Original subtitles

If you have a weak constitution and hear one of those signals, shut

Hello.

Our subject today, violence.

Four young girls caught in a web of violence.

These four young girls, call them teenage slasher sluts if you like.

I just did.

Their victims?

Men.

Call them slime balls if you like. I will.

What is it that make these young women do what they do?

Why do they do it? How do they do it?

Which one, what kind, and how many?

These are just six of the twenty three questions we'll be

answering in the next eighty seven minutes.

There they are.

Their attire disappoints me.

Let's listen in, okay?

And be quiet so I can hear them.

What about fuck shit, fucker?

The criminal mind at work.

Oh, Jesus. Is that a narrator? Looks like, it's kinda cute.

Waste it.

Let's ask Kate some questions.

Kate, why do you do it?

Every once in in a while, I like to wrap my fingers around

something hard and cold.

What? What? What?

Can I speak to you for a second? Fuck.

What's going on out there?

Carmen, act two. The crowd at the cafe is Don't hold me.

Oh, not that murders thing again. You're so boring.

Alright. I'll give it to you straight.

Mhmm.

For those who who are in the fight against that I'm trying

to tear up my pounds to stop them,

you can't be serious, mayor.

The lord has never let me down. Can you say that?

The lord has never let me down. No. Forget it. Look.

Just cut the mister Rogers business. Okay?

Hi, Bob. Hey, Shavon. Hey.

I bet you're thinking you just wanna go for an ice cold

moussey right about now.

Hey. Yeah. That's right. How do you know?

I'm psychic. Really? Yeah.

Oh, maybe you should have an animal for that. Hey.

What you got there?

It's a condo. No.

Really? Yeah.

Looks like one of the specific tapes.

No. No. No.

I found it in,

on the narrator.

Oh, you did? For where?

Did you ask it off, please? Oh. Don't worry about it.

You think it could be evidence?

No. I I still think it's one of those cassette tapes.

Why don't you put it in the blast and find out? Yeah.

Good idea.

Glad I thought of it.

Let's ask Kate some questions.

You're right. It is a cassette tape.

See, I do it with no condom for Kate.

Why do you do it?

Every once in a while, I like to wrap my fingers

around something hard and cold.

Shucks you blow more.

Shush. Wait. Wait. There's more.

Good son.

We're not going to tell the high school story now, are we?

We have to establish a motive for all this senseless violence sometime.

You're right.

I guess I'll go first.

Wait. You're gonna go into a flashback. Quick.

Flashback face.

I remember it as if it was yesterday.

It was the end of our senior year.

I was so excited the school was finally over. No more pencils.

No more books, no more teachers dirty.

So get on. Okay. Okay. Okay, Dean.

Now we're gonna try something totally new and totally original.

So just watch me. Okay?

Right

Go. Like that?

You're never gonna make the varsity squad with a cartwheel like that.

I was the head cheerleader.

Naturally, I was dating the captain of the football team.

His name was Fred.

He was big, strong, and handsome,

but he was also a man.

It's a surprise.

I got something special today.

Look, Fred.

I don't wanna sound like I'm complaining,

but your father's office building is not my idea of a special place.

It's not the place that's special.

It's what we're gonna do.

Amazing.

I was into school more than I was into guys.

I thought that getting a good education would take me far.

I didn't know just how far I was born. You got in.

Do you know when you ever hear your slip paper due tomorrow?

I was wondering if you done yours Why?

Because,

me and the guys want a copy You're not serious Sure I'm

serious If we don't have a paper we don't fucking pass the class.

Yeah. If we don't pass the class, we don't graduate.

Yeah. They might even kick us off the team.

Oh, wouldn't that be a shame?

Hey. What's the matter? Ain't you got no team spirit?

Four people handing the same term paper? Debt.

Hey, Diane.

Let me put it to you another way.

Oh, yeah.

Hey. You got your glasses?

You know, I think she looks better without them. Yeah.

I think you're right.

Besides, I don't think you're supposed to get girls glasses.

I think it's just the girls at all.

What about fucking taking them?

That's alright.

He was always the last

I didn't want the other girls to see my tattoo.

Gosh, Kate. I didn't know about that.

It's because I'm sensitive about it.

My hippie parents did it when I was a baby.

They said it symbolized the movement.

I just think they were stone.

Can I go on that?

Sure.

My mind was filled with thoughts of graduation and what lay ahead.

I decided to take one of those long, sexy, slow motion showers.

I just need to move.

Those bastards. You fucking bitch.

Something has to be done about them. Like what?

Tell the principal, the star football players, please.

Besides, the principal's a man too, but just let them off easy.

After all, boys will be boys.

We can't just let them get away with this.

You're right.

Slime balls.

They've gotta be stopped. What are we gonna do?

Meet me after the graduation ceremony.

Well, guys,

we list another graduation.

Yeah. But at least we're still on the team. Right?

And remember, next year,

there'll be a whole new class of freshman girls to entertain us.

Hey, Fred. You ever think we'll graduate?

Well, sure.

And tonight is

next.

We'll see you in hell.

Let's get them.

No.

I like to like to

The next day, we talked Kathy into joining us, and that's how it all began.

What a convenient bit of explanation.

What?

Do you realize what this is?

Did we ever go through this before?

It's the whole thing, Bob.

The killers, the identity, the where's, the what's, the

when's, the why's.

It's a whole confession. No.

No. No.

Fool me once?

Shame on you. Fool me twice?

Shame on

you.

Oh, no. That's one of those air cassette tapes, Shavon.

But but I try, Shavon.

But why why don't you try that on there, Goodman sometime?

But maybe he'll fall for it.

Moosie time.

Yeah.

Is that all?

Come on over here, and there'll be more.

Yeah. Hey.

Why don't you show us what you got?

Yeah. We're shy.

Close your eyes, and you'll get one hell of a surprise.

And you'll know I'm talking now.

And you'll know I'm joking, ma'am.

And if you pee, you won't get anything at all.

And what if we don't pee?

You'll get everything you deserve.

Everything?

Everything.

You were born.

Hey.

Would you eat the

Hi there. Good morning.

How are you today?

What's wrong, Bob? Why nothing? What?

What are you trying to tell me, Bob?

This is funny. This is really funny.

You see, I was at the office last night and I was leaving with my six pack of Musi.

I got in the car, I stir up the car,

and I I realized I don't have my pants on.

So I come back in, I put my pants on,

and then I go out and and the car is gone.

It's gone and all that was left was a six pack of mousse in my parking spot.

How the fuck could someone steal your car when it was

parked in front of the police station?

Well, you see it what?

Oh, well, my my my guess would be, hot wire, mayor Goodman, sir.

You're a jackal, bro.

I thought I was an asshole.

Last week, you called me an asshole.

Alright. You're an asshole, Bob. Thank you, mayor. Come on.

We'll take my car. We have to go over to the Gearhead bar.

They just found two more bodies in the back of the place.

Can I bring my moosey?

It's fine day, man. Very good.

That's, your car, isn't it, Bob?

Bitch and hood ornaments, dude.

Oh my god.

What do they did to it?

This blood.

I'm surrounded by Satan.

His disciples have sucked the life blood out of this once

I'll defeat Satan.

I'll turn this town back into the god

fearing community it once was.

I'll scare the love of god and the lord Jesus

Christ back into their eyes.

We knew what we were doing. There's no question about that.

We planned all along to sell the movie rights, make

millions, and buy a brownstone in Greenwich Village.

Besides, who would have sent us to jail?

It's Besides, who would have sent us to jail?

It's time you went after some town plot guys.

All those scuzz balls deserve to die.

What about Paul Rosani, the rapist? Yeah.

Hey. What a waste. He is so cute.

Everyone's cute to you. Not everyone.

The body count is up to eighteen as men in our area are

seemingly being slaughtered for no reason.

This is

this is one of those, candid camera things.

Right? With, what's his name? Allen Hunt. Right?

Allen Hunt. Yeah. No. It's not.

I think he really Oh,

god.

Do that again.

You like it? Yeah.

You've got a really big

I I got an even bigger tool than this.

You do? Yeah.

You wanna see?

I'd love to see that.

Yeah.

Thank you, God. Come into my luxurious pool.

This is a very relaxing time.

You know, I feel really lucky to be on a hot stud like you.

You know,

Sorry, sweetheart.

Hey. What the fuck?

Shut up.

Hey. You know, I got a lot of valuable words here.

You can take it if you want.

Down with this, please.

I went to I wouldn't do it. Hey. It was my idea.

I never get to do it. Diane, it is her turn.

Oh, okay.

Come on, baby. No. No. No. What? What's the start?

It was like being Charles Bronson.

You know, death wish and all that.

Plus Kate said the money would be great.

We'd sit around for hours thinking of ways to kill the guys.

You know, something unique and different.

It was like writing a book or a movie.

I think I like the Swizzle Sticks scene the best

though.

Definitely.

I don't believe it.

You know, it's all these r rated movies and these girly magazines and

all the rest of this porno stuff that puts sick ideas into

into people's minds.

I wouldn't be surprised if all these killings are tied to a a

porno movie or a or a film.

You got a perk there, mayor.

Hey.

Did you read that hot letter in this month's penthouse about

the guy and the two sisters who lived that far?

Hello? You can help?

Hi. Miss. I'm Trevor.

Can I use your phone?

Why, of course.

I appreciate it.

What's wrong?

What's wrong?

Missy, I kinda got myself into trouble.

My car broke down down the road.

Car, you don't look old enough to drive a car.

That's the problem or not?

My parents find out that I took the car.

I will be grounded from once.

They'll be getting my license soon,

and I'll be sixteen in five weeks.

Oh, really?

I'm sure we can do this without them finding out anything about it.

What's your name? I'm Diane.

Okay, Diane.

If I could just use your phone,

call some friends to come and get it and give me a ride home.

That won't be necessary. When are your parents coming home?

Oh, they're away for the weekend, not till Sunday.

Well, don't you worry.

I'll call a tow truck,

and we'll have this problem taken care of before you know it.

But I don't have any money.

Don't worry, dear.

I'll call the tow truck and have the problem taken care of

before you know it.

But how will I ever pay you back?

We'll think of something.

Now you be comfortable, and I'll go call the tow truck.

I thought you'd like something to drink,

so I brought you some wine.

Thanks.

I called the towing company,

and the truck won't be able to get here until the morning.

Oh, that's okay as long as it's back before they get home.

You sound like you don't like your parents.

They're too strict. You never get to have any fun.

I think I'm the only virgin left in my high school.

This is good.

You don't mind if I make myself comfortable, do you?

No. Not at all.

Bitch.

I've been noticing you're a very pretty girl.

You have glistening, pre pubescent breasts and well

rounded buttocks.

How nice of you to notice. You you really think so.

Yes. Definitely.

Thank you.

I really don't know how I'll ever repay you.

Well, there is one way.

What's that?

Tell me.

I hope you've been so kind. I'll do anything.

Anything?

Anything.

Anything at all?

Anything at

all.

Anything at all that you want.

Anything at all that I want, and you'll do it right now?

Anything at all that you want, and I'll do it right now?

Stop. Please. Enough. I can't take any more of this.

Who's that? What are you doing?

What's going on here? Shut up, Charles.

Just get this over with.

Show him your glistening breasts and then we'll shoot him.

Why do I have to show him my tits?

We don't have enough nudity in this movie. She's right.

We just saw Michelle's tits.

Yours are bigger. Oh, come on.

Breasts and blood, it's what America wants to see. Hey.

Where's Michelle?

She's asleep behind the chair.

Was it really that boring? It was. Oh, gosh. Unbearable.

Can I say something? No. Let's get it over with.

Why don't you kill him with these?

You almost killed me with them. Do I have to show him my tits?

Yes. Mhmm.

Jeez, you guys.

Well, you're very nice.

That was great, kid.

I thought you hated violence.

Kate wasn't really that bad.

Yeah. It was really terrible.

Rad phone. Major PMS.

Oh, she's an old bitch when she's like a bitch.

Month after month.

Girl.

Did you just, like, wanna shoot Yeah.

It was the sociological effect that interested me most.

Four teenage girls scared the shit out of thousands of these

huge bikers and rednecks.

We changed men's attitudes.

Well, at least for the time being.

Men were being courteous again.

They were dressing up, shaving, taking baths.

A woman could now walk into a bar, get a drink, and not be hassled.

The paper said that not one rape was reported after we

began our war.

Crime, well, except for ours, had virtually disappeared.

It's interesting how a little well targeted violence can make

the world so much more

polite.

Hey. You're trying to piss me off?

Hey, baby.

You say I put on a little real juice and,

you and I dance.

Fuck off, my man. Hey.

You try to piss me off, bitch?

You wanna dance?

Hey. You're pissing us off.

You're pissing me off.

It

was great.

It was terrible.

What happened?

These two creeps walk into the bar,

and one starts sitting on this woman sitting next to him.

Yeah. I'll bet. What happened?

Now these two guys were sitting in a bar's parking lot when an

angry group of women came out and dragged them inside.

Yeah. But they didn't even ask their permission.

So the woman in the bar tells the thief to screw Yeah.

He grabs her arm, and before you know it,

about a dozen women in the bar have guns pointed at his head.

The poor saps didn't stand a chance.

They beat them. They tortured them. They shot them.

Somebody told me one of Somebody told me one of these

guys was shot thirty five times,

and it was all for a moussey.

And then Linda, that's what this woman's name was,

pulled out a forty four magnum.

That's the wrong one. Right? Right.

And then she shoots both creeps in the

head.

And the rest of the women in the bar game are around to the front.

It doesn't even say for a man to get a beer this time anymore.

We're not even a moosey.

Did you stick around? That's the best part.

The mayor, sheriff Bob, and some deputies showed up,

and no one would tell them anything.

It's like there were these two dead bodies on the door,

and no one knows how they got there.

Even the bartender plays dumb,

but that asshole couldn't hear you.

Oh, he was ranting and raving, screaming.

I thought he was gonna have a heart attack.

So who did it? We don't know.

We're still investigating. Yeah.

Let's keep it going. Get any ideas? Yeah.

You can wait till you see the dress on it that to pull it off.

Oh, do you do your obligatory new team next?

I don't think so.

Kathy, do I take off my clothes in the next scene? Let me see.

After we drew straws, it was Michelle and Diane in that

order, each taking their tops off once.

Kate strips down to her underwear,

and I get to keep my clothes on.

I still say you cheated. Tell me about it.

So Kate, tell us about the straw. Is it hot? Hot?

Yeah. Can I help you?

Are you Tony?

No such person. I'm Guido.

But Tony's video sounds a hell of a lot better than Guido's video.

Got it?

I think Guido's a much sexier name than Tony.

You think so?

Definitely. Fits you perfectly.

Thanks.

I hear you have a lot of x rated videos.

A lot?

I got the best selection in the state.

Straight, gay, S and M, interracial, water sports.

You name it, I got it.

And just between me and you, I got some real hot kiddie porn too.

Oh, really? Yeah.

But what's a hot looking bed like you want with porn?

Turns me on more than anything.

Anything?

Anything at all.

Anything at all?

Anything at all in the world.

Anything at all in the world?

Anything at all in the world,

and I wanna see your collection right now.

Come on in the back room.

The box is alone and drive me wild.

Go for it.

You want Fucking not so broad.

Diane, have you seen Psychos in Love?

It's a great little flick that merges the urban neurotic

sensibility of a would be Woody Allen with all the sensitivity

of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

As patently offensive as it is,

it has an offbeat charm and a pair of sympathetic leaves that

keep you watching and chuckling through all the gratuitous gore

and lurid flesh.

I thought it was stupid.

Shall we?

Like what you see?

Yeah, kid.

You

got a great body.

You ever think of doing any porn yourself?

I got some rich clients that really get off seeing fresh new

faces performed for the camera,

if if you know what I mean.

Excuse me, sir.

What the fuck?

This douchebag just offered to make me a movie star.

Kate does Connecticut. No doubt.

I know what you was.

But you don't know who you're messing with.

There's me and my goodness.

When is he one of your rich clients who buys child porn from you?

We're just sending you all a special delivery.

So I'll have something to remember you about.

But you're so foul.

Michelle, you got blood on your shoes? Yuck.

The scumbusters have done it again.

Last night, two men were sauntered in cold blood at the

Satan's Log Bar in the downtown.

Uh-uh.

Because no response has been telling us all though.

But it seems that the victim entered the bar for a few

beers, began bothering an unidentified female customer,

after which numerous handles

According to mayor Goodman and sheriff Bob,

they are in hot pursuit of the scumbusters and plan to have

them captured shortly.

But sources at city hall tell us differently,

that the mayor and the sheriff have no clue and little or

nothing to go on.

We began to feel like heroes.

Even the local press was on our

side.

They called us the scumbusters.

It was great.

Stores started carrying scumbuster t shirts, maps of

victims' homes, and no one even knew who we were.

She's right, but,

don't you think we're a little shorthanded for a shootout?

How do you mean?

I can do that.

There's only four of us.

Good thing is bound out a small army by your side.

You gotta put it there.

Attractive female sharpshoot.

A

large breast.

Why large breast?

Because we sell your tickets.

Why do you wanna be a scumbuster?

Because you guys made an open season on men.

I could never hurt a harmless little animal,

but there's just something about hunting down scumbags

that gets my blood pumping.

And I know you girls are gonna go down in history and sell

your steward to some big book publisher, filmmaker.

And well,

I could really use the extra money.

Hey. Do you mind? This happens to be my lunch.

And while we're at it,

what's the story with all this gore gong gimmick garbage?

And whatever happened to the hooter honk?

You know what I mean?

Don't you think it's time we had some more gratuitous nudity

in this empirical epic?

Look, don't just stand there. Do something. Take a hike.

Get going. Let's go. Come on. Today.

Yeah. Come on in.

Yeah.

What do you want?

They ain't get all day, you know?

Are you mister Shasta?

Who the fuck do you think I am? Little bo peep?

I'm Lisa Mogoshis. I called about auditioning for you.

What can you do?

Act. I wanna be an actress.

An actress?

Yes, sir.

You know how many girls come through that door every day who

say they wanna be an actress?

No, sir. How many?

Seventeen.

Every day?

Every day.

That's a lot, sir.

You bet your little ass it is.

Now what makes you think you've got what it takes to be an actress?

Well, I'm willing to work real hard and it's what I've

wanted ever since I was a little girl.

Oh, wonderful. A childhood dream.

Well, dreams don't always come true, missy.

I I wanted to own and operate a seven eleven all my life,

and look at me.

I said, look at me.

Would you buy a Slippy from a guy like me?

No, sir.

Do you have pictures?

No.

You've got a nice look.

Girlish innocence peppered with, quiet sexuality.

Thank you, sir. Straighten up.

Turn around.

You got a great body, kid.

I think I might have a part for you in this movie I'm casting.

Really? Hold your horses. I didn't give it to you yet.

There are a lot of girls up for this part.

Girls are a lot more experienced than you.

Please, I'll do anything.

Anything.

Anything at all.

Anything at all.

Anything at all to get that part.

Anything at all to get the part?

I'll do anything to get that part, and I'll do it right now.

Will you do a nude scene?

A nude scene?

Yeah. You know, you take off your clothes and you're naked.

I guess so. Is it important to the plot?

Plot schmunt. People don't give a good fuck about plot.

They want tits. They want blood.

They wanna be entertained.

So will you take off your shirt or not?

Make up your fucking mind.

There are plenty of girls who'll huff their hoodies for this part.

Yeah.

I guess so.

Sure. Great.

Let me see.

Now? Hey.

For all I know, those could be your kid brother's socks under that dress.

You want the pot or not?

Okay.

Very nice indeed.

I think I'll be able to get you a lot of it.

Why don't you come a little closer?

I was fine with you.

Come on back here with me.

I don't see so

Jesus Christ.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Great. Look. I'm, just about to audition a new girl.

Yeah. I think she's gonna go far.

All the way, if you know what I mean.

Great. Look. I'll call you back later. What?

Yeah. I might take pictures.

Yeah. Great. Sure. Later.

Oh, yeah. Come on, guys. Can you see?

I think I got a really big pot.

Jesus fucking Christ.

Space. This dumb man has you any trouble.

Not really. But he really grosses me out.

I think this is yours.

Thanks.

So who gets the honors this time?

Do you wanna draw straws?

No. I think Lisa deserves the honors.

It'll be my pleasure, but shooting him in the head is

too fast and simple.

He deserves to suffer.

You can always shoot his dick off.

And then say,

never mind.

I, have to talk to him.

No one asked you, shyster. Oh, that sounds good.

Who has my gun?

Who has the silencer?

I left the silencer at home.

I wanted to tell you to bring it, but I forgot.

I hate the sound of that bang.

Mister Shraddler,

what happened to that big part she had for me?

Good line. Thanks.

Hey.

What if we get

It's getting so that a man can't walk in the street alone anymore.

It's got to stop before it's to wait.

Yeah.

Most of my friends won't even go out at night for a beer.

They stay home with the doors locked.

One of our neighbors got beat up in a bar.

I put an extra lock on my door. Yeah. A bitch on the radio.

What's it in? Charlene Cheating. Yeah.

She's for all your scumbusters.

Yeah. Well, that's why we brought you men over here.

We need deputies.

Men who aren't afraid to go after these these

Scumbusters.

Okay.

It wasn't the greatest name,

but what can you expect from the press?

We became legends.

And no one knew who we were, but it didn't matter.

By this time, every female in a fifty mile radius was on our side.

Became part of our cleanup crew.

What started out as nothing more than a summer job turned

into the historical and the sociological event of the decade.

Yeah. What do you want? I'm the manicurist.

Boy, it sure is hard to find the house of curious nowadays who makes manicalls.

You know, it's, it's been quite a while since my my last manicure.

I can tell. Ow. Don't hit me.

Oh. Oh.

Those things look look

shiny.

Is this gonna hurt?

I'll make it as painless as possible.

Wait. It sure is a big black bag you carry.

What kind of tools do you use?

Let me show you. Look. But don't hit me.

Is that all that's left of him?

I'm afraid so, Leah.

What did they do to him?

With a chainsaw?

Real Texas style. Must be real Tobe Hooper fans.

Those filthy miserable son of a bitches

Gonna hand them up by their nipples for this.

Easy, mayor. Easy. Show a little respect.

I mean, after all, that's Bob, your sheriff and my

friend under that sheet.

Dead.

You're right, Siobhan.

You should spend a few moments in silent prayer.

Oh, Lord.

I stand beside the caucus of this miserable,

evil, son of a bitch, Bob,

and I hope and I pray that he will be

of more service to you in the afterlife than he was in this life.

And I hope and I pray

that the death of this miserable soul will be the last

because I, your humble servant,

will send the harlot of death back to the elk of

which they came.

Very touching, man.

I'm sure Bob would be moved by your eulogy.

Yeah. Well, he was a miserable fucker, but he was a man.

That's what I like about you, mayor.

You're not only sentimental,

but you've got a firm grasp on the obvious.

Yeah.

Well,

that's why God is on my side.

If I thought God was on your side, I'd be a Buddhist.

Bob. Bob. Bob.

Look what's happened to you.

Who would have thought that you would have ended up like this?

You weren't like all the others.

You weren't evil, vicious, nasty to women.

God knows you hated them. I mean, you were afraid of them.

I just hope wherever you are now, you've got a nice, big,

hard, throbbing, cold can of Lucy in your hand.

Ow.

Don't kick me.

Sorry, Siobhan. I just ran out of Lucy.

Jesus Christ. You're supposed to be dead.

Dead.

I am?

Yeah. You are. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

I mean, sir. How can you be? Wait a minute.

You're you're you're like standing there thinking,

talking, breathing.

Well, talking and breathing anyway.

What the hell is going on?

Oh, you see this morning?

I'm in a close encounter with a scumbuster.

Get away. Yeah. What happened?

Oh, she gave me a great manicure. See?

Oh, isn't that pretty?

Yeah. I better look great with little white gloves glow.

The bottom when you go to wait a minute.

How come she didn't kill you?

Oh, she said because I was comic relief.

She'd give me a chance. Oh. Yeah.

As long as I was on the first bus out of town, I'm safe.

Lucky Lucky break.

Hey. I don't mean to bring up any other cousin, please.

But if that's you standing there before me now, who's not

underneath dad?

Nobody. They just left a horse from the fridge.

I hate to bring this up, but how do we end this sucker?

We all live happily ever after. What about Goodman?

He's gotta be next. That'll be good.

That won't be that easy.

What? He's too much of a scumbag.

He won't die that easily. You think he'll try something?

He has to.

Like what?

Something real low and despicable.

And we'll blow the motherfucker away

and live happily ever

Come

here.

Closer. Even closer.

Let's talk.

I mean, man to man about castration.

Makes you nervous, doesn't it?

Especially in these dangerous, scum busting times.

What do you do?

Well, the Namrod Corporation,

in association with CODS of Steel Inc,

has come up with an answer.

The Rock Jock, the world's only bulletproof jock strap designed to protect

the family jewels from anything from a twenty two slug to a

twelve gauge shotgun blast.

Let's take a look.

Whee. Do your worst, bitch. Take that.

And that.

Steel safe now that I have rock jock.

Save your set. Get your RockJock today.

RockJock comes in a variety of rainbow colors and with a money

back lifetime guarantee.

It's only twenty nine ninety five at better stores everywhere.

RockJock. Don't leave home with that going on.

Set point, but it was open season on scum balls, and

consensus said we were doing nothing wrong.

We were in the majority, but we had to finish what we started.

We had to get rid of Goodman.

Besides, how could we have respected ourselves otherwise?

Girls, boys, children, scumbusters.

It's

time

for

a

I am speaking to the scumbusters.

It's time for a showdown.

Tomorrow, by noon, at the old city hall,

I have a hostage and I'm serious.

Be there or an innocent girl will die.

Once again, that was a tape that mayor Goodman dropped off at our

station just a little while ago.

I don't know what to make of it, but he sounds serious.

Throughout the city,

as the scum busters have enforced their own brand of

morality upon these hapless scum.

Women are now receiving the respect and praise they

deserve, even if it is brought about by senseless slaughter.

But this cannot last forever,

not while the mayor or the scumbusters live.

One side will have to kill the other.

Who will win this fight to the death?

We can only wait and

see.

Isn't that his daughter? His stepdaughter, I think.

You scum sucking pig hiding behind a little girl.

What are you gonna do if we don't kill your own stepdaughter?

That's right.

And I don't think you want the blood of an innocent fifteen

year old on your hands now, do you?

Is that the plan?

We put our guns down and you blow us all away?

You don't expect us to let you live now, do you?

How do you know we're not fast enough and good enough to blow

you all away without hurting the girl?

We don't, do we?

Shut

I don't think you'd take the chance of accidentally killing

my little Cindy here.

This wasn't how it was supposed to end.

That's more like

you.

Why aren't you sweating?

Because you aren't worth sweating over.

Hey, country boy.

There's

one.

Somebody get this guy off me.

I didn't know he was your

That was August of eighty seven.

The book came out just before Christmas and shot straight to

the top of the New York Times bestseller list.

We presold the paperback rights for two mil and got twice that

for the film rights.

And two networks are bidding on it for a possible sitcom.

We're negotiating for a comic book series, trading

cards, and scumbuster action figures.

Not bad for four teenage girls, Oh, back in town, the coroner,

Siobhan, was elected mayor, and Kate's parents,

Freedom and Sunshine,

are touring the college circuit lecturing on the dangers of drugs.

Kate is being represented by a major New York modeling agency.

Michelle opened a health club for cute guys only.

Diane is singing in a punk rock group,

and I'm doing a documentary on gun control.

Oh, and as you know Lisa spontaneously combusted.

I guess silicone is flammable after all.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

I am here today to deliver our profound

appreciation to those ladies known as the scum busters,

slime and vermin.

Now that I am mayor, I promise

to keep the streets safe for decent folk to walk at night.

There will never again be a need for such vigilante action.

That should be good news for you women.

You can now return to the kitchens and bedrooms

where you belong.