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Was a soft legit, never thought to fail
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Not never was a soft legit, spent an eye in jail
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Singing notes for women, it was just a beginning
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You haven't seen anything yet
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Oh, not never was a soft legit
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Today, the Danbury intricate craft circle
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The likely request women's suffrage, that's us
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Is to take inspiration from our dear sister in suffrage
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And his smith pick
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Who at the tender age of 61
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Has just made the summit of Mount Coropuna in Peru
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Where she planted a flag
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And do you know what was on that flag?
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Help! I'm exhausted
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But we'll be doing that again
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Vote for women
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Yes, Emily, well done
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Are we going to climb a mountain margarita?
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In a way, yes, Emily
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We are to trek across the foothills of ignorance
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To ascend the slopes of injustice
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Till we reach the summit of equality
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And you know what we will find on that summit
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A flag with face women on it, you just told death
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No, no, no
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A bowling cream
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Since the dawn of bowls
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No women have been permitted to play or spectate in this country
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So we are to take us down
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For sporting women and for suffrage
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By distributing an uncompromising leaflet
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At the international bowling tournament
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That is to take place here in Bambi
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I know, father is the captain, the chairman
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And the treasurer of the team
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Mummy's at home, Revena's kit
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Margaret, how exciting
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I know
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Today, the Bambi chestnuts take on the New Zealand Rams
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Oh
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Where are they from?
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New Zealand
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Oh, where is that?
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New Zealand
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So I shall take a photograph of you all
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Posing and sporting aperrel
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To include in the leaflet
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Demonstrating that women are just as capable of sporting prowess as men
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But are they there?
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Yes
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How are they?
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Yes
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Are they really
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Eva, is there a specific sport that you think that women just cannot physically do?
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All of them
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Why, for what reason?
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No, because of their
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Yeah
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The flippity ding dongs there, you made me say it
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In my day, we just used to strap down our ding dongs and say
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Good game, a chagrager on the gas works green
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But the thing is, when some people's ding dongs are more
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Erm, oh, how can you put this delicately?
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Are, er, more bigger than yours
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So, are you going to take these photographs without a
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face to
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graphinator?
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You mean a camera, Eva
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Do I?
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Yes
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Let me introduce to you
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My new
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Kodak camera
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Yes
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I'm calling her Alaphhea
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After the Greek goddess of truth
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Hello, I'm Theo
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No, Alaphhea
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Because the camera never lies, do you see Gwen?
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Now, I had to pawn my South American moth collection
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In order to raise funds to buy her
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Particularly sorry to say goodbye to my Venezuelan poodle moth
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Who was the spit of my husband, Osbut
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The native tribes of the Americas believed
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That the camera could steal one's soul
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This one just cost me my moth collection
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Well, let's steal my soul, Margaret
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Because I'm not sure I can do without it
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I might never again know right from wrong
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How does the camera work, then, Margaret?
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Well, the souls are sucked in here
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I couldn't resist
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The light enters here
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Is slowed and refracted by the glass lens
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Creating a perfect reproduction of whatever it sees, isn't it?
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We've taken any pictures yet
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No, no, no, not exactly, but I've been too busy
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digesting this
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The operating manual
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I've read it four times, a particularly fascinating sexual norm
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Refracted light and prismatic focus
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This is so exciting
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I read all about in my lady's courtley's how actresses and maudales
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They use special grease paint and powder to make themselves look beautiful
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They call it their makeup
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Well, no doubt, but we are here to celebrate strength, even not beauty
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Anyway, who here would possess such a thing as grease paint?
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Well, they're says that grease paint is for a common sluts and hoars
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Whatever that means
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A slut, grandma
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Should I get my grease paints and have a little go on Gwen?
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You'd like that, wouldn't you Gwen?
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She'd like that, Margaret
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Gwen, I'm gonna give you what God didn't
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A husband?
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No, a face
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I've got a face
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A better one
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Thank you Eva
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Before you go Gwen, do you think you might fetch my basket of sporting accoutrements?
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I left them in the vestibule
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Well do
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And Emily, will you go in the kitchen and help Thomas with my developing fluids
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And uh, metal, I shall talk you through my camera, it's really quite fascinating
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I was one of Edward Maybridge's early models
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So rare to find a man who was intellect and output were equally large
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Gwen, have you seen my hat?
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Um, I'm not sure
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It's white and made of straw
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Oh yes, with a lovely long feather on it
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No feather, are you quite all right?
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Oh, I can't get this up Frank
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You're not wearing a hat
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I know, I've lost it
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My umpires hat
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And I need it for the tournament
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Oh silly me, are you entering a hat tournament?
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The bowls tournament
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Oh you're bowling
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No, I'm umpiring
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Oh, how exciting
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Yes, I've been longing to ump for at least a decade
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Only one man stood in my way
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Now at last, that ump is no more
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Oh Frank, did you bump the ump off?
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Of course not
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He slipped on an orange pip and the grays went fatally septic
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He was 89
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Oh, too young
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Too
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Oh, is this your hat Frank?
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Yes, thank you Gwen
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Oh good luck Frank
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I'm glad you got the ump
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Oh ah, sporting accoutrements
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I wonder what this is
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Is it a mouse guard?
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Er, no, it is a gentleman's guard
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But it's not for the mouse
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What a funny smell
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I wonder what latte is
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The feck and musk of winter heliabores
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Poking through the mossy forest floor
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So exactly right, however did you know
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Educator guess
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I'm here, I'm here
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I'm Ellen
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Ah, there it is, Lawrence's box
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I've been looking for that everywhere
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Oh, it's a box, what do you put in it?
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Whatever you've got
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Thank you mother
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Does one wear a box for bowls?
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Lawrence is very fastidious about his equipment
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Well I cannot stay, I'm under extreme pressure
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Preparing Lawrence's sporting whites
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For the bowls tournament today
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What manner of futility is happening here?
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Oh, we are hoping to ensure an integral role
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For women in the future of British bowls
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We are creating a leaflet
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Which I am calling
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New women?
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Question mark
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New bowls
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Exclamation mark
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Some of us already have an integral role, Margaret
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For the past 10 years
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Lawrence's whites have drawn collective gossps of amazement
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Indeed, he's often told me that his success in bowls
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Is largely due to the crispness in his slacks
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Do I parade my efforts
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Ostentatiously obeying for praise?
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No, I do not
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I'm content in the knowledge that I'm entirely responsible
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For the stiffness in my husband's trousers
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Goodbye to you
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I have an urgent appointment with the crisping oven
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I like him
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Sort of equipment as Lawrence keeps in his box
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Whatever it is, it's definitely rusty
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So how does the enlarger work exactly Thomas?
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Ah, yes Miss Emily
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It enlargens that which requires enlarging
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Oh, awfully clever
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And what sporting potion you be striking for the pamphlet?
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Oh no, I do not sport
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I am merely assisting Mrs. Unwin in her photographic suffrage endeavors
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Besides which, my ganglions prevent anything more strenuous
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Than they move a chess piece or the flick of a tiddly wing
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Well, I shall pose like this
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Or like this
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I'm sounding
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Perhaps I might have a copy of the photograph
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To set up on my tall boy
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What are you going to do to me Eva?
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Well, what the ladies do in the pictures
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Is they use strong colors to really show off their features
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What are they?
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Look at me Gwyn
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Oh, sorry, should I keep perfectly still?
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No, look at me
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See what I got here are features
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Oh
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Have I got any features Eva?
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Oh yes Gwyn, you have got a lovely personality
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Thank you Eva
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Now, I'm going to start with the lips
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By making them darker
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I can make them seem more less thin
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Well it's sting
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Oh no, no, they're all natural ingredients
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Yes, there's one in the tin
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Oh
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Our Snick for Malder Hyde
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Allium-Minion
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Lead
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Gwyn, I'm going to make you look beautiful
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When I was a girl, Kenneth Hillingdon invited me out for a promenade
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So I begged Mother to allow me a little rouge
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Well she would not relent
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So I dived a spot of ammonia on each cheek
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By the time I met Kenneth my face had puffed up like a red bellied toad
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Well Gwyn how awful
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Oh Kenneth didn't mind
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I love amphibians
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I love these little things
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Very flat lens
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Perjects a large reel image
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But the film is only exposed to the middle part of it
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They, around a lens, produces a smaller reel image
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So the film surface sees a much wider area of the scene
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At a reduced magnification
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It's really quite simple
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Oh Muthore, you look splendid
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Tally Ho!
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Yes goodness
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Den
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I've got features
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Oh yes yes you certainly have
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Who's next?
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And these are the developing fluids
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And emulsions
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And tongs
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If handled incorrectly
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The fluids can corrode one's flesh
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How dreadful
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I should hate to have my flesh corroded
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Quite
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It's not a very dark dark room Thomas
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No I have not yet extinguished the overhead light
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I can do that
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Oh how eerie
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I can barely see a thing
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Are you there Thomas?
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Yes yes here I am
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Are you very frightened?
278
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:41,000
Yes Thomas
279
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,000
Petrified
280
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:44,000
Can you feel?
281
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:46,000
I'm quivering
282
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,000
Oh Miss Emily
283
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:55,000
You've ready to become the photograph Emily?
284
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:58,000
Yes I mean goodness is very dark in here Thomas
285
00:11:58,000 --> 00:11:59,000
Yes Miss I mean it is a dark room
286
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:03,000
Excellent yes you all look
287
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,000
Yes yes oh goodness Gwen
288
00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:09,000
Yes yes quite a quite a fine tableau
289
00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:10,000
So strike a pose
290
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:16,000
Yes you hold up the flash gun Thomas
291
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:16,000
Ready?
292
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:21,000
And nothing's happening
293
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:22,000
Yeah hold the pose ladies
294
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,000
Higher Thomas that's it
295
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:27,000
Probably a perspectival effect
296
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:28,000
So yeah if you'll shuffle that bit
297
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,000
A bit further
298
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:32,000
A bit further
299
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:36,000
Yes that's too far so if you just come forward again
300
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:38,000
It's bit the difference
301
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,000
It's still holding the pose
302
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:41,000
Keep it up Thomas
303
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:43,000
Ready?
304
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:44,000
And
305
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:46,000
No no
306
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:50,000
I see I see
307
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:51,000
And ready?
308
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:54,000
And no no it's not working
309
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,000
No Thomas really faulty
310
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,000
Can we move yet?
311
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:58,000
Yes yes yes yes
312
00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,000
My wrists are failing me Mrs I'm in may I?
313
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:01,000
Yes yes yes yes
314
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:04,000
I'm so sorry everybody water disappoint
315
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:06,000
I just can't think what's wrong with it
316
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:07,000
Thomas would you would you have though?
317
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:10,000
Is that perhaps a speck of dust trapped in the mechanism
318
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:11,000
It would allow me me something
319
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:12,000
Yes yes good thought
320
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,000
Thank you Thomas
321
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:16,000
I wonder if my South American moths are still at the porn brokers
322
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:18,000
Oh no Margaret they're defling away from me now
323
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:22,000
I'm back I'm back
324
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:24,000
Oh hello I thought you were crisping Lawrence's trousers
325
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:27,000
Yes I too thought that I would be that I was
326
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:28,000
So why do you come back?
327
00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:31,000
When I had retrieved Lawrence's box
328
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:34,000
I returned home to find his bowling trousers
329
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:35,000
Standing in the hallway
330
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:37,000
Was he in them?
331
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:39,000
No
332
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:41,000
They were quite alone
333
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:42,000
Having been crisped
334
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:44,000
To within an inch of their life
335
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:46,000
By a professional lawn dress on Nevis Street
336
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:50,000
When I attempted a casual inquiry
337
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:53,000
As to why he had decided to send them out
338
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,000
He replied that for a match of this importance
339
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:58,000
He could not risk his trousers in the hands of an amateur
340
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:03,000
Helen what does Lawrence keep in his box?
341
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:06,000
Very little
342
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,000
Well
343
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:09,000
Well
344
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:12,000
Well ladies
345
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,000
Well
346
00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:15,000
Frank whatever is the matter
347
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:17,000
It's Mr. Unparto you
348
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:19,000
How could you have done it
349
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:21,000
And how did you get back so fast
350
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:24,000
I have tended that bowling ring
351
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:26,000
Loved it like a child
352
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:28,000
Dressed it trimmed it, maneuvered it
353
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:30,000
Should one do that to a child?
354
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:35,000
My beautiful lawn sabotaged
355
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:38,000
Sabotaged words burned into the turf
356
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:39,000
What words Frank?
357
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:44,000
Boles for women in letters three feet big
358
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:45,000
Boles for women
359
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:47,000
Yes at first we thought it had been done
360
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:50,000
By the ladies ornithological society
361
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:53,000
Because the bee in Boles was obscured by a mole hill
362
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:56,000
Oh yes
363
00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:58,000
Oh ladies how could you?
364
00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:00,000
Oh Frank you don't think what you did do you?
365
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,000
Well didn't you?
366
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,000
Now of course not Frank
367
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:05,000
It must have been the bambry free suffragette army
368
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:08,000
Oh no not them again
369
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:10,000
Of course oh
370
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:12,000
Mrs. Umman I'm so sorry
371
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:15,000
Yes how could you think Margaret capable of leading such an action?
372
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:16,000
Oh well
373
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:17,000
Thank you for defending me Helen
374
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:19,000
No I wasn't you're not capable
375
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:23,000
The BFSA is so wonderfully bad aren't they?
376
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:24,000
Indeed they are
377
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:27,000
So very naughty
378
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:29,000
Yes
379
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:31,000
Miss Bute there is nothing wonderful
380
00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:34,000
About the bambry bowling green being closed
381
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:35,000
Until further notice
382
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,000
Oh no
383
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,000
Well we're all out live
384
00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:40,000
Oh dear
385
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:43,000
Poor Lawrence won't get to play bowls
386
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:45,000
In his troublesome trousers after all
387
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,000
Such a pity
388
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:47,000
Was he very irritated?
389
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:50,000
Yes he was most irate Mrs. Bute
390
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,000
Which is why I suggested we hold the tournament
391
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:53,000
Here instead
392
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:54,000
In the church hall
393
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:57,000
So we will get to see the men playing after all
394
00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,000
Certainly not
395
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:03,000
Your presence would break every rule in the bowls rule book
396
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:07,000
Well not every rule just the one about women not being allowed on the green
397
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,000
If you're seen on the green
398
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:12,000
I would never be allowed to ump in bambry again
399
00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:15,000
So please ladies
400
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:16,000
They cake the premises
401
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:17,000
Fair enough
402
00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:19,000
Absolutely not
403
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:21,000
We have booked this hall and we shall not be moved
404
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,000
Can I not even persuade you into the kitchen
405
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:25,000
No
406
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:26,000
No not sir
407
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:27,000
Kitchen
408
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:29,000
I have a fresh batch of scones in the oven
409
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:31,000
Oh with German crease
410
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:34,000
Shimmy jam
411
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:35,000
Yes and oh
412
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:41,000
I should like to make it clear that I'm only going into the kitchen to take tea
413
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:45,000
And I shall re-enter the hall if I see fit as and when it suits me
414
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:47,000
Oh Helen
415
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:49,000
It's so good to have you on our side
416
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:51,000
And not on your side I'm doing this to annoying Lawrence
417
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:52,000
Yes
418
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,000
Thomas
419
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:57,000
I must fetch some bays
420
00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:59,000
You make sure the ladies stay contained
421
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:00,000
Me but what how
422
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:08,000
That's how
423
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,000
Oh Frank
424
00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:14,000
No Frank I shall not sanction this the incarceration of my fellow suffragettes
425
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,000
For goodness sake you're not a suffragette you're a man
426
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:18,000
Technically yes
427
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:21,000
But first and foremost I am a suffragette I shall play no part in this
428
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:24,000
I'll just take the key with me then
429
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,000
Oh for all Thomas right
430
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:30,000
Not it
431
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:30,000
Oh gracious
432
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:32,000
Which jam Margaret
433
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,000
Plum jam
434
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:35,000
Ladies
435
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:36,000
Fair not
436
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:38,000
I shall endeavor to liberate you
437
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:39,000
Send back from the door
438
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:45,000
Girls
439
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,000
I
440
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:03,000
Here!
441
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:06,000
Whoa, sorry, little fella.
442
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:07,000
I'm going to meet a skier.
443
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:10,000
That's a different way of squaring up to the opponents.
444
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:14,000
It's a very serious, mouldy ritual that we take very seriously.
445
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:16,000
Ah! Afternoon, ladies.
446
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:19,000
Hey, I think we frightened the jibis is out of everyone.
447
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,000
I cannot apologize enough.
448
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:24,000
How's it going in there? We are the New Zealand Rams.
449
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,000
Real arming, we see.
450
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:29,000
What's New Zealand thing? We call it the haka.
451
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:31,000
I'm Hillary, and this bloke is Leslie.
452
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:33,000
Hello, Leslie.
453
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:35,000
Oh, please. Hills and lids.
454
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:36,000
Liz?
455
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:38,000
No. Liz.
456
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:40,000
Because Liz is a girl's name, right?
457
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:42,000
Yes, indeed.
458
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:44,000
Do you think you might help us somewhere rather locked in?
459
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:46,000
Oh, yeah. Can do. Stand back.
460
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:49,000
No, no, no. I think you'll find that to be in...
461
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,000
Possibly.
462
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:53,000
Thank you.
463
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,000
Hey, they don't call us the Rams for nothing.
464
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:57,000
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
465
00:18:57,000 --> 00:19:00,000
Hey, how are you going to play an international bowling tournament
466
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:02,000
if you're all locked in the kitchen?
467
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,000
Oh, no, us!
468
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:07,000
Oh, no, we're not the Madam of your chestnuts.
469
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:09,000
Oh, what a funny thought. No.
470
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:11,000
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. That is amusing.
471
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:12,000
Well, is that funny?
472
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,000
Well, women are not permitted to play bowls.
473
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:17,000
Get off the grass.
474
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:20,000
English woman aren't allowed to play bowls at all.
475
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:21,000
Says who?
476
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:22,000
It's the real world's...
477
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:23,000
Not New Zealand.
478
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,000
Yeah, women can pretty much do whatever sport they like.
479
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:26,000
They're bowls.
480
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:27,000
Cricket.
481
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,000
Rugby.
482
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,000
And New Zealand, everyone mucks in.
483
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:33,000
That's why women have had the votes since 1883.
484
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:35,000
Really?
485
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:37,000
Really?
486
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:39,000
I had no idea.
487
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:42,000
Gosh, so every woman in New Zealand can vote.
488
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:46,000
Well, the poor old Māori girls, they're to wait until 1893.
489
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:47,000
But who could forget?
490
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:50,000
Mary Mānga, he is moving appeal to parliament.
491
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:55,000
I fakamawiti a'tu ana aa kina hanore nima in nōhane.
492
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:58,000
Kia ora katō katōa.
493
00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:01,000
It's very moving.
494
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,000
Well, that's just the introduction.
495
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:08,000
Basically, it just means guys stop mucking around and give us the full lemon vote.
496
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:11,000
Oh, pardon, Māori.
497
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:16,000
How inspiring that you have granted women equal status in your visionary new world.
498
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:17,000
Indeed it is.
499
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:20,000
Now, go make us a cup of tea.
500
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,000
He's kidding.
501
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:24,000
I'm kidding.
502
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:27,000
I'd really like a cup of tea, though.
503
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:29,000
Could I make it, Māori? Yes.
504
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:30,000
Yes.
505
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:32,000
You've butte.
506
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:34,000
Oh, no. Meag when?
507
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:37,000
So will you join us? Take tea with us?
508
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:39,000
This way.
509
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,000
Who hills?
510
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:45,000
I never thought in my lifetime that I should meet men who would truly, I'm reservedly,
511
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:47,000
respect us as equals.
512
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:50,000
Me? I respect women. You have me.
513
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:53,000
We are, in fact, a suffrage group.
514
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:54,000
Right?
515
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:59,000
Yes. Hoping to create a leaflet celebrating women's sporting prowess, but alas,
516
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:01,000
our camera seems to have broken.
517
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:03,000
This is a nice piece.
518
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,000
Hey, I'm a keen snapper myself.
519
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:07,000
Yes, I think it might be the adjustable meniscus.
520
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:08,000
I could find no fault.
521
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,000
I thought perhaps I might take it apart and then put it back together again.
522
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:12,000
Yeah? Well, you could take it back.
523
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:15,000
Yes, I might take it apart and then put it back together again.
524
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:18,000
Yeah? Well, you could take the lens cap off.
525
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,000
Oh, yes.
526
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:21,000
Tea up.
527
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:25,000
I don't know about you, hills, but personally, I don't feel comfortable playing a bowl's tournament
528
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:28,000
in a society that's so undervalued, it's woman folk.
529
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:30,000
Normie, mate. Normie.
530
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:32,000
Hey, why don't you join our team as substitutes?
531
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,000
Then at least you can watch the tournament.
532
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:37,000
Well, I admire your native wit.
533
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:39,000
This is the time.
534
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:43,000
The process to join the van Brie Chestnuts consists of a three-part examination
535
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:45,000
to be placed on a waiting list, to be placed on a short list,
536
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:49,000
to be ratified by a subcommittee, all of which takes approximately three years.
537
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:54,000
Well, it's an equally draconian system to become a New Zealand ram, I'm afraid.
538
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,000
Hold up your right hands.
539
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:59,000
Wave at each other and repeat after me.
540
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:02,000
Hi. I'm a New Zealand ram.
541
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:06,000
Hi. I'm a New Zealand ram.
542
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:09,000
Yeah, that's it.
543
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,000
Kia kaha, girls.
544
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:13,000
Welcome to the Rams.
545
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:32,000
Prag.
546
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:34,000
There's women on the face.
547
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:38,000
Yes, I'm sorry. Good lord, is that my wife?
548
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:39,000
And Emily.
549
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:42,000
Helen knows the rules. It's not like her to bend.
550
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:45,000
Technically, Mr. Butte, it's above board.
551
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:48,000
They've been inducted into the New Zealand Rams.
552
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:50,000
Oh, well, God, entirely mad.
553
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:54,000
I don't know. Just the world of the Bambry Bowels tournament.
554
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:59,000
Most out of character, Helen seemed perfectly equitable when I saw her earlier.
555
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:03,000
So I shouldn't have had these bags professionally laundered.
556
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:07,000
It has rendered them a trifle chafy around the box.
557
00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:09,000
Look at Lawrence.
558
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:11,000
I hope his trousers snap.
559
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:14,000
We're ready to begin.
560
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:17,000
Will the skippers please step up to the ring?
561
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:20,000
Our tails.
562
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:22,000
Oh, what are they doing?
563
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:24,000
I'm tossing to see who Jack's off first.
564
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:29,000
Rams to bowl first.
565
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:36,000
This is thrilling.
566
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:41,000
I know it's utterly, utterly incredible and exciting that we're the first English women ever
567
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:45,000
to witness the drama and elation of an international Bowels tournament.
568
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:48,000
Oh!
569
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:53,000
Oh, Josh.
570
00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:54,000
Oh, yes.
571
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:55,000
Yes.
572
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:06,000
Trahouses.
573
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:18,000
APPLAUSE
574
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:20,000
APPLAUSE
575
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:32,000
Oh, my God, it's perfect.
576
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,000
Oh, my God, it's all down.
577
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:38,000
Yes, what a fascinating game, Frank. Who won?
578
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:39,000
Half-time.
579
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:45,000
Of course they have.
580
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:47,000
I say, cream tea.
581
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:51,000
Yeah, maybe it's not such a bad thing, having you gals along after all.
582
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:52,000
Oh.
583
00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:57,000
Oh, good on you, Gwen.
584
00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:58,000
These sandwiches are grilled.
585
00:24:58,000 --> 00:24:59,000
Frel?
586
00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:00,000
Oh, the grill.
587
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:03,000
I'm sorry we're not putting on a better show for you.
588
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:05,000
It's taken us six weeks to get here.
589
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:09,000
We're just used to hundreds of Rams fans cheering us on back home.
590
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:12,000
Yeah, it's the passion of their followers that really keeps their spirits up.
591
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:14,000
Without that, we're up the boomer.
592
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,000
We know you're doing your best to support our efforts.
593
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,000
If it's yes, yes, we'll support our efforts.
594
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,000
Gentlemen, resume play.
595
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,000
Rams and remits? Let's get amongst them.
596
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:23,000
Yes, yes.
597
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:25,000
I really should help Gwen with the samples.
598
00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:27,000
I too must do something.
599
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:28,000
Yes, I will.
600
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:30,000
Oh, fair enough.
601
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:31,000
See you out there.
602
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:33,000
Yes, yes, yes.
603
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:36,000
Dolls is not as invigorating as I had expected.
604
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:38,000
Please don't make us go back and watch.
605
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:41,000
I think I should die from dullness.
606
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:43,000
We do feel though.
607
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:46,000
We should do something to bolster hills and lizards.
608
00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:47,000
They have bolstered us.
609
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:48,000
What?
610
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:52,000
Ladies, I think I have a plan.
611
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:56,000
Gentlemen, Bambi are nearest the Jack.
612
00:25:56,000 --> 00:26:00,000
Rams, your final bowl of the tournament, please.
613
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:15,000
Paying them back in game?
614
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:18,000
Jane, give them back.
615
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:21,000
umbles of ugly p BlOE SCARönTomnny Goodun'
616
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:26,000
Gwen andlip Le
617
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:28,000
witic Winner
618
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:30,000
That's outstanding!
619
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:32,000
Team Lemon Riffing!
620
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:34,000
Ha ha!
621
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:36,000
That's the bite.
622
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:37,000
Please, please, please.
623
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:38,000
Don't miss.
624
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:39,000
This is for you.
625
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:41,000
This is for you.
626
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:42,000
Mmm.
627
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:48,000
The Rams have it!
628
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:50,000
CHEERING
629
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:53,000
CHEERING
630
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:07,000
I still can't hardly believe we're Rams.
631
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:09,000
Yes, just think.
632
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:11,000
In merely six weeks' time, our dear friends will be
633
00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:12,000
arriving back in New Zealand.
634
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:15,000
Seventeen million miles away.
635
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:18,000
Lemon was Mr. Butte terribly vexed
636
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:20,000
that the Bambry Chestnut's lost.
637
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:22,000
He was a tad deflated.
638
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:25,000
But he has vowed never to visit a professional
639
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:26,000
laundress again.
640
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:30,000
Suffice to say his trousers are now firmly back in my grasp.
641
00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:34,000
Well, five whole pages covering the bowl's tournament
642
00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:37,000
and not one mention of the umpire me.
643
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:39,000
Oh, never mind, Frank.
644
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:41,000
They're not even mentioning your hat.
645
00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:43,000
No, but look.
646
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:46,000
Great suffragettes terrorise tournament.
647
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:49,000
Oh, the Bambry Free Suffragette Army
648
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:52,000
have stolen your thunder again.
649
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:55,000
No, they're talking about you, ladies.
650
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:57,000
You're the crazed suffragettes.
651
00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:59,000
Oh, no!
652
00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:01,000
Ladies, you have proved the townsfolk
653
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:03,000
and the people of Britain that women can
654
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:05,000
and shall do what men can do and more.
655
00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:06,000
The candy, there?
656
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:07,000
Yes.
657
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:09,000
Well, now you're all honorary members
658
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:11,000
of an international team.
659
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:14,000
I expect I'll see you next week at the bowl's match.
660
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:15,000
The pitch is fixed.
661
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:16,000
Oh, no, Frank.
662
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:18,000
I'm afraid I'm rather busy returning my camera.
663
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:21,000
I'm actually to be reacquainted with my South American moths.
664
00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:22,000
I'm busy indefinitely.
665
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:25,000
Yes, I'm definitely busy too, definitely busy.
666
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:26,000
I'm busy.
667
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:27,000
Crisping.
668
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:29,000
I should rather die, Frank.
669
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:31,000
I'll come, Frank.
670
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:33,000
I'll strap the flow of diddings dongs down.
671
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:35,000
Oh, good-oh.
672
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:36,000
Ellen.
673
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:39,000
What does Lawrence keep in his box?
674
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:40,000
His p-
675
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:42,000
I know the self-regard
676
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:44,000
never thought to fail.
677
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:47,000
I know it's a soft-regard
678
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:49,000
Spent an odd-in-jet
679
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:51,000
Singing notes for women
680
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:54,000
It's just a beginning
681
00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:58,000
You haven't seen anything yet
682
00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:02,000
Oh, I know it's a soft-regard
44631
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