Original subtitles

Theme song: Love, exciting and new.

Come aboard.

We're expecting you.

And love, life's sweetest reward, ; Let it flow.

It floats back to you.

The love boat, soon we'll be making another run.

The love boat promises something for everyone.

Set a course for adventure, your mind on a new romance.

And love won't hurt anymore.

It's an open smile on a friendly shore.

It's love.

Welcome aboard.

It's love.

Isaac.

Herb, how you doing?

Anita? - Isaac.

Welcome aboard.

Herb, you Dr. Adams already.

Oh, yeah.

We've met.

Herb is my insurance agent.

Herb and Anita hold the record for the longest

marriage of all my friends.

They've been married for over 25 years.

Hey, congratulations.

I was married for 10 years, but to five different women.

Well, herb and I have always been enough for each other.

Haven't we, herb?

Oh, that's right, dear.

Herb looks but never touches.

Anita never did understand my mourning neck exercises.

And if herb ever does touch, his neck is gonna resemble

a Turkey on Thanksgiving day.

Sweetheart, i'm going to the cabin.

Mwah. See you later, Isaac.

- Ok. - Doctor.

Bye.

Boy, herb, she watches you like a hawk.

Yeah, she does.

Let me tell you something, though, Isaac.

After 25 years of marriage, this is gonna be it.

This is gonna be what?

On this cruise--

[chuckling]

--I'm gonna have my first affair.

Oh, your wife doesn't seem like the kind

of woman who'll stand by while you have an affair.

Oh, well, let me tell you both something.

Not only is she gonna let me have an affair.

She's gonna demand it.

Bill, Jill.

Hey.

Hey, it's good to see you.

How are you?

Well, I'm fine, Jack.

Just fine.

Europe's certainly been good to you.

You look terrific, as usual.

Thank you.

Here's the one who looks terrific.

Oh, Jill, you get younger and more beautiful every time

I see you.

Who says honesty is the best policy?

Oh, wait a minute.

This vision can't be Leslie, can it?

Well, what happened?

Last time I saw you, you were about this high,

you were standing in a wading room

in the middle of the backyard.

Well, Jack, I don't go wading anymore.

Now I just dive right in.

I think we'd better go find those cabins.

Yeah, they're just over there.

Julie?

Yes?

Has a miss Deanna Ellis boarded yet?

Let me see.

No, sir.

Not yet.

Good.

I just this minute received information

that she was gonna be sailing with us on this cruise.

Oh.

Well, I'll check at the pursers office.

Oh, thank you, honey.

Is miss Ellis someone important?

No, she's just another passenger.

But her uncle is a director of the line.

He's very important.

Ah.

Should we give her special treatment?

No.

No, I want her to get the same treatment

as every other passenger.

But I want her to get that same treatment

faster, better, and more often.

Yes, sir.

Are you the captain of the ship?

Yes, I'm captain merrill stubing.

May I help you?

I'm Deanna Ellis.

How do you do?

It's a pleasure to meet the niece of Mr. Worthington Ellis.

Not only his niece, captain, but his only niece.

And I'm sure you understand my uncle likes to see me spoiled.

We like to think we spoil every passenger.

Oh, well, I'm not every passenger.

And I hope you keep that in mind.

Of course.

Well, if you should need anything,

just ask miss McCoy, our cruise director.

Oh, actually, miss McCoy, there's something

I need this very moment.

And this is it.

A handsome officer to show me around the ship.

I hope gopher's wearing a shark repellent.

[Horn blows]

Announcer: Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.

Come join our early bird exercise class.

It's a great way to start the day.

And then enjoy our delicious champagne brunch

in the coral dining room.

Look, I'm as unhappy about this as you are, Ken.

But you fall right in the middle of a high risk group.

And my executive board won't let me insure you.

Yeah, i'm-- I'm very sorry.

We'll talk more about it when I get back into town.

Yeah.

Honey, you promised you'd forget business on this cruise.

Oh, I'm sorry, honey.

I should've made that call before I left,

but when I have to turn somebody down,

I just keep putting it off.

Why do you have to turn him down?

Oh, poor guy falls right in the danger zone,

according to the home office's new research.

I'm-- I'm sorry.

No more shop talking.

What's the new research about?

Oh, just, you know, reams and reams

of information about the marriage and health

risk and sexual tension.

Sexual tension?

Yeah, yeah.

According to research, a man who's been married for 20 years

or more and hasn't had at least one affair

stands an 80% higher chance of having a heart attack.

Than a man whose strayed.

You mean, a husband is a health

risk because he's been faithful to his wife for many years?

Yeah, I'm afraid so.

That's poor Ken.

Yes, poor Ken.

Ouch.

Isaac, may I have a strawberry daiquiri for miss Ellis,

please?

Coming right up.

Do you think the foreign legion takes women?

What's wrong?

What's wrong is our beloved niece of the director

of the cruise line.

Who?

Oh.

First she wants this, then, she wants that.

Then that isn't good enough for her, so she wants this again.

She's driving me crazy!

This is just a guess, but I get the feeling you don't get

along too well with miss Ellis.

She's such a pain, nobody could get along with her.

Oh, gopher!

Well, there's somebody who seems

to be getting along with her.

Why don't you come sit by me?

Gee, I would really like to do that, miss Ellis,

but I'm on duty.

I like a man who's on duty.

Well, maybe I'll just sit for a minute.

You know, gopher, I really think you're cute.

Maybe I'll sit for two minutes.

In fact, you're the most fascinating

man I've met in a long time.

I can sit for an hour, but that's it.

Hello.

Close your eyes.

Ok.

Oh!

Now can you see I've outgrown the wading pool?

Yes, you certainly have.

Unless they're doing things in wading pools

haven't heard about.

Well, I was 11 years old last time I saw you.

Well, you've aged well.

Mom and dad said you got a divorce.

Yes, afraid so.

So I guess you're pretty turned off to marriage.

No, not really.

Had a bad oyster once, but I still order them.

Oh, I'd like to get married some day,

if the right man comes along.

Well, I hope you find him.

Well, I hope you find somebody.

I thought that Jack'd be surrounded

by all the beautiful girls on the ship by now.

Oh, well, I am sitting with a beautiful girl.

Thank you.

We were just talking about love and marriage.

Now, what would you know about love and marriage at your age?

Well, I have been watching you and mom all these years.

Oh.

Well, we can't argue with that.

You see?

She not only knows about marriage.

Bill.

She also knows how to get around you.

You better believe it.

You mean Anita's going to insist that you have an affair?

Sure.

How?

Well, I can't tell you now, but--

hi there.

I can tell you this.

I've decided that she's the one that Anita's gonna insist

that I have the affair with.

There you go, sweetheart.

Herb, in our 25 years of marriage, you've been faithful,

haven't you?

Oh, you know I have.

Don't you?

Of course I do.

And I love you so much.

But those insurance statistics you told me about really

have me worried.

Forget about the insurance statistics.

Let's go for a swim.

No!

I don't want you dropping dead in the pool.

I've never felt better in my life.

But you haven't had an affair in all these years.

And the sexual tension that's building up in you

will lead to a heart attack.

I'm not sexually tense!

All right, maybe I live with a little tension.

Herb, for the sake of our marriage

and for your own long life, you have got to have an affair.

I will not have an affair.

I'm gonna go swimming, and I'll be back in a little while.

Then will you have an affair?

Oh.

Thank you.

Well, miss Ellis, I hope you're enjoying your cruise.

No, captain.

I'm not enjoying my cruise at all.

You're not?

What's the matter?

Julie, I assigned you to make sure that miss Ellis enjoy

every minute of her cruise.

Well, sir, i'm doing the best I can.

Well, what can we do that we haven't done?

The thing you can do, captain, that you haven't done

is let my little pirate king here have some time off

so he can be with me.

She calls me her little pirate king because I kind of stole

her heart on the high seas.

Aw, you little rascal, you.

Captain, with your permission, I'd like gopher to take

me to the acapulco lounge.

Of course, right after dinner.

Oh, but I wanna go now.

Well, I'm sure that now will be all right.

But we're having fettuccine!

Please, excuse us.

Thank you, captain.

I'm sure my uncle will be very pleased to hear that i'm

having such a good time.

Thank you.

You know, I invited Jack on this cruise to talk business,

and I haven't seen him all day.

Here they come, darling.

I hope we haven't held you up.

Leslie, where have you been?

You know I like to eat dinner on time.

It's all my fault, daddy.

I insisted Jack give me another chance at backgammon.

He's terrific.

I'm sorry, bill.

You have a very persuasive daughter.

It runs in the family.

Well, I suppose there is some truth to that.

Well, sit down.

Let's have our supper.

Oh, we just came to tell you we're not having dinner.

We'd rather go dancing.

Uh, bill--

come on, Jack.

I hope you don't mind.

We'll see you later.

I don't believe this.

There he goes again, running off with Leslie.

Looks to me like Leslie keeps running off with him.

Yeah.

You've hardly even touched your scallops.

Herb, I don't understand you.

You're worried about me not eating my scallops

and not worried about me becoming a widow?

You're not gonna become a widow.

I'm in perfect health.

I'm not gonna die of sexual tension.

Herb, do you realize that you're

sitting right in the teeth of the high risk group?

Well, I'm not gonna pick up some dumb floozy just

to save my life.

It doesn't have to be some dumb floozy.

I'll find you some smart floozy.

I can't believe you.

You really want to have an affair.

Yes, yes, yes!

Well, all right.

If you insist.

I'll-- I'll have an affair.

Herb, you have just made me the happiest woman

in the world.

God, I love you.

I just can't deny you a thing.

Gopher.

Sir.

How's miss Ellis?

Ah, she went to put on more lipstick, sir.

When she's around me, she licks her lips a lot.

Yes, that's exactly why I came over here to talk to you,

gopher.

So I put Julie in charge of seeing

that miss Ellis enjoyed her cruise,

but she seems to be so taken with you.

I'm assigning you to the job.

I know my duty, sir.

Good.

Just see to it she has no complaints.

You look even more gorgeous than you

did the last time I saw you.

Thank you.

Let's dance.

Um, we can dance later.

Let's take a walk out on deck.

We can walk later.

Let's dance now.

It's a beautiful night outside.

Let's walk.

I'd really rather dance, gopher.

Well, we can always walk later.

Leslie, honey, I know you've-- you've got a lot of energy,

but Jack's my age, and you are exhausting him.

He doesn't look tired to me.

I think he has as much energy as I do.

And I'd like to conserve some of it

for his new job, which I'd like to talk to him about, if you'd

stop monopolizing all his time.

I'm sorry, daddy.

I didn't mean to interfere with business.

It's just that we were having so much fun.

Well, I think you should find someone

your own age to have fun with.

They're all so young and silly,

and Jack's so worldly and mature.

You know, Jack, maybe you shouldn't be spending

so much time with Leslie.

Well, I thought of that.

I mean, she's young.

She's not used to a man as sophisticated as you are.

Joan, I'm surprised at you.

I think of Leslie as the daughter

of my two best friends.

However, she's not without a certain amount

of sophistication.

And she has her mother's beauty and charm.

May I cut in?

I mean, after all, a girl can only dance with her father

for so long.

I wanna go out on the promenade deck.

[Whispering]

There they go again.

Herb, look.

How about having an affair with her?

Too short.

Herb, we are talking about life and death, not basketball.

This is my affair.

I'm used to you.

Find me something in a 5'5.

That woman over there could be 5'5.

I'll go ask her to stand up.

Look, no, Anita.

Why don't we just call the whole thing off, huh?

Herb, you promised.

Uh, you know, if-- if I have to go through with this,

she might be ok.

Great.

Why don't you go over and ask her to dance?

Aw, come on.

Herb, you have been faithful for 25 years.

Do you wanna be buried at sea?

Well, if you insist.

Doc, did you see that?

That's the lady herb said he wanted to have the affair with.

Are you kidding?

His wife will kill him.

Hi, doc.

Hi.

Isaac, would you tell herb I'm going to our cabin,

and that he can keep dancing as long as he wants?

Isn't she pretty?

We picked out the best one.

Do you still think Anita's gonna him?

I guess they just don't make wives the way they used to.

[Humming]

Oh, herb, darling, you look healthier already.

Relax, Anita.

Nothing happened.

Of course, I'm not the sort of guy

that breaks down a girl's door.

The gentleman prefers a much more

gradual unhurried approach.

When, then?

Tomorrow night.

Oh, good.

That'll give me time to pick out a little thank you present.

You're gonna buy her a little thank you present?

Well, of course.

What do you think she'd like?

Well, how should I know?

I mean, I'm just supposed to have an affair with her,

not get intimate.

Herb, she's saving your life.

I wanna give her something.

After all, I'm giving her my magnificent body.

I hate to tell you this, herb, but with your body,

we also have to give gifts.

You know, if you're gonna be out shopping,

I think she's probably about an 8, maybe a 10 on top.

Leslie: It's beautiful, isn't it?

Yes, it is.

Now aren't you glad I suggested we stop dancing

and come out here?

Mm-hm.

I'm a little embarrassed of what your mother

and father might think.

What's there to be embarrassed about?

Well, it looks like we're taking a walk in the moonlight.

Well, there's the moon.

And they're right about that.

Yeah, you know what I mean.

Most people connect moonlight with romance.

Do they?

Mm-hm.

Aren't you glad I no longer wear braces?

Hm?

There would have been sparks.

I think there were, anyway.

Jack, I love you.

Leslie, apart from the obvious things,

we practically just met.

No, we haven't.

I've known you all my life.

It's really not right.

Why?

Well, because I'm a friend of your parents.

You're also a friend of mine.

It's definitely all right with me.

Well, good might.

Wouldn't you like to come in for a night cap?

I don't think so.

But I'd like you to come in for a night cap.

I don't want a night cap.

I'm sure my uncle would like you to come in for a night cap.

Well, uncle knows best.

Why don't you get into something more comfortable?

I didn't bring anything with me.

Wouldn't that be more comfortable?

Wait a minute, Deanna.

When the jacket comes off, I like

to be the one to take it off.

Oh, ok.

Ok, but hurry.

Come on, gopher!

Time's a-wasting!

Whoa, wait a minute!

Ok, that's it.

I'm leaving.

Good night!

Gopher, you're driving me crazy. !

I have to have you.

Now, wait a minute.

That's not the way it works.

Why don't you show me how it's done?

That's not what I meant.

Gopher, take me to bed!

Oh, ok.

There.

You're in bed.

Gopher, come back here!

Now, let me get this straight.

When you told Anita that statistic

about faithful husbands having more heart attacks,

she allowed you to have an affair?

Of course, she did.

She didn't wanna lose me.

Is all that stuff true?

Isaac, statistics never lie.

Statisticians lie.

But statistics?

Never.

Good morning, Isaac.

Good morning.

Good morning, darling.

Sweetheart.

How did you sleep?

Oh, like a baby.

And you?

Not too good.

Aw.

Well, how could I, knowing that men all over america

are at death's door while I do nothing about it?

What are you talking about?

I wanna help too.

While Lois is saving your life, i'm

gonna find some faithfully married man

and save him from a heart attack.

You're what?

I'm going to find a happily married man

and make love to him.

For his own good.

No!

No, you-- you can't!

Herb, I wanna do my part.

I don't want you kissing some other guy!

Herb, don't think of it as a kiss.

Think of it as the breath of life.

Well, I'm gonna go look for some worthy candidate.

Wish me luck!

Honey, Anita!

Hold it!

Good morning, mom.

Good morning, darling.

Morning, dad.

Good morning.

Isn't this the most gorgeous day you've ever seen?

Thank you.

Well, Leslie, you're certainly in a good mood this morning.

I should be.

Jack and I had a wonderful time last time.

Well, I'm glad you two are becoming such good friends.

Oh, it's more than just friends, mom.

Wait a minute.

Just what is that supposed to mean?

It means that i'm in love with him.

What?

But Leslie, Jack is a mature man.

You're just a child.

I am not a child, mother.

You are a child until I say you're not a child anymore.

Leslie sue winthrop, you get this straight.

You're not to see Jack again.

Do you understand?

Yes, I understand.

I understand you wanna run my life

the way you run your company. Well, you can't!

Oh.

My daughter and my best friend?

This is a nightmare.

You mean to tell me that she chased you around the cabin--

shh!

--And then tried to attack you?

Right.

How did you finally get outta there?

Threw her on the bed, and I ran for my life.

Good thinking.

That's what I always do when a beautiful woman

is attacking me.

Doc, this is not funny.

It was like she was ordering me to make love to her.

A man has to have some pride.

Hi, guys.

Doc: Oh, hi.

What's going on?

Uh, its grown-up talk.

Oh, you were talking about sex.

Vicki, there are other things that grown-ups talk about,

aside from sex.

Mm-hm, mm-hm.

Oh, I'm sorry.

What was this grown-up talk about?

Sex.

Sex.

Oh, gopher.

Uh-oh.

Excuse us.

Gopher, we all miss Ellis to enjoy her cruise,

so I've given you the day off to be with her.

You should feel flattered.

Miss Ellis requested you specifically.

Sir.

Sir, I got all kinds of work to do on this ship.

I got important ship's business.

I gotta do this--

it can wait, gopher.

Sir--

it can wait.

The captain tells me we'll be docking in puerto vallarta

soon.

So why don't you and I go ashore and find ourselves

a nice secluded beach, where we can be alone?

Right, but I gotta do something first.

So I tell you what.

I'll meet you at the gangway when we dock, all right?

All right, but I hope you show me a better time

than you showed me last night.

What are you gonna do?

Well, I'm gonna do the only thing I can do.

Run away!

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to fabulous Puerta

vallarta, the fun capital of the Mexican riviera.

Glittering beaches, colorful shops, and tantalizing

seafood dishes await you.

Jack, i--

I wanna talk to you.

I'm-- I'm very upset about you and Leslie.

Yeah.

Matter of fact, I wanna talk to you about that myself.

She's got the crazy idea that she's in love with you.

How could you let that happen?

Now, wait a minute, bill.

I didn't let that happen.

In fact, I tried to discourage it.

Well, you didn't do a very good job.

I want you to tell her to stop this nonsense.

Bill, it isn't nonsense.

In fact, I'm starting to think that I'm in love with her too.

Has everybody gone crazy?

What's with you, Jack?

You going through a midlife crisis or something,

having a fling with my daughter?

Well, I don't know anything about mid-life crises,

but I do know it's not a fling.

Well, I don't care what you call it.

Just call it off.

I can't do that.

I'm telling you, Jack, you stay away from my daughter.

Or else.

If I get, you know, the drinks.

Miss McCoy.

Miss Ellis.

Beautiful day, isn't it?

Forget the weather report.

Have you seen purser Smith?

No, I'm sorry, but I haven't.

Oh, I did.

He left through the crew entrance about an hour ago.

He said he was going into town.

Oh, he did, did he?

If I should see him, is there any message

you'd like me to give him?

I'd be happy to convey that message.

Hi there.

Oh, hi, herb.

I'd like you to meet Martin.

Nice to meet you.

Yeah, sure.

Martin was telling me about his new car.

Oh, lovely.

Now, can i-- can I have a word with you?

Excuse me, Martin.

Sure.

Anita, you gotta stop this.

But I'm saving a life.

Oh, herb, he is perfect.

He's been married for 22 years.

He's never been unfaithful to his wife.

And he is a bundle of nerves.

He looks pretty relaxed to me.

Maybe too relaxed.

That's all an act.

The man is in trouble.

I just hope I'm not too late to save him.

I didn't even enjoy myself in town, man.

I kept waiting for Deanna to show up any minute.

Well, I feel for you, buddy.

She sounds like real bad news.

No, she's much worse than bad news.

Bad news is like a plague, or a flood, or something.

She's much worse than that.

Well, how are you gonna keep ducking

her for the rest of the cruise?

I'm not gonna keep ducking her for the rest of the cruise.

I am sick and tired of being pushed around,

and I can't wait to tell her that.

Can't wait to tell me what?

I can't wait to tell you--

how's the family and uncle Worthington?

Funny you should mention my uncle, because I

just wrote him a letter.

I wrote it during the long, long, long time

I waited for you to get back from puerto vallarta.

I think you'd enjoy hearing it.

"Dear uncle, I wish I could tell you

that I'm having a wonderful time on this cruise, but I'm not.

First of all, Dr. Bricker thinks the only treatment

for an ailing female passenger is

to kiss it and make it better.

Julie McCoy, the cruise director,

spends so much time lounging around you'd

think she was one of the passengers."

Now, wait a minute!

Oh, there's more.

"Isaac Washington mixes drinks that are so bad,

you get hung over while you're drinking them."

That's a lie!

They're all lies!

Well, my uncle hasn't doubted me yet.

Of course, you could convince me not to send this,

say, in your cabin, after dinner?

I think that's a fair exchange.

The letter for you after dinner?

She can't do that to you.

She's doing it to us.

Go get her, tiger.

Announcer: All visitor ashore.

We sail in 20 minutes.

Attention, please.

We sail in 20 minutes.

All visitors ashore, please.

So my father was really angry?

Leslie, in all the years I've known your father,

I've never seen him angry in quite that way.

It really upset me.

Because you thought he might fire you?

No, because your dad is my best friend.

And incidentally, I'm the same age as your father.

I dunno.

Maybe he's right.

Maybe it's midlife crisis.

I am too old for you.

Not at all.

You're not selfish like the silly boys I've gone out with.

Jack, I never imagined what love could be until I met you.

Do you love me?

You are a very special girl.

Then you do love me?

Yes, I do.

I wasn't sure before, but I know now.

I love you very much.

And that's why i'm leaving the ship.

What?

Why? I don't understand.

No, listen.

Listen.

Your mother and father are my dearest friends.

The one thing I would never do is come between them and you.

Goodbye.

Jack, please, don't go.

I have to, Leslie.

I'm sorry.

[Knocking on door]

Gopher!

Hi, Deanna.

Are you ready?

'Cause I know I am.

Aren't you gonna be just a little chilly in that?

I'll have you keep me warm.

I gotta get ready.

Ready?

Yeah, I gotta--

I gotta-- I gotta-- oh, I gotta put on Cologne!

I gotta put it behind my ears or something!

Take your time!

What am I gonna do?

She's driving me crazy!

Ugh, I've got a headache.

Gopher, where are you?

Here I am!

Gopher, what's wrong with you?

You're foaming at the mouth!

It's passing.

Domineering women turn me on!

Give me orders.

I'll do anything you say.

Let me outta here!

Read me the letter from your uncle.

Here's the letter!

Just let me outta here!

Let me out!

Well, it does what it says it does.

It gets rid of a headache.

Herb: Anita, are you sure you wanna go through with this?

Yes, herb.

My mind is made up.

I'm going to save Martin's life.

Now, please let me get ready he'll be here any minute.

Anita, there is something I have to tell you.

No, herb.

There's something I have to tell you.

Lately, I've-- I've been feeling useless.

But now you've given my life a purpose.

To save mankind.

But--

[knocking on door]

Martin: Anita, you ready to go?

Coming!

Wait a minute, Anita.

You know those insurance statistics

that I've been quoting you, about sexual tension

among faithful husbands?

Well, I made those up.

You didn't.

Uh-huh.

So many men are having affairs.

I had to try.

But I love you so much that I'd feel terrible

all the rest of my life.

So you wanted me to make you have an affair.

Yeah.

Hern, excuse me.

Oh.

You two ready to go have that drink?

I invited Martin and his wife to join us this evening.

What?

We'll meet you in the bar in a couple of minutes.

We're almost ready.

Great.

I don't get it.

Do you honestly believe that I would be stupid enough to fall

for that story you gave me?

You knew all the time?

Well, I was suspicious.

So I called your office to find out

if your statistics were true.

When they got through laughing, they said no.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Anita, you're the only woman I ever want.

Lois is waiting for me.

Oh, no, she's not.

She's been in on this since yesterday.

Do you think I would leave you alone

with a stranger, especially one who looks like Lois?

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, we hope you've enjoyed

your day in Puerta vallarta.

Our next stop is the port of Los Angeles.

[Chuckling]

And all the time you were chasing

her around your cabin with this foam coming out of your mouth?

Yeah, two capfuls.

I was gonna go for three capfuls,

but then I figured that's too passionate even.

And-- and what did she say when

she saw your mouth foaming?

She said what any normal American girl would say.

She said "your mouth is foaming!"

And then what happened?

And then he said, "read me the letter to your uncle again."

You know, earlier this evening, Mr. Smith, I was worried there

might be something physically wrong with you.

Now I know there's something mentally

wrong with both of you!

Leslie, I'd like you to go to your cabin

and lie down for a while.

I'm sure a little rest will make you feel better.

How can it make me feel better?

Jack will still be gone!

Go to your cabin and lie down for a few minutes, dear.

Please, huh?

No.

Come on!

I never could stand to hear her cry.

It just tears me up inside.

There is one way to stop her crying.

Tell them it's all right for them to see each other.

No!

Leslie is a child, and I'm not gonna let her ruin her life.

When was the last time you took a good look at Leslie?

She's not a child.

She's a grown woman.

I think it's time we let her decide what's right for her.

Well, I don't think it's right for her

to get involved with a man who's more than twice her age.

But Jack is a good man.

It's not as if he's a stranger.

Better a stranger.

I could hate a stranger.

But you can't hate Jack.

[Knocking on door]

I tried.

I really tried.

I can't leave without Leslie.

Bill, you can fire me.

I don't care.

I love Leslie.

And I know I'm never gonna find another woman like her.

So give us a chance!

If it doesn't work, let us find that out for ourselves.

Jack, it's all right.

If that's what Leslie wants, that's what I want for her.

Oh, bill, thanks!

I'm sure I can make her happy.

I know you can make me happy.

Oh.

Hi.

Hi.

I've been looking for you so I could apologize.

It was a very dumb thing to do.

But you drove me to it.

I know.

You do?

The things I did, they were very

spoiled child things to do.

And for what it's worth, I regret that.

So why'd you do them?

Because I wanted you to like me so much.

And I was afraid you wouldn't, so I commanded you to.

That's not the way it works.

I learned that.

You know, Deanna, I really do like you.

You don't have to say that.

I know I don't have to say that, but it's true.

It's just, when you come on to me

like the 65th marine battalion, that was a turn off.

I felt like an outsider, like anybody would do.

You know, I'm not exactly a caveman here,

but I do like to make a few of my own moves, you know?

You got a hair out of place there.

This is one of the moves I like to make.

You think we could start at the beginning?

I think we already have.

Ah, Isaac, doc, goodbye.

Well, I'm glad to see you two are still the longest

married couple I know.

Yeah, you had us worried for a minute.

Well, when you've been married as long as we have,

you learn to live with the little foibles and

idiosyncrasies of your spouse.

All it takes is a little understanding.

Yeah, that and the new sable coat that I promised her.

Goodbye, Isaac. Goodbye, doc.

Bye-bye.

Well, I hope you two enjoyed your trip.

Oh, we sure did.

I met a friend of the family.

Who knows?

Someday soon, we may have a family of our own.

Don't they look happy?

Yes, they really do.

I have to admit it.

At first, it bothered me, the idea of Leslie

going with a man old enough to be her father.

I don't know why.

I married a man old enough to be her father, and I'm very happy.

Well, how can I possibly argue with that kind of logic?

Goodbye, miss Ellis.

Oh, captain, I had a wonderful time on your ship.

Well, I hope you tell your uncle

you had a wonderful time on our ship.

Well, I would, only my uncle isn't speaking to me.

He thinks I'm spoiled.

Then why would he send that telegram saying you

were coming?

Oh, that wasn't to get me special treatment.

That was sent as a warning.

Goodbye.

[Theme music]