All language subtitles for A Night at the Opera - engl

- The gentleman has not arrived?
- No, he has not.

Why, I'm afraid
the dinner will be spoiled.

What difference does it make?
It's too late to dine now.

- Oh, boy.
- Yes, madam.

Will you page
Mr. Otis b. Driftwood, please?

- Mr. Driftwood!
- Ha-ha-ha!

Boy, will you do me a favor
and stop yelling my name

all over this restaurant. Do I
go around yelling your name?

- Mr. Driftwood!
- Say is your voice changing?

Or is somebody else
paging me around here?

- Mr. Driftwood!
- Why, Mrs. Claypool, hello!

Mr. Driftwood, you invited me
to dine with you at 7:00.

- It is now 8:00, and no dinner.
- What do you mean no dinner?

I just had one of the biggest
meals I ever ate in my life.

And no thanks to you, either.

I've been sitting right here,
since 7 o'clock.

Yes, with your back to me.
When I invite a woman to dinner,

I expect her to look at my face.

That's the price she has to pay.

Your check, sir.

[Whistles]
$9.40? This is an outrage!

If I were you,
I wouldn't pay it.

Now, then, Mrs. Claypool, what
are we gonna have for dinner?

- You've had your dinner.
- Alright, we'll have breakfast.

- Waiter!
- Yes, sir.

- Have you got milk-fed chicken?
- Yes, sir.

Well, squeeze the milk out of
one and bring me a glass.

Yes, sir.

You promised to put me
into society.

In all that time,
you've done nothing

but draw a very handsome salary.

You think that's nothing, huh?

How many men do you
suppose are drawing

why, you can count them
on the fingers of one hand,

I'm not your good woman!

Don't say that, Mrs. Claypool.

I don't care what
your past has been.

To me, you'll always be my good
woman, because I love you.

There. I didn't mean
to tell you but you,

you dragged it out of me.
I love you.

It's rather difficult
to believe that

when I find you
dining with another woman.

That woman?
Do you know why I sat with her?

- No.
- 'Cause she reminded me of you.

- Really?
- Of course.

That's why I'm sitting
here with you,

because you remind me of you.

Your eyes, your throat,
your lips...

Everything about you reminds me
of you...

How do you account for that?

If she figures that one out,
she's good.

Mr. Driftwood, I think we'd
better keep everything

how do you like that?
Every time I get romantic

with you,
you wanna talk business.

I don't know.
There's something about me

that brings out the business
in every women.

You see that man over there
eating spaghetti?

Mrs. Claypool: No.

Well, you see the spaghetti,
don't you?

'\

None other than
Herman gottlieb...

Director of the
New York opera company.

- Do you follow me?
- Yes!

Well, stop following me,
or I'll have you arrested!

Now, I've arranged for you
to invest

$200,000 in the
New York opera company.

- I don't understand.
- Don't you see?

You'll be a patron of the opera.

You'll get into society.

And you can marry me, and they
will kick you out of society...

And all you've lost is $200,000.

- Oh, Mr. Driftwood.
- Oh, gottlieb. Allow me.

Mrs. Claypool, Mr. Gottlieb.
Mr. Gottlieb, Mrs. Claypool.

Mrs. Claypool, Mr. Gottlieb.
Mr. Gottlieb, Mrs. Claypool.

Mrs. Claypool, I could go on
like this all night,

but it's tough on my suspenders.

Now, where was I? Oh, yes.

Mrs. Claypool, Mr. Gottlieb.
Mr. Gottlieb, Mrs. Claypool.

- Mrs. Claypool, Mr. Gottlieb.
- Oh, what are you doing?

Now, if you four people
want to play bridge,

don't mind me, go right ahead.

Mrs. Claypool, I'm so happy.

I just wanted to see
if your rings were still there.

Mrs. Claypool, you're as
charming as you are beautiful.

I'm afraid you've used that
speech before, Mr. Gottlieb.

'\

Making love to Mrs. Claypool
is my racket.

You better make it sound
plausible, because

Mrs. Claypool isn't
as big a sap as she looks.

I think the Europeans
do it better.

Alright, gottlieb, it's your
turn, you take a whack at her...

And keep it clean.

Mrs. Claypool, it is most
generous of you to help us.

Now, you have, of course,
heard of Rodolfo lassparri.

- Oh, of course.
- Oh...

He's the greatest tenor
since caruso.

- Yes.
- Tonight, uh...

With the money
you so generously provide

I sign lassparri
for the opera company.

All New York will be
at your feet.

Well, there's plenty of room.

And now, the, uh,
the opera awaits us.

If you both will honor me
by occupying my box.

- I should be charmed.
- And you, Mr. Driftwood?

Well, uh, I'll join up
with you later.

Now, listen, gottlieb,
nix on the lovemaking,

because I saw
Mrs. Claypool first.

Of course, her mother
really saw her first,

but there's no point in bringing
the civil war into this.

What are you doing in my
costume?

Take it off at once,
do you hear?

Why, you...

You...

Take off that dress,
do you hear me?

You dumb idiot, you do what
I say, or I'll break your neck!

Do you hear me?
Take off that dress!

If I get my hands on you, you
will never hear the end of this!

You're no longer my dresser,
you're fired!

Get out.
Do you hear me? Out you go.

And don't come back
in here again.

Don't you care.
You're lucky to be rid of him.

- Oh. Good evening, Rosa.
- Good evening, signore.

Tomasso, why don't you come in?
I've been waiting for you.

Are they not beautiful,
signorina?

From signor lassparri.

If they were the only flowers
in the world!

[Knock on door] Come in!

Oh, no. Not if you're gonna
use that tone.

Now, let's try the whole thing
all over again.

Only this time, try to be
a little more cordial.

[Knock on door] Come in.

Ah, that's better.
Now, let's try it once more.

[Giggling]
No, Ricky. You're such a fool.

Now, what was it you wanted
to see me about?

Oh, I suppose I sent for you?

Well, you meant to.
Didn't she, Marie?

Ah, look, here it is the last
night of the season

and I'm more in love with you
than ever.

Now, what're you gonna
do about it?

Oh, Ricardo, we have all summer
to talk that over.

Tonight,
we have to sing an opera.

We have to sing an opera?
You have to sing an opera.

I'm nothing but
a glorified chorus man.

- Don't say that.
- I've got to say it.

I've got something else to say.

Unless that big ham
lassparri asked you first.

- He has asked me first.
- Just my luck.

But I'm having supper with you,
riccardo.

Hooray! We'll have champagne,
music, flowers...

"Lassparri."

Oh, no. No flowers.

- Well, fiorello!
- Tony!

Where have you been
all these weeks?

Oh, here, there,
different places.

You got some mail for me?

Mail for you?
You don't work here.

Alright, so where am I gonna get
my mail? I no work anyplace.

- Shh!
- Shh!

- Hey, not so good.
- Shh, shh!

You got something for me, too?
What do you got?

Where's... where's riccardo?

- Alright.
- Shh.

- Fiorello!
- Ricardo!

Nice to see you.
What are you doing here?

I thought you were out
with the circus.

The circus?
When was I with the circus?

Oh, I nearly forgot.

It was a long time ago,
last week.

Why, since then
I have lots ofjobs.

Your piano and my voice.

You know all those years we
studied at the conservatory,

oh, what's a matter with you?

We're still young.
We've got our health.

Someday, riccardo,
you're gonna be

where lassparri is.

Why, when you were little boy,
six years old,

you sing better than lassparri.

Yeah, maybe I was better at six
than I am now.

Ah, you make me sick. You crazy.

Why, you sing
better than lassparri

ever could sing,
and you know it.

Alright, I know it
and you know it,

- alright. We tell the public.
- How?

What you need is a manager.

A wise guy,
somebody who's very smart.

Hey... I know
just the man for you!

- You do? Who is it?
- Me! [Laughs]

But you wouldn't make
any money at it.

Alright, I'll break even. Just
as long as I no lose nothing.

Is the opera over yet?

Not yet, signore,
in a few minutes.

Hey, you, I told you
to slow that nag down.

On account of you,
I nearly heard the opera.

Now, there, once around
the park, and drive slowly.

And none of your back talk.

You're still crazy about her?

And she's crazy about you, too?

Even if she was,
I couldn't ask her to marry me.

Hey, don't worry. The manager,
he'll fix everything.

You and me,
just like old times, eh?

- Yeah, like old times.
- Yeah, you bet my life.

If you pardon my saying so,
Mrs. Claypool...

Mr. Driftwood seems to me
hardly the person

to handle your business affairs.

I'm beginning to think
the same thing.

Well, I made it.
How soon does the curtain go up?

The curtain, Mr. Driftwood,
will go up again next season.

You've missed the entire opera.

Well, I only missed it
by a few minutes.

Then, I can go then, eh?

Well, Mrs. Claypool,
was I right?

Isn't lassparri the greatest
tenor that ever lived?

But what did you
have to pay him?

No matter what we pay him.

Why, he would be worth
$1,000 a night.

- How much?
- $1,000 a night.

$1,000 a night. What does he do?

What does he do? He sings.

And you're willing to pay him
$1,000 a night just for singing?

Why, you can get a phonograph
record of minnie the moocher

for $1.25, you can get minnie.

Well, if you'll excuse me,
Mrs. Claypool...

I think I had better arrange
to see lassparri immediately.

You are agreed, $1,000 a night?

Just as you think.

$1,000 a night.
There must be some way

I can get a piece of this.

Wait a minute.
Why don't I sign lassparri?

But I represent
the New York opera company.

Now, boy? Will you give my card
to signor lassparri, please?

What is it? What do you want?

- Rosa.
- Yes, signore?

My good friend Herman gottlieb
is coming back to see me.

How would you like
to have supper with us?

I'm terribly sorry,
signor lassparri,

oh, I see...

Well, that's too bad,
because I have an idea,

he's going to invite me
to sing in New York.

And, uh...

He may permit me
to select my leading lady.

Are you sure you can't break
your appointment?

I'm terribly sorry, signore,

What do you mean by humiliating
me in front of those people?

You're fired, do you understand?
You're fired.

Hey, big bully, what's the idea
of hitting that little bully?

Will you kindly let me handle
my own affairs? Get out.

Now, what do you
got to say to me?

Just this. Can you sleep on your
stomach with such

why, you...

Nice work, I think you got him.

That'll bring him to.

You're sorry
for what you did, eh?

That shows a nice spirit.

'\

- How do you do?
- Hello.

- What's the matter, mister?
- Oh, we had an argument.

He pulled a knife on me,
so I shot him.

Do you mind if I...

No, no. Go right ahead.
Plenty of room.

Well, things seem to be getting
better around the country.

I don't know.
I'm a stranger here myself.

Say, I just remember. I came
back here looking for somebody.

You don't know who it is,
do you?

It's a funny thing,
it just slipped my mind.

Oh, I know, I know.
The greatest tenor in the world.

- Why, I'm his manager.
- Whose manager?

The greatest tenor in the world.

The fellow that sings at the
opera here?

What do you care?
I can't pronounce it.

Well, uh, I want to sign him up

for the New York opera company.

Do you know that america is
waiting to hear him sing?

Well, he can sing loud,
but he can't sing that loud.

Well, I think I can get america
to meet him halfway.

You pay him enough money,
he could sail yesterday.

How much you pay him?

Well, I don't know. Let's see...

- How about $10 a night?
- 10, $10?

Alright, but remember, I get 10%

yes, and I get 10%
for being the manager.

Well, that leaves him, uh...

- $8.
- $8, eh?

Well, he sends $5 home
to his mother.

- Well, that leaves $3.
- $3.

Can he live in New York on $3?

Like a prince.

Of course,
he won't be able to eat,

but he can live like a prince.

However, out of that $3,
you know,

he'll have to pay an income tax.

Oh, his income tax...

Yes, you know,
there's a federal tax,

and a state tax,
and a city tax...

And a street tax,
and a sewer tax.

Well, I figure if he doesn't
sing too often,

- alright, we take it.
- Alright, fine.

'\

You just put his name
at the top,

and, uh, and you sign
at the bottom.

There's no need
of you reading that,

yeah, it's a duplicate, I see.

- Duplicates, eh?
- I say, they're duplicates.

Yeah, sure, is a duplicate.

Don't you know
what duplicates are?

Sure, those five kids
up in Canada.

Well, I wouldn't
know about that.

I haven't been
in Canada in years.

- What does it say?
- Well, go on and read it.

Alright, I'll read it to you.

- Can you hear?
- I haven't heard anything yet.

Well, I haven't said anything
worth hearing.

Oh, that's why
I didn't hear anything.

Well, that's why
I didn't say anything.

Can you read?

I can read, but I can't see it.

Don't seem to have
it in focus here.

If my arms were a little longer,
I could read it.

You haven't got a baboon
in your pocket, have you?

Here, here, here we are.
I've got it...

Now, pay particular
attention to this first clause

because it's most important.
[Clears throat]

It says the, uh...
"The party of the first part

shall be known in this contract
as the party of the first part."

How do you like that?
That's pretty neat, eh?

No, it's no good.

I don't know.
Let's hear it again.

It says the, uh,
"the party of the first part

shall be known in this contract
as the party of the first part."

That sounds a little better,
this time.

Well, it grows on you. Would you
like to hear it once more?

Uh, just the first part.

What do you mean?
"The party of the first part?"

No. The first part of
"the party of the first part."

Alright, it says, "the, uh...

"The first part of the party
of the first part,

"shall be known in this contract
as the first part of the party

of the first part, shall be
known in this contract..."

Look, why should we quarrel
about a thing like this?

- We'll take it right out, huh?
- Yeah. It's too long anyhow.

Now, what do we got left?

Well, I got about
a foot and a half.

Now, it says the...

"The party of the second part
shall be known

in this contract as the party
of the second part."

Well, I don't know about that.

'\

I don't like
the second party either.

Well, you should have come to
the first party.

We didn't get home till around
four in the morning.

I was blind for three days.

Hey, look, why can't the first
part of the second party

be the second part of the first
party? Then you got something.

Well, look, uh, rather
than go through

all that again,
what do you say...

Now, uh, now, I've got something
here you're bound to like.

- You'll be crazy about it.
- No, I don't like it.

Whatever it is, I don't like it.

Well, don't let's break up
an old friendship

over a thing like that.

- Ready?
- Okay.

Now, the next part, I don't
think you're going to like.

Well, your word's
good enough for me.

Now, is my word
good enough for you?

I should say not.

Well, that takes
out two more clauses.

Now, “the party
of the eighth part..."

- No, that's no good, no.
- No?

- “The party of the ninth..."
- No, that's no good, too.

Hey, how is it my contract
is skinnier than yours?

Well, I don't know,
you must have been

out on a tear last night.

But anyhow, we're all set now,
aren't we?

- Ah, sure.
- Now, just, uh...

Just you put your
name right down there,

and then the deal is, is legal.

I forgot to tell you,
I can't write.

Oh, that's alright, there's no
ink in the pen, anyhow.

But, listen, it's a contract,
isn't it?

- Oh, sure.
- We've got a contract.

'\

Hey, wait, wait.

What does this say here?
This thing here.

Oh, that?
Oh, that's the usual clause.

That's in every contract.

Thatjust says, uh...
It says, uh...

"If any of the parties
participating in this contract

"are shown not to be
in their right mind,

the entire agreement
is automatically nullified."

It's alright.
T... that's in every contract.

T... that's what they call
a sanity clause.

[Laughs] You can't fool me.

There ain't no sanity claus.

Well, you win
the white carnation.

- I'll give this to riccardo.
- Sensation in New York.

Pardon me. Could you tell me
where signor lassparri is?

Sure. There's lassparri.

Lassparri? Then whom did I sign?

You signed riccardo barone.
That's my man.

Signor lassparri, what happened?

Gottlieb: Speak to me.
It's me, it's gottlieb.

Speak to me, it's me.
It's gottlieb.

[Gasp] What is this now?

How early the fruit
is falling this season.

Are you sure you have
everything, Otis?

I've never had
any complaints yet.

Well, here you are.

On your way to america and fame.

Oh, riccardo,
I'm going to miss you.

How do you think
I feel about it?

Oh, miss castaldi,
all ready for the big trip?

This is riccardo barone
of the opera company.

- How do you do?
- Barone? Did you say barone?

Is it as funny as all that?

Mr. Otis b. Driftwood
seems to think that

you have quite a voice.

Really he has,
a wonderful voice.

- Yes, really I have.
- Well, that's interesting.

- Oh, rodolpho.
- Rosa...

- Come on, riccardo, come on.
- No, thanks.

Come on, Ricky!

- Signor lassparri.
- Yes?

Will you give
us a farewell song?

- Oh, please!
- Please...

- Yes, sing us a song.
- Comeonm

my dear friends, I am so sorry,
I must be excused.

But I have a slight touch of
laryngitis.

- Where's Rosa?
- Yes, Rosa!

Why should I sing for them
when I'm not being paid for it?

- Please sing.
- No.

Yes, of course I'll sing.

J' I'll find you
in each dream I dream I

j' I'll count the hours
when we are apart I

J' alone with the sky
of romance above I

j' alone when you
whisper goodbye my love j'

I but I will still
remember the happiness I

j' and though I may be alone I

J' as long as I find you
in every dream j"

j' I know
I'll see you each night

j' in the starlight's gleam j“

j' and in those magic moments I

I I'll have you for my own I

j' till we are together we two j'

J' alone with a sky
of romance above I

j' alone when you
whisper goodbye j“

I my love j'

j' the happiness we've known I

j' and though I may be alone I

J' as long as I find you j'

j' in every dream I

j' I'll see you each night j“

j' in the starlight's gleam j“

there must be a place
for him in New York.

Someday, perhaps,
when he has made a reputation.

J' till we are together I

- All visitors, ashore!
- Rosa!

- Fiorello!
- Ahh!

- Oh, we've come to say goodbye.

- Have a good time.
- Ahh!

Fiorello: Alright, goodbye.
Arrivederci.

Hey! Come on, come on!

J' the happiness we've known I

- Alright, take it away.
- Yes, sir.

Hey, have I got time to go back
and pay my hotel bill?

- Sorry. Too late.
- That suits me fine.

J“ alone alone till
we are together j“

Hey! Hey, that's mine.

A trunk thief, eh?
Where you going with that?

- Suite number 58, sir.
- 58? That's me.

Let's go.

What's your idea?
Hit-and-run driver, huh?

I... I'm sorry, sir.

Sorry, my eye.
Look at that Fender.

It's all bumped out of shape.

You'll pay for this, my good
man. Let me see your number.

32, eh? You got any insurance?

- What? No, sir.
- Are you insured?

Well, you're just
the fellow I want to see.

I have here an accident policy

that absolutely protects you
no matter what happens.

If you lose a leg,
we'll help you look for it.

And all this will
cost you is, uh...

What have you got there?
A dollar?

$1. Here you are.

Suite 58, and don't go over
20 miles an hour.

Say, was that three fellows
or one fellow with three beards?

Hi, gottlieb,
always beating around the bush.

- Wait a minute.
- [Woman crying]

- Just a little homesick.
- That's funny.

I happen to have with me
the greatest prescription

for homesickness you ever saw.

A fellow gave it to me
just before the boat sailed.

Here's the prescription,
and take it every two hours.

[Laughs] Oh!

I'm going out and getting
another prescription.

- Ah, hello, toots.
- Hello.

Say, pretty classy layout
you got here.

Do you like it?

Ah! Twin beds.
You little rascal, you.

- One of those is a day bed.
- A likely story.

Have you read any
good books lately?

Mr. Driftwood,
will you please get off the bed?

They'd probably say
you're a very lucky woman.

Now, will you please shut up
so I can continue my reading?

No, I will not shut up.

And will you kindly
get up at once?

I'll make you another
proposition.

Let's go in my room
and talk the situation over.

Well, uh, what situations
have you got?

I most certainly will not
go to your room.

Okay. Then I'll stay here.

I'll come, but get out.

Shall we say, uh, ten minutes?

Yes, 10 minutes.
Anything, but go.

Because if you're not
there in 10 minutes,

- with squeaky shoes on.
- Oh.

Hey, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

- This can't be my room.
- Yes, sir.

- Suite number 58, sir.
- 58?

That's an awful big number
for a birdcage this size.

Wouldn't it be simpler if you
just put the stateroom

say, who is responsible

for installing me
in this telephone booth?

Mr. Gottlieb picked it
out for you, sir.

Gottlieb, eh? Well, that's
awfully decent of him.

Did he pick out the whole room
or just the porthole?

I'm sure you'll
find it very cozy, sir.

Cozy? Cozy is hardly
the word for it.

- Anything else, sir?
- Yes.

Tomorrow you can take the trunk
out and I'll go in.

Yes, sir.

J“ sing ho for the open highway j'

j“ sing ho for the open road j“

j“ with the ah-ha-ha
ha-ha ha ha j“j“

heho, boss.
What are you doing here?

Well, this makes
it a perfect voyage.

I'm terribly sorry, but
I-I thought this was my trunk.

It is your trunk.

I don't remember
packing you boys.

Remember riccardo barone,
the greatest tenor in the world?

You nearly signed him up once.

Oh, sure. I just delivered a
letter for you. How are you?

Pretty good. Thanks.
Just a little cramped.

As soon as we get out
in the open ocean,

there'll be plenty of room.

Say, isn't that my
shirt you've got on?

Hey, look, I don't know.
I found it in the trunk.

Well, it's nice seeing you
boys again.

But I was expecting my other
suit.

You didn't happened to see it,
did you?

Yeah. Took up too much room,
so we sold it.

- Did you get anything for it?
- Uh, $1.40.

That's my suit, alright.

Say, it's lucky I left another
shirt in this drawer.

That can't be my shirt.
My shirt doesn't snore.

Shh! Don't wake him up.
He's got insomnia.

He's trying to sleep it off.

That's as grisly a looking
object as I've ever seen.

Well, get him up out of there.

Well, I wish you fellows
would explain this thing to me.

Well, it's very simple.

You see, riccardo,
he's in love with Rosa.

Rosa, she go to New York.
We want to go to New York, too.

But we got no money,
so we hide in the trunk.

Well, if you got no money, what
are you gonna do in New York?

Well, I can sing. There must be
some place for me to work.

Besides, I can be near Rosa.
That's the main thing.

Well, you won't give us away,
will you, Mr. Driftwood?

No, but you fellows
have got to get out of here.

I've got a date with a lady
in a few minutes,

and, uh, you know
the old saying,

"two's company
and five's a crowd."

We go, but first
we want something to eat.

We no eat all day. We're hungry.

Well, we'll discuss
the food situation later.

We get food, or we don't go.

I know I never should
have met you fellows.

Alright, but you've
gotta promise

to scram out right
after you've eaten.

- Alright.
- I'll go and get the steward.

And you fellows be quiet.
Remember, you're stowaways.

- We no say nothing.
- Alright.

Now, just, uh...

Just put that
bag of jell-o over here. Huh!

Wouldn't it be simpler
if you just had him stuffed?

I'll go and get the steward
and...

Say, is it the door of the room
or am I in the trunk?

Oh, over here.

Be quiet, now.
Don't make any noise.

- We no say nothing.
- I'll get the steward.

- Stew!
- Yes, sir.

- I say, stew...
- Yes, sir.

- What do we got for dinner?
- Anything you like, sir.

You might have some
tomato juice, orange juice,

grape juice, pineapple juice...

Hey, turn off the juice
before I get electrocuted.

Alright,
let me have one of each.

And, uh, two fried eggs,
two poached eggs,

two scrambled eggs,
and two medium-boiled eggs.

Driftwood: And two hard-boiled
eggs.

Make that three
hard-boiled eggs.

And, uh, some roast beef: Rare,
medium, well-done, and overdone.

Fiorello: And two
hard-boiled eggs.

Make that three
hard-boiled eggs.

And, uh, eight pieces
of French pastry.

Driftwood:
And two hard-boiled eggs.

Make that three
hard-boiled eggs.

Uh, have you got any stewed
prunes?

- Yes, sir.
- Give them some black coffee.

It's either foggy out, or make
that 12 more hard-boiled eggs.

And steward, rush that along.
Because, the faster it comes,

the faster this
convention will be over.

Yes, sir.

Do they allow
tipping on the boat?

Oh, yes, sir!

- Have you got two fives?
- Yes, sir.

Well, then you won't need the
10 cents I was gonna give you.

Well, that's fine. If that
steward is deaf and dumb,

he'll never know you're in here.

- Oh, sure that's alright.
- Yes?

We've come to make up your room.

I can't tell
until they get in the room.

Come in, girls,
and leave all hope behind.

You've gotta work fast because

you've gotta get out
in 10 minutes.

Hey, tomasso, wake up.

They're going to fix the bed.

Say, there's a slight
misunderstanding here.

I said the girls had to work
fast, not your friend.

You know, he does better
asleep than I do awake.

Yeah, he always sleeps that way.

Yes, he's half-asleep
in a half Nelson.

- Alright, come on.
- Yes?

I'm the engineer.
I'm here to turn off the heat.

Alright, you can start
right in on him.

Tomasso,
we're going to eat soon.

You know,
if it wasn't for gottlieb,

I wouldn't have got this room.

- Yes?
- Did you want a manicure?

:\

I hadn't planned on a manicure.

But I think on a journey like
this, you ought to have

every convenience you can get.

Hey, listen,
I'm getting the manicure.

Get out of here, will you?

Did you want your nails
long or short?

You better make them short. It's
getting kind of crowded in here.

I don't know. This isn't the way
I pictured an ocean voyage.

I always visualized myself
sitting in a steamer chair,

with a steward
bringing me bouillon.

You couldn't get bouillon
in here unless

they brought it in
through a keyhole.

You know, I had a premonition
you were going to show up.

The engineer's right
over there in the corner.

You can chop your way
right through.

Say, is it my imagination, or
is it getting crowded in here?

Oh, I got plenty of room.

- Yes?
- Is my aunt minnie in here?

Well, you can come in
and prowl around if you want to.

If she isn't in here, you can
probably find somebody

just as good.

- Well, could I use your phone?
- Use the phone?

I'll lay you even money
you can't get in the room.

How do you do?

This boat will be in New York
before you get to that phone.

I came to mop up.

Just the woman I'm looking for.

You'll have to start
on the ceiling.

It's the only place
that isn't being occupied.

You can clean my shoes
if you want to.

Tell aunt minnie to send up
a bigger room too, will you?

- Steward.
- Ah, come right in.

- Hey, tomasso, the food!
- Steward.

We've been waiting
all afternoon for you.

- I want my aunt minnie!
- Here comes the food. Come on.

Ladies and gentlemen...

It is with great pleasure
that I welcome you all

on this, the final night
of the voyage.

I cannot let the evening pass

to our distinguished
guests of honor.

The three greatest aviators
in the world.

But you notice
they're traveling by boat.

We are honored
by your presence, gentlemen.

- Thank you.
- Thank you, captain.

- Do you rumba?
- Why, yes. Of course I do.

Well, take a rumba
from one to ten.

Mr. Claypool went to his
reward three years ago.

- And left you all alone.
- All alone.

Listen, gottlieb,
you're just wasting your time.

If Mrs. Claypool wants to marry
a fortune hunter...

- She's always got me.
- Fortune hunter?

As a matter of fact, you can
hardly call me a fortune hunter.

Because when I first
proposed Mrs. Claypool,

I thought she only
had $7 million.

But the extra million
never interfered

with my feelings for her.

If you had any real feeling for
me, you'd stop associating

with the kinda riffraff I've
seen you going around with.

I saw you around
the opera house with.

I'm grateful they're
not on board the boat.

- Why, have they slipped off?
- Sit down!

Hey, come on,
we find something to eat.

You know, if they catch us,
they'll deport us.

What do we gotta lose? If they
deport us, they gotta feed us.

Come on, we'll take a chance.

Does it mean nothing to you that

I'm the greatest singer
in the world?

But I love to hear you sing,
rodofio.

Oh, no, no, no...

Let me put it this way.
I love you.

I adore you.
I would die for you.

- Now, do you understand?
- I'm afraid I don't.

The whole thing is very simple.

When he says he's the greatest
singer in the world,

that means he loves you.

Personally, I don't believe
either statement.

Oh, you...

There may be something
in what you say.

I'll tell you something
confidenfiahy.

The only tenor
I could ever stand

was a fellow by the name of, uh,

- ever hear of him?
- Riccardo.

I wonder where he is right now.

Probably roaming
over the countryside some place.

He never could stand
being cooped up.

Well, tomasso,
you feel better now, eh?

And, you, riccardo,
how do you feel?

- Why, I could sing my head off.
- Glad to see you!

J“ it's a wonderful word
tra la la la j“

j“ cosi cosa cosi cosa j“

hey, stop that! Get away
from those instruments!

- What are you doing here?
- Please let him play.

Let him play.

It's alright with me.
Let him play.

J“ there's an old
Italian phrase j“

J“ every little bambina
learns it the very first day j“

j“ every sweet signorina j“

j“ says it the very same way j“

j“ these funny little words
don't really mean a thing j“

j“ it's just a phrase that
nowadays Italians love to sing j“

j“ it's a wonderful word
tra la la la j“

j“ when anyone asks you
how you are j“

j“ it's proper to say
cosi cosa j“

j“ if a lady should ask you
if you care j“

j“ you don't have to
start a love affair j“

j“ say cosi cosa j“

j“ does it mean yes no j“

j“ well yes and no j“

J“ get together
and sing tra la la la j“

j“ it's easy this way so
start today and learn to say j“

j“ cosi j“

J“ it's a wonderful word
tra la la la la j“

j“ if anyone asks you
how you are j“

j“ it's proper to say
cosi cosa cosi cosa j“

j“ if a lady should ask
you if you care j“

j“ you don't have to
start a love affair j“

j“ say cosi cosa j“

j“ does it mean yes no j“

j“ does it mean no
well yes and no j“

j“ get together
and sing tra la la la j“

j“ it's easy this way
so start today j“

j“ and learn to say cosi cosa j“

J“heyj“

j“heyj“

J“heyj“

J“ so start today and learn
to say cosi cosa j“

Those men, they can't be
passengers on this boat.

They must be stowaways.

Stowaways? We'll soon find out.

What are you, are you crazy?

Ha-ha. You got it. Fine.

Now, you go first
and see if it's safe.

Come on. Oh, no, no. Out you go.

You're alright, but the
boat's too far away.

Gentlemen, it gives
me great pleasure to...

Our distinguished guests
have asked me to represent

them and to act as
their interpreter.

Now, if you all follow me,
I'll take you to their cabin.

And if they're still in it,
very few of us

Pardon me,
our distinguished guests

they'll be right out.

Here, give me that.
Let's cut this short.

The whole thing is very simple.

They want you to go city hall,

and the mayor's gonna
make another speech.

We can tear up the mayor's
speech when we get there.

And, so my friends,
as mayor of this great city

I take pleasure in inviting
our distinguished visitors

to tell us something
about their achievement.

- Tell them you're not here.
- Suppose they don't believe me?

They'll believe you
when you start talking.

- Friends...
- Talk fast.

I see a man
in the crowd with a rope.

How we happen to come
to america is a great story,

when we first started out,
we got no idea

you give us
this grand reception.

And when I say
we don't deserve it

believe me, I know what
I'm talking about. Eh?

That's a novelty.

So, now I tell you how
we fly to america.

The first time when we started,
we get the halfway across

when we run out of gasoline.

And we got to go back.

Then I take twice
as much gasoline.

This time, we were just
about to land, maybe three feet.

When, what do you think,
we run out of gasoline again.

And back we go and get more gas.

This time, I take plenty gas.

When, what do
you think happened?

So, we gotta sit down
and talk it over.

We no take gasoline.
We no take the airplane.

And that, friends, is how
we fly across the ocean.

I'm going out to arrange
your bail.

This is the mayor again.

In introducing
another of our heroes

who will tell you
something of his exploits.

From now on, it's
every man for himself.

I would suggest you
make your speech

a little more direct
than your brother's.

What will you give me
to set fire to your beard?

Well, we're alright as long as
the water supply holds out.

Please, the radio. Your speech.

You know what, they may have to
build a dam in the back of him.

Hey, I think these
fellas are phonies.

- What's that you say?
- You heard me.

You hear what they say? They
say, they've never been so

insulted in their life and they
absolutely refuses to stay here.

No, no, please.
He didn't mean it.

Of course, you know
this means war.

Now see, what you've done!

I'm sorry. I'm awful sorry.

I apologize, and I
hope you're not offended.

Go on! After him! After him!

What are you singing
about? Read this.

[Whistling] What are
you gonna do?

Do?
The first thing I'm gonna do is

throw those two
gorillas out of here.

That goes for you, too.

Thought I got rid of those
mugs when I sold my trunk.

Kiddies! Come on,
everything is piping hot.

- Good morning.
- Oh, boy, I'm hungry.

Oh, read that. That will
take away your appetite.

No. That only makes me hungrier.

Come on. You're going
to be late forjail.

Well, those certainly went
like hot cakes.

You know, this isn't the way
I anticipated my breakfast.

I'm certainly getting
enough of you fellas.

- I no like cupcakes.
- No.

I know when I've had enough.

Say, wait a minute,
wait a minute.

That was a two-bit cigar.

- I just...
- [Laughing]

Oh, bad enough I have to smoke

those things
without eating them.

Glad I didn't bring my vest.

I forgot to tell you.

He ate your vest
last night for dessert.

Yes, and that's giving
him all the best of it.

Thought I had another
cigar on me.

He's going to smell
like a vegetable salad

you know, I've been looking
forward to this breakfast.

This is how it wound up.

- Well, I'll take a quart...
- A little of that, anyway.

Why don't you fellows be nice?

Get out of here
before I get arrested.

Nah, I'd like to stay
and see that.

If it's a policeman,
knock once more.

- That's good enough for me.
- Get out. Scram.

You remember me. I'm
Henderson, plainclothesman.

You look more like
an old clothes man to me.

- Nice place.
- Well, it's, it's comfortable.

Yes. Just me and my memories.

- I'm practically a hermit.
- Hmm, a hermit?

I notice the table
is set for four.

That's nothing. My alarm
clock is set for 8:00.

That doesn't prove a thing.

A wise guy.

Well, I'll take a
little look around.

- Hey, you.
- Coming.

What's a hermit doing
with four beds?

Well, you see those first
three beds?

- Yes.
- Last night...

I counted 5,000 sheep
on those three beds.

So I had to have
another bed to sleep.

You wouldn't want me to sleep
with the sheep, would you?

- Who're you talking to?
- I was talking to myself.

There's nothing you
can do about it.

I've had three of the
best doctors in the east.

Well, I certainly heard
somebody say something.

Oh, sheer folly on your part.

Why, that's a fire escape.

And, uh, that's a table.
And this is a room.

And there's the door leading
out. And I wish you'd use it.

I, I want to be alone.

You'll be alone when
I throw you in jail.

Driftwood: Isn't there a song
like that, Henderson?

Look out. He's
coming around the other way.

Get inside, quick. If he catc...

I believe, you mean the stretch
at the big house

if he sees you in here.
Don't let him catch you...

- Henderson: Hey, you!
- Coming.

What are you
referring to, colonel?

The last time I was in this
room, there were four beds here.

Please. I'm not interested
in your private life, Henderson.

[Groans] Oh!

Say... what's that
bed doing here?

There's something funny
going on around here.

But I'll get
to the bottom of it.

- Driftwood: Stairs right there.
- Look out!

- Driftwood: Be on your guard.
- Hey, you!

Am I crazy, or are
there only two beds here?

Now, which question do you
want me to answer first,

ahh! Say...

How... how did those
two beds get together?

Well, you know how those things
are. They breed like rabbits.

Let me tell you something.

I'll solve this if I have
to stay here all night.

Let me tell you something,
if you are gonna stay

here all night, you're gonna
have to bring your own bed.

- One bed!
- One bed?

Now they're all gone.
I know I am crazy.

I beg your pardon,
I must be in the wrong room.

J“ I'm gone j“

j“ as long... j“

j“ as long as I find you j“

j“ in every dream j“j“

oh, you thought you could come
to america without me, huh?

Oh, you fool.
You dear, dear fool.

Because I'm in love with you,
you call me a fool.

Well, there may be
something in that.

- But what are you doing here?
- Easiest thing in the world.

An open window,
a detective, and here I am.

Oh, riccardo,
you shouldn't have.

They'll... they'll only
send you back again.

Perhaps even put you in jail.

Well, I don't care, darling.
It's worth it.

Suppose, suppose
I go to Mr. Gottlieb.

Maybe he'd intercede for you.

Oh, gottlieb couldn't do
anything.

Besides, lassparri's
got to him first.

But there must be
something we can do.

- Who is it?
- Rodolfo: It is I. Rodolfo.

No. No, of course not.

Only, um, I was just going
to take a nap.

Rosa, why did you do this to me?

Whenever I want to see you,
you make some excuse.

You will not dine with me,
you will not ride with me,

you won't even take
a walk with me.

But, Rodolfo, you...
You know how busy I am.

Well, have you forgotten
that it was I

who... brought about
your debut in america?

No, no, I haven't forgotten.

Then why do you
treat me this way?

Rodolfo, I must
ask you to leave.

Oh, come now, my dear.
Be sensible.

If you ask me, I think she's
being very sensible.

You did not tell me you
had a previous engagement.

- Well, now you know it.
- And I apologize.

In a boudoir, two are
company, three a crowd.

- Just what do you mean by that?
- Please, riccardo.

Surely I have made
my meaning clear.

You have not heard
the end of this.

- I'm sure I haven't.
- You may be very sure.

- Good afternoon, Mr. Driftwood.
- Good afternoon, Tim.

- Ready for the opening tonight?
- Am I?

That's alright, boys.
I was young myself once.

Thank you.

All: Good morning,
Mr. Driftwood.

Splendid. Sing well
tonight, now.

Waiting for you, Mr. Driftwood.
Step right in.

Thank you, Otto.

- Nice day, isn't it?
- Driftwood: It has its points.

- Here you are, sir.
- Thank you, Otto.

Otto: That's alright,
Mr. Driftwood.

What's all this?
What's going on here?

You mean, what's
coming off here?

- You can't do that.
- Wanna bet?

And I'll break you,
my fine fellow.

If you think that
I'm going to, uh...

Well, I think, if you're
busy, I'll return later.

Just a minute, Mr. Driftwood.
We have some news for you.

To dispense with your
services immediately.

Dispense with my services?
Why, she hasn't even had them.

Iwarned you, Mr. Driftwood,

if you continued to associate
with those men,

everything would be
over between us.

And you've been
associating with them.

How do you know?
You couldn't find them.

You've disgraced me,
and the entire opera company.

So, as Mrs. Claypool's
new business manager

I must request you
to get out and stay out.

You can't fire me
without two weeks salary.

That's in section
10-a of my contract.

I find that you have overdrawn

your salary for the
next six months.

Well, in that case,
I'll take one week's salary.

You'll take nothing. Get out.

Well, if that's your best
offer, I'll get out,

but I'm not making
a nickel on it.

And as for you, Mrs. Claypool,
I withdraw my offer of marriage.

And that goes for you, too.

The thanks I get for working
my fingers to the bone.

- Alright, Otto.
- Just a minute.

This car is for officials.
Take the stairs.

- The stairs?
- Yeah.

Driftwood: I can't walk
all that distance.

I'm certainly glad
I met you boys.

First you get me
kicked out ofjob,

then you get me thrown
out of my hotel,

and finally you push
me off a park bench.

Well, there's one consolation.
Nothing more can happen to me.

Hey! Get off of the grass.

Well, I was wrong.

People drink too much
water, anyhow.

I'm certainly glad
you came along.

The day you boys
came in to my life,

I had a good job and was
about to marry a rich widow.

Now, I can't even
sit on the grass.

I'd give you my seat,
but I'm sitting here.

I tell ya, I'd like to think
it over for a couple of days.

Where can I find you?

Don't worry. Wherever
you are, you'll find us.

Oh, I'm sick of that.
Let's meet somewhere else.

Well, at least I can
get my bench back.

Don't feel so badly, riccardo.

Well, I can't feel very cheerful

about being
such a hoodoo to you.

We all make things bad for you.

- What's the matter?
- Hey.

What do you think, eh?
Lassparri.

- He's get Rosa fired.
- Lassparri?

Yes, he won't let her sing
tonight.

Well, what do you know
about that?

Well, we still all day
to think of some plan.

And believe me, the way I think,

I think it's gonna take all day.

- Good evening, Tim.
- Good evening, Mr. Gottlieb

- thank you, thank you.
- You're welcome, sir.

Ah, just the man I want to see.

Gottlieb, these are the
worst cigars I ever smoked.

Yes, and your ice isn't
cold enough, either.

Get out of here, all of you.
I shall send for the police.

I'll tell you
what we came here for.

Yeah. We make you a proposition.

Oh, so you're willing
to give yourselves up, are you?

Yes, if you let Rosa sing.

Well, I'm managing director,
and Rosa does not sing.

But the rest
of your proposition,

giving yourselves up,
that rather appeals to me.

Give me police headquarters.
Sergeant Henderson, please.

- Hello, toots.
- Well...

What are you doing here?
This is Mr. Gottlieb's box.

He couldn't come,
so he gave me his ticket.

And he couldn't get dressed,
so he gave me his clothes.

Hey shorty, will you
toss up that Kelly?

Atta boy. Here. Here.

Get yourself a stogy.

Gottlieb: [Knocking]
Open the door.

- Mrs. Claypool?
- Yes.

He's disappeared.
We can't find him anywhere.

You didn't look
in the right place.

But the speech.
He was to make a speech

before the curtain went up.

That's the cue.
You'd better say something.

But I never made
a speech in my life.

- Alright, I'll take care of it.
- You?

I guess that takes
in most of you.

Driftwood: This is the opening
of a new opera season.

A season made possible by the

generous checks
of Mrs. Claypool.

I'm sure the familiar
strains of verdi's music

will come back to you tonight.

Will probably come
back in the morning.

Tonight marks the American
debut of Rodolfo lassparri.

Signor lassparri comes
from a very famous family.

His mother was a
well known bass singer.

And his father was the
first man to stuff

spaghetti with
bicarbonate of soda.

Thus causing and curing
indigestion at the same time.

And now, on with the opera.
Letjoy be unconfined.

Let there be dancing
in the streets,

drinking in the saloons,
and necking in the parlor.

It's none of my
business, but I think

there's a brace of woodpeckers
in the orchestra.

Don't give up, boys.
The cavalry is coming.

- Aha!
- Mr. Gottlieb.

- I'll see you later.
- What are you doing?

It's alright.
It's just the Tarzan in me.

[Instrumental "take me out
to the ball game"]

Peanuts! Peanuts! Get your
fresh roasted peanuts, folks!

They're nice and hot!
Get your peanuts!

Here you are, peanuts!
Ah, peanuts, peanuts!

Ahh! There you are! You...

- Those clothes don't fit you.
- Why you...

Hey, you're getting to be
a good shot, tomasso.

The opera starts.
Now we really go to work.

The curtain's up.

- They've started.
- Now, don't worry.

Gottlieb: Someone open
the door here!

Gottlieb: [Banging on door]
Let me out of here!

Where are they?
Where did they go?

- What?
- “What?“ He asks me.

Did a couple of men
come up here?

- What?
- “What?“ All I get is “what?"

How would you like to feel
the way she looks?

I want him put out
of the opera house!

Yes, sir.

That's right.
You go talk to him.

We know he's in the
audience some place.

- Where's Mr. Gottlieb?
- The other side of the stage.

Come on, boys.

What was that?
High "c" or vitamin "d"?

What's the matter?
What happened here?

Mr. Gottlieb!
Here, give me a hand.

Where are those men?
Did you catch them?

No, sir. I'm sorry.
T... they're still out there.

I have an idea. Get me
two gypsy costumes at once.

:\

I will not sing unless
they are put off there.

Yes, sir.

Gottlieb: Stop! Don't you do...

Herr gottlieb! Lassparri,
he's disappeared.

- Then we haven't even a tenor.
- Mr. Gottlieb.

- You are barone.
- That's who I am.

Get into a costume quickly.

- What?
- I want you to sing...

But I have no reputation,
Mr. Gottlieb.

Besides, I couldn't sing
with a strange leonora.

You see, I've been rehearsing
with miss castaldi.

- So that's it.
- That's it exactly.

Alright. Get them two
costumes at once. Quick.

- Darling.
- Please, please.

After the opera.
Please, go ahead. Get ready.

Hey, you hear that?
That's real singing.

- Huh, so...
- Is this the opera house?

Arrest those men,
and this one, too!

Lassparri, where have you been?

Been? Do you know
what they did to me?

I'll sing them an encore
that they'll never forget.

Never in my life have I
received such treatment.

They threw an apple at me.

Well, watermelons
are out of season.

Rosa, barone,
get out there quick.

No, no. I'm under
arrest, Mr. Gottlieb.

If they're arrested,
I ought to be, too.

I can't sing if I'm arrested.

Oh, you! You!

- What do we do?
- We must have them.

They'll save the entire season.

- Well, what is it you want?
- Well, I...

Just a minute.
Let me handle this.

Alright! Only, quick, quick!
What do you want?

First, call off that police dog.

- Huh?
- Alright, anything, anything.

Just a minute.
These men are in this country

under false pretenses,
and I'm going to do my duty.

Besides, they came over
here with Mr. Driftwood.

Mr. Driftwood is an employee
of the opera company.

- Since when?
- Since barone started singing.

Wait till I get a hold
of guy that runs elevator.

Alright, anything. Please,
go out and sing, please.

- Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
- Please.

Before he sings,
you gotta sign a contract,

and I get 10 percent.

Yes, and I get 10 percent, too.

:\

"the party of the 10th part..."

- No! No.
- No?

"The party of the 11th part..."

- No! No.
- No?