Original subtitles

[Theme - Jack Jones, "love boat theme"]

Theme song: Love, exciting and new.

Come aboard.

We're expecting you.

And love, life's sweetest reward.

Let it flow.

It floats back to you.

The love boat soon will be making another run.

The love boat promises something for everyone.

Set a course for adventure, your mind on a new romance.

And love won't hurt anymore.

It's an open smile on a friendly shore.

It's love.

Open the door.

It's love.

[Music playing]

[Crowd chatter]

[Music intensifies]

Oh!

It's so beautiful.

It's what I've wanted my whole life.

That is truly beautiful Jade.

That is the most beautiful necklace I've ever seen.

I really want this, but I just can't buy it.

I just can't do that.

Darling, there you are.

Me?

Yes, uh, I'm sorry I'm late, but--

oh, you've got me confused with somebody else.

I'm here, and all yours for the rest of the day.

You are?

Do you like the Jade?

Oh, yes, I love the Jade.

Well, then it's all yours.

My lady'll take the Jade.

No, i-- I can't take the Jade.

Of course you can.

No, I can't.

You don't understand. My husband--

shh.

[Romantic music]

Just think of it as a gift from me to you.

I don't see him anywhere.

Listen.

What?

I'll go this way, and you go that way.

No, why don't I go that way and you go this way?

Why?

Because of my hand.

Oh, ok.

Oh, what beautiful roses.

Thank you.

[Non-English speech]

[Laughs]

It's beginning to look like a Rose parade.

Yes.

Oh, Mr. Sun, thank you very much.

And I know you'll do your absolutely finest work for me.

Appreciate it.

This is some mantrap you've laid.

Are you sure you want to go through with it?

Absolutely.

What's wrong with having a home and helping

my man with a career? Hmm?

Nothing at all.

Can I get you anything else, some violinists, some ginseng,

perhaps?

Uh, no.

But you might keep your eyes open for a passing minister.

You got it.

[Laughs]

Dan: It's like I always say, I have a very

warm feeling [inaudible].

And I can assure you, we'll do everything

in our power to maintain it.

Well, if you'll excuse me.

I've-- I've got to run along.

Thank you very much.

Thank you, sir.

[Car horn honks]

Take over will you, man?

I've got to go in and change.

It's almost time to meet Polly.

Did you pick up the ring?

I have to talk to you, Dan.

Something's come up.

Well, it'll have to wait.

It can't.

Look, Dan, I know I should have told you yesterday

when I first found out.

But I had a weak moment.

I can't afford to be weak anymore.

I'm sorry, Dan.

Look, try and picture it, convention center,

San Francisco, 25,000 screaming delegates in straw

hats and banners, bands playing.

Tip O'Neill says, here's the next president of the united

states and his lovely wife, the famous gambling queen

poker Polly.

Let's face it, Dan.

Those aren't very good credentials for a first lady.

I can't do this to her, Matt.

I love her.

You've got to be selfish.

You marry that woman, you'll never

make it to the white house.

You're lucky to be invited to lunch.

I'll see you later, Matt.

She's waiting for me.

Dan, do you think the American people want to see a poker chip

spinning over the white house?

Look, i-- i-- can't--

I can't--

excuse me, senator, can I have one more picture?

Yeah, i-- i--

I'll be with you, just--

Dan, here, picture it.

Don't blow it.

Look, I'll talk to her.

No, no, no, I'll handle it.

Dan, don't worry.

I'll let her down easy.

Ship announcer: [Non-English speech]..

Ladies and gentlemen, we hope you enjoy

your meal and [inaudible].

I'm starved.

I hope they have Chinese food.

[Laughs]

Well, hi.

Well, if you're going to eat at jumbo's, you're

in for something special.

You know why they call it jumbo's

because they give you enough food to feed an elephant.

I'm-- I'm really happy we ran into you.

I'm afraid I'm gonna have to have my check back.

Uh, did you buy something, Mrs. Savage?

I swear I didn't.

I didn't.

Well then tell them how you got that Jade necklace.

Uh, well, I was standing there minding my business.

And out of nowhere, a complete stranger, a man,

he came up to me.

He put his arms around me.

He bought me this necklace.

And then he kissed me.

And then he left.

This is the truth.

On my word of honor, I swear. I swear.

I swear.

I swear.

Well, all right.

Hold onto the check for a little while longer.

I'm going to give her the benefit of a doubt, at least

until I get to the bottom of this.

If she loses the bet, she can sell that story to the movies.

Oh, Jimmy, I wish I had a recording

of you giving the taxi driver directions in Chinese.

I got us here, didn't I?

Julie: Yeah, but it was iffy for a while.

It's too bad you too are gonna fly on to Japan instead

of sailing home with us.

We're gonna miss these guys aren't we Vicki?

Oh, I'm sorry, Julie.

What'd you say?

Sorry, we woke you.

Peter, Vicki hasn't been the same since you

showed her around Hong Kong.

You must have worn the poor girl out.

Anybody want to go out and see the fish tanks?

You can pick your own main course, fresh out of the water.

Oh, that sounds good.

You guys coming?

Uh, no thanks.

No fish for me.

Oh, well, we'll see you later then.

[Crowd chatter]

[Romantic music]

Vicki: Peter.

Just a few more minutes.

Thank you.

He was probably detained on business.

No.

He'd have left a message.

What time is it?

I think the Chinese call it the hour of the rat.

Let's face it, Kathy.

I've been stood up.

Kathy.

Darling.

Uh, Polly could I have a word in private with you?

Well, is Dan all right?

Oh, he's fine.

I, uh, just need to say something to you.

Oh, well.

We're both big girls.

Whatever you have to say, Matt, say it.

It's not gonna work out, Polly.

If I'd have known about your business,

I could have saved you a lot of heartache.

I mean to be blunt, Dan Whitman's a class act.

Are you insinuating that Polly isn't?

Cards on the table, ok?

We can't have a presidential candidate connected

to Polly's poker palace.

Dan feels that it would be bad for his image.

Of all the damn nerve.

Now look, the party wouldn't touch him with a 10 foot pole.

The man had to make a decision.

Well, it's no big deal, Matt, just

a little shipboard romance.

You tell the senator, I wish him a lot

of luck with the white house.

[Intense music]

Honey, look.

Don't honey me.

You're a yellow livered mountain of jello.

As a matter of fact, I'm astounded that I was

stupid enough to fall for you.

I think we're both well rid of you.

[Non-English speech]

[Non-English speech] How nice.

[Non-English speech]

Yes.

Ok, now, what do you think about this one?

Lunch shark's fin soup.

That's nice.

Stuffed eel and horse's head.

What do you suggest?

[Non-English speech]

That sounds good to me.

Make it two.

[Laughter]

All right, Eleanor.

I'm ready to hear story number two

about how you got the necklace.

Oh, please, Robert.

Why don't you believe me about that necklace?

Here.

For heaven's sake.

There's my travelers checks. Count them.

Here's my money.

Count them.

Here!

Here's everything I started with is still here.

I don't know why you don't believe me.

Table for two please.

Robert.

Hmm?

There's the man.

That's the one who bought me the necklace.

There he is.

Eleanor, come on.

Why would he buy a necklace for you if he's got

a woman who looks like that.

[Laughs]

Robert, that remark will cost you dearly.

Hey, goph!

Where have you been?

I've been looking for you.

Well, great spies we'd make, man.

We can't even find each other.

Now, let's go, all right.

Hey, not now.

I'm going over to jumbo's for lunch.

Lunch?

Yeah.

You think spies eat lunch?

You think Charles Dane is over there

scarfing up moo goo gai pan?

Now, come on.

Put up your collar.

Well, maybe they got takeout.

Charming place.

Charming company.

[Scoffs]

You're only saying that because we're lovers.

Hey, that's right.

I'd forgotten all about it.

You have?

I think I'd better give you a little refresher course.

Well, I'm a slow study.

It may take days.

Or nights.

Listen, I'll be right back.

Would you order me a--

vodka gimlet.

And you said, you're a slow study.

Hmm.

Oh, you forgot your--

[Zipper unzipping]

[Dramatic music]

[Gun unloading]

[Zipper zipping]

[Romantic music]

Vicki: I feel so guilty.

Julie has no idea what's happening between Peter and me.

And do you know what's happening?

Well, of course I know.

What do you mean?

I mean Julie may feel hurt when

she discovers what happened.

What about your problem with Peter?

How do you feel about him?

I think I may love him.

Is that possible?

Perhaps.

Tell me, Vicki, do you love me?

Of course I do.

You're my father.

Mm, that's not a good enough reason.

Why?

Why do you love me?

Well, you're good to me.

You're always there when I need you.

You encourage me.

You're caring.

And you're very understanding.

I don't know.

It just seems that in all the time that we've been together--

time, Vicki, that's the word.

Love comes with time.

[Upbeat music]

Polly Sullivan.

Trevor.

Oh, Trevor, how good to see you.

What on earth brings you here?

Oh, a business trip, opening a casino in Macau.

Oh, splendid.

Oh, this is my friend, Kathy, also my lawyer.

This is Trevor staines and old and dear friend.

How do you do?

Hello.

The last time I saw this divine creature,

we tore up tramps in London.

She was dancing on the tabletops till all hours.

But he was leading.

[Laughter]

Oh, I must warn you, he's mad as a march hare.

He's the original crazed human being.

Please, a little respect for my new status, darling.

I am now her majesty's trade commissioner

for this peachy outpost so watch your manners.

Trevor, congratulations.

That's wonderful.

What perfect timing, your being here now.

I'm laying on a huge cocktail party this afternoon.

Now, promise me you'll come.

Oh, that's impossible.

We're booked with meetings.

And as a matter of fact, we're-- we're on our way to one now.

We're booked solid.

Oh, what a pity.

The guest of honor is one of your nobs from Washington,

senator Daniel Whitman.

[Romantic music]

[Laughs]

On second thought, Trevor dear,

I do accept your kind invitation.

Trevor: Polly, I know that look.

I see something wild and dangerous in your eyes.

Trevor, darling, what in the world ever gave you that idea?

Eleanor.

Yes, darling.

Don't you think we've ridden this boat long enough?

Oh, come on, Robert.

Where's your spirit of adventure?

Adventure?

We've been back and forth across this harbor 17 times.

18, and I'm not getting off this ferry until every shop

in Hong Kong is closed.

I've gone this far, Robert, and believe me,

I'm going to win this bet.

Thank you.

I'm not allowed to buy anything.

[Melancholy music]

My father thinks I'm too young to know what love is.

What do you think?

I don't know.

Well, I know I care very much for you.

Well, what about Julie?

Or what about Jimmy for that matter?

Look, I already talked to Jimmy.

He was upset at first, but now he's fine.

I'm gonna feel just terrible telling Julie.

No, not as terrible as you would not telling her.

You know, you haven't said five words in an hour, Charles.

Was it something I did?

No.

- Something I didn't do? - No.

[Laughs]

You were cool all night.

In fact, you haven't been the same since

lunch yesterday at jumbo's.

Just thinking.

I get the feeling you're not thinking about me.

Oh, but I am.

I-- I definitely am.

Hey, get over.

There they are.

Follow that [inaudible].

[Exciting music]

[Gentle music]

Count and countess [Inaudible]..

Governor and Mrs. Parker [inaudible]..

Good idea.

Prime minister suzuki and madam.

Lady Gwendolyn Devonshire.

Lady Gwendolyn Devonshire.

Excuse me.

Lady Gwendolyn.

Trevor darling.

You look divine.

Thank you, darling.

Shall we?

Oh, let's.

Major and Mrs. [inaudible].

Lady Gwendolyn?

Looks like Polly Sullivan's twin sister.

Sir John and lady foster, lady Gwendolyn Devonshire.

How do you do?

How do you do?

And, uh, prince and Princess [Inaudible],, lady Devonshire.

How do you do?

Hello.

I'm so happy to meet you.

And our guest of honor, American

senator Mr. Daniel Whitman, lady Gwendolyn Devonshire.

Charmed to meet you.

You look familiar.

Oh, dear.

Have I made a frightful gaff?

I'm terribly sorry.

Have we met before somewhere?

No, I guess not.

But could i--

Gwendolyn, um, I'd like you to meet our new bishop.

Oh, I see.

Well, now don't you disappear because you're quite adorable.

I so love Americans.

They smell of soap and peppermint, don't they?

Oh, Jimmy.

Hi, how are you doing?

About the same as you.

I guess we both ended up also-rans.

I can't believe Peter and Vicki preferred each other.

You knew about it, didn't you?

Oh, yes, of course, Vicki and I are friends.

She tells me everything.

Some friend to go sneaking off with your date my brother.

See ya.

[Melancholy music]

Oh, right.

Well, here we are on Patterson street.

You said, you wanted to see it.

It's not much of a tourist attraction though.

You know why I wanted to see it?

No. Why?

I was born in a town called Patterson, obviously.

- In Patterson? - Yeah.

[Laughs]

Ok, listen.

I want a picture of me with the street sign behind me.

Would you do it? Would you mind?

Sure. Hometown girl makes good.

Why not? - Ok.

[Dramatic music]

You ready?

Yes.

Ok.

Hey, wait a minute.

You took your last picture on this roll.

You're-- you're out of film.

There's a little camera store around the corner.

You mind?

Well, not at all.

I'll be back in five minutes.

Thank you.

The buddy system stops here.

Ah, if you're planning to shoot me, you better let

me get you another clip for this.

Police!

Gopher and Isaac: Police!

This one will hurt you.

Get in the Van.

Yeah, you heard her.

Get in the Van. - Keep moving.

You too.

What, me?

Oh, no, no, wait a minute.

We helped you.

[Interposing voices]

I've got some unfinished business.

- Uh-huh. - [Inaudible]

Huh? No.

Hey. - What are you doing?

She's the bad guy.

I said I'll be right back. Hold the fort.

[Non-English speech] [Interposing voices]

They can't hold--

wait a minute.

I am really sick of playing [inaudible] with you.

[Whistle]

Vicki told me about you and Peter and how she got involved.

Oh, well, there's nothing really to tell.

My ego got a little bruised.

But I'm ok now.

I'm glad about that, Julie, because I need your help.

Well, what's wrong with you?

[Sighs]

Same thing that's wrong with all fathers, i'm

concerned about my daughter.

Vicki thinks she's in love with Peter.

Well, how can I help with that?

In a situation like this, I think

she misses having a mother to talk to her, at least

a very, very close friend.

Well, I'm not old enough to be her mother,

but I would make a good very, very close friend.

Thank you, Julie.

Sure.

[Gentle music]

Lady Gwendolyn comes from a long line of aristocracy.

And her great-grandfather was lord chesick.

It's what you would call old money.

Well, she's certainly a dead ringer for Polly.

Trevor: Polly?

Not Polly Sullivan by any chance?

Yes.

Ah, her twin sister Polly, the black sheep of the family.

She ran off with a gambler, went to america when she was young.

Tsk, Tsk.

The less said about her, the better.

Well, excuse me, I have to check up on the champagne.

Bye.

[Crowd chatter]

There's your answer.

This woman has class.

You'd do very well--

hmm, Matt, from now on, just stay out of my personal life,

huh?

[Laughter]

Oh, yes, that charming American congressman.

Uh, senator.

Uh, well, whatever.

Oh, it's been very nice meeting you.

- Happy talking to you. - Oh, thank you.

- Bye. - Thank you.

Good bye. - Bye.

Thanks.

Well, let's you and I have a little chat up.

I'll find out all about you.

Uh, lady Gwendolyn, I have to talk to you.

Yes, I know you do.

And I know what it is you want to say.

You want to show me Hong Kong tomorrow, don't you?

Oh, no, no.

Well, what i-- what I wanted to say was that i--

i-- you--

oh, you Americans are such masculine,

absolutely marvelous animals.

I mean, you're-- you're positively,

you're on top of everything, aren't you, ducky?

Well, it does sorta go with our character.

Gwendolyn: Ah, I find American men devastatingly attractive.

So I must be on my guard against you, Ben.

That's Dan.

Well, well, whatever.

Pick me up tomorrow around noon at the peninsula.

- Excuse me. - Yes.

Gwendolyn darling, I want you to meet some absolutely

fascinating people.

Oh, lovely.

Until tomorrow, ta-ta.

I do believe you have him hooked.

Oh, right.

Now, all I have to do is reel him in.

Good girl.

[Laughter]

[Music playing]

Julie, thanks for inviting to lunch.

I was afraid you'd really be mad at me.

No.

My ego was bruised for a split second.

Well, maybe an unsplit second.

I'm sorry.

Don't be.

It's not your fault. I've just got

to realize that you're growing up,

and men are going to find you attractive.

And they should because you are.

Thanks.

Your father tells me you think you're in love with Peter.

I'm not sure.

I mean, I know it's not the first time this has ever

happened in recorded history.

But I'm starting to get these feelings.

Well, what kind of feelings?

Feelings like maybe I'd like to go a little bit further

than kissing.

Does Peter feel the same way you do?

Vicki, sometimes we have biological feelings

before we're ready to handle them emotionally.

All I'm suggesting is follow your heart, but don't rush it.

Hmm, good.

[Laughter]

Oh, what a break, Mrs. Savage, you

being the one millionth customer and

getting a free shopping spree.

I know.

I know.

If you'd held the door open and let your wife go in first,

you would have been the one millionth customers.

- Please, please. - Oh, that's right.

I didn't think of that.

Neither did I. And I got all these goodies

without spending one dime.

You know what?

I think that somebody up there hates me.

Somebody down here really loves you.

[Crowd chatter]

You know, every time I try this, the chopsticks win.

Oh, well, just think of them as extensions

of your own fingers.

That's all, darling.

That's my problem.

My mother never let me eat with my fingers.

Hmm, your mother must have been British.

You know, this makes three meals in a row we've had

together.

Hmm, care to try for four?

Definitely.

Breakfast has always been my favorite mean.

With or without chopsticks?

With or without breakfast.

Peter: Have you thought about what I asked you?

Yes, I've thought about it.

In fact, that's all I've thought about for the last few days

and nights, mostly nights.

What do you think?

I think yes.

But I say no.

No.

I think I may love you, Peter.

But I think it's best that we take our time.

If it's really love, it'll be there next week,

or next month, or next year.

But maybe I won't be.

Then I'll be all the more pleased with my no.

I understand.

I'll never forget you, Vicki.

And I'll never forget you.

Julie won't see you before you leave for Japan,

so she asked me to give you this.

And, uh, Jimmy asked me to give you this.

And this is from me.

Oh, it's been a smashing day.

It really has, Gwen.

You've given me back the sunshine.

Oh, what a sweet thing to say.

Gwen, there's-- there's something I have to ask you.

I-- I realize we haven't known each other very long, but i--

oh, don't say that, darling because I have

this wonderful feeling that you and I have known each other

long before we've met.

Thank you for saying that.

Gwen, let's suppose that there was this man who

fell in love with you, only you didn't

know much about each other--

oh.

Perhaps, uh, you [inaudible]

Oh, my dear, this man of shadows,

could it possibly be you?

Do you think you might, that is--

oh, yes, yes, darling, absolutely, yes, yes, yes.

You-- you'd really marry me?

But suppose i--

marry you?

Oh, you must be joshing.

I thought you were asking me to have an affair with you.

Oh, no, no, I, uh--

but I couldn't possibly marry you.

Mommy and daddy would disinherit me.

And-- and-- I mean, after all, one doesn't marry a politician.

Oh, just a little minute here, I happen

to be a United States senator.

Well, isn't that sort of like marrying a civil servant?

Oh, Daniel, don't misunderstand.

I adore you.

But I couldn't possibly marry beneath my station.

I don't believe this.

Gwendolyn: Oh, please, darling, don't carry on so.

We can have a marvely little back street affair.

And then you can run along to Washington and--

and do your funny little job.

You are, without question, the most conceited,

self-centered, opinionated snob, I've ever met.

Oh, dear, and now, you're getting squeaky.

Dan: You bet I am.

And they say, your sister is the black sheep of the family.

Well, I think they picked the wrong sister.

Maybe I did too.

I'm really proud of you, Eleanor.

I didn't think you'd make it without buying something.

Neither did I.

[Laughs]

Well, we sail tonight, and you made it.

Well, I still have a little time left, honey.

No, no, no, no, no, no, you won the bet.

I want you to have this $25,000.

You earned it fair and square.

Oh, honey.

You are the sweetest man in the whole world.

[Laughs]

But i-- I really can't accept that.

Why not?

Well, I didn't really win the bet.

I bought something in Hong Kong.

But I bought it for you.

You-- you lost the bet just to buy something for me.

Yeah.

I love you very much, Eleanor.

- I love you too. - Hmm.

Ah.

But I want you to have this.

You really earned it.

Aw, you don't have to.

I want to.

Really?

[Laughter]

There it goes.

Go on. Open it.

I want to see what you think of it.

This-- this is beautiful.

It was on sale, $15,000.

You spent $15,000 on a watch?

No, 30 the sale was over when I got there.

Give me that.

Don't you dare.

Julie (intercom): Attention all passengers, the Princess

will be leaving the port of Hong Kong

for Los Angeles at midnight.

I believe this is yours.

Yes.

Thank you.

It's empty.

This one isn't.

Is that what you used on the man that was following me?

Yes.

Maybe he was my protection?

That would make me the enemy, wouldn't it?

The hostile.

Mm-hmm.

You could have saved time and killed me in my cabin.

I thought I had.

Hmm.

Come on.

What's your plan?

Kill me here, dump the body overboard?

Kiss you here and take the body back to bed.

You were my protection.

But the colonel promised me he wouldn't

have anyone tailing me.

Promised you he wouldn't have any man tailing you.

Oh, that--

do you still think I'm trying to kill you?

Yeah.

And what a way to die.

[Romantic music]

I'd have given a year's supply of pantyhose to see Dan's face.

That cute little dimple of his just quivered.

Well, we won't be seeing those two again,

not that it's any great loss.

Wrong, it's the biggest loss of my life.

Matt was a wonderful kisser.

Ah, what an idiot I am.

I had Polly, the perfect woman.

Oh, no, I had to listen to you.

Don't blame me.

You're the big brainy senator.

Oh, shut up, and let's eat.

Waiter: This way, gentlemen.

Should we give them another chance?

What'll we do?

Well, as someone once said, what did

god give us beautiful legs for?

Will you two watch where you're going?

Klutzy.

Rude.

Polly.

I'm so glad to see you.

Kathy.

Honey, I made a big mistake.

I've been such a fool.

I love you.

I don't know how I could have done what I did.

Well, why don't you just plead insanity, and I'll defend you.

Is there any way I can make you believe in me again?

Well, we could take a walk in the moonlight

and you could try to convince me.

There's nothing I'd rather do.

Really, darling, because I find American men

devastatingly attractive.

Well.

[Laughter]

[Music playing]

Well, we sail in two hours.

Oh, I'm really going to miss Hong Kong.

Yes, it was a wonderful trip.

But it'll be nice to see Los Angeles again.

Vicki, I hope you're not too unhappy about what

happened with Peter.

No, dad.

Besides, I think I'll be hearing from Peter again.

Well, I'm beginning to develop a woman's intuition.

Julie, do you think the world is ready for another woman

with intuition?

According to my intuition, definitely yes.

[Laughter]

But you were right, dad.

Love does take time.

And when the time comes, Vicki, you've got a friend.

A very special friend and a very special father.

You, let's go.

Well, where have you guys been?

We're getting ready to set out to Saint bernards.

We have been in jail, thanks to Isaac.

Jail?

I see the way you're dressed is ridiculous.

But I didn't think it was a crime.

What happened?

I don't care to discuss it.

Ok, then

do you realize what you have done, Isaac?

You have ruined my entire trip to Hong Kong.

I didn't even get a chance to eat any Chinese food.

Didn't we have a good meal in jail?

That was egg foo young.

Wasn't it?

Gopher.

Gopher, wait a second, man.

Mr. Dane.

You!

Oh, [laughs], listen.

I'm terribly sorry you two spent time in jail.

But, believe me, I did it for your own safety.

I'm also gonna recommend that the government

commend you for your efforts.

She's the good guy.

I knew that.

Mr. Dane, you probably didn't know this,

but we were tailing you all over Hong Kong.

Really?

You know, I have some photographs

I think will interest you.

There you are tailing me on canton road.

There, again, at aberdeen.

And there on battery street.

How did you take these?

[Drum roll]

Say cheese.

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[Camera shutter]

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