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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:06,680 [ukulele playing] 2 00:00:18,320 --> 00:00:19,560 Can you not? 3 00:00:26,080 --> 00:00:27,800 I'm surprising someone in London... 4 00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:37,440 [ukulele strumming] 5 00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:40,040 ♪ Someone needs an orgasm ♪ 6 00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:44,320 [theme music playing] 7 00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:58,200 [Sam] Stop being anal, Kate. It's just a party. 8 00:00:58,280 --> 00:01:00,280 -Please. Yes. -[Kate] No. No. 9 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:02,320 -Yes! It's my birthday. -No! 10 00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:04,600 We are not allowed parties. 11 00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:06,680 We will get kicked out. 12 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:09,240 All right, how is not wanting to be homeless anal? 13 00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:10,760 Just a small little gathering. 14 00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:12,360 You can invite Jessica for my sex. 15 00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:14,160 I don't want work people seeing where I live, thanks. 16 00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:15,240 They'll think I'm a squatter. 17 00:01:15,320 --> 00:01:18,040 Look, the whole point of living in a disused hospital 18 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:19,440 is to get a girl on a slab. 19 00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:20,440 [laughs] No, Sam, 20 00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:22,600 it's to save money for a deposit on an actual house. 21 00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:24,480 Oh, yeah, as if that's what we're all doing here. 22 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:25,400 Come on, Kate. 23 00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:26,960 [whispers] I'll go down on you. 24 00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:28,920 Don't go down on my fiancée. 25 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:30,360 Baby, the pigeon's in the shower again. 26 00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:32,000 It's nice to know he's looking after himself. 27 00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:33,400 Just throw it over him. 28 00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:35,120 It's not moving and it's looking right at me. 29 00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:36,720 -I'll go. -Oh, my God! 30 00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:37,960 I'm going to have to say it. 31 00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:39,640 He's going to say something terrible. 32 00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:43,440 It's my first birthday since my dad died. 33 00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:45,520 There, said it. 34 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:47,880 -What's this? -He wants a party. 35 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:50,440 No one should have to go around carrying this much grief 36 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:52,720 and this much semen. 37 00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:54,720 Something bad is bound to happen. 38 00:01:55,160 --> 00:01:57,360 -You're unbelievable. -I'm an orphan. 39 00:01:57,440 --> 00:01:59,120 -You have a mum. -She lives south of the river. 40 00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:00,800 Compliment her again and she'll do it. 41 00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:05,320 You've got really fit hair. 42 00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:07,080 I'm going to be late. 43 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:09,960 We're organizing a massive treasure hunt today for a shoe shop. 44 00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:10,840 Mmm. 45 00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:13,880 -Maybe we could do something like that. -Oh, you're an angel! 46 00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:15,160 The pigeon puffs up when it's angry. 47 00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:17,480 -I know, baby. -You're my hero. 48 00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:21,480 Uh, Melody, when you want me, I am all yours. 49 00:02:22,840 --> 00:02:25,640 Come on, one poke. Melody, what have I got to do? 50 00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:27,120 -Really? -Yeah. 51 00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:28,240 -Drug me. -Wow. 52 00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:30,400 -And then never tell me. -Wow. Really? 53 00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:31,320 Yeah. 54 00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:38,080 [man over PA] Ladies and gentlemen, this bus will be terminating 55 00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:40,400 at London Victoria in approximately 15 minutes. 56 00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:41,280 [snoring] 57 00:02:49,080 --> 00:02:50,480 [snoring continues] 58 00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:00,280 What the fuck? 59 00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:01,680 [music playing] 60 00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:05,680 This place is amazing. 61 00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:08,080 I know, it's brilliant. Thanks for taking me. 62 00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:09,360 [indistinct talking] 63 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:10,840 [laughing] 64 00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:22,600 [music playing] 65 00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:25,520 [indistinct talking] 66 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:34,080 Forgive me, Kate. 67 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:37,160 It appears you live in a hospital. 68 00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:39,320 Please don't tell anyone at work. 69 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:42,360 I'm not a squatter, OK? I do pay. 70 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:45,480 Me and Anthony are just saving for the wedding and... 71 00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:48,000 -I'm just not a squatter. -No, no. 72 00:03:48,080 --> 00:03:50,000 Congratulations, by the way. 73 00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:52,160 He cooks a mean curry. 74 00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:54,040 Oh! Thanks! 75 00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:57,160 I still get coy when he takes his shirt off. 76 00:03:58,000 --> 00:03:59,200 What was your wedding like? 77 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:02,560 Where are you staying while your divorce wraps up? 78 00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:04,000 Um... 79 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:08,760 Still on the sofa. Cara's moved him in now. 80 00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:11,720 It's, uh, a little awkward in the mornings, 81 00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:15,480 but they're usually in bed by the time I get back, 82 00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:18,560 which is a small mercy, I suppose. 83 00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:20,200 Oh, God, Colin! 84 00:04:20,280 --> 00:04:22,960 There's a spare ward going here if you need the space. 85 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:25,280 Thank you. I... I'll think about it. 86 00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:27,040 Melody! 87 00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:29,800 This is Crying Colin from work... 88 00:04:30,280 --> 00:04:31,960 Colin from work. 89 00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:34,040 He's thinking about moving into the spare ward. 90 00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:38,120 -Are you poor? -Um, no. Just... 91 00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:39,080 Lonely? 92 00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:42,240 -Well, I'm going through a divorce. -So both. 93 00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:45,720 [chuckles] I suppose so, yes. 94 00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:49,480 Do you enjoy living here? 95 00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:54,200 Well, you're not allowed to have parties, cook meals, 96 00:04:54,280 --> 00:04:58,280 light candles, have sex, express emotion, claim any rights, 97 00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:01,480 argue if they want to throw you out with only two days' notice, 98 00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:02,600 or smoke. 99 00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:06,240 It's a riot. 100 00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:08,400 Gosh. 101 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:14,080 Happy birthday, dude. 102 00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:17,240 Ah! 103 00:05:17,680 --> 00:05:19,480 Mmm. Stop. 104 00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:21,360 Stop it. 105 00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:27,120 Stop it. 106 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:31,000 [all chanting] 107 00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:34,520 [cheering] 108 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:41,040 [Kate] OK, OK, everybody, everybody! 109 00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:43,000 Line up for the treasure hunt. 110 00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:44,360 [cheering] 111 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:47,800 There are clues on every floor of the hospital. 112 00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:51,360 Do not change your partner once you've been allocated one, OK? 113 00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:52,720 -It's going to be... -Anal! 114 00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:53,920 Super fun. 115 00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:57,440 Right. Purnima and... 116 00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:58,720 -Sam! -Harry. 117 00:05:58,800 --> 00:05:59,840 [cheering] 118 00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:03,880 -Jessica, Jessica, Jessica... -[Kate] Jessica and... 119 00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:04,960 Sam! 120 00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:07,640 That unbelievably hot guy. 121 00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:09,880 -[wolf whistling] -What? Who even is that? 122 00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:11,120 Who brought that? 123 00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:14,080 Kate, mate, digging the squat. 124 00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:15,200 It's not a squat. 125 00:06:15,280 --> 00:06:17,960 -Melody and... -Sam! 126 00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:19,120 Colin. 127 00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:25,280 Anthony and... 128 00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:26,360 -Lulu? -[Kate] me! 129 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,400 No fucking way! 130 00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:30,520 Oh, my God! 131 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:32,560 Oh, my God! What are you doing here? 132 00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:34,560 Look at your stupid face. 133 00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:36,600 Oh, my God, don't say anything! 134 00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:38,240 Oh, my God, you have to meet Kate! 135 00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:41,320 Oh, Kate, this is... This is Lulu. 136 00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:44,360 -My Lulu. -Wow! Lulu! 137 00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:48,000 Lulu! Oh, it's so great to finally meet you. 138 00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:49,000 You, too. 139 00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:51,920 Is that a ukulele? Wow, quirky! 140 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:53,720 Yeah, thanks. I try really hard. 141 00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:57,280 You must be the brilliant Kate. My God! 142 00:06:57,360 --> 00:07:00,040 -Oh! -Wow, you are gorgeous. 143 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,400 What are you doing with this shitbag? 144 00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:04,280 Oh, just... You know, just... 145 00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:05,760 Just... 146 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,440 -She totally loves me. -No, I don't! [chuckles] 147 00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:12,320 -You don't? -No, I do. 148 00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:15,640 A lot. I love him so much, I could die. 149 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:17,560 [kisses] 150 00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:19,920 -So you're here! -Yeah! 151 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:22,320 Fucking look at you! I've missed you so much. 152 00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:25,080 Hey! Sugar-tits. 153 00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:27,600 OK, no, don't speak to him. I grew up with her. 154 00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:30,040 She is red zone. She's basically my sister. 155 00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:32,360 You guys look really similar. 156 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:34,800 -Yeah, I guess we... -No, I don't think so. 157 00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:38,000 So, I'm Sam and I am amazing. 158 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:39,320 [Melody] He's a pervert. 159 00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:40,960 Mmm. This is Melody. She's a hot frog. 160 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:42,640 -She's a teacher. -I'm an artist. 161 00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:44,360 And you've met Kate. She's really anal. 162 00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:47,800 [laughs] I am not anal. 163 00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:49,160 Do you all live here? 164 00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:50,760 We're not friends. We just share a floor. 165 00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:52,280 -What are you doing here? -Oh, I don't know. 166 00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:53,840 I've just got to find somewhere to live 167 00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:56,240 and then I'm just going to be completely on top of this one. 168 00:07:56,320 --> 00:07:57,200 [anthony grunts] 169 00:07:57,280 --> 00:07:58,320 Can I dump my stuff? 170 00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:00,040 Sure, yeah. I'll show you round the wards. 171 00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:01,680 OK, I'm just about to start the treasure hunt. 172 00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:03,000 We'll just be a couple of secs. 173 00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:08,960 "Sex." 174 00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:12,240 OK, OK. 175 00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:16,160 Uh, Sam and Fred. 176 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:17,400 Fred? Who's she? 177 00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:19,600 He lives with us, you moron. 178 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:20,760 Hi. 179 00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:23,880 Oh, Jesus. 180 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:26,920 -[Kate] Josh and Vicky. -[Cheering] 181 00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:31,150 OK, baby-cakes, your penis is a bit of a problem for me, 182 00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:32,960 so we're just going to have to forget that exists while we do this. 183 00:08:33,030 --> 00:08:34,000 Capisce? 184 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:36,480 -Capisce. -That's my girl. 185 00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:39,030 -OK, everybody, let the-- -[music playing] 186 00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:43,360 Let the treasure hunt commence! 187 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:45,280 [all cheering] 188 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:48,800 What are you doing here, Lu? 189 00:08:48,880 --> 00:08:51,800 -Ah, I missed you. -Yeah, and? 190 00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:56,240 Steven kicked me out, so I left town, did a bit of traveling. 191 00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:57,480 What? Where did you go? 192 00:08:57,560 --> 00:08:58,800 Mainly the Midlands, 193 00:08:58,880 --> 00:09:01,800 but, uh, I spent a bit of time in Bristol, which was really intense. 194 00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:04,080 -Out the way, out the way! -Whoa! 195 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:06,520 Hey, Lulu-licious, do you want to, uh, swap partners? 196 00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:08,720 No way. You two are perfect for each other. 197 00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:10,840 -Ooh, you're cheeky. I like that. -Red zone? 198 00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:17,200 -He's hot. -No, he's not. 199 00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:20,200 -Hmm. -So, this is new. 200 00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:22,000 Yeah, it's my uku-Lulu. 201 00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:23,080 Can you play? 202 00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:27,280 ♪ Even though I know I'm not a lesbian for sure ♪ 203 00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:30,680 ♪ I sometimes look up lesbian porn ♪ 204 00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:33,680 ♪ And it really, really Really gets me off ♪ 205 00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:34,800 Yes! 206 00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:37,000 Uh, homeless people. 207 00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:42,360 ♪ I sometimes feel bad if they Have scabs on their faces ♪ 208 00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:43,840 -Oh! -What? 209 00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:45,280 I think my tampon just came out a bit. 210 00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:47,720 Uh, can I do anything? 211 00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:49,960 -Yeah, actually, if you could just... -Wow, OK. 212 00:09:50,040 --> 00:09:52,120 -I was joking! -Thank God! 213 00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:53,360 What were you going to do? 214 00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:55,560 -Help you. I don't know! Ugh. -Hey... 215 00:09:55,640 --> 00:09:56,920 You would love my vagina. 216 00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:03,080 She really went for it. Wow! 217 00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:05,720 -Boom. Big one. Lift me, princess. -OK! 218 00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:08,040 Brilliant. This is so much fun. 219 00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:11,400 Hey, we have actually met before, 220 00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:14,360 in the laundry room when you were stealing that girl's-- 221 00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:15,840 Oh, shit-fit. 222 00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:17,080 "The envelopes on the ceiling 223 00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:19,160 "all contain X-rays with the letters of the alphabet hidden in them. 224 00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:20,600 "Find all the letters and they will make up 225 00:10:20,680 --> 00:10:21,960 the name of the room the prize is in." 226 00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:25,280 She is so fucking anal. I love her. Let's go! 227 00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:27,600 -Vault me, vault me! -Yes, I will! 228 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:29,800 Ah! 229 00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:33,720 [both] W! 230 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,720 -Vault me again, vault me again. -Yeah! 231 00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:40,040 So, I guess, go for it. 232 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:43,760 -Could I just double-check the clue? -No. 233 00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:46,040 [distant laughter] 234 00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:51,080 She wouldn't have hidden anything in a toilet. 235 00:10:51,160 --> 00:10:54,160 She's not that kind of person. Trust me, I work for her. 236 00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:55,720 Let her surprise you. 237 00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:58,040 It's the most attractive thing a person can do. 238 00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:01,080 So rare to be surprised. 239 00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:07,840 -Oh, God. -Oh, putain! 240 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:09,440 I can't believe you just did that! 241 00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:10,680 Neither can I. 242 00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:13,840 I can't feel a clue. 243 00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:21,040 Found it. 244 00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:26,360 [music playing] 245 00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:31,840 The main rule about truth songs is just to sing with abandon. 246 00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:34,560 You just let go of whatever you're afraid of admitting to yourself. 247 00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:35,800 Yeah, I really get it. 248 00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:40,560 I really get how it's about being who you need to want to be, 249 00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:42,840 in a world where needing to be someone 250 00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:45,280 is more about being who you think you need to be, 251 00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:49,320 when really, what we all just need to do is sing... 252 00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:51,520 Man. 253 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:53,480 -You're taking the piss. -I'm taking the piss, yeah. 254 00:11:53,560 --> 00:11:56,160 [chuckling] Wow! You really can't drop it, can you? 255 00:11:56,240 --> 00:11:57,680 You really can't take a joke, can you? 256 00:11:57,760 --> 00:11:58,800 Look at you. 257 00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:00,960 -You get so edgy. -I get... 258 00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:02,040 Come on. Shouldn't you be rubbing up 259 00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:03,160 against someone downstairs by now? 260 00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:05,000 Say one thing sincerely, I dare you. 261 00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:06,440 You flirt with me too much. 262 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:12,440 I'm afraid you'd have to sing it, or it doesn't count. 263 00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:14,680 -I'll play. -No. 264 00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:17,240 You sing, I'll play. 265 00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:20,240 [strums ukulele] 266 00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:24,080 Do you really think I flirt with you too much? 267 00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:29,400 Do you wish I didn't? 268 00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:31,320 -[door opens] -[Kate] Hey! 269 00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:32,200 -[Anthony] Hi. -[Lulu] Hey. 270 00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:33,880 -What are you doing? -[Lulu] We're just having a sing-song. 271 00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:36,320 -Come join us. -Oh! No. 272 00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:38,760 Singing's not really my thing. 273 00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:41,000 Sorry, baby, we're just catching up. 274 00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:43,560 Yeah, no, you haven't seen each other for ages. 275 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:52,720 Hey, it's all getting a bit heated between Jess... 276 00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:54,880 And that unbelievably hot guy. 277 00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:57,400 -His name is... -Don't ruin it. 278 00:12:57,880 --> 00:12:58,960 [chuckles] 279 00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:03,640 Come on, we've missed enough of this brilliant treasure-hunt bonanza. 280 00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:05,440 -Who's my partner, baby? -No! 281 00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:07,360 Stay. Catch up. 282 00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:09,480 It's fine. Too many people anyway. 283 00:13:09,560 --> 00:13:10,480 Hmm. 284 00:13:19,420 --> 00:13:21,180 -Push harder! -[grunts] 285 00:13:21,260 --> 00:13:24,700 Mate, you smell like lychees. Do you eat a lot of lychees? 286 00:13:24,780 --> 00:13:26,380 Stop making me laugh! 287 00:13:26,460 --> 00:13:28,020 Oh, what the fuck? 288 00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:31,300 [chuckles] Hey! Wow, you two look cozy. 289 00:13:31,380 --> 00:13:32,660 I was going to fuck you. 290 00:13:33,140 --> 00:13:34,140 Excuse me? 291 00:13:34,460 --> 00:13:40,140 [enunciating] I was going to fuck you. 292 00:13:40,300 --> 00:13:45,660 [laughing] Oh, shit! Oh, my gosh, I'm sorry. 293 00:13:45,740 --> 00:13:48,900 I guess in that case I should... I should probably, um... 294 00:13:52,260 --> 00:13:53,300 [snaps fingers] 295 00:13:55,380 --> 00:13:56,460 You OK? 296 00:13:56,860 --> 00:13:58,420 Stop trying to bum me! 297 00:13:59,220 --> 00:14:00,940 -Excuse me? -Fucking bender! 298 00:14:03,100 --> 00:14:04,140 That is not nice. 299 00:14:04,220 --> 00:14:07,100 Yeah, well, neither is being sexually assaulted by a surprise flatmate. 300 00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:10,980 I don't think you're very happy, mate. 301 00:14:11,060 --> 00:14:12,820 -Don't say "mate". -You say "babe". 302 00:14:12,900 --> 00:14:13,940 Yeah, well, I'm an estate agent. 303 00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:15,060 I'm meant to sound like a twat. 304 00:14:15,140 --> 00:14:16,300 What's your excuse? 305 00:14:38,900 --> 00:14:40,020 [Lulu] Won't Kate be wondering what you're doing? 306 00:14:40,100 --> 00:14:41,940 She'll just assume I'm smoking. 307 00:14:42,020 --> 00:14:44,140 Fiver says she sniffs my breath when we go down. 308 00:14:44,220 --> 00:14:45,780 -Supportive. -It's OK. 309 00:14:46,140 --> 00:14:47,820 I'll say you were my witness. 310 00:14:47,900 --> 00:14:49,420 Fiver says she'll sniff your cock if you tell her that. 311 00:14:49,500 --> 00:14:52,020 -Oh, my God. -[laughs] Sorry. 312 00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:54,100 But she might as well have weed on you down there! 313 00:14:54,180 --> 00:14:55,300 Don't, OK? 314 00:14:57,180 --> 00:14:59,020 Sometimes you just take it too far, Lulu. 315 00:14:59,260 --> 00:15:00,660 She'd be well within her rights to be paranoid 316 00:15:00,740 --> 00:15:01,940 the way you behaved downstairs. 317 00:15:02,020 --> 00:15:03,540 We both know there's nothing between us, 318 00:15:03,620 --> 00:15:05,220 but I won't have you taking the piss out of her, all right? 319 00:15:05,300 --> 00:15:06,100 Fuck's sake! 320 00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:08,780 [sighs] 321 00:15:09,620 --> 00:15:12,380 I mean, you really, really 322 00:15:12,860 --> 00:15:14,420 fell for that hook, line and sinker. 323 00:15:14,500 --> 00:15:16,700 -Oh, my God! You dick! -I'm sorry! 324 00:15:16,780 --> 00:15:18,100 I can't believe you still get me! 325 00:15:18,180 --> 00:15:19,940 I'm sorry but your face was hilarious! 326 00:15:20,020 --> 00:15:21,260 [indistinct talking] 327 00:15:24,660 --> 00:15:26,740 -Diabetic? That's intense. -Hmm. 328 00:15:29,820 --> 00:15:32,340 -What made you think I was gay? -You are so gay. 329 00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:34,220 You don't know me at all. 330 00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:35,940 I know when one jumps on my back. 331 00:15:36,020 --> 00:15:39,140 [chuckling] You are so inappropriate! And you told me to do that. 332 00:15:40,780 --> 00:15:42,140 -Are you gay? -Are you? 333 00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:48,140 You're so gay. 334 00:15:57,660 --> 00:15:59,220 I heard about your dad. I'm sorry. 335 00:16:00,980 --> 00:16:01,820 Yeah. 336 00:16:02,140 --> 00:16:04,380 Mine died too. I was much younger, but... 337 00:16:04,460 --> 00:16:05,380 Hurts. 338 00:16:08,020 --> 00:16:08,820 Yeah. 339 00:16:09,820 --> 00:16:10,700 Yeah. 340 00:16:11,060 --> 00:16:11,860 Yeah. 341 00:16:15,340 --> 00:16:16,140 Yeah. [chuckles] 342 00:16:17,820 --> 00:16:18,820 [both laugh] 343 00:16:31,140 --> 00:16:33,060 Right, come on, treacle, let's go. 344 00:16:33,500 --> 00:16:34,900 Let's win this thing. 345 00:16:42,220 --> 00:16:43,220 Wanking room! 346 00:16:44,300 --> 00:16:45,740 How does she know about my wanking room? 347 00:16:46,300 --> 00:16:47,460 -Waiting room? -Waiting room! 348 00:16:48,620 --> 00:16:49,980 You are a genius. 349 00:16:54,500 --> 00:16:55,620 [cheering] 350 00:17:02,180 --> 00:17:03,340 Ugh. 351 00:17:03,420 --> 00:17:05,700 I'm sorry I flirt with you too much. 352 00:17:06,140 --> 00:17:08,420 I'm allowed to fancy you though, doesn't count. 353 00:17:08,500 --> 00:17:09,610 Do you though? 354 00:17:09,700 --> 00:17:13,140 Nah. Used to, though. You can cling to that. 355 00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:15,060 -What's going on here? -What do you mean? 356 00:17:16,180 --> 00:17:17,980 Now, come on. We've never been more sober in our lives. 357 00:17:18,180 --> 00:17:21,420 I'm trying to be an adult now, OK? 358 00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:23,140 I actually want to know how you feel about me. 359 00:17:23,220 --> 00:17:24,940 I don't care about the shit-storm it could cause. 360 00:17:25,020 --> 00:17:26,220 I don't care about Kate, 361 00:17:26,300 --> 00:17:27,810 I mean, I think she's probably a lesbian anyway. 362 00:17:27,900 --> 00:17:30,780 I just need you to admit that you don't just flirt with me for kicks. 363 00:17:31,180 --> 00:17:33,380 OK? Just so I know that I'm not crazy. 364 00:17:34,100 --> 00:17:34,980 [laughs] Fuck off! 365 00:17:35,060 --> 00:17:36,220 Can you drop it, please? Just for a second. 366 00:17:36,300 --> 00:17:38,100 -You're making me nervous. -Sit down. 367 00:17:46,100 --> 00:17:46,900 Why do you do it? 368 00:17:48,020 --> 00:17:49,740 -Is it power? -Yeah. 369 00:17:50,540 --> 00:17:51,660 But you'd never actually kiss me? 370 00:17:51,820 --> 00:17:54,180 I've been trying since we were 14, baby. 371 00:17:54,260 --> 00:17:55,460 Bullshit. Kiss me, then. 372 00:17:56,580 --> 00:17:57,420 Tease! 373 00:17:57,700 --> 00:17:58,820 Coming from you. 374 00:18:00,420 --> 00:18:01,620 -You kiss me. -You kiss me. 375 00:18:01,700 --> 00:18:03,140 -You kiss me. -You kiss me. 376 00:18:06,860 --> 00:18:09,380 -Lu, you're kissing me. -I know. 377 00:18:09,540 --> 00:18:11,700 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 378 00:18:13,100 --> 00:18:14,460 You just won't lose, will you? 379 00:18:14,540 --> 00:18:15,500 You actually kissed me. 380 00:18:15,900 --> 00:18:16,940 Yeah, that was... 381 00:18:22,180 --> 00:18:23,980 You don't actually think Kate is a lesbian, do you? 382 00:18:24,060 --> 00:18:25,020 -No! -OK. 383 00:18:26,500 --> 00:18:27,940 Oh, my God. Lu? 384 00:18:28,740 --> 00:18:29,580 I'm such a dick. 385 00:18:29,660 --> 00:18:31,660 I didn't think in a million years you would... Lu, do you? 386 00:18:31,740 --> 00:18:33,700 It's OK, it's OK, it's OK. It's fine, I know you can't... 387 00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:35,500 You're serious? Lu, I have been in love with you... 388 00:18:35,580 --> 00:18:36,820 I'm joking, you dick! 389 00:18:40,460 --> 00:18:43,900 Oh, right. 'Course. Touche. Me too. 390 00:18:44,980 --> 00:18:46,260 -Me too. -Me too. 391 00:18:46,620 --> 00:18:47,420 Good. 392 00:18:50,340 --> 00:18:52,820 I should probably go and sort this tampon out now. 393 00:18:52,900 --> 00:18:53,820 Yeah. Good. 394 00:19:05,220 --> 00:19:07,500 [Colin] I am not going on a date with you. 395 00:19:07,780 --> 00:19:10,140 -Why not? -You'll eat me alive. 396 00:19:10,340 --> 00:19:11,780 Maybe. You might like it. 397 00:19:11,860 --> 00:19:14,140 If we don't try, we'll never know. 398 00:19:15,780 --> 00:19:17,100 Don't be a scaredy-cunt. 399 00:19:17,180 --> 00:19:19,260 Oh, that is a horrible word. 400 00:19:19,340 --> 00:19:20,500 That is my favorite word. 401 00:19:22,060 --> 00:19:24,100 Say it, cunt, and let's get dinner. 402 00:19:27,420 --> 00:19:29,860 -Cunt! God protect me. -Yes. 403 00:19:32,660 --> 00:19:34,380 Ah! Magnifique. 404 00:19:34,580 --> 00:19:36,020 The prize is in the waiting room! 405 00:19:36,140 --> 00:19:38,020 Shut that pretty mouth, baby. 406 00:19:38,100 --> 00:19:39,540 -[Fred mumbling] -Let's go. 407 00:19:44,220 --> 00:19:45,740 [indistinct shouting] 408 00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:49,780 Hey, guys! Tequila! 409 00:19:54,780 --> 00:19:55,820 [music playing] 410 00:20:29,220 --> 00:20:30,660 I am fun! 411 00:20:35,220 --> 00:20:36,620 Don't be a scaredy-cunt. 412 00:20:43,580 --> 00:20:45,340 I am not anal! 413 00:20:45,460 --> 00:20:48,060 -Baby... -You say I am not anal! 414 00:20:48,140 --> 00:20:49,220 You are not anal. 415 00:20:49,300 --> 00:20:52,140 And don't think that I don't know that because I make all the fun, 416 00:20:52,220 --> 00:20:56,260 I can't have any of the fun because I always know where the prize is! 417 00:20:56,340 --> 00:20:58,140 I'm the fun one, OK? 418 00:20:58,380 --> 00:21:01,580 In here, it's all crazy-crazy in here! 419 00:21:02,300 --> 00:21:07,540 Whoo! Look at me! I am out of control! 420 00:21:07,980 --> 00:21:09,420 -Whoa! -Oh! 421 00:21:10,180 --> 00:21:12,300 Sorry. I'm a dick. 422 00:21:12,380 --> 00:21:16,500 It's OK. I know it's because you're sad, but we are here. 423 00:21:16,940 --> 00:21:20,580 Thank you for my party. Where's the prize? 424 00:21:21,780 --> 00:21:23,260 [whispers] It's in the incubator. 425 00:21:24,300 --> 00:21:25,380 [Kate] Whoo! 426 00:21:26,540 --> 00:21:27,820 Come here, pumpkin. 427 00:21:34,020 --> 00:21:36,300 Yeah! Winner, winner! 428 00:21:36,380 --> 00:21:37,700 [ALL CHEERING] 429 00:21:39,180 --> 00:21:40,340 Where's my baby girl? 430 00:21:41,420 --> 00:21:42,700 This is for you! 431 00:21:42,780 --> 00:21:43,860 [floor squeaks] 432 00:21:43,940 --> 00:21:46,100 -[groans] -[all gasp] 433 00:21:46,180 --> 00:21:48,780 [yells] That was horrible! 434 00:21:48,860 --> 00:21:50,740 Head forward, pinch the top. 435 00:21:50,820 --> 00:21:51,940 And who's this guy? 436 00:21:53,060 --> 00:21:55,100 -He's mine. -[Sam] Really? 437 00:21:55,860 --> 00:21:57,820 [groaning] 438 00:22:02,140 --> 00:22:05,300 [giggling] Thank you. He's unbelievably hot. 439 00:22:05,380 --> 00:22:07,180 -See you on Monday. -[Sam] Slut! 440 00:22:12,460 --> 00:22:15,540 D'accord. Bonsoir. Happy birthday. 441 00:22:17,260 --> 00:22:20,020 Happy birthday. I've had such a lovely night. 442 00:22:20,100 --> 00:22:21,260 So nice to hang out with... 443 00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:23,380 If I throw up in my bed, I'm gonna sleep in yours, OK? 444 00:22:24,820 --> 00:22:25,900 OK. 445 00:22:25,980 --> 00:22:27,900 -I'm going to be sick. -Yeah? 446 00:22:27,980 --> 00:22:32,020 And then I am going to be so anal with you. 447 00:22:32,100 --> 00:22:33,500 Whoo! 448 00:22:34,980 --> 00:22:36,740 Welcome to the family, Lu. 449 00:22:36,820 --> 00:22:38,180 Oh, yeah, I think I'm just gonna find somewhere else to... 450 00:22:38,260 --> 00:22:42,220 No. No! You are staying here. 451 00:22:42,740 --> 00:22:45,060 Because you are special to him, 452 00:22:45,140 --> 00:22:48,340 so you are special on me. 453 00:22:49,140 --> 00:22:50,740 Yeah, I think it might be weird. 454 00:22:50,820 --> 00:22:51,980 Why would it be weird? 455 00:22:53,260 --> 00:22:54,380 -It wouldn't be weird. -It wouldn't be. 456 00:22:54,460 --> 00:22:57,420 Good! Good. 457 00:22:57,820 --> 00:23:01,140 -Thanks, Kate. -Pfft! I'm chill. 458 00:23:05,420 --> 00:23:07,620 -So that's cool that... -Yeah, it's gonna be. 459 00:23:07,700 --> 00:23:09,060 -Yeah. -Yeah. 460 00:23:09,140 --> 00:23:10,340 -Yeah, cool. -Cool. 30276

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