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1
00:00:00,670 --> 00:00:05,280
******holy hot mamas!
2
00:00:05,290 --> 00:00:07,960
But who will be the final
mommy that you'd like to--
3
00:00:07,970 --> 00:00:08,830
oh,you know.
4
00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:10,450
I came here to be number one!
5
00:00:10,460 --> 00:00:13,750
coming up next,here on nbc.
6
00:00:14,970 --> 00:00:16,700
Are you guys gonna
do any work today or--
7
00:00:16,710 --> 00:00:19,510
zip it. Milf island is on.
8
00:00:19,930 --> 00:00:24,220
20 milfs, 50 eighth-grade
boys, no rules.
9
00:00:24,230 --> 00:00:27,200
And tonight,one winner.
10
00:00:27,210 --> 00:00:29,710
Welcome to milf island.
11
00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:31,430
This show is the worst.
12
00:00:31,450 --> 00:00:34,260
Didn't one of thos milfs
die during production?
13
00:00:34,270 --> 00:00:37,170
She had too much champagne, and a
monkey knocked her into some quicksand.
14
00:00:37,190 --> 00:00:38,900
It could happen anywhere.
15
00:00:39,230 --> 00:00:40,880
miss lemon,we might have a problem.
16
00:00:40,890 --> 00:00:43,090
I went through the paper looking
for that article on speed dating
17
00:00:43,100 --> 00:00:45,050
- that you asked about...
- uh,buh duh jee jee je...
18
00:00:45,060 --> 00:00:47,510
when I came across this.
19
00:00:48,490 --> 00:00:49,580
Who...
20
00:00:49,590 --> 00:00:50,910
did... this?
21
00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:52,030
Who did what?
22
00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:55,040
This is from today's
page 6 gossip column.
23
00:00:55,050 --> 00:00:57,770
"Which tgs with tracy jordan staffer "
24
00:00:57,780 --> 00:01:03,240
called corporate honcho jack
donaghy "a class 'a' moron?
25
00:01:03,250 --> 00:01:06,950
"Donaghy is up for the G.E.Chairmanship,
"but one employee has misgivings,
26
00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:10,280
adding,'that guy can eat my poo.'"
27
00:01:10,300 --> 00:01:11,550
Who said this?
28
00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:13,290
- not me.
- Not me.
29
00:01:13,300 --> 00:01:15,270
- It wasn't me.
- I wasn't even working that day.
30
00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:16,680
Liz...
31
00:01:16,690 --> 00:01:19,650
mr. Donaghy would like to see
you in his office immediately.
32
00:01:19,660 --> 00:01:23,890
Well,it better not be about that quote
because I am not taking the bullet for this!
33
00:01:24,790 --> 00:01:28,420
This is bad. Like,lose you job bad.
34
00:01:29,010 --> 00:01:32,750
Prepare for the craziest night
of television of your life.
35
00:01:33,170 --> 00:01:38,680
-=www.ydy.com/bbs=-
proudly presents
36
00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:46,100
-=www.ydy.com/bbs=-
sync:ßÇÈâÈâ
37
00:01:46,110 --> 00:01:49,380
30 Rock
Season02 Episode11
38
00:01:52,970 --> 00:01:54,590
Well,I'm going to get yelled at.
39
00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:55,660
What's going on with you?
40
00:01:55,670 --> 00:01:57,740
The season finale of milf island.
41
00:01:57,750 --> 00:01:59,890
and I'm gonna watch
it alone in my office.
42
00:01:59,900 --> 00:02:01,190
That's pretty grim,pete.
43
00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:02,540
Ooh,a dangler!
44
00:02:02,550 --> 00:02:03,830
Liz,I'm gonna get free food.
45
00:02:04,370 --> 00:02:05,800
It's soy joy.
46
00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:07,930
Who doesn't love soy joy?
47
00:02:07,940 --> 00:02:12,010
Somebody upstairs has changed their
mind about old pete hornberger.
48
00:02:17,410 --> 00:02:19,330
I'm stuck!
49
00:02:23,970 --> 00:02:25,550
Lemon...
50
00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:27,120
remember this?
51
00:02:27,130 --> 00:02:31,030
Deborah and shauna squaring
off at erection cove.
52
00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:35,260
um,I don'T. I don't
really watch this show.
53
00:02:36,010 --> 00:02:37,330
that deborah's amazing.
54
00:02:37,340 --> 00:02:38,150
Have you heard her story?
55
00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:42,850
Before she was cast on milf island, she
was just a struggling actress living in L.A.
56
00:02:42,860 --> 00:02:44,350
Wow,that's inspiring.
57
00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:46,210
She has real star quality.
58
00:02:46,220 --> 00:02:47,150
You should meet with her.
59
00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:49,190
Wait,is that why you called me up here?
60
00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:52,580
Sir,I have sumner redstone
calling to congratulate you.
61
00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:53,540
I'll return.
62
00:02:53,550 --> 00:02:56,150
The calls have been
pouring in all night.
63
00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:57,440
Milf island's huge.
64
00:02:57,450 --> 00:03:00,870
I guess I should be out celebrating, but
I'm waiting for a call from don geiss.
65
00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:02,890
You think he'll call me "jackie-boy"?
66
00:03:02,900 --> 00:03:04,730
Then I'll be at erection cove.
67
00:03:05,380 --> 00:03:06,580
Congratulations,jack.
68
00:03:06,590 --> 00:03:07,850
You must be very proud.
69
00:03:07,860 --> 00:03:11,050
When you meet with deborah, have her
do her indian cab driver impression.
70
00:03:11,060 --> 00:03:13,560
She--she really
pulls it off.
71
00:03:13,570 --> 00:03:15,570
Now,why would I meet with her?
72
00:03:15,580 --> 00:03:18,080
Because we're developing a spin-off,
and I thought you could write it.
73
00:03:18,090 --> 00:03:19,880
Oh,,thanks!
74
00:03:19,890 --> 00:03:22,030
I don't want anything
to do with milf island.
75
00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:24,670
That show is kinda
lowest common denominator.
76
00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:26,450
The critics said that same
thing about shakespeare.
77
00:03:26,460 --> 00:03:30,550
Yeah,but shakespeare never had a
confessional shower sponsored by dove pro-age.
78
00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:31,740
So you have seen the show.
79
00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:32,630
And why shouldn't you?
80
00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:36,020
It has sex,lies,puberty,
betrayal,relay races.
81
00:03:36,030 --> 00:03:38,370
Milf island reflects the
drama of the human experience.
82
00:03:38,380 --> 00:03:41,080
And isn't that the essence of art?
83
00:03:41,090 --> 00:03:43,450
I don't think eating
bugs to earn tampons...
84
00:03:43,460 --> 00:03:45,020
episode nine. 22 million viewers.
85
00:03:45,030 --> 00:03:47,750
Is art. Performance is an art.
86
00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:51,490
Writing is an art. What we do is art.
87
00:03:51,500 --> 00:03:54,360
Someone put too many
farts in this engine!
88
00:03:54,370 --> 00:03:56,900
It's about to explode!
89
00:03:56,910 --> 00:03:58,830
Okay,fine. Don't meet with her.
90
00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:02,070
I just saw the opportunity for you
to make An obscene amount of money.
91
00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:05,150
Well,no thanks. I have integrity.
92
00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:09,020
It's farting! It's farting!
93
00:04:09,390 --> 00:04:10,620
Myirt.
94
00:04:10,630 --> 00:04:14,380
Anyway,unless there's something
else, I'm just gonna...
95
00:04:14,690 --> 00:04:20,660
actually,we do need to
resolve the page six debacle.
96
00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:25,700
You know,if you google the phrase "class
'a' moron," my name pops up first now.
97
00:04:25,710 --> 00:04:28,400
So step aside, randy quaid.
98
00:04:28,410 --> 00:04:30,050
Jack,I'm sorry you saw that.
99
00:04:30,060 --> 00:04:32,540
It's not good timing
for me,professionally.
100
00:04:32,550 --> 00:04:34,130
I will find out who did it.
101
00:04:34,140 --> 00:04:35,070
I'll beat it out of them.
102
00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:36,500
No,no,here's how we're
gonna play this situation.
103
00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:39,770
We're gonna turn up the
heat on your people...
104
00:04:40,050 --> 00:04:42,720
and see who breaks first.
105
00:04:44,550 --> 00:04:47,000
Jonathan...
106
00:04:47,900 --> 00:04:50,120
could you round
up those idiots--
107
00:04:50,130 --> 00:04:51,490
hey,buddies.
108
00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:52,800
he knows,doesn't he?
109
00:04:52,810 --> 00:04:54,340
Yeah,and he's not happy.
110
00:04:54,350 --> 00:04:55,240
Does he think it's me?
111
00:04:55,250 --> 00:04:56,760
Did he--did
he mention me?
112
00:04:56,770 --> 00:04:59,770
No,I think you're safe because I
think he forgot that you're a person.
113
00:04:59,780 --> 00:05:00,510
Yeah!
114
00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:02,130
Come on,how long is this gonna take?
115
00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:03,730
Our pizzas are downstairs,
116
00:05:03,740 --> 00:05:08,440
and the tribunal was just about to make one
of the last four milfs hang up her bikini top.
117
00:05:08,450 --> 00:05:10,760
Zalutha...
118
00:05:11,670 --> 00:05:14,810
you've kept it tight.
119
00:05:15,210 --> 00:05:17,600
Heidi...
120
00:05:17,610 --> 00:05:20,780
we no longer want to hit that.
121
00:05:20,790 --> 00:05:23,850
Get off milf island!
122
00:05:31,260 --> 00:05:33,000
Can I just get the pizzas
and bring them up here?
123
00:05:33,010 --> 00:05:36,450
No,no,you have to stay here in
case mr. Donaghy calls you in.
124
00:05:36,460 --> 00:05:40,930
Look,whoever did this
needs to fess up now.
125
00:05:40,940 --> 00:05:41,890
I can protect you.
126
00:05:41,900 --> 00:05:45,530
I just need to know who it is.
127
00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:49,150
Fine,everybody but me close your eyes.
128
00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:52,010
Whoever did it, raise your hand.
129
00:05:52,020 --> 00:05:53,830
Oh,really mature,guys!
130
00:05:53,840 --> 00:05:55,360
You are on your own.
131
00:05:55,370 --> 00:05:58,180
Miss lemon,can I have
a word with you,please?
132
00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:01,620
Lutz,come here.
133
00:06:02,790 --> 00:06:04,180
We should form an alliance.
134
00:06:04,190 --> 00:06:05,040
A what?
135
00:06:05,050 --> 00:06:05,990
An alliance.
136
00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:07,920
We're the two biggest
dirtbags around here.
137
00:06:07,930 --> 00:06:09,280
They're gonna try to blame us.
138
00:06:09,290 --> 00:06:11,250
I don't think people see me that way.
139
00:06:11,260 --> 00:06:13,080
Yeah,they do. You and me.
140
00:06:13,090 --> 00:06:14,600
A couple of fat pervert losers.
141
00:06:14,610 --> 00:06:16,900
My sister-in-law did kinda
a makeover on me. I thought--
142
00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:19,200
no. No.
143
00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:22,440
Hello? A little help!
144
00:06:22,450 --> 00:06:26,180
My shirt is caught on what
feels like a very sharp...
145
00:06:26,190 --> 00:06:27,510
mechanism.
146
00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:30,460
Ooh,maybe if I can get the shirt off.
147
00:06:42,420 --> 00:06:43,710
What?
148
00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:45,190
What is it,kenneth?
149
00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:48,790
Well,I was thinking about this item in the
newspaper, and something doesn't make sense.
150
00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:49,800
What do you mean?
151
00:06:49,810 --> 00:06:53,920
Well,I know toofer would never use
the word "poo," so it's not him.
152
00:06:53,930 --> 00:06:57,540
And frank couldn't have done it because he
was with me all day making fun of my haircut.
153
00:06:57,550 --> 00:06:59,720
And also, I saw you do it.
154
00:06:59,740 --> 00:07:04,510
The game... is about...to change!
155
00:07:07,150 --> 00:07:08,830
What do you mean you saw me do it?
156
00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:10,670
It was yesterday, downstairs.
157
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:13,050
Liz lemon,I'm gonna
miss the show this week.
158
00:07:13,060 --> 00:07:15,330
Jack is sending me to
do stand-up in dubai.
159
00:07:15,340 --> 00:07:17,150
I'm gonna do jokes on airplane food.
160
00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:18,580
It's all new to them.
161
00:07:18,590 --> 00:07:20,630
No,tracy,you can't miss the show.
162
00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:22,170
Well,don't blame me, blame jack.
163
00:07:22,180 --> 00:07:24,530
He's the one I'm splitting
the $3 million with.
164
00:07:24,540 --> 00:07:29,030
You and jack donaghy are
the cause of my jawline acne!
165
00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:31,460
You work for jack donaghy?
166
00:07:31,470 --> 00:07:35,270
That class "a" moron? Unfortunately.
167
00:07:36,150 --> 00:07:38,980
Must be tough taking orders
from a guy like that,huh?
168
00:07:38,990 --> 00:07:40,760
I don't take orders
from him. He's an idiot.
169
00:07:40,770 --> 00:07:44,700
He doesn't know what he's
doing. That guy can eat my poo.
170
00:07:45,290 --> 00:07:46,800
- Do you work here too?
- No.
171
00:07:46,810 --> 00:07:51,650
I'm a reporter for the new york
post, specializing in business gossip.
172
00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:55,920
And then you asked him if he was single, and
he said,"don't worry about it," but then--
173
00:07:55,930 --> 00:07:58,010
okay,fine,you got me! I did it.
174
00:07:58,020 --> 00:07:59,780
But I am not taking
the fall for this one.
175
00:07:59,790 --> 00:08:04,140
I have taken too many bullets
for my idiot staff in the past.
176
00:08:04,550 --> 00:08:06,530
Jonathan,did someone turn the heat up?
177
00:08:06,540 --> 00:08:07,340
No idea.
178
00:08:07,350 --> 00:08:09,070
Where I'm from, we
don't notice the heat.
179
00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:10,390
that's interesting.
180
00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:13,500
I didn't know it was
hot in assholevania.
181
00:08:13,510 --> 00:08:15,600
I deserve one free pass.
182
00:08:15,610 --> 00:08:17,070
But that's not the right thing to do.
183
00:08:17,090 --> 00:08:18,670
Yes,yes,kenneth.
184
00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:20,780
But jack and i are friends.
185
00:08:20,790 --> 00:08:23,110
It would screw things
up if this came out.
186
00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:26,470
What if I really messed up his
chances of getting that promotion?
187
00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:31,010
I would be so sad if
I got caught for this.
188
00:08:31,020 --> 00:08:32,890
But you're not supposed to lie.
189
00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:35,700
You apple-faced goon!
190
00:08:35,710 --> 00:08:38,250
Fine,I will tell him.
191
00:08:38,260 --> 00:08:40,570
Oh,pray for me.
192
00:08:48,590 --> 00:08:49,660
Really?
193
00:08:49,670 --> 00:08:52,310
Is everyone watching tv?
194
00:09:01,950 --> 00:09:05,250
Yes! Okay,okay...
195
00:09:05,260 --> 00:09:06,900
Okay...
196
00:09:07,260 --> 00:09:10,080
I just need four numbers.
197
00:09:10,090 --> 00:09:12,820
Call anybody in the building.
198
00:09:13,330 --> 00:09:17,520
Any... random...number.
199
00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:29,590
Yes! Hornberger!
200
00:09:31,740 --> 00:09:33,450
Hello,you've reached
pete hornberger at tgs.
201
00:09:33,460 --> 00:09:35,030
Please leave a message.
202
00:09:41,270 --> 00:09:43,590
A class "a" moron.
203
00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:46,280
Yeah, how are you doing?
204
00:09:46,290 --> 00:09:49,450
Lemon,can I share something with you that
I've never shared with anyone in my life?
205
00:09:49,460 --> 00:09:50,470
I would rather you didn'T.
206
00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:53,810
When I was a child, I
had a terrible stutter.
207
00:09:53,820 --> 00:09:56,760
And I was so embarrassed by it
that I rarely spoke in class.
208
00:09:56,770 --> 00:09:57,690
You were a stutterer?
209
00:09:57,700 --> 00:09:58,590
Couldn't get a word out.
210
00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:01,300
Needless to say I was the
object of some ridicule.
211
00:10:01,310 --> 00:10:04,170
Because of my reticence,
they assumed I was stupid,
212
00:10:04,180 --> 00:10:07,610
and the massachusetts public
school system designated me
213
00:10:07,620 --> 00:10:12,220
a class "a" moron.
214
00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:14,310
Oh,no.
215
00:10:14,510 --> 00:10:16,490
the stutter got so bad i
was taken out of my grade
216
00:10:16,500 --> 00:10:20,570
and put in the special class
held in the boiler room.
217
00:10:20,580 --> 00:10:23,850
My only other classmate was named gilly.
218
00:10:23,860 --> 00:10:28,690
He'd fallen through the ice as a child
and was technically dead for 57 minutes.
219
00:10:28,700 --> 00:10:31,820
They taught us to sweep sawdust
so we could find work at a mill.
220
00:10:31,830 --> 00:10:34,970
I'm sure whoever said that
thing in the post had no idea--
221
00:10:34,980 --> 00:10:38,390
of course,I overcame the
stutter in three languages.
222
00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:41,410
On to princeton,harvard, the
top of the business world.
223
00:10:41,420 --> 00:10:44,950
I thought i'd blocked this out, but a thing
like this brings back some old emotions.
224
00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:45,980
I'm so sorry.
225
00:10:45,990 --> 00:10:49,940
I feel like I'm back in that boiler
room making little piles of sawdust
226
00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:53,240
while gilly plays with
himself in the corner.
227
00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:56,140
I'm sorry, did you want something?
228
00:10:56,150 --> 00:10:59,280
I just wanted to tell you...
229
00:11:00,700 --> 00:11:03,740
that I've narrowed it
down to toofer or frank.
230
00:11:03,750 --> 00:11:05,580
Thank you.
231
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:09,450
God,I am famished.
232
00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:11,510
those are jack's!
233
00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:12,700
Come on,guys.
234
00:11:12,710 --> 00:11:15,120
Whoever did it,just confess
so we can get out of here.
235
00:11:15,130 --> 00:11:16,700
Why are you looking at me and lutz?
236
00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:18,080
I wasn'T.
237
00:11:18,090 --> 00:11:21,280
I think lutz'll tell
you that I'm innocent.
238
00:11:21,290 --> 00:11:22,320
No,I won't,dude.
239
00:11:22,330 --> 00:11:23,270
What the frak?
240
00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:24,870
I thought we had a dirtbag alliance!
241
00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:25,970
I'm not a dirtbag.
242
00:11:25,980 --> 00:11:27,670
This is from amican eagle!
243
00:11:27,680 --> 00:11:29,110
You formed an alliance?
244
00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:30,970
That strongly insinuates guilt.
245
00:11:30,980 --> 00:11:34,220
Well,I think pointing fingers
at people makes you seem guilty.
246
00:11:34,230 --> 00:11:34,850
Thanks,judas.
247
00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:36,260
- I thought we had a deal.
- You lis!
248
00:11:36,270 --> 00:11:40,390
Who cares if you went
to harvard? Who cares?
249
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:44,480
Debra, what was the hardest
part of this for you?
250
00:11:44,490 --> 00:11:46,390
I would have to say...
251
00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:48,090
the physical challenges.
252
00:11:48,100 --> 00:11:52,260
I mean,you're tired,
hungry, want to go home.
253
00:11:52,270 --> 00:11:53,780
And then you just reach inside yourself,
254
00:11:53,790 --> 00:11:57,060
and you find the strength that
you didn't even know you had.
255
00:11:57,540 --> 00:12:00,260
I mean,one of my implants exploded...
256
00:12:00,270 --> 00:12:02,460
and I didn't even ask
to get off the catapult.
257
00:12:02,470 --> 00:12:08,680
now,boys,there are only two
milfs left: Debra and deborah.
258
00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:10,990
But one of them is going home.
259
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:13,770
And it will be revealed...
260
00:12:13,780 --> 00:12:16,180
after three more breaks.
261
00:12:16,190 --> 00:12:18,450
Deborah's played the game so well.
262
00:12:18,460 --> 00:12:21,090
Even if she loses,
america's gonna want more.
263
00:12:21,100 --> 00:12:22,740
Maybe it's a talk show.
264
00:12:22,750 --> 00:12:24,570
No,jack,I'm not working on it.
265
00:12:24,580 --> 00:12:27,200
Jonathan,turn up the heat a
little more and send in kenneth.
266
00:12:27,220 --> 00:12:27,760
Kenneth?
267
00:12:27,780 --> 00:12:28,900
We're gonna get to the bottom of this.
268
00:12:28,910 --> 00:12:31,140
He won't know anything.
269
00:12:31,150 --> 00:12:32,920
Kenneth...
270
00:12:32,930 --> 00:12:35,270
you're the eyes and ears of tgs.
271
00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:38,820
So liz and I were hoping you could
help us to track down the person
272
00:12:38,830 --> 00:12:42,190
who's been saying these hurtful
things about me in the paper.
273
00:12:43,560 --> 00:12:48,590
Well,sir,I'm sure that
whoever did this regrets her...
274
00:12:48,940 --> 00:12:53,920
or his mistake, and
will do the right thing.
275
00:12:53,930 --> 00:12:55,740
I certainly hope so.
276
00:12:55,750 --> 00:12:58,580
Do you have any guesses?
277
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:05,500
Kenneth,I need an answer.
278
00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:11,670
The stress of this is
making me awful sleepy.
279
00:13:11,680 --> 00:13:15,120
sir, there's a call on two i
think you're gonna want to take.
280
00:13:15,130 --> 00:13:18,140
Mr. Geiss,I-- oh,hello,
vice president cheney.
281
00:13:18,150 --> 00:13:19,620
I'm gonna kill you.
282
00:13:19,630 --> 00:13:23,180
Yes,I hope deborah wins as well.
283
00:13:23,190 --> 00:13:25,990
No,they're not real, unfortunately.
284
00:13:26,590 --> 00:13:27,390
Get out of here!
285
00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:29,040
I can't believe you didn't tell him!
286
00:13:29,050 --> 00:13:30,420
You listen to me, li'l abner.
287
00:13:30,430 --> 00:13:32,400
Keep your fried baloney hole shut!
288
00:13:32,410 --> 00:13:34,150
I am not going down for this!
289
00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:35,270
I'll tell him you did it.
290
00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:36,470
Who do you think he's gonna believe?
291
00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:38,090
I'm important around here.
292
00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:42,780
Miss lemon,your eyes look like my uncle's
after he would drink from the air-conditioner.
293
00:13:42,790 --> 00:13:44,180
I thought we were friends.
294
00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:46,370
I didn't come here to make friends.
295
00:13:46,380 --> 00:13:49,620
I came here to be number one!
296
00:13:49,630 --> 00:13:51,020
liz lemon!
297
00:13:51,030 --> 00:13:53,200
I can't believe they put
what you said in the paper.
298
00:13:53,210 --> 00:13:55,710
Shh--how do you
know about that?
299
00:13:55,940 --> 00:13:57,650
this is a cathy cartoon!
300
00:13:57,660 --> 00:14:01,630
Yeah,that cartoon copied exactly
what you said the other Y.
301
00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:04,920
Chocolate,chocolate, chocolate! Aack!
302
00:14:05,630 --> 00:14:08,350
If you decide to sue
them, I know a good lawyer!
303
00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:10,910
Took me to the cleers last year.
304
00:14:11,330 --> 00:14:13,110
the truth will come out.
305
00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:17,390
Like my cousin steven after he went
to music college, it will come out.
306
00:14:17,730 --> 00:14:20,680
stay tuned for one
final, shocking twist.
307
00:14:20,690 --> 00:14:21,680
Shut up!
308
00:14:21,700 --> 00:14:22,940
Brought to you buy soy joy.
309
00:14:22,950 --> 00:14:24,770
Fortified with optimism.
310
00:14:28,260 --> 00:14:29,690
Jack,it's almost 11:00.
311
00:14:29,700 --> 00:14:32,620
Why don't you let thos guys go
home, and we'll all sleep on it?
312
00:14:32,630 --> 00:14:34,490
They called me stammerhead shark,lemon.
313
00:14:34,500 --> 00:14:35,310
What?
314
00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:37,660
The kids at school.
They called me names.
315
00:14:37,670 --> 00:14:40,310
Mrs. Stutterworth, stutterfingers...
316
00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:42,340
stuttermilk pancakes.
317
00:14:42,350 --> 00:14:45,250
The butter thing opened
up a lot of doors for them.
318
00:14:46,650 --> 00:14:49,140
You know,I wore
corrective shoes as a kid.
319
00:14:49,150 --> 00:14:49,710
Really?
320
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:53,910
When I was born, I had a
malformed extra baby foot
321
00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:56,690
extending from my actual foot.
322
00:14:56,700 --> 00:14:59,060
They think maybe i ate my twin.
323
00:14:59,070 --> 00:15:03,350
But after the surgery to
remove it, I walked pigeon-toed.
324
00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:07,250
So all through grade school, I
had to wear corrective foot gear
325
00:15:07,260 --> 00:15:10,660
that attached to a headgear.
326
00:15:10,670 --> 00:15:12,720
Gilly chewed through his headgear.
327
00:15:12,730 --> 00:15:14,560
My point is,I survived.
328
00:15:14,570 --> 00:15:15,930
It made me a better person.
329
00:15:15,940 --> 00:15:17,600
And he same is true of you.
330
00:15:17,610 --> 00:15:21,470
All this,all your success is
because of that certificate.
331
00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:23,280
It made you who you are.
332
00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:24,920
And that is not a bad thing.
333
00:15:24,930 --> 00:15:26,780
Thank you,lemon.
334
00:15:27,090 --> 00:15:30,730
Look. The final council is starting.
335
00:15:32,430 --> 00:15:35,830
Deborah has the bearing of a queen.
336
00:15:36,470 --> 00:15:38,320
- Maybe you did it!
- Why would I do it?
337
00:15:38,330 --> 00:15:40,720
- That is so stupid.
- You know people at page six!
338
00:15:41,700 --> 00:15:42,970
I hate all of you!
339
00:15:42,980 --> 00:15:45,810
Order! Order,I say!
340
00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:47,940
We must not be rash.
341
00:15:47,950 --> 00:15:53,070
We must divorce ourselves from our
prejudices, and appeal to our higher reasoning.
342
00:15:53,670 --> 00:15:55,700
This is the speaking banana.
343
00:15:55,710 --> 00:16:01,220
Everyone will get a chance to speak,and
only then will we make our decision.
344
00:16:01,230 --> 00:16:06,030
Josh,my friend, you are first.
345
00:16:07,090 --> 00:16:10,680
Look,I would never do this
because I'm loyal to the show.
346
00:16:10,690 --> 00:16:11,790
That dude did it!
347
00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:13,050
I knew it was you!
348
00:16:14,150 --> 00:16:17,130
Look at his light eyes.
They're freaky like a wolf!
349
00:16:18,090 --> 00:16:20,630
Keep it down!
350
00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:21,960
Why are you still here?
351
00:16:21,970 --> 00:16:24,740
I love it up here. It's
hot,it's loud, there's no pizza.
352
00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:26,180
It's like miami.
353
00:16:26,190 --> 00:16:28,960
Maybe liz did it.
354
00:16:28,970 --> 00:16:30,500
Are you kidding me?
355
00:16:30,510 --> 00:16:35,980
After all the times i have defended you guys
and covered up for you, How dare you accuse me!
356
00:16:35,990 --> 00:16:38,170
you say you're sorry right now.
357
00:16:38,180 --> 00:16:39,570
I'm sorry.
358
00:16:39,970 --> 00:16:41,730
Please don't cry, it's
making me feel weird.
359
00:16:41,740 --> 00:16:44,580
I can't take this anymore.
360
00:16:44,590 --> 00:16:47,330
I'm going to put an end to it.
362
00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:53,060
I said those bad things about
you in the newspaper,sir.
363
00:16:53,070 --> 00:16:54,270
Kenneth,you?
364
00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:56,280
I couldn't lie anymore,sir.
365
00:16:56,290 --> 00:16:59,230
Because everyone knows the weight
of a lie makes your soul so heavy
366
00:16:59,250 --> 00:17:01,450
that you can't rise up to heaven.
367
00:17:01,460 --> 00:17:03,780
And you don't look good
in jeans from behind.
368
00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:05,430
But why,kenneth?
369
00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:07,470
Is it because I made
you work late last night?
370
00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:09,110
Yes,sir. That was it.
371
00:17:09,120 --> 00:17:11,750
I was here folding milf island tee
shirts until 2:00 in the morning.
372
00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:13,620
And then you didn't even offer me one.
373
00:17:13,630 --> 00:17:17,190
Needless to say i grumbled about
you to anyone who would listen.
374
00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:19,640
Don't know what to say, kenneth.
375
00:17:19,940 --> 00:17:23,000
You've embarrassed
yourself and the show.
376
00:17:23,010 --> 00:17:25,230
You may have compromised my
chances of running this company.
377
00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:28,720
And needless to say,
you've hurt me personally.
378
00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:32,360
Lemon,do you have
anything you want to add?
379
00:17:33,690 --> 00:17:36,630
You disgust me.
380
00:17:39,010 --> 00:17:41,830
- Well,that's over.
- deborah wins!
381
00:17:45,270 --> 00:17:47,440
She played the game so well.
382
00:17:47,450 --> 00:17:50,080
She manipulated,she lied.
383
00:17:50,090 --> 00:17:52,460
She got a pretty bad staph infection.
384
00:17:52,470 --> 00:17:56,310
But tonight, deborah is our winner.
385
00:18:03,310 --> 00:18:04,910
Who won?
386
00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:13,730
myirt!
387
00:18:13,740 --> 00:18:15,530
Jack,what are you doing here?
388
00:18:15,540 --> 00:18:16,810
Geiss called me.
389
00:18:16,820 --> 00:18:17,800
Oh,good.
390
00:18:17,810 --> 00:18:19,590
I've never heard him sound so happy.
391
00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:21,380
He called me "jackie boy."
392
00:18:21,390 --> 00:18:25,630
And deborah's testing off the charts
in the most profitable demographics.
393
00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:29,510
Soccer moms,nascar dads,
white-collar pervs, and the obese.
394
00:18:30,020 --> 00:18:31,100
Congratulations.
395
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:34,390
I've really come a long way since
that heart attack, havet I,lemon?
396
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:37,100
Geiss' job is mine to lose.
397
00:18:37,110 --> 00:18:40,400
There's just one thing
still bothering me.
398
00:18:40,410 --> 00:18:43,070
Kenneth's story doesn't add up.
399
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:44,170
You want some pizza?
400
00:18:44,180 --> 00:18:46,980
Kenneth said he was folding
tee shirts until 2:00 A.M.
401
00:18:46,990 --> 00:18:49,190
But the post goes to press at midnight.
402
00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:53,250
Even if he somehow did bump into a reporter
in the elevator, it would be too late.
403
00:18:53,260 --> 00:18:56,010
Well,you know, that guy's the worst.
404
00:18:56,020 --> 00:18:59,250
This should be the greatest night
of my life, but I can't enjoy it.
405
00:18:59,260 --> 00:19:03,850
I mean,it's just k-k-killing me that
somebody would say that about me.
406
00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:06,330
I'm sure the person who said
it probably didn't mean it.
407
00:19:06,340 --> 00:19:08,090
And it was probably toofer.
408
00:19:08,100 --> 00:19:09,910
No,they meant it.
409
00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:12,290
They think I'm a moron, just
like gilly and everyone else.
410
00:19:12,300 --> 00:19:13,770
Even gilly made fun of you?
411
00:19:13,780 --> 00:19:14,540
You know, it's funny,lemon.
412
00:19:14,550 --> 00:19:20,850
I g-guess I'll always b-b-b-be
that k-k-k-k-k-k- k-k-k-k-k-
413
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:22,420
it was me! I did it!
414
00:19:22,430 --> 00:19:25,650
I--I didn't mean any of it. I'm
sorry I said you could eat my poo.
415
00:19:25,660 --> 00:19:28,460
it was me. I did it.
416
00:19:30,150 --> 00:19:32,220
I know.
417
00:19:32,690 --> 00:19:35,130
I just wanted to get you to admit it.
418
00:19:35,140 --> 00:19:38,490
And you do know how you're gonna
make this up to me,don't you?
419
00:19:38,500 --> 00:19:40,020
Oh,god.
420
00:19:40,030 --> 00:19:41,590
I've gotta write the deborah show.
421
00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:44,560
She wants to sing in every episode.
422
00:19:45,030 --> 00:19:48,040
You knew. How?
423
00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:52,500
No onion rings? Ugh,this
place can eat my poo!
424
00:19:53,490 --> 00:19:56,120
You say that word a lot
more than you realize.
425
00:19:56,130 --> 00:20:01,630
Now,I need you to initial
here, and sign here and here.
426
00:20:02,360 --> 00:20:04,850
I've got to admit i
never thought I'd get you.
427
00:20:04,860 --> 00:20:09,450
I mean,the stutter,
the certificate,gilly.
428
00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:12,610
Yeah,well,I made up all that stuff
about the extra baby foot too.
429
00:20:12,620 --> 00:20:15,010
I made that up--that was
to make you feel better.
430
00:20:15,030 --> 00:20:17,490
I'll walk you out.
431
00:20:21,290 --> 00:20:22,960
Heel,toe,lemon. Heel,toe.
432
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:26,630
-=www.ydy.com/bbs=-
proudly presents
433
00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:29,590
-=www.ydy.com/bbs=-
sync:ßÇÈâÈâ
434
00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:32,700
stick around. Coming up
next we've got dog swap!
33021
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