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1
00:00:03,420 --> 00:00:04,420
Mr. Geiss, I'm so sorry.
2
00:00:04,671 --> 00:00:05,991
I just found out
that you're here.
3
00:00:06,215 --> 00:00:08,509
I'd have my assistant
sit on his naughty stool
4
00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:10,052
if he didn't love it so much.
5
00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:11,845
No apologies.
6
00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:13,972
I'm just admiring
your bulb cover.
7
00:00:14,264 --> 00:00:15,641
Thank you, sir.
8
00:00:15,933 --> 00:00:17,100
Why don't you, uh...
9
00:00:17,392 --> 00:00:18,936
Are you all right?
10
00:00:19,228 --> 00:00:20,228
It's the diabetes.
11
00:00:20,437 --> 00:00:22,272
I'm light-headed all the time.
12
00:00:22,564 --> 00:00:23,732
I can't see a damn thing.
13
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:25,084
We're all getting older, sir.
14
00:00:25,108 --> 00:00:25,776
Tell me about it.
15
00:00:26,068 --> 00:00:27,778
My baby girl is getting married.
16
00:00:28,070 --> 00:00:30,155
She and her fiancé are out
17
00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:33,367
choosing floral
arrangements right now.
18
00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:35,702
Fire island, really?
19
00:00:35,994 --> 00:00:36,994
I'd love to come out.
20
00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:37,829
Fight the surf together,
21
00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:39,998
light a fire, check
each other for ticks.
22
00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:42,793
Kathy, I think I just
found the perfect place
23
00:00:43,085 --> 00:00:44,419
for our honeymoon.
24
00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:46,880
You're getting a
fine son-in-law, sir.
25
00:00:47,172 --> 00:00:49,841
Banks would do
anything for the company.
26
00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:52,553
I know there's no love
lost between you and Devin.
27
00:00:52,844 --> 00:00:56,098
You've both been competing
for my job for almost a year.
28
00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:57,891
Hanging in there
while so many others
29
00:00:58,183 --> 00:01:00,602
cracked under the
pressure, like Bob Duncan.
30
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:03,605
The head of the stress
ball division hanged himself.
31
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:06,608
Now it's come down
to you and Banks.
32
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,777
This decision was
not easy, Jack.
33
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:10,696
Banks is joining my family.
34
00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:13,155
I understand, sir.
35
00:01:15,993 --> 00:01:19,162
But I'm not running a
family, I'm running a business,
36
00:01:19,454 --> 00:01:20,622
so I'm going with you.
37
00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:23,500
Congratulations, you're
going to run this company.
38
00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:26,253
Oh, my god!
39
00:01:26,545 --> 00:01:27,625
Oh, thank you!
40
00:01:27,838 --> 00:01:30,173
I told myself I wasn't
going to do this.
41
00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:31,967
Oh, happy day!
42
00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:34,761
It's all right. You
get one cry in life.
43
00:01:35,053 --> 00:01:36,513
You've chosen well.
44
00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:38,165
When will this be
made public, sir?
45
00:01:38,390 --> 00:01:40,434
I want my mother to
know before she dies
46
00:01:40,726 --> 00:01:42,394
so she goes to her
grave a defeated woman.
47
00:01:42,686 --> 00:01:44,521
Well only the two
of us can know now.
48
00:01:44,813 --> 00:01:47,107
I've got to present
it to the board.
49
00:01:47,399 --> 00:01:49,568
You've got to get your
successor in place.
50
00:01:49,860 --> 00:01:51,278
I've got a short list ready.
51
00:01:51,570 --> 00:01:52,779
Well, word of advice,
52
00:01:53,071 --> 00:01:55,741
whoever you choose has
got to be someone you trust.
53
00:01:56,033 --> 00:01:59,036
I guess that rules out
the federal reserve.
54
00:02:06,335 --> 00:02:14,176
♪ ♪
55
00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:24,186
What do you want me to do, Liz?
56
00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:27,314
Oh, you idiot with
your stupid face!
57
00:02:27,606 --> 00:02:30,400
You look like gene Simmons
had sex with a basset hound!
58
00:02:30,692 --> 00:02:32,319
Not cool, Liz. It's your fault.
59
00:02:32,611 --> 00:02:35,030
Oh, it's my fault that
we pulled an all-nighter
60
00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:37,157
and then you lost
the entire script
61
00:02:37,449 --> 00:02:39,743
because you downloaded
a virus on my computer?
62
00:02:40,035 --> 00:02:40,744
First of all,
63
00:02:41,036 --> 00:02:42,954
the subject of the email
was "check this out."
64
00:02:43,246 --> 00:02:45,046
You expect me not to
open that? Oh, you moron!
65
00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:47,250
And second of
all, it is your fault
66
00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:49,020
because if you hadn't
created this show,
67
00:02:49,044 --> 00:02:49,753
we wouldn't even be here!
68
00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:51,045
Yeah, Liz sucks!
69
00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:54,389
Do you think this is
where I wanted to end up?
70
00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:55,591
I had dreams.
71
00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:57,135
I was gonna live
with the gorillas.
72
00:03:00,097 --> 00:03:02,683
Is it the 8 of diamonds?
73
00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:04,601
Nope.
74
00:03:04,893 --> 00:03:06,937
Pay attention to
me! I'm inconsolable.
75
00:03:07,229 --> 00:03:08,563
Uh-oh, what happened, Tre?
76
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:11,274
Tracy junior left his
music stick at home.
77
00:03:11,566 --> 00:03:12,734
His flute.
78
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,337
So I drove to the
school to give it to him
79
00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:15,481
and guess what I discovered.
80
00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:17,155
Excuse me, I...
81
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,200
Ugh.
82
00:03:22,661 --> 00:03:23,661
He didn't invite you
83
00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:24,204
to "bring your dad
to school day"?
84
00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:26,373
What did you do, sir?
85
00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:30,877
If I'm such a bad dad,
86
00:03:31,169 --> 00:03:32,629
why are we all dancing?
87
00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:37,509
My own son is
ashamed of his father.
88
00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:39,177
That's horrible.
89
00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:40,637
Everyone knows the only thing
90
00:03:40,929 --> 00:03:44,182
we should be ashamed
of is our bodies.
91
00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:45,475
They think I'm a joke
92
00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:46,184
'cause I clown
around for a living.
93
00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:48,311
I gotta do something important
94
00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:50,147
so that my children
will respect me,
95
00:03:50,439 --> 00:03:52,107
like be a senator or a wizard.
96
00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,609
Or you can open a
school in Africa like Oprah.
97
00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:57,487
Everybody calm down!
98
00:03:57,779 --> 00:03:59,364
Think of an idea.
99
00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:02,701
Something that'll
change the world.
100
00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:03,993
Eureka!
101
00:04:04,119 --> 00:04:05,119
What is it, Tre?
102
00:04:05,328 --> 00:04:06,580
We should call Eureka.
103
00:04:06,872 --> 00:04:07,912
She always has good ideas.
104
00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:13,253
Lemon.
105
00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:14,545
Lemon, are you in there?
106
00:04:14,713 --> 00:04:17,549
Oh, Jack, I was just reading
about gorilla researchers
107
00:04:17,841 --> 00:04:20,552
for a sketch we're
doing making fun of them
108
00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:22,324
for devoting their
lives to the jungle
109
00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:24,139
and its noble inhabitants.
110
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:26,057
Lemon, I want to
share a secret with you.
111
00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:29,144
I spoke with Don Geiss.
112
00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:30,436
A few days from now,
113
00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:33,273
it will be officially
announced...
114
00:04:33,565 --> 00:04:35,317
That I am the next
chairman of ge.
115
00:04:36,526 --> 00:04:38,695
Oh, my god! Congratulations.
116
00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:42,491
Um... hugging.
117
00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:43,283
It's so ethnic.
118
00:04:43,575 --> 00:04:45,243
Why don't we, uh...
119
00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:47,245
Well, I still have
to be approved,
120
00:04:47,537 --> 00:04:48,657
but that's just a formality.
121
00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:50,540
Geiss has stacked
the board of directors
122
00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:52,112
with the most
reliable collection
123
00:04:52,167 --> 00:04:53,167
of sycophantic yes men
124
00:04:53,418 --> 00:04:54,978
this side of an Al
Franken book signing.
125
00:04:55,086 --> 00:04:56,922
His golf cronies,
his army buddies,
126
00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:58,965
various unemployable
family members,
127
00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:00,257
and his hunting dogs.
128
00:05:00,509 --> 00:05:02,052
The board won't be a problem.
129
00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:03,887
Well again, congratulations.
130
00:05:04,179 --> 00:05:09,100
Why do I smell self-tanning
cream and teeth whitener?
131
00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:10,392
Banks.
132
00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:12,728
Hi, Jack.
133
00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:14,147
Devin.
134
00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:15,833
Once they cast Clay
aiken in spamalot,
135
00:05:15,857 --> 00:05:17,001
I knew it was only
a matter of time
136
00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:17,609
before you showed up here.
137
00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:18,944
Oh, when I'm living here
138
00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:20,236
and running this company,
139
00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:21,863
I'll go see him every week...
140
00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:25,116
Until spamalot closes.
141
00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:27,244
Or he leaves the show.
142
00:05:29,204 --> 00:05:30,205
Oh, I almost forgot.
143
00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:32,099
I'm having my bachelor
party tomorrow night.
144
00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:33,124
Bachelor party? Indeed.
145
00:05:33,416 --> 00:05:34,876
The hottest girls
from New York's
146
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:36,938
top boob shacks are
removing their brassieres.
147
00:05:36,962 --> 00:05:39,172
And I kinda want to get
to know my new home,
148
00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:41,633
so I'm gonna have the
party here on the TGS Stage.
149
00:05:41,925 --> 00:05:43,426
On my Stage? No way.
150
00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:45,011
Oh, hey there, little guy.
151
00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:48,305
What the hell?
152
00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:49,140
We have rehearsal.
He can't tell me...
153
00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:50,432
No, no, no, no, no...
154
00:05:50,475 --> 00:05:51,661
The most important
thing is to know
155
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,325
who you can trust
and who you can't trust,
156
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,021
and that man cannot be trusted.
157
00:05:55,313 --> 00:05:57,041
What are you worrying
about? You have the job.
158
00:05:57,065 --> 00:05:58,225
It's not over till it's over.
159
00:05:58,400 --> 00:05:59,568
The game is still on...
160
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:02,737
And nobody plays it like Banks.
161
00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:05,323
Stay clear of him, little buddy.
162
00:06:08,493 --> 00:06:11,204
Then after you
carbonate it, you drink it!
163
00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:13,290
Sounds like soda pop.
164
00:06:13,582 --> 00:06:13,957
Damn it!
165
00:06:14,249 --> 00:06:15,959
Why is leaving your
children a legacy
166
00:06:16,251 --> 00:06:17,836
that'll live forever so hard?
167
00:06:18,128 --> 00:06:19,337
It's been almost half an hour.
168
00:06:19,629 --> 00:06:21,631
Maybe we should take
a break, Mr. Jordan.
169
00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:24,968
Yeah, I need to clear
my thoughtcicles.
170
00:06:27,345 --> 00:06:29,055
Which one of my
two favorite pastimes
171
00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:31,141
shall I indulge in?
172
00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:34,227
Video games or pornography!
173
00:06:38,773 --> 00:06:39,773
That's it!
174
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:43,278
Make a porn video game!
175
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:00,629
Hey, Liz.
176
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:01,421
It is Liz, right?
177
00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:02,713
Mm-hmm.
178
00:07:02,881 --> 00:07:04,174
Where's your buddy Jack?
179
00:07:04,466 --> 00:07:05,550
Packing up his office?
180
00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:07,469
I don't know
anything about Jack,
181
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:08,881
so you're wasting your time.
182
00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:10,137
Huh.
183
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:12,182
So you don't know about him
184
00:07:12,474 --> 00:07:14,392
accidentally selling
NBC to some Germans?
185
00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:16,478
Uh, no.
186
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:17,770
Really?
187
00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:19,373
'Cause rumor has
it that he's trying
188
00:07:19,397 --> 00:07:20,607
to pull a death spiral:
189
00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:21,959
Inflating the company's value,
190
00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:24,069
shorting his own stock
and then making a killing.
191
00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:26,404
What... no, that's
completely not true.
192
00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:28,239
Jack was nowhere
near that meeting.
193
00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:29,866
He wasn't even in New York
194
00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:31,618
'cause he was off
with his girlfriend
195
00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:36,456
leaving me in charge,
so take that, Liz.
196
00:07:36,748 --> 00:07:38,291
Oh, god.
197
00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:39,583
That was so easy.
198
00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:41,394
Like taking candy
from one of those guys
199
00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:43,148
who gives out candy
at gay night clubs.
200
00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:44,965
Oh, my god. Please
don't say anything.
201
00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:46,257
I'll give you Kenneth.
202
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:52,013
Well, as enticing as that is,
203
00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:53,890
I'm straight now.
204
00:07:54,182 --> 00:07:55,767
I think that my
future father-in-law
205
00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:59,354
needs to hear about
Jack's little career killer.
206
00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:01,147
Well, then he'll
also need to know
207
00:08:01,439 --> 00:08:03,066
about the security
camera footage
208
00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:05,252
of you cheating on his
daughter with another woman.
209
00:08:05,276 --> 00:08:09,948
What?
210
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:10,949
No.
211
00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:12,450
No! No!
212
00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:14,035
Ah! Ew!
213
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:15,912
No! Oh, god!
214
00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:21,543
You loved it!
215
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,670
A porn video game?
It can't be done.
216
00:08:23,962 --> 00:08:25,005
Look, Tre,
217
00:08:25,296 --> 00:08:26,816
history's greatest
perverts have tried:
218
00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:28,883
Walt Disney, Larry
flynt, the Japanese,
219
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:31,302
but they can't do it because
of the uncanny valley.
220
00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:32,634
Let me show you something.
221
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:33,805
Check out this chart.
222
00:08:34,097 --> 00:08:35,097
You see,
223
00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:36,933
as artificial
representations of humans
224
00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:38,285
become more and more realistic,
225
00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:40,395
they reach a point where
they stop being endearing
226
00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:41,687
and become creepy.
227
00:08:41,813 --> 00:08:42,981
Tell it to me in star wars.
228
00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:46,026
All right, we like
R2D2 and C3PO.
229
00:08:46,317 --> 00:08:47,317
They're nice.
230
00:08:47,485 --> 00:08:48,765
And up here we
have a real person
231
00:08:48,903 --> 00:08:49,946
like Han Solo.
232
00:08:50,238 --> 00:08:52,365
He acts like he doesn't
care, but he does.
233
00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:54,909
But down here we
have a cgi storm trooper
234
00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:56,828
or Tom Hanks in
the polar express.
235
00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:58,830
I'm scared! Get me out of there!
236
00:08:59,122 --> 00:08:59,789
That's the problem.
237
00:09:00,081 --> 00:09:01,081
You're in the valley now
238
00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:01,833
and it's impossible to get out.
239
00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:03,460
That's where you're wrong.
240
00:09:03,752 --> 00:09:05,545
I was born to
design a video game
241
00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:07,231
where characters get
weird with each other
242
00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:08,506
for golden points.
243
00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:10,967
My genius will not be denied.
244
00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:12,259
I'm like Mozart.
245
00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:14,405
You're like that guy that
was always jealous of Mozart.
246
00:09:14,429 --> 00:09:15,429
Salieri?
247
00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:17,515
No, thank you. I already ate.
248
00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:19,934
You will not deter me.
249
00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:23,480
The world is gonna remember
the name Tracy Jordan.
250
00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:34,491
Wow. Well played, Lemon.
251
00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:36,703
To get through it, I
pretended he was a sandwich.
252
00:09:36,951 --> 00:09:38,311
It's good to have
you in my corner.
253
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:39,079
Hey, you know,
254
00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:40,455
I've always got your back.
255
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:45,460
Lemon,
256
00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:48,088
where do you see
yourself in five years?
257
00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:51,674
Realistically, teaching
improv on cruise ships.
258
00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:53,885
Lemon, I'm promoting you
259
00:09:54,177 --> 00:09:56,012
to head of east coast television
260
00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:57,490
and microwave oven programming.
261
00:09:57,514 --> 00:09:58,598
What?
262
00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:00,517
When did you get
microwaves back?
263
00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:02,310
You're going to be my successor.
264
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,729
No... no, I'm not an executive.
265
00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:06,815
Executives are,
like, huh-huh-huh.
266
00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:08,441
And I'm, like, haa.
267
00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:10,151
I mean, I'm a creative person.
268
00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:12,296
Sure, there are times
when my job is frustrating,
269
00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:14,906
like when Lutz calls in
sick with march madness,
270
00:10:15,198 --> 00:10:16,616
but I mostly love it.
271
00:10:16,908 --> 00:10:18,618
This is the starting salary.
272
00:10:22,664 --> 00:10:23,664
Suck it, monkeys!
273
00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:25,125
I'm goin' corporate!
274
00:10:31,005 --> 00:10:32,924
Word is the board is
meeting later this week.
275
00:10:33,424 --> 00:10:34,984
Guys must be close
to making a decision.
276
00:10:35,176 --> 00:10:36,445
I wouldn't know
anything about that.
277
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:38,054
He guys, let's
change the subject
278
00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:41,224
to sucking at golf, so Donaghy
has something to talk about.
279
00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:45,240
I'm sorry about that.
I'm a little nervous.
280
00:10:45,353 --> 00:10:47,063
Don't apologize.
You're a natural.
281
00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:48,481
I'm feeling pretty drunk.
282
00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:50,733
Well it's business
drunk. It's like rich drunk.
283
00:10:51,025 --> 00:10:52,044
Either way, it's legal to drive.
284
00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:53,188
All right, gentlemen,
285
00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:54,236
we should do some work.
286
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:55,530
Boo!
287
00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:56,990
You suck, Stan!
288
00:10:59,117 --> 00:11:00,386
As you know, we've
sunk a lot of money
289
00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:03,371
into developing this new
microwave start button.
290
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:05,103
It's been four years
and $10 million.
291
00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:06,686
I think it's time
we pull the trigger.
292
00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:08,209
What do you think?
293
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:09,701
I kind of like the old button.
294
00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:11,337
Button classic. I love it.
295
00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:12,338
Button classic?
296
00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:13,798
It's hip and homey
297
00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:15,967
oh, my god, guys.
We're crushing it!
298
00:11:17,302 --> 00:11:18,803
Your first executive decision
299
00:11:19,095 --> 00:11:20,614
and you've already saved
this company $2 million
300
00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:21,638
in future R and D.
301
00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:22,890
But what if I'm wrong?
302
00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:24,267
There is no wrong.
303
00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:26,199
Lemon, you just have
to find a subordinate
304
00:11:26,477 --> 00:11:27,979
you can push the blame onto.
305
00:11:28,271 --> 00:11:29,551
That's why I love
jorgenson here.
306
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:34,253
I think you're ready
to meet the old man.
307
00:11:34,277 --> 00:11:36,905
Jeez, Jack, offer to
buy a girl dinner first.
308
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:38,197
Classic Lemon!
309
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:43,870
♪ ♪
310
00:11:44,162 --> 00:11:45,802
I've never seen you
like this, Mr. Jordan.
311
00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:47,624
This project is consuming you.
312
00:11:47,916 --> 00:11:49,417
No, for the first
time in my life
313
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:50,709
I know my purpose.
314
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:51,961
I'm doing this
315
00:11:52,253 --> 00:11:53,922
for my children.
316
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:55,882
My genius has come alive,
317
00:11:56,174 --> 00:11:57,276
like toys when
your back is turned.
318
00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:58,968
I see the potential for erotica
319
00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:00,678
in everything around me.
320
00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:01,679
This cup, this table...
321
00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:03,598
Even you, Kenneth.
322
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:06,559
Well, I am wearing a
cuffed trouser today.
323
00:12:06,851 --> 00:12:08,287
Tracy, what are you doing?
They need you in wardrobe.
324
00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:09,938
I'm inventing a porn video game.
325
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:12,523
Let this man work! No
one is to disturb him!
326
00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:13,975
Don't hold your breath, Pete.
327
00:12:14,108 --> 00:12:14,651
It can't be done or else
328
00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:16,383
I would've solved
it a long time ago.
329
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:19,072
Yeah, I would have.
330
00:12:25,954 --> 00:12:27,038
Hey, nerds!
331
00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:28,410
Guess who's got two thumbs,
332
00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:29,749
speaks limited French,
333
00:12:30,041 --> 00:12:31,161
and hasn't cried once today?
334
00:12:31,209 --> 00:12:33,461
This moi.
335
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:34,921
Liz.
336
00:12:35,213 --> 00:12:36,547
Hi.
337
00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:38,275
You can't be serious about
going off with Donaghy.
338
00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:39,717
How can you
abandon me like this?
339
00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:41,761
No, I'm gonna
promote you outta here.
340
00:12:42,053 --> 00:12:43,213
You're gonna be an executive!
341
00:12:43,471 --> 00:12:44,847
I don't want to be an executive.
342
00:12:45,139 --> 00:12:48,142
This is your starting salary.
343
00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:51,896
I know.
344
00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:59,862
♪ ♪
345
00:13:00,154 --> 00:13:02,156
Uh, Don.
346
00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:03,688
I'd like you to meet Liz Lemon.
347
00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:05,368
Aren't you the gal who pioneered
348
00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:06,953
the button classic campaign?
349
00:13:07,245 --> 00:13:08,246
That was me!
350
00:13:08,538 --> 00:13:10,665
Where the hell has
Donaghy been hiding you?
351
00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:12,959
Oh, my blood sugar is dropping.
352
00:13:13,251 --> 00:13:15,104
Liz, sweetie, can you
run out to the dessert table
353
00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:16,128
and get me something?
354
00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:18,212
Oh, sure, but you should
know that I work for tips.
355
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:19,841
Ha!
356
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:23,386
You got the charm and spark
of a young Leona Helmsley.
357
00:13:28,516 --> 00:13:32,812
♪ ♪
358
00:13:33,104 --> 00:13:34,814
Is that...
359
00:13:35,106 --> 00:13:36,106
Is he finished?
360
00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:38,026
Not yet, but don't disturb him.
361
00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:39,902
He can't keep going like this.
362
00:13:40,194 --> 00:13:42,447
He was up for
six hours straight.
363
00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:52,582
My god.
364
00:13:52,874 --> 00:13:55,293
He's a genius.
365
00:13:58,504 --> 00:14:03,634
♪ ♪
366
00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:06,179
Ugh, look at that loser,
367
00:14:06,471 --> 00:14:08,222
sitting all alone and sad.
368
00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:10,725
He's like me
yesterday. I hate him.
369
00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:12,017
Oh, I don't know, Lemon.
370
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:14,330
I'm actually starting to feel
sorry for the poor bastard.
371
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:17,815
Hoo, boy, got your period?
372
00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:19,400
Whoo! Business drunk!
373
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,110
More business juice, please!
374
00:14:21,402 --> 00:14:24,864
Oh, right... Geiss!
375
00:14:25,156 --> 00:14:26,783
So are you enjoying the party?
376
00:14:27,075 --> 00:14:29,077
Wha... how could I not be?
377
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:31,788
Just can't wait to
take this sexual energy
378
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:33,080
back to Kathy.
379
00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:36,876
Banks, don't do this.
Don't marry Kathy.
380
00:14:37,168 --> 00:14:39,003
It may not be worth it.
381
00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:40,630
Why not?
382
00:14:40,922 --> 00:14:42,441
We're absolutely
perfect for each other.
383
00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:45,134
She loves that I work
out a lot and talk to people.
384
00:14:45,426 --> 00:14:46,761
And I love how she enjoys
385
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:50,973
crawling into cabinets and vents
386
00:14:51,265 --> 00:14:52,600
and other enclosed spaces.
387
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,292
Like behind the
dryer, for instance.
388
00:14:54,519 --> 00:14:56,062
You don't really
love this woman.
389
00:14:56,354 --> 00:14:58,474
Look how miserable you are
at your own bachelor party.
390
00:14:58,648 --> 00:15:01,359
That's not why I'm
miserable, you idiot.
391
00:15:01,651 --> 00:15:04,237
I'd marry 1,000 Kathy
Geisses to be CEO.
392
00:15:04,529 --> 00:15:06,989
I'm miserable because I
know that I'm not getting it.
393
00:15:07,281 --> 00:15:08,366
Yeah.
394
00:15:08,658 --> 00:15:11,744
Geiss told me that it
was gonna be you, Jack.
395
00:15:12,036 --> 00:15:14,038
At my own sham bachelor party.
396
00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:17,834
Mr. Geiss, I'm
sorry it took so long.
397
00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:19,335
Mr. Geiss?
398
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,630
Oh, blurgh!
399
00:15:25,049 --> 00:15:26,551
So go ahead, Donaghy.
400
00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:28,219
Rub it in my face.
401
00:15:28,511 --> 00:15:30,151
Normally I'd say, "I
bet you'd like that,"
402
00:15:30,388 --> 00:15:31,388
but today I won't.
403
00:15:31,556 --> 00:15:33,141
Devin, I'm the only other person
404
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:35,577
who understands what you
were willing to do for this job
405
00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:36,801
and how devastated you must be
406
00:15:36,978 --> 00:15:37,996
that you're not going to get it.
407
00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:39,700
It's like when Christian
won project runway
408
00:15:39,856 --> 00:15:43,025
even though rami was
clearly the better draper.
409
00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:44,444
Oh, god.
410
00:15:44,735 --> 00:15:45,879
I've got to call
this wedding off.
411
00:15:45,903 --> 00:15:47,488
Devin,
412
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:49,824
I just want you to know...
413
00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:52,201
I hate-respect you.
414
00:15:52,493 --> 00:15:53,619
And I you.
415
00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:56,580
I think Geiss is dead.
416
00:15:56,831 --> 00:15:58,166
We've got to call Dr. Spaceman.
417
00:16:01,419 --> 00:16:08,509
♪ ♪
418
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:10,470
Duet becomes a trio.
419
00:16:10,761 --> 00:16:11,888
A trio becomes a quartet.
420
00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:13,514
And on and on.
421
00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:14,806
Do you have it?
422
00:16:14,849 --> 00:16:15,849
You go too fast!
423
00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:23,975
♪ ♪
424
00:16:50,635 --> 00:16:52,720
Argh!
425
00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:58,392
I've given my whole life to porn
426
00:16:58,684 --> 00:16:59,724
and he does it in one day!
427
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:02,146
One day!
428
00:17:02,438 --> 00:17:03,439
Aahh!
429
00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:06,605
What's wrong with him, Leo?
430
00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:09,195
Well, to the untrained eye,
he'd appear to be what we
431
00:17:09,487 --> 00:17:10,797
in the medical
community call "sleeping."
432
00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:12,615
But he is, in fact,
in a diabetic coma,
433
00:17:12,907 --> 00:17:16,702
which could've been avoided
by what we call "eating."
434
00:17:18,412 --> 00:17:19,580
Do whatever you can, Leo.
435
00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:20,872
He has to wake up.
436
00:17:20,957 --> 00:17:22,041
Okay.
437
00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:23,501
This is the gross part.
438
00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:30,716
Ew ew ew ew aah!
439
00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:31,592
Ew, almost done.
440
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:33,594
Almost done... ah!
441
00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:35,846
Ooh... blah!
442
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:38,432
Oh, damn it.
443
00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:39,884
That shot was just a placebo.
444
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:43,104
I was hoping this
was psychological.
445
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:44,876
He may not be
faking it for attention.
446
00:17:45,106 --> 00:17:46,482
Jack, have you seen Don?
447
00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:48,484
Oh, boy, that doesn't look good.
448
00:17:48,776 --> 00:17:50,528
Don't panic, jorgenson.
It's under control.
449
00:17:50,820 --> 00:17:52,280
He just has to say one sentence.
450
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:53,692
Couldn't you just, you know,
451
00:17:53,823 --> 00:17:55,303
inject something
right into his heart?
452
00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:56,492
Oh, I'd love to,
453
00:17:56,784 --> 00:17:59,537
but we have no way of
knowing where the heart is.
454
00:17:59,829 --> 00:18:01,029
See, every human is different.
455
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,623
Jack.
456
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:04,625
It's okay. Don
isn't feeling well.
457
00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:06,335
He's in a diabetic coma.
458
00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:07,795
But possibly faking.
459
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:09,087
How did this happen?
460
00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:10,631
It was jorgenson's fault!
461
00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:12,174
Fair enough.
462
00:18:12,466 --> 00:18:13,786
It's all right. I'm
in charge now.
463
00:18:13,843 --> 00:18:15,511
You see, yesterday
I met with Don
464
00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:17,447
and he said I'm going
to become his successor.
465
00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:18,764
So I'm the CEO.
466
00:18:19,056 --> 00:18:21,309
Jack, if this is a power grab,
467
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:22,852
it's in very bad taste.
468
00:18:23,144 --> 00:18:24,145
No, no, he said it.
469
00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:25,146
He told me to keep it a secret.
470
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:26,438
No, it's true.
471
00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:27,802
I heard it secondhand from Jack.
472
00:18:27,857 --> 00:18:29,191
Banks!
473
00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:30,776
Banks knows. He can back me up.
474
00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:35,990
Jack...
475
00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:39,118
Jack, I don't know what
you're talking about.
476
00:18:39,410 --> 00:18:41,495
Oh, daddy!
477
00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:42,246
Daddy, no!
478
00:18:42,538 --> 00:18:44,457
Daddy!
479
00:18:44,749 --> 00:18:47,710
Is it 4-1 -1 or 9-1 -1?
480
00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:50,962
Uh, New York.
481
00:18:51,213 --> 00:18:55,301
Uh, diabetes repair, I guess.
482
00:18:55,593 --> 00:18:57,762
Jack, I know you're mad at me.
483
00:18:58,054 --> 00:18:59,221
Lemon, I am not mad at you.
484
00:18:59,513 --> 00:19:02,308
Look, TGS is really
where I belong.
485
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:03,869
I'm not cut out to
be an executive.
486
00:19:03,893 --> 00:19:05,019
Nonsense.
487
00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:06,812
Granted, you almost
killed Don Geiss.
488
00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:09,398
But let's not forget,
button classic.
489
00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:11,776
Right, button
classic. I crushed that.
490
00:19:12,068 --> 00:19:14,111
So we both had a mixed
day. That's business.
491
00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:15,488
Today the board is meeting
492
00:19:15,780 --> 00:19:16,965
and I am still their
best candidate.
493
00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:18,074
And after I state my case,
494
00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:19,676
I'm sure they
will want to fulfill
495
00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:21,661
Don Geiss's pre-coma wish.
496
00:19:21,952 --> 00:19:23,371
Oh, okay, great.
497
00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:25,289
Because I don't
think I can return this
498
00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:28,709
'cause I got business sick
all over it when I got home.
499
00:19:34,965 --> 00:19:35,965
Get out of here, Banks.
500
00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:37,170
I have nothing to say to you
501
00:19:37,301 --> 00:19:39,345
before this meeting.
502
00:19:39,637 --> 00:19:41,514
Then I'll do the talking
for the both of us.
503
00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:43,349
Whaddaya mean, Banks?
504
00:19:43,641 --> 00:19:44,641
I'll tell you, Jack.
505
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,686
There is no meeting today.
506
00:19:46,977 --> 00:19:48,297
See, I convinced
the board to have
507
00:19:48,396 --> 00:19:49,855
an emergency meeting last night.
508
00:19:50,147 --> 00:19:51,667
I tried to call you,
but not on a phone,
509
00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:52,851
so you may not have heard me.
510
00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:54,193
Devin, what did you do?
511
00:19:54,485 --> 00:19:55,805
I did what's best
for the company.
512
00:19:56,070 --> 00:19:58,114
You see, I convinced them
it was best to act quickly
513
00:19:58,406 --> 00:19:59,865
to quell any fears
among investors.
514
00:20:00,157 --> 00:20:02,237
And everyone agreed that,
for the sake of continuity,
515
00:20:02,451 --> 00:20:05,162
the Geiss family's steady hand
should remain on the wheel.
516
00:20:10,418 --> 00:20:12,920
Of course, Kathy's gonna
need some guidance,
517
00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:15,339
but that's what
her fiance's for.
518
00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:16,799
No, this can't happen.
519
00:20:17,091 --> 00:20:20,219
Oh, it's happening.
520
00:20:20,511 --> 00:20:23,013
Now get out of our office.
521
00:20:27,143 --> 00:20:30,020
I didn't hear hand washing!
35917
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