All language subtitles for 30 Rock (2005) - S02E02 - Jack Gets in the Game.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,046 --> 00:00:05,923 You wanted to see me? 2 00:00:06,215 --> 00:00:07,966 Yes, I did. 3 00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:10,219 This is a $54 steak. 4 00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:12,137 Congratulations. It looks really good. 5 00:00:12,429 --> 00:00:13,764 Yes, it does. 6 00:00:14,056 --> 00:00:16,159 And of course I can't eat it because of my recent, uh... 7 00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:16,892 Heart attack. 8 00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:18,352 Secret heart attack. 9 00:00:18,644 --> 00:00:20,187 No strenuous activity, 10 00:00:20,479 --> 00:00:21,563 no red meat, no booze. 11 00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:24,399 But I thought perhaps you might enjoy it. 12 00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:26,360 Oh, okay. Thanks. 13 00:00:26,652 --> 00:00:28,403 This'll make a great sandwich tomorrow. 14 00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:30,447 Oh, no... I would like you to eat it here. 15 00:00:30,739 --> 00:00:32,241 Right now. 16 00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:38,580 You want to watch me eat this steak in front of you? 17 00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:40,874 That's what I want. 18 00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:43,919 Okay. 19 00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:45,772 This is a time of new beginnings for me, Lemon. 20 00:00:45,796 --> 00:00:50,300 And of course that means new opportunities. 21 00:00:50,592 --> 00:00:52,153 Have you read the interview with Don Geiss 22 00:00:52,177 --> 00:00:54,805 in this month's issue of yachting illustrated? 23 00:00:55,097 --> 00:00:57,224 Uh, no. I subscribe to giant boats. 24 00:00:57,516 --> 00:01:00,310 "'The ocean, '" says Geiss, "'like business, 25 00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:02,813 "with a pillowy abyss of a lover's bosom," 26 00:01:03,105 --> 00:01:06,483 "seems infinite, but all things must end.'" 27 00:01:06,775 --> 00:01:08,110 pillowy abyss? 28 00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:09,402 Ignore that part. 29 00:01:09,611 --> 00:01:11,655 "All things must end." 30 00:01:11,947 --> 00:01:13,699 Geiss is sending signals about retirement, 31 00:01:13,991 --> 00:01:14,991 about succession. 32 00:01:15,242 --> 00:01:17,786 By talking about sex in a sailing magazine? 33 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,764 That's exactly how Margaret Thatcher did it. 34 00:01:19,788 --> 00:01:23,750 Geiss' job is the most coveted position in the free world. 35 00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:25,228 Well, you're in the running for it, right? 36 00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:26,962 I would like to think so. 37 00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:29,840 But I've got to do something to raise my profile, 38 00:01:30,132 --> 00:01:32,759 to distinguish me in some way 39 00:01:33,051 --> 00:01:35,137 and I have to do it soon... 40 00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:36,972 You ate that whole thing? 41 00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:39,057 A dog took it. 42 00:01:39,349 --> 00:01:41,435 He came out of nowhere. 43 00:01:44,646 --> 00:01:52,529 ♪ ♪ 44 00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:02,623 Hey, Jenna, what's up? 45 00:02:02,914 --> 00:02:03,914 Pretty good. 46 00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:05,166 Are you okay? 47 00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:05,834 Oh, I'm fine, Jenna. 48 00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,312 I'm just a little light-headed. 49 00:02:07,336 --> 00:02:07,919 I'm on a crash diet 50 00:02:08,211 --> 00:02:09,731 to get back to my old weight by Friday. 51 00:02:10,005 --> 00:02:11,285 Well, what diet is gonna do that? 52 00:02:11,506 --> 00:02:13,342 Oh, it's the Japanese porn star diet. 53 00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:14,634 I only eat paper, 54 00:02:14,885 --> 00:02:17,262 but I can eat all the paper I want, so... 55 00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:18,930 Hey there. 56 00:02:19,222 --> 00:02:20,599 Hi. 57 00:02:20,891 --> 00:02:22,809 Jenna. 58 00:02:23,101 --> 00:02:24,353 This isn't healthy. 59 00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:27,189 Maybe you're just fighting your natural shape. 60 00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:29,001 When did your mom gain all that weight? 61 00:02:29,232 --> 00:02:31,860 Oh, god! 62 00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:33,838 My point is don't let people make you crazy about this. 63 00:02:33,862 --> 00:02:35,989 You are just as beautiful and talented 64 00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:37,449 as you ever were. 65 00:02:37,741 --> 00:02:39,826 No... no, no, no... you are fat. 66 00:02:40,118 --> 00:02:41,304 Now go and see Dr. Spaceman right now 67 00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:42,408 and get this taken care of. 68 00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:47,542 How come men can be heavy and be respected? 69 00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:50,212 Like James Gandolfini or Fat Albert? 70 00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:51,504 It's a double standard, 71 00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:55,008 and america needs to get over its body-image madness. 72 00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:55,967 Oh, come on. 73 00:02:56,259 --> 00:02:57,939 What, are we back in college freshman year? 74 00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:00,091 Let's go to the common room and talk about apartheid. 75 00:03:00,263 --> 00:03:01,263 Yeah, well, okay... 76 00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:03,159 I'm sorry if I care about making the world a better place. 77 00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,452 You should be; It's a complete waste of time 78 00:03:04,476 --> 00:03:07,062 and it prevents you from dealing with this. 79 00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:08,980 Excuse me, what about this 80 00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:10,857 do I have to deal with? 81 00:03:11,149 --> 00:03:12,229 How's your love life going? 82 00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:13,694 I believe that love comes to you 83 00:03:13,985 --> 00:03:15,088 when you're not looking for it. 84 00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:16,964 Did you return that wedding dress that you bought? 85 00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:17,988 I'm gonna sell it online 86 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:19,533 but my Internet is being weird. 87 00:03:19,825 --> 00:03:21,344 How about the furniture for your home office? 88 00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:23,245 Have you even set that up yet? 89 00:03:25,747 --> 00:03:27,374 I'm not making excuses, Jack. 90 00:03:27,666 --> 00:03:30,711 But this is taken care of... ow! 91 00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:32,462 Oh, it hurts! 92 00:03:32,754 --> 00:03:34,673 I missed a dentist appointment this morning. 93 00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:37,718 Josh to the Stage, please, for illeana Douglas talk show. 94 00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:39,553 Son of a bitch. 95 00:03:39,845 --> 00:03:41,263 Banks. 96 00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:42,615 What are you doing in town? 97 00:03:42,639 --> 00:03:45,475 You drawn to the phallic nature of our skyline? 98 00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:46,977 Ha, very funny, Jack. 99 00:03:47,269 --> 00:03:48,937 How gay is this? 100 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:51,690 I'm here visiting my fiance. 101 00:03:51,982 --> 00:03:53,191 What? 102 00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:54,483 Kathy, 103 00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:57,362 this is Jack Donaghy 104 00:03:57,654 --> 00:03:59,072 Banks, have you lost your mind? 105 00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:00,907 Oh, did I forget to mention 106 00:04:01,199 --> 00:04:03,160 that Kathy is Kathy Geiss, 107 00:04:03,452 --> 00:04:06,079 as in Don Geiss' daughter? 108 00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:08,206 Can you believe that Don thought 109 00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:11,126 she'd never get married? 110 00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:13,545 You can't, you're gay. 111 00:04:13,837 --> 00:04:14,546 No, not anymore, friend. 112 00:04:14,838 --> 00:04:17,174 You familiar with the church of practicology? 113 00:04:17,466 --> 00:04:19,346 You mean the cult that was invented by Stan Lee? 114 00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:21,928 No, I mean the religion founded by the alien King 115 00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:23,805 living inside Stan Lee. 116 00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:25,724 See, it's my faith in practicology 117 00:04:26,016 --> 00:04:29,770 that has helped me uncover my true, straight self. 118 00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:32,814 It's definitely working. 119 00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:35,567 I can totally feel the gay draining right out of me. 120 00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:38,195 By the eye of Zolnak, right, guys? 121 00:04:38,487 --> 00:04:40,947 You're gonna be Don Geiss! Son-in-law? 122 00:04:41,239 --> 00:04:42,365 That's right. 123 00:04:42,657 --> 00:04:44,057 And if you read his recent interview 124 00:04:44,201 --> 00:04:45,744 in the Harvard gay business review, 125 00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:48,038 you'd know that he's thinking about retirement. 126 00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:50,665 But I guess I'll find out more about that 127 00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:54,002 tonight at dinner... 128 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,004 With Geiss... 129 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,089 At a restaurant. 130 00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:06,348 Oh. 131 00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:09,935 Josh to the Stage, please... 132 00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:11,394 Yo, Ken. 133 00:05:11,686 --> 00:05:12,955 Uh, Angie and Grizz is coming by 134 00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:14,139 to drop some of my stuff off. 135 00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:15,356 Oh, okay. 136 00:05:15,398 --> 00:05:16,518 Yeah, but I want her to know 137 00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:18,169 that I'm having a good time on my own, 138 00:05:18,193 --> 00:05:19,903 so you should go get us some party hats. 139 00:05:20,195 --> 00:05:20,862 The pointy kind. 140 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:23,073 Mr. Jordan, can't you just apologize to her? 141 00:05:23,365 --> 00:05:24,365 No! 142 00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:25,468 'Cause things have been said 143 00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:26,868 that cannot be taken back. 144 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,996 She called my vanity license plate inscrutable! 145 00:05:30,288 --> 00:05:33,667 "I see you ate one, am I?" 146 00:05:33,959 --> 00:05:35,001 Hilarious. 147 00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:36,878 Angie is in the past, 148 00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,339 like Dracula and broadcast television. 149 00:05:39,631 --> 00:05:40,911 I think you're letting your pride 150 00:05:41,091 --> 00:05:42,259 get in the way, Mr. Jordan. 151 00:05:42,551 --> 00:05:44,511 I mean, if you saw Angie with another man... 152 00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:45,803 With who? 153 00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:48,515 That guy Mike that re-did our driveway? 154 00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:50,517 Nah, whatever. 155 00:05:50,809 --> 00:05:52,936 She should find someone new. 156 00:05:53,228 --> 00:05:55,188 Doesn't bother me. 157 00:05:58,149 --> 00:05:59,359 Dotcom, I have an idea. 158 00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:01,291 Well, I don't know, but it's worth a shot. 159 00:06:01,486 --> 00:06:03,738 Are you even listening to me? 160 00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:06,157 Now, Jenna, medically speaking, 161 00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:08,577 for your height, your weight puts you in 162 00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:10,996 what we call the disgusting range. 163 00:06:11,288 --> 00:06:13,707 Fortunately, there are solutions. 164 00:06:13,999 --> 00:06:14,999 For example, 165 00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:17,419 crystal meth has been shown to be very effective. 166 00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:18,795 Hmm. 167 00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:21,089 How important is tooth retention to you? 168 00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:24,384 It's pretty important. 169 00:06:24,676 --> 00:06:27,929 What about my crazy surgical options, Dr. Spaceman? 170 00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:31,308 Oh, please... Dr. Spaceman is my dad. 171 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:34,019 Call me Leo. 172 00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:36,897 And there are some wonderful crazy surgical options. 173 00:06:37,188 --> 00:06:40,442 Are you familiar with the bradshaw clinic? 174 00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:41,902 Am I? 175 00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:44,321 That's where the Olsen twins were separated. 176 00:06:44,613 --> 00:06:46,907 I've sent a number of my famous clients there. 177 00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:48,199 I can make a call, 178 00:06:48,491 --> 00:06:50,160 get you in as soon as possible. 179 00:06:50,452 --> 00:06:51,452 Thank you, Leo. 180 00:06:51,536 --> 00:06:54,539 I can't be on television looking like 181 00:06:54,831 --> 00:06:56,071 I just had a baby or something. 182 00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:58,084 You know, this right here 183 00:06:58,376 --> 00:07:00,629 is why I got into medicine. 184 00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:03,173 Devin's a genius. 185 00:07:03,465 --> 00:07:04,465 A genius? 186 00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:05,526 Isn't he just living a lie 187 00:07:05,550 --> 00:07:06,550 to get ahead at work? 188 00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:07,793 Well, we all have our secrets. 189 00:07:07,969 --> 00:07:09,289 Devin's pretending to be straight. 190 00:07:09,346 --> 00:07:11,264 I'm trying to keep my heart episode under wraps. 191 00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:12,636 And Alan Garkel in legal... 192 00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:14,285 I don't think he really needs that wheelchair. 193 00:07:14,309 --> 00:07:15,894 No. 194 00:07:24,903 --> 00:07:25,903 Ah! 195 00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:27,572 Oh, Mr. Banks. 196 00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:28,990 I didn't see you there. 197 00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:29,866 Well, I've been following you 198 00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:31,868 for the better part of an hour, Kenneth. 199 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:33,870 Does Mr. Donaghy know you're here? 200 00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:36,331 I don't need Jack's permission, Kenneth. 201 00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:38,625 I'm gonna be running this place soon, 202 00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:41,795 and there are gonna be some changes 203 00:07:42,087 --> 00:07:44,089 to the page's uniform, certainly. 204 00:07:44,381 --> 00:07:47,550 Mr. Banks, Mr. Donaghy eats guys like you 205 00:07:47,842 --> 00:07:49,082 as part of a healthy breakfast. 206 00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:51,763 And I'm sure you think he's weak right now, 207 00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:55,934 but he's only gotten stronger since his heart attack. 208 00:07:56,226 --> 00:07:57,811 Heart attack? Really? 209 00:07:58,103 --> 00:07:59,688 Right, Mr. D? 210 00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:01,231 High five! 211 00:08:01,523 --> 00:08:03,608 Not now? Okay. 212 00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,656 What is this? Liposuction? 213 00:08:09,948 --> 00:08:11,491 Plus bone-shaving and organ reduction. 214 00:08:11,783 --> 00:08:12,951 Ah. 215 00:08:13,243 --> 00:08:14,283 Liz, you don't understand. 216 00:08:14,369 --> 00:08:16,705 People look at me differently know. 217 00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:19,916 Jack, the writers, the Manager at forever 21. 218 00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:22,419 That is their problem, not yours. 219 00:08:22,711 --> 00:08:24,087 Is this clinic on a boat? 220 00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:26,059 Hey, I've got a character for Jenna called, 221 00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:27,340 "me want food." 222 00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:28,632 She's in a supermarket 223 00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:31,594 and she keeps going, "me want food!" 224 00:08:31,886 --> 00:08:33,388 What? No, we are not treating Jenna 225 00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:34,889 any differently. 226 00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:36,450 She's gonna play all the characters 227 00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:38,314 that she usually plays, like Hillary Clinton... 228 00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:39,769 That's awesome. Fat Hillary. 229 00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:41,813 She can be, like, "me want food!" 230 00:08:42,105 --> 00:08:44,482 No one is saying, "me want food," Frank. 231 00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:47,027 We are gonna showcase Jenna's talents. 232 00:08:47,318 --> 00:08:48,518 Can I sing a song on the show? 233 00:08:48,737 --> 00:08:49,738 Yes, that's a great idea. 234 00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:51,614 Can I sing and roller dance? 235 00:08:51,906 --> 00:08:53,408 Yes. 236 00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:55,952 Yeah, because we are gonna dare america 237 00:08:56,244 --> 00:08:58,084 to change their own attitudes about body image. 238 00:08:58,371 --> 00:08:59,748 Why do you have to make everything 239 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,124 into an issue? 240 00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:02,643 Don't you have things to do in your own life? 241 00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:04,227 At least I don't live with my mom... ow. 242 00:09:04,335 --> 00:09:05,003 Hey, my mom's cool. 243 00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:07,922 I got my own life together, okay? 244 00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:10,425 Holy crap, did your tooth just fall out? 245 00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:13,094 Oh, that's not great, huh? 246 00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:14,804 Oh, check this out. 247 00:09:15,096 --> 00:09:18,433 My key to the city of Gary, Indiana. 248 00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:20,393 Mm, look at this. 249 00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:23,938 My gold record for my novelty party song. 250 00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:25,523 ♪ Werewolf Bar Mitzvah ♪ 251 00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:27,233 ♪ spooky scary ♪ 252 00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:28,985 ♪ boys becoming men ♪ 253 00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:31,237 ♪ men becoming wolves ♪ ♪ 254 00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:32,864 Well, I'm going now. 255 00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:35,784 Is there anything else you want to say, Tracy? 256 00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:37,076 Yeah. 257 00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:38,661 I miss you, Grizz. 258 00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:41,331 Ugh! 259 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,002 Hello, Angie. 260 00:09:46,294 --> 00:09:48,379 I hear you're single now. That's cool. 261 00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:50,006 What? 262 00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:52,008 I like your top. 263 00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:53,593 I'm a real good sex person. 264 00:09:53,885 --> 00:09:55,428 I do it all the different ways. 265 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:57,138 Uh.huh. 266 00:09:57,430 --> 00:10:00,558 Well, I don't have a husband anymore, 267 00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:02,310 so you can come over 268 00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:03,602 anytime. 269 00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:05,647 Oh, I will. 270 00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:07,065 I'll come over at night. 271 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:16,533 Good job, Kenneth. 272 00:10:16,825 --> 00:10:19,160 Oh, ha. You should see my "a" game. 273 00:10:24,999 --> 00:10:25,708 Oh! 274 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,753 So, dad... mm... 275 00:10:29,045 --> 00:10:30,045 Can I call you dad? 276 00:10:30,088 --> 00:10:31,088 Why not? 277 00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:32,966 I have a grandkid who calls me Don. 278 00:10:33,258 --> 00:10:34,258 Next time he does it, 279 00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:37,262 I marching that little bastard to a recruiting station. 280 00:10:37,554 --> 00:10:40,056 Ha! Great story, dad. 281 00:10:40,348 --> 00:10:41,933 Don? Devin? 282 00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:43,768 Jack! Small world! 283 00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:45,061 Join us. 284 00:10:45,353 --> 00:10:46,020 Are you sure? I wouldn't want to intrude. 285 00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:47,814 This is manon. 286 00:10:48,106 --> 00:10:49,106 I never should've said 287 00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:51,109 we were going to a restaurant. 288 00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:57,073 ♪ ♪ 289 00:10:57,365 --> 00:10:59,033 She got big. 290 00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:04,205 Oh, her center of gravity is a little different. 291 00:11:10,587 --> 00:11:13,047 Me want food! 292 00:11:21,139 --> 00:11:23,224 Did you happen to tell Geiss about my little episode? 293 00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:26,769 Come on, Jack. I'd never rat you out. 294 00:11:27,061 --> 00:11:29,397 Wouldn't want to let you off that easy. 295 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:30,356 Here... 296 00:11:30,648 --> 00:11:32,984 Take some of my steak. 297 00:11:33,276 --> 00:11:34,694 I could never eat this much meat. 298 00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:36,738 That's not what I hear. Ha ha! 299 00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:38,823 Jack, we're having a little get together 300 00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:40,235 up at the house on Saturday. 301 00:11:40,408 --> 00:11:41,409 You should come. 302 00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:44,454 That would be my pleasure, sir. 303 00:11:44,746 --> 00:11:46,331 Yeah, you should come. 304 00:11:46,623 --> 00:11:48,917 It's gonna be a whole day of team sports 305 00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:50,710 and beer. 306 00:11:51,002 --> 00:11:52,337 Get the old heart rate up. 307 00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:54,964 Maybe pound a cheeseburger in the sun, 308 00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:55,965 throw some butter on it. 309 00:11:56,257 --> 00:11:57,675 You're gonna love it! 310 00:11:59,302 --> 00:12:01,137 Ah. 311 00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:03,264 I'm gonna make your heart explode. 312 00:12:10,355 --> 00:12:11,475 Hey, Ken 313 00:12:11,689 --> 00:12:14,525 you're up early, Mr. Jordan. 314 00:12:14,817 --> 00:12:16,819 I only got 11 or 12 hours of sleep last night. 315 00:12:17,111 --> 00:12:18,863 I got something on my mind grapes 316 00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:20,275 I need to talk to you about. 317 00:12:20,323 --> 00:12:22,116 Oh, what is it, sir? 318 00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:24,410 I saw you hitting on Angie the other day. 319 00:12:24,702 --> 00:12:25,703 Seeing you with her, 320 00:12:25,995 --> 00:12:27,497 it opened my eyes. 321 00:12:27,789 --> 00:12:28,998 Good for you, sir. 322 00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:31,834 Yeah, all those years fooling around 323 00:12:32,126 --> 00:12:33,628 wasn't fair to her. 324 00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:36,047 So you gotta make it fair! 325 00:12:36,339 --> 00:12:37,882 I want you to go to my house 326 00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:39,926 and make love to my wife, Ken. 327 00:12:40,218 --> 00:12:41,761 Jiminy Christmas! 328 00:12:42,053 --> 00:12:44,138 My home address is in the GPS under "dacrib" 329 00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:46,140 'cause we live on dacrib Avenue. 330 00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:49,269 Now you go to Angie. 331 00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:51,771 And you make sure you pleasure her! 332 00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:55,817 Well, they did laugh. 333 00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:57,318 At you, Jenna. At. 334 00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:58,903 Right, the bad kind. 335 00:12:59,195 --> 00:13:01,447 You just can't be a real woman in this country. 336 00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:03,179 God, it's like those dove commercials 337 00:13:03,408 --> 00:13:04,701 never even happened. 338 00:13:04,993 --> 00:13:06,244 Hey! Oh! 339 00:13:06,536 --> 00:13:07,537 Me want food! 340 00:13:07,829 --> 00:13:10,623 This woman was a mouseketeer, ma'am.. 341 00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:12,125 Let it go, Liz. 342 00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:14,210 Me want food! 343 00:13:18,089 --> 00:13:20,258 Oh, my god! My own t-shirt! 344 00:13:20,550 --> 00:13:22,677 Hey, I am wanting the foods! 345 00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:24,345 Very good. Very nice. 346 00:13:31,227 --> 00:13:32,228 Attaboy! Yeah! 347 00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:33,521 All right. 348 00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:35,690 Thanks, Jack. You earned me a grand! 349 00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:37,900 Thank you. 350 00:13:40,194 --> 00:13:42,905 How's the heart holding up, buddy? 351 00:13:43,197 --> 00:13:44,657 You know, you ought to just quit. 352 00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:45,949 Geiss loves quitters, 353 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:48,411 if I understood his autobiography correctly. 354 00:13:48,703 --> 00:13:49,704 Oh, wait... I didn't. 355 00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:52,832 You know what? It's all right, Jack. 356 00:13:53,124 --> 00:13:54,876 When you're dead and I'm CEO, 357 00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:58,254 oh, my... 358 00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:03,343 Winthrop! 359 00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:04,844 How do you do it, man? 360 00:14:05,136 --> 00:14:06,322 You're always in such great shape. 361 00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:08,106 Same weight as when I wrestled at Yale, Jack. 362 00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:09,807 Winthrop here wrestled at Yale. 363 00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:11,267 With other dudes, or... 364 00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:13,144 Banks says he can pin you. 365 00:14:13,436 --> 00:14:14,436 Well, I don't... 366 00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:15,897 Okay, well... 367 00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:17,690 You're so strong! 368 00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:19,359 Oh, god! 369 00:14:19,650 --> 00:14:20,902 You're having your way with me. 370 00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:22,820 Your back is like a barrel of snakes! 371 00:14:23,112 --> 00:14:24,614 Oh, god! I'm just your doll! 372 00:14:24,906 --> 00:14:27,116 I think I love you. We're joking! 373 00:14:27,408 --> 00:14:28,408 It's all jokes! 374 00:14:28,451 --> 00:14:32,747 ♪ This is no ordinary love ♪ ♪ 375 00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:34,248 What have I done? 376 00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:35,875 Kenneth should be back by now. 377 00:14:36,167 --> 00:14:38,628 What's going on over at my house? 378 00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:40,088 Ugh. 379 00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:45,301 ♪ This is no ordinary love ♪ 380 00:14:45,593 --> 00:14:49,055 ♪ no ordinary love ♪ 381 00:14:49,347 --> 00:14:57,105 ♪ ♪ 382 00:15:02,985 --> 00:15:03,985 No... 383 00:15:04,028 --> 00:15:07,031 No! Ehh... I gotta stop this. 384 00:15:17,125 --> 00:15:18,793 Wow. 385 00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:20,086 There she is! 386 00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:21,587 "Me want food." 387 00:15:21,879 --> 00:15:23,423 Ha. 388 00:15:23,714 --> 00:15:25,508 Did you know, scientifically speaking, 389 00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:28,094 that humans want food but don't need it. 390 00:15:28,386 --> 00:15:29,906 You know... you know, I'm really having 391 00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:31,458 second thoughts about all of this. 392 00:15:31,556 --> 00:15:33,224 Oh, don't worry. 393 00:15:33,516 --> 00:15:35,143 Dr. Wally is the best there is. 394 00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:38,271 In a few hours, you'll be back to your old self. 395 00:15:38,563 --> 00:15:41,816 It'll be like none of this ever happened. 396 00:15:49,407 --> 00:15:51,868 I'm keeping it! 397 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:53,828 Uh, what? The fat. 398 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:55,413 I've decided to keep it 399 00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:57,457 because people recognize me, 400 00:15:57,748 --> 00:15:59,250 and I get off on it. 401 00:15:59,542 --> 00:16:01,061 No, if you're gonna do this it's gotta be because 402 00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:03,838 we are proving a point to the world. 403 00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:06,424 Ugh! I'm not trying to prove anything. 404 00:16:06,716 --> 00:16:08,110 And you've got to stop telling people 405 00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:09,135 how to run their lives. 406 00:16:09,427 --> 00:16:10,761 That's not what this is. 407 00:16:11,053 --> 00:16:12,531 And it's kind of hard to take life advice 408 00:16:12,555 --> 00:16:14,724 from a single woman who is using her treadmill 409 00:16:15,016 --> 00:16:16,434 as a hanger for a wedding dress. 410 00:16:16,726 --> 00:16:17,953 Oh, I guess I'm just supposed to put it 411 00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,604 in the closet with ham fat all over it. 412 00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:21,814 And who's wearing a one-piece swimsuit 413 00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:22,815 instead of underwear. 414 00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:24,734 I have to do laundry. 415 00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:34,160 There he is! 416 00:16:34,452 --> 00:16:36,913 Hey, Jack. Want a hot dog? 417 00:16:37,205 --> 00:16:38,247 Oh, right! 418 00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:39,539 The sodium. 419 00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:41,292 Bum-Bum. 420 00:16:41,584 --> 00:16:42,710 Bum-Bum. 421 00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:44,002 Ka-boom. 422 00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:48,131 Just so you know, 423 00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:49,861 if you hear this sound at your funeral, 424 00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,344 it's just me laughing! 425 00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:07,234 I can't hear you, Banks. 426 00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:11,781 Are you saying you want me to help you? 427 00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:13,783 Oh. 428 00:17:14,075 --> 00:17:15,451 And if I do, 429 00:17:15,743 --> 00:17:17,743 you'll stop trying to destroy me in front of Geiss? 430 00:17:19,247 --> 00:17:21,123 Oh. 431 00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:22,735 That is what you're saying, right? 432 00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:24,335 Here we go. 433 00:17:30,508 --> 00:17:31,509 You're insane. 434 00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:34,220 That's it! I quit! 435 00:17:34,512 --> 00:17:35,930 No more football. 436 00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:41,644 Jack wins. 437 00:17:41,936 --> 00:17:43,020 Quitter! 438 00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:45,231 Oh, god! Just like the Greeks! 439 00:17:47,942 --> 00:17:50,361 I'm gonna kill you, Kenneth the page! 440 00:17:50,653 --> 00:17:52,405 I'm sorry, Mr. Jordan. 441 00:17:52,697 --> 00:17:53,406 I couldn't do it. 442 00:17:53,698 --> 00:17:54,778 This boy comes to the door, 443 00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:56,409 tries to kiss me, 444 00:17:56,701 --> 00:17:58,286 then he throws up and starts crying. 445 00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:00,288 My body wouldn't let me violate 446 00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:01,900 the sacred bonds of marriage, sir. 447 00:18:02,164 --> 00:18:04,834 It was a gesture, Angie! 448 00:18:05,126 --> 00:18:06,335 I'm saying I'm sorry. 449 00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:08,754 I'm at the end of my rope, Tracy Jordan. 450 00:18:09,046 --> 00:18:10,756 But baby... oh, mmm. 451 00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:13,718 No more jewelry with my name misspelled. 452 00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:17,555 No more sexually explicit sky writing. 453 00:18:17,847 --> 00:18:19,167 And no more white boys throwing up 454 00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:20,516 in my damn foyer. 455 00:18:20,808 --> 00:18:22,310 What do you want? 456 00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:26,689 I'm willing to try anything. 457 00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:29,275 Okay, here's what I want. 458 00:18:29,567 --> 00:18:32,612 From now on, I'm on you like white on rice. 459 00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:34,447 You are not to leave my sight 460 00:18:34,739 --> 00:18:36,824 for one second... ever. 461 00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:40,328 All right. 462 00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:41,746 If that's what it takes. 463 00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:44,040 If that's what it takes. 464 00:18:44,332 --> 00:18:45,625 Love you, baby. 465 00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:47,835 This grilled cheese has mayonnaise in it! 466 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,420 What? 467 00:18:52,965 --> 00:19:00,014 ♪ ♪ 468 00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:08,773 Hmm. 469 00:19:10,941 --> 00:19:12,693 Is it really worth it? 470 00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:14,862 I wonder. 471 00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:16,954 I mean, I almost let a man die today, Caitlin. 472 00:19:17,114 --> 00:19:18,114 And for what? 473 00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:20,201 For a bigger office? For more money? 474 00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:23,287 Jack. 475 00:19:25,206 --> 00:19:28,292 So... how's the ticker? 476 00:19:28,584 --> 00:19:30,586 Devin told me. 477 00:19:30,878 --> 00:19:32,922 He said you're not a well man. 478 00:19:33,214 --> 00:19:35,716 Well, why don't we forget about Devin for the moment. 479 00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:37,110 Are you concerned about my heart, sir? 480 00:19:37,134 --> 00:19:37,843 Ha ha! 481 00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:41,222 No, not at all. Not after today. 482 00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:43,514 You're out there with those boys in your condition. 483 00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:47,228 Talk about heart. 484 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:50,606 Take care of yourself, Jack. 485 00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:53,234 I've technically died twice. 486 00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:55,403 It's not fun. 487 00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:57,697 But I'm not gonna be around forever. 488 00:19:57,988 --> 00:19:59,365 And, uh, at some point 489 00:19:59,657 --> 00:20:01,343 I want to spend more time with my grandkids. 490 00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:05,246 Take my boat down to the islands. 491 00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:09,041 Get to know my secret family up in Canada. 492 00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:12,795 But I want you to know you're on my list. 493 00:20:13,087 --> 00:20:14,755 Jack... 494 00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:17,842 You might run this company one day. 495 00:20:18,134 --> 00:20:19,927 Thank you, sir. 496 00:20:29,145 --> 00:20:32,732 You mind if I watch you eat that? 497 00:20:33,023 --> 00:20:34,859 Okay. 498 00:20:42,783 --> 00:20:44,785 ♪ Werewolf Bar Mitzvah ♪ 499 00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:46,537 ♪ spooky scary ♪ 500 00:20:46,829 --> 00:20:48,330 ♪ boys becoming men ♪ 501 00:20:48,622 --> 00:20:50,166 ♪ men becoming wolves ♪ 502 00:20:53,878 --> 00:20:57,465 ♪ ♪ 503 00:20:57,757 --> 00:20:59,341 ♪ werewolf Bar Mitzvah ♪ 504 00:20:59,633 --> 00:21:01,469 ♪ spooky scary ♪ 505 00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:04,972 ♪ ♪ 506 00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:06,390 ♪ boys becoming men ♪ 507 00:21:06,682 --> 00:21:08,726 ♪ men becoming wolves ♪ ♪ 34233

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