopped off for supplies, although this is far too good for you lot.

-Hello, darling. -Nice to see you.

-You all right? -Yeah.

No, no, I'm… I'm not stopping, if you don't mind.

What news from the rialto?

We spoke to that solicitor, he said technically Ritchie's mom and dad

-could be breaking the law. -He said that there's evidence

that Ritchie could be unsafe.

He said that medical care is definitely going to be worse on the Isle of Wight.

But so what? I mean, what are we gonna do? Take them to court?

I would! Fuck them, do it.

ASH: But the solicitor said that Ritchie said yes, that's the problem.

Right, so I've done my sums

and I've worked out that Ritchie did that voice-over for that Japanese cartoon.

I guess that sort of thing is repeated for at least five or six years

which amounts to £700, minus my 10%.

You should have this.

-As an advance. -JILL: What for?

Well, to go there. To the Isle of Wight.

Just move there properly, for as long as it takes.

That should get you a couple of rooms in a nice little B&B

or whatever they have on the Isle of Wight.

Just go.

Lay siege on the doorstep till they give in.

I can't go, I've got to work.

ROSCOE: Well, I'm all right.

If we take the car, we could get Ritchie out the house and drive him back.

No, I… I wasn't thinking of a rescue.

But we could.

You're going there for one reason and that's to say goodbye

because this only ends one way.

No, but he was ill last July and then he got better.

And one day, he won't.

I'm sorry, darling, but that is an absolute fact.

So take the money and fly.

Listen, I've gotta go.

If there's any money left, I'll have it. Good luck.

Give him my love!

["TELEPHONE AND RUBBER BAND" BY PENGUIN CAFE ORCHESTRA PLAYING]

That's five nights upfront, but we might be longer. Is that a problem?

That's fine for the next three weeks, but soon as we hit Christmas

we've got bookings.

I'll let you know soon as we can. Have you got a telephone?

It's called the Bay Tree House on the seafront.

We're just a 20-minute drive from your house.

VALERIE: What on earth have you done that for?

I told you, I said clearly, he's not well enough.

That's okay, we can wait. We 're here for as long as it takes.

You know what I don't understand, am I supposed to find this intimidating?

Valerie, we 're not causing trouble.

We're just here and we love him.

It's as simple as that.

If you ever want the afternoon off or just an hour to yourself, we can come.

Are you saying I can't cope?

I'm just saying, here we are

and I will phone every day until he's ready, okay?

Lots of love.

Okay, well, I'll try you again tomorrow.

Give him my love. Bye.

Okay, well, give him my love, tell him I said hello.

Thanks, Valerie, bye.

Just tell him we'd really love to see him and we're waiting, okay?

Let's say another five nights.

I really wanna see him and I think if you ask him, I bet he'll say the same.

Will you try?

♪ Roll out the barrel ♪

♪ We'll have a barrel of fun ♪

♪ Roll out the barrel ♪

♪ We've got the blues on the run ♪

So, Dr. Clare said if we can reduce the phenytoin

then, well, that's one less pill.

That's got to be good.

Now, I remember when your granddad was in hospital.

He said, "If only they'd stop giving me medicine, I'd be fine."

Do you remember him?

Yeah.

He was a terrible man.

What do people know?

In what way?

The neighbors, Aunty Kath?

Do they know what's wrong with me?

It's none of their business.

I don't wanna be secret.

Now, you just think about getting better.

Boys die in London…

And they say it's cancer…

Or pneumonia.

And they don't say what it really is.

Look, maybe we should think about tea.

But it's a lie and I don't want that.

Do you know why?

I had so much fun.

[CHUCKLES]

I had all those boys.

-I had hundreds of them. -Oh, Ritchie, don't talk like that.

And do you know what, I can remember every single one of them.

Some boy's hair or his lips…

The way he laughed at a joke.

His bedroom…

The stairs…

His photographs…

His face as he comes.

Seeing him across a club six years later and thinking, "Oh.

That's him.

And he's with someone…

And he looks happy."

And I think, "Oh, that's nice.

'Cause they were great."

Some of them are bastards

but they were all great.

That's what people will forget.

That it was so much fun.

Do you understand what I mean?

No.

That's why I need to see Jill.

Will you get her for me? Please?

[SEABIRDS CRY]

Hi, got your message.

It wasn't so cold at the time.

I should have said let's meet in that café.

Well, we can go there.

He said he wanted to see you, so…

Here I am.

I should apologize, really.

I haven't handled this very well. I realize that now.

And I'm sorry.

No, I'm sorry too.

It was a bit mad, turning up like that. I just didn't know what else to do.

You made things very difficult.

Okay.

And I'm sorry, but all we wanna do is see him

and say hello and give him our love.

He died yesterday.

Yesterday afternoon.

[SOUND FADES]

[VALERIE WHINES]

[WHINES]

[CLIVE SOBS]

JILL: Yesterday?

They said it was his heart.

Pressure from the lymphoma.

No pain, they said, before you start, so it wasn't my fault.

Would've happened wherever he was.

Did he say anything?

Not really.

But what was the last thing he said?

He asked for some water.

Yesterday.

You didn't think…

We were sitting in the B&B, you couldn't tell us last night?

My son had died, you weren't top of my list.

But…

I really did get this wrong…

And I'm sorry about that.

You know, it… it might be nice if we found that café.

There's so much I want to ask.

All those years in… in London, there must be a thousand stories.

Were you with him?

Yesterday?

Were you there at the end?

-I'd gone downstairs. -He was on his own.

-Yes. -There was no one with him.

That's not my fault.

Actually…

It is your fault, Mrs. Tozer.

All of this…

Is your fault.

Well, thank you very much.

That's ridiculous.

But it is.

Right from the start.

'Cause I don't know what happened to you

to make that house so loveless.

But that's why Ritchie grew up so ashamed of himself.

I think we're finished.

And then he killed people.

And what is that supposed to mean?

He was ashamed… and he kept on being ashamed.

He kept the shame going

by having sex with men

and infecting them and then running away.

'Cause that's what shame does, Valerie.

It makes him think he deserves it.

The wards are full of men who think they deserve it.

They are dying

and a little bit of them thinks, "Yes.

This is right.

I brought this on myself, it's my fault

because the sex that I love is killing me. "

I mean, it's astonishing.

The perfect virus came along to prove you right.

So that's what happened, in your house.

He died because of you.

They all die because of you.

VALERIE: I didn't know.

[ROSCOE SOBS]

[GASPS]

[SOBS]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

-[LAUGHING] -Merry Christmas.

ROSCOE: Jill.

[JILL SOBS]

I'm sorry.

[LAUGHING, CHATTERING]

Do you remember at Queen's Gate when he thought he'd lost it?

I might have… [LAUGHING]

That was your mother's.

Cheers…

-Cheers. -Cheers.

Cheers.

[SOBS]

ASH: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

ROSCOE: Shh…

[ASH SOBS]

-Hiya, you okay? -Hiya, not bad.

-Hey. -Hi, Jill.

[JILL KNOCKS]

Hello there. Hi.

Do you mind?

I'm Jill.

What's your name?

Marcus.

You okay, Marcus? Anything I can get for you?

No.

Well…

I might just sit here for a bit, if you don't mind.

Is that okay?

Yeah.

Good.

RITCHIE: "She made good view of me indeed, so much that sure me thought her eyes

had lost her tongue."

But this is a woman's speech!

So what? I'm being radical.

Now shut up, heathens! Where was I?

"I left no ring with her."

No, I've done that, hold on.

ROSCOE: Ritchie, can I say you're terrible?

No, you can't. Fuck off.

"For she did speak in starts distractedly.

She loves me, sure

the cunning of her passion invites me in this churlish messenger.

None of my lord's ring?

Why, he sent her none.

I am the man."

[LAUGHING]

"If it be so, as it is

poor lady.

She were better love a dream."

-[SEAGULL CRIES] -[SCREAMING, LAUGHING]

[CHEERING]

-[ASH WHISTLES] -ROSCOE: Yes!

["EVERYBODY HURTS" BY R.E.M PLAYING]

♪ When your day is long ♪

♪ And the night ♪

♪ The night is yours alone ♪

♪ When you're sure you've had enough ♪

♪ Of this life… ♪