Original subtitles

[Theme - Jack Jones, "love boat theme"]

Theme song: Love, exciting and new.

Come aboard.

We're expecting you.

And love, life's sweetest reward.

Let it flow.

It floats back to you.

The love boat, soon we'll be making another run.

The love boat promises something for everyone.

Set a course for adventure, your mind on a new romance.

And love won't hurt anymore.

It's an open smile on a friendly shore.

It's love.

Welcome aboard, it's love.

[Music playing]

Adam: Welcome.

Oh. Hi.

Together: Hi.

I'm Don Hefner.

And this is my fiance, milicent Finley.

I'm Isaac Washington, chief barman.

I'm Adam bricker, ship's doctor,

in case you see too much of Isaac Washington, chief barman.

[Laughs]

I assume that promenade 100 is one of your best suites

on the ship?

Oh, yes, ma'am.

Well, I certainly hope so.

Jenny: Don Hefner is unfair.

Don Hefner is unfair.

Don Hefner is unfair.

Don Hefner is unfair.

Don Hefner is unfair.

Don Hefner is unfair.

Jenny.

I told you it was over between us.

Yeah.

And I told you I would follow you to the ends of the earth.

But we're on the water now.

So please stop bothering us.

And if you don't, we're gonna toss you overboard and throw

you to the barracudas.

Well, it takes one to know one.

Ha.

[Laughs]

Are you gonna let her talk about me like that?

Don't listen to her.

She's crazy.

Come on, milicent.

Uh, pardon my curiosity, but just what

is Mr. Hefner unfair about?

Love.

I'm crazy about him.

You see, we had a fight.

And then he went and got engaged to miss

park Avenue on the rebound.

Together: Oh.

But I'll never give up.

Never.

I'd warn Julie not to seat the three of them

at the same table.

How 'bout not the same ship?

Inspector manfred benusse, it's nice to see you again.

Believe me, the pleasure is all mine, captain stubing.

I'm sure you remember my secretary.

Liliane prendergast.

Of course.

Welcome to the pacific Princess.

You remember my daughter, Vicki?

- Of course. - Nice to see you.

How are you?

Let me see what cabins you're in.

443 and 444 on the aloha deck.

You're absolutely right.

Excellent.

And now, as a detective, and more

importantly as a former passenger,

I'm sure I can find the way.

Come, prendergast.

Oh.

For me?

Sorry, vick.

These are for the contessa Juliana [inaudible]..

Has she boarded?

Yes, sir, she got on early to avoid the press

and publicity and stuff.

Gopher, I want you to deliver these flowers

personally as soon as we sail.

Ok, sir.

And Vicki, tell to Julie that I want the contessa to receive

our finest vip treatment.

Yes, sir.

Oh, and champagne?

With my compliments.

And make sure she's invited to have dinner at my table

tonight.

Oh, good, I'm really looking forward to meeting her.

So am I.

Ooh, your tie's crooked.

Can't have that.

I want you to look good for grandpa, right?

Enjoy your cruise.

Julie McCoy.

I can't believe it.

Jan Maddox.

Oh.

You look great.

Oh, hello.

It's not jan Maddox anymore.

It's, uh, jan Wilson.

A lot has happened since high school.

I want you to say hello to my son Richie.

A lot has happened since high school.

Hi, Richie, I'm Julie.

Hi.

Mommy, where's grandpa?

Grandpa's a soldier in the army.

I know.

Well, he should be here any minute.

And he's gonna be so proud when he sees what a good

looking grandson he's got.

Dad's been stationed overseas, so this

is gonna be the first time he's seen Richie.

And we're hoping we pass inspection, right?

Oh, I'm sure you will.

Oh, there's your dad.

- Jan. - Oh, my goodness.

Oh, baby.

Oh.

- You look great. - Oh, so do you.

I can't believe it.

Oh, my goodness.

Uh-oh.

By the looks of that Maddox jaw, this must be my grandson.

Yes, sir. [Laughs]

At ease, soldier.

Give your granddaddy a big hug.

Oh, daddy, you remember Julie McCoy from high school.

Well, of course. How are you?

Good to see you again, sir.

Where's that husband of yours, jan?

Oh, daddy, Michael couldn't make it.

He was called away on business at the last minute.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I was really looking forward to meeting him.

Well, anyway, I'll get to meet one of the men

in my little girl's life.

What do you say, Richie, you want to help

your granddaddy store his gear?

We'll see you later.

[Phone ringing]

Well, they certainly hit it off right away.

They sure did.

Julie: I guess you passed inspection.

Oh, well, at least one of us did.

Excuse me, I'm [clears throat] Not usually this aggressive.

Um, but would you care to have a drink with me later?

Thanks, but i'm afraid I can't.

Now, I know why i'm not usually aggressive.

Well, when I figure out a subtler approach,

maybe I'll get a second chance.

Enjoy your cruise.

Well, jan, too bad your wedding ring isn't made out of neon.

Too bad it's not even mine.

Hmm?

Can you keep a secret, Julie?

Yeah.

The reason that I am so worried about passing

dad's inspection is because I don't have a husband.

I never had one.

[Ship horn blows]

[Crowd chatter]

[Knocking]

Contessa [inaudible]?

Delivery.

[Ominous music]

[Shouts]

[Upbeat music]

I can just picture it, milicent.

You and I on a ranch, raising horses and dogs.

Is that what you really want to do, darling?

Well, of course, don't you?

You said, you did.

Of course I do, darling.

Whatever you want.

We can talk more about it after we're married.

Oh, no.

Jenny, will you take that stupid thing off.

Do you really want me to?

Yes.

Don.

What?

Oh, uh, I'm just glad the sign's off, dear.

Well, I'm gonna take you off too, dear.

Bye.

[Suspenseful music]

Ok, sir.

I came in.

I opened that closet door.

And that thing jumped out at me.

Gopher.

Hmm.

Gopher!

[Gasps]

It's just clothes.

You sure there's not a body in there somewhere

wearing all those clothes, sir?

This place looks like a cyclone hit it.

Is the contessa all right?

I don't know.

I didn't even see her.

Locked the state room.

No one comes in here without my authorization.

Yes, sir.

And gopher, I want you to find the contessa

if you have to search every inch of this ship.

Yes, sir.

Are you quite comfortable, manfred?

Perfectly.

I don't want you to become anxious, prendergast,

but I've ordered a glass of port.

I don't want you to become anxious, manfred,

but the only port you're going to see

is the one this ship sails into.

I've changed the order to mineral water instead.

I don't like mineral water.

You'll learn.

I understand it's an acquired taste.

Prendergast, this is the first day of my retirement.

Please allow me to enjoy it.

Well that's really good.

Richie, do you remember what mommy told you to do?

Oh, yeah.

Pretend I have a daddy.

Right, we'll just pretend it's our little game, ok?

Jan, is it ok if I steal my grandson for a little while?

It sure is.

Come on, Richie.

Isaac has a couple of ice cream sodas all ready for us.

Oh, boy.

Mount up, soldier.

We will return at 1300 hours.

Hi again.

Hi.

Barry renner.

I remember.

Um, listen, I just wanted to apologize

for coming on so strong before.

Oh, that's all right.

I, uh, couldn't help it.

It's hereditary.

What do you mean hereditary?

All the men in my family are attracted to beautiful women.

Oh, well, thank you.

So what do you say?

Can we have that drink now?

Barry, I really would like to have a drink with you,

but I can't.

Why not?

Oh.

I see why not.

Oh.

Uh.

Look, forgive me, when I saw that you were alone,

I just assumed you were single.

Yeah, well, I am actually.

Oh, it's a long story.

Well, good.

Then I can spend a long time with you listening.

Maybe later.

Um, I'm not ready yet.

Ok.

But, um, when you do get ready, I'd sure love to listen.

All right.

[Music playing]

Hello, Julie.

Oh, hi.

Good evening, Julie.

Do you have room for a couple of hungry soldiers.

I certainly do.

We've reserved table 18, the very best

table in this mess hall, sir.

Dad, why don't you and Richie go on down there,

and I'll be there just in a minute, ok?

Sure. Ready, soldier?

Ready, grandpa.

Ha, well, things seem to be going very well.

Well, keep your fingers crossed, Julie.

With any luck at all, next week my father

will be back in Germany, and he will

never know that his daughter isn't a respectable lady.

Jan, any woman who can raise a terrific boy like Richie

all by herself is a respectable lady, in my book.

How do I get my father to read your book?

Talk to your, dad.

Ok.

Mr. Prendergast, inspector benusse, i'm

sorry to disturb your dinner, but I may need

your professional services.

Then please sit down here.

Thank you.

You would have no way of knowing,

but benusse is retired.

Liliane: He has put himself out to oceangoing pasture.

This may be an emergency.

I would appreciate any assistance you might render.

[Sighs]

Very well, I will do what I can.

Bravo, manfred.

Oh, jan, I can't tell you how much I'm enjoying this cruise.

I just wish Michael could be here too.

Oh, I know, me too.

Well, at least you and Richie finally had a chance to meet.

You know something, Richie?

Meeting you has helped me make a very important decision.

I have decided to retire from the army

in order to move to Tucson and be near my family.

Wow.

That's great, dad, but, uh, why do you want to retire now?

I mean, you're still a young man.

I know.

I'd have to be young to keep up with my grandson.

You would like having your granddaddy live near you,

wouldn't you, Richie?

Yeah.

It's all settled.

You think you could stand having another man around?

Hmm.

I think that's probably just what I need.

[Laughs]

Will you stop staring at us?

Oh, was I staring?

[Gasps] I'm sorry.

I'm just fascinated by watching people eat.

Did you know that you chew every bite exactly 20 times,

very precisely Millie.

Do not call me, Millie.

Oh, ok.

[Laughs]

I can think of a lot of other things I'd rather call you.

How about--

Don: How about leaving us alone, Jenny?

I didn't order that.

Jenny: I did.

[Blows pitch pipe]

Together: (Singing) Happy anniversary to you.

Happy anniversary to you.

Happy anniversary, happy anniversary,

happy anniversary to you.

[Clapping]

Jenny: It's an anniversary cake to commemorate

the very romantic meeting of two people in love.

Thank you.

Milicent: March 11, that's not when we met.

No, that's when we met.

Well, I think that should pass inspection.

Well, I think so.

And I really hate to break this up, boys,

but, Richie, it's way past your bedtime.

Mom, do I have to go to bed now?

I'm not sleepy.

Now, Richie, a good soldier never disobeys

his commanding officer.

Now, you do want to be a good soldier, don't you?

Yes, grandpa.

All right.

Jan: Ah, ah, you forgot to say your prayers.

Oh, yeah.

God bless my mommy, and god bless my grandpa,

and god bless my daddy.

Ok, hop in.

You're a good boy.

And I love you.

Mm, good night, sweetheart.

Good night, mommy.

Good night, grandpa.

Thank you.

Oh, I'm just warming up for all the babysitting

I will be doing when I move to Tucson.

Listen, how would you like to get in a little bit

more practice tonight because I told Julie I would go up

have a drink with her.

Sure, go ahead.

This is one time I won't mind standing guard duty.

Thanks.

Night, night.

All right, soldier, close those peepers.

If you will permit me.

The contessa is approximately 5 feet

4 inches in height, well proportioned.

I should say between 105 and 115 pounds.

She is blonde.

The length is medium, cut, I should

say, just above the shoulder.

The style is casual.

Sir, she never got your dinner invitation.

Careful, purser.

It's essential that nothing here be disturbed.

Manfred: This is strange, a remedy for seasickness

from the ship's pharmacy.

[Suspenseful music]

Yeah, she called just as we sailed.

Did you meet her?

She wasn't here.

I just left it.

Then she was aboard when we sailed.

Yes, and so was the person responsible for this.

Unusual, don't you think, seasickness

at the moment of sailing.

Well, some passengers anticipate the worst.

Perhaps, but this woman is an experienced traveler.

How do you know that?

These garments are from the world's foremost couturiers.

She does not acquire clothing like this through mail order.

What could they be looking for?

Whatever it was, they expected to find it in this dresser.

Ok, how do you know that?

They searched it first.

Powders and the cosmetics spilled on the carpet,

but not on the gowns.

The gowns were thrown to the floor after the cosmetics.

This guy is incredible.

Manfred: An empty Jewel case, this could be our motive.

You're quite right, captain.

This is of the utmost urgency.

You must immediately resume her search for her.

Right away.

Unless--

unless?

We're already too late.

[Swallows]

[Romantic music]

So your father's really gonna move to Tucson?

That's what he said.

Oh.

You know, somehow, I don't quite think that

imaginary is the word he had in mind

to describe his son-in-law.

Well, I wish there was something I could do to help.

Thanks, Julie.

You know, it's really sad.

I used to be such a romantic.

You remember?

Yes.

When Richie's dad told me that he loved me,

I thought that he meant it.

But, obviously, he only meant it as long as there were

no strings attached, and having a child

does mean a lot of strings.

So he just ran out ya, huh?

Yeah.

And I was all alone, but, you know,

that made me even more determined

than ever to have that baby.

So I wouldn't be alone anymore.

Well, I know you don't want to hear this.

But sooner or later, you are gonna have

to tell your father the truth.

I know that, Julie.

It's just that each day it gets harder and harder.

And five years is a lot of days.

Oh.

I've got to go back to work, but you hang in there, ok?

Yeah.

Hi.

Me again.

Hi.

As a, uh, member of the passenger cheer up committee,

I've been instructed to ask you to dance.

Oh, Barry, I don't think so, not right now.

I'm sorry.

Barry: Please?

You wouldn't want me to get fired on my first assignment,

would you?

Ok, if it's to save your job.

Nice, isn't it?

It will be if your former girlfriend doesn't show up.

Oh, she probably gave up.

I think she's seen how much I care for you.

[Crowd chatter]

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

Here we are in the beautiful acapulco lounge

and dancing on the high seas.

So she gave up, did she?

Wouldn't this be a good time to meet our fellow passengers?

Oh, hello there.

How are you tonight?

Fine.

Yeah.

[Gasps]

Oh, now, folks, isn't this a lovely couple.

What's your name?

Don, get rid of her.

How can I get rid of her?

Ooh, looks like a storm's brewing over here.

Jenny, I'm warning you.

Hey, look, Jenny.

Give me that thing. Would you give me that thing?

Now, don't make a scene.

What do you mean, don't make a scene?

I'm trying to stop her. - Shh.

Ooh.

Looks like our happy couple is arguing.

Will this turn into a lover's fight?

If so I should tell you, Millie is a dirty fighter.

And if I were Don, i'd stay out of the clinches.

Don!

Oh, all right, Millie, um, milicent, let's go to bed.

Ah, well, folks.

[Laughs]

That was a good fight, while it lasted.

Gopher.

Hmm.

What are we doing here?

I told you.

A criminal always returns to the scene of his crime.

I repeat.

What are we doing here?

Because when he comes back, we'll be ready.

For what?

To grab him.

Good night.

Trust me.

[Ominous music]

(Whispering) Did you bring a flashlight?

(Whispering) No, I didn't bring a flashlight.

Why don't we just turn on the light.

(Whispering) Because if we turn on the lights,

we can't surprise him.

(Whispering) Gopher, some people

don't like to be surprised.

They get mad, really mad.

Now, this guy ain't playing games.

You can see what he did to the suite.

(Whispering) Yes, I could, if I had a flashlight.

[Door rattles]

(Whispering) Gopher, the door.

[Door rattles]

(Whispering) Go behind the door.

Now! - Hey.

I got him. Get the-- I got him.

Get the lights.

I got him.

[Grunts]

What do you guys think you're doing?

Oh, we're sorry.

We didn't know it was you.

Oh, next time, I'll call ahead.

What's going on in here?

Gopher: Hi, uh.

We were just trying to help with the investigation.

I see.

A word of advice, Dr. Bricker, apricot is not your color.

[Romantic music]

Ever since then it's just been me and Richie.

I'm sorry, Barry.

What for?

Well, I doubt if hearing my tales of woe

is exactly your idea of a great vacation.

Oh, I don't mind hearing your tales of woe.

Besides, I think, uh, what you need right now is a friend.

That's what I wanna be.

Thanks friend.

And, uh, you know, I've heard that a lot of romances

started out as friendship.

Yeah, I've heard the same thing.

Jan?

Dad?

Barry, I'll see you tomorrow, ok?

Um, are you ok.

Yeah I'm fine.

Dad, who's watching Richie?

Vicki's with him.

Jan, I hope that wasn't what it looked like.

Oh, dad, a lot of things aren't what they look like.

What's the matter, honey?

Are you and Michael having problems?

[Laughs]

Hey, you can tell me.

I am your father.

Ok, dad.

It's about time you found out.

There's no Michael Wilson.

What?

I don't have a husband.

I never married Richie's father.

My grandson is illegitimate?

I never told you because I didn't

think you would understand.

I understand this, that you have lied to me for five years,

and that you have disgraced our family.

[Playful music]

Don't worry about Jenny, darling.

Aw, she'll give up pretty soon.

And we'll be rid of her.

No, no, milicent.

Don't say anything.

Let me finish.

Jenny is too aggressive and uncontrollable.

The smartest thing I ever did was break up with her.

She doesn't mean anything to me, since I met you.

Hmm.

My future is with you, milicent, my love.

I adore you.

[Kissing and sighing]

[Somber music]

[Upbeat music]

Jan, I know your dad was upset last night,

but he'll get over it.

After all, you're still his daughter.

That is not the way he thinks.

I'm afraid in his mind, he's already given

me a dishonorable discharge.

Grandpa.

Grandpa, look what I colored.

Uh, not now, Richie.

Come get your son, please.

Would you please sit down?

Let's eat some lunch and talk this thing over.

Sorry, I don't have much of an appetite.

Hey, Richie.

I'd like to see your picture.

Wow.

It's a soldier just like grandpa.

Julie (intercom): Welcome to glamorous acapulco

where the days are warm and carefree,

and the nights are nothing short of magical.

Enjoy your stay in this tropical paradise.

[Crowd chatter]

Captain, what are we doing here?

[Interposing voices]

[Knocking]

Uh, come in.

- Good afternoon. - Good afternoon.

- Good afternoon. - Good afternoon.

Inspector, we have gone over the ship stem to stern,

and there's still no sign of contessa [inaudible]..

I fear as much.

Captain, there's no point in continuing

to search for the victim.

We must turn our attention to the suspect.

How do we begin?

With those we know had opportunity,

and that includes several people in this room.

Prendergast.

Dr. Bricker delivered the seasickness

pills; Mr. Washington, the champagne;

and Mr. Smith, the flower.

Now, wait a minute.

You mean we're suspects?

This is ridiculous.

The contessa's jewels would be an irresistible temptation

to anyone, especially a man burdened

with multiple alimony payments.

Inspector, this is all supposition.

True, but to support this theory,

I submit that there was no evidence of forced entry.

Either the contessa knew her malefactor

and admitted this person willingly,

or this person was able to admit him or herself.

Inspector, I can vouch for every member of my crew.

But can you vouch for yourself, captain?

May I call your attention to the note that

was delivered with the flowers.

It was signed with the initials Ms.

Merrill stubing?

[Suspenseful music]

The possibilities are fascinating.

At least that lets Julie and Vicki off the hook.

On the contrary, Mr. Washington.

Miss McCoy delivered the invitation

to the captain's table.

Well, that puts Vicki in the clear.

Gopher: Nope.

You know what they say, it's always the person

you suspect the least.

[Romantic music]

[Somber music]

Dad, I've got to talk to you.

Whatever you have to say to me, you can put it in a letter.

As soon as this cruise is over, I'm flying back to Germany.

Look, if you disapprove of me, that's fine.

I mean, I can understand that.

But you've got a grandson who's five years old.

Now, he can't understand.

Well, when he's old enough to understand,

you explain it to him.

You wait just a minute.

How can I get through to you?

Richie's in there crying his eyes

out right this minute because he thinks he's done something

to make you angry with him.

Oh, dad, don't blame him for my mistake.

Jan, you aren't the only one that made a mistake.

I thought I had a daughter I could be proud of.

[Knocking]

Come in.

I've got a score to settle with you.

You have made my life miserable on this trip.

I know.

I'm sorry.

That's not enough.

Oh, look, milicent.

I'm in love with Don.

And I tried to get him back.

I mean, you can understand that.

The only thing I understand is that

a little nothing of a person thinks

that she can compete with me.

Don't push too hard.

I just apologized, Millie.

Millie?

Why I oughta scratch your eyes out.

Well, don't try because I don't scratch, I punch.

- Oh, yeah. - Yeah.

Well, we'll see about that.

[Music intensifies]

Oh, oh, so you want a fight, do ya, huh?

Oh, oh, oh, where is she?

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Ow.

Oh, my head.

Oh, my-- let-- let me-- let go.

Let go of me.

Let me go. Get away.

Let me go, I said.

I'm sorry.

Saying you're sorry won't help [inaudible]..

But this will.

[Shouts]

[Paper tearing]

[Screams]

Jenny, are you all right?

Ah!

Jenny, Jenny.

Ah.

[Romantic music]

Vicki (intercom): We are now leaving the port of acapulco.

We hope you enjoyed your stay.

As we sail back home, remember to join

us on the starlight deck later for dancing under the stars.

[Phone ringing]

Julie.

Hmm.

Were you able to get me that airplane reservation I wanted?

Yes, sir.

There it is.

Hmm.

Thank you very much.

Colonel Maddox.

I know this is none of my business, but jan's my friend.

And, well, it hasn't been easy for her raising Richie

all by herself.

That was her choice.

Not exactly.

Richie's father ran out on her as soon as he

found out she was pregnant.

That's regrettable.

Sir, I was hoping you wouldn't run out on her too.

Miss McCoy, let me tell you something.

Where I come from, the most important quality in a person

is honor.

I expect that of my soldiers.

I expect no less than that from my daughter.

[Somber music]

[Door slides open]

Good evening, captain.

Good evening.

Any progress, inspector?

I regret to report I'm unable to find an explanation of what

happened in that stateroom.

[Door slides closed]

The missing jewelry would indicate robbery.

But the condition of the cabin would

indicate a crime of passion.

Was the ransacking the result of a frantic search,

or was it made to look that way, and, in fact, patiently planned

and carefully executed?

Are we dealing with greed or passion?

A thief, a disgruntled suitor, or a madman?

I'm afraid I can't answer any of those questions, inspector.

As you can see, I've only succeeded

in raising more questions.

I'm afraid you'll have to look to the authorities

for the answers.

Manfred, what are you saying?

I'm saying that I have failed.

Inspector benusse, you've never failed.

Liliane: I never thought I'd live to see this day.

First retirement, now defeat, what's left?

What indeed?

[Jazz music]

Milicent, milicent, wait.

Milicent, you've got to let me apologize to you.

For what?

For going to the aid of your former girlfriend

instead of your fiance?

She seemed to be hurt.

She seemed to be hurt?

I was practically an outpatient.

Well, it's all over now.

No, it isn't.

I just got started.

We're engaged, aren't we?

Yes.

Then I don't want you to ever think of that girl again.

And that goes for your horses and dogs too.

My horses and dogs?

I like parties, clothes, beauty parlors,

and looking pretty.

If you think i'm going to go live

on some ranch in a pair of jeans and vegetate,

you've got another thing coming.

But I thought you wanted to live that kind of life with me.

No.

That's the kind of life you wanted me to live with you.

So if you want me, we do it my way.

Manfred, you must reconsider your decision

and resume this investigation.

My mind is made up.

Perhaps, in your attention to detail,

you have failed to see something in the picture.

I have not failed to see the picture, prendergast.

I have failed to expose it.

I don't understand.

The contessa is a fiction and the crime a charade.

Manfred, who would do such a thing?

You, liliane prendergast.

I submit that in disguise, you boarded the ship early.

You ordered the seasick pills to establish

your presence in the stateroom.

And after the good doctor delivered that remedy,

you ransacked the suite.

Oh, really, manfred.

[Melancholy music]

The use of cosmetics I detected was to replace one

disguise with another and leave the ship as a well-wisher,

only to reboard still later in my company.

Why would I do a thing like that?

I suspect my retirement is at the root of it.

Is it not?

Your retirement, a man in the very prime of his life,

with a wealth of experience and an international reputation,

simply decides to retire.

That is the crime.

You knew I would never retire with a case unsolved.

So you tried to create one that was not solvable.

Even with my remarkable gifts, I cannot find what never existed.

Oh, manfred, if you could have seen yourself.

You came alive.

You created a very fascinating mystery woman, prendergast.

I could've spent the rest of my days looking for her.

Or you could have found her years ago.

She's been beside you all along.

You'll have to excuse me.

I'm about to be indisposed.

Remember, if you need anything,

i'm, uh, right down the hall.

Thanks, but I think I just need

to be alone for a little bit.

Are you sure you're all right?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Good night.

Thank you.

[Crying]

What's the matter, mommy?

Nothing's wrong, Richie.

Are you crying because of grandpa?

Mommy's not crying.

Mommy's got something in her eye.

Why don't you go get back in bed,

and I'll come kiss you good night in just a minute, ok?

Ok, mommy.

[Romantic music]

Hi.

Oh, hi.

Turn around.

Oh, I'd rather not.

Brought something for you.

What?

This.

[Laughs]

The best thing in the world for a shiner.

Thanks.

Donny, you were right about me.

I am too aggressive and too uncontrollable.

And those are your good points.

I love you, Jenny.

I guess I always have.

But what about milicent?

She fought for you, you know?

Knowing milicent, she just fought for herself.

Ouch.

Oh.

Come here.

Let me take care of that.

Ah.

[Laughter]

Better?

Yeah.

Oh, my lips were badly bruised too.

Miss prendergast came to my office

and explained everything.

I was both shocked and relieved.

Well, captain, at least we have

accounted for the contessa.

Have we, inspector?

Quite right, captain.

If you'll excuse me.

Good evening.

May I say how lovely you look in that gown.

Please, manfred, you've made your point.

No, my dear, it is you who made the point.

You cannot turn an old bloodhound into a lap dog.

Talk of my retirement was premature.

How I wish you'd realized that earlier.

There's a great deal I failed to realize.

I will consider continuing, but only

if you continue to assist me.

Please, manfred.

I'm prepared to offer you a contract.

I don't think that it would work at this point.

Prendergast, i'm asking you to marry me.

Oh, manfred.

[Knocking]

Come in.

Richie, what are you doing here?

You're a mean old man, and I don't like you.

Richie.

Mom and I were happy before you came,

but you just make her cry.

Richie.

Thank god, you're in here.

Do you know that you had mommy scared to death?

I'm very sorry for the inconvenience.

Come on. Let's go back.

Mommy'll tuck you in.

Jan?

Yes.

Would it be all right if his granddaddy tucked him in.

[Sighs]

What for?

You can say goodbye in the morning.

Jan, you know, I have always had this certain picture

of what makes a good family.

Watching you two, I realize that what makes it good is love.

If it isn't too late, you and Richie are one

family I'd like to be part of.

You always have been, dad.

Come here, you two.

[Indistinct chatting]

[Laughter]

Oh.

Well, looks like the picketing paid off, Jenny.

We're going to have some great memories of this cruise.

Mm-hmm, oh, yeah, and a, uh, souvenir too.

Together: Ooh.

Oh, it was work.

[Laughs]

It sure has been good seeing you again.

Well, it's nice to see all Maddox's together again.

It's nice to be back together again.

Well, it's time to head out.

Are you ready, soldier?

Ready, grandpa.

Hup, two, three.

[Laughter]

I guess I don't have to call you jan Wilson anymore.

Nope.

You know, uh, if you do ever decide

to change your last name, I've got a good idea

of what you can change it to.

Oh, you do, huh?

Bye Julie.

Bye.

Bye.

Inspector, having you aboard this cruise

has been anything but dull.

Ha, I trust your ship is back to normal.

Oh, yes, everything is back to normal.

And we hope both of you will join us for our cruise

next year.

You're very kind.

Oh, inspector, you can't leave without telling us

how you solved it.

Yeah, I'd like to hear that myself.

Well, at the meeting in captain stubing's office,

I named miss McCoy as the person who delivered

the dinner invitation.

But she did deliver it.

Yes, but I believe that's the function of the ship steward.

The only other person in a position to know that,

would be someone who concealed herself in the suite

and saw her do it.

Liliane: I'm afraid i'm a very clumsy criminal.

Can you forgive me for all the trouble I've caused?

I think it was very romantic, and I

would have done the same thing.

Between you and me, it was the only way to get his attention.

And so you did, my dear.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, using my extraordinary powers

of deduction, I would say that this cruise has now come

to a very happy conclusion.

[Suspenseful music]

[Theme music]

[CBS logo music]