All language subtitles for English.Teacher.S01E03.WEB.x264-TORRENTGALAXY

Up, one!

Up, two!

Up, three!

You want the
margarita? Prove it!

Oh, my God.

Hey, Harry. Up!

Um, do you come...

Up!
- I can'’t...

Up!
- I can'’t hear you.

Do you... Okay,
we can talk after.

- I didn'’t know you came to this.
- Yeah.

It'’s kind of intense,
but I'’m into it.

Yeah.

All right. I think I'’m
gonna go shower off.

Oh, yes. They got
nice showers here.

♪ I'’m not hiding ♪

♪ The remedy to cure
This old heart of mine ♪

♪ I can dream about you If
I can'’t Hold you tonight... ♪

It'’s huge. Just like...

Just so big. And I
hate that I saw it.

- And it makes you, like, sick?
- No, it'’s, like, inappropriate.

Like, I shouldn'’t
know what another

teacher'’s dick in
this school looks like.

Ah. But it'’s, like, a locker room.
Doesn'’t that happen all the time?

No, no, no. You don'’t get it,
Gwen. He wanted me to see it.

- And he got what he wanted.
- Oh, you thought he did it on purpose?

Yes. I'’m telling you. I'’m
coming out of the shower.

He sees me. He
goes like this. Really.

Maybe he'’s, like, not even gay,

and he was just like...
..."God, what'’s up?"

No, no, he'’s gay.

He has a rainbow flag
in his Instagram bio.

Well, maybe he'’s an ally.

Maybe he'’s an ally by means of
being gay and hooking up with guys.

I'’ve literally talked to
him about dating men.

Okay. So, what'’s the
problem? Sorry, I'’m not tracking.

He'’s attractive.

Then he puts his horse cock in my face
this morning, and I'’m not allowed to...

- Suck it?
- No, date other faculty.

Because of the
investigation thing.

Oh.

Maybe he'’s not trying to date you.
Like, that feels kind of like a leap.

No, he'’s trying to date me.

As you know,
we'’re in the process

of replacing our school
mascot "The Dragons"

with the newly voted upon
"The Horses." "The Horses."

A student competition
is underway to help

choose the new logo.
The new look of the logo...

Did you get a chance to
take a look at any of those?

The kids are mostly
drawing penises.

Uh, well, no, I haven'’t had a
chance, but that is disappointing.

So what I was thinking
is, I actually know

this great company that
can help out with this.

They redid the mascots for, like,
five or six local schools last year.

Really did a bang-up job.

They let the kids
come up with the art,

but then this company
comes in and executes.

Makes it looks
completely professional.

Okay, the student logo design
competition is already underway, Rick...

Listen, man! This
is personal. All right?

"The Dragons" was
offensive to my people.

Your people?

What people? College counselors?

My people.

The people that I come from.

Heaven?

Whatever he is, his
lineage should be celebrated.

Whether he be a white man, a
Black man, a proud Indian brave...

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Jesus, Markie.

Thank you.

Rick, if you know of a company

that can handle this in a
professional and effective manner,

then yes, you can be our
liaison on that, all right?

Yes! Hell, yeah. Let'’s
get it. All right, guys.

This is perfect timing actually

because kids aren'’t even
thinking about college yet.

It'’s your company, right?

- Who'’s to say?
- No, it'’s his company.

Last but not least, we need to
assign some duties and committees.

Gwendolyn, I need you
on bus duty this week.

And from what I can tell, the
only person not on a committee

is you, Evan and Harry,

so, uh, I'’m gonna
have you two together

to head up the
homecoming dance, all right?

- Okay.
- No. No, no, no.

- I'’m... I'm... No, I really am...
- All right, we are dismissed, okay?

Go inspire those
young, warped minds.

I wanna sing the national
anthem this morning.

Why would they do this to me?

Grant, can I talk to
you for a second?

- These are crazy.
- What do you want?

I'’m thinking it might be
good if you unpair Harry and I

for this homecoming dance thing.

Why?

I can'’t tell you why,
but just trust me.

I mean, I can unpair you,
but I'’ll need a clear reason.

Otherwise, it'’ll look
like homophobia.

How'’s it gonna look
like homophobia?

If I separate two gay men,
isn'’t that homophobia?

I can see the logic.

Some of these kids
could get into Parsons.

It'’s really beautiful work.

Can you just... I... I
think... Just unpair us.

- It'’s... It'll be good.
- No, Evan.

Just do your job. Stop creating
drama where there is none.

Just plan the... plan
the homecoming dance.

Go.

This horse will do.

Rick, I found a winner.

Okay. So,

how much do we think the author is
writing based on his own experiences?

Do it. Just say something.

Chelsea, what'’s going on?

Um, Mr. Marquez, I'’m
sorry to interrupt class,

but it'’s actually
super triggering for me

to be reading a book
about a disease right now

with everything
I'’m going through.

Because of everything
you'’re going through?

What are you going
through, Kayla?

The rest of the class sort
of already knows about this.

But recently... Mmm.

...I was successfully
diagnosed...

...with something called...

You'’re doing great, Kayla.

It'’s okay.
- Be present with your illness, okay?

Asymptomatic Tourette'’s.

What?

So what Tourette'’s
syndrome is, right...

No, I know what
Tourette'’s syndrome is.

Oh, great. Okay. So it sounds
like you'’re halfway there,

and you'’re taking an opportunity
to be educated, which is honorable.

- Thank you.
- So, asymptomatic Tourette'’s, right?

It'’s like Tourette's syndrome with
the tics and, like, the hardship, right?

But without any symptoms.

So in its way, AT is harder.

- Because...
- What is AT?

Oh, asymptomatic
Tourette'’s. Okay.

- Uh-huh.
- It is harder.

Because people have,
like, actually no idea

the battle that people like Kayla
are fighting inside every day.

It'’s a silent killer.

And someone actually
diagnosed you with this?

It'’s disrespectful to ask
that. I'’m so sorry... It'’s okay.

You can'’t blame people for
making really huge mistakes

when they haven'’t
learned the etiquette.

It'’s only self-diagnosable.

I see.

She'’s making up this
whole fake disease.

She'’s describing the symptoms.
There aren'’t any symptoms.

She'’s calling it
asymptomatic Tourette'’s.

I feel like I'’ve never
related to you more

about these kids just making
up crazy shit for their own benefit.

It'’s insane.

Have you done a full and
comprehensive diagnostic

to see if there'’s any potential
underlying symptoms?

I'’m not a doctor,

but I don'’t have to be a doctor

to know that this girl is
making something up.

Tell you what, I'’ll come by
your classroom tomorrow.

Get a firsthand
assessment of her condition.

You'’re not a doctor.

Two and a half more credits in

kinesiology, and I
would'’ve been a doctor.

Okay.

So then the blue
streamers the school has.

I have to buy gold streamers.

And then there'’s a ladder
I think in the utility closet.

Yeah, it'’s basically
that. Right?

Wow, I did not realize that
we had, like, an agenda.

Oh, yeah. The... The... I just, um, have
to get home to grade all these papers.

Yeah, okay. Blue and
gold streamers it is.

Ugh. Oh, my God. I'’m
sorry that took so long.

One of the managers was, like, low-key
sexually harassing me in the back.

I'’m sorry to ask this,
are you guys gay?

- Mm-hmm. Yeah.
- Mmm. Yeah.

My people. Thank God.

When you walked
in, I clocked you,

and I was like, "Hey, sister."

And it'’s, like, the community
in Austin is amazing,

but, like, I keep trying
to reach out to people,

and they'’re like, "You'’re
toxic," or "I'’m busy," and I'm like,

"Babe, I have zero friends."

I moved here from Michigan.

So, my dears, what can I get
you two lovebirds for din-din?

Oh. Sorry. We'’re not
lovebirds. We just work together.

Oh, my God.

I think maybe we need
a little bit more time.

No sweat.

Uh, if you need anything, holler
"Clarkson." My name'’s Daniel.

So I'’m... I'm realizing actually
I can do a lot of this alone.

So I might just head home,
and, uh, I'’ll get my food to go.

Hey, but, okay,
we'’re here though.

And I just got my wine, so...

Look, I get it. This
committee shit. It'’s annoying.

But, like, let'’s just, you
know, have some fun with it.

Okay. That'’s fine.

Oh, I have a few ideas for the playlist,
if you want to talk about that?

Don'’t the kids do the music?

Yeah, see, I don'’t think
that'’s a good idea, right?

Because at my last school,
we let a kid deejay the prom,

and then he tried to play an entire
episode of Dax Shepard'’s podcast.

- Which episode?
- Oh.

I'’ve actually been
super into this song lately.

I... I'’ll just play it for you.

Oh, my God.

♪ Close your eyes Give
me your hand, darling ♪

♪ Do you feel My heart
beating? Do you understand? ♪

♪ Do you feel the same... ♪

Are you fucking kidding? You
come to my favorite restaurant?

I'’m six months
pregnant, you bitch.

Malcolm. I'’m kidding.

- What the fuck are you doing here?
- Hey, babe. Come here.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Ah, that'’s...
- Miss you.

Sorry. Malcolm, this is Harry.

He works at Morrison
now. Harry, this is Malcolm.

- He used to work at Morrison, but...
- Yes. Yes.

I used to work at Morrison.

Until I got fired
for fucking him.

That is not what happened.

Yeah, we had sex.
Penetrative. Top. Bottom.

- That is really not what happened.
- And I got fired.

He was... He'’s my
ex-boyfriend, and now I'’m single.

Which I like. I like being single,
and I don'’t want to have a...

I'’m not... I'm not
open to relationships.

Okay. High-strung
tonight. Mm-hmm.

Is he being weird on
your date? It'’s not a date.

Um, hey, did... did the waiter
ask you if you were gay?

No. I guess I give
off, like, a masc vibe.

Sometimes I wish I was
more femme like you guys.

I'’ve tried to be femme for clout. It
just doesn'’t come naturally to me.

I-I... You'’re leaving.

Do I have to?

- I could stay and hang out.
- No, you'’re leaving.

I'’m gonna leave
with you. I have to go.

I just... He can give me a ride.

- I can give him a ride.
- A ride to your car?

A ride to my car,
exactly. Yeah, so...

Hey, nice to meet you.

Great work. And I-I
will see you at work.

- You too. Asante.
- Um...

Thanks so much. Okay.

Whoo! We did it. He'’s hot.

I literally have COVID.

He'’s hot, huh?

Harry.

My God.

I can'’t believe Grant found
the second-hottest gay guy

in Austin to replace me.

It'’s just this whole thing
because he'’s into me,

and he'’s like... I can tell
he'’s trying to make a move.

Really?

- Yeah.
- He'’s into you?

I didn'’t get that vibe at all.

- Malcolm.
- I truly didn'’t.

He literally played a gorgeous
song like this on his phone.

So we had to smoosh
our faces together.

But that doesn'’t mean anything. I
mean, I... People do that all the time.

People play music for each other.
It'’s, like, not really a big deal.

I actually think I was
getting a vibe from him.

He looked at me,
and it kind of gave like,

"Let'’s kiss and also
fuck. Right now."

Oh, my God.

Oh! You'’re jealous.

I like that. More
of that face, please.

It'’s the most boyfriend-y thing
you'’ve done to me in months.

Hey, guys, before we get started
today here... Settle down, settle down.

Um, before class starts today, I
would like to take some ownership

and say a few words about AT, also
known as asymptomatic Tourette'’s.

Come on.

- Uh-huh, Chelsea. Yes.
- It'’s not called AT anymore.

That'’s actually
super disrespectful.

Oh. What is it called now?

KS. It stands for
Kayla Syndrome.

It'’s named as an "in
memoriam" to Kayla.

- Deirdre, I think you mean a tribute.
- No.

Okay.

Are you getting that? Does
that make sense to you, sir?

Oh, so it'’s named after Kayla.

Okay. That'’s cool.

It'’s actually not cool.
Are you seeing this girl?

She'’s sick as a dog. Yeah.

Well, I apologize, Kayla.

I'’m sorry that you
have Kayla Syndrome.

So it'’s actually better
if you just call it KS.

- Okay.
- Because it'’s super triggering

- for Kayla to hear her own name...
- Absolutely.

- ...brought up in that context.
- Gotcha.

- Makes sense.
- You know, part of me wonders...

You... You have
something to say?

Say it. Just say it.

Coach Hillridge, do
you have any thoughts?

I'’m just here to listen.

- That'’s why you the man.
- Thank you, Coach Hillridge.

That means a lot.

You'’re welcome, Kayla.

Yes. Thank you, sir.

Chelsea, you'’re welcome.

Did anybody do the homework? No.

We'’ve all been
dealing with this. Right.

You'’re all getting
your medical degrees.

- Have a good one, Jake.
- All right.

So after witnessing that,
do you still think AT is...

KS.

- KS. You still think
it'’s a real disease?

Look, it'’s actually
quite simple.

Kayla and Chelsea, best
friends since freshman year, right?

- Side by side, socially speaking.
- Uh-huh.

Last month, Chelsea'’s out for a
couple of weeks. Remember that?

The whole time she'’s
gone, all Kayla could hear is,

"Where'’s Chelsea? Is Chelsea
gonna be out for much longer?"

So then Kayla'’s getting
jealous, and she comes up with...

Asymptomatic Tourette'’s.

And it worked for a time.

But then Chelsea starts rallying

everyone to be super
supportive of Kayla.

And what does that do?

Makes everybody talk about
how great and caring Chelsea is.

Chelsea did the same
thing to Renee last

year, and Renee is
still not back at 100%.

You know what I'’m
saying? Who'’s Renee?

Come on, man. She goes by Deirdre in the
classroom, Renee in the friend group.

Keep up, Marquez.

It'’s just so much information.

But that'’s beside the
point. It brings us to today.

The events of what happened
here in your classroom.

Who speaks up
on Kayla'’s behalf?

Who started making sure
everyone was sympathetic

to the journey
that Kayla was on?

Who renamed the goddamn disease?

Chelsea.

Kayla'’s whole gambit to gain
sympathy has turned into nothing more

than a vehicle for
Chelsea'’s rapid

ascent to the upper
echelon of popularity.

That'’s crazy. You got all this
from 20 minutes in my classroom?

I only needed ten.

♪ I'’ve fallen in love
And there'’s no... ♪

You know, I have to say, you
are the hottest man I'’ve ever met.

Stop.

What'’d you think of my
dick in the locker room?

I loved it.

I knew you wanted me to
see it, but Gwen thought...

Well, Gwen was wrong.

And Markie is also wrong.

About everything.

I know.

♪ You got the touch ♪

Evan, I'’m trying to take a
nap. So it better be important.

It is. Listen, to put it simply,
Harry'’s extremely into me. Okay?

And I know I'’m not allowed
to date other teachers,

and I think he'’s gonna
try to do something about it.

And I'’m trying to avoid
it, but it could happen.

Somebody who looks like
Harry would not be into you.

- This is not a problem.
- You don'’t get it.

We were in the locker
room the other day,

and he takes off his towel
in front of me on purpose.

He showed me his
incredible ass and dick.

No. Stop it. Stop it, Evan.

I was exhausted
just by the fantasies...

...that came just
from seeing it initially.

Evan. Evan. Stop.

- We did not have this conversation.
- We had this conversation.

- I'’ll see you at the dance.
- I am hot.

I am considered hot in
my community, okay?

I don'’t care if you all
think I'’m basic-looking.

I'’m an attractive gay guy.

♪ You got the touch of love ♪

♪ And I just Can'’t get enough ♪

Oh, Evan. This
streamer just ripped.

Will you hold the ladder?

You don'’t need me to
hold the ladder, Harry.

I have to make more punch.

Okay.

Ashley, your mom did such a
good job with those sugar cookies.

I love them.

- God, he looks so good tonight.
- Hey.

But I don'’t care
how hard he tries.

Nothing is gonna
happen between us.

Is it possible...

...he'’s maybe not trying to
make something happen?

You know, like, you'’re very
handsome and... You'’re so handsome.

But maybe you'’re
just reading into it.

No, it feels unmistakable.

Sorry. Um, Evan,

could I speak to you
outside for a second?

Sure.

Sorry. Evening, sir.

Um...

Did I do something
to offend you?

No. Of course not.

Uh-huh. Because you...

...you'’ve been acting
very weird with me all week.

I'’m... I'm...

Harry, I'’m being weird because if
something happened between us,

it would be very
catastrophic for my life.

Okay? I think you know this already.
I'’m not allowed to date teachers

because of a very
specific situation in my life.

So if something happens between you and
I, you know, i-it'’s not gonna be good.

You wanna fuck me. I
wanna fuck you. I get it.

This is clear as day, but it'’s
gonna go beyond that, okay?

We'’re gonna wanna
start dating each other.

We'’re probably potentially
gonna wanna get married.

Then, what happens?
One of us is gonna quit?

I can'’t just report this
marriage to the board.

One of us is gonna
have to quit the job.

And so that'’s... that'’s
where I draw the line.

And I don'’t care
how bad you want it.

I don'’t care how bad I want it.

It'’s not happening, okay? I'’m not
throwing away my life for... for you.

For... For whatever this thing is that
you'’re imagining that we have together.

Evan, take a breath.

Um, first of all, I-I
have a boyfriend.

- I'’m... It's... It'’s not even...
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

No, no, no. It'’s
okay. I do this.

- This is something I do, actually.
- No, it'’s...

I think people are into me
when they'’re not into me.

And I think I'’m,
like... I have this, like,

inflated sense of my
own attractiveness.

And I think I'’m,
like, this hunky guy.

And then I get really attracted
to really good-looking guys.

And then I find out they were
never thinking of me like that.

- I have a funny-looking face.
- Evan. Evan.

If you would let me
talk for a second...

Is this Kayla Syndrome?

No, it'’s... I'm sorry.
That'’s so stupid.

I... There... Yes.

We can just be coworkers. I
really appreciate it. I'’m sorry.

Evan.

I'’m serious. You
don'’t need to save me.

I'’m fine. Thank you.

Hello. Hello. Hey, hello, everyone.
Gather around, gather around.

Oh, God. I just had the
weirdest interaction with Harry.

He'’s not into me.
You were so right.

- I was just making the whole thing up.
- That'’s great.

Before we announce our
homecoming court winners,

we will have a brief presentation
of our new school mascot

designed by the R.C.K. Group.

All right.

Where da weed at?

Nah, I'’m just messing
around. You guys are good kids.

I'’m now excited and thrilled to
present your new school mascot,

- Michael the Horse!
- Oh, Michael. Not even alliteration.

Come on!

Let'’s go!

Boo! Get the hell off the stage!

Thank you. Thank
you, R.C.K. Group.

I guess we'’ll just remain "The
Dragons" for the time being.

So now for your homecoming
court queen, Kayla Stephenson.

Kayla Stephenson.

Yeah, Kayla!

- Are you crying?
- She did it.

Thank you. This
means the world to me.

But there'’s someone
here tonight who could

use this tiara a whole
lot more than me.

Chelsea.

I don'’t care what Thomas
said about you last night.

You'’re the coolest.

This is for you.

Aw!

What the hell was that?

I had a little chat with Kayla.
Gave her some sage wisdom.

- What'’d you tell her?
- The truth.

The best way to gain power
is to artificially give it away.

- Thank you.
- All right.

Congratulations. Both of you.

- So you solved it?
- Yep.

At least until Lauren gets
her Invisalign out. I mean...

Who is Lauren?

Come on, dude.

- You don'’t know who Lauren is?
- Wow.

You guys are obsessed
with the students

in a way that is weird to me.

♪ Close your eyes Give
me your hand, darling... ♪

What'’s up?

Um.

You kind of just left

before we had a chance
to finish our conversation.

I did?

Yeah.

Yeah. I guess I
felt like I was, like...

The longer I stayed out there, the
more I was gonna say insane shit.

It'’s probably
the right instinct.

Yeah.

I don'’t know what's
wrong with me sometimes.

Honestly, I kinda liked
seeing you like that.

It was cute.

Really?

Really.

But you have a boyfriend.

It'’s not the '50s, man.

We'’re open.

- Oh, you'’re open. Of course.
- Yeah.

- Yeah.
- That makes sense.

♪ Or is this burning ♪

♪ An eternal flame? ♪

♪ Close your eyes ♪

Jesus. Jesus. Jesus.

- What the hell, man?
- This was a mistake.

- What wrong with you?
- This was a mistake.

I got caught up in the moment,
and that doesn'’t matter though,

because that moment
did not even happen.

Okay. Okay.

So you'’re like crazy, crazy.

Got it.

I'’m gonna leave.

Good. That'’s what
I want you to do.

♪ I can dream about you
If I can'’t hold you tonight ♪

♪ I can dream about you You
know how to hold me Just right ♪

♪ I can dream about you You
know how to hold me Just right ♪

♪ Oh, I can dream about you ♪

♪ If I can'’t Hold you tonight ♪

♪ I can dream about you ♪

♪ Oh, I can dream I can dream ♪

- ♪ I can dream about you ♪
- ♪ Dream about you ♪

♪ Oh, I can dream about you ♪