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1
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'No pieces of the
body have been found,
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00:00:18,227 --> 00:00:22,189
'and the authorities say,
"Sea monsters aren't real."'
3
00:00:24,775 --> 00:00:28,320
Ahoy! And salutations!
4
00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:31,907
My name is Captain Seafield.
5
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:35,160
'The authorities say,
"Sea monsters aren't real.
6
00:00:35,285 --> 00:00:38,705
"'Or for that matter,
lake monsters."'
7
00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:40,415
One month ago,
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00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:43,460
me and a fellow
ship captain of mine
9
00:00:43,585 --> 00:00:48,674
ventured out on a morning fishing trip
upon the great tides of Lake Michigan.
10
00:00:49,466 --> 00:00:53,595
As we cast our lines,
suddenly from out of nowhere,
11
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:57,975
a Hellish sea monster crept
up from the shallow depths,
12
00:00:58,100 --> 00:01:00,060
boarded our vessel,
13
00:01:00,185 --> 00:01:02,354
and killed my associate.
14
00:01:03,313 --> 00:01:05,566
It then dragged him underwater
15
00:01:05,691 --> 00:01:08,527
and vanished into
the murky abyss.
16
00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:14,866
The victim here was my father.
17
00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:17,869
'The authorities say,
"Sea monsters aren't real.
18
00:01:17,995 --> 00:01:20,539
"'Or for that matter,
lake monsters."'
19
00:01:20,664 --> 00:01:24,084
And so, I have hired
a group of specialists
20
00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:27,713
to help me locate the
beast and murder it.
21
00:01:39,975 --> 00:01:43,061
'Sean Shaughnessy,
weapons expert.
22
00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:50,444
'Nedge Pepsi, sonar individual.'
23
00:01:59,911 --> 00:02:04,082
'And Dick Flynn, former officer at
the Nautical Athletes Adventure Yunit.
24
00:02:04,207 --> 00:02:07,044
'Sometimes referred
to as the "N.A.V.Y."'
25
00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:09,421
And there it is!
26
00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:12,966
The team of the century!
27
00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:21,516
- Sean Shaughnessy.
- How big is this monster?
28
00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:23,310
Excellent question.
29
00:02:23,435 --> 00:02:25,187
This is a lion.
30
00:02:26,563 --> 00:02:28,815
This is a tiger.
31
00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:31,735
It's as big as a lion.
32
00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:39,409
What does it look like?
33
00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:48,794
Monstrous.
34
00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:50,337
Right?
35
00:02:50,462 --> 00:02:52,005
Do we have a boat?
36
00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:54,049
It's pronounced "pontoon".
37
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:57,260
But we shan't be needing it for
anything other than general seafaring
38
00:02:57,386 --> 00:03:01,598
as our hunt will be boat-less,
for, you see, our monster resides...
39
00:03:03,725 --> 00:03:05,185
- here.
- Is that...?
40
00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:07,330
- Lake Michigan.
- Yeah, we know it's Lake Michigan.
41
00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:08,772
It's the name of the movie.
42
00:03:12,734 --> 00:03:17,906
Yes, but more precisely it lives here,
off the shore of my lighthouse island.
43
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:21,535
I tell you, we weren't one fathom in
the water when the beast slew my father.
44
00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:25,414
Wait, I thought you said he was
thrown overboard on a fishing trip.
45
00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:29,626
Well, he was, by the beast.
46
00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:33,755
And that is precisely why we must
find and kill the Lake Michigan Monster!
47
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:39,136
Right. But you said you weren't one fathom
out on the lake before the monster struck?
48
00:03:39,261 --> 00:03:41,304
- Well, we weren't.
- One fathom?
49
00:03:41,430 --> 00:03:44,558
You were one fathom off
the shore for a fishing trip?
50
00:03:44,683 --> 00:03:47,352
- Yes!
- You know how long a fathom is?
51
00:03:58,363 --> 00:04:00,115
It's six feet.
52
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,284
Bah!
53
00:04:03,118 --> 00:04:08,039
Facultative Aquatic Taffrail
Haliographic Opinion Measurement.
54
00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:09,499
I'm not sure that's right.
55
00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:13,420
What did you take the boat out
and instantaneously run aground?
56
00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:16,214
- And then cast your fishing lines?
- What else is in that podium?
57
00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:18,175
Well, maybe that's
precisely what happened!
58
00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:21,553
Now why the hell is that
so hard to grasp? Oh, God...
59
00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:24,556
Hey, what's going
on here? Seafield!
60
00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:27,684
For the love of God,
stop using my classroom!
61
00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:29,686
Expelled means expelled!
62
00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:11,019
Lake Michigan... this
is where it all happens.
63
00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:25,867
Here's the deal.
64
00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:28,578
This is the beach.
There's the water.
65
00:05:28,703 --> 00:05:32,040
Here we are right now. Nedge has
set up the sonar station over there.
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00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:34,835
When Nedge flips the switch,
Sean Shaughnessy will give Dick
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00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:36,586
his monster-killing
weapon of choice.
68
00:05:36,711 --> 00:05:39,840
Then, Dick, you're going to walk
ten paces to the kayak and get in,
69
00:05:39,965 --> 00:05:42,968
row yourself out to sea,
dive in, and begin your search.
70
00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:45,011
Back on land, Sean
Shaughnessy will be lookout,
71
00:05:45,136 --> 00:05:48,473
while Nedge and I watch for
any blips on the Sonar 2000.
72
00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:52,769
It shall be known as:
Operation Annihilation!
73
00:06:30,307 --> 00:06:34,019
One. Two. Three.
74
00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:37,397
Four. Five. Six.
75
00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:39,858
Seven. Eight...
76
00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:47,157
Nine.
77
00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:49,492
Uh, ten!
78
00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:01,963
He's in.
79
00:07:26,488 --> 00:07:29,032
Has he found anything?
80
00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:34,037
Negative.
81
00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:42,170
- Go give him a hand, Sean Shaughnessy.
- Right.
82
00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:49,260
That's my weapons expert.
83
00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:09,531
So, Seafield, what's it
like being a ship captain?
84
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:15,370
- Seafield.
- What?
85
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,539
How do you like
being a ship captain?
86
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:19,416
I'm not a ship captain.
87
00:08:19,541 --> 00:08:21,710
What? I thought that
was kind of your thing.
88
00:08:24,629 --> 00:08:27,424
- I hope Dick's okay.
- Did you get it?
89
00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:29,217
Nope. False alarm.
90
00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:41,354
You almost shot me!
91
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:47,777
- There's nothing down there, Seafield.
- Damn. Well, you all tried your best.
92
00:08:47,902 --> 00:08:49,904
Let's regroup at my
place and drink bourbon.
93
00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:56,077
Nedge, go wake up
Sean Shaughnessy.
94
00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:43,208
You know, I really thought that plan
would work. Oh, well, a marginal setback.
95
00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:46,461
- So what's our next plan of attack?
- Ha-ha! Attack.
96
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,506
Spoken like a true
weapons expert.
97
00:09:50,381 --> 00:09:55,261
That's why I got you, Sean Shaughnessy.
Violence is always on your mind.
98
00:09:55,386 --> 00:09:57,263
Much like that
of the creature's.
99
00:09:57,388 --> 00:10:01,810
With a gun or a knife we
must end this monster's life.
100
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,734
So what's our
next plan of attack?
101
00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:13,113
- Who wants fish sticks?
- Oh, here we go!
102
00:10:13,238 --> 00:10:14,739
Martha, you spoil us!
103
00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:18,868
Now, now, even the Team of the
Century has to eat once in a while.
104
00:10:18,993 --> 00:10:20,912
- Thank you.
- She's right, you know.
105
00:10:21,037 --> 00:10:25,416
Food gives us energy, and
energy is what, Sean Shaughnessy?
106
00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:27,293
Uh, energy is...
107
00:10:27,418 --> 00:10:30,421
- A good thing!
- Energy is a good thing, idiot.
108
00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:32,340
Martha, did you happen
to bring the ketchup?
109
00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:35,051
Did I happen to bring ketchup?
110
00:10:35,176 --> 00:10:37,637
Martha! She knows me too well.
111
00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:41,683
Okay, now you all enjoy. The
plates and napkins are here in the bar.
112
00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:43,434
Thank you, thank you.
113
00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:45,412
And don't forget, tomorrow
you've got that field trip.
114
00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:48,773
- Alright. Alright, Martha.
- Thank you.
115
00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:50,024
Martha.
116
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:51,776
My wife.
117
00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:54,946
Ah, very nice.
118
00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:57,991
- Nedge?
- Oh, yeah?
119
00:10:58,116 --> 00:10:59,576
- Come on.
- What?
120
00:10:59,701 --> 00:11:01,494
Let's hear it.
121
00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:04,414
- Ah...
- Uh...
122
00:11:04,539 --> 00:11:06,416
Oh! Uh...
123
00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:09,544
- To the Team of the Century!
- Ah, very nice.
124
00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:14,841
Not bad.
125
00:11:14,966 --> 00:11:16,217
- Oh!
- Urgh!
126
00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:18,261
Shit, that's bad!
127
00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:21,431
- Urgh! No one else try that!
- No one would do that.
128
00:11:21,556 --> 00:11:23,183
Urgh! I need ketchup!
129
00:11:23,308 --> 00:11:26,394
So, here's the new deal.
130
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:28,563
This is the beach again.
There's the water again.
131
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:30,106
Here we are right now again.
132
00:11:30,231 --> 00:11:32,275
Nedge has set up the sonar
station over there again.
133
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:33,818
When Nedge flips
the switch again,
134
00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:36,839
Sean Shaughnessy will give Dick his
monster-killing weapon of choice again.
135
00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:39,633
Then, Dick, you're going to walk ten
paces to the kayak and get in again,
136
00:11:39,657 --> 00:11:42,737
row yourself out to the sea again, dive
in again, and begin your search again.
137
00:11:42,785 --> 00:11:44,597
Back on land, Sean
Shaughnessy will be lookout again,
138
00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:47,624
while Nedge and I watch for
any blips on the Sonar 2000 again.
139
00:11:47,749 --> 00:11:53,213
Except this time, it shall be
known as: Operation Nauty Lady.
140
00:11:56,007 --> 00:11:58,301
- Why, though?
- Why what?
141
00:11:58,426 --> 00:12:02,931
I mean, I like the name and
everything, I think it's really clever.
142
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:05,683
But what does it have
to do with anything?
143
00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:13,983
Whoa, hey! Where are my clothes?
144
00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:20,323
- You must be naked for the nauty lady!
- What the hell does that mean?
145
00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:23,243
Last night I finished my fish
sticks and I got to thinking.
146
00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:25,662
What if this monster is a lady?
147
00:12:25,787 --> 00:12:29,707
Well, then, naturally she'd be
attracted to a naked swimming man.
148
00:12:29,832 --> 00:12:31,793
- Naturally.
- I didn't sign up for this!
149
00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:35,213
- Where are my clothes?
- Oh, and by the way...
150
00:12:35,338 --> 00:12:39,008
I forgot to hand
out these last night.
151
00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:42,262
Your payment for
all your hard work.
152
00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:44,347
Nedge Pepsi.
153
00:12:44,472 --> 00:12:46,724
Sean Shaughnessy.
154
00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:49,811
And... Mr. Dick Flynn.
155
00:12:59,529 --> 00:13:03,324
You know what, Seafield? I
actually think this is a really good plan.
156
00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:05,451
- Right?
- The monster will see me naked.
157
00:13:05,576 --> 00:13:07,536
- It'll wanna get on top of me!
- I think so, too.
158
00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:10,832
- And that's when I'll stab it in its neck.
- That's the spirit, Dick!
159
00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:14,043
Now, everyone in position!
160
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:36,983
Let's not shoot at me this time.
161
00:13:37,108 --> 00:13:39,193
I take my orders
from the Captain.
162
00:13:42,196 --> 00:13:44,574
Now I know why
they call him Dick.
163
00:13:44,699 --> 00:13:46,242
Why?
164
00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:49,078
Because... he has a penis.
165
00:13:52,290 --> 00:13:53,833
Seven.
166
00:13:53,958 --> 00:13:55,293
Eight.
167
00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:06,387
Nine. Ten.
168
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:11,642
- So brave.
- Mm-hmm...
169
00:14:18,649 --> 00:14:19,692
He's in.
170
00:14:26,783 --> 00:14:29,619
- Would you date him?
- Uh...
171
00:14:29,744 --> 00:14:32,413
I don't really date teammates.
172
00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:34,457
I don't date at all because
I'm a married man.
173
00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:37,377
It's one of those things you
can't be doing once you're married.
174
00:14:37,502 --> 00:14:39,813
Of course, I can still remember
me and Martha's first date...
175
00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:43,966
- Hey, let's keep an eye on the sonar.
- Haunted beer garden.
176
00:14:56,354 --> 00:14:57,480
I got something!
177
00:14:57,605 --> 00:15:00,900
As do we, old chap!
Good job, Nedge!
178
00:15:09,659 --> 00:15:13,121
- Wow, this thing's actually pretty big.
- Monster's aren't small, Nedge.
179
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:16,833
- Except for centipedes.
- Except for centipedes. This is true.
180
00:15:16,958 --> 00:15:19,460
Although small, they are
quite monstrous, nevertheless.
181
00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:21,712
- All those legs.
- All those legs are right.
182
00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:23,923
It's encircling Dick!
183
00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:28,386
Sean Shaughnessy,
prepare to lock and load!
184
00:15:28,511 --> 00:15:29,554
Right!
185
00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:33,147
Alright, Sean Shaughnessy,
get in there and...
186
00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:38,187
Not seeing anything, Seafield.
187
00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:54,996
Dick!
188
00:15:58,040 --> 00:15:59,459
Dick!
189
00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:24,358
Alright, Sean Shaughnessy,
get in there! Kill the monster! Kill it!
190
00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:26,444
Damn it, Sean Shaughnessy!
191
00:16:27,445 --> 00:16:28,988
Alright, Nedge, you're up!
192
00:16:29,113 --> 00:16:31,407
I don't know, I'm really
more of a sonar individual.
193
00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:50,426
Dick! Dick! Thank Poseidon
you're alright. He lives!
194
00:16:50,551 --> 00:16:52,178
- Where are my clothes?
- Nedge?
195
00:16:52,303 --> 00:16:56,182
- So, did you kill it?
- Did I kill it? No!
196
00:16:56,307 --> 00:16:58,851
- Then how are you possibly still alive?
- I dunno.
197
00:16:58,976 --> 00:17:02,188
One minute he had me all wrapped
up and then the next he was gone.
198
00:17:02,313 --> 00:17:03,648
Dear God!
199
00:17:03,773 --> 00:17:07,276
- Did you get a good look at it?
- No. Felt slimy.
200
00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:10,488
- You owe me a family heirloom.
- Yes, I do.
201
00:17:10,613 --> 00:17:12,323
I'll give you the money.
202
00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:14,283
Thank you, Seafield.
203
00:17:17,662 --> 00:17:19,372
Hey, guys, sorry!
204
00:17:19,497 --> 00:17:21,707
Sorry, my friend's
terrible at volleyball.
205
00:17:21,832 --> 00:17:24,293
Get out of here, Girlie!
206
00:17:31,342 --> 00:17:33,177
I didn't believe him.
207
00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:34,971
None of us did.
208
00:17:35,096 --> 00:17:38,474
Hmm... A sea
monster? Ridiculous.
209
00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:41,894
But he was right. That
eccentric bastard was right.
210
00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:52,655
- Wow.
- That big? Wow.
211
00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:59,787
So this huge monster has you in
its grasp and then it just lets you go.
212
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:02,582
- Not a scratch.
- I wonder why.
213
00:18:02,707 --> 00:18:04,834
- Terrifying nevertheless.
- Ah...
214
00:18:07,378 --> 00:18:10,256
By the way, Seafield,
not a real sea captain.
215
00:18:10,381 --> 00:18:12,425
- Wait, seriously?
- No, I am not!
216
00:18:12,550 --> 00:18:14,552
There, happy, Nedge?
I'm docking your pay.
217
00:18:14,677 --> 00:18:16,596
- Where did you come from?
- Phoenix.
218
00:18:16,721 --> 00:18:18,431
Uh... no, just now.
219
00:18:18,556 --> 00:18:20,391
Trapdoor. It's my house, Nedge.
220
00:18:20,516 --> 00:18:22,226
This is some really
good bourbon.
221
00:18:22,351 --> 00:18:25,396
Isn't it? Ashcroft brought me
back a barrel from Glasgow.
222
00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:27,398
- Scotland?
- Kentucky.
223
00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:29,609
It's bourbon, after all.
224
00:18:29,734 --> 00:18:34,864
- Not... a moor.
- Who's Ashcroft?
225
00:18:34,989 --> 00:18:37,116
I be Ashcroft!
226
00:18:38,743 --> 00:18:41,245
I know. Tell them.
227
00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:43,039
I be Ashcroft!
228
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:46,417
So, you're searching
for the old man, eh?
229
00:18:46,542 --> 00:18:49,337
That's right, and this is my
band of rowdy cutthroats,
230
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:52,048
Dick, Nedge, and
Sean Shaughnessy.
231
00:18:56,761 --> 00:18:59,764
Well, I suppose you
could've done worse.
232
00:19:01,599 --> 00:19:04,894
- You have a fine taste in whiskey, sir!
- It's ruined me life!
233
00:19:05,019 --> 00:19:08,189
- Hey, what are we painting here?
- It's a freaking landscape.
234
00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:12,485
Oh, yeah. I can see it.
235
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:16,822
So, how have you been
hunting this monster?
236
00:19:16,947 --> 00:19:18,574
Come aboard!
237
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:20,576
Blades.
238
00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:21,869
Guns.
239
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:25,831
- Sonar 2000.
- Sonar? Too good for the old ways, eh?
240
00:19:25,956 --> 00:19:28,250
Ashcroft, you know
I don't have intuition.
241
00:19:28,376 --> 00:19:30,795
- He knows that.
- You don't use sonar of any kind?
242
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:33,631
Don't even know what
it is, to tell you the truth.
243
00:19:33,756 --> 00:19:37,176
Wait. You don't use...
How old are you?
244
00:19:42,431 --> 00:19:43,766
Thirty.
245
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:51,524
After I graduated
high school in 2005,
246
00:19:51,649 --> 00:19:54,568
I went into the longshoreman
business to join my father.
247
00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:59,949
On my first day out, he said,
"Son! Sonar is for pussies!"
248
00:20:00,991 --> 00:20:03,244
- And that was the end of it.
- He never said that.
249
00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:06,247
- That was the end of it!
- He never said that.
250
00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:09,250
Okay, fine. He never said that.
251
00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:11,085
Anyways, the point is,
252
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:14,255
if you're going to catch that monster,
you're going to have to go at night.
253
00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:17,466
- Why at night?
- Because monsters come out at night.
254
00:20:17,591 --> 00:20:20,720
- Ah, yes.
- And you're gonna need one of these!
255
00:20:20,845 --> 00:20:25,599
Hook your bait with this hook and
your monster is as good as hooked.
256
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:27,184
I know I'm hooked.
257
00:20:27,309 --> 00:20:28,894
- Me, too.
- Me, three.
258
00:20:29,019 --> 00:20:30,604
Gimme that!
259
00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:07,683
♪ And that's when
I said goodbye... ♪
260
00:21:07,808 --> 00:21:10,144
- Yow!
- Oh, mercy!
261
00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:12,313
- Yow!
- Wonderful!
262
00:21:14,523 --> 00:21:18,527
- Whoo-hoo!
- Oh, wow. Absolutely terrific.
263
00:21:18,652 --> 00:21:22,698
- Dick, you're a real talent.
- Ah... I know.
264
00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:24,533
- Are you in a band?
- Used to be.
265
00:21:24,658 --> 00:21:27,411
- Was the leader of the Navy concert band.
- Like the director?
266
00:21:27,536 --> 00:21:31,081
The commanding officer.
So, yeah, the music director.
267
00:21:31,207 --> 00:21:33,417
Youngest in history, in fact.
268
00:21:33,542 --> 00:21:36,837
That's quite impressive,
Dick. I had no idea.
269
00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:40,424
It was a lot of fun. Traveling
the world, doing a lot of shows.
270
00:21:40,549 --> 00:21:43,219
Did some NFL games,
saw the Pyramids in Egypt.
271
00:21:43,344 --> 00:21:45,679
- That's awesome.
- Yeah.
272
00:21:45,805 --> 00:21:48,182
- What made you stop?
- Oh, I was discharged.
273
00:21:49,350 --> 00:21:50,976
Oh... okay.
274
00:21:52,728 --> 00:21:54,480
Yeah...
275
00:21:56,565 --> 00:21:58,609
Honorably, no doubt.
276
00:22:01,570 --> 00:22:02,822
Uh...
277
00:22:04,114 --> 00:22:06,575
No, not honorably.
278
00:22:06,700 --> 00:22:12,248
You see, I had lots
of... sexual misconduct
279
00:22:12,373 --> 00:22:16,001
with the woodwind
and percussion sections.
280
00:22:16,669 --> 00:22:21,423
I also shot the timpani player in a
very strange sequence of events.
281
00:22:28,430 --> 00:22:30,808
- So, dishonorable.
- Look, guy's a character.
282
00:22:53,122 --> 00:22:55,374
Battle stations!
283
00:22:59,378 --> 00:23:01,463
Wait for it...
284
00:23:03,299 --> 00:23:04,758
Now!
285
00:23:07,928 --> 00:23:10,055
- 1, 2, 3!
- Heave!
286
00:23:10,180 --> 00:23:12,892
- 1, 2, 3!
- Heave!
287
00:23:13,017 --> 00:23:15,352
- 1, 2, 3!
- Heave!
288
00:23:15,477 --> 00:23:17,062
Here it comes!
289
00:23:17,187 --> 00:23:19,857
Sean Shaughnessy!
290
00:23:19,982 --> 00:23:21,817
Sean Shaughnessy!
291
00:23:22,651 --> 00:23:25,237
Your time is up, monster!
292
00:23:35,289 --> 00:23:36,707
What...?
293
00:23:39,293 --> 00:23:40,711
Huh...
294
00:23:43,422 --> 00:23:44,840
Hmm...
295
00:23:46,759 --> 00:23:48,677
It's blank.
296
00:23:51,388 --> 00:23:53,891
Oh. Yes, of course.
297
00:24:01,482 --> 00:24:04,401
"Be seeing you..."
298
00:24:07,988 --> 00:24:11,825
"In your... dreams."
299
00:25:38,537 --> 00:25:40,289
Sean Shaughnessy!
300
00:25:46,462 --> 00:25:48,255
Does he not have his
eyebrow make-up on?
301
00:25:48,380 --> 00:25:50,215
Sean Shaughnessy!
302
00:25:54,178 --> 00:25:55,929
- I got it!
- Is that an egg?
303
00:25:56,055 --> 00:25:57,598
I got the egg!
304
00:26:01,226 --> 00:26:04,605
Sean Shaughnessy!
I got it! I got it!
305
00:26:04,730 --> 00:26:07,232
I got the egg! Hee-hee!
306
00:26:10,944 --> 00:26:13,906
Now! Shoot it, Sean
Shaughnessy! Shoot the egg!
307
00:26:14,031 --> 00:26:15,616
Is that the monster's egg?
308
00:26:15,741 --> 00:26:18,327
Yes. I saw some stuff
while I was sleeping.
309
00:26:18,452 --> 00:26:19,732
- Like a dream.
- That's the one.
310
00:26:19,828 --> 00:26:22,122
Where's your eyebrow make-up?
311
00:26:22,915 --> 00:26:26,543
I don't know what
you're talking about!
312
00:26:26,668 --> 00:26:28,253
Oh, no, you don't!
313
00:26:30,297 --> 00:26:35,052
Kill it! Kill it, Sean Shaughnessy!
Just like its mama killed my daddy!
314
00:27:05,791 --> 00:27:07,292
Jesus!
315
00:27:16,009 --> 00:27:19,805
Chug, chug, chug, chug...
316
00:27:22,015 --> 00:27:23,600
Beer!
317
00:27:25,853 --> 00:27:27,563
Hurray!
318
00:27:27,688 --> 00:27:29,523
But did we have
to kill its baby?
319
00:27:29,648 --> 00:27:32,651
Blood for blood, Nedge. It
kills my father, we shoot its egg.
320
00:27:32,776 --> 00:27:34,945
- Remind you of anything?
- Hmm... no.
321
00:27:35,070 --> 00:27:36,488
- Iwo Jima.
- How?
322
00:27:36,613 --> 00:27:38,198
Ooh, the candy shop!
323
00:27:38,323 --> 00:27:41,618
- So... Nedge.
- Yes?
324
00:27:41,743 --> 00:27:46,123
- What is your full name?
- Nedge Pepsi.
325
00:27:46,248 --> 00:27:50,544
No. No, I mean like
what is Nedge short for?
326
00:27:52,171 --> 00:27:53,964
Nedgecraft.
327
00:27:54,089 --> 00:27:55,757
"Nedgecraft"?
328
00:27:56,592 --> 00:27:58,802
- It's Polish.
- No, it's not.
329
00:27:58,927 --> 00:28:02,472
Your full name is
"Nedgecraft Pepsi"?
330
00:28:02,598 --> 00:28:04,183
Junior.
331
00:28:04,308 --> 00:28:07,102
Damn candy store is
closed! Bunch of pedophiles!
332
00:28:07,227 --> 00:28:09,688
Whoa! Hey, uh... So
what's our next plan, boss?
333
00:28:09,813 --> 00:28:11,982
Ah! The man knows a
question but not the answer.
334
00:28:12,107 --> 00:28:13,984
That's why I asked.
335
00:28:27,539 --> 00:28:30,292
Beach, water, sonar station.
336
00:28:30,417 --> 00:28:33,295
- Dick will carry the egg carcass...
- Fully clothed.
337
00:28:33,420 --> 00:28:36,048
Fine. But not your clothes.
Everyone switch clothes.
338
00:28:36,173 --> 00:28:38,050
In order to draw
the sea hag out,
339
00:28:38,175 --> 00:28:40,761
Dick will toss the eggshells
one fathom into the sea.
340
00:28:40,886 --> 00:28:42,596
The scent will be intoxicating.
341
00:28:42,721 --> 00:28:45,098
The monster maiden
won't be able to resist.
342
00:28:45,224 --> 00:28:48,143
- She must be worried sick.
- Nedge let's hear it.
343
00:28:48,268 --> 00:28:49,478
Hear what?
344
00:28:49,603 --> 00:28:53,232
The name of the operation, of
course. Your last one was so clever.
345
00:28:53,357 --> 00:28:57,236
- How about Operation Eggsecution?
- Ah!
346
00:28:57,361 --> 00:28:59,529
No, no, wait, that's
terrible. But listen to this...
347
00:28:59,655 --> 00:29:02,741
Operation "Eggscuse
me, time to die!"
348
00:29:02,866 --> 00:29:05,661
And be sure to say that
when you shoot it in the brain.
349
00:30:12,060 --> 00:30:14,021
What is he doing?
350
00:30:15,230 --> 00:30:17,024
I don't know.
351
00:30:24,406 --> 00:30:27,284
Dick, I don't pay you to
flirt with inanimate objects!
352
00:30:27,409 --> 00:30:30,454
I got a guy for that.
Name's Howard.
353
00:30:44,051 --> 00:30:46,720
- Eagle's landed.
- Ah! Excellent!
354
00:30:46,845 --> 00:30:50,766
Now to play my favorite
game in the whole wide world.
355
00:30:50,891 --> 00:30:52,726
- Ah, the waiting game.
- Checkers!
356
00:30:52,851 --> 00:30:54,686
Is everything alright?
357
00:30:55,854 --> 00:30:57,022
Dick?
358
00:30:57,147 --> 00:30:59,691
- So that's why you brought that along.
- Yes.
359
00:30:59,816 --> 00:31:03,278
Why else would I bring checkers
along if not to play checkers?
360
00:31:03,403 --> 00:31:06,073
I think the eggshells
were just talking to me.
361
00:31:06,198 --> 00:31:08,158
They were talking to you?
362
00:31:09,159 --> 00:31:13,872
They were communicating. Like we
had some sort of strange connection.
363
00:31:16,458 --> 00:31:18,502
What possible
reason could there be
364
00:31:18,627 --> 00:31:21,463
for bringing a game
such as this to the beach
365
00:31:21,588 --> 00:31:24,466
without the intent to
play it amongst friends?
366
00:31:25,509 --> 00:31:27,135
I don't know.
367
00:31:29,888 --> 00:31:31,556
I'm docking your pay.
368
00:31:34,226 --> 00:31:35,811
Seafield, it's here.
369
00:31:40,816 --> 00:31:42,734
Where? Off the starboard?
370
00:31:42,859 --> 00:31:44,653
No, it's headed toward the egg!
371
00:31:44,778 --> 00:31:48,365
Ah! Alright, Sean Shaughnessy.
Time to make your country proud.
372
00:31:48,490 --> 00:31:51,201
It's closing in!
373
00:31:58,333 --> 00:31:59,793
Bingo!
374
00:32:00,377 --> 00:32:03,213
- This one's for you, daddy!
- Daddy?
375
00:32:20,772 --> 00:32:23,608
Aargh!
376
00:32:23,733 --> 00:32:24,734
Sean!
377
00:33:37,557 --> 00:33:41,311
Sean Shaughnessy was a
better man than most of our team.
378
00:33:42,479 --> 00:33:46,983
I'll never forget the day I
recruited him... Tuesday.
379
00:33:47,108 --> 00:33:49,903
He was bright-eyed and
bushy-tailed and ready to get to work.
380
00:33:50,028 --> 00:33:54,741
He said, "Seafield, I am
your sword, I am your shield",
381
00:33:54,866 --> 00:33:57,410
"I am your weapons expert."
382
00:33:57,536 --> 00:34:00,080
Sean said that?
383
00:34:00,205 --> 00:34:01,748
He did.
384
00:34:04,543 --> 00:34:06,983
That was only the second time
anyone had ever said that to me.
385
00:34:07,045 --> 00:34:10,173
Well, I'll always remember
how brave he was.
386
00:34:10,298 --> 00:34:12,801
Whether charging into
the lake to fight the monster
387
00:34:12,926 --> 00:34:16,805
or discharging a firearm
on a public beach,
388
00:34:16,930 --> 00:34:19,015
Sean didn't care, he was brave.
389
00:34:19,140 --> 00:34:21,351
I don't have any fond
memories of Sean.
390
00:34:21,476 --> 00:34:25,438
Mostly because I'm pretty sure
he shot and killed my unborn child.
391
00:34:25,564 --> 00:34:28,275
- You know, I had a sneaking suspicion.
- Wait, what?
392
00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:32,445
- That egg was mine, wasn't it?
- Well... not yours.
393
00:34:32,571 --> 00:34:37,033
It's the monster's egg, Dick.
But yes! You made it happen.
394
00:34:37,158 --> 00:34:39,703
I had a dream regarding it.
395
00:34:39,828 --> 00:34:42,414
Oh, what? Are you upset?
396
00:34:42,539 --> 00:34:45,250
It was a monster baby!
397
00:34:45,375 --> 00:34:48,878
You should've at least told me before
you let Sean shoot the shit out of it!
398
00:34:49,004 --> 00:34:50,630
What does it even matter?
399
00:34:50,755 --> 00:34:53,592
Were you really going to
raise a grotesque hell spawn?
400
00:34:55,260 --> 00:34:57,596
- In this economy?
- I'm confused.
401
00:34:57,721 --> 00:34:59,431
It wasn't your call
to make, Seafield!
402
00:34:59,556 --> 00:35:03,810
Oh, I'm sorry!
Please forgive me!
403
00:35:03,935 --> 00:35:05,854
You're right!
404
00:35:05,979 --> 00:35:10,150
Ooh! We should've
constructed a large nest for it.
405
00:35:10,275 --> 00:35:13,778
Have Papa Dick nurture
the egg day and night
406
00:35:13,903 --> 00:35:16,364
for several weeks
under his loins,
407
00:35:16,489 --> 00:35:19,993
until one day the
egg decides to hatch
408
00:35:20,118 --> 00:35:22,370
and bite our fucking heads off!
409
00:35:22,495 --> 00:35:25,290
- I would make a great dad!
- Wait, that's it...
410
00:35:25,415 --> 00:35:28,460
It must've happened during Operation
Nauty Lady when Dick was naked.
411
00:35:28,585 --> 00:35:32,714
The monster seized him, pulled him
underwater, and somehow extracted his...
412
00:35:32,839 --> 00:35:36,635
Yes, yes, very good, Nedge. We don't have
to go into graphic detail, you sick weirdo.
413
00:35:36,760 --> 00:35:41,598
I'm done with you, Seafield.
Your father, he can burn in hell!
414
00:35:41,723 --> 00:35:45,685
Oh, why don't you go shoot a timpani
player, you big treasonous seaman?
415
00:35:45,810 --> 00:35:49,397
Hey! What are you doing here?
You can't be digging in a cemetery!
416
00:35:49,522 --> 00:35:50,940
That's vandalism!
417
00:35:51,066 --> 00:35:54,277
Seafield, you're vandals and
felons! I'm calling the cops!
418
00:35:54,402 --> 00:35:56,613
- Let's go, let's get outta here.
- Get back here!
419
00:35:56,738 --> 00:35:59,366
'Uh, mission failed.
420
00:35:59,491 --> 00:36:02,827
'Failed. Failed. Failed!'
421
00:36:02,952 --> 00:36:05,455
Oh, God! Why is this so hard?
422
00:36:10,710 --> 00:36:14,005
What really happened
that day, Seafield?
423
00:36:14,798 --> 00:36:17,509
What day? There are many days.
424
00:36:17,634 --> 00:36:20,887
- The day your father disappeared.
- I already told you what happened.
425
00:36:21,012 --> 00:36:26,726
Look, I know you pay us a lot,
and it's not really my place to ask,
426
00:36:26,851 --> 00:36:28,561
but... come on.
427
00:36:30,605 --> 00:36:31,648
What?
428
00:36:31,773 --> 00:36:34,693
You took your boat from the
dock, immediately ran aground,
429
00:36:34,818 --> 00:36:36,569
decided to start fishing,
430
00:36:36,695 --> 00:36:39,906
and then the monster attacked
your father and took him away.
431
00:36:40,031 --> 00:36:41,408
Took him away and killed him!
432
00:36:41,533 --> 00:36:43,910
You told us your father
was a seasoned ship captain.
433
00:36:44,035 --> 00:36:48,456
This sounds like the work of a
small child or someone who's a drunk.
434
00:36:48,581 --> 00:36:51,292
Well, he was, Nedge! And
he'd been drinking all morning.
435
00:36:51,418 --> 00:36:56,381
I wasn't much more fair for ware because
you see I, too, am a drunk. As is Ashcroft.
436
00:36:56,506 --> 00:36:59,676
And no, my father was
not a seasoned ship captain.
437
00:36:59,801 --> 00:37:04,305
I never said this, you assumed this.
Just as you assumed I was a ship captain.
438
00:37:04,431 --> 00:37:06,933
As you probably
assumed Ashcroft is, too.
439
00:37:07,058 --> 00:37:09,269
It's hard not to assume
your father was a ship captain
440
00:37:09,394 --> 00:37:11,938
when you told us your
father was a ship captain.
441
00:37:12,063 --> 00:37:14,315
- Oh, I never said such a thing!
- Yes, you did!
442
00:37:14,441 --> 00:37:18,653
- At the beginning of all of this.
- A-ha... A-ha!
443
00:37:18,778 --> 00:37:21,865
Well, that must've just
been one of my little lying fits.
444
00:37:21,990 --> 00:37:24,743
I do that an awful lot
to make up for the fact
445
00:37:24,868 --> 00:37:26,870
that I don't actually
have a lot going for me.
446
00:37:26,995 --> 00:37:30,415
No, no, what about your house
here? You have a beautiful house.
447
00:37:30,540 --> 00:37:32,125
It's all illusion, Nedge!
448
00:37:32,250 --> 00:37:35,295
A simple parlor trick in which
a man moves into a lighthouse
449
00:37:35,420 --> 00:37:38,465
and pretends to be someone
other than the museum's docent.
450
00:37:38,590 --> 00:37:40,800
- So this is a museum?
- Yes!
451
00:37:40,925 --> 00:37:44,304
- Not your house.
- No.
452
00:37:44,429 --> 00:37:46,389
- And you're a docent here?
- And a fraud!
453
00:37:46,514 --> 00:37:48,475
We're all just a bunch
of frauds, Nedge.
454
00:37:48,600 --> 00:37:50,268
I'm the biggest
charlatan of them all.
455
00:37:50,393 --> 00:37:53,354
At least my father and
Ashcroft were sailors.
456
00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:55,523
I just stay cooped up
in my lighthouse villa
457
00:37:55,648 --> 00:37:58,109
playing make-believe
with my old-ass wife.
458
00:37:58,234 --> 00:38:00,153
You mean the state's lighthouse.
459
00:38:00,278 --> 00:38:03,782
There I go again, pretending!
This hat? A costume prop!
460
00:38:03,907 --> 00:38:07,786
This ivory? Real ivory!
Not mine! The museum's!
461
00:38:07,911 --> 00:38:10,055
In fact, I'm actually pretty
surprised none of you picked up
462
00:38:10,079 --> 00:38:12,916
on the sheer blatantness
that this is clearly a museum.
463
00:38:14,375 --> 00:38:15,585
Hmm!
464
00:38:16,669 --> 00:38:17,879
Dude, sick.
465
00:38:18,004 --> 00:38:19,631
- Yeah, sick.
- Sick.
466
00:38:19,756 --> 00:38:23,343
Okay, but why are
you being this con man?
467
00:38:23,468 --> 00:38:27,639
Because... if I hadn't pretended
468
00:38:27,764 --> 00:38:30,683
to be this wealthy mariner...
469
00:38:32,393 --> 00:38:35,063
none of you would've
helped me to my cause.
470
00:38:35,188 --> 00:38:39,067
I never had a mother and I
just want to find my father.
471
00:38:39,192 --> 00:38:41,653
These checks
aren't good, are they?
472
00:38:44,405 --> 00:38:46,616
Nedge! Don't go!
473
00:38:46,741 --> 00:38:48,993
Reconsider! Please!
474
00:38:49,118 --> 00:38:51,371
Those checks, they
might not be good,
475
00:38:51,496 --> 00:38:55,834
but I'm still a pretty
fun guy to hang out with!
476
00:38:55,959 --> 00:38:58,795
Come on! Captain Cool over here!
477
00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:03,508
You know... Look, please,
I'll do anything. I'll rob a bank!
478
00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:27,490
♪ I can see the
waters in the morning
479
00:39:27,615 --> 00:39:33,788
♪ I can see the
ships sail into bay
480
00:39:33,913 --> 00:39:40,044
♪ There must be some
team who'll do my bidding
481
00:39:40,169 --> 00:39:46,092
♪ Without questioning,
drinking, dying or pay!
482
00:39:46,217 --> 00:39:51,389
♪ I know my life
is still worth living
483
00:39:51,514 --> 00:39:58,062
♪ I will conquer foe
and friend alike... ♪
484
00:39:58,187 --> 00:40:02,233
Seafield! Knock it off!
You're a terrible singer.
485
00:40:06,529 --> 00:40:07,947
Sorry.
486
00:40:08,865 --> 00:40:11,075
Did you buy a house?
487
00:40:15,371 --> 00:40:17,582
- 'Tis a sublease.
- Oh.
488
00:40:21,002 --> 00:40:24,172
Remember the first time
dad took us out on the boat?
489
00:40:24,297 --> 00:40:26,591
How could I forget?
490
00:40:26,716 --> 00:40:29,218
I was five years old.
491
00:40:29,344 --> 00:40:32,722
You couldn't have been more
than eight or nine at the time.
492
00:40:32,847 --> 00:40:34,557
We were so scared that day,
493
00:40:34,682 --> 00:40:37,977
dad taking us out on
the sea for the first time.
494
00:40:38,102 --> 00:40:41,606
Couple of landlubbers like
us, huh? Times have changed.
495
00:40:41,731 --> 00:40:45,276
But he said, "Don't be scared.
Everything will be alright."
496
00:40:45,401 --> 00:40:48,363
"This'll be a fun time.
I'll keep you safe."
497
00:40:48,488 --> 00:40:51,783
He also said, "If either one
of you should get seasick"
498
00:40:51,908 --> 00:40:54,452
"and throw up all over the deck,
499
00:40:54,577 --> 00:40:58,915
I will take my harpoon gun
and I will shoot you in the face."
500
00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:03,086
Then, of course, you did get sick
and the rest is history, as we may say.
501
00:41:03,211 --> 00:41:04,629
Funny guy, dad.
502
00:41:04,754 --> 00:41:09,175
Well, he did the best he could
as a single teenage father.
503
00:41:15,848 --> 00:41:18,518
Go to the catacombs.
504
00:41:21,437 --> 00:41:23,356
The catacombs? Are you mad? No!
505
00:41:23,481 --> 00:41:24,941
- You must!
- I mustn't.
506
00:41:25,066 --> 00:41:26,818
- I think you should.
- Why should I?
507
00:41:26,943 --> 00:41:30,238
You killed the monster's
child. Now you're cursed.
508
00:41:30,363 --> 00:41:32,699
Well, actually the dead
guy, Sean Shaughnessy,
509
00:41:32,824 --> 00:41:34,826
he's the one who killed
the monster's child.
510
00:41:34,951 --> 00:41:37,328
I just told him
to. Ipso facto...
511
00:41:37,453 --> 00:41:43,126
Even worse! A man whom you have
cursed and later led to the slaughter.
512
00:41:43,251 --> 00:41:45,545
Yep, here it is.
513
00:41:45,670 --> 00:41:49,632
The wandering
cursed spirit will not rest
514
00:41:49,757 --> 00:41:56,806
until it brings the cursee's
life to a resounding end.
515
00:41:58,850 --> 00:42:00,601
What can I do, Ashcroft?
516
00:42:00,727 --> 00:42:03,604
You're a dead man
walking, Seafield.
517
00:42:03,730 --> 00:42:07,233
Might as well avenge the old
man's death and your friend's death
518
00:42:07,358 --> 00:42:09,610
while you still can.
519
00:42:09,736 --> 00:42:12,363
Go to the catacombs.
520
00:43:08,961 --> 00:43:10,797
Fore!
521
00:43:12,256 --> 00:43:15,635
Hey, sorry about that,
fellas... Whoa, Dick! Nedge!
522
00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:19,347
What are you guys doing
here? Ice cream sandwiches?
523
00:43:19,472 --> 00:43:20,681
What do you want, Seafield?
524
00:43:20,807 --> 00:43:23,327
Alright, you've seen through
my ruse. I wasn't actually golfing.
525
00:43:23,392 --> 00:43:25,561
- Yeah, no shit.
- Come on, get out of here, Seafield.
526
00:43:25,686 --> 00:43:27,271
Look, I'm sorry about before.
527
00:43:27,396 --> 00:43:30,691
But now I've come to right the wrong
of not paying you for your services
528
00:43:30,817 --> 00:43:33,194
by paying you for your services!
529
00:43:33,319 --> 00:43:35,863
- You don't have the money.
- I'll sell my pontoon!
530
00:43:35,988 --> 00:43:37,990
You killed my unborn child.
531
00:43:39,534 --> 00:43:42,745
- I'll sell my pontoon.
- You mean the museum's pontoon.
532
00:43:42,870 --> 00:43:46,624
Ha-ha! Very funny,
Nedge the hedge. Right?
533
00:43:46,749 --> 00:43:48,709
What kind of services
are you even talking about?
534
00:43:48,835 --> 00:43:50,586
Security of my life.
535
00:43:50,711 --> 00:43:53,190
- The weapon's bag is in the graveyard.
- And we're not weapons experts.
536
00:43:53,214 --> 00:43:54,632
I don't care about any of that!
537
00:43:54,757 --> 00:43:58,594
Look, I'm going to be going up against
a lot of moving parts in the near future.
538
00:43:58,719 --> 00:44:01,889
I need trustworthy, reliable,
dependable people by my side.
539
00:44:02,014 --> 00:44:05,143
Besides, you know the old adage:
"Six pairs of eyes are better than two."
540
00:44:05,268 --> 00:44:06,727
Not an old adage.
541
00:44:06,853 --> 00:44:09,689
You mean: "Three pairs of
eyes are better than one."
542
00:44:09,814 --> 00:44:14,068
Yes, if I were Ashcroft and only had
one pair of eyes, that would be correct.
543
00:44:14,193 --> 00:44:16,313
But I have two pairs of
eyes and there are two of you,
544
00:44:16,404 --> 00:44:18,865
so that makes it
six pairs of eyes.
545
00:44:18,990 --> 00:44:22,160
You know one pair of
eyes makes two eyeballs?
546
00:44:22,285 --> 00:44:24,537
A pear is also a fruit, Nedge.
547
00:44:24,662 --> 00:44:28,708
In that case, yes, a pair
of pears would be two pear.
548
00:44:28,833 --> 00:44:32,461
Two pairs of two pears
would be four pears.
549
00:44:32,587 --> 00:44:35,214
No! There would be two pear.
550
00:44:35,339 --> 00:44:38,509
- Two pairs of pears?
- No!
551
00:44:38,634 --> 00:44:41,846
- Or two pear.
- Yes, that's right.
552
00:44:41,971 --> 00:44:47,268
As if you're describing
the plural form of "pear"...
553
00:44:47,393 --> 00:44:49,770
In its singular form!
554
00:44:49,896 --> 00:44:52,648
Oh! So you think
"pear" is like "deer"?
555
00:44:52,773 --> 00:44:54,358
Or "lamb".
556
00:44:54,483 --> 00:44:58,112
No! A pear is a fruit!
557
00:44:58,237 --> 00:44:59,864
Bye, Seafield.
558
00:45:34,523 --> 00:45:36,651
Aargh... Aargh!
559
00:45:40,446 --> 00:45:41,906
You killed me.
560
00:45:42,490 --> 00:45:46,077
'The wandering
cursed spirit will not rest
561
00:45:46,202 --> 00:45:52,625
'until it brings the cursee's
life to a resounding end.'
562
00:46:11,477 --> 00:46:13,813
Oh, my God, what's that?
563
00:46:15,356 --> 00:46:17,108
What...?
564
00:46:43,843 --> 00:46:45,928
'Next stop: Lighthouse Island.'
565
00:47:23,049 --> 00:47:26,135
'Prepare for arrival
at Lighthouse Island.'
566
00:48:15,017 --> 00:48:16,435
Captain?
567
00:48:21,482 --> 00:48:23,234
Captain?
568
00:48:25,152 --> 00:48:26,904
Captain?
569
00:48:28,364 --> 00:48:30,491
Uh... Captain?
570
00:48:34,787 --> 00:48:36,247
Captain?
571
00:48:37,915 --> 00:48:39,750
Yep, this is a phantom ship.
572
00:48:53,097 --> 00:48:56,183
Milwaukee? We're
going backwards.
573
00:48:59,061 --> 00:49:01,981
Gotta turn this bird around.
574
00:49:07,903 --> 00:49:11,615
♪ Dear Old Captain Seafield,
you're a stinker, it's true
575
00:49:11,740 --> 00:49:15,494
♪ You put forty odd bullets
through your favorite nephew
576
00:49:15,619 --> 00:49:19,540
♪ You ran from the battle,
your men never get paid
577
00:49:19,665 --> 00:49:25,838
♪ And down in the black of
your past lurks a mean old sea hag
578
00:49:31,051 --> 00:49:35,181
♪ Dear Old Captain Seafield,
you're a thief and a cheat
579
00:49:35,306 --> 00:49:39,226
♪ You broke into my lodging
and stole my good meat
580
00:49:39,351 --> 00:49:43,189
♪ You made eyes at me
daughter, you sullied my wife
581
00:49:43,314 --> 00:49:47,651
♪ You're a damn drunken
devil and the best friend... ♪
582
00:49:57,286 --> 00:50:00,414
Pure intuition! Ha-ha-ha!
583
00:50:22,603 --> 00:50:24,355
Aargh!
584
00:50:41,163 --> 00:50:42,581
Alright.
585
00:50:43,290 --> 00:50:44,875
Hmm... Er...
586
00:50:51,048 --> 00:50:52,841
Alright...
587
00:51:02,059 --> 00:51:03,852
Urgh...
588
00:51:03,978 --> 00:51:05,854
Uh...?
589
00:51:05,980 --> 00:51:07,398
No.
590
00:51:08,148 --> 00:51:10,276
Uh... ah...
591
00:51:11,443 --> 00:51:14,488
Ah... hmm...
592
00:51:15,447 --> 00:51:18,033
Ah, God, I wish I
was a sea captain.
593
00:51:20,828 --> 00:51:22,121
Ah...
594
00:51:25,416 --> 00:51:28,419
Shit! Oh!
595
00:51:35,759 --> 00:51:36,844
Shit.
596
00:51:52,359 --> 00:51:55,154
Perhaps this will do...
597
00:51:58,157 --> 00:52:00,784
Oh! Success!
598
00:52:09,877 --> 00:52:11,795
Ah, here we are.
599
00:52:15,841 --> 00:52:17,134
Yes!
600
00:52:39,615 --> 00:52:41,492
Hello, Ashcroft! Wh...?
601
00:52:52,169 --> 00:52:53,962
Seafield...
602
00:52:55,214 --> 00:52:57,925
There's something
I have to tell you.
603
00:52:59,093 --> 00:53:02,221
The reason we
don't have a mother
604
00:53:02,346 --> 00:53:07,476
is because she was
harpooned to death by our father.
605
00:53:24,034 --> 00:53:27,454
- Who wants fish sticks?
- Not now, Martha!
606
00:53:45,764 --> 00:53:48,809
'Go to the catacombs.'
607
00:55:09,056 --> 00:55:10,891
Ghost Army!
608
00:55:26,698 --> 00:55:29,868
Father... is dead.
609
00:55:31,411 --> 00:55:34,164
Ashcroft is also dead.
610
00:55:34,748 --> 00:55:36,166
Monster cut his head off.
611
00:55:36,291 --> 00:55:40,963
I did not want to ask for your help,
but now I'm running short on time.
612
00:55:42,589 --> 00:55:45,968
Anyways... uh...
613
00:55:48,387 --> 00:55:50,305
What've I got here?
614
00:55:54,810 --> 00:55:57,771
My life I vow...
615
00:55:58,856 --> 00:56:00,232
if you help me now.
616
00:56:06,822 --> 00:56:08,031
Anyone?
617
00:56:09,741 --> 00:56:13,370
My life I vow... if
you help me now.
618
00:56:17,040 --> 00:56:20,210
There's one. Yes, yes. Alright.
619
00:56:20,335 --> 00:56:25,299
Oh, we have two! Who's
next? Right here. Alright.
620
00:56:25,424 --> 00:56:27,676
Yes, yes, yes!
621
00:56:28,427 --> 00:56:32,556
Yes. Come! Follow
me, Ghost Army!
622
00:57:29,571 --> 00:57:31,531
Go get 'em, boys!
623
00:58:02,312 --> 00:58:03,522
Well?
624
00:58:41,309 --> 00:58:43,645
You're not good at
this game, Mr. Ghost.
625
00:58:45,939 --> 00:58:48,779
'This is Ghost 4 coming in on can
2, This is Ghost 4 coming in on can 2.
626
00:58:48,859 --> 00:58:51,153
'Like I said, this is Ghost
4 coming in on can 2.'
627
00:58:51,278 --> 00:58:54,072
Can you read me? Seafield, we
are having a lot of trouble down here.
628
00:58:54,197 --> 00:58:56,259
We got troop leaders in the front
getting demolished by this thing.
629
00:58:56,283 --> 00:58:59,012
We were not prepared for the serious
magnitude of this hellish sea beast...
630
00:58:59,036 --> 00:59:01,413
Oh! Oh, good God!
631
00:59:01,538 --> 00:59:05,042
Oh! Oh, Seafield, we
need to reassess our plan.
632
00:59:05,167 --> 00:59:08,003
We're losing a lot of good ghosts
down here. And we need a moment to...
633
00:59:13,925 --> 00:59:16,636
The battle wages on. Your move.
634
00:59:26,646 --> 00:59:31,109
You're worse than
Martha. And she's senile.
635
00:59:31,234 --> 00:59:32,986
Uh?
636
00:59:45,582 --> 00:59:47,709
It was a massacre.
637
01:00:03,141 --> 01:00:08,522
'Stop sending daddy's Ghost
Army. Come fight me yourself!'
638
01:01:12,419 --> 01:01:14,504
What...?
639
01:01:16,089 --> 01:01:18,550
- Oh!
- Die!
640
01:01:50,665 --> 01:01:52,417
A-ha-ha!
641
01:03:10,870 --> 01:03:14,082
Uh?
642
01:03:56,791 --> 01:03:58,793
Oh...
643
01:04:58,770 --> 01:05:00,980
Must be imagining things.
644
01:05:08,822 --> 01:05:10,031
What are you doing?
645
01:05:11,658 --> 01:05:12,909
What?
646
01:05:15,036 --> 01:05:16,329
What?
647
01:05:17,997 --> 01:05:19,874
Monster?
648
01:05:19,999 --> 01:05:21,960
In there?
649
01:05:26,297 --> 01:05:28,007
No! No, no, no, no.
650
01:05:28,133 --> 01:05:30,111
Wait, wait, wait. Hold on
one second. Wait, wait, wait.
651
01:05:30,135 --> 01:05:32,137
No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.
652
01:05:32,262 --> 01:05:34,431
No, no, no, Mr. Ghost,
you go in there first.
653
01:05:34,556 --> 01:05:36,599
I vowed my life to you people.
654
01:05:36,724 --> 01:05:41,479
Now, get in there and make
something happen. I believe in you.
655
01:06:02,000 --> 01:06:03,418
Shh!
656
01:06:14,387 --> 01:06:16,264
Ooh!
657
01:06:16,389 --> 01:06:18,516
Shh! Shh!
658
01:06:18,641 --> 01:06:20,727
Jesus! Goddamnit!
659
01:07:24,499 --> 01:07:25,917
Father.
660
01:07:57,532 --> 01:08:00,618
All out of patsies
are we, darling?
661
01:08:03,746 --> 01:08:05,498
Sea hag!
662
01:08:06,416 --> 01:08:08,751
I shall have my revenge!
663
01:08:08,876 --> 01:08:11,754
For my brother!
664
01:08:13,798 --> 01:08:17,677
Well, that was my
revenge for my unborn child!
665
01:08:18,386 --> 01:08:21,889
Well, that was my
revenge for my father!
666
01:08:27,228 --> 01:08:30,231
Well, that was my revenge...
667
01:08:30,356 --> 01:08:32,483
for your father...
668
01:08:32,609 --> 01:08:35,737
harpooning my mother to death!
669
01:08:38,573 --> 01:08:41,492
Oh, boo-hoo, he
harpooned my mother, too.
670
01:08:44,078 --> 01:08:45,663
Come here, baby...
671
01:08:55,173 --> 01:08:59,510
Seafield, he harpooned
my mother and your mother.
672
01:09:01,137 --> 01:09:03,306
Seafield...
673
01:09:03,431 --> 01:09:05,933
we have the same parents.
674
01:09:12,440 --> 01:09:14,275
Try to remember.
675
01:09:25,286 --> 01:09:27,455
Blasphemy!
676
01:09:27,580 --> 01:09:30,083
- What...?
- Liar!
677
01:09:39,425 --> 01:09:41,094
Damn!
678
01:10:04,450 --> 01:10:07,995
Uh... you must
be a visual learner.
679
01:10:16,045 --> 01:10:19,716
'Yes, we are kin, Seafield.
680
01:10:20,383 --> 01:10:25,179
'When the three of us were
little, our father was a drunkard.
681
01:10:25,304 --> 01:10:27,807
'Every night after work,
he would get hammered
682
01:10:27,932 --> 01:10:31,185
'and head to the lake to see
our hideous sea monster mother,
683
01:10:31,310 --> 01:10:34,147
'and love her for who she was.
684
01:10:34,897 --> 01:10:40,278
'But one day, he went to
the liquor store at 12:05,
685
01:10:40,403 --> 01:10:42,947
'five minutes after closing,
686
01:10:43,072 --> 01:10:48,119
'and could not purchase
any ice-cold Milwaukee brews.
687
01:10:48,244 --> 01:10:52,123
'He went home sober.
688
01:10:52,248 --> 01:10:54,834
'Upon seeing his wife through
sober eyes for the first time,
689
01:10:54,959 --> 01:10:59,046
'he was shocked at her disgusting
face and immediately harpooned her,
690
01:10:59,172 --> 01:11:02,967
'leaving the three of
us without a mother.
691
01:11:03,593 --> 01:11:08,681
'I have no patience for men who
come home sober and beat their wives.
692
01:11:08,806 --> 01:11:13,019
'So when I came of killing age, I
took vengeance upon the old man.
693
01:11:13,144 --> 01:11:16,564
'This gave me peace.
694
01:11:16,689 --> 01:11:20,651
'Now, I want to put our
violent past behind us.
695
01:11:20,777 --> 01:11:24,530
'So I birthed a child by
the naked swimming man.
696
01:11:24,655 --> 01:11:28,451
'But you rejected this peace
offering and killed your own nephew,
697
01:11:28,576 --> 01:11:32,580
'so I settled the
score with Ashcroft.
698
01:11:32,705 --> 01:11:36,250
'Now that we are even
once more, I ask you...'
699
01:11:41,380 --> 01:11:47,178
Brother, let us make peace
and end this cycle of vengeance.
700
01:12:00,691 --> 01:12:02,693
Come here, big sis!
701
01:12:02,819 --> 01:12:05,404
Oh! Come here, little bro!
702
01:12:05,530 --> 01:12:09,325
- I'm sorry!
- I'm sorry, too!
703
01:12:09,450 --> 01:12:12,245
- Bring it in!
- Bring it in.
704
01:12:32,223 --> 01:12:34,350
I didn't believe your
story for a second!
705
01:12:34,475 --> 01:12:37,395
It's true! I'm not lying!
706
01:12:37,520 --> 01:12:38,896
It's all lies!
707
01:12:39,021 --> 01:12:44,110
Everyone knows Milwaukee
liquor stores close at 9:00 not 12:00!
708
01:12:44,235 --> 01:12:48,197
Seafield, I'm your sister.
How could you kill your own...?
709
01:12:48,322 --> 01:12:51,200
Wait... 9:00?
710
01:12:51,325 --> 01:12:55,037
- 9:00pm?
- Yeah, I know.
711
01:12:56,664 --> 01:13:01,335
- That's just so early.
- I know, I know. It's actually ridiculous.
712
01:13:01,460 --> 01:13:03,546
I want to hear their
reasoning on that, you know.
713
01:13:03,671 --> 01:13:06,048
Granted. I think we
would all appreciate that.
714
01:13:06,173 --> 01:13:08,426
I mean, I don't have the
numbers in front of me...
715
01:13:08,551 --> 01:13:09,070
Well...
716
01:13:09,082 --> 01:13:11,679
How is that... I mean,
who's that helping?
717
01:13:11,804 --> 01:13:14,223
I honestly think
the idea is that, uh...
718
01:13:14,348 --> 01:13:17,852
people will go out to bars and
restaurants, you know, spend money.
719
01:13:17,977 --> 01:13:21,772
Help support the local economy, I think
that's where their heads are at, anyways.
720
01:13:24,358 --> 01:13:26,402
Maybe.
721
01:13:26,527 --> 01:13:29,488
Maybe, huh... Some of
the ordinances, I tell you.
722
01:13:29,614 --> 01:13:32,199
- Some of these ordinances, indeed.
- Huh!
723
01:13:32,325 --> 01:13:33,868
Hmm...
724
01:13:37,872 --> 01:13:40,374
And now to get my revenge!
725
01:13:42,627 --> 01:13:44,629
I've avenged you, father!
726
01:13:44,754 --> 01:13:47,131
I am a hero!
727
01:13:47,256 --> 01:13:49,425
Everyone, take heed!
728
01:13:54,805 --> 01:13:57,266
Ah... Oh...
729
01:14:07,318 --> 01:14:09,028
Thank you.
730
01:14:10,696 --> 01:14:12,448
Aargh! Ow!
731
01:14:12,573 --> 01:14:15,242
Thank you for avenging me.
732
01:14:19,038 --> 01:14:21,499
Oh... ha-ha-ha!
733
01:14:21,624 --> 01:14:25,378
Rest in peace, Sean Shaughnessy.
734
01:15:23,102 --> 01:15:27,523
♪ Dear Old Captain
Seafield, the monster, you say
735
01:15:27,648 --> 01:15:31,652
♪ Rose up from the depths,
and men started to pray
736
01:15:31,777 --> 01:15:36,073
♪ Your father stood
bravely with harpoon in hand
737
01:15:36,198 --> 01:15:42,997
♪ And that was the last
that anyone's seen of the man
738
01:15:47,918 --> 01:15:52,590
♪ Dear Old Captain Seafield,
with your old man long gone
739
01:15:52,715 --> 01:15:56,594
♪ You sure found some
trouble and it didn't take long
740
01:15:56,719 --> 01:16:00,890
♪ You assembled a fine
crew of misfits and scum
741
01:16:01,015 --> 01:16:03,768
♪ So roll up your
sleeves, you skullduggers
742
01:16:03,893 --> 01:16:07,563
♪ And mind you the rum
743
01:16:12,485 --> 01:16:17,531
♪ Dear Old Captain
Seafield, he went off to sea
744
01:16:17,656 --> 01:16:21,744
♪ He came back no captain,
though pretended to be
745
01:16:21,869 --> 01:16:25,748
♪ He said he'd found
treasure on far distant shore
746
01:16:25,873 --> 01:16:32,463
♪ But all he could show was
some crabs he caught from a whore
747
01:16:43,474 --> 01:16:48,145
♪ Dear Old Captain
Seafield, he stumbled the world
748
01:16:48,270 --> 01:16:52,274
♪ And told his lying brags
down to every sweet girl
749
01:16:52,399 --> 01:16:56,695
♪ He'll try to impress you
with maps and with charts
750
01:16:56,821 --> 01:17:02,952
♪ But truly his gift is to
clear out the bar with his farts
751
01:17:08,916 --> 01:17:13,212
♪ Dear Old Captain Seafield,
you're a wild game of chance
752
01:17:13,337 --> 01:17:17,299
♪ His luck comes and goes
like the moon and his pants
753
01:17:17,424 --> 01:17:21,595
♪ You live by a code
these damn pirates still swear
754
01:17:21,720 --> 01:17:24,515
♪ The stray dogs,
they love him for sure
755
01:17:24,640 --> 01:17:28,561
♪ The cats, they beware
756
01:17:35,109 --> 01:17:39,071
♪ Dear Old Captain Seafield! ♪
57977
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