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1
00:00:03,128 --> 00:00:05,088
Oh, hey, I, uh, I
found your lipstick.
2
00:00:05,380 --> 00:00:06,965
Oh! Oh, no, this isn't mine.
3
00:00:07,257 --> 00:00:09,134
This is sunset blush.
I wear tiger orgasm.
4
00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:11,053
But it was in my apartment.
5
00:00:20,229 --> 00:00:22,069
I don't know why I told
you about the pop-tart.
6
00:00:22,231 --> 00:00:23,231
But that's weird.
7
00:00:23,398 --> 00:00:24,900
It's just me and
Pete at my place.
8
00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:27,653
Hello, ladies.
9
00:00:27,945 --> 00:00:28,945
Pete's having an affair.
10
00:00:29,112 --> 00:00:29,780
What?
11
00:00:30,072 --> 00:00:31,512
The lipstick, the
spring in his step.
12
00:00:31,782 --> 00:00:33,075
The sexy Justin Timberlake hat.
13
00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:34,660
No, no, he's still married.
14
00:00:34,952 --> 00:00:36,152
I don't know what to tell you.
15
00:00:36,203 --> 00:00:38,203
The only reason men start
taking care of themselves
16
00:00:38,247 --> 00:00:40,099
is if they're getting someone
to have sex with them.
17
00:00:40,123 --> 00:00:41,124
If it wasn't for that,
18
00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:42,602
they'd just sit at
home in their own filth.
19
00:00:42,626 --> 00:00:43,627
Hey, Liz.
20
00:00:43,919 --> 00:00:44,979
We're out of string cheese,
21
00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:46,463
so I think I'm gonna take off.
22
00:00:51,802 --> 00:00:52,802
Ohh.
23
00:00:56,807 --> 00:00:57,807
What sketch is that for?
24
00:00:58,058 --> 00:00:59,226
It's not for a sketch.
25
00:00:59,518 --> 00:01:01,144
It's part of our
new company-wide
26
00:01:01,436 --> 00:01:02,436
global eco initiative.
27
00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:04,690
We're going green, Lemon.
And do you know why?
28
00:01:04,982 --> 00:01:05,691
To save the earth?
29
00:01:05,983 --> 00:01:08,151
So we can drain the
remainder of its resources.
30
00:01:08,443 --> 00:01:09,820
Don Geiss is a genius.
31
00:01:10,112 --> 00:01:11,881
He's pitting all of the
divisions of the company
32
00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:12,905
against each other
33
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,133
to see who can
make the most money
34
00:01:14,157 --> 00:01:15,437
from this
environmentalism trend.
35
00:01:15,534 --> 00:01:17,494
And I am going to win with...
36
00:01:17,786 --> 00:01:18,829
Greenzo!
37
00:01:20,122 --> 00:01:20,789
Saving the earth
38
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,457
while maintaining profitability.
39
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:23,749
That's right, Jared.
40
00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:25,085
Greenzo is america's first
41
00:01:25,377 --> 00:01:26,657
non-judgmental,
business-friendly
42
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:27,920
environmental advocate.
43
00:01:28,005 --> 00:01:29,923
The free market will
solve global warming,
44
00:01:30,215 --> 00:01:31,300
if that even exists.
45
00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:32,592
My boy. Greenzo?
46
00:01:32,801 --> 00:01:34,404
Is that the first name
that came to your head?
47
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:35,012
Can you believe it?
48
00:01:35,304 --> 00:01:36,784
I mean, it just
popped right in there.
49
00:01:37,014 --> 00:01:38,014
Wow.
50
00:01:41,184 --> 00:01:49,026
♪ ♪
51
00:01:58,910 --> 00:02:00,070
You're gonna be great, Jared.
52
00:02:00,203 --> 00:02:02,039
I'm just so excited
about this gig, sir.
53
00:02:02,331 --> 00:02:04,374
I mean, what a...
What a sweet gig.
54
00:02:04,666 --> 00:02:05,666
I've got a gig.
55
00:02:05,876 --> 00:02:07,145
Yeah, you're saying "gig" a lot.
56
00:02:07,169 --> 00:02:08,969
Oh, I'm so sorry. I
haven't worked in a while.
57
00:02:09,171 --> 00:02:10,631
My last real job was an ad
58
00:02:10,922 --> 00:02:12,562
for Rick lazio's new
York senate campaign.
59
00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:15,719
Hillary Clinton wants
an all-homosexual army.
60
00:02:16,011 --> 00:02:17,888
How will that affect my family?
61
00:02:18,180 --> 00:02:19,824
Well, thankfully, those
days are behind you.
62
00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:21,642
Your billboard's going
up in Times Square.
63
00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:23,369
You're releasing an
endangered falcon
64
00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:24,662
during halftime at
the Knicks game.
65
00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:25,686
And...
66
00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:26,956
You're booked on The Today Show.
67
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:28,732
Oh, wow, The Today Show!
68
00:02:29,024 --> 00:02:29,566
Oh, m... ahh.
69
00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:32,486
I just wish my
mom were still alive
70
00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:34,613
so I could rub
it in her fat face.
71
00:02:34,905 --> 00:02:36,114
Really?
72
00:02:37,532 --> 00:02:38,700
Uh, come with me.
73
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:43,789
He's having another party.
74
00:02:44,081 --> 00:02:46,208
Howdy.
75
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,543
Hope you can make it.
76
00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:51,046
See ya there.
77
00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:57,760
What's up, Lemon?
78
00:02:57,803 --> 00:02:59,930
I'm hiding from Kenneth.
79
00:03:00,222 --> 00:03:01,222
I don't wanna get roped
80
00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:03,141
into another one of
his terrible parties.
81
00:03:03,433 --> 00:03:05,769
I'm always the only
person who shows up.
82
00:03:17,823 --> 00:03:19,908
Happy Halloween, baby.
83
00:03:22,828 --> 00:03:24,579
How could no one
go to Ken's party?
84
00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:25,872
He's such a great dude.
85
00:03:26,164 --> 00:03:27,499
Will you come, please?
86
00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:28,500
No, I can't.
87
00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:29,418
I only go to a-list events.
88
00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:32,504
Ohh, I don't wanna be stuck
there alone with him again.
89
00:03:32,796 --> 00:03:34,596
Don't sweat it, 'cause
I'm gonna bail you out.
90
00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:37,676
I'm gonna turn Ken's
jam into a major event.
91
00:03:37,968 --> 00:03:40,053
Good luck with that.
92
00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:42,389
See, all a hot party
needs is mystique.
93
00:03:42,681 --> 00:03:43,681
A buzz.
94
00:03:43,849 --> 00:03:45,183
See, people are like lemmings.
95
00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:46,768
Harvey lemmings, my lawyer,
96
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:48,186
who never misses a party.
97
00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:50,158
That's not a real person.
You made that up.
98
00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:51,713
I just have to
start a little rumor.
99
00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:53,442
Who are the biggest
gossips on TGS?
100
00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:55,652
Grizz and Dotcom.
101
00:03:55,944 --> 00:03:58,447
So, Greenzo, what else
can kids and parents do
102
00:03:58,739 --> 00:03:59,819
to protect the environment?
103
00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:00,948
Well, kids,
104
00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:01,658
you can tell your parents
105
00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:06,538
to buy a G.E. front-loading
washing machine to save water.
106
00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:08,457
'Cause if the earth's not here,
107
00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:11,251
where else is
Greenzo gonna dance?
108
00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:17,215
Thanks for getting the
message out, Greenzo.
109
00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:19,259
You're saving the world.
110
00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:30,479
Did you hear what Mary said
about me saving the world?
111
00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:33,231
Sorry, everybody,
that's Meredith Viera.
112
00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:34,763
The Today Show wants to give us
113
00:04:35,025 --> 00:04:36,151
a recurring segment now.
114
00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:38,028
Lemon, I want you
to write them up.
115
00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:40,173
I want the sketches to be
punchy and entertaining,
116
00:04:40,197 --> 00:04:41,531
so don't treat it
like your show.
117
00:04:41,823 --> 00:04:44,618
All right, but only
because I like earth.
118
00:04:44,910 --> 00:04:46,286
Jared, we'll send
you some stuff.
119
00:04:46,578 --> 00:04:48,163
Oh, I'd like to sit
in and give notes.
120
00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:50,540
Make sure it's got
that Greenzo voice.
121
00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:52,250
It's wry and wise,
122
00:04:52,542 --> 00:04:54,669
but... but also very sexual.
123
00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:58,048
Walk with me, Lemon.
124
00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:00,383
Look how Greenzo's testing.
125
00:05:00,675 --> 00:05:02,035
They love him in
every demographic.
126
00:05:02,219 --> 00:05:04,513
Colored people,
broads, fairies, commies.
127
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:06,223
Gosh, we gotta
update these forms.
128
00:05:06,515 --> 00:05:08,315
Yeah, well, Greenzo
seems to love himself too.
129
00:05:08,558 --> 00:05:09,558
So does Don Geiss.
130
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,570
He sent me a personal
card congratulating me.
131
00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:13,188
With a real signature!
132
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,560
Wow, if you licked the
envelope, you could clone him,
133
00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,275
and then you'd have two Geisses.
134
00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:18,567
Yeah, right, Lemon.
135
00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:20,987
I'm gonna clone Geiss, then
compete with a Geiss clone
136
00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:22,279
for the CEO position?
137
00:05:22,531 --> 00:05:23,531
Think it through.
138
00:05:23,573 --> 00:05:24,699
Goon!
139
00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:26,117
Ms. Lemon, Mr. Donaghy,
140
00:05:26,409 --> 00:05:28,411
I'm just a simple
pig farmer's son.
141
00:05:28,703 --> 00:05:29,703
But I would be honored
142
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:31,373
if you'd come to a
party at my home.
143
00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:32,916
Oh, whatever, fine. I'll come.
144
00:05:33,208 --> 00:05:35,126
Super. Mr. D? Uh, no.
145
00:05:35,418 --> 00:05:36,858
I could make up
some excuse, Kenneth,
146
00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:38,528
but I have too much
respect for you.
147
00:05:38,797 --> 00:05:39,464
During your party, I'll be home,
148
00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:41,174
listening to some schubert.
149
00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:42,592
And, uh, ironically,
150
00:05:42,884 --> 00:05:45,303
viewing some
Canadian pornography.
151
00:05:47,931 --> 00:05:51,017
Hope you're ready
to party like it's 1999.
152
00:05:51,309 --> 00:05:54,354
Which, according to my
Bible, will be in seven years.
153
00:05:55,647 --> 00:05:57,899
Oh, what is that smell?
154
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:00,443
That is the body spray
155
00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:02,175
that came with my
new leather jacket.
156
00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:04,489
Oh, my god. Are
you having an affair?
157
00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:06,449
What? No. Why
would you say that?
158
00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:09,578
Because you're acting
all happy and full of life.
159
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:11,037
Liz, you're crazy.
160
00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:13,373
Yeah, and you're
married, remember, Pete?
161
00:06:13,665 --> 00:06:17,419
Your beautiful wife Paula.
And your sons, Robert and Jack.
162
00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:18,169
And that creepy little one
163
00:06:18,461 --> 00:06:21,047
who's always rubbing
himself against the carpet.
164
00:06:21,339 --> 00:06:23,717
Liz... I'm not
cheating on Paula.
165
00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:25,594
You better not be!
166
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:29,598
Oh, great, now I
smell like midlife crisis!
167
00:06:34,436 --> 00:06:35,145
Here's a tip, Cerie.
168
00:06:35,437 --> 00:06:38,815
Decide what you want before
you open the refrigerator.
169
00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:40,827
You just released enough
hydro fluorocarbons
170
00:06:40,984 --> 00:06:42,235
to kill a penguin.
171
00:06:42,527 --> 00:06:43,527
This penguin.
172
00:06:46,948 --> 00:06:48,188
You ever take off that costume?
173
00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:49,743
You ever take off yours?
174
00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:52,120
Greenzo out!
175
00:06:55,332 --> 00:06:57,918
Did he just talk to
me like I'm ugly?
176
00:06:58,209 --> 00:06:59,210
Hey, fellas.
177
00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:01,212
I heard a secret
about Kenneth's party.
178
00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:03,840
Ken went to high school in
Georgia with the rapper T.I.
179
00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:05,216
And, boys...
180
00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:06,009
T.I. might show up.
181
00:07:06,301 --> 00:07:08,178
But listen...
182
00:07:08,470 --> 00:07:09,679
We can't let anyone know.
183
00:07:09,971 --> 00:07:10,971
Anyone!
184
00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:12,181
Got it?
185
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:13,432
Right.
186
00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:16,561
Yo, we gotta tell Josh.
187
00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:18,229
He'll finally think we're cool.
188
00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:21,107
I'm not really into T.I.
189
00:07:21,399 --> 00:07:23,610
Uh... fall out boy
will be there too.
190
00:07:23,902 --> 00:07:25,111
I love fall out boy! Mm-hmm.
191
00:07:25,403 --> 00:07:26,529
We know.
192
00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:32,202
You're just trying
to get me to go
193
00:07:32,494 --> 00:07:33,662
'cause you want a ride.
194
00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:35,956
Dude, have you seen
the dancers on T.I.'s tour?
195
00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:38,208
I hear they're gonna
be foxy boxing.
196
00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:39,500
I'm telling you, Cerie,
197
00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:40,668
it is gonna be awesome.
198
00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:43,004
T.I., fall out boy, foxy boxing.
199
00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:44,381
Sounds hot.
200
00:07:44,673 --> 00:07:45,913
But I have my four girl cousins
201
00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:47,801
visiting from Holland this week.
202
00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:49,278
Do you think you
can get them in?
203
00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:51,596
I'll die 1,000 deaths
before I fail you.
204
00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:53,390
They get so drunk.
205
00:07:53,682 --> 00:07:54,891
Uhh!
206
00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:57,769
Get outta the way!
Get outta the way!
207
00:08:00,355 --> 00:08:02,857
Hey, Cerie, what's
going on this weekend?
208
00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:05,694
I mean, I know lots of
dope stuff, of course.
209
00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:07,986
Now, I just wanna make
sure that you knew about it.
210
00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:09,447
Are bare feet in now,
211
00:08:09,739 --> 00:08:11,157
or do you just have
your shoes off?
212
00:08:11,449 --> 00:08:15,120
Well, Kenneth is having
this really, really big party.
213
00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:16,746
Yes, that's right, you heard me!
214
00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:18,707
T.I. is gonna be
at Kenneth's party!
215
00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:21,084
You're my publicist. Get me in!
216
00:08:21,376 --> 00:08:23,169
Oh, also, could you
try to kill that story
217
00:08:23,461 --> 00:08:25,338
about my mom being homeless?
218
00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:26,089
I love T.I.
219
00:08:26,381 --> 00:08:29,009
Please, respect
celebrity privacy.
220
00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:33,680
It's a party?
221
00:08:33,972 --> 00:08:35,491
Yes, but don't tell anybody.
222
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:36,975
Shh. Shh.
223
00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:38,935
That was Geiss's
social secretary.
224
00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:40,227
What did he say?
225
00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:42,230
He was talking about
some epic party at Kenneth's!
226
00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:44,441
He claims he needs
an invite for Mr. Geiss.
227
00:08:44,733 --> 00:08:46,776
You're saying Geiss
might be at Kenneth's party?
228
00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:47,694
Our Kenneth? Yes!
229
00:08:47,986 --> 00:08:49,029
Why would he go to that?
230
00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:50,320
What else do you know?
231
00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:51,573
T.I. is going to be there.
232
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:54,242
Bob Logan from Texas
instruments is gonna be there?
233
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:56,614
Logan must be in contention
for the CEO spot as well.
234
00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:57,910
Sir, if there's any chance
235
00:08:58,163 --> 00:08:59,598
that Mr. Geiss is going
to be at this party...
236
00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:00,790
Duh! Thanks, Jonathan.
237
00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:02,082
Think I should try to go?
238
00:09:02,292 --> 00:09:03,001
I...
239
00:09:03,293 --> 00:09:05,128
I've gotta find Kenneth.
240
00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:11,384
Oh, hi.
241
00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:13,261
I, uh, haven't had a chance
242
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,305
to get to that
Greenzo stuff yet.
243
00:09:15,597 --> 00:09:17,807
Hey, did you leave your
computer on all night?
244
00:09:18,099 --> 00:09:19,410
Yeah, it just takes
a really long time
245
00:09:19,434 --> 00:09:20,477
to reboot in the morning.
246
00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:21,478
Huh.
247
00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:23,480
Hey, you know what
else takes a long time?
248
00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:24,898
Building a new earth.
249
00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:26,190
Listen, Jared...
250
00:09:26,357 --> 00:09:27,067
Greenzo.
251
00:09:27,358 --> 00:09:28,943
I'm working with you as a favor.
252
00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:31,988
Wow. You know what?
253
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:33,323
You people make me sick.
254
00:09:33,615 --> 00:09:36,409
You act like you care,
but you do nothing.
255
00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:39,120
Do you even bother to
compost your own feces?
256
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:41,247
Look, I got a lot of real work
257
00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:42,832
that I have to do right now.
258
00:09:43,124 --> 00:09:45,186
So I'm not really interested in
having some actor lecture me.
259
00:09:45,210 --> 00:09:47,420
Are you saying actors
can't change the world?
260
00:09:47,712 --> 00:09:50,131
I guess nobody bothered
to tell Sharon stone.
261
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:51,633
Look, I always knew
262
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,134
I can make a difference.
263
00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:54,844
And now I finally
have my platform,
264
00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:57,055
so let's have a
little less yappity yap
265
00:09:57,347 --> 00:09:58,627
and a little more
clackity clack.
266
00:09:58,681 --> 00:10:01,434
All right, that's
it. I'm telling Jack.
267
00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:03,103
This is not working. Wait.
268
00:10:03,394 --> 00:10:04,938
What's in that
styrofoam cup, huh?
269
00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:05,855
The earth's blood?
270
00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:07,232
Give me that. No.
271
00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:08,524
Gi...
272
00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:10,276
Ohh! You jag!
273
00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:13,530
I just got this, like,
eight years ago.
274
00:10:15,907 --> 00:10:16,907
Good job.
275
00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:19,452
Leave all the lights on
for the invisible people.
276
00:10:31,506 --> 00:10:32,506
Gross!
277
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,008
Liz!
278
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:34,843
Paula?!
279
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:36,375
You're cheating with your wife?
280
00:10:36,594 --> 00:10:38,012
Why didn't you
tell me about this!
281
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:39,389
That's my fault.
282
00:10:39,681 --> 00:10:41,307
I get off on the
sneakin' around.
283
00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:43,393
Who knew, right?
284
00:10:43,685 --> 00:10:44,144
So how are your parents?
285
00:10:44,435 --> 00:10:46,271
No, no, no. We'll
catch up later.
286
00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:47,981
I just came to get
a clean sweater.
287
00:10:49,899 --> 00:10:51,276
Ohh, blurg!
288
00:10:51,568 --> 00:10:53,611
Why is there a
pop-tart in the bed?
289
00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:56,364
What do you do
with the pop-tart?!
290
00:10:57,615 --> 00:10:59,075
Ohh!
291
00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:05,498
Hey, did you hear about
Kenneth's insane party?
292
00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:07,208
T.I.'s gonna be there.
293
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:10,461
I'm surprised to hear that
because that is new information.
294
00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:12,172
Yeah, and he's gonna perform.
295
00:11:12,463 --> 00:11:13,463
He is?
296
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:14,984
And fall out boy
will be there too.
297
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:16,384
Huh?
298
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:17,093
And there's gonna
be foxy boxing!
299
00:11:17,385 --> 00:11:20,263
Foxy boxing? I love foxy boxing!
300
00:11:20,555 --> 00:11:21,866
It combines my
two favorite things:
301
00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:24,475
Boxing and referees!
302
00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:26,936
I got to get into
that party man.
303
00:11:27,228 --> 00:11:28,228
Get me Harvey lemmings!
304
00:11:28,479 --> 00:11:29,898
You dummy, first of all,
305
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,458
you didn't dial that cell phone.
306
00:11:31,482 --> 00:11:32,962
Second of all, that
is your own rumor.
307
00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:34,920
People are gonna show up
expecting all this great stuff,
308
00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:36,696
and they're gonna be
disappointed and angry.
309
00:11:36,988 --> 00:11:39,407
Just like colonial williamsburg.
310
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,701
You need to nip this in the bud.
311
00:11:41,993 --> 00:11:45,496
Tell Kenneth what you've
done and cancel the party.
312
00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:52,170
Kenneth, thanks for letting
my cousins come to your party.
313
00:11:52,462 --> 00:11:53,462
Oh.
314
00:11:59,510 --> 00:12:00,510
Hey, Kenneth,
315
00:12:00,595 --> 00:12:02,435
you know how much I
like to joke around, right?
316
00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:04,307
Not really, Mr. Donaghy.
317
00:12:04,599 --> 00:12:05,016
Well, before, when I told you
318
00:12:05,308 --> 00:12:06,628
I didn't wanna
come to your party,
319
00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:08,519
I was just kidding!
320
00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:11,981
Isn't that a fantastic joke?
321
00:12:16,319 --> 00:12:18,613
I don't understand
what's happening.
322
00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:20,505
Well, the point is
that I have good news.
323
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,200
I may be able to stop by now.
324
00:12:22,492 --> 00:12:25,578
Oh, Mr. Donaghy, you don't
wanna go to my silly party.
325
00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:30,124
Oh... so that's the way
you wanna play this?
326
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:32,043
Whip 'em out, measure 'em.
327
00:12:32,335 --> 00:12:34,128
Kenneth, as an
executive vice president
328
00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:35,588
at general electric,
329
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:38,508
I'm ordering you to give me
one of those pink cupcakes.
330
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:42,470
Sir, I would love it if
you came to my party.
331
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:44,555
Yeah. You would.
332
00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:49,560
Sweet. Everyone's coming.
333
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:54,274
You're just in time, Lemon.
334
00:12:54,565 --> 00:12:55,191
Greenzo's segment
on The Today Show
335
00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:56,483
is about to begin.
336
00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:57,920
Yeah, I didn't write
anything for that guy.
337
00:12:57,944 --> 00:12:59,153
He has gone off the deep end.
338
00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:00,445
You gotta replace him.
339
00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:01,197
Don't mess with success, Lemon.
340
00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:03,324
Viewers love Greenzo.
Geiss loves Greenzo.
341
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:04,736
We're not changing anything.
342
00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:07,120
Hey, kids, can you
hold your breath?
343
00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:08,121
Good.
344
00:13:08,413 --> 00:13:09,622
Now do it forever.
345
00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:11,708
'Cause the air is
gonna be poisoned
346
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,168
unless we switch
to green technology.
347
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:16,671
Sold by our company.
I love this guy.
348
00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,763
You know, Greenzo, I
read that television sets
349
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:21,175
actually draw power even
when they're turned off.
350
00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:22,467
Wow.
351
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:26,306
Meredith just taught us a
very important lesson, kids.
352
00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:28,391
It's rude to interrupt people.
353
00:13:29,851 --> 00:13:32,145
Can Greenzo get
real here for a second?
354
00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:33,062
Did you know that there
are people out there
355
00:13:33,354 --> 00:13:36,899
with the power to
heal mother gaia,
356
00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:38,985
but they're paralyzed by greed?
357
00:13:39,277 --> 00:13:40,695
I'm talking about big companies
358
00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:44,407
and their two. Faced,
fa t ca t executives.
359
00:13:44,699 --> 00:13:46,034
Aah! What is he doing?
360
00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:47,327
Stay calm.
361
00:13:47,618 --> 00:13:49,888
Did you kids know that we
could actually end global warming
362
00:13:49,912 --> 00:13:51,414
in five years,
363
00:13:51,706 --> 00:13:55,251
if we just raised taxes on
the super-rich by just 2%?
364
00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:56,753
Wow, is that true?
365
00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:58,285
It doesn't matter if it's true.
366
00:13:58,421 --> 00:14:00,381
He works for that money.
367
00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,133
We've lost control of Greenzo.
368
00:14:02,425 --> 00:14:03,861
I knew we should have
gone with Angie harmon.
369
00:14:03,885 --> 00:14:04,886
Kill trees?
370
00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:07,764
Hey, Liz.
371
00:14:08,056 --> 00:14:09,056
Ugh.
372
00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:10,850
Look, obviously what happened
373
00:14:11,142 --> 00:14:13,144
in your bed last
night was a violation.
374
00:14:13,436 --> 00:14:14,645
So much hair.
375
00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:16,230
Sorry, she likes me natural.
376
00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:18,322
Listen, I am glad that
you're back with Paula.
377
00:14:18,441 --> 00:14:19,650
But when are you moving out?
378
00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:21,262
No, no, no, Liz.
I can't move out.
379
00:14:21,402 --> 00:14:24,197
Look, Paula and I got
married our sophomore year.
380
00:14:24,489 --> 00:14:26,949
She was pregnant 20
minutes into the first date.
381
00:14:27,241 --> 00:14:29,911
This is the first chance
we've had to just... be a couple.
382
00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:31,638
And our relationship
has never been better.
383
00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:32,942
We did it on your kitchen table.
384
00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:34,916
I shouldn't have told you that.
385
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,542
Liz, please.
386
00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:38,034
Please let me be your roommate
387
00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:39,379
so I can date my wife.
388
00:14:39,670 --> 00:14:42,215
Oh, I can't believe
I'm saying this.
389
00:14:42,507 --> 00:14:43,507
Okay.
390
00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:45,927
Yes! Oh, Liz, you're the best.
391
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:47,929
Oh, hey, could you
come home early tonight?
392
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:49,501
Paula wants to get caught again.
393
00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:52,225
Got it.
394
00:14:53,518 --> 00:14:56,562
Hey, you catch
me on today, Jack?
395
00:14:56,854 --> 00:14:59,065
Mary was totally digging me.
396
00:14:59,357 --> 00:15:00,357
Dude, have you hit that?
397
00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:01,984
Jared, I'm a little concerned
398
00:15:02,276 --> 00:15:04,070
that we're losing
our message here.
399
00:15:04,362 --> 00:15:06,114
It's non-judgmental,
business-friendly.
400
00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:09,742
Oh, no, no, no, no.
We're way past that, Jack.
401
00:15:10,034 --> 00:15:11,828
While you're out there
destroying the earth,
402
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:13,704
I'll be saving it.
403
00:15:13,996 --> 00:15:15,706
And history will remember me.
404
00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:17,208
When I die,
405
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:19,919
they'll wanna put
my face on money.
406
00:15:20,211 --> 00:15:22,004
If there were
money in the future
407
00:15:22,296 --> 00:15:23,923
instead of just hugs.
408
00:15:24,215 --> 00:15:25,675
Okay, you listen to me, Redzo.
409
00:15:25,967 --> 00:15:27,218
You either get on board,
410
00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:28,737
or you're gonna
wake up on that island
411
00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:30,155
with Phil donahue
and the electric car.
412
00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:30,888
You understand me?
413
00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:32,432
I made you what you are.
414
00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:34,725
No, I've always been Greenzo.
415
00:15:35,017 --> 00:15:36,269
You're crazy.
416
00:15:36,561 --> 00:15:37,562
And you're fired.
417
00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:40,565
Really?
418
00:15:40,857 --> 00:15:43,276
Can you fire the wind, Jack?
419
00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:45,862
Can you fire a hurricane?
420
00:15:49,657 --> 00:15:51,909
We're developing
that technology!
421
00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:55,580
Hey, Liz, you going
to Kenneth's party?
422
00:15:55,872 --> 00:15:57,039
Is this party still on?
423
00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:58,040
Oh, it better be.
424
00:15:58,332 --> 00:16:00,418
The Harlem globetrotters
are gonna be there.
425
00:16:00,710 --> 00:16:02,462
The girl from heroes
is gonna take a shower.
426
00:16:02,753 --> 00:16:03,753
Oh, wow.
427
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:05,715
Now Jack is going to this party?
428
00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:07,860
This is nuts... you said you
were gonna shut it down.
429
00:16:07,884 --> 00:16:09,677
I couldn't. This means
too much to Ken.
430
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:11,846
And when everyone
shows up and it sucks?
431
00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:13,138
It's not going to.
432
00:16:13,264 --> 00:16:15,600
This party's about to
become a Tracy Jordan joint!
433
00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:16,932
And what does that entail?
434
00:16:17,185 --> 00:16:18,352
Here we go!
435
00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:25,401
I've called this
meeting to discuss
436
00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:27,987
what happened last
night at Kenneth's party.
437
00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:31,323
Aah!
438
00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:35,077
Grr!
439
00:16:35,369 --> 00:16:36,954
Kiss me.
440
00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:40,833
We all went in with
certain expectations.
441
00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:42,125
The evening
442
00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:44,003
took a nasty left turn.
443
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:51,052
Now we must face certain facts
444
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,137
in the cold light of day.
445
00:17:00,061 --> 00:17:02,980
Y'all should be
ashamed of yourselves.
446
00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:06,067
Mr. Lutz, you ate all my
parakeet's medication.
447
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:07,944
And thanks to
you, Sonny Crockett
448
00:17:08,236 --> 00:17:10,029
has been having
seizures all morning.
449
00:17:10,321 --> 00:17:11,489
Mr. Hornberger,
450
00:17:11,781 --> 00:17:13,461
I would thank you to
come pick up your wife
451
00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:15,493
at some point.
452
00:17:15,785 --> 00:17:19,622
Mr. Jordan, I saw
you steal my sink.
453
00:17:19,914 --> 00:17:21,123
Harlem globetrotter...
454
00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:25,878
Does that name
mean nothing to you?
455
00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:28,381
And Ms. Lemon.
456
00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:30,591
I will ha ve you know
457
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:31,884
that before last night,
458
00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:36,430
I had never, ever seen
Grizz or Dotcom cry.
459
00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:38,516
I'm sorry.
460
00:17:41,269 --> 00:17:41,936
I want you all
461
00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:43,563
to think about what you did.
462
00:17:48,859 --> 00:17:49,902
Uhh!
463
00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:56,909
Congratulations.
464
00:17:57,201 --> 00:17:59,453
You were all present
at Kenneth Parcell's
465
00:17:59,745 --> 00:18:01,163
last party ever.
466
00:18:04,875 --> 00:18:06,919
Mr. Donaghy, uh...
467
00:18:07,211 --> 00:18:08,838
They are ready
for you downstairs.
468
00:18:09,130 --> 00:18:11,799
I'm gonna, uh...
469
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,426
Need a moment.
470
00:18:13,718 --> 00:18:14,885
What is this for?
471
00:18:15,177 --> 00:18:17,177
The Today Show was
expecting another green segment.
472
00:18:17,221 --> 00:18:18,347
Don Geiss is expecting it.
473
00:18:18,639 --> 00:18:19,932
It's gonna happen.
474
00:18:20,224 --> 00:18:21,475
But you fired Jared,
475
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:23,769
so who's gonna...
476
00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:25,141
Oh, my god. That's Al Gore.
477
00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:26,814
Is he gonna be the new Greenzo?
478
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,106
Uh, not exactly.
479
00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:30,110
I may have gotten him
here under false pretenses.
480
00:18:30,192 --> 00:18:31,527
Hey, Jack, good
to see you again.
481
00:18:31,819 --> 00:18:32,194
Mr. Vice president.
482
00:18:32,486 --> 00:18:33,486
Hi, how are you?
483
00:18:33,738 --> 00:18:34,905
I'm Lemon.
484
00:18:35,197 --> 00:18:37,575
So I'm excited to see this
trash-powered car of yours.
485
00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:39,285
How do you two
even know each other?
486
00:18:39,577 --> 00:18:42,204
We met when Jack was an
intern for senator Ted Kennedy.
487
00:18:42,496 --> 00:18:44,376
Let me tell ya, Jack
was the most liberal guy...
488
00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:45,624
Da, da, da, da, da.
489
00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:46,833
The thing is,
490
00:18:47,043 --> 00:18:48,723
the G.E. garbage car
isn't quite ready yet.
491
00:18:48,878 --> 00:18:49,587
But while you're
here, what do you say
492
00:18:49,879 --> 00:18:51,719
you throw on a pair of
green tights and a cape,
493
00:18:52,006 --> 00:18:53,066
and tell the kids
how big business
494
00:18:53,090 --> 00:18:54,151
is good for the environment?
495
00:18:54,175 --> 00:18:55,551
I have no interest
in doing that.
496
00:18:55,843 --> 00:18:56,987
Al, we're with you on
this whole planet thing.
497
00:18:57,011 --> 00:18:58,030
I mean, look at the set we built
498
00:18:58,054 --> 00:18:59,889
with the smiley-face earth
499
00:19:00,181 --> 00:19:00,514
and some green things.
500
00:19:00,806 --> 00:19:02,850
Jack, look, we're
way beyond that.
501
00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:04,935
If your network really
wants to demonstrate
502
00:19:05,227 --> 00:19:06,812
a commitment to the environment,
503
00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:08,814
why don't you start
by, for example,
504
00:19:09,106 --> 00:19:10,274
having an entire week
505
00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:12,151
with nothing but
environmental themes
506
00:19:12,443 --> 00:19:13,444
on all the programs?
507
00:19:13,736 --> 00:19:15,529
Use entertainment for substance.
508
00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:17,381
You could have a
character in prime time
509
00:19:17,573 --> 00:19:20,076
making a passionate
argument to the American people
510
00:19:20,368 --> 00:19:23,871
that we need co2 taxes
to replace the payroll taxes.
511
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,790
Your parent company
could lobby congress
512
00:19:26,082 --> 00:19:27,833
and the president
to pass the treaty
513
00:19:28,125 --> 00:19:29,125
and save the climate.
514
00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:30,252
Yes, or...
515
00:19:30,544 --> 00:19:32,344
You could put on a
silly hat and tell the kids
516
00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:34,298
how outsourcing means
cheaper toys at Christmas.
517
00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:35,870
This is not working
for me, Jack.
518
00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:38,719
All right, let's do this!
519
00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:40,155
Jared, what are you doing here?
520
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:41,179
Whoa.
521
00:19:41,347 --> 00:19:42,890
Al Gore?
522
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:44,350
What's up?
523
00:19:44,642 --> 00:19:45,869
Jared, it's time for you to go.
524
00:19:45,893 --> 00:19:46,893
No, no!
525
00:19:46,977 --> 00:19:48,729
The show must go on!
526
00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:51,691
Back off, Jack! Or
you'll be greenzoed!
527
00:19:51,982 --> 00:19:53,901
You'll all be greenzoed!
528
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:55,444
Jared! Jared!
529
00:19:55,736 --> 00:19:57,822
I... I am so sorry,
Mr. Vice president.
530
00:19:58,114 --> 00:19:59,274
This all started when Jack...
531
00:19:59,407 --> 00:20:02,410
Quiet!
532
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:04,120
A whale is in trouble.
533
00:20:04,412 --> 00:20:06,664
I have to go.
534
00:20:06,956 --> 00:20:07,956
Give it to me!
535
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:13,044
Oh!
536
00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:16,900
Oh, boy, okay.
This earth is ruined!
537
00:20:16,924 --> 00:20:18,759
We gotta get a new one.
37584
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