Original subtitles

(Donkey 'nee-haws)

(Lauren) 'Dear Santa,

'I know it's a tiny bit early to be writing you my Christmas list

'but I know how busy you get.

'You see, what I want for Christmas can't be found in a shopping mall

'or made in Santa's workshop.

'What I want for Christmas is for my dad to marry Sophie

'so I can get a new mum.

'Sophie came into my school to teach singing.'

# Do you believe in angels...

'I was scared to perform in the nativity play

'but Sophie's a singing teacher who works with children who get shy.'

# ...fairy tales come true #

(Screaming)

'And that's when Dad fell in love with Sophie.'

Sorry.

'Only trouble was,

'Sophie was already marrying Bradley Finch,

'but she decided to ditch him.'

Bradley...

'Even though he's a really famous flashmobber.'

I'm Bradley Finch.

'So I helped Dad propose to Sophie.'

- Sophie? - oh!

- Will you marry me? - Yes.

Oh, Sophie.

(Screams)

Oh!

I lost the ring.

I've lost the ring!

'Then Sophie got a job in New York

'and they're meant to be getting married there on Christmas Eve

'but she still doesn't have an engagement ring

'so please, Santa,

'help my dad choose the perfect ring for Sophie

'and make my Christmas wish come true.'

- Er... which one? - That one there.

- (Mr Shepherd) That's enormous. - ls it that one?

- What do you think? - It's beautiful.

How much is that?

Er... OK, urn... yeah.

- That's the one? - Yes, please. Thank you.

I wish you'd keep your big mouth shut sometimes.

- Thanks very much indeed. - Thanks a lot.

Let's get out of here before we do any more damage.

- Happy Christmas. - Thanks very much. Bye-bye.

(Mr Shepherd) Let's get some sweets.

- Ow! - I'm so sorry.

- Are you all right? - No, I'm not all right.

I'm on way to enter the flashmob competition, you know.

- Well, I said I'm sorry. - Well, I'll see if I can do my moves.

(Sings two high notes)

Not really. Anyway, just be careful next time.

Come along, Volumnia.

(Static)

(Mr Shepherd) Come on.

- Get ready. - (Mr Shepherd) Come on.

- # Get ready... - (Shepherd) Come on.

- # Get ready... - (Mr Shepherd) Come on.

# Get ready...

See you on the sixth floor.

# Get ready

# Get ready

# Get ready

# Get ready

# Get ready

# Get ready

# Everybody in the mall

# Stop what you're doing

# Put down your bags and clear out the stores...

Santa!

# Santa's little helpers got some work to be doing

# Cos it's time for Christmas shopping

# Hey, we're Christmas shopping

# Yay, we're Christmas shopping

# We are Christmas shopping...

Wow! Look, a flashmob.

# Yay, we're Christmas shopping

# Shopping like we're popping

# And we're shop, shop...

Look, there's Santa, look.

# ...drop, dropping...

Are you here to sign up for the flashmob competition?

- What do you win? - You win a trip to New York

to dance on top of the Empire State Building.

- We're going to New York. - (All) Yeah!

# Never gonna stop, stop...

Look down there. Look at that.

Someone's called security.

Who's responsible? What's going on?

# Yay, there's no stopping us, we are just delirious...

So, what do we do? Do we sign up?

Yeah, if you'd like to sign in there for me.

Gordon Shakespeare, Oakmoor School.

And where does the actual final take place?

In and around the London Eye.

Oh, the London Eye?

# Jingle bells, jingle bells

# Shopping all the way

# Oh, what fun it is to shop

# Till it's time to pay

# Hey, we're Christmas shopping

# Shopping like we're popping

# And we're shop, shop, shopping

# Till we're drop, drop, dropping to the ground #

It's Bradley Finch.

He's a friend of Sophie's. What an idiot.

# Woo, we're Christmas shopping

# Yeah, we're Christmas shopping

# Oh, and then we're plopping

# We're plop, plop, plopping till we drop #

Auntie Pat? Auntie Pat?

You'll not believe what I've just seen.

- I beg your pardon? - Who are you?

My name is Mrs Keen and I'm in charge.

(Scoffs) Yeah, right.

Very good, Auntie Pat. You can come out now.

Could you please tell me your name?

- I'm Mr Poppy. - Yes, Mr Poppy, what do you do here?

I'm the Mr Poppy.

P-O-P-P-Y, Poppy.

Of course!

You're the nephew, aren't you? You're the nephew with the special...

Powers?

Sorry to be personal, but I really don't like the look of your coat.

Could you take your coat off, please?

This is my coat, OK? And this is what I can do with it.

- What is your subject, may I ask? - I can't hear you cos it's over my ears.

You look ridiculous.

I think you should change your name from a K to a M,

cos you should be called Mrs Mean.

I shall see you in assembly, but take that coat off.

I shall see you in assembly.

With the coat off!

# The silent stars go by

# Yet in the dark street shineth

# The everlasting light

# The hopes and fears of all the years

# Are met in thee tonight #

Well, boys and girls, I think it's about time I introduced myself.

My name is Mrs Keen and I am your new headmistress.

Mrs Bevan, your old headmistress,

she's on a Christmas cruise in the middle of the Mediterranean at the moment

and actually she's rather dumped me in it

because this term we're having an Ofsted inspection.

We don't know when the inspector's coming

but he has the power to shut the whole school down forever.

- (All gasp) - (Archie hee-haws)

The only good thing Mrs Bevan did

is provide us with what is called a super teacher.

He's arriving today.

He'll be quite strict but he is going to get us through the inspection

and the one thing he will not expect is a four-legged creature in assembly.

He's part of the St Bernadette's gang.

- No, we don't have gangs. - (Donkey farts)

Get the animal out of assembly.

(Mr Poppy) Mrs Keen?

Mrs Keen, wait.

Archie's got an idea.

Archie, do tell me, what is your idea?

Flashmobs.

We can do flashmobs and save the school.

Flashmobs? What are you talking about?

Yes. I was going to take the class to the Empire State Building

and do a flashmob.

Mr Poppy, flashmobs have got nothing to do with school inspections.

Sorry, but you've just gone on in the assembly hall about super teachers.

You've got a super donkey here. He can dance, he can sing.

I can put a little cape on him if it makes you feel better.

What you like to tell me, what sort of dance does he do?

A highland fling?

He does contemporary, he does urban, he does break-dancing.

Mr Poppy, come with me.

You see what that says? Read it.

(Attempts to read)

You can't read can you?

- You're not at all qualified. - Well, I'm trying.

- You have to go. - What have I actually done that's so bad?

Please don't make this any more difficult. You are expelled.

E-X-P-E-L... Oh, what's the point in spelling it?

I'm very sorry. And the sooner you go the better.

Archie, look after the place for me.

Can you move out of the way?

- I've been expelled. - Have you been naughty?

No, I didn't do anything. She's got nothing on me.

Please don't leave.

If she could even understand in her tiny brain how important the flashmob is.

Think how many millions of people will see us dancing

at the top of the Empire State Building.

No one's gonna close a school down with that much talent.

Can we still do the flashmob?

You're gonna have to try and keep it going with Archie.

Look, I know he's a donkey, guys,

but he's taught me more about teaching than any teacher ever has.

More than this guy, or this guy.

Do you know what?

The only people that I can rely on are you guys.

- See you, guys. - Bye-bye.

Bye.

(Lauren) Hi, Sophie.

Oh, Lauren, I've just arrived at the hotel. It's so exciting.

We're gonna have such a fantastic time here.

- Awesome. - Look, look. Look at the bed.

WOW!

Oh, I wish you were here, Lauren, cos we've got so much to do.

I've designed a few of your dresses.

'Oh!'

Are we still having a winter wonderland wedding?

A winter wonderland!

'I miss you so much.'

I want you to be my mum more than anything.

(Sophie) 'I know. I want to be your mummy too.

'I love you.'

Me too.

We want Poppy! We want Poppy!

What on earth is this?

- We want Poppy! - What are they doing?

- What's Poppy? - I don't know what Poppy is.

I'm so pleased to see you. You've arrived just in time.

The inspector's on his way any minute now.

What are you doing?

Would you please go back into your classrooms?

This is too ridiculous.

We're in a frightful muddle.

There's donkey poo everywhere so do watch out.

And there's a man called Mr Poppy who says he's a teacher but he's not

and it will be a disaster if the inspector sees him.

- Who's this? - This is my daughter, Lauren.

Oh, what's she doing?

Oh, she comes to work with me, I find it quite helpful.

Ah, but you'll have to be in uniform.

There's a lost property box in my... in my study.

It's a bit smelly but could you fit her up?

Now, er... don't take any notice.

We're in total chaos. The children have taken over completely.

No, you're not going in there, you're coming this way.

- Oh... Oh, God! - Oh, dear, I'm so sorry.

Come on!

Hello? Yes, I'm calling you from St Bernadette's School.

There's a donkey here. I wonder if you could come and collect it.

Excuse me. What?

You can't do that. All the children love that donkey.

- That's fine, they can go and visit it. - And the donkey loves them.

Yes, how lovely, but this is not the right place for a donkey.

Psst, guys.

Don't worry, it's me. Have you seen the super teacher?

He's in the head's office.

I've got a plan. Watch this space.

Oh, Lauren, come on, you monkey! Just because all the other children...

Good afternoon... evening.

I'm the government inspector of the schools.

- I need you to get Mr Poppy back. - Mr Poppy?

He's the bestest teacher in the world of the land.

Can you get him reinstated?

Well, it's really a question for Mrs Keen. We could get her in and have a chat about it.

No, I don't think there's any need for that, Mr... what is it?

- Shepherd, Jeremy Shepherd. - German Shep... What?

Jeremy Shepherd.

And I'm Inspector Gadgnet, Gadgneet.

- Gadget? - Yeah, that's it.

I'll call the main office, see if they can't find Mrs Keen,

cos she's really the person...

No, I don't think there's any need for that, Mr Snippet.

Could you tell Mrs Keen I think I've found the man she's looking for.

Ow!

Thank you.

- You know who I think that is. ' POPPY-

Mr Poppy, yeah. Come on, let's get you dressed.

(Mr Shepherd) There's a picture of Mr Poppy.

"The donkey pooed on Mr Poppy's foot today."

This whole school seems to centre around Mr Poppy and the stupid donkey.

Right, er... children, come in.

Sit down.

Er... right, children, because I don't know you and you don't know me,

I'd just like to ask you a few questions.

Could you sit on your seat please? What's your name?

- Joseph. - Thank you, Joseph.

- What's your name? - Bob.

Tell me what the capital of France is, please, Bob?

Er... Malumbia?

Malumbia? I don't think that exists.

Oh, for goodness sake.

- Mr Poppy. - I'm not Mr Poppy.

I'm the new boy, Marmaduke James.

Was just starting at the school, trying to do some learning.

- Just get out. - Oh, come on, it's not fair.

- I'll get Mrs Keen. - (Grunts)

Can you just please just let me...

Right, children...

Hey, come on... Out!

(Children laugh)

All right, it's not funny.

Come on, back to work. Concentrate on what you're doing.

(Mobile ringing)

Um... OK, children, I've got to take this so just keep working.

- Hello? - Hello, Sophie?

What's the matter? A little bit grumpy?

Right, is this urgent, cos I'm in the middle of a class?

'No, I'm just... I'm excited. I'm a little bit nervous.'

The good news is that, by way of a present,

Bradley has offered to put on flashmob at the wedding.

Bradley Finch? He's coming to our wedding?

I'm sorry, Sophie, but is that entirely appropriate,

to have your ex-boyfriend at our wedding?

- Well, he's still my friend. - 'No, thank you. No, thank you.'

The last thing I need is to be taught to dance by your ex-boyfriend. That's not happening.

We've just got to go with the flow, Jeremy.

And believe me, Lauren will love it.

I know you've got to go, I've got to go too.

Oh, OK.

- I love you. - (Mumbles) I love you too.

Huh? What did you say? Cos it sounded like...

(Mimics Mr Shepherd)

I love you.

- (Children giggle) - Yes. Ssh.

- Bye. - Bye.

I'll take that as "I love you too".

Do you know Bradley Finch?

Er... well, I've met him. I wouldn't say I know him.

Can we all get back to our work, please?

We know you have a problem but we know who can help you.

(All) Yeah!

- Mr Poppy, I Suppose? - (All) Yes!

All right, that's enough Mr Poppy.

That's enough about my wedding. Let's just concentrate...

- Come on, follow us. - Yeah, come on.

No!

Come on, Mr Shepherd.

It'll be fun.

All right, all right, come on.

(Squealing)

- I can't believe it. - I know. I'm here!

- In New York. - In New York.

For my...

(Both) Wedding!

Hello.

Miss Ford, there's a bouquet for you here.

Oh, my goodness. Oh, he's so sweet.

I was just on the phone to him and he was so grumpy, but look what he did.

"Dear Sophie, love and..."

It's from... from Bradley. It's not from Jeremy.

- So he's here? - No, but he's coming.

- Ah... right. - And he is going to give me a present

of a flashmob.

- A flashmob? - For the wedding.

(Both) It's gonna be the best wedding ever.

Come on.

Ha-ha!

Mr Shepherd.

- We meet again. - Yes, Mr Poppy, we do.

What I need to find out, OK, is are you're gonna help me?

- Help you what? - I've got to get back into the school

because if I don't get back there, Mr Shepherd,

we're not gonna be able to enter the competition.

I don't know what you're talking about. What competition?

- The flashmob competition. - Why is everybody talking about flashmobs?

Apparently, I've now got to have one at my wedding.

- You're getting married? - In New York.

My dad's getting married to a girl called Sophie

and Sophie's got an ex-boyfriend.

Bradley Finch.

- Bradley Finch, the dancer? - Yes.

- Bradley Finch, the flashmob guru? - Yes.

- We love him! - I think he's trying to get Sophie back.

- Well, we don't know that, do we? - Well, it sounds like it to me.

- I don't see that's any of your business. - We can get a flashmob troupe together,

win the competition, go over to New York

and stop Bradley Finch smoochy-smooching your fiancée.

Everybody meet tomorrow for flashmob auditions in the hall taken by...

...super teacher Mr Shepherd.

(All) Yeah!

# Hey-ha, hey-ha, show me what you got

- # Hey-ha, hey-ha, show me what - Oh, come on!

# Woo-hoo, Woo-hoo, do your own sweet thing

# Hey-ha, hey-ha, give me everything

# Show me all the moves you make

# Gotta get that body shake and swing

# You gotta shake that thing...

You're in my team.

Wow! I want you in my team.

(Archie hee-haws)

'I want this kid on my team.'

- # Jump and swing - # Jump and swing

- # Shake that thing - # Shake that thing

- # Jump and swing - # Jump and swing

- # Shake that thing - # Shake that thing

- # Jump and swing - # Jump and swing

- # Shake that thing - # Shake that thing

# Jump and swing...

Amazing.

- Why is it doing that? - Cos he's got the rhythm.

He can dance, I told you, Mr Shepherd. He's a dancing donkey. Come on!

# Hey-ha, hey-ha, show me what you got

# Hey-ha, hey-ha, sure will mean a lot

# Woo-hoo, woo-hoo, do you own sweet thing

# Hey-ha, hey-ha, give me everything...

(Gasps)

# Hey-ha, hey-ha, sure will mean a lot #

What on earth are you all doing? The inspector's coming up the path.

I told you how important this is. Why are you standing there? Panic!

Right, Mr Poppy, get that donkey out of here. I'm so sorry, Mrs Keen.

Quick.

Come on, come on! Quick, quick, quick, quick, quick!

OK, you guys, brilliant.

Glasses on.

He's coming!

- All clear. - Well done, guys.

Careful.

Lauren?

Ow!

(Hee-hawing)

Oh, come on.

Oh, there he is, right.

Excuse me, don't go away. Thank you.

Right there, thanks.

Come on.

- Come on. - (Hee-hawing)

He's really stubborn. Up there.

That's it.

Oh, come on.

- (Archie farts) - Oh!

Mr Shepherd?

Mr Shepherd? Let's go and get him.

Mr Shepherd! We've got no time for sunbathing.

Mrs Keen's doing her nut in there, Mr Shepherd.

Dad?

Maybe he was climbing the tree. He fell out of the tree.

Mr Shepherd? Come on, wake up.

Are you OK, Dad?

Everyone grab a limb.

Heave!

Dad?

Can you hear me?

Hello, sleepy head.

How are you? We rescued you from outside.

You'd fallen out of the tree cos you were scrumping for apples.

- Who are you? - Dad?

Who are you?

- Do you want a drink of water? - No.

Cuddle?

Oh, what are you talking about?

- Where's this? - (Mr Poppy) Where is this?

This is the school. You're a super teacher with super powers.

Remember the flashmobs? The flashmobs. We auditioned in the hall.

You were spinning around on the chair going,

"I don't want her on my team“. Remember that, Mr Shepherd?

Christmas. You were getting married Christmas Eve in New York.

The nativity. You must remember the nativity?

Little baby Jesus.

Mason, grab baby Jesus from the crib.

Remember this little guy?

Hold him, it's baby Jesus.

- Mrs Mean's coming. - Quick, hide me.

False alarm everybody, phew!

It wasn't the inspector after all that.

It was a man with a van and he's taken the donkey away

so no more donkey droppings all over the place.

Thank you so much, Mr Shepherd. You made the phone call, didn't you?

We're all fine now.

No inspector today but we don't know when he's going to be coming, do we?

This is the baby Jesus.

How sweet. Have you been doing the nativity altogether? How lovely.

But children, don't forget, the inspector's on his way.

See you in a minute.

- What have you done with my donkey? - What donkey?

Archie, my singing and dancing donkey.

I don't know.

- You do know who I am, don't you? - No.

I'm the headteacher and you are answerable to me.

- So what have you done with the donkey? - I don't know.

Oh, come on. Can't you remember anything?

Look...

Look into those eyes. What do you see?

- A little girl. - Your little girl, Lauren.

This is the baby Jesus.

Where you going now?

- Dad! Dad! - Mr Shepherd?

We just need to get him home, OK?

- Do you know where you live? - Yes.

Right. We'll get him to a doctor

and then he probably just needs a good night's sleep

and he'll be as right as rain.

I promise I'm gonna help you.

And that's a Poppy promise.

Yeah, and they're 100% guaranteed, right?

(All) Yeah!

We're gonna get Mr Shepherd's memory back.

Come on, let's go!

Lauren, you don't actually live in one of these houses, do you?

Yes, I do.

- Are they real? - Yes.

- Do Smurfs live in them? - No.

- They're tiny. - Hi, Lauren.

Hi.

Who's that?

- The librarian. - Bet she's got a big brain.

- Hi, Jeremy. Hi, Lauren. - Hi.

- Who's Jeremy? - You.

- Hi, Katherine. Hi, Toby. - Hi, Lauren.

Hi, Jeremy. Gosh, there's a lot of you today.

Ooh, nice dog.

- There's the doctor's. - (Mr Poppy) Come on, let's go in.

He fell out of a tree. I had a little look where he fell around the apple tree

and there was no brains coming out of his ears.

Well, the good news is

that there doesn't seem to be too much physical damage.

I think what you're going to have to do is try and flood his brain

with... with warm memories, with pleasant associations...

Yeah, but he can't remember anything. He can't even remember Christmas.

(Doctor) He can't remember Christmas?

Well, maybe what you should do is create Christmas for him a little early.

Surround him with all things Christmas.

- Would scaring him work? - Scaring him?

Yeah, I mean it works when I have hiccups.

- What sort of...? - (Shouts)

(Mimics fanfare)

- I don't like it. - Whoa!

This is your house, Mr Shepherd. It's where you live.

- Look, Christmas tree. - Christmas tree.

- Yes! Tinsel. - Tinsel.

Yes! Look, there's a robin. Can you say robin?

- Robin. - Robin!

Robin, robin, robin, robin. You remember, don't you?

No, I don't. I don't remember.

That's just it, that's the thing. I don't remember anything.

All right, keep your hair on.

He can't have forgotten you, Lauren.

- Mr Poppy will look after you. - Yeah, he always does.

We'll get him to remember Christmas for you, Lauren.

What you doing up here?

- I don't like these clothes. - They're your clothes.

I don't like them though. I don't know this man.

OK, all right, easy.

We can take you to the shops tomorrow. Give you a little makeover.

- What's a makeover? - You know, put some new clothes on you,

er... do your hair and a bit of makeup maybe... No.

Look, it doesn't matter about clothes, OK?

What matters is there's a little girl downstairs who needs your help.

Come on, let's go and find out about Christmas.

Ow!

Whoa!

Have you got your memory back?

- Ah... - Come on, let's go.

(Shouts)

First we put mince pies and carrots for the reindeer.

What are... Sorry, what are the reindeers?

Reindeers are really handy cos they pull the sleigh through the sky.

- What's a sleigh? - A sleigh is the thing that Santa rides in.

Yeah, it's like a big wooden car pulled by the reindeers through the night sky.

- And who's Santa? - Oh, Dad, this is Santa.

Well, he's a bit bigger than that and he's fatter.

What?

Yeah, he's got a huge white beard and a sack of presents.

He goes, "Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas."

How does he know what presents to get people?

You write a list and post it to the North Pole.

- Tell him about the naughty or nice list. - You're either naughty or you're nice

and I think the whole of the class will get on the nice list

and I think you would maybe get on the bad list.

- Why? - Because you don't remember Christmas.

(Mr Poppy) Yeah. (Lauren) Christmas is magical.

That's why we make Christmas wishes in our wishing well.

We put magic fairy dust in that Mum left us.

- Who's Mum? - My mum.

- Where's she? - In heaven.

# Everybody needs a wish at Christmas time, it's true

# Some are made for those we love and some because we're blue

# When the sky is dark and there are no stars up above

# Then you have to find a way to fill your heart with love

# Have a little faith

# Light a little light

# Everyone is gonna have their wish tonight

# Just close your eyes

# And count to three

# And find yourself believing

# Take this light of mine... #

Hey, what's this stuff?

It's all his stuff from when he was a little kid.

Cool. Look at that, Father Christmas riding a train.

- What's this? - His journal.

Wow! Look at him, he's tiny.

Still got big ears though, hasn't he? What does it say?

"I like trains."

He wants to be a train driver.

"I went to a model village with my mum and dad.

"I pointed at my house."

- Where's the model village? - It's in the town where my dad grew up.

- Do you think you could take us? - Probably.

We could take him to all the places in his journal.

The model village, the funfair.

Wow! Great room.

- Oh... - So where do I sleep?

I'll sleep with the kids. You two can sleep in my bed.

Yes! I love this bed. This is my favourite room in the whole house.

Come on, Mr Shepherd, in we get.

We'll take you shopping tomorrow, get you some new clothes,

create a brand new you. You smell nice.

(Mr Shepherd) Goodnight.

- (Farting) - That was a funny noise.

Yeah, I just done a pop-off.

Oh, whoa! Oh, what's that smell?

- Ah, so you can remember farts. - What?

(# THE ANDREW SISTERS: "Jing-a-ling, Jing-a-ling")

Oh, God, it's moving.

- It's moving. - Yeah, it's an escalator.

(Screams)

# Jing, jing-a-ling, jing-a-ling, jing-a-ling

# I love to hear our laughter mingle

# Ha-ha, ho-ho

# Gliding through the snow

# Jing, jing-a-ling, jing-a-ling, jing-a-ling

# The bells have got the snowflakes dancing

# Jing, jing-a-ling, jing-a-ling, jing-a-ling

# OI' Dobbin's even prancing

# Jing, jing-a-ling, jing-a-ling, jing-a-ling

# The night is made for sweet romancing

# Ha-ha, ho-ho

# Through the snow we go...

What's that?

- That is a steam train, Mr Shepherd. - What?

You used to want to drive one of these when you were a little boy.

We're gonna ride it to your Christmas past.

Come on, children.

# Brings you sliding even closer in my arms

# Can't you hear the sleigh bells asking why we're single?

(Mr Poppy) Right, everybody jump on. Stay in partners, please.

What? Whoa, wait!

Kids, hold on. Wait!

Mr Shepherd!

Whoa!

# Jing, jing-a-ling, jing-a-ling, jing-a-ling...

- What are you doing? - (Laughs)

# OI' Dobbin's even prancing

# Jing, jing-a-ling, jing-a-ling, jing-a-ling

# The night is made for sweet romancing

# Ha, ho, through the snow we go...

Whoo-hoo!

# Jing-a-ling, jing-a-ling, jing-a-ling, jing-a-ling, jing-a-ling #

- Oh, I'm exhausted. - (Clattering)

Ah, Kieona. Thanks awfully.

Put it down there, please.

Why have I got a mug?

Can you get my cup and saucer which is over there?

I don't like drinking out of a mug.

Thanks awfully.

Thank you.

Er... Kieona, before you go,

can you just make sure Mr Shepherd knows

that the inspector's on his way and we've all got to be on high alert.

It could be any minute now.

So tell Mr Shepherd, tell everyone you meet in the corridor,

look out.

Shoulders down.

Hair back.

Good. Off you go. Thanks awfully for the tea. Bye.

(Mr Poppy) Nearly there. Just a few more steps, Mr Shepherd.

OK. You can open your eyes.

Tah-dah! This is the village you grew up in.

- It's tiny. - Yep.

- How did I grow up in here? - You were tiny.

Come on. It's Mrs Miggins in the post office.

Hello, Mrs Miggins.

Whoosh!

Look, this is the church where you used to sing.

Can you remember the little man in the dress?

(Gasps) Snow!

Look!

- I think I know this guy. - That's the baby Jesus.

- No, that's Father Christmas. - Father Christmas.

- Ho, ho, ho. - Ho!

- And look who he's got with him. - A dog.

- Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer. - Rudolph, the dog... reindeer!

- Listen. - (Tinkling)

Can you hear that?

A Christmas song.

# Christmas is a time for wishing

# It's a time for reminiscing

# Presents that you opened long ago

# All the places you remember

# Christmas shopping in September

# Stolen kisses beneath the mistletoe

# So don't forget the reason

# It's such a special season

# Though you may be feeling kind of blue

# And as the snow may come or go

# The only thing you need to know

# Christmas always will remember you

# Everybody needs a special Christmas

# Full of wondrous magic and delight

# Christmas is a time for making dreams come true

# So come on with us this Christmas and take flight

# Hanging up your stocking, let's get started

# Carol singers knocking, so warm-hearted

# Better get a move on, Christmas will not wait

# This is our Christmas song

# And Christmas don't last long

# So reach out for the Christmas that's in you

# This is our Christmas song

# Sing out and sing it strong

# And all your Christmas wishes really will come true #

- Look, the crib. - Oh...

(Mr Poppy) You used to come here every Christmas Eve.

- (Mr Shepherd) Who are they? - What do you mean? It's the baby Jesus.

- Oh, the little one? - Yeah, the little one in the middle.

OK, and who's the one on the other side?

(Sighs) Look, OK. We're gonna have to explain the story, guys.

- Yeah. - Go, Joseph.

- There was this woman named Mary. - Right.

And there was this man called Joseph. And Joseph asked Mary to marry him.

- And an angel came down. - What's an angel?

Basically, like, a half bird, half lady.

It wears, like, a really nice white dress, like a wedding dress,

and she tells people all the important news,

like the news that you're gonna have a baby.

- I'm gonna have a baby? - No.

- Who is? - Joseph.

- This Joseph? - No, I'm not having a baby.

- Mary's having the baby. - Mary's having Joseph's baby?

No, Mary's having the baby from the fella in the sky.

- Santa? - (All) No!

- God's the father. - Who's God?

He's the man in the sky with a big beard, lives in the clouds.

Well, that is Santa. You said that was Santa and he flies.

No, Santa's the guy with the reindeers.

God's the guy who just wisps about on the clouds.

Everybody flies in this.

Let's just recap, OK. There's a fella called Mary. Oh... no.

- What? - Wait.

The main thing is, they have to go to Bethlehem on the back of a donkey.

- What donkey? - Exactly.

Can you remember what you've done with my donkey?

# Hey, dude, where's my donkey?

# Hey, dude, where has he gone?

# My wife is having a baby with no donkey to ride on, ride on

# Hey, dude, seen my donkey?

# Hey, dude, I need a rest

# My donkey should carry Mary, gotta get this off my chest

# Hey, dude, where's the donkey?

# Hey, dude, where's he at?

# I've got to get to a stable cos I'm tired and I'm fat

# Dude, he's sure gone off track

# I want my donkey baby, yeah

# I want my donkey back, I want him back #

So what happens next in the story?

You're gonna have to wait till we get to the competition.

- What competition? - (All) The flashmob competition!

All right, I only asked.

Jeremy, it is me. Why are you not returning my calls?

I must have left you a dozen messages.

Can you please just let me know you and Lauren are OK?

I can't understand the silence, Jeremy.

- Where's this place? - This is where you popped the question.

(Mr Shepherd) Wow!

(Mr Poppy) We're not gonna flashmob you this time,

we're gonna splash mob you.

Do you understand that we are getting married soon

and it's really worrying to me that you don't return my calls?

# And so you got into a boat

# And your heart began to float

# And you rowed towards your Sophie with a ring...

Could you just let me know that you and Lauren are OK?

I'm sorry. I feel... I'm getting a little bit hysterical.

# And all the world stopped turning

# You made a splash, you made a splash

# You couldn't find the ring...

Let me know you still want to get married to me.

Let me know you're still involved in our wedding.

- Thank you! - # Your dreams could still come true

# He made a splash, splash...

And please tell Lauren I love her?

# La, la, la, la, la...

Look, come on. Trust me, Mr Shepherd.

I'm gonna do this for your own good.

# You made a splash #

Remember?

Why did you do that?

He doesn't remember.

Come on, children!

- This is where you came to have fun. - Fun?

How are you with heights?

(# THE ANDREW SISTERS: "Jing-a-ling, Jing-a-ling")

I don't like it.

# Jing, jing-a-ling, jing-a-ling, jing-a-ling

# They set your heart a-tingle

# Jing, jing-a-ling, jing-a-ling, jing-a-ling #

How brilliant is this? Do you like it?

No hands!

(All screaming)

Why do you keep doing these things to me?

Because you used to have fun when you were a little boy.

- How do you know? - Because I've read it in your journal.

- What journal? - This journal.

- Was this mine? - Yes.

- Where did you get this? - (Mr Poppy) We found it.

Under the bed.

(Mr Poppy) Do you remember any of it?

- What have you just done, Mr Shepherd? - (All gasp)

Dad!

How are we gonna get your memory back now?

- Well, maybe I don't want my memory back. - (Mimics Mr Shepherd)

- What about me? - What about you?

Dad!

Right, that's it. Don't worry about it, Lauren. Christmas past is over.

Now we're gonna do Christmas present. So follow me.

(Mimics robot)

(Train whistles)

We're nearly there.

Right, Mr Shepherd, you leave me no choice.

My back is against the wall

and when my back's against the wall I come out fighting.

We are gonna take you to the big guy, the man himself, the man in red.

Kris Kringle, St Nicholas, the big guy with the hairy face.

- Who are all these people? - Tell him, kids.

(All) Santa!

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Too many, too many.

WOW!

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Stop, stop, stop.

Saw you all running in there. Welcome to Santa's Grotto. Merry Christmas.

- Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas.

Now, do you have your appointment cards?

We haven't actually got an appointment card.

I'm afraid you can't see Santa Claus unless you've got an appointment,

but Merry Christmas.

We need to see Santa. It's our last chance.

Well, I think that there may be an appointment

coming through in about two weeks' time.

We haven't got time for two weeks' time.

We've got to get to the competition tomorrow in London.

If we don't win the competition, we're not gonna get to the Empire State Building

and if we don't get to the Empire State Building

we aren't gonna save the school

and we're not gonna save him getting married to Sophie.

If you guys can prove to me that you love Christmas

then maybe you can see Santa Claus, OK?

Well, get on with it, Big Buttons.

Question one.

(Mimics timer)

What do elf children learn at school?

- Bit of everything, wrapping presents. - (Mimics buzzer)

The elf-abet.

(Mimics timer)

Who is Father Christmas' favourite musician?

- The baby Jesus. - (Mimics buzzer)

Elfis. What's Father Christmas' wife name?

- Mrs Santa Claus? - (Mimics buzzer)

Mary Christmas. What do I get if I take a photo of myself?

An elfie.

(Mimics buzzer) You guys are not doing well at this test.

If you can pass the song test, then you can see Father Christmas.

- (Mr Poppy) Bring it on. - What about the elf, is he gonna be singing?

He's not an elf, that's Mr Shepherd.

He's got the hat, he's got the trousers, he's got the ears.

I mean...

he has definitely got the ears for it so he's an elf.

- Why are you being so mean on him? - I'm not being mean on him.

I'm just saying that he's come up in my elf crib

and he's bringing his elf self up in my elf grill

and all I'm saying is you'd better elf off.

- Right, OK, let's go through. - No, no, no!

Please, one at a time. Please don't crowd him.

He'll be claustrophobic. Whoa, whoa, whoa!

- I really don't like your elf. - No, he's a bit official, isn't he?

- Yes. - He's elf-ish.

- Yeah, he is elf-ish. - Have you got a special wish?

Yeah, I've got actually a really important wish.

- I lost my donkey. - How did you lose him?

I don't know.

Mr Shepherd seems to have put him somewhere

and can't remember where.

We'll get him back. Anyone else got a wish?

- What's your name? - Lauren.

You come and tell me, Lauren.

(Farts)

(Mr Poppy) There you go.

Ah, Lauren, and what's your special wish?

I want Dad to marry Sophie so I can get a new mum.

(Santa) Marry Sophie? (Lauren) Yeah.

- (Santa) ls he going to? - He was, but now he's lost his memory.

Ah, really? I promise we'll get his memory back

and he'll marry Sophie, as long as you really believe.

- You must believe to receive. - True that.

Oh, wait a minute. You can't make that promise.

You can't say what I will and what I won't remember.

This is all made up.

The wooden horses with ears, they're not even real.

- These trees, they're everywhere. - (Elf) Whoa, whoa, whoa! Stop it.

It's all made up. Look at that, there's nothing in there.

- They're not real presents. - (Santa) Stop it.

It's rubbish, it's fake. Look at his.

- Ow! - OK, the beard's real. Just the beard.

Elves, get him.

Kids, get that elf.

(# THE ANDREW SISTERS: "Jing-a-ling, Jing-a-ling")

(Elf) Wait, come here, come here.

Come here!

# Jing, jing-a-ling, jing-a-ling, jing-a-ling

# What fun to hear the sleigh bells jingle

# Jing, jing-a-ling, jing-a-ling, jing-a-ling...

Mr Shepherd! Quick, guys.

Follow the elf. Everybody on, everybody on.

# Gliding through the snow

# Jing, jing-a-ling, jing-a-ling, jing-a-ling

# The bells have got the snowflakes dancing

# Jing, jing-a-ling, jing-a-ling, jing-a-ling...

Come here.

# Jing, jing-a-ling, jing-a-ling, jing-a-ling

# The night is made for sweet romancing

# Ha-ha, ho-ho

# Through the snow we go...

Do not go off-road.

Ow!

# Jing, jing-a-ling, jing-a-ling, jing-a-ling...

Brake, brake, brake! Big bush!

# Jing-a-ling, jing-a-ling, ol' Dobbin's even prancing

# Jing, jing-a-ling, jing-a-ling, jing-a-ling

# The night is made for sweet romancing #

(All screaming)

Ow!

Mr Shepherd.

Oh...

What do you think you were doing?

I was trying to get away from that elf. I didn't like him.

What's wrong with you? Are you trying to ruin my Christmas wish?

Hang your head in shame.

You've let me down, you've let the class down,

you've let Lauren down, you've let yourself down,

you've let Father Christmas down, and Archie.

But worst of all...

- you've let your trousers down. - Oh!

(All laugh)

(Mr Poppy) OMG, we made it.

WOW!

Smell that, Mr Shepherd.

Pollution. This is the Big Smoke.

If New York's the Big Apple then London is... the Big Pineapple.

(Gasps)

Look, an open-top bus.

Can you feel the Christmas spirit yet?

- Ow! - He's feeling it, kids.

Buckle up for the ride of your life.

We can go.

WOW!

Wow, look at that!

Look at that! Destination Christmas.

Look. Whoa!

WOW!

Look over there.

(A") Whoa!

(Mr Poppy) Woo-hoo!

Look, it's the eye of London. It's beautiful.

(All) Wow!

OK, this is where we're doing the flashmob. Everyone, see this picture of Archie.

I want you to hand it out to anyone because we need him to win the competition

so we can take Mr Shepherd to New York.

Meet at the registration point in five minutes.

And keep your eyes peeled for Bradley Finch.

- Wow! - What?

Mr Shepherd, it's an ice rink. This is a Christmas tradition.

- What are they doing? - Come on, come slide with me.

What?

There. See?

(Nervous laughter)

- How cool does this feel? - Oh, that's great.

- Whoa! - Ow!

(# Music starts)

Mr Shepherd, it's a flashmob.

The competition's started.

# Gonna skid, cannot wait

# For all these Christmas decorations

# For these lovely, shiny baubles on a sleigh

# How I wish it could be Christmas every day

# So string us up and hang us high

# As bouncy as can be

# The prettiest baubles on the Christmas tree

# Baubles

# Here every year...

(Mr Poppy) It's brilliant. It's mob-alicious.

Go on, Mr Shepherd.

Shepherd?

Whey-hey!

Mr Poppy, look at me now, I'm in it.

No.

# The prettiest baubles, prettiest baubles

# Prettiest baubles, prettiest baubles

# The prettiest baubles on the Christmas tree

# Baubles #

(Cheering)

We need to get the children, Mr Shepherd.

Ow.

Hey, kids, the competition's started.

(Mr Poppy) Oh, it's Bradley Finch.

Everybody follow him but keep it on the lowdown.

Um... Lauren.

Um... I'm not doing this on purpose, I really have lost my memory

but I'm trying for you, I promise.

- Will you help us win the competition? - Yes, I will. Yes, I really will.

Come on.

(Lauren) I can't wait for us to see Sophie.

# Oakmoor Stars

# We are Oakmoor Stars

# We are the flashmobbers who choose the best location

# We're dancing on the bridge so we impress the nation

# Forget a boring Christmas of presents and mince pies

# Cos Christmas isn't Christmas till Oakmoor win a prize

# Shakespeare, he is our leader

# He is our light on Christmas Day

# Mr Shakespeare, our greatest leader

# He is the star that lights our way...

He can't street-dance.

He's too posh to street-dance.

# Oakmoor Stars

# Jump up and grab

# The biggest presents

# Your feet are jumping

# Your heart is pumping...

Guys, this is good.

# Oh, yeah, we're just so in it

- # Oakmoor's gonna win it... - Whoa!

# On the bridge tonight

# Ho!

# We're so big and flash

# Ho!

# Taking all the cash

# Ho!

# This is our final bash

# We gotta dash

# Oakmoor Stars #

WOW!

(Bradley Finch) Awesome.

(Boat horn)

What's that?

Another flashmob.

# Who's gonna float your boat this Christmas?

# Take you to the island of your dreams

#Who's gonna float your boat this Christmas?

# To a place where nothing's as it seems

# Who's gonna sail away, float towards Christmas Day?

# Get your Christmas candy and your booze

# Who's gonna float your boat this Christmas?

# On the Christmas island holiday cruise...

Come on, kids, we gotta go. We gotta get ready.

- # 'Tis the season - # 'Tis the season

# To be joy, joyful

- # Feel the rhythm - # Feel the rhythm

# Of the wind beneath your sails

# Bells are ringing as we jingle

# Can you feel your fingers tingle?

# On our joy, joy, joyful

# Cruise to Christmas Day

# Carol singers...

What are you all looking at so intently? Can I have a look?

Oh, I say, that's really rather good. Where is that taking place?

- London. - (Mrs Keen) In London?

Do you know, I thought I recognised it. Isn't that lovely?

# On our joy, joy, joyful

# Cruise to Christmas Day...

Stop, stop. All stop, stop!

- # Cruise into Christmas - # Everybody now

- # Cruise into Christmas - # Sing it out now

# Have a happy Christmas

# Full of good cheer

# We'll send you a postcard saying wish you were here

#Wow#

(Girl) Yeah. (Boy) Can we have a go?

No, we can't have a go.

We've had a go. Our go was better than their go.

Hey, Mr POPPY-

We just saw Mr Shakespeare on the bridge dressed as a lady.

- What? - Yeah.

Look at that. It's another one.

Santas.

# Stay up all night...

OMG.

# Ooh, stay up all night...

They've got a cloning machine.

- # Santa is the man - # Stay up all night

- # Santa is the man - # Stay up all night...

How many Santas can you get on the London Eye?

I don't know, how many Santas can you get on the London Eye?

I dunno, a lot.

# Let's take a trip, we'll take a flight upon a big sleigh ride...

Do you know, I'm really, really impressed by this.

What is it they call it?

- (Pupil) Flashmobbing. - Oh, this is flashmobbing?

Oh, is it? It's rather sick. Isn't that what you all say?

It makes you rather sick.

# One, two, three, four, leave my presents at the door

# Five, six, seven, eight, you had better stay up late

#9,10,11,12, get yourself a little elf

#13,14,15,16, 50, 80, Santa, baby

#Ooh...

- Wow! A wheel full of Santas. - Cool.

- (Mr Poppy) Santastic! - # Ooh...

Whoa!

- # Stay up all night - # I said hip, I said hop

- # I said hip-hop, Santa's gonna stop - # Ooh, stay up all night

- # He's got the moves like Santa - # Ooh, stay up all night

- #He's got the grooves like Santa # - # Ooh, stay up all night #

- Oh, you made it, then? - Yes.

- You don't think you're gonna win, do you? - We'll give it a try.

It's a wasted journey. What makes you think you're gonna win?

- We've got a super teacher. - Where?

- Here. - ls that not Where's Willy?

- What? - Where's Willy?

- Shepherd. - Hi.

- Jeremy, yes. - How you doing?

- Good, good. Shakily, isn't it? - No, Shakespeare.

- With the Oak Boils. - Was it good?

(Finch) Wonderful. Really, really top stuff. (Shakespeare) Thank you.

- Anyway, Shepherd. - Just smile and say yes.

What are you doing here?

We're doing the Flashmob.

Why aren't you preparing for the big day?

- What big day? - Your wedding.

Yeah, we've gotta go, Bradley.

- Sorry, but we've got a flashmob to do. - No, I know...

Well, please give my... my love to Sophie.

- We will. Goodbye. - And all the best.

So, Bradalicious,

what do you think of our chances of winning the flashmobber?

Ssh.

(Music starts)

# Hey, dude, where's my donkey?

# Hey, dude, where has he gone?

# My wife is having a baby with no donkey to ride on, ride on

# Hey, dude, seen my donkey?

# Hey, dude, I need a rest

# My donkey should carry Mary, gotta get this off my chest

# Hey, dude, where's the donkey?

# Hey, dude, where is he at?

# I've got to get to a stable cos I'm tired and I'm fat...

Very good. Do you know, isn't it a shame

that Mr Poppy's not here to see this nativity flash

cos he rather liked all this sort of thing, didn't he?

# I want my donkey back, I want him back

# Dude, he's sure gone off track

# I want my donkey, baby

# Yeah, I want my donkey back, I want him back

#Ssh...

Go, Lila.

# Everybody needs a wish at Christmas time, it's true...

Oh, look.

Isn't that gorgeous?

Mr Shepherd would like to see this.

I wonder if I should go and see if I could find him.

- He's just gone to the loo. - Oh, has he? Yeah.

# Then you have to find a way to fill your heart with love

# Have a little faith, light a little light

# Everyone is going to have their wish tonight

# Just close your eyes

# And count to three

# And find yourself believing

# Hear my song of love

# Heaven-sent from up above

# And follow every starlight

# Let them light the dark night

# Wish upon a Christmas time

# Follow me and take my hand

# I will light your way

# Fly with me to wonderland

# For your first Christmas Day

# And suddenly the stars come out

# And we are not alone

# We're gonna shine so hard and you're never gonna stop us

# And we feel so bright that you're never gonna pop us

# So we're turning up the music and we're partying tonight

# Cos there's a party in the sky

# We're gonna dance until we fly

# We're going ho, ho, ho,

# Light up, light up

# We're going ho, ho, ho,

# Light up the sky

# We're going ho, ho, ho

# Light up, light up

# We're gonna dance until we fly

# Cos there's a party in the sky

# We're gonna dance until we fly

# Take this light of mine

# Lead me to a hope divine

# And though the stars are faded

# Never mind the jaded

# Wish upon a Christmas time

# Though the stars are faded

# Never mind the jaded

# Wish upon a Christmas time #

(Mr Poppy) Come on, kids. Let's find out who's won.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, flashmobbers all,

thank you for taking part in Bradley Finch's Christmas Flashmob Competition.

But now the moment you've all been waiting for,

who's it gonna be?

Ladies and gentlemen, the winner is...

Here's the trip to New York.

Maybe my wish will come true.

(Bradley Finch) Shepherd!

...the Oakmoor Christmas Stars.

Woo-hoo!

Oakmoor!

Er, yet again we're top of the tree. New York, New York.

- (Woman) We love you, Mr Shakespeare. - I love me too. I love me too.

Er... New York, New York, it's a wonderful town.

The talent is up and the rubbish is down.

Mr Poppy, please.

We've got to go to New York. I'll never get a new mum.

You will, I promise.

I've made you a Poppy promise and I can't go back on it.

Don't worry, I've got an idea.

Stop for me, Mr Cabbie, I got a plane to catch.

(Mimics static)

- Are you receiving? - (All) Hi!

'The good news is we're gonna go and dance on top of the Empire State Building.'

(All) Yeah!

- 'Bad news is we didn't win the competition.' - Oh!

'Don't worry, we've got a plan.

'We're gonna meet at the airport and take Gordon Shakespeare's tickets.'

New York.

Come on, kids. Operation Distraction is go.

Right, yeah, let's go.

- Your passports, sir. - Thank you.

We won a competition, you see. We're going to New York.

Broadway, it's kind of my natural habitat.

Ooh, there's your boarding passes, sir.

Thank you so much. Very important.

Thank you. We're leaving in less than an hour, everyone.

Troilus, can you please behave and leave Cressida alone...

(Music starts)

(Shakespeare) Oh, I see.

# You're gonna fly to New York, to New York, to New York, to New York

# You're getting high on New York

# High, high, high, you just can't wait...

Mr Shepherd, grab their passports.

And the tickets.

# You just can't wait for New York

# High, high, high, you just can't wait

# Higher than the Empire State

# High, high, high, you just can't wait for New York

# We'll miss you, we'll miss you, we'd love you to stay

# We'll miss you, we'll miss you, as you fly away to New York

- # Don't fly away to New York... - Come on.

# Don't fly away to New York...

You're twitching. Stop twitching, stop dancing.

- # New York... - Stop dancing. That was rubbish.

We won, we're going to New York.

And we're going right now. Get back in the queue.

Hello, there.

How are you? I'm Gordon Shakespeare.

I'm from the Oakmoor

and we're incredibly posh, aren't you, children?

Yes.

- Say hello, Tarquin. - Hello, Tarquin.

- (Mouths) - Hello, my name is Tarquin.

There you are. You can go through, children.

Why, thank you ever so much. Good day.

Well, where are they? I don't know where they are.

I'm afraid you won't be able to fly, sir, without your boarding passes...

We've got to fly.

- Mr Poppy, Mr Poppy. - What?

My Christmas future, what if I don't like her?

You've asked her to marry you. She'll be beautiful.

Besides, it's not about you. This is about Lauren.

Come on!

(Mr Poppy) We've made it to the Big Apple!

Come on, let's go in.

# New York #

Oh, hello. I've got a reservation here.

- My name's Jeremy... - (Mr Poppy) Shepherd.

Shepherd.

We have a reservation for a Mr Shepherd but that's not for four days.

That's me. What I'd like to do is to bring that forward four days

for my daughter and myself plus 12 small beds for the children

and a big one for my headmaster, Mr Poppy.

- Sir, I would love to help. - Thank you.

It's holiday season and we have a wedding party with us.

- I'm in the wedding, I'm the groom. - (Mr Poppy) He's the one getting married.

I'm marrying Sophie, the bride.

We have a wedding rehearsal going on right now

with a Mr Finch so I...

- Finch? - I told you he'd be here.

Have you seen them smoochy-smooching?

There has not been a smoochy smooch.

Have they been...?

Er... I do not know what you're talking about, sir.

Has she been...?

No, but look...

Sorry to interrupt you, Henry, but where did you say that wedding rehearsal was?

- The rehearsal's through there, sir. - Thank you very much. Come on.

- No, guys. I'm afraid... Peter. - We just need to get in there.

It's my wedding rehearsal in there.

- Mr Shepherd... - Please, he just manhandled me.

- Mr Shepherd... - (Mr Poppy) We're in America.

You're supposed to be nice. Get off me!

- Is that security? - Happy Christmas.

Yeah, we have two grown men and about 10 to 15 small children.

Can you make sure they get out of the building, please? Thank you.

- Just taking the bags to room 242 sir. - OK, thanks, Pete.

I'm right behind you, Pete.

- I'll get those bags too. - Cheers, Chuck.

Oh, Pete,

can you get some more champagne up for the wedding party, please?

- OK, Mr Henry, I'm right on it. - Thank you.

Bounce and sway, yes. Bounce and sway.

- Sophie, you're a natural. - Jeremy?

(Bradley Finch) Jeremy.

Excuse me.

Dad!

Not that one, the other one.

No!

Dad!

Sophie.

- Hello, darling. - (Mr Shepherd) Sophie.

What are you...? Get... get off.

Everything's gonna be all right.

Stupid man.

You didn't tell me she was a ginger.

Why did you kiss my mother? Why did you kiss my best friend?

Er... I was nervous and I just made a bit of a mistake. I'm really sorry.

How can you mistake me for my mum and my best friend?

It's the jetlag. We've been on a plane.

I've got a bit of jetlag and it made me a little bit blind.

What are you wearing?

And what's that?

I'm the headmaster

and I'd like to know what Bradley Finch is doing here smooching you.

- And I'd like to know what you're doing here. - Yeah, what are you doing here?

We won a competition to do a dance on top of the Empire State Building.

I'm sorry, you won a competition?

What is wrong with you? Can't you afford socks?

- Sorry, who... he's the headmaster? - And best man.

Why is this man your best man? You've only known him five minutes.

- My brother, Charlie, is the best man. - Yeah.

- Can't we just all be one big happy family? - Yeah.

Do you see what he's wearing?

Look, Nanny Pam, I've got Oreo eyes.

I can't believe she's gonna marry him.

Hello, Mr Poppy, I'm an American. How are you today?

Look at him.

- Your burger and your shake, Mr Poppy. - (Gasps)

Maybe he's just a bit overexcited cos the whole wedding and...

- Yeah, he's definitely overexcited, I mean... - (Slurps)

Nothing else could explain that, could it?

(Burps)

- You met him before. - Yeah.

- He's always been like this? - No, no, no, he's, um...

...straight, you know, straight-laced.

Taste that.

- There's something wrong. - It's really good.

- I'm gonna get to the bottom of it. - (Charlie) Yeah.

(Mr Poppy) She's got to marry you.

She doesn't even like me. She likes Bradley Finch.

(Lauren) Because you've changed.

We've got to make her like you, Mr Shepherd.

You're gonna take Sophie down that aisle if it's the last thing we make you do.

We're gonna sort out your wedding cake. We'll sort the vows out.

We need to get you some new clothes as well.

- Some new togs. - Really?

- Threads. - Threads?

If you're gonna come to this wedding, you need to come correct.

(Phone ringing)

St Bernadette's, Mrs Keen speaking.

Yes, I'd like to speak to the headteacher, please.

Mm-hm, speaking.

No, the headmaster, please.

It's me, Mrs Keen. I am the headmistress.

I thought the headmaster was Mr Poppy.

Mr Poppy was never a headmaster. Lord, no!

'He's just an unqualified classroom assistant. Mr Poppy has gone.'

You are the inspector, are you?

Oh, my goodness, is that the time? I've said way too much. Bye-bye.

Mr POPPY-

Mr Poppy, please.

(Knock on door)

- I'm afraid I'm gonna have to interrupt. - Uncle Henry.

Mr Poppy, you're gonna have to be out of here by noon today.

They have created a number of incidents.

At breakfast there was pancakes on the ceiling.

There was a river of maple syrup.

I'm afraid it's just not gonna work here.

- Has Uncle Henry been good to you? - (All) Yeah.

- Thanks, Uncle Henry. - (All) Bye, Uncle Henry.

I'm not their uncle.

- He's just pretending to be angry. - (All) Yeah.

- I think you should look more cool. - He could do with a looking a bit cooler.

How much were the family loving Bradley Finch last night?

(All) Too much.

He thinks he's the groom. You're the groom.

You need to say to him, "I'm the groom!" Or maybe you need to be Bradley Finch.

- What? - Well, then Sophie might like you more.

Maybe we've got to Finch you up, big style.

Maybe.

Spick and span, Betty.

- Spick and span. - Of course, sir.

Housekeeping.

- Spick and span, Betty. Spick and span.

Yes, sir, sure, sir.

Housekeeping.

(Finch) Come in.

Yeah.

Well, you have to admit, your fiance is acting a little strangely.

I mean... look, why don't I help you with the vows?

If he's not... I'll help you with the vows.

We could incorporate it into the flashmob. How about that? That's an idea.

No, I'd be happy to help. I know, your brother is so sweet.

Yeah.

(Boy) Ladies and gentlemen, Mr Shepherd Finch.

(AH) Uh, yeah!

- Yeah, Dad! - King of bling!

Mr Shepherd, they're ready for you in the cake tasting.

Cakes are on Uncle Henry.

No, no, no! Please!

Jeanette, keep the cakes away.

OK, but only for ten minutes. Mr Poppy...

Oh... (inaudible)

Mr Shepherd, please can you help me here?

Oh, just a little bit of cake, please.

Under no circumstances can you go near the cakes, OK?

Would you like a piece of cake, Uncle Henry?

Yes, I would.

(All) Yeah!

- (Finch) Henri? - Yes, sir?

It's Bradley Grinch.

Something quite serious has happened.

Some of your... some of your staff have come into my room

and have taken half my wardrobe.

- I find that very hard to believe, sir. - Half my wardrobe, including my jewellery.

Why would they dry-clean my jewellery?

My blue jacket's missing, my dark jacket,

my leather print jacket, my red jacket that looks just like that is...

Where did you get that jacket?

Nowhere.

- It looks a lot like my jacket. - Oh? Lucky you.

- Why are you dressed like me? - I'm not, I'm dressed like me.

- You're dressed like you? - Just like it's my wedding.

I'm marrying Sophie, not you.

You know her so well, huh?

I don't even suppose you know

what sort of cake she would like, do ya, Shepherd?

- Yeah. - Yeah? Which one?

- Not telling. - Well, it's the strawberry cream.

I'm glad you're so happy with the cakes. Why don't you have a bit more?

Leg it!

That is it! Mr Shepherd!

(Woman screaming)

Sorry. I'm sorry.

Mr Poppy, in here.

Mr Shepherd!

Oh, I'm sorry.

(Mr Shepherd in a woman's voice) Are you looking for those kids?

- Yes, I am. - They went that way.

Thank you.

Listen, when I went into Bradley Finch's room,

he was on the phone to Sophie

and he was saying he was gonna help her with her wedding vows.

They're the most important part of the ceremony.

He shouldn't be doing that, you should.

- I don't think I can do it. - You've got to do it.

I don't remember her, I don't remember any time with her.

- I haven't got any memory. - You haven't even kissed her yet.

I know. I tried.

I tried but she wouldn't have it. I got the side of her head.

But you need to kiss her.

Then your memories might come flooding back.

How am I gonna kiss her?

Tomorrow, take her for dinner.

Wine her, dine her.

We could bring some mistletoe into action and finish off with a kiss

and then the memories will come back.

If only you hadn't fallen out of the apple tree none of this would have happened.

- I know. - Let's go and find the children.

- Bradley, there you are. - Ssh.

(Whispering) What? What?

He's lost his memory.

Who?

- Shepherd. - Shut up!

- Fell out of a tree. - No.

- Gone. - Gotta tell my sister.

No, no, no, not yet. I'm sure we can use this to our advantage.

Ah!

You're at the altar, I presume, and this is where you want to have your vows.

Go and get the others.

I would say, "I've loved you since the first day we met."

That should be you, Dad.

- He looks like he really likes her. - He does really like her.

He's gonna eat her.

I have loved you since the day I saw you.

Time's running out, Mr Shepherd.

You have to speak to Uncle Henry and book a table at the restaurant.

Come on.

- What are we gonna do, kids? - (Lauren) I've got an idea.

My dad can re-propose to her. I've still got the ring.

Brilliant! We could hide it in the food maybe.

You could give them one piece of spaghetti for them to share

and then they'll go closer and closer and closer and kiss.

- And the magic's in. - Yes!

Lauren, make sure Daddy orders spaghetti.

- Excuse me. - (Sophie) Oh, Lauren.

- My dad wants to take you out to dinner. - Oh!

- It's gonna be in the pizza restaurant. - Will you tell him yes?

Oh!

Keep your hands off Sophie.

- (Sighs) - Kids!

- Oh, so sweet. - So... sweet.

- I'll just give you the menu. - Thank you.

Rodrigo recommends the pizza is excellent here.

Jeremy, listen, I've got a really sneaking suspicion

that there's something wrong.

Not with me.

It's OK if there is, OK?

But you've got to tell me. ls it wedding nerves?

- Just a little bit jangly? - No, no.

- No, I'm really well. - Because if you don't want to get married...

I do. I do want to get married. I really want to get married.

- To me? - To you.

- Here? - I wanna get married to you here.

- In... - And kiss and just...

- What? - ...carry on our lives.

- Pasta! - Check.

- Sauce. - Check.

- Basil. - Check.

- Ring. - Check.

Come on.

Shall we order?

- Sorry. - Whoa!

Don't allow the ladies to take the order. The order comes from man usually.

I don't think it does. Can I have the menu?

- Give me the menu. - Spaghetti.

Yes, of course.

- I don't want spaghetti, Jeremy. - Let's have spaghetti.

# How about a song for the lady?

# You've got the moon to make you swoon

# But you can't do much without the mistletoe

# If you want some bliss on a night like this

# Then you need the mistletoe to get your Christmas kiss

# There's a thing this time of year

# That will bring your loved one near

# Make her heart do somersaults and backward flips

# So believe us when we say

# Please don't wait till Christmas Day

# Get your mistletoe and kiss those lovely lips

# If you're having your first fight

# And the magic's gone tonight

# And you're feeling like the two of you are through

# There's only one way you should go

# To make friends back out of foe

# You can smack her lips beneath the mistletoe

- # You've got the moves - # Got the moves

- # The funky groove - # The funky groove

# But your funk is sunk without the mistletoe

# Though you kiss with ease, they don't grow on trees

# But your mistletoe does so come and kiss me please

# Your mistletoe does so come and kiss me please, muah #

Oh, my gosh, Jeremy!

That was amazing.

That's why you brought all these children here.

- It hasn't worked. - What do you mean it hasn't worked?

The kiss, it just didn't work. Nothing happened to me.

- What are you saying now? - Nothing happened.

- Didn't you feel anything? - No, nothing.

Nothing happened? I knew you didn't wanna get married.

She didn't even find the ring.

Mr Poppy! Children!

What are you doing here? Out!

Get out of my restaurant. Move it, move it, move it.

And you, Mr Poppy. And you can take that moustache off.

Mr Shepherd? You left me to put the kids to sleep on my own.

I had to read them a story and do the voices. You could have helped out.

- Sorry. - Room for a little one?

Sure, yeah.

- That was a real mess. - You can't give up now.

Come on, we're in the city of dreams.

The Big Apple.

This whole place was built on people's dreams.

Don't let Lauren's dream disappear, Mr Shepherd.

Remember what Father Christmas said?

If you don't believe, you won't receive.

How can he do this to you?

You know, this should be the happiest time of your life.

- I don't know. - It's like he's totally changed character.

What am I gonna do?

If he's not the man for you, the time to call it off is now.

We're only gonna get one more chance at best.

We've got to give this our absolute everything.

I don't know what it was last night that went wrong, Mr Shepherd.

It might have been the spicy sauce. It could have been the pasta.

It might have been your breath.

But we've got to give this our everything.

We want you to be happy and be with the right man.

Yes, the right man.

(Knock on door)

Oh, sorry. I didn't realise everyone was going to be in here.

If you want to talk to me, you can talk to me in front of my family.

Can I just say there is no way you're gonna fit into that dress?

It's tiny.

What do you want?

Can I just say, people are allowed...

Sorry, I'm finding this really difficult with you lot listening.

Is there any chance you might just put your hands on your ears?

- Come on, Grandma. - Oh!

Can you just give him another chance, for Lauren's sake?

Of course.

OK. Come on, we'll just leave those there.

Please, Sophie, can I have one more chance?

Just one more date?

Because, Sophie, you're... You're Lauren's Christmas wish.

You're my Christmas future,

all wrapped up in one Christmas present.

And I promise I'll never let you down again.

I promise.

All right, Jeremy. I will give you one more chance.

You can meet me at the Park restaurant at two o'clock.

But if you arrive one minute past two, one second past two o'clock,

I will take that as a sign

that you don't want to marry me.

And this was all lovely.

Sophie.

Thank you.

Yes! Guys, give me five. Give me five.

(All) Jellyfish.

Big jellyfish.

- Head's office? - Yeah, just down there, through that door.

You've got poo on your head.

Donkey poo.

Donkey poo.

Archie's.

Does someone want to tell me what's going on?

Ah, Mr Shepherd, how lovely to see you. Do you know, I've been looking for...

Oh, you're not Mr Shepherd. Who are you?

- Er... Mr Parker. - Mr Parker, the inspector.

Could you give us a little bit more time

just because we want to be absolutely ready for you?

- Well, that's why I'm here. - What do you mean?

I've been sent by Mrs Bevan to help bring you up to standard for the big inspection.

- But you are the inspector. - No.

- You're not the inspector? - No.

So wait a second...

You're the super teacher, not the inspector.

So where's Mr Shepherd and who's he?

- Mr Shepherd. - Hi, Henry.

Hi, alone at last.

I just wanted to apologise, really, for the way that the evening went last night.

I shouldn't have shouted at Mr Poppy and the children like that, I mean...

I was wondering how long that was gonna take.

Thanks for the apology, Uncle Henry, but Mr Shepherd's got a very important date

and, if you'll excuse us, we need to have a man-on-man.

Come on, Mr Shepherd.

- But... - Oh!

And thanks for looking after the children.

The children? I...

- (All) Boo! - Oh, no.

Don't worry, Mr Shepherd, you're gonna be fine.

Big daddy breaths.

And don't forget, when on a date,

keep your hands clean,

keep your nose clean and keep your burn clean.

Good luck.

Ah, Jeremy!

Look, I know that we haven't seen eye to eye

but I think it's time we had a man-to-man talk.

- What? - I don't think

it's going to work out between you and Sophie.

I only say that because she doesn't want to marry you anymore.

- How do you know that? - Because she told me.

She loves me again, Jeremy,

and the only reason why she's been hanging on

is because of... Lauren.

You're lying.

- And what about you? - What about me? I'm not lying.

You haven't told her that you lost your memory.

Poppy hasn't told her, and what has Poppy been telling you?

That he's the headmaster of the school?

- He is the headmaster of the school. - He's an unqualified teaching assistant.

Maybe you should listen to me instead.

- Which one are you again? - Charlie, Sophie's brother.

Yes.

Listen, I'm sorry. He's telling the truth.

She doesn't love you anymore. I think it's time for you to move on.

(Sophie) 'If you arrive one second past two o'clock

'I will take that as a sign that you don't want to marry me.'

New York to London, are you receiving? Over.

(Mimics static)

(All) Hi!

'First things first, how's the inspector?'

'The inspector's turned up but he's not the inspector.'

- What? - He's the super teacher.

The super teacher's here. Mr Shepherd's here with me.

(All) Mr Shepherd's the inspector.

Maybe it's a bad connection.

# We know you've been having a hard time, you're kinda confused

# Oh, yeah

# He's left you alone and you're feeling a little bit used

# Oh, yeah

# Though the sun isn't shining

# There is still a way out

# Someone who knows you and wants to propose to you

# And he doesn't have any doubt

# Bradley Finch

# He's the one you adored

# Once upon a dream

# Bradley Finch

# You can still make him yours

# You'll make a winning team...

Mr Shepherd, what are you doing? You've got to be at the restaurant.

She wasn't telling the truth. She loves Bradley Finch.

# Step right UP

# Take his hand and dance

# Dance with Bradley Finch...

- Bradley Finch is a liar. - You're a liar, Mr Poppy.

I've never told a lie in my life, scout's honour.

You told me you were the headmaster.

You're an unemployed, unqualified classroom assistant.

- That's true, isn't it? - Who told you that?

You are a liar, your pants are on fire.

Why don't you have a look in your own pants?

Turns out you're the liar.

Pretending to be a super teacher when in fact you're an inspector

- trying to bring the school down. - What?

# I know that you're here for your wedding, a beautiful bride

# Oh, yeah

# But look at the tears that you're shedding, did somebody die?

#Oh, no

# Time to step out the shadows

# No more time in the wings

# And though I'm just Bradley, I still love you madly

# I even bought two rings

# Bradley Finch

# If you marry me now I'll be the best of grooms...

- Can't we just move on? - I am moving on, Mr Poppy.

I'm moving on without you. Just leave me alone.

# So please rethink your future

# Use what's in your head

# Come on, Sophie, be my trophy

# And marry me instead

# Marry Bradley Finch, marry Bradley Finch

# Marry Bradley Finch, marry Bradley Finch

# Marry Bradley Finch, marry Bradley Finch #

What...?

Well, that went well.

- Sophie? - oh!

- Sophie? Sophie, please. - No.

Please Sophie, please, please. Look, please, I can explain everything.

- No, you can't. - I can, I can.

- How could you do it again? - I can.

Let me explain. Just listen. Stop hitting me. Stop.

- You are breaking my heart. - I can't marry you, Sophie.

- You've met someone else, haven't you? - No.

- You've met someone else. - Sophie, I fell out of a tree.

And I forgot everything.

Absolutely everything.

Lauren, you, Christmas.

What?

Love. I didn't recognise my house. I can't remember a thing.

- Jeremy, is this another funny... - No, no.

- ...joke? - I really can't.

Right, so...

Right, so you've had a hit on the head and you've got memory loss?

Yeah.

All right, well, then, we can take you to a doctor.

I've been to a doctor.

Jeremy, we're in America. They do brilliant things here.

Your memory will come back.

Jeremy, I know you love me and we definitely love Lauren.

Sophie, I don't know if I love you because I can't remember you.

I don't know you. I can't say I love you.

- But what do you mean? - But Lauren loves you.

- I know she does. - Now here's what you're gonna do.

You're gonna to take Lauren and you're gonna marry Bradley.

- What? - You're going to be Lauren's family.

And you're going to bring her up. She loves you.

Jeremy! Stop it.

Stop talking like this. I'm not marrying Bradley.

- You know you want to. - I don't want to marry...

- Yes, you do. - Jeremy.

He's great. Say goodbye to Lauren.

- No, Jeremy, you can't... - I've got to go.

Jer...

Jeremy...

Oh, Lauren...

Oh, Lauren.

Oh, Lauren!

Oh, darling.

You're not gonna be my mum, are you?

I don't know, darling.

I don't know if I can. I don't know how I can.

He doesn't remember me, darling.

You have to... you have to go, darling.

You have to go.

Lauren?

Oh, Sophie.

- He doesn't wanna marry me. - I'm so sorry.

Oh, there you are.

How could you do that to Sophie? Just how?

I had to, Lauren. I'm no good to Sophie right now.

I can't be her husband because I've lost my memory.

- But what about me? - Don't you worry.

You can go and live with Sophie and she's gonna marry Bradley Finch,

- who'll teach you all kinds of cool dances. - I don't like Bradley Finch!

Why can't you remember?

You don't wanna remember, do you?

If you remember me, you're gonna have to remember who you were

and you're gonna have to remember when Mum died and all those sad things.

It's all right, Lauren. I'll look after you.

Oh, Bradley.

I know you and I really do care about you.

Hello, Henry.

Things not working out on the romantic front, Mr Shepherd?

Things aren't working out on any front, Henry.

Well, when I find myself lost like that I take a walk in this magical city

and, well, it's a magical time of year, Mr Shepherd.

It's Christmas in New York City, and I want you to have a little faith, you know,

that things are gonna work out just fine.

Thanks, Henry. I'll do that.

Hey, Mr Shepherd, it's cold out there.

Why don't you take this?

Thanks, Henry.

Thank you.

- Happy Christmas. - Why, thank you.

And Happy New York, Mr Shepherd.

(# "The Christmas Song")

# Chestnuts roasting on an open fire

# Jack Frost nipping at your nose

# Yuletide carols being sung by a choir

# And folks dressed up like Eskimos

# Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe

# Help to make the season bright

# Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow

# Will find it hard to sleep tonight...

I'm really sorry, guys. The Wedding's off.

Lauren doesn't get to dress in her sparkly dress,

I don't get to dress up as a snow pig,

none of you get to wear your white sparkly outfits.

I feel sorry for Lauren.

Me too. We're gonna have to be her family now, guys.

- Where is Mr Shepherd? - (Boy) Yeah?

I don't know.

# To see if reindeers really know how to fly...

I think I can help.

- Do you know where Mr Shepherd is? - Yes.

- Where? - He's gone to find the Christmas spirit.

But where is it, exactly, the address?

Follow your nose and you'll find it.

Why don't you take Lauren and go and look for Mr Shepherd

and, well, I'll look after the children?

(Mr Poppy) Hm, you've changed.

- Well, I am their Uncle Henry, right? - (All) Yeah!

Thanks, Uncle Henry. You're a star. See you, kids.

OK, who wants a triple chocolate Christmas shake?

- (All) Me! - Follow me.

(All) Yeah!

# And so I'm offering this simple phrase

# To kids from 1 to 92

# Although it's been said many times, many ways

# Merry Christmas to you #

Yes, I will.

She said yes!

We're never gonna find him.

We will, we just need to keep trying.

He could be up there or he might have gone down that way.

But I want him now.

I know you do, but we haven't even searched all this.

We haven't even been to the park. We haven't been up there.

I want my daddy.

I know you do

and I really wanna try and find him but I dunno where he is.

(Mr Poppy) 'If you don't believe, Mr Shepherd, you won't receive.

(Lauren) 'Magic fairy dust that Mum left us.'

(Mr Poppy) 'Believe, Mr Shepherd.'

(Lauren) 'You've got to believe, Dad. You've got to believe.'

Lauren!

Lauren!

Lauren! Oh, baby!

Oh, Lauren!

I'm so sorry... Oh, God!

I'm so sorry, darling. I'm so sorry.

I'll never forget you ever again. I'll never forget you.

Thank you, Mr POPPY-

- Thank you for looking after her and us both. - That's OK.

(Clock chimes)

There's still time.

We can make it to the church and you can marry Sophie.

Oh, don't worry about the wedding now.

We've got to make Lauren's Christmas wish come true.

Please, Daddy. You've got to marry Sophie.

Please, Daddy. Please!

- Well, come on, then. - Let's do it.

(Knock on door)

Come in.

- Henry. - More of these.

Thank you.

Miss Ford, there's a saying in my family goes way back,

just for occasions like this.

Just before you say "I do",

always take a moment or two.

Come on!

Come on!

Bradley, do you take Sophie for your lawful wife, to have and to hold,

from this day forward for better, for worse,

for richer, for poorer, for as long as you both shall live?

I do.

Sophie, do you take Bradley for your lawful husband,

to have and to hold, from this day forward,

for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer,

for as long as you both shall live?

Sorry, can I just, um...

I'm just going to need a minute if...

(Mouths)

(Mouths)

I'm... I can't.

I'm sorry, I can't.

This isn't right. This... this isn't...

No...

Bradley, this is not my dream. It's yours.

You deserve more, Bradley, and it's not me.

I'm so sorry.

I just can't.

# Have a little faith

# Light a little light

# Everyone is gonna have their wish tonight

# Just close your eyes

# And count to three

# And find yourself believing...

(Mr Poppy) That's right, Sophie.

Tonight I, the snow pig,

am gonna make your Christmas wish come true.

Believe.

Take it away, Mr Shepherd.

Rock out.

# I woke up from my dreaming

# He woke up

# I saw all of the signs

# All the signs

# I got back all of the feelings

# So I'm no longer blind

# He's not blind

# I took a look in the mirror

# He just looked

# Just to see what I'd see

# What you'd see

# I saw a new happy person

# Staring back at me

# Well, it must be love

# It's love, it's love

# Yeah, it must be love

# It's love, it's love

# Well, it must be love that I am feeling

# Yeah, it must be love

# I remember your loving

# It's come back

# All the things that you do

# Memory's back

# How you drink all my coffee

# Take all my biscuits too

# She's the one

# How your beautiful laughter

# How she laughs

# Was the light of my life

# She's his life

# Said we'd love ever after

# So will you become my wife?

# Well, it must be love

# It's love, it's love

# Yeah, it must be love

# It's love, it's love

# Well, it must be love that I am feeling

# And I'm on my knees

# Oh, hallelujah

# And I've got a box

# Give him the box

# And I'm opening the box so that you'll wear my ring

# And maybe wash my socks

# Well, I'm taking the ring

# She's taking the ring

#And I'm putting it on my finger

# It's on her finger

# But it doesn't fit because it never fit

# Cos you never checked my size but it must be love

# It's love, it's love

# Yeah, it must be love

# It's love, it's love

# And it must be love that we are feeling

# And we've got our girl

# Our wish come true

# And she's our whole world

# And we both love you

# And we're gonna be the family that you always wanted

# Wait and see

# Well, it must be love

# It's love, it's love

# Yeah, it must be love

# It's love, it's love

# And it must be love

# That I am feeling

# It must be love #

(Mr Shepherd) Wey-hey-hey!

(All) Yeah!

Archie!

(Children) Archie!

Archie's back. Kids, who's up for a flashmob?

We made it to the top of the Empire State Building.

Let's have a flashmob wedding.

# High, high, high, we just can't wait

# Higher than the Empire State

# High, high, high, we just can't wait for New York

# High, high, high, we just can't wait

# Higher than the Empire State

# High, high, high, we just can't wait for New York

# We're going ho, ho, ho

# Light up, light up

# We're going ho, ho, ho

# Light up the sky

# We're going ho, ho, ho

# Light up, light up

# We're gonna dance until we fly

- # Cos there's a party in the sky - Arrest that snow pig, he stole my flight.

- Take him downtown, officers. - # We're gonna dance until we fly

# Hey, we're Christmas shopping

# Yay, we're Christmas shopping

# We are Christmas shopping and we're not stop, stopping

# Yay, we're Christmas shopping, shopping like we're popping

# And we're shop, shop, shopping till we're drop, drop, dropping to the ground

# This is our Christmas song

# And Christmas don't last long

# So reach out for the Christmas that's in you

# This is our Christmas song

# Sing out and sing it strong

# And all your Christmas wishes really will come true #

Hey, New York. Watch this donkey shake his arse.

(All) Archie, Archie, Archie!

(Cheering)

# Hey, dude, where's my donkey?

# Hey, dude, where has it gone?

# My wife is having a baby and we have no donkey to ride on, ride on

# Hey, dude, seen my donkey?

# Hey, dude, I need a rest

# My donkey should carry Mary, gotta get this off my chest

# Hey, dude, where's the donkey?

# Hey, dude, where is he at?

# I've got to get to a stable cos I'm tired and I'm fat

# Dude, he's sure gone off track

# I want my donkey, baby, yeah

# I want my donkey back, I want him back

# Dude, he's sure gone off track

# I want my donkey, baby, yeah

# I want my donkey back, I want him back #

# Ooh, stay up all night

- # This is Santa - # Ooh, stay up all night

- # Santa is the man - # Ooh, stay up all night

- # Santa is the man - # Ooh, stay up all night

- # Santa is the man - # Ooh, stay up all night

# Santa is the man

# Let's take a trip, we'll take a flight upon a big sleigh ride

# Across the stars, across the moon, we wanna stay up all night

# Stay up all night

# One, two, three, four, leave my presents at the door

# Five, six, seven, eight, you had better stay up late

#9,10,11,12, get yourself a little elf

#13,14,15,16, 50, 80, Santa, baby

# Ooh-woo-hoo

# Ooh-woo-hoo

- # Stay up all night - # I said hip, I said hop

- # I said hip-hop, Santa's gonna stop - # Ooh, stay up all night

- # He's got the moves like Santa - # Ooh, stay up all night

- # He's got the grooves like Santa # - # Ooh, stay up all night #

# Take this light of mine

# Lead me to a hope divine

# And though the stars are faded

# Never mind the jaded

# Wish upon a Christmas time

# Though the stars are faded

# Never mind the jaded

# Wish upon a Christmas time #

Subtitling by Motion Picture Solutions

(Hee-haw)