Original subtitles

♪♪

♪ Love ♪

♪ exciting and new ♪

♪ come aboard ♪

♪ we're expecting you ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ life's sweetest reward ♪

♪ let it flow ♪

♪ it floats back to you ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ soon will be making another run ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ promises something for everyone ♪

♪ set a course for adventure ♪

♪ your mind on a new romance ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ won't hurt anymore ♪

♪ it's an open smile ♪

♪ on a friendly shore ♪

♪ it's love ♪

♪ welcome aboard, it's l-o-o-o-ove ♪

Attention, passengers.

We have just docked at xingang harbor,

the port of entry

to the heavenly capital Beijing,

known to us as Peking.

♪♪

I don't believe it. Locked up with my own cuffs.

Always a first time, Charlie.

And what you doin', writin' love letters?

Hardly.

I think the lady deserves an explanation

as to why she'll never see me again.

You won't get away with this.

Okay.

Sorry, pal. No choice.

I need the time.

But the steward'll find you

when he comes in to make up the cabin.

Let's see.

I'll leave the key to those cuffs at the airport

at the China airlines ticket counter.

So long, Charlie.

♪♪

Hi.

Do me a favor, will you?

When you see Ms. Stanton, give this to her for me.

-Sure, Mr. Gardner. -Burt! Burt!

Never mind. I'll give it to her myself.

Bye-bye.

Come on. I've got us a private taxicab and a lovely lunch.

I can't wait for you to take me to the great wall.

We're gonna have the best day of our lives.

All right. Come on.

Just have to make a quick stop at the airport,

and then, we're off to Beijing.

♪♪

Doc: It's amazing.

All you see are bicycles and pedestrians,

no cars.

Leslie: Well, that's because citizens

are not allowed to own private cars,

only officials and government workers.

Do you think we could find a bicycle built for two?

[ Laughs ]

♪♪

That's a monument to the people's heroes,

in memory of those who died for the revolution.

Incredible.

I'm actually standing in tiananmen square.

You know, what's even more incredible

is that 1 million people can stand in this square

at the same time.

Now, that's the museum of Chinese history.

And what's that red building

with chairman mao's picture on it?

Leslie: That's the gate of heavenly peace.

In 1949, that's where chairman mao

proclaimed the establishment of

the people's republic of China.

And that very large one?

Ah, the great hall of the people,

which houses the people's congress

and a banquet hall which seats 5,000 people.

That's what I like -- small, intimate dinners.

[ Laughs ]

Uh, that building over there looks newer.

It is. That's chairman mao's memorial hall,

which contains the body of chairman mao

in a crystal coffin.

What a beautiful final resting place.

Oh, Adam, there's so many beautiful things

I can't wait to show you.

You know what i'm looking forward to most?

What?

-Being alone with you. -[ Laughs ]

Adam! Leslie!

Hi.

Uh, Vicki and I were gonna explore the city together,

but then, we realized that

Leslie is practically a native. -Well...

Ooh. Would you mind if we could tag along?

Oh, uh, gee.

No, not at all.

Great!

♪♪

You should've seen the look on Greg's face

when I told him I love gopher.

Poor gopher. He runs now every time he sees me.

I can't wait to take a picture of Greg's face

when I tell him that I'm in love with gopher too.

Better make it a double exposure.

He's so two-faced.

[ Laughs ]

Hey, mister, you trying to ruin my picture?

Glad you're here.

So am I.

I just hope you're still glad

after you hear what I've got to say.

Well, it's about time you told me what's bothering you.

Did you really mean what you said about dear Roberta?

That's it?

All this time, you've been upset about that silly comment?

Hey, it isn't a silly comment.

Well, don't tell me you work for her.

Barbara...[ Sighs ]

I am dear Roberta.

[ Laughs ] You're kidding me.

No, I'm not.

I don't believe this.

What is it about my column that upsets you so much?

Because your idiotic advice ruined my marriage.

-You wrote to me? -No, my husband did.

He wanted a woman's point of view.

You told him to get a divorce, and he did.

What's the matter?

No pearls of wisdom, dear Roberta?

♪♪

Gopher: The tour book sure is right about the ming tombs.

What a great place to take pictures.

♪♪

Isaac: Come on, gopher.

By the time you get up there, the sun'll be down.

Just a minute. Okay.

Isaac, did you know that they call this the sacred way,

and there are 12 pairs of animal statues

and six pairs of human statues on this road

that leads to the ming tomb?

How would I know that?

I've never been here before.

I just...I did it!

They date back to the 15th century,

and they guard the 13 tombs of the ming emperors.

I did it.

Look, I can't hold... ah!

Come on, gopher. We haven't got all day.

Get up there!

Hold it. Hold it. Hold it. Right there. Hold it right there.

That's good. Got it.

Leslie: Sit back and relax.

Next stop -- the great wall.

♪♪

The great wall is over 3,000 miles long.

The Chinese started building it

in the, um, 5th century b.C.,

but they didn't complete it until the 16th century a.D.

Wow. I hope they put in for overtime.

That's the most awesome sight I've ever seen.

Thanks for letting us tag along.

Oh, it's our pleasure.

This is incredible, dad.

We're actually on the great wall.

Look. If we happen to get separated,

let's meet back at the hotel at 5:30.

Fine. But how could we possibly get separated?

Watch this.

Oh. [ Laughs ]

This is unbelievable.

Can you imagine what it would cost

to carpet this place wall-to-wall?

Greg, I have to talk to you, please.

Ni hao!

That's Chinese for, "how ya doin'?"

-Hi. -This is an incredible sight,

isn't it? -So, you came along too, huh?

Gopher: Yeah. Whenever I'm in China, I always visit the great wall.

-Isaac, come take my picture. -Me too.

No, gopher, I want you to stay.

Greg, I've been living a lie.

And I can't keep it a secret any longer.

I think I will be running along.

No, gopher, I want you to stay.

I never told you the real reason

why I came on this cruise.

You see...

I wasn't certain whether I really loved you.

And I thought if we spent some time alone together,

I'd know how I felt.

And now, I'm certain.

I love you, Greg.

And I want us to get married.

Well, you really want to marry me?

Yeah, I really do.

Hey, guy! Congratulations!

You too, Laurie!

Joanne. Sorry.

♪♪

♪♪

Carole: You were right. This is spectacular.

Thank you for bringing me here.

Burt: And to think that this wall was built by hand

over 2,000 years ago.

Just about how long I feel I've loved you.

You know something? If I'd known you way back then,

I'd have had this wall built for you

to keep all the other men away.

You know, I've been traveling for the past year,

trying to see everything I can

and experience everything possible.

Hmm. Have you experienced everything possible?

I thought I had until these last few days.

Carole, there's something that I must tell you.

I know. And I feel the same way.

I don't ever want to be without you.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Leslie: Adam, we could spend a month in the imperial palace

and still not see it all.

The courtyard we're walking through

was once used for imperial ceremonies.

Scores of military officials and their legions

would kneel before the emperor.

This is the ceremonial gate of supreme Harmony,

guarded by these huge, bronze lions.

The ferocious beasts are a symbol of imperial strength.

♪♪

Come on. Let me take you through some of the palaces.

They are filled with collections of artwork and belongings

of the ancient emperors.

♪♪

Well, what'd you think of the imperial palace?

Well, when you told me it had 9,000 rooms,

i didn't think we were gonna walk through all of them.

[ Both laugh ]

I thought it was called "the forbidden city."

Oh, it is.

You see, when the emperor built it in the 15th century,

it was strictly forbidden

for anyone outside of the court or government to enter.

And our captain thinks he runs a tight ship.

[ Chuckles ]

Oh, Adam. Look at this.

Isn't it beautiful?

This is the imperial garden.

People like to stop and rest here

before they go exploring further.

Do you mean there's more?

Of course. 250 acres.

And we still haven't seen the palace of heavenly purity,

the hall of earthly peace,

and the palace of peaceful old age.

The palace of peaceful old age?

By the time we get to that one,

I'll be ready to move right in.

[ Both laugh ]

Are you all right?

You hardly touched your dinner last night.

You haven't had a thing to eat all day.

You know, Adam....

...if you would forget that you're a doctor for just a moment,

you'd realize it's perfectly normal

for a girl to lose her appetite when she's falling in love.

No.

No?

No.

Oh, you see, in China,

it's considered rude to kiss in public.

Oh.

Mm.

♪♪

I don't see anyone around here.

Do you?

♪♪

Vicki: Thanks for taking me to the zoo, dad.

I can't wait to see the pandas.

Merrill: I read there are only 1,000 wild pandas left in the world,

and all live in China.

[ Camera shutters clicking ]

Vicki: You know what he looks like, dad?

An oreo with fur.

Do you have color film in the camera, Isaac?

Isaac: Yeah. What for?

It's a black-and-white animal.

My hat!

[ Laughter ]

♪♪

Hi. I'm sorry I'm late.

Oh, that's okay.

At least I had this beautiful view to look at

while I was waiting.

Yeah.

Oh, did you tell Greg the bad news?

Well, how did he take it?

Well, I told him that I was in love with gopher,

and he started to cry.

I mean, he practically got on his knees

and begged me to marry him.

He did?

Yeah. I told him no,

but he said I was the only girl that he ever loved.

I couldn't turn him down.

You mean you two are getting married?

Yeah.

When?

Tomorrow on the ship.

The captain agreed to perform the ceremony.

Well, congratulations.

Thank you.

Would you tell Greg I said congratulations, too?

Sure.

♪♪

Uh, excuse me a moment, Leslie.

Hello, Ms. Stanton.

Why, hello, doctor.

Enjoying the summer palace?

Yes, very much.

Isn't this one of the most beautiful places in the world?

Oh, if I could only paint.

I'm surprised I haven't seen more of you.

Well, I've been trying to stay out of the way

as much as possible.

Thank you.

I have noticed that you've been putting in

pretty strenuous days.

And nights.

All I'm asking is that you just --

just maybe...

Please stop.

No lecture.

You see this man?

If I died this moment, it will have been worth it.

I just want you to have more of those moments.

I hope you understand what you're doing.

I do understand what I'm doing.

I hope you understand what I'm feeling.

♪♪

♪♪

Whoever named this the temple of heaven

must have known you'd be standing here one day.

That's the hall of prayer for good harvests.

It was built in 1420.

Now, it's entirely of wood.

You know, there's not a nail in it.

Gee. I wonder what they'd get for that in Beverly Hills.

Oh. [ Laughs ]

Oh, I almost forgot.

I have a present for you.

Ooh.

Oh, gee.

No, no.

In China, it's impolite to open a gift in front of its bearer.

Oh, okay. I'll open it later.

Okay.

Thank you.

You know, Leslie, it's funny.

Here I am, falling in love with you,

and I hardly know anything about you.

Okay. Well, what would you like to know?

Well, like, what day you were born,

and how you've spent every minute ever since?

[ Laughs ]

Okay. Well, let's see.

I was born and raised in a little town

just outside of Baltimore, Maryland.

Baltimore?

Yeah.

I went to medical school at Johns Hopkins.

Johns Hopkins?

Yeah.

Did, uh, you know a Dr. Felcher?

Elliott felcher?

Yeah.

Well, sure. Brilliant man.

When I was an intern, I was lucky enough

to assist on a surgical team he worked with.

Do you know him?

Yes.

He's the doctor that gave the anesthesia

that killed my mother.

Oh, Leslie.

Yeah, Adam.

For all I know, you could've been right there.

Leslie --

stay away from me.

Leslie: My darling, Adam,

inside is a qilin, a Chinese symbol of good luck.

I know it works because I was carrying it the day I met you.

All my love. Leslie.

♪♪

Robert: Barbara?

Aren't you gonna hear me out?

What could you possibly say?

Look. I'm sorry your marriage fell apart.

But I can't accept the blame for that.

You ruin people's lives.

I've got bags of mail that say the opposite.

Now, I'm not the cause of your divorce,

only the excuse.

-Are you finished? -Yes, I'm through.

So are we.

♪♪

Carole: Peking was wonderful, Burt,

filled with excitement and love.

Yes, it was. A time to remember.

Driver, stop here, please.

Why are we stopping?

I'll tell you in a moment.

Carole, darling, I must say goodbye.

Goodbye?

-Burt, where are you going? -You have to trust me.

I -- I can't go back to the ship.

But I love you.

Don't leave me!

Burt, don't go.

Burt, please.

You're my life, all the life I have left.

Carole, I love you,

but I can't --

what is it, darling? What's the matter?

What's wrong?

♪♪

Woman: Attention, ladies and gentlemen.

The Pearl of scandinavia will be sailing in 30 minutes.

♪♪

Help, will you, please?

Well, I'll be damned.

Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.

As we bid farewell to the enchanting city

of Beijing and its port city of xingang,

we set a 4-day course for Hong Kong.

♪♪

[ Door opens ]

Ms. Stanton certainly has an iron will.

Can I see her now, doctor?

No, not now. I just gave her a sedative.

She's going to be all right, isn't she?

Well, we're doing the best we can.

Is there anything that I can do?

Yes.

Just make sure she stays calm.

Doctor, what is it?

It's her heart.

I'm afraid any further shock might prove fatal.

♪♪

Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.

At 3:00, you are all welcome to attend

the wedding of joanne Morgan to Greg munford.

The ceremony will be performed by captain stubing

and will take place on the observation deck.

All those wishing to attend are welcome.

Hello, Greg.

Uh, Laurie.

-Yeah, would you, uh... -Oh, sure.

Yeah.

Greg...

I hate losing you,

but I do wish you the very best.

Thank you, Laurie.

And I hope you're not too upset about that dumb joke

joanne and I pulled on you,

telling you that we were both in love with gopher.

Both in love with gopher?

Well, we only did it because we were hurt.

And we wanted to get even with you.

Greg, time to walk the last mile, guy.

But I'd --

would you excuse us, please?

But...

[ Wedding march plays ]

We are here to join this man and this woman

in the holy state of matrimony.

If any of you know any reason

why they should not be thus joined,

speak now or forever hold your peace.

W -- wait a minute.

[ Crowd murmurs ]

Greg?

Look. You lied to me.

And you also lied to Laurie.

Well, you lied to both of us.

Well, I guess one liar in the family is enough.

Isn't that right?

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Laurie, I'm sorry that I deceived you.

See, I got all mixed up.

I didn't really know what I wanted.

And now I know exactly what I want.

That's you, only you.

Can you forgive me?

I do.

Can you save that, "I do," for the ceremony?

♪♪

Go away, Adam.

Are you all right?

It's nothing.

Just a little pain in my side.

Please don't touch me.

Well, you've got a fever.

Let me look at you, Leslie.

Aah!

Aah!

All the signs are there --

no appetite, fever, sharp lower abdominal pain.

I could run some blood tests,

but it looks like appendicitis.

Well, if you were thinking of --

Leslie, it's just a routine operation.

No.

That's what they told my mother.

♪♪

♪♪

Attention, all passengers.

Would Dr. Louise chen please report to the bridge?

Dr. Chen to the bridge immediately, please.

♪♪

I wish we would hurry and get to Hong Kong.

Leslie, there's a good chance

you'll never make it to Hong Kong

if you don't change your mind.

Absolutely not.

I told you, you could operate.

No anesthesia.

And I told you that's impossible.

[ Knock on door ]

Come in.

Adam, I think I have an answer to the problem.

This is Dr. Chen.

She's an acupuncturist.

Well, how do you do, doctor?

How can you help?

Acupuncture has been used for many years

as a method of anesthesia.

Would you be willing to assist me on an appendectomy?

Of course!

Doc: Leslie?

Mm.

[ Exhales sharply ]

Right away.

♪♪

Hi.

Hi.

I know that you're on vacation

and you don't want to be bothered,

but I --

what's on your mind?

Being a bartender is a lot like what you do.

I hope you don't mind, but sometimes,

I quote your column

when my customers ask me for advice.

My column?

I know, no one's supposed to know

that dear Roberta's on board.

And believe me, I haven't told a soul

that you're here.

Go on.

It's not about me.

It's about my aunt Phyllis.

Things weren't going so well in her marriage,

so she wrote to you for advice.

My aunt Phyllis would never forgive me

if she knew I met dear Roberta

and didn't say thank you personally.

What happened with your aunt?

She and my uncle Larry

are celebrating their 35th anniversary.

To them, you're not just dear Roberta.

You're family.

Thank you for telling me that, Isaac.

No, dear Roberta.

Thank you.

♪♪

Thank you.

Ms. Stanton, shouldn't you be --

I won't be long. I promise, captain.

Carole: Hello. May I join you?

The same.

What are you doing here? You should be in bed.

Not without you.

I love you, Burt.

We are unswerving.

No, darling, no.

Burt, please.

Look.

When we get back to Hong Kong tomorrow,

i have a little business I have to do ashore.

So I'm getting off the moment we dock.

You sleep a little later.

Tomorrow night, 9:00, the peninsula hotel bar.

Let's drink to that.

♪♪

Together.

Forever.

♪♪

How do you feel?

Pretty good, considering.

Guess my number wasn't up after all.

You were very brave in that operating room.

It's easy to be brave when you don't feel any pain.

Please thank Dr. Chen for me.

I will.

Thank you too, Adam.

You're a very good doctor.

Thank you.

♪♪

I've been looking for you.

If you're here for round two, I pass.

Just listen.

I heard you out.

Dear Roberta...

I fell in love with a man on a cruise

but scuttled the relationship

when I blamed him for something I was responsible for.

My question is,

after the rotten way I've treated him...

...how do I tell him I love him

and don't want to lose him?

Signed, distressed at sea.

♪♪

Dear distressed at sea,

there is no short answer to your story.

I'm afraid my response might take years.

Now that's the kind of advice I like.

♪♪

On behalf of the entire crew,

I'd like to welcome all of you back to Hong Kong.

We hope you enjoyed your cruise,

and we look forward to having you sail with us

again in the future.

♪♪

Joanne! Listen. We just wanted to say good-bye.

Oh, good luck, you two. Listen.

I -- I hope there's no hard feelings.

No hard feelings.

Oh, good.

In that case, give me a call if you know anyone

that wants to buy a slightly-used wedding dress.

[ Both laugh ]

I'll see you later. -Bye.

Gopher, how can I thank you?

Easy, guy.

Just take joanne back to the ming tombs,

and I'll take Laurie on the honeymoon.

Hi!

Hello.

Thanks for your help, both of you.

Oh, I'm really glad things worked out.

I really feel like cupid.

Me, too.

And don't worry. I've kept your secret.

I got another secret for you.

You?

Ah.

[ Laughs ]

Leslie!

Oh, I can't tell you how happy I am

to see you up and around.

Oh, you look terrific.

We were really worried about you.

Thanks, Vicki.

But I owe it all to Adam...

Aw.

...and, uh, Dr. Chen, of course.

You're forgetting my other assistant.

He never left my side throughout the entire operation.

What is it?

It's the qilin I gave Adam.

In China, it's a good luck piece.

Soon, I'll be putting it to an even bigger test.

If it really does work,

some day, it'll bring us back together again.

Come on, Charlie. Do we have to have these cuffs?

I'm not gonna run away.

Charlie: You did once.

Now, I'm going by the book.

This ain't no traffic violation, Burt.

You did murder a man.

At least put your coat over 'em.

Carole: Burt!

Burt!

I thought you were going to sleep late.

I tried,

but when I stopped dreaming about you,

I woke up.

I love you.

I love you, too.

♪♪

Don't forget -- the peninsula bar, 9:00.

♪♪

♪♪

Oh, I can't believe this trip is over already.

Yeah, it's gonna be a real culture shock

being back in the states.

I know.

I think I've forgotten how to eat with a fork.

-Hi, guys. -Hi!

-Are you ready to go home? -No!

No.

Merrill: It's almost 9:00.

We should be getting to the airport.

Where's Adam?

Julie: At the bar.

Merrill: Excuse me.

It's been some kind of trip for you, Adam.

Yeah.

How's Leslie?

I was with her this afternoon. She's doing fine.

Good. I'm glad.

I'm just thinking about Burt and Carole.

He gets carted off to prison, and she --

Adam, you did all that you could.

Her heart just ran out of beats.

Oh, it's a shame.

She had so much to live for.

I know.

I really thought they were meant to be together forever.

♪♪

Merrill, look.

[ Glasses shatter ]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪