Original subtitles

♪♪

♪ Love ♪

♪ exciting and new ♪

♪ come aboard ♪

♪ we're expecting you ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ life's sweetest reward ♪

♪ let it flow ♪

♪ it floats back to you ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ soon will be making another run ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ promises something for everyone ♪

♪ set a course for adventure ♪

♪ your mind on a new romance ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ won't hurt anymore ♪

♪ it's an open smile ♪

♪ on a friendly shore ♪

♪ it's love ♪

♪ welcome aboard, it's l-o-o-o-ove ♪

♪♪

Attention, all ship's personnel.

The motion picture company

is now loading their equipment onboard.

Please be helpful and assist them in any way you can.

Thank you.

♪♪

♪ Hooray for Hollywood, doo doo doo doo doo ♪

♪ Holly-- ♪

Okay, get that junk out of here. We haven't got all night.

Can you believe it?

A Hollywood movie company

is actually gonna film a musical on the ship.

No big deal.

No big deal?

Glamorous movie stars and a midnight sailing?

We've sailed at midnight before.

May I have a word with you, please?

-Sure. -Yes, sir.

Regarding the movie being made,

our ship is the star, the focal point,

but the line has given the producer permission

to use crew members to play themselves in the background.

-What? -Oh, that's fantastic!

All right, all right.

I advise you all to give your full cooperation.

-Oh, great! -Oh!

Sir, excuse me? We're gonna be in the film?

Yes, in the background.

Whoo!

That's terrific. Then we're all gonna be in the picture.

Way in the background.

Just think, we'll be able to go to a movie theater

and see our faces on the big screen.

♪ I can't believe it ♪

♪ hard to conceive it ♪

♪ but we're gonna be in the movies ♪

♪ hey, mom, that hero ain't Robert De Niro ♪

♪ it's your baby, me ♪

♪ in the movies ♪

♪ so call for Burt Reynolds and Walter matthau ♪

♪ the crew of the love boat is making its bow ♪

♪ and who needs George c. Scott 'cause I've got what he's got ♪

♪ he's maybe a little outclassed ♪

♪ 'cause we're gonna be in the movies ♪

♪ at last ♪

♪♪

Pacific Princess passengers may now board.

We promise you a very special cruise.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Stay close.

Arnold, I want you to you to check

and double-check all the equipment.

I'll need a staff meeting at 7:00 A.M., sharp.

Sharp, that is! Perfect.

[ Laughs ] Perfect!

Perfect, ha-ha-ha-ha, perfect!

May I say what a pleasure it is to meet Bennett barton

in person? -Thank you.

Mr. Barton, sir, I have seen every picture

that you have ever directed and starred in.

-Is that right? -Really.

Thank you.

Um, Arnold herlick, my assistant.

With this ship as the set,

"dreamboat's" gonna be a fantastic musical hit.

Could you tell us what it's about?

Well, uh, if I can't, who can?

It's a story of a glamorous movie star

who inherits a luxury liner on the verge of bankruptcy.

Now, to help her out,

some show business friends stage a musical onboard!

It's a hit.

The ship is saved, and there you are.

-I love it. -Of course you do.

Sir, in my opinion, that is all the makings

of a surefire smash.

We have an incredible cast -- Johnny lovett, the rock star,

the one and only Faye marsh...

-Faye marsh! -Yes.

And, of course, yours truly.

Bennett barton.

They know who I am.

All right, sir. I'll take care of that.

Thank you, Julie.

[ Telephone rings ]

Jack.

It's Jack chenault.

Jack chenault? That name sounds familiar.

It's certainly familiar to Julie.

She almost married him.

Jack! Jack!

Oh, Jack.

It's so good to see you.

Well, it's, uh, it's good to see you, too.

Oh.

I'm, uh, I'm --

I'm probably a fool to tell you this,

but I'm not Jack.

Huh?

You see, I'm Marty chenault, Jack's brother.

Well, i-I'm sorry.

Oh, but it's -- it's all right.

But you look just like Jack.

No, no. Jack looks like me.

I'm the older one, you see, so I looked this way first.

Uh, most people think we're the only twins in the world

born 2 years apart.

Well, this is very embarrassing.

Naturally, you have no idea who I am.

Well, as a matter of fact, I feel I know you very well.

Jack showed me every picture he ever made of you.

You're Julie.

Jack described you then as that, uh, let's see, that,

uh, incredibly wonderful girl he was going to marry.

Is he still living in Alaska?

Yes.

And, yes, he's still married.

That's good.

Jack deserves happiness.

This is very embarrassing for me.

I'm sorry that I ran up and kissed you like that.

Oh, it's -- it's okay.

Just make sure it doesn't happen again.

My, uh, lips chap easily.

Well, I'll keep a close check on myself.

Is this your first cruise?

Yes, but I'm not here for the cruise.

I'm the producer of this move we're filming on the ship.

You are?

Mm-hmm.

You know, Julie, you said Jack deserves happiness.

Maybe his brother does, too.

Marty: I hope I see you again.

What?

Listen, has shelley rush boarded yet?

Rush...why does that name sound familiar?

Because you saw her sing last week at that little club.

Last week?

Remember, amateur night, Monday night?

Come on! -Oh, yeah, yeah!

Yeah. She was good. She was pretty good.

Good? She was great!

She's loaded with talent,

and she's gonna be in the movie.

-Really? -Mm-hmm.

I didn't know that.

Yeah, neither does the producer,

but it's only a matter of time before I get her discovered.

Ah, so you've kind of,

like, discovered her yourself already then?

Mm, well, I will admit I did go back to the club

another night to see if she was as talented

as I thought she...

-Mm, talented, huh? -Yoo-hoo! Isaac!

Shelley! How you doing? It's good to see you.

Isaac, you were right.

This girl has star written all over her.

Well, you know what they say -- it pays to advertise.

Yeah, who's gonna argue with a billboard like that?

Uh, shell, you remember my friend gopher.

Oh, hi, gopher. Ooh, I --

I am so excited to be here.

I -- I would have tap danced all the way from acapulco

to get a part in this movie.

You know, I bet I could get you into "dreamboat."

You can?

-Sure! I mean -- -wait, wait, wait.

Hold on, amigo. Listen, it's all right.

I don't need any help on this one.

You see, Bennett barton and I are old friends.

Used to hang out in a bar where I worked.

He and I are just like this.

-Really? -Mm-hmm.

There he is.

Watch this.

Hey, Bennett!

Good to see you again! Isaac Washington!

It's good to see you.

So how you been, Ivan?

-Isaac. -Isaac.

Look, let me get a little settled

and I'll be more than glad to give you my autograph later.

I thought you said you and Bennett barton were like that.

Maybe it was a little more like this.

Shell, you know what you need?

You need an agent.

You need a personal manager.

You need a guy who can make a deal,

take a meeting, call a ghost.

Well, w-where am I gonna find somebody like that?

You're looking at him, babe. Hold my calls.

-Sir! -Yes?

-Guess what doctor's told me? -What?

He told me that Johnny lovett is gonna be on the cruise.

He's gonna be in the movie!

Mm.

Johnny lovett, my most favorite singer in the world!

Oh, yeah.

-Oh, I'm so nervous. -Now, honey.

There's nothing to be nervous about.

Just think of him as another human being.

Okay.

Another human being.

Look -- look, mom. I don't think I can do this.

Oh, calm down, Johnny. It's only a movie.

But it's my first movie.

I'm a singer, not an actor. And -- and on top of that,

they expect me to act alongside a big star like Faye marsh?

Now, Faye can be a problem, I know.

But I'm here to help you.

Yeah, well, I'm gonna need all the help I can get.

Feel like I'm jumping out of my skin.

Oh, you're Johnny lovett!

Well, you're just another human being.

I mean -- I mean,

you're the greatest human being in the world.

You know, I have every one of your records, Johnny.

-Yeah, can I get by? -Johnny?

Look, mom, I don't have any time to deal with this.

I got to get to my cabin, away from these groupies.

Vicki, was that Johnny lovett?

That jerk?

Who cares?

Captain, I'm Angela lovett.

Well, hello. I'm merrill stubing.

Well, I want to apologize for my son's behavior.

He was very rude to that young lady.

That young lady is my daughter, Vicki.

Oh.

And -- and I apologize if she was bothering him.

It, uh, she's at that stage, you know?

Only too well.

Teenagers.

They can be difficult to raise, especially for a single parent.

I know. I'm a single parent, too.

Oh.

Look, if there's, um, anything I can do

to make it up to Vicki...

Well, I'm sure an autographed picture of Johnny would do it.

Well, consider it done.

May I show you to your cabin?

Perhaps we can discuss your joining me for dinner

some evening.

Yes, to both suggestions.

Oh, by the way, Marty, uh,

the flowers and the champagne are in Faye's cabin.

-Mm-hmm. -Don't worry.

Good. Good, good, good.

I took care of the imported water and fresh fruit,

the scented towels... Hey, did you arrange for that --

that what is it, the 100-year-old French Brandy

that her latest friend likes?

-Of course I did. -Oh, good.

And now, look. We got to be nice to this guy Don Cooper

so he'll be nice to her that way she'll be nice to us.

All right?

You just relax.

I'll relax when I see Don Cooper.

You know, without a boyfriend around,

Faye is impossible to deal with.

Faye, dearest!

Faye!

Marty, darling!

Oh, how wonderful you look.

Oh, thank you.

And Bennett!

-Oh, so good to see you. -Thank you.

You know, I have done nothing but think about this picture?

I am dying to get started...

-Oh, she really is gorgeous. -Practiced every day...

She's even more beautiful and glamorous in person

than she in on screen.

I can't begin to tell you how thrilled I am.

I love it -- the script, the music, the costumes,

everything! -Yes, it's beautiful.

I have a message here from a Don Cooper.

-Uh, Don Cooper? -Don Cooper.

-Here, I'll read it. -I already read it.

He's not coming. -Don's not coming?

-Mnh-mnh. -That's all I needed,

with the lousy script and miserable songs

that you've given me in this -- this Turkey.

-Faye! Faye! -Darling, darling...

[ Indistinct conversations ]

[ Foghorn blows ]

♪♪

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.

I'm sure you know that a major motion picture

will be filmed aboard our ship.

There'll be a daily filming schedule

posted in the purser's lobby, so have fun.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. $3,000...

You're right. He is like Jack's twin.

It's a very strange feeling to meet someone

who looks almost exactly like the man

you were very much in love with.

I bet it is.

I'm not sure it's a feeling I want to deal with.

You'll obviously have to sooner or later.

When?

Well, it's your dance and it's ladies' choice.

So long, Julie.

65%...

Julie! Julie.

I'm going over some production details with Bennett right now

but, uh, can you and I meet for coffee later?

Oh, gee, Marty.

I'd really love to, but, you see,

my job keeps me pretty busy and I really don't have

much time for a life of my own on the ship.

But we'll probably see each other again...Sometime.

♪♪

Well, what happened? You, uh, you strike out?

You know, I think she's turning me down

because I look like my brother Jack.

Oh, Marty, don't be so hard on yourself.

I'm sure she turned you down because you look like you.

Hello, Faye.

Angela!

Oh, how nice to see you.

Well, what are you doing here?

My son is in the movie with you.

Well, Faye, you look wonderful, as ever.

Oh, thank you, darling, so do you.

You know, I do so admire a woman

who doesn't try to hide her age.

How could I?

You've taken all the good hiding places.

After all these years, you still hate me, don't you?

Why should I hate you?

Oh, come now. I do detest scenes.

You've hated me since the old days

when the studio fired you

and I got the lead in "melody Lane."

You know perfectly well I wasn't fired.

I left that picture to get married.

Oh, well, it doesn't really matter, does it?

I mean, you know what they say --

cream always rises to the top.

Yes, dear. So does hot air.

♪♪

We've got a production meeting at 4:30, a rehearsal at 5:00...

And a nervous breakdown at 6:30.

Don't you let that Faye get under your skin like this.

I'll tell you something, Bennett.

I -- Faye, my love! Well, well.

What can we do for our favorite star?

You can start off by getting me a new script, a new wardrobe,

and a cabin that's larger than a shoe box.

Faye, you already have the best cabin, darling.

You -- I don't even know what we're doing here.

I mean, you can't shoot a movie on a boat.

Ship.

You can't shoot a movie on a ship, either.

Well, maybe you're right, Faye. Maybe you're right.

I -- I...

Maybe a ship is just too confining for a big musical.

No! No way.

Look, Faye.

We'll shoot the finale in the studio,

but, Marty, the ship is perfect for the rest.

Look, I've checked it out from top to bottom.

I tell you, this ship is perfect.

Wish you didn't sound so unsure.

Look, Marty.

I know what it takes to make a great musical.

♪ All it takes is genius ♪

♪ all it takes is genius ♪

♪ just a certain flair ♪

♪ just a little savoir-faire ♪

♪ all it takes is genius ♪

♪ all it takes is genius ♪

♪ no, there isn't any mystery ♪

♪ and I say this in all modesty ♪

♪ that it doesn't take a genius to see ♪

♪ all it takes is me ♪

♪ let me run over the "dreamboat" plot ♪

♪ I'll show you how dramatically ♪

♪ and very cinematically a musical plot should be shot ♪

♪ a ex-showgirl name of Faye gets a telegram one day ♪

♪ her uncle dies, bequeathing her a ship ♪

♪ the ship is quite a wreck ♪

♪ but Faye says, "what the heck, I could make it look like new ♪

♪ 'bout a million bucks'll do" ♪

♪ but she hasn't got a million ♪

♪ or a thousand or a hundred ♪

♪ but she has about $1.92 ♪

♪ but her friends from the chorus say ♪

♪ "you've got to do this for us" ♪

♪ and they give her their life's savings ♪

♪ to invest ♪

♪ but the dough isn't quite enough ♪

♪ but Faye is pretty tough ♪

♪ she doesn't moan, she doesn't groan ♪

♪ she gets the banker on the phone ♪

♪ hops a ship to get the loan for the rest ♪

♪ a showgirl, a ship ♪

♪ a banker with the dough ♪

♪ a heroine, a villain ♪

♪ and away we go ♪

♪ we finally got the makings of a show ♪

Look, Marty.

Picture this.

Close your eyes. Close -- close your eyes.

There, now -- picture the dining room,

and there's Faye with four, five, no, no, six dancers.

-Six dancers? -Ten dancers!

Ten dancers! That'll cost a fortune.

[ Laughs ] You'll love it.

♪ All it takes is genius ♪

♪ all it takes is genius ♪

Five, six, seven, eight.

♪♪

What do you think? -Well...

Now, picture this...

Five, six, seven, eight.

♪♪

I bet you never did consider the passageway, did you?

It won't work.

So...

♪ Faye is a success ♪

♪ no, she isn't, it's a mess ♪

♪ though she hires a crew and advertises cruises ♪

♪ you see, the passengers don't come ♪

♪ and things are pretty glum ♪

♪ and the banker counts the days until she loses ♪

♪ so to get her place some zip ♪

♪ Faye performs a semi-strip ♪

♪ from the times she was a chorus girl and so on ♪

♪ and a director, played by me, vacationing at sea ♪

♪ sees the act and says, "why don't you put a show on?" ♪

♪ a showgirl, a ship ♪

♪ a villain, a strip ♪

♪ a director on a trip gives the showgirl a tip ♪

♪ now we are starting to rip ♪

Oh!

Marty, look at this way.

One, two, three, four.

♪♪

Aw, that's so nasty.

Now...

♪ For a show, you need a cast ♪

♪ and Faye needs one pretty fast ♪

♪ the director says, "why don't we use the crew?" ♪

♪ Faye replies, "that's just the thing" ♪

♪ "does anyone here sing?" ♪

♪ and a cabin boy named Johnny says, "I do!" ♪

♪ the future's bright ♪

♪ the end's in sight ♪

♪ it's opening night and everything will be all right ♪

Right?

Wrong.

♪ The banker's on his toes ♪

♪ he threatens to foreclose ♪

♪ they've got to have a hit ♪

♪ it's do or die ♪

♪ they're about to go on the suwanee ♪

♪ when they find out something's funny ♪

♪ that the cabin boy named Johnny ♪

♪ is the banker's long-lost Sonny ♪

♪ looks like Johnny's not a singer ♪

♪ he's a spy ♪

♪ ah, but Johnny's hopping mad ♪

♪ he said, "I ran away from dad, ♪

♪ I just got to sing to prove I am a star" ♪

♪ he says, "I ain't gonna quit" ♪

♪ so they let him do his bit ♪

♪ and the show becomes a hit, and there you are ♪

♪ the showgirl saves the ship with the show ♪

♪ the banker gets his son back, gives Faye back all her dough ♪

♪ the director shows his art ♪

♪ little Johnny gets a start ♪

♪ it's got magic, it's got music ♪

♪ it's got hokum, it's got heart ♪

♪ it's got genius ♪

♪ all it takes is genius ♪

♪ got to have pizzazz ♪

♪ all the kind yours truly has ♪

♪ more than just the teeniest little bit of genius ♪

♪ don't speak to me of Spielberg, bah ♪

♪ or Lucas or coppola ♪

♪ it doesn't take a genius to see ♪

♪ all it takes is ♪

Ah!

♪♪

♪ all it takes is moi ♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

[ Knock on door ]

Come in.

Vicki...

I have something that might cheer you up.

Johnny wants you to have this.

Great, his picture.

Maybe I can shred it up and use it confetti on our next sailing.

I know you're upset because he was rude to you last night.

Dad, it doesn't matter.

Judging by your behavior, I think it does.

Honey, his mother told me that this is the first time

he's acted in a movie

and he's very nervous about that.

You can understand that, can't you?

I don't know. I guess so.

Now, I bet if you gave him another chance,

you'd find out he's a very nice young man.

I know his mother's a nice woman.

Dad, are you doing this because Johnny's such a nice young man

or because his mother's such a nice woman?

Well...

A little of both.

[ Chuckles lightly ]

♪♪

[ Indistinct conversations ]

I refuse to wear this dress in the movie.

This dress is ghastly.

Isn't this dress ghastly?

You're absolutely right, Ms. Marsh.

This dress is ghastly.

Faye, that dress is perfect for you.

Gee, on the other hand, you know, ghastly is in this year.

Faye, why don't you get some sleep?

We start shooting tomorrow.

Besides, you loved that dress just last week.

Well, maybe you're right.

This is the perfect dress for a ship.

Use it to swab the deck.

You know why she's dumping on us like this, don't you?

It's because her boyfriend dumped her.

We'd better find her a new boyfriend, and quick.

Wait! We're at sea.

Why don't we fix her up with a shark?

Shut up, Arnold.

Shut up, Arnold.

You remember the last picture?

I'm going a little crazy with this.

You got to keep your cool, Bennett.

Keep my cool?

How much longer do I have to put up with this woman?

-You don't have to put up... -Ex -- excuse me?

Could I ask you guys a small favor?

Well, what is it, doc?

We're kind of in the middle of discussing

a little problem right now.

Well, when -- when you get a spare minute would you

introduce me to Faye marsh?

You have to understand that Faye is very, very dear to us.

-Very dear. -Oh, sure.

And we kind of hate to --

hate to bother her when her schedule is so busy.

Mm-hmm.

Bennett, what -- what do you think?

Oh, Marty, I mean --

I mean, it is the doc.

-Well... -Mm, yes.

Maybe we could see what we could do.

I appreciate that.

Now, about the script...

-Oh, Faye! -Faye, Faye...

This -- this -- this is Dr. Adam bricker.

He's a terrific guy in a wonderful position.

He's just dying to meet you.

Oh, hello, doctor. It's a pleasure.

Oh, the pleasure's all mine, Ms. Marsh.

I've never missed one of your pictures.

Oh, you haven't?

Not a one.

I think you're the screen's most glamorous woman,

even more glamorous in person,

if you don't mind my saying so.

Oh, I don't mind at all.

I know you're very busy,

but I was wondering if you might have some free time

tomorrow, maybe we could get together for a drink?

I have some free time right now.

Now?

Now is even better.

You know, uh, I think the doctor

is just what the doctor ordered.

♪♪

Ladies and gentlemen, the movie "dreamboat"

will begin shooting today.

Those of you who wish to volunteer as extras

in the background are welcome.

Who knows, at the next academy awards,

one of our passengers may win an Oscar

for best passenger in the background.

Have fun.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

All right, everybody.

Today is the first day of shooting.

We've got a great show, a great cast,

and from what I hear,

a great, great director.

[ Laughs forcefully ]

All right, Johnny, look.

We're gonna start with your scene, uh, scene 32.

That's where you're trying to get a part in the show.

-Right. -Okay.

All right. Places, everybody.

Roll 'em.

Take your time.

Action.

I know I'm just a cabin boy,

but tell her I can sing, I can dance,

I can be in her show,

and I can help her save her ship.

Uh, cut, cut, cut. Uh, relax.

That's nice, Johnny. That's very nice.

But remember you -- you -- you're begging for this part.

I mean, you want this part in the show.

It means everything to you.

You got to act like you really want the part.

I thought I was acting like I really wanted it.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay, well, act like you want it just

a little bit more, all right?

-Okay. -Okay.

Okay, uh, Arnold?

Quiet on the set, please.

Ready when you are, bb.

Bennett: All right. Roll 'em.

All right, Johnny. Want it.

Action.

I know I'm just a cabin boy,

but tell her I can dance, I mean, I can sing,

uh, I can't do it, guys.

Dang it. -It's all right.

It's all right.

No, take a break, everybody. Take five.

All right, take five.

That's five, not seven, not eight, not nine, but five.

Excuse me, Johnny. Uh, Bennett, let me talk to you.

Oh.

Johnny!

Thanks for the picture you gave me.

Can't you see that I'm busy?

Why do you keep bugging me?

Don't worry. It won't happen again.

Hello, Angela.

I was hoping I'd get a chance to see you before dinner.

Oh, hello, merrill.

Uh, merrill, Vicki seems to be upsetting Johnny,

and I -- I think it would be better if you told her to,

well, stay away from him for a while.

Listen, Angela, I know Vicki.

She wouldn't do anything to bother your son.

Oh, don't take it personally.

Johnny's pestered by young girls all the time.

So now my daughter's a pest?

I didn't mean it that way,

but the last thing Johnny needs right now

is to be annoyed. Excuse me.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

No, don't -- not in front of the kids.

Let's talk outside.

-I'm talkin' out here. -All right.

You made a big mistake going with Johnny lovett.

Marty, he's gonna be fine.

I'll get a great performance out of this kid.

Well, make me believe it.

Trust me.

Bennett, the one thing that I do not trust at this moment

is a director who says, "trust me."

Marty, how can you say that to me?

Marty, it's gonna be fine. -Okay. There they are.

Oh, uh, ooh, shelley, okay.

Uh, give it all you got.

Knock 'em dead.

Bennett, I can say that because I don't believe...

♪ Gee, it's all fine and dandy ♪

...one word the kid's saying.

He's nervous!

♪ Sugar, candy, when I've got you ♪

Well, help put his nerves into --

♪ then I only see the sunny side ♪

Marty, it's the first time he's ever done anything.

You've got to pull something real out of him.

♪ Even trouble has its funny side ♪

We'll talk about this later.

No, no. We're gonna talk about this now.

I don't want to talk about it now.

We've got to talk about it now, Bennett.

They hated me.

No, they didn't. They didn't even notice you.

Shelley, what gopher meant is

it takes time for big shots to notice unknowns.

Let's face it, guys. I'm never gonna get discovered.

This is impossible.

Aw, shelley...

♪ Nothing's impossible, I have found ♪

♪ for when my chin is on the ground ♪

♪ I pick myself up, dust myself off ♪

♪ start all over again ♪

♪ don't lose your confidence if you slip ♪

♪ be grateful for a pleasant trip ♪

♪ and pick yourself up ♪

♪ dust yourself off ♪

♪ start all over again ♪

♪ work like a soul inspired ♪

♪ 'till the battle of the day is done ♪

♪ you may be sick and tired ♪

♪ but you'll be a man, my son ♪

♪ will you remember the famous men ♪

♪ who had to fall to rise again ♪

♪ so take a deep breath ♪

♪ pick yourself up ♪

♪ dust yourself off ♪

♪ and start all over again ♪

♪♪

♪ I'll get some self-assurance if your endurance is long ♪

♪ I'll learn by easy stages ♪

♪ if you're courageous and strong ♪

♪ to feel the strength I want to ♪

♪ I must hang onto your hand ♪

♪ maybe if you both will need me ♪

♪ I'll convince them that they need me ♪

♪ won't that be grand? ♪

Hey!

Whoo!

♪ Will you remember the famous men ♪

♪ who had to fall to rise again ♪

♪ so take a deep breath ♪

♪ pick yourself up ♪

♪ dust yourself off ♪

♪ and start all over aga-a-a-a-a-in ♪

♪♪

Oh, merrill!

I came to take you to dinner.

Oh, I wasn't sure we were still on for tonight.

Absolutely.

You know, when I was in officer's training school,

they taught me two things.

The first was celestial navigation.

The second was never stand up a beautiful lady.

Well, I bet you graduated at the head of your class.

I'm, uh, sorry I got a little carried away before.

Forgive me?

Forgiveness was the third thing they taught me.

♪♪

Oh, I'm sorry.

You're the one who doesn't want to be bothered.

Vicki, Vicki, wait.

Don't go.

Look, I've been acting like a jerk.

It's okay.

No, no. It's not okay.

Its just, this acting, it --

it's making me crazy,

and I -- I guess I've been taking it out on you.

I'm just not an actor. I'm a singer.

But I've seen you act in your videos and you're great.

It's not acting.

When I have a guitar in my hands, I'm singing,

the feeling just takes over.

It's a whole different thing.

This is what I do.

♪♪

♪ what goes up must come down ♪

♪ a spinning wheel all around ♪

♪ you're talkin' 'bout your troubles ♪

♪ it's a cryin' sin ♪

♪ ride a painted pony ♪

♪ let the spinning wheel spin ♪

♪ you got no money and you and you got no home ♪

♪ a spinning wheel, all alone ♪

♪ talkin' 'bout your troubles ♪

♪ and you never learn ♪

♪ ride a painted pony ♪

♪ let the spinning wheel turn ♪

♪ I left a good job in the city ♪

♪ oh, working for the man every night and day ♪

♪ but I never lost one minute of sleeping ♪

♪ worrying 'bout the way things might have been ♪

♪ big wheel keep on turning ♪

♪ proud Mary keep on burning ♪

♪ I said rolling, oh, rolling, ♪

♪ rolling on the river ♪

♪ oh, rolling ♪

♪ oh, rolling ♪

♪ rolling on the river ♪

You got it.

♪ I left a good job in the city ♪

♪ oh, working for the man every night and day ♪

♪ but I never saw the good side of a city ♪

♪ until I hitched a ride on the riverboat queen ♪

♪ big wheel keep on turnin' ♪

♪ oh, proud Mary keep on burnin' ♪

♪ I said rollin', oh, rollin', ♪

♪ rollin' on the river ♪

♪ tell me, rolling, oh, rolling ♪

♪ rolling on the river ♪

♪ oh, rolling, oh, rolling ♪

♪ rolling on the river ♪

♪ oh, rolling, oh, rolling ♪

♪ rolling on the river ♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

Johnny, what was great.

If you can do that, you can do anything!

Yeah, maybe even act.

And I think I'll start by acting nicer to you.

Attention, please. Main seating dinner

is now being served in the coral dining room.

Angela, if you haven't decided yet,

may I suggest the captain's special?

He certainly is.

Oh, I'd like to thank you guys

for introducing me to Faye marsh.

She's really a spectacular lady.

[ Chuckles ]

Well, it, uh, couldn't happen to a nicer guy.

Absolutely, doc.

Oh, uh, speaking of terrific ladies, doc, uh, where's Julie?

Uh, I mean, doesn't she usually sit at the captain's table?

Sure. She'll be along soon.

The question is how can I arrange for Julie

to be around me enough to get to know me?

That's your problem.

Thanks a lot.

Well, uh, how is filming going, gentlemen?

Oh, perfect. Just perfect.

It, uh, no, uh, no, no.

I mean, not exactly perfect.

No, not exactly perfect,

no. I -- it -- the, uh, well,

there's, uh, some production problems...

Yes. That we've been having,

and as a matter of fact, I'm getting lost,

I mean, on the ship quite a bit,

and I was wondering if you could assign a member of your staff

to assist me. -Of course.

Uh, how about my daughter, Vicki?

Well, the hours may be just too...

Too late. For a young girl.

You're probably right.

How about gopher?

Good, good.

Gopher would be fine.

Well, actually, not, captain.

You see, I need someone to go into the ladies' dressing room.

I'd sacrifice myself for the good of the picture.

[ Laughs ]

Forget it, Adam, forget it.

Well, there's Julie.

Julie, yes.

Oh, I hadn't thought of Julie.

I suppose that's -- that's not a bad suggestion, captain.

Yes, actually, it's...

Julie would be great.

Julie would be great for what?

Well, Mr. Chenault needs an assistant

with his motion picture details and I suggested you.

Oh.

It's strictly business.

I mean, uh, strictly business.

Do you really think this is going to work?

Hey, trust.

So, shelley, what are you going to have for dinner?

Uh... [ Clears throat ]

♪ First I'll have the fried zucchini ♪

♪ with the scaloppine sautéed in the vino ♪

♪ then the cappuccino ♪

♪ or oysters rockefeller ♪

♪ makes me feel so mellow ♪

♪ with a cabernet to wash it down ♪

All: Hey!

♪ Spiced tomatoes, sweet potatoes ♪

♪ pumpkin pie and Irish stew ♪

♪ salmon steak and chocolate cake ♪

♪ with maybe just a touch of ice -- ♪

Oh second thought, I'm on a diet.

♪♪

[ Song ends ]

[ Applause ]

A toast to new friends.

May we never let our children's squabbles

get in the way of our friendship again.

Angela, it's really a shame.

Here we are becoming good friends

and our kids still don't get along.

I know.

All they do is fight.

You know, I guess it's up to us to straighten them out.

-Hi, mom. -Hi, dad.

♪♪

Both: Ah.

Ladies and gentlemen, as you know,

we have been shooting a movie aboard this most fabulous ship,

and we do hope you've enjoyed, uh, watching us work.

But now, we're gonna put you to work.

We're gonna ask you to be a part of this musical number.

Woman: Whoo!

Bennett: All we want you to do is just relax,

enjoy yourself, act normal.

Uh, but whatever you do, please,

do not look into that lens, please.

Is everything ready?

Yes, sir.

Quiet on the set, please!

Ready anytime you are, bb.

Light it!

Roll 'em!

And action!

♪♪

♪ Hot ♪

♪ it's too hot ♪

♪ too hot ♪

♪ it's much too hot ♪

♪ much too hot ♪

♪ it's much too darn hot ♪

♪ it's too darn hot ♪

♪ Hot ♪

♪ it's too hot ♪

♪ too hot ♪

♪ it's much too hot ♪

♪ much too hot ♪

♪ it's much too darn hot ♪

♪ it's too darn hot ♪

♪ they're havin' a heat wave ♪

♪ it's too darn hot ♪

♪ a tropical heat wave ♪

It's so hot

♪ the temperature's rising ♪

♪ it isn't surprising ♪

♪ she certainly can do the can-can ♪

♪ it's too darn hot ♪

♪♪

♪ I started the heat wave ♪

♪ it's hot, it's so darn hot ♪

♪ by letting my seat wave ♪

♪ that's too hot ♪

♪ and in such a way that the customers say that ♪

♪ she certainly can do the can-can ♪

♪ it's too darn hot ♪

♪ gee, my anatomy ♪

♪ made the Mercury climb to 93 ♪

♪ too hot ♪

♪ we're havin' a heat wave ♪

♪ a tropical heat wave ♪

♪ and when she moves that thermometer proves that ♪

♪ I certainly can ♪

How hot is it?

♪ It's so hot the weatherman says a record has been made ♪

♪ but how hot is it? ♪

♪ It's so hot you get a tan while lyin' in the shade ♪

♪ yeah, but how hot is it? ♪

♪ It's so hot the coldest maiden feels warm as a bride ♪

♪ so how hot is it? ♪

♪ It's so hot a chicken laid an egg on the street ♪

♪ and it fried ♪

♪♪

♪ Too darn hot ♪

♪ it's too darn hot ♪

♪ too darn hot ♪

♪ it's just too darn hot ♪

♪ too hot ♪

♪ it's so hot you'll get a tan ♪

♪ while you're lyin' in the shade ♪

♪ we're having a heat wave ♪

♪ a tropical heat wave ♪

♪ and when she moves ♪

♪ that thermometer proves that ♪

♪ she certainly can do the can-can ♪

♪ it's too darn hot ♪

[ Cheers and applause

ladies and gentlemen, the filming of "dreamboat"

is finished for today, so get a good night's sleep.

Tomorrow may be your day to be a star.

[ Elevator bell dings ]

We're on.

Are you the famous film director, Mr. Bennett barton?

Yes, I'm afraid so.

What happened? Why'd we stop like that?

Oh, these elevators, sometimes they get stuck like that.

Why don't you press the alarm button?

-'Cause it's broken. -It's broken?

But don't worry, these elevators fix themselves

in just, oh, a couple of minutes.

Well, since we're here,

we might as well make the best of a bad situation.

Shelley, why don't you entertain us?

Oh, but how could I do that?

I -- I -- I don't have any music.

I just happen to have a kazoo right here.

What a treat. [ Clears throat ]

[ Kazoo playing ]

[ All vocalizing melody ]

Hey! Hey, hey, uh,

why are the walls closing in like this?

Uh, it's not that I have claustrophobia,

it's just that I can't breathe.

Somebody let me out of here! I can't breathe!

[ Screaming ]

[ Elevator bell dings ]

Open.

Thank you.

Oh, [ Sighs ]

You know, um, I didn't win that academy award for nothing.

Ciao.

♪♪

It's a beautiful night, isn't it?

I want to thank you.

Thank me? For what?

Well, since you're helping me coordinate things for the movie,

i thought you arranged for the moon and everything.

Well, I did put in a call

but nobody answered, so I left a message

on the machine.

Mm.

Well, Julie, I don't know if you intend to or not,

but you're leaving a message on my machine.

The message says, "think about Julie.

Think about Julie."

Well, it's getting pretty late

and I have to get up early.

I'll walk you to your cabin.

Do you...

Do you get any message from me?

Oh, I like you, Marty.

I really like you a lot, but...

♪ Life is in perfect order ♪

♪ with you on my arm ♪

♪ it makes my shoulders broader ♪

♪ with you on my arm ♪

♪ even when things won't gel ♪

♪ and the pieces won't fit ♪

♪ I'm suddenly in ♪

♪ I'm suddenly on ♪

♪ I'm suddenly it ♪

♪ who else can make me feel like I'm handsome and tall? ♪

♪ Who else can make me feel I'm on top of it all? ♪

♪ We start a conflagration that's cause for alarm ♪

♪ we're settin' off bells ♪

♪ we're givin' off sparks ♪

♪ whenever it's you on my arm ♪

♪ life is a celebration ♪

♪ with you on my arm ♪

♪ walking's a new sensation ♪

♪ with you on my arm ♪

♪ each time I face a morning ♪

♪ that's boring and bland ♪

♪ with you it looks good ♪

♪ with you it looks great ♪

♪ with you it looks grand ♪

Good night.

♪♪

♪ I found a combination ♪

♪ that works like a charm ♪

♪ I'm simply a man ♪

♪ who walks on the stars ♪

♪ whenever it's you on my arm ♪

Good night.

Good night.

Oh, Adam.

I can't believe I've met a man like you.

-Oh. -You know, I don't think

I've ever been this happy, except maybe

when I was with Robert.

Oh?

Which one of your husbands was Robert?

Oh, Robert wasn't one my husbands.

I was never happy with any of my husbands.

No, Robert was a character I played opposite

in "retreat from the dawn."

Oh.

Were you in love with the actor who played Robert?

Oh, no. I couldn't stand that fool.

He kept trying to get into my close-ups,

but I adored the character he played.

Come here, Faye.

Oh, Adam,

you kiss just like Robert.

I know. I saw "retreat from the dawn" three times.

[ Both laugh ]

Good morning, passengers.

We are now serving our delicious breakfast buffet

on the starlight deck.

Doc!

-Hey, Vicki. -Hi.

Can I talk to you for a minute?

Well, sure. What can I do for you?

I came down to your office before.

I thought maybe you could give me something.

Well, what's the matter? Aren't you feeling well?

Well, I don't know. It's weird.

I don't feel bad really, I...I don't know,

I-I just feel funny.

Well, you don't have a fever.

Any specific symptoms?

♪ I hear singing and... ♪

♪ Well, there's no one there ♪

♪ I smell blossoms and the trees are bare ♪

Trees on a ship?

♪ All day long I seem to walk on air ♪

♪ I wonder why ♪

♪ I wonder why ♪

♪ I keep tossing in my sleep at night ♪

Restless...

♪ And what's more ♪

♪ I've lost my appetite ♪

You?

♪ Stars that used to twinkle in the skies ♪

♪ are twinkling in my eyes ♪

♪ I wonder why ♪

♪ you don't need analyzing ♪

♪ it is not so surprising ♪

♪ that you see twinkling stars above ♪

♪ there is nothing you can take ♪

♪ to relieve that pleasant ache ♪

♪ you're not sick ♪

♪ you're just in love ♪

Are you sure? I mean...

♪ You don't need analyzing ♪

♪ I hear singing ♪

♪ and there's no one there ♪

♪ and it's not so surprising ♪

♪ I smell blossoms ♪

♪ that you feel so strange ♪

♪ and the trees are bare ♪

♪ but nice ♪

♪ your heart goes pitter-patter ♪

♪ all day long ♪

♪ I seem to walk on air ♪

♪ I know just what's the matter ♪

♪ I wonder why ♪

♪ because I've been there ♪

♪ once or twice ♪

♪ I wonder why ♪

♪ put your head on my shoulder ♪

♪ I keep tossing in my sleep ♪

♪ at night ♪

♪ you need someone who's older ♪

♪ you've come down with a bout ♪

♪ and what's more ♪

♪ of love ♪

♪ I've lost my appetite ♪

♪ there is nothing you can do ♪

♪ stars that used to twinkle ♪

♪ in the sky ♪

♪ to relieve that pleasant ache ♪

♪ are twinklin' in my eye ♪

♪ you're not sick, you're just ♪

♪ I wonder why ♪

♪ you're just in love ♪

Trees?

♪♪

♪♪