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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:15,036 --> 00:00:17,960 [Keyboard typing] 2 00:00:20,474 --> 00:00:21,554 [metallic click] 3 00:00:21,569 --> 00:00:24,299 [fluorescent lights buzzing] 4 00:00:24,346 --> 00:00:26,302 [keyboard typing] 5 00:00:26,307 --> 00:00:31,370 [♪ Reto: "All Day and Through the Night"♪] 6 00:00:31,379 --> 00:00:33,609 ♪ Uh huh ♪ 7 00:00:33,655 --> 00:00:36,544 ♪ Hey ♪ 8 00:00:36,550 --> 00:00:39,610 ♪ We got to get started ♪ 9 00:00:39,620 --> 00:00:42,509 ♪ We got to make it right ♪ 10 00:00:42,564 --> 00:00:45,852 ♪ We're gonna keep on going ♪ 11 00:00:45,860 --> 00:00:48,920 ♪ All day and to the night ♪ 12 00:00:55,377 --> 00:00:58,494 ♪ We had a will to do it ♪ 13 00:00:58,547 --> 00:01:01,766 ♪ We got the attitude ♪ 14 00:01:01,817 --> 00:01:03,705 ♪ All right ♪ 15 00:01:03,711 --> 00:01:06,509 ♪ We got to, We got to get it started ♪ 16 00:01:06,555 --> 00:01:09,740 ♪ We got to make it work, work, gonna keep it going ♪ 17 00:01:09,750 --> 00:01:11,638 ♪ We got to get started ♪ 18 00:01:11,693 --> 00:01:13,445 ♪ We got to get started ♪ 19 00:01:13,495 --> 00:01:15,918 ♪ We're going all day and to the night ♪ 20 00:01:15,964 --> 00:01:18,387 ♪♪ 21 00:01:29,745 --> 00:01:32,703 ♪ I said come on ♪ 22 00:01:32,707 --> 00:01:35,471 ♪ All right ♪ 23 00:01:35,517 --> 00:01:37,405 ♪ I said, I said, I said, come on ♪ 24 00:01:37,411 --> 00:01:38,935 ♪♪ 25 00:01:38,987 --> 00:01:42,343 ♪ Hey ♪ 26 00:01:42,350 --> 00:01:44,910 ♪ We got to get it started ♪ 27 00:01:44,919 --> 00:01:49,549 ♪ We're gonna keep it going all day and to the night ♪ 28 00:02:00,568 --> 00:02:04,766 We just came from, uh, 80s night at 107. 29 00:02:04,813 --> 00:02:07,099 We were in a... 30 00:02:07,108 --> 00:02:09,633 Echo and the Bunnymen, do you know that band? 31 00:02:09,684 --> 00:02:11,606 No, what do they sing? 32 00:02:11,653 --> 00:02:13,769 Uh... oh! 33 00:02:13,781 --> 00:02:15,601 [Sings tune of song unrecognizably] 34 00:02:15,657 --> 00:02:18,740 How the fuck am I supposed to tell what song that is? 35 00:02:30,605 --> 00:02:31,424 You do? 36 00:02:31,473 --> 00:02:34,590 Of course. I love you. 37 00:02:34,602 --> 00:02:37,491 - And I love you. - Hmm. 38 00:02:37,546 --> 00:02:39,525 [Loud kissing] 39 00:02:39,540 --> 00:02:40,666 Anyway. 40 00:02:40,715 --> 00:02:42,501 So we're doing our thing. 41 00:02:42,510 --> 00:02:44,933 Suddenly, I spot these two Indian babes. 42 00:02:44,986 --> 00:02:48,444 Pete later on discovers that the two Indian babes 43 00:02:48,449 --> 00:02:49,609 are actually Indian dudes. 44 00:02:49,617 --> 00:02:51,073 Oh no no, that's a different story. 45 00:02:51,126 --> 00:02:52,741 Andre used to date an Indian babe. 46 00:02:52,794 --> 00:02:53,818 That's right. 47 00:02:53,821 --> 00:02:55,140 Lovely ladies. 48 00:02:55,197 --> 00:02:56,641 Anyway, I'm telling you. 49 00:02:56,698 --> 00:02:58,086 These fucking chicks were hot. 50 00:02:58,092 --> 00:02:59,889 One was hot, one was not. 51 00:02:59,935 --> 00:03:00,788 She was cute. 52 00:03:00,836 --> 00:03:02,952 You are so fucking insensitive. 53 00:03:03,004 --> 00:03:04,426 Would you let him tell the story? 54 00:03:04,473 --> 00:03:09,627 So the one sexy Indian chick and her hairy friend 55 00:03:09,637 --> 00:03:12,526 happen to make eye contact with us from across the bar. 56 00:03:12,540 --> 00:03:14,895 So I look over and I, uh, signal them 57 00:03:14,909 --> 00:03:16,729 to come on over. 58 00:03:16,785 --> 00:03:19,674 And they dance on over you know Kama Sutra, some shit 59 00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:22,444 and the hot one, she's ready to go. 60 00:03:22,450 --> 00:03:25,112 And Pete here--he thinks she's coming over to him. 61 00:03:25,119 --> 00:03:27,679 She sits down next to me. 62 00:03:27,688 --> 00:03:31,180 I'm telling you guys, he's fucking smoking. 63 00:03:31,192 --> 00:03:33,854 You know, starts coming on to me and shit. 64 00:03:33,861 --> 00:03:35,158 Like in what way? 65 00:03:35,162 --> 00:03:36,652 Well she starts saying things like... 66 00:03:36,705 --> 00:03:38,218 You have nice lips. 67 00:03:38,273 --> 00:03:40,696 Is it bad if I want to kiss you in public? 68 00:03:40,701 --> 00:03:43,659 Bad for who? Not for me. 69 00:03:43,671 --> 00:03:45,901 And being the gentleman that I am. 70 00:03:45,947 --> 00:03:50,031 I lean over and I give her these luscious lips. 71 00:03:50,085 --> 00:03:51,803 Pete and the hairy chick, they're just watching us. 72 00:03:51,812 --> 00:03:53,575 Finally, Pete says... 73 00:03:53,581 --> 00:03:55,503 Okay. I gotta get up early for work. 74 00:03:55,557 --> 00:03:57,138 Wha-what do you do? 75 00:03:57,151 --> 00:03:58,880 Uh, I'm a trader. 76 00:03:58,927 --> 00:04:03,079 Ohh, mind if I join you? 77 00:04:04,858 --> 00:04:06,883 Lucky for me, 78 00:04:06,935 --> 00:04:09,085 Pete took one for the team. 79 00:04:09,137 --> 00:04:10,718 You had sex with her? 80 00:04:10,731 --> 00:04:11,993 - Oh yeah. - No. I didn't. 81 00:04:11,999 --> 00:04:13,193 - [Scoffs] - I didn't have se-- 82 00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:14,155 Remember the brush burn? 83 00:04:14,168 --> 00:04:15,157 Beth! Babe! Wait! 84 00:04:15,169 --> 00:04:17,228 Dude, you're such a douche. 85 00:04:17,238 --> 00:04:19,229 Whoops. Anyway. 86 00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:21,071 So, I lean into the Indian chick. 87 00:04:21,116 --> 00:04:23,232 I'm like, wanna go? 88 00:04:23,285 --> 00:04:24,798 Why not? 89 00:04:24,812 --> 00:04:27,508 So she grabs me, pulls me into the alley. 90 00:04:27,556 --> 00:04:30,605 She says, I want to taste your hard candy. 91 00:04:30,618 --> 00:04:32,950 And I'm like, my what? 92 00:04:32,994 --> 00:04:35,781 Your hard candy. 93 00:04:35,789 --> 00:04:39,657 So I'm like, fuck. Savor the flavor. Taste the rainbow. 94 00:04:39,660 --> 00:04:42,823 She gives me the fucking knob slob right there 95 00:04:42,830 --> 00:04:43,728 in the alley. 96 00:04:43,731 --> 00:04:46,894 After that, we go back to her place, 97 00:04:46,901 --> 00:04:49,665 drag her comforter out, take it up to the roof, 98 00:04:49,670 --> 00:04:50,932 seal the deal right there. 99 00:04:50,938 --> 00:04:54,601 My bare ass exposed to all of downtown. 100 00:04:54,608 --> 00:04:55,836 Quite pretty. I got a nice ass. 101 00:04:55,884 --> 00:04:58,000 Can you use it in your script? 102 00:04:59,812 --> 00:05:00,301 [Snaps fingers] Dean! 103 00:05:00,355 --> 00:05:01,845 Hmm? 104 00:05:01,849 --> 00:05:03,544 I'm giving you fucking gold here. 105 00:05:03,551 --> 00:05:04,870 I'm sorry, man. 106 00:05:04,926 --> 00:05:09,750 Ohh, she's giving you E. 107 00:05:09,798 --> 00:05:11,777 E? 108 00:05:11,833 --> 00:05:13,949 Energy. 109 00:05:13,961 --> 00:05:15,223 It's my new word. 110 00:05:15,229 --> 00:05:17,595 Whatever. She's giving it to you. 111 00:05:17,598 --> 00:05:18,326 No, she's not. 112 00:05:18,332 --> 00:05:20,186 - Andre? - Serious E, kid. 113 00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:21,758 Capital E, kid. 114 00:05:21,769 --> 00:05:23,600 - Hello. - [All] Tess! 115 00:05:23,645 --> 00:05:24,327 - Hey. - Hi, love. 116 00:05:24,338 --> 00:05:26,898 You are looking quite lovely tonight, Tess. 117 00:05:26,907 --> 00:05:27,965 Yeah, okay. Thanks. 118 00:05:28,016 --> 00:05:30,667 Um, what's the situation? Hm? 119 00:05:30,678 --> 00:05:32,305 Well, Dean here was about to go to work. 120 00:05:32,354 --> 00:05:33,742 Would you stop? 121 00:05:33,747 --> 00:05:34,771 Really? Who? 122 00:05:34,823 --> 00:05:36,211 Nothing. 123 00:05:36,957 --> 00:05:38,640 Back? 124 00:05:38,652 --> 00:05:39,676 Oh, blondie? 125 00:05:39,728 --> 00:05:43,687 You know what? The dress is a little slutty, Dean. But... 126 00:05:43,691 --> 00:05:45,283 Dean, she's got talent. 127 00:05:45,333 --> 00:05:48,689 I would, but I already have my lady for the night. 128 00:05:48,737 --> 00:05:50,693 Oh yeah? Who's the lucky girl? 129 00:05:53,007 --> 00:05:55,055 What are you doing? 130 00:05:55,069 --> 00:05:56,593 What's he doing? 131 00:05:56,645 --> 00:05:57,862 He's giving you E. 132 00:05:57,871 --> 00:05:58,826 E? 133 00:05:58,839 --> 00:05:59,362 E. 134 00:05:59,414 --> 00:06:02,770 Oh. Right. 135 00:06:04,711 --> 00:06:06,941 Uh huh. 136 00:06:09,382 --> 00:06:10,974 I don't think so, buddy. 137 00:06:11,026 --> 00:06:12,175 - All right. - Oh. 138 00:06:12,227 --> 00:06:13,273 You save me a dance 139 00:06:13,287 --> 00:06:14,845 and I'm gonna go change this music. 140 00:06:14,896 --> 00:06:15,851 Of course. 141 00:06:15,897 --> 00:06:16,943 [Jay laughs] 142 00:06:16,998 --> 00:06:18,113 Damn, kid. 143 00:06:18,166 --> 00:06:19,849 That was, that was subtle, man. 144 00:06:19,860 --> 00:06:21,885 Hey, I'm in it to win it. Okay? 145 00:06:21,936 --> 00:06:24,757 These people aren't here to play fuckin' Yahtzee. 146 00:06:24,806 --> 00:06:25,818 They're here to get laid. 147 00:06:25,874 --> 00:06:30,732 Look, all this talking is just foreplay. It's bullshit. 148 00:06:30,738 --> 00:06:31,397 Back me up, Andre. 149 00:06:31,446 --> 00:06:37,305 We were just fulfilling our primal needs, like cavemen. 150 00:06:37,311 --> 00:06:38,801 Except for in prehistoric days, 151 00:06:38,812 --> 00:06:43,943 They just exchanged a few grunts and fucked. 152 00:06:43,951 --> 00:06:46,044 So basically, you're saying that the only difference 153 00:06:46,094 --> 00:06:48,881 between us and cavemen is the evolution of language? 154 00:06:48,889 --> 00:06:52,711 Which is ironic because language is that very thing 155 00:06:52,767 --> 00:06:54,849 that usually gets in the way of us getting laid. 156 00:06:54,903 --> 00:06:56,222 Pssh. Where do you come up with this shit? 157 00:06:56,230 --> 00:06:58,323 Little place called the world wide web, my friend. 158 00:06:58,332 --> 00:07:00,027 - Gay porn. - Yeah. 159 00:07:00,075 --> 00:07:03,021 Now. Get out there and take what's yours. 160 00:07:03,037 --> 00:07:04,891 Such an asshole. 161 00:07:04,946 --> 00:07:06,402 And see if she's got a friend. 162 00:07:06,407 --> 00:07:08,261 Two friends. 163 00:07:08,316 --> 00:07:11,706 Here we go. Ah! Ah! Ohh. 164 00:07:11,712 --> 00:07:12,940 [Laughs] 165 00:07:12,987 --> 00:07:14,705 Hey! Good job! 166 00:07:14,756 --> 00:07:15,939 [Laughs] 167 00:07:17,024 --> 00:07:19,743 We have an announcement. 168 00:07:19,794 --> 00:07:20,874 Oh yeah? What's that? 169 00:07:20,888 --> 00:07:23,015 We are no longer quarreling. 170 00:07:23,064 --> 00:07:26,386 That's a fucking relief. 171 00:07:26,434 --> 00:07:28,914 [Speaking Spanish] 172 00:07:28,929 --> 00:07:33,059 Why haven't you not called me? It's been two days! 173 00:07:33,108 --> 00:07:33,927 [Laughs] 174 00:07:33,975 --> 00:07:35,090 The kid's been busy. 175 00:07:35,143 --> 00:07:36,462 Well, I can find me another man. 176 00:07:36,470 --> 00:07:38,995 Oh, I know you can, baby. 177 00:07:39,047 --> 00:07:40,799 Baby? 178 00:07:40,808 --> 00:07:41,900 Baby. 179 00:07:41,909 --> 00:07:43,035 Oh, baby. 180 00:07:43,084 --> 00:07:46,474 - Aww. Baby. - Baby. 181 00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:50,974 [Loud kissing] 182 00:07:51,025 --> 00:07:52,174 I missed you. 183 00:07:52,227 --> 00:07:53,945 So much. 184 00:07:53,995 --> 00:07:56,111 [Clears throat] 185 00:07:56,164 --> 00:07:58,951 Okay. Excuse me. 186 00:07:58,959 --> 00:08:00,221 Taxi! 187 00:08:01,962 --> 00:08:03,827 Jesus. 188 00:08:03,831 --> 00:08:06,095 What happened to my dance? 189 00:08:06,100 --> 00:08:08,022 I had to get out of there. 190 00:08:08,076 --> 00:08:09,828 You never dance with me. 191 00:08:09,837 --> 00:08:11,964 I think you'll get over it. 192 00:08:12,013 --> 00:08:13,059 [Clears throat] 193 00:08:14,407 --> 00:08:16,272 Sara's a crutch, Dean. 194 00:08:17,110 --> 00:08:19,066 Who said I was going to Sara's? 195 00:08:19,079 --> 00:08:21,309 Uh huh. Where are you going then? 196 00:08:23,357 --> 00:08:25,405 Uh huh. Okay, you know what? Whatever. 197 00:08:25,419 --> 00:08:27,011 You've been warned. 198 00:08:27,020 --> 00:08:28,783 And you know that I love you for it. 199 00:08:28,789 --> 00:08:29,915 Mhmm. 200 00:08:30,564 --> 00:08:32,953 Contact. 201 00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:35,053 - Bye, babe. - Bye. 202 00:08:40,474 --> 00:08:43,864 [Intercom] Next stop, Union Station. 203 00:08:47,014 --> 00:08:49,403 Are you really going to Sara's, Dean? 204 00:08:51,585 --> 00:08:54,099 Seriously, dude? She's kind of a ho. 205 00:08:57,817 --> 00:08:59,910 Look to your right, Dean. 206 00:08:59,920 --> 00:09:01,512 Excuse me? 207 00:09:01,522 --> 00:09:03,046 Look to your right. 208 00:09:05,291 --> 00:09:07,919 That is love. 209 00:09:09,061 --> 00:09:11,017 Are you lonely? 210 00:09:17,377 --> 00:09:19,231 That's because you're alone. 211 00:09:19,239 --> 00:09:20,968 Oh, yes. Yes, yes. 212 00:09:21,015 --> 00:09:22,937 [Moaning] Yes, oh yeah! 213 00:09:22,984 --> 00:09:24,030 [Groans with pleasure] 214 00:09:25,211 --> 00:09:29,204 [breathing heavily] 215 00:09:29,257 --> 00:09:30,576 [blows raspberry] 216 00:09:36,489 --> 00:09:38,821 - Hey, Sara? - Yeah? 217 00:09:38,867 --> 00:09:39,947 Have you ever been in love? 218 00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:42,087 You ever think about it at all? 219 00:09:42,136 --> 00:09:45,822 Just about love. You know, about being in love. 220 00:09:45,874 --> 00:09:47,227 With you? 221 00:09:47,275 --> 00:09:50,460 Oh, not necessarily with me. Just in general. 222 00:09:50,470 --> 00:09:51,960 Not really. 223 00:09:54,214 --> 00:09:55,533 What if I said it? 224 00:09:55,542 --> 00:09:56,861 Say what? 225 00:09:56,918 --> 00:09:58,408 What, what if I said I loved you? 226 00:09:58,412 --> 00:09:59,401 Do you? 227 00:09:59,454 --> 00:10:00,239 What if I said it? 228 00:10:00,247 --> 00:10:01,168 Why say it? 229 00:10:01,181 --> 00:10:04,070 Cause you wouldn't mean it. 230 00:10:04,125 --> 00:10:07,071 Okay, so what if I meant it, what would you say? 231 00:10:07,087 --> 00:10:08,008 I don't know. 232 00:10:08,021 --> 00:10:09,113 Think about it. 233 00:10:09,163 --> 00:10:14,089 I think we've got a pretty good thing going on here. 234 00:10:14,135 --> 00:10:15,523 You do? 235 00:10:15,529 --> 00:10:16,848 Of course I do. 236 00:10:20,099 --> 00:10:23,159 [♪ Soft music ♪] 237 00:10:27,447 --> 00:10:29,460 ♪♪ 238 00:10:43,397 --> 00:10:45,410 ♪♪ 239 00:10:50,504 --> 00:10:52,517 ♪♪ 240 00:10:58,238 --> 00:11:00,934 Huh? Oh, no no. No thanks, man. 241 00:11:00,941 --> 00:11:01,930 You buy for girl? 242 00:11:01,983 --> 00:11:03,132 Uh, no thanks. No girl. 243 00:11:03,184 --> 00:11:05,266 Ah. You buy for boy? 244 00:11:06,153 --> 00:11:08,269 No, I buy for a girl. 245 00:11:08,282 --> 00:11:10,136 Ah. You buy for a girl. 246 00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:17,180 All right. Here. Let's see what I got here. 247 00:11:17,190 --> 00:11:20,114 K. All right. There you go. 248 00:11:20,168 --> 00:11:21,351 Ah. Arigato. 249 00:11:21,361 --> 00:11:22,316 Sure. 250 00:11:26,032 --> 00:11:29,092 [♪ Soft music ♪] 251 00:11:32,471 --> 00:11:34,530 ♪♪ 252 00:12:19,393 --> 00:12:21,406 ♪♪ 253 00:12:26,533 --> 00:12:30,185 [Dean voice-over] Interior. The Cave. Night. 254 00:12:30,197 --> 00:12:34,361 Pick up with Jake wearing all black, 255 00:12:34,368 --> 00:12:41,331 weaving his way through the uber-hip crowd. 256 00:12:41,341 --> 00:12:45,675 Another hopeless night in La La Land. 257 00:12:45,679 --> 00:12:48,534 That is until he sees her: 258 00:12:48,548 --> 00:12:50,379 A Siren. 259 00:12:50,425 --> 00:12:52,108 Goddess. 260 00:12:52,119 --> 00:12:54,178 A Muse. 261 00:12:54,187 --> 00:12:58,385 Call her Kat. 262 00:12:58,392 --> 00:13:00,451 ♪♪ 263 00:13:06,106 --> 00:13:07,687 I love you. 264 00:13:07,701 --> 00:13:09,259 Are you fucking kidding me? 265 00:13:09,269 --> 00:13:11,624 This dude's gonna tell her that he loves her 266 00:13:11,638 --> 00:13:13,128 even though they've never met? 267 00:13:13,140 --> 00:13:15,131 No. It's actually meant to be symbolic 268 00:13:15,142 --> 00:13:16,734 of Jake's need to find love. 269 00:13:16,784 --> 00:13:17,808 Let me rephrase the question. 270 00:13:17,811 --> 00:13:20,234 Does Jake have a vagina? 271 00:13:20,247 --> 00:13:21,475 Oh, you mean is he a transexual? 272 00:13:21,481 --> 00:13:23,278 Or maybe he's thinking 273 00:13:23,324 --> 00:13:25,246 about becoming a transexual. 274 00:13:25,252 --> 00:13:27,243 Or maybe he got his deal lobbed off 275 00:13:27,295 --> 00:13:30,275 before they could dig out a vag or something. 276 00:13:30,290 --> 00:13:32,053 Yeah, yeah. But they left him with a sack. 277 00:13:32,059 --> 00:13:33,412 But with only one ball. 278 00:13:33,427 --> 00:13:35,816 What the fuck are you guys talking about? 279 00:13:35,829 --> 00:13:37,558 Jake is a dude. 280 00:13:37,605 --> 00:13:40,119 Fully equipped. The most manly of men. 281 00:13:40,174 --> 00:13:41,163 Right. 282 00:13:41,168 --> 00:13:42,465 Who wants to fall in love? 283 00:13:42,469 --> 00:13:43,766 So what? There are plenty of guys are age 284 00:13:43,770 --> 00:13:44,828 who are looking for love. 285 00:13:44,838 --> 00:13:46,157 Sure there are. 286 00:13:46,214 --> 00:13:47,363 Name one. 287 00:13:52,578 --> 00:13:54,273 Fuck you guys. 288 00:13:54,281 --> 00:13:55,373 Were you just-- 289 00:13:55,382 --> 00:13:59,375 - It was a self-point. - It was a self-point? 290 00:13:59,427 --> 00:14:02,749 Hello. And welcome back to Here Comes the Bride. 291 00:14:05,633 --> 00:14:07,555 One last question 292 00:14:07,561 --> 00:14:10,860 before asking the lucky man to marry her! 293 00:14:10,905 --> 00:14:12,418 Groom number one: 294 00:14:12,432 --> 00:14:16,129 What will you do to make me fall in love with you? 295 00:14:16,177 --> 00:14:18,463 Well, I'm a live life on the edge kinda guy, 296 00:14:18,513 --> 00:14:20,834 so I think we'd probably do a lot of skydiving 297 00:14:20,841 --> 00:14:23,435 or bungee jumping or off roaring in my new 298 00:14:23,484 --> 00:14:24,803 4-wheel drive. 299 00:14:24,811 --> 00:14:27,371 Oh. Ha! I like that. 300 00:14:27,380 --> 00:14:28,677 Groom number two? 301 00:14:28,682 --> 00:14:30,445 Well, since I'm a personal trainer, my plan is 302 00:14:30,450 --> 00:14:34,477 Oh, personal trainer? That's really original. 303 00:14:34,488 --> 00:14:36,342 Sounds sweaty. 304 00:14:36,397 --> 00:14:40,481 What will you do to make me fall in love with you? 305 00:14:40,535 --> 00:14:43,515 To make somebody fall in love with you. 306 00:14:43,530 --> 00:14:46,351 For the simple reason that love is predestined. 307 00:14:46,407 --> 00:14:48,420 It's about fate. It's about magic. 308 00:14:48,476 --> 00:14:50,364 It's about are we meant to be together? 309 00:14:50,370 --> 00:14:53,362 And while I don't know the future, I can offer you this: 310 00:14:53,414 --> 00:14:55,427 If you're my destiny, 311 00:14:55,483 --> 00:14:57,633 I will love you with everything that I've got. 312 00:14:57,685 --> 00:15:01,200 [Phone rings] 313 00:15:01,255 --> 00:15:03,371 Love that answer. 314 00:15:03,424 --> 00:15:04,846 Yeah, but he won't get picked. 315 00:15:04,851 --> 00:15:05,749 Do you wanna know why? 316 00:15:05,752 --> 00:15:07,640 Hmm. Cause he's a geek? 317 00:15:07,695 --> 00:15:09,674 Well, yeah that, and the fact that he's losing his hair. 318 00:15:09,689 --> 00:15:11,543 See, the chicks on this show know exactly 319 00:15:11,558 --> 00:15:13,219 who they're gonna marry the second the guys 320 00:15:13,267 --> 00:15:15,519 Wait? Are you saying that people that 321 00:15:15,529 --> 00:15:18,418 go on dating shows are shallow? Shocking. 322 00:15:18,431 --> 00:15:21,298 To men who have healthy heads of hair. 323 00:15:21,301 --> 00:15:24,361 It's a sign that their offspring will survive 324 00:15:24,371 --> 00:15:25,565 in the next generation. 325 00:15:25,613 --> 00:15:27,160 Genetically speaking. 326 00:15:27,215 --> 00:15:29,433 Are we really qualified to be speaking genetically? 327 00:15:29,483 --> 00:15:31,940 I wouldn't do so well on this show. 328 00:15:31,986 --> 00:15:34,534 What are you talking about? You have a head full of hair. 329 00:15:34,548 --> 00:15:35,867 Yeah, but my grandfather was bald, 330 00:15:35,882 --> 00:15:37,372 so I know it's coming. 331 00:15:37,425 --> 00:15:39,473 Only a finite amount of time left for me to mate. 332 00:15:39,527 --> 00:15:41,449 What are you, a chimp? 333 00:15:41,495 --> 00:15:43,577 I'm telling you -- it's all over for me. 334 00:15:43,590 --> 00:15:46,445 Bald at 25. So tragic. 335 00:15:46,459 --> 00:15:47,881 What? Really? Wha? I'm bald? 336 00:15:47,935 --> 00:15:49,425 I'm kidding, you punk. 337 00:15:49,429 --> 00:15:50,555 - Thinning? - I'm hanging up. 338 00:15:50,605 --> 00:15:51,560 Slightly receding? 339 00:15:51,606 --> 00:15:53,392 All right, neurotic. Goodbye. 340 00:15:56,302 --> 00:15:58,293 I think I'll marry... 341 00:15:58,346 --> 00:15:59,631 groom number one! 342 00:15:59,639 --> 00:16:01,436 [Laughs] 343 00:16:01,441 --> 00:16:06,902 [gameshow audience cheers, applauds] 344 00:16:06,954 --> 00:16:07,272 Douchebag. 345 00:16:11,817 --> 00:16:13,739 So, I'm at the post office, right? 346 00:16:13,794 --> 00:16:15,546 I find that I'm two stamps short. 347 00:16:15,596 --> 00:16:17,609 Check my wallet. Bone dry. 348 00:16:17,665 --> 00:16:19,314 So I turn to this girl behind me 349 00:16:19,367 --> 00:16:21,722 and beautiful brown eyes, 350 00:16:21,728 --> 00:16:24,288 giving me a little E. So I say, hey, 351 00:16:24,297 --> 00:16:26,219 can I borrow two stamps? 352 00:16:26,274 --> 00:16:29,528 But we gotta go back to my place to get them. 353 00:16:29,577 --> 00:16:32,330 So we go back to her place. She's mad cash. 354 00:16:32,339 --> 00:16:34,728 I'm talking persian cat. Full cloth... 355 00:16:34,741 --> 00:16:36,538 I'm allergic to cats. 356 00:16:37,910 --> 00:16:40,538 So I start petting the cat. 357 00:16:40,547 --> 00:16:42,606 Before you know it, she joins in, right? 358 00:16:42,657 --> 00:16:45,842 We're both like, vigorously just petting this cat. 359 00:16:45,893 --> 00:16:47,747 And she says to me, do you like my cat? 360 00:16:47,795 --> 00:16:50,775 And I'm like, well, this is perhaps 361 00:16:50,790 --> 00:16:53,281 the finest cat I have ever petted. 362 00:16:53,334 --> 00:16:55,450 She's working the high hard fastball. 363 00:16:55,503 --> 00:16:56,856 The high hard fastball? 364 00:16:56,904 --> 00:16:57,950 His dick. 365 00:16:58,005 --> 00:16:59,290 My dick. 366 00:16:59,299 --> 00:17:00,425 What are you guys talking about? 367 00:17:00,474 --> 00:17:02,931 Oh, must be a short conversation. 368 00:17:02,977 --> 00:17:06,458 Uh, two whiskey sours, okay? 369 00:17:06,514 --> 00:17:10,598 Hm. Why don't you ever get on that? 370 00:17:10,610 --> 00:17:12,566 Cause you don't sleep with your friends, Jay. 371 00:17:12,579 --> 00:17:13,967 Who says? 372 00:17:13,980 --> 00:17:16,505 It's a well documented rule. 373 00:17:16,557 --> 00:17:17,672 That's your rule, not mine. 374 00:17:17,725 --> 00:17:19,613 Can you just finish the story, please? 375 00:17:19,619 --> 00:17:20,415 Where was I? 376 00:17:20,420 --> 00:17:26,518 Right! My dick. Anyway, so she lifts her head up, right? 377 00:17:26,567 --> 00:17:29,684 Looks at me with those baby blue eyes. 378 00:17:29,737 --> 00:17:31,022 They were brown. 379 00:17:31,031 --> 00:17:34,319 Brown? Blue? Fucking iridescent! Doesn't matter, 380 00:17:34,375 --> 00:17:35,956 cause I am seeing stars at this point, gentlemen. 381 00:17:35,969 --> 00:17:37,800 And you know what she does? 382 00:17:40,613 --> 00:17:42,296 She hands me two stamps. 383 00:17:42,309 --> 00:17:43,867 Damn, kid. 384 00:17:46,486 --> 00:17:49,410 Feel free to use that in your script. 385 00:17:49,457 --> 00:17:51,345 Oh! What's up, baby? 386 00:17:59,666 --> 00:18:03,523 [Video game beeping] 387 00:18:05,831 --> 00:18:07,822 So, Jimmy, how's school going? 388 00:18:11,077 --> 00:18:13,432 Great. That's great. 389 00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:16,432 Ahh, sorry this is so last minute, Dean. 390 00:18:16,484 --> 00:18:17,906 Can you believe the deal with my sitter? 391 00:18:17,911 --> 00:18:19,640 Yeah. Why was she deported again? 392 00:18:19,687 --> 00:18:21,405 Oh, I don't know. Something about drugs or prostitution 393 00:18:21,455 --> 00:18:25,573 or something. What did we learn about video games? 394 00:18:25,626 --> 00:18:26,775 That they lead to an increase in violence 395 00:18:26,827 --> 00:18:29,682 Okay, promise you'll be good for your uncle. 396 00:18:29,689 --> 00:18:33,022 All right, I left money on the counter for dinner. 397 00:18:33,067 --> 00:18:35,490 You guys can get pizza, but be sure to get a salad, too. 398 00:18:35,536 --> 00:18:37,015 He needs the ruffage. Oh, but nothing with beans. 399 00:18:37,030 --> 00:18:38,418 He can't process beans. 400 00:18:38,431 --> 00:18:39,386 Just get outta here. 401 00:18:39,399 --> 00:18:40,661 All right. 402 00:18:40,667 --> 00:18:41,554 Thank you! You're a life saver. 403 00:18:41,568 --> 00:18:43,399 Sure. 404 00:18:46,546 --> 00:18:50,596 [Video game beeping] 405 00:18:51,786 --> 00:18:54,869 what's say we do something educational, actually? 406 00:18:54,881 --> 00:18:57,577 Like what? 407 00:18:57,625 --> 00:19:00,605 I don't know, why don't I let you decide? 408 00:19:00,620 --> 00:19:02,906 Wrestlemania! 409 00:19:02,922 --> 00:19:05,584 Hey! 410 00:19:05,633 --> 00:19:08,682 [Jimmy groaning] 411 00:19:08,736 --> 00:19:11,625 Hey! Hey, are you busy? 412 00:19:11,631 --> 00:19:14,054 Wrestlemania! 413 00:19:14,108 --> 00:19:16,599 Um, can you give me a hand here? Maybe? 414 00:19:16,644 --> 00:19:18,100 [Claps] 415 00:19:18,145 --> 00:19:20,067 All right. All right. You're asking for it. 416 00:19:20,114 --> 00:19:23,163 I don't hear. Is that a mercy? I don't hear a mercy? 417 00:19:23,217 --> 00:19:24,798 - Stop! Mercy! - Do you hear mercy? 418 00:19:24,811 --> 00:19:26,767 I'm not hearing mercy. At all. Can you? 419 00:19:26,780 --> 00:19:29,442 Are you done? You're totally done? 420 00:19:29,449 --> 00:19:30,802 - Yes! - I don't hear it. 421 00:19:30,858 --> 00:19:32,780 - Mercy! - I can't-- 422 00:19:32,827 --> 00:19:33,646 - Mercy! - Mercy? 423 00:19:33,694 --> 00:19:34,547 I have to hear it louder! 424 00:19:34,595 --> 00:19:35,175 Mercy! 425 00:19:35,188 --> 00:19:36,143 Mercy? 426 00:19:36,197 --> 00:19:36,982 Yes. 427 00:19:36,990 --> 00:19:38,981 All right. Okay. 428 00:19:38,992 --> 00:19:42,519 Yay? What do you mean, yay? It's not over. 429 00:19:43,736 --> 00:19:45,658 Are you guys having sex? 430 00:19:45,706 --> 00:19:47,526 - What? - God, no. 431 00:19:47,575 --> 00:19:49,497 No. 432 00:19:49,543 --> 00:19:52,694 Where did you even learn that word? 433 00:19:52,746 --> 00:19:53,861 Mommy says you used to date. 434 00:19:53,914 --> 00:19:55,097 Oh no. Briefly. 435 00:19:55,108 --> 00:19:56,803 - Yeah, one date. - Yeah, in college. 436 00:19:56,810 --> 00:19:59,005 We never ever had sex. 437 00:19:59,053 --> 00:20:04,207 Yeah, uh, do you even know what sex is, Jimmy? 438 00:20:04,217 --> 00:20:06,048 No, explain it. 439 00:20:06,093 --> 00:20:08,982 Yes, Dean. Do explain it. 440 00:20:10,196 --> 00:20:12,687 Sex is like ice cream 441 00:20:12,692 --> 00:20:14,648 because you, you only have it 442 00:20:14,661 --> 00:20:17,858 with people that you really, really love. 443 00:20:17,905 --> 00:20:18,985 Have you ever had ice cream 444 00:20:18,998 --> 00:20:19,760 with someone before? 445 00:20:19,807 --> 00:20:21,024 No. 446 00:20:21,075 --> 00:20:22,554 So you've never been in love. 447 00:20:22,569 --> 00:20:25,697 Yes. That is right. 448 00:20:25,746 --> 00:20:27,668 So do you masturbate? 449 00:20:29,541 --> 00:20:30,838 You owe me. Big time. 450 00:20:30,885 --> 00:20:33,001 I will, I will paint your friggin' bedroom, okay? 451 00:20:33,053 --> 00:20:36,545 Except I am not doing that shade of yellow. 452 00:20:36,549 --> 00:20:37,777 - Yes, you are. - That is disgusting. 453 00:20:37,825 --> 00:20:39,679 Because you owe me. So figure it out. 454 00:20:39,727 --> 00:20:40,705 - All right. - Just make it work. 455 00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:43,052 Well, thanks again for everything. 456 00:20:43,097 --> 00:20:45,145 Ride included. 457 00:20:45,158 --> 00:20:48,150 Well, note to self: buy a car. Some day. Please. 458 00:20:48,161 --> 00:20:50,083 And fully commit to LA? 459 00:20:50,137 --> 00:20:52,856 Has your shit gone crazy? Get out of here. 460 00:20:52,907 --> 00:20:54,727 It's been two years, you know? 461 00:20:54,775 --> 00:20:56,731 She's not gonna wait around forever. 462 00:20:56,777 --> 00:20:59,268 Yeah, well, she's a fickle mistress. 463 00:20:59,313 --> 00:21:02,532 Yeah. No kidding. 464 00:21:02,583 --> 00:21:05,632 I will buy a car, when I have a solid reason to stay. 465 00:21:05,686 --> 00:21:06,937 All right. Good. Done and done. 466 00:21:06,987 --> 00:21:09,876 Now get outta here, you punk. 467 00:21:09,924 --> 00:21:10,845 - Bye. - Bye. 468 00:21:10,850 --> 00:21:11,874 - Oh. - Um. 469 00:21:11,926 --> 00:21:13,177 - Okay. - I'm so sorry. 470 00:21:13,227 --> 00:21:14,251 I mean, really? Dean? 471 00:21:14,295 --> 00:21:16,684 And I think our lips actually touched there. 472 00:21:16,689 --> 00:21:19,783 Are you wearing like a peach, like, melon? 473 00:21:19,833 --> 00:21:22,222 Okay. You know what? It's actually not the first time 474 00:21:22,228 --> 00:21:23,786 you tried to kiss me. 475 00:21:23,837 --> 00:21:24,952 Really? 476 00:21:25,005 --> 00:21:26,654 - Really? - Yeah. 477 00:21:26,707 --> 00:21:28,186 Because as I recall, it was actually you 478 00:21:28,201 --> 00:21:29,930 who was the instigator of our one kiss. 479 00:21:29,977 --> 00:21:31,262 The kiss that you bailed on. 480 00:21:31,271 --> 00:21:33,557 Okay. Only because I had just had a root canal, 481 00:21:33,614 --> 00:21:37,038 pretty clear about prior to the start of the date. 482 00:21:37,084 --> 00:21:40,303 My bottom lip was like still numb. Give me a break. 483 00:21:40,354 --> 00:21:41,935 Mhmm, and all this time 484 00:21:41,948 --> 00:21:43,870 I thought that drool was for me. 485 00:21:43,924 --> 00:21:45,642 - [Laughs] - Okay, seriously. 486 00:21:45,652 --> 00:21:48,917 - All right, fine. Going. - Hurry up. 487 00:21:48,922 --> 00:21:49,786 Move it! 488 00:21:49,789 --> 00:21:50,915 - Bye. - Bye! 489 00:21:50,965 --> 00:21:51,784 [Car door slams] 490 00:21:51,791 --> 00:21:52,883 - Ow! - Sorry. 491 00:21:52,892 --> 00:21:55,247 That was really violent. 492 00:21:55,261 --> 00:21:56,922 Not necessary. 493 00:21:56,930 --> 00:22:00,991 [Street noise] 494 00:22:04,377 --> 00:22:08,063 [wind blowing] 495 00:22:10,242 --> 00:22:14,702 Let us have wine, women, mirth, and laughter. 496 00:22:14,755 --> 00:22:17,838 Sermons and soda water the day after. 497 00:22:17,850 --> 00:22:19,977 Don Juan. 498 00:22:20,027 --> 00:22:21,642 Oh, a literary man, no less. 499 00:22:21,695 --> 00:22:24,619 Yeah, well five years of college finally paying off. 500 00:22:24,665 --> 00:22:26,917 And what dream are we pursuing now? 501 00:22:26,967 --> 00:22:29,822 That of the actor? The director? 502 00:22:29,829 --> 00:22:30,818 Screenwriter. 503 00:22:30,830 --> 00:22:32,092 Hmm. 504 00:22:32,098 --> 00:22:34,020 A bartender that writes. 505 00:22:34,074 --> 00:22:35,962 A writer who bartends. 506 00:22:35,969 --> 00:22:38,699 Huh. Anything I might have seen? 507 00:22:38,746 --> 00:22:39,667 You ever see The Hangover? 508 00:22:39,672 --> 00:22:40,798 I did. 509 00:22:40,848 --> 00:22:42,634 Yeah. I didn't write that. 510 00:22:42,642 --> 00:22:44,166 I'll tell you, if it's any consolation, 511 00:22:44,177 --> 00:22:46,941 you got most of the whiskey in the glass. 512 00:22:56,990 --> 00:22:59,379 No, that's Thomas Jefferson. 513 00:22:59,392 --> 00:23:02,350 Hey, um, earlier today one of my buddies was in here. 514 00:23:02,403 --> 00:23:04,826 Anyway, he works for a record studio 515 00:23:04,831 --> 00:23:08,187 so I gave him your number. If, if that's okay? 516 00:23:08,201 --> 00:23:10,999 Yeah. I mean, that'd be, that'd be great. Thank you. 517 00:23:11,045 --> 00:23:14,162 All right. Just looking out. 518 00:23:14,214 --> 00:23:16,728 That's a nice looking lady. 519 00:23:16,784 --> 00:23:21,005 [Wind blowing] 520 00:23:21,055 --> 00:23:22,875 ♪♪ 521 00:23:28,387 --> 00:23:31,083 Okay, here we go. 522 00:23:35,868 --> 00:23:37,688 Magic time. 523 00:23:42,868 --> 00:23:45,792 Come on. 524 00:23:47,339 --> 00:23:49,739 Magic time. 525 00:23:51,117 --> 00:23:54,041 [Types aggressively] 526 00:23:54,088 --> 00:23:55,703 When I was in college, I took one of those 527 00:23:55,756 --> 00:23:57,235 career aptitude tests. 528 00:23:57,250 --> 00:23:58,877 You know, answered a lot of questions 529 00:23:58,926 --> 00:24:01,906 And you know they said I should be? 530 00:24:01,921 --> 00:24:04,185 A ferry boat captain. 531 00:24:04,190 --> 00:24:05,282 Not a writer. 532 00:24:05,291 --> 00:24:07,122 A ferry boat captain. 533 00:24:07,167 --> 00:24:08,987 I mean, do you like even have to go to college 534 00:24:09,036 --> 00:24:10,355 to be a ferry boat captain? 535 00:24:10,404 --> 00:24:12,417 Is that something you could apply for? 536 00:24:12,432 --> 00:24:13,763 I don't know. 537 00:24:13,807 --> 00:24:16,389 What's your script about, uncle Dean? 538 00:24:16,402 --> 00:24:18,996 It's about falling in love. 539 00:24:19,046 --> 00:24:22,061 But I thought you said you've never been in love. 540 00:24:22,116 --> 00:24:23,834 That's right. 541 00:24:23,884 --> 00:24:26,899 Then how do you write about it? 542 00:24:26,954 --> 00:24:28,740 [Sighs] 543 00:24:28,748 --> 00:24:30,238 Maybe you should fall in love. 544 00:24:30,249 --> 00:24:33,241 Jimmy, that's easy to say, buddy. 545 00:24:33,293 --> 00:24:36,080 But you can't just go out there and fall in love 546 00:24:36,089 --> 00:24:39,422 like it's something you can just do. 547 00:24:39,466 --> 00:24:41,013 You ever tried? 548 00:24:42,227 --> 00:24:43,990 No. 549 00:24:44,037 --> 00:24:45,823 Then how do you know? 550 00:24:50,076 --> 00:24:51,464 [Laughs] That's amazing. 551 00:24:51,471 --> 00:24:53,393 So wait, where did you go to school? 552 00:24:53,447 --> 00:24:54,926 Uh, I went to Berkeley. 553 00:24:54,941 --> 00:24:56,932 Oh, Berkley. That's a really good school. 554 00:24:56,984 --> 00:24:58,497 - Thank you. - That was my reach school. 555 00:24:58,511 --> 00:25:01,275 I went to school back east. Uh, NYU. 556 00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:02,474 Hmm. Not as good, but... 557 00:25:02,482 --> 00:25:06,316 Are you, uh, trying to start a fire with those things? 558 00:25:06,319 --> 00:25:09,015 Oh, right. I'm sorry. 559 00:25:09,021 --> 00:25:10,875 I guess I'm just a little nervous. 560 00:25:10,890 --> 00:25:17,056 I mean, if it makes you feel any better, I'm nervous too. 561 00:25:17,104 --> 00:25:17,854 Really? You are? 562 00:25:17,905 --> 00:25:19,987 Of course. 563 00:25:19,999 --> 00:25:22,160 It's all a bit of a game, isn't it. 564 00:25:22,168 --> 00:25:23,965 What is? 565 00:25:23,970 --> 00:25:25,892 Just dating, in general. 566 00:25:25,946 --> 00:25:28,062 I just mean that there are so many rules 567 00:25:28,115 --> 00:25:32,040 It's like we have to become these super human people 568 00:25:32,085 --> 00:25:36,010 who always order the right thing or like the right music 569 00:25:36,056 --> 00:25:37,102 or tell the perfect story. 570 00:25:37,157 --> 00:25:40,172 Or who never have to go to the bathroom. 571 00:25:40,227 --> 00:25:42,115 Exactly. It's like, we're nervous. 572 00:25:42,121 --> 00:25:43,145 Why can't we go to the bathroom 573 00:25:43,197 --> 00:25:44,209 three or four times on a date? 574 00:25:44,264 --> 00:25:47,950 It's actually why I'm wearing a catheter right now. 575 00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:50,292 Oh no... 576 00:25:50,337 --> 00:25:51,884 I'm so sorry. 577 00:25:51,898 --> 00:25:55,459 I'm not actually wearing a catheter right now, 578 00:25:55,468 --> 00:25:57,527 but you see that's a perfect example of a joke 579 00:25:57,578 --> 00:25:59,296 that doesn't work. 580 00:25:59,346 --> 00:26:01,166 It just goes to show you, yoh what you s. 581 00:26:01,215 --> 00:26:02,898 I totally agree with you. 582 00:26:02,909 --> 00:26:05,469 It's all about socially retarded. Don't you think? 583 00:26:07,979 --> 00:26:09,105 What? 584 00:26:09,156 --> 00:26:10,908 My little sister is retarded. 585 00:26:10,917 --> 00:26:14,512 It's an old make-up factory that we converted into a loft. 586 00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:16,010 God, that sounds neat. 587 00:26:16,063 --> 00:26:17,542 Yeah. The only real drawback is that 588 00:26:17,598 --> 00:26:20,078 there are no windows or walls. 589 00:26:20,133 --> 00:26:22,317 So you don't have bedrooms or anything? 590 00:26:22,328 --> 00:26:24,387 We just, we threw up curtains 591 00:26:24,397 --> 00:26:26,160 to divide up the space. 592 00:26:26,206 --> 00:26:28,094 Oh. That must be tough on privacy. 593 00:26:28,100 --> 00:26:30,898 Yeah, well, like my roommate always says: 594 00:26:30,944 --> 00:26:34,163 If one of us is having sex, we're all having sex. 595 00:26:35,607 --> 00:26:38,440 Yeah, family is so important to me. 596 00:26:38,485 --> 00:26:40,874 I agree. I really do. 597 00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:42,541 Well, what's your family like? 598 00:26:42,548 --> 00:26:46,177 Well, my parents are divorced, but um... 599 00:26:46,226 --> 00:26:50,083 but I have a sister, who is actually also divorced, um... 600 00:26:50,089 --> 00:26:52,045 I've actually never been involved in anything 601 00:26:52,058 --> 00:26:55,084 That's like, I, I like to have sex with one person 602 00:26:55,135 --> 00:26:56,056 at a time. 603 00:26:56,103 --> 00:26:57,525 I haven't even really-- 604 00:26:57,530 --> 00:26:59,623 I'm waiting 'til I get married. 605 00:26:59,632 --> 00:27:01,623 Oh my God. I'm so sorry. 606 00:27:01,675 --> 00:27:03,893 I shouldn't laugh. That's terrible. 607 00:27:03,944 --> 00:27:05,992 But they don't have any kids, 608 00:27:06,046 --> 00:27:07,593 my aunt says that that's like, 609 00:27:07,607 --> 00:27:10,167 would like totally ruin everything. 610 00:27:12,177 --> 00:27:14,270 I... your sister's a retard? I'm sorry. That's worse. 611 00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:16,544 That's worse. I should not have said that, that's-- 612 00:27:16,549 --> 00:27:18,278 Wow! That's crazy. 613 00:27:18,325 --> 00:27:20,111 Can't believe you've never had a boyfriend. 614 00:27:20,119 --> 00:27:22,314 Well, I've never really had time for a relationship-- 615 00:27:22,321 --> 00:27:24,084 because I was molested by-- 616 00:27:24,090 --> 00:27:27,184 Dogs. I'm allergic to dogs. 617 00:27:27,234 --> 00:27:28,553 How do you know that's not dog? 618 00:27:28,561 --> 00:27:30,017 I don't eat meat. 619 00:27:30,029 --> 00:27:31,121 I don't do dairy. 620 00:27:31,130 --> 00:27:33,086 I don't swallow. 621 00:27:33,099 --> 00:27:34,589 I've never had an orgasm. 622 00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:35,624 I've frozen my eggs. 623 00:27:35,676 --> 00:27:38,258 Have you ever tried tantra? 624 00:27:38,271 --> 00:27:39,932 Are you staring at my breasts? 625 00:27:39,939 --> 00:27:43,067 My last boyfriend's penis was too large. 626 00:27:43,116 --> 00:27:45,266 Check, please. 627 00:27:50,482 --> 00:27:53,610 [Intercom] Next stop: Highland Park. 628 00:27:53,619 --> 00:27:55,678 Look over there to your left, Dean. 629 00:27:55,688 --> 00:27:58,043 Leave me alone. 630 00:27:58,098 --> 00:28:00,521 Come on, dude. Look to your left. 631 00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:04,516 She could be the one. 632 00:28:06,131 --> 00:28:07,484 Go talk to her, man. 633 00:28:07,500 --> 00:28:11,061 I-- and what, look like a psycho? No, thanks. 634 00:28:11,070 --> 00:28:12,298 Well, maybe you are a psycho. 635 00:28:12,346 --> 00:28:14,325 You ever consider that? 636 00:28:14,340 --> 00:28:15,602 All the time. 637 00:28:20,486 --> 00:28:22,534 Oops, my bad. 638 00:28:24,549 --> 00:28:27,313 Yes, so good! Feels good! 639 00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:29,481 - Yes. Fuck. - Don't say anything! 640 00:28:29,488 --> 00:28:31,342 Don't, don't talk. Don't talk. 641 00:28:31,357 --> 00:28:33,313 Yeah, okay now talk. Don't. 642 00:28:33,367 --> 00:28:35,085 No, don't talk. Don't. Don't talk. 643 00:28:35,135 --> 00:28:39,458 [Yells] It's coming! It's coming! 644 00:28:39,506 --> 00:28:41,462 [Screams] 645 00:28:41,467 --> 00:28:43,298 Unh! 646 00:28:44,677 --> 00:28:46,099 [Indistinct] 647 00:28:47,747 --> 00:28:49,066 Hi. 648 00:28:51,110 --> 00:28:54,136 [Heavy breathing] 649 00:28:56,255 --> 00:28:57,301 Can I ask you something? 650 00:28:57,357 --> 00:28:58,437 [Phone rings] 651 00:28:58,451 --> 00:28:59,713 Hang on a sec. 652 00:28:59,719 --> 00:29:01,710 [Phone rings] 653 00:29:01,721 --> 00:29:02,710 Hello? 654 00:29:02,722 --> 00:29:05,111 Hi. Hi, stranger. 655 00:29:05,165 --> 00:29:06,553 Where have you been? 656 00:29:06,559 --> 00:29:09,255 Yeah, that'd be great! 657 00:29:10,228 --> 00:29:13,356 [Laughs] You're bad! 658 00:29:13,407 --> 00:29:15,261 [Inaudible] 659 00:29:15,308 --> 00:29:16,229 I can't tell you that right now. 660 00:29:16,276 --> 00:29:18,597 I've got someone here. 661 00:29:18,645 --> 00:29:21,432 Yeah, well, what are you wearing? 662 00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:23,601 Wh-- are you? 663 00:29:23,609 --> 00:29:26,339 Oh, you're not going to want to know what I'm wearing. 664 00:29:26,386 --> 00:29:30,140 Look, Pete. It's for the best man. You gotta trust me. 665 00:29:30,149 --> 00:29:31,605 She called me a cocksucker. 666 00:29:31,617 --> 00:29:32,709 Damn, kid. 667 00:29:32,718 --> 00:29:36,381 I just can't be with a chick who's gonna 668 00:29:36,389 --> 00:29:38,050 call me a cocksucker. 669 00:29:38,098 --> 00:29:39,281 You shouldn't have to be. 670 00:29:39,291 --> 00:29:40,417 It's not very loving. 671 00:29:40,467 --> 00:29:43,118 No, it's not. I agree. 672 00:29:43,129 --> 00:29:44,357 - What's up, buddy? - What's up? 673 00:29:44,404 --> 00:29:46,395 Hey, what's going on? 674 00:29:46,399 --> 00:29:49,061 Uh, Beth dumped Pete again. 675 00:29:49,068 --> 00:29:51,263 No. I dumped her. 676 00:29:51,270 --> 00:29:53,226 Well, I'm sorry. He dumped her. 677 00:29:53,239 --> 00:29:54,103 Why? 678 00:29:54,147 --> 00:29:55,398 Well, Pete's a cocksucker. 679 00:29:55,408 --> 00:29:56,761 Sorry to hear that, Pete. 680 00:29:56,817 --> 00:29:59,536 Why don't you come out for a drink with us? 681 00:29:59,586 --> 00:30:01,440 Can't do it. Gotta write. 682 00:30:01,447 --> 00:30:02,311 Write later. 683 00:30:02,355 --> 00:30:04,141 Write later? 684 00:30:04,150 --> 00:30:06,141 Dude, you write all the time. Write later. 685 00:30:06,152 --> 00:30:08,279 I don't want to write later. I feel like writing right now. 686 00:30:08,328 --> 00:30:09,647 Dude, your friend is in pain. 687 00:30:09,696 --> 00:30:11,652 Whatever. They break up like three times a month. 688 00:30:11,657 --> 00:30:13,545 Dude, this was the last time. 689 00:30:13,559 --> 00:30:16,448 You see? That's the last time. 690 00:30:16,462 --> 00:30:18,123 I gotta write. 691 00:30:18,130 --> 00:30:19,154 Wow. 692 00:30:19,206 --> 00:30:21,788 [Laughs] I'm not hearing this. 693 00:30:21,801 --> 00:30:24,326 Look, I'm sorry. I can'tjust go out bar hopping 694 00:30:24,377 --> 00:30:26,368 with the guys every time I feel like it. I have-- 695 00:30:26,372 --> 00:30:29,261 there's things that you might not understand... 696 00:30:29,316 --> 00:30:30,362 Self control. 697 00:30:30,417 --> 00:30:31,770 Discipline. 698 00:30:31,818 --> 00:30:33,604 Will power. 699 00:30:33,653 --> 00:30:35,268 [♪ Dance music ♪] 700 00:30:35,281 --> 00:30:37,306 Please don't. 701 00:30:37,357 --> 00:30:38,437 Oh, please do. 702 00:30:38,451 --> 00:30:39,440 What! 703 00:30:39,452 --> 00:30:40,373 [Pete laughs] 704 00:30:40,427 --> 00:30:41,780 Wow! 705 00:30:41,828 --> 00:30:45,218 ♪ Yeah! ♪ 706 00:30:45,265 --> 00:30:46,846 You're a terrible dancer! 707 00:30:46,859 --> 00:30:48,349 Wow! 708 00:30:50,337 --> 00:30:53,283 Is that? You send--are you sending me in? 709 00:30:53,299 --> 00:30:55,392 - He's sending me. - It's been sent. 710 00:30:55,401 --> 00:30:56,629 ♪ Those girls are lookin' at me ♪ 711 00:30:56,676 --> 00:30:58,132 Wow! 712 00:30:58,137 --> 00:30:59,468 ♪ Those girls are lookin' at me ♪ 713 00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:03,670 ♪ Check me out ♪ 714 00:31:03,717 --> 00:31:07,369 Come on, catch that shit. 715 00:31:07,379 --> 00:31:08,778 ♪ Those girls are lookin' at me ♪ 716 00:31:08,781 --> 00:31:10,373 [laughs] 717 00:31:10,382 --> 00:31:12,509 - Come on. - Come on! 718 00:31:12,518 --> 00:31:13,405 Yeah! 719 00:31:13,419 --> 00:31:14,477 I fuckin' hate you guys. 720 00:31:14,487 --> 00:31:15,476 I fuckin' hate you too. 721 00:31:15,488 --> 00:31:20,323 ♪ Cause I'm a hottie with a body ♪ 722 00:31:20,367 --> 00:31:24,485 ♪ I'll make them cuties shake their booties ♪ 723 00:31:24,497 --> 00:31:28,422 ♪ I turn the dance to believers ♪ 724 00:31:28,475 --> 00:31:32,866 ♪ I get 'em hot just like a fever♪ 725 00:31:32,872 --> 00:31:35,397 ♪ Cause I'm a hottie with a body ♪ 726 00:31:35,407 --> 00:31:39,366 ♪ I make them cuties shake their booties ♪ 727 00:31:39,378 --> 00:31:43,644 ♪ I turn the dance to believers ♪ 728 00:31:43,649 --> 00:31:47,346 Be still my groin. 729 00:31:47,394 --> 00:31:51,376 I'm getting some serious E. Gentlemen, excuse me. 730 00:31:51,390 --> 00:31:54,450 Yeah, I'm gonna do a lap. 731 00:31:54,460 --> 00:31:59,386 ♪♪ 732 00:31:59,398 --> 00:32:00,262 Great. 733 00:32:00,307 --> 00:32:02,696 ♪♪ 734 00:32:02,701 --> 00:32:05,261 Hey, can I get a whiskey when you get a chance? 735 00:32:05,271 --> 00:32:06,659 Please? 736 00:32:06,672 --> 00:32:09,436 Hey, need a favor. 737 00:32:09,441 --> 00:32:10,738 She's got a friend. 738 00:32:10,784 --> 00:32:12,900 No. No. Fuck no. 739 00:32:12,912 --> 00:32:15,369 Before you say anything, she is, she's beautiful. 740 00:32:15,381 --> 00:32:16,507 Okay? 741 00:32:16,556 --> 00:32:18,945 You're gonna like her. I promise. 742 00:32:18,951 --> 00:32:22,512 How? What? How do I owe you anything. 743 00:32:22,521 --> 00:32:24,443 I'll owe you. Okay? Come on. 744 00:32:28,227 --> 00:32:30,582 I would like you to meet a good friend of mine. 745 00:32:30,637 --> 00:32:31,786 - This is Dean. - Hi. 746 00:32:31,838 --> 00:32:34,454 - Dean, this is Monique. - Hi. 747 00:32:34,507 --> 00:32:36,555 - And her friend-- - Jasmine. 748 00:32:36,569 --> 00:32:37,558 Nice to meet you. 749 00:32:37,570 --> 00:32:38,901 Jasmine's a writer, too. 750 00:32:38,945 --> 00:32:41,300 Really? What do you write? 751 00:32:41,348 --> 00:32:43,270 The advice column for Out. 752 00:32:43,316 --> 00:32:45,432 Oh, that's like, a travel magazine, right? 753 00:32:45,485 --> 00:32:48,306 Actually, it's an alternative lifestyles publication. 754 00:32:50,548 --> 00:32:52,311 Bro, you see that? 755 00:32:52,318 --> 00:32:53,808 What? 756 00:32:53,819 --> 00:32:55,650 She's giving me E. 757 00:32:55,695 --> 00:32:56,741 Oh yeah? How do you know? 758 00:32:56,796 --> 00:32:57,876 I can just tell. 759 00:32:57,890 --> 00:32:59,414 It's one of those things. 760 00:32:59,466 --> 00:33:01,980 God, I love being single. 761 00:33:02,035 --> 00:33:03,957 Hmm. 762 00:33:04,004 --> 00:33:08,452 Watch the kid go to work. 763 00:33:08,467 --> 00:33:10,799 Men in LA play so many games. 764 00:33:10,844 --> 00:33:12,425 They're so non-committal. 765 00:33:12,438 --> 00:33:15,293 I just got tired of looking for a man who could be. 766 00:33:15,348 --> 00:33:16,599 Just be. 767 00:33:16,609 --> 00:33:20,375 This is why I've chosen to be with women. 768 00:33:20,379 --> 00:33:22,267 She's totally checking me out. 769 00:33:22,281 --> 00:33:24,738 She's coming right there, watching my every move. 770 00:33:26,618 --> 00:33:28,381 She looks like Beth. 771 00:33:29,921 --> 00:33:31,650 So is what you're doing working? 772 00:33:31,657 --> 00:33:34,546 Oh, you know it is. You know it is. Try it. 773 00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:36,892 How do I do it? Just send it out there. 774 00:33:38,529 --> 00:33:41,327 Send it, baby. Send it. 775 00:33:41,374 --> 00:33:44,457 Most men I've dated, I would classify as penetrators. 776 00:33:44,470 --> 00:33:47,325 I'm not too big on being penetrated. 777 00:33:47,339 --> 00:33:50,331 Vagina is actually Latin for sheath. 778 00:33:50,383 --> 00:33:53,500 I just got tired of being another sheath, you know? 779 00:33:53,553 --> 00:33:54,531 Totally. 780 00:33:54,587 --> 00:33:56,635 Yeah, okay. We're gonna go. 781 00:33:56,649 --> 00:33:58,742 Have fun. 782 00:34:01,427 --> 00:34:04,419 Your friend, for example, he's a penetrator. 783 00:34:04,464 --> 00:34:05,852 Will you excuse me for a second? 784 00:34:08,434 --> 00:34:10,516 Hey, man. Can I get a whiskey neat, please? 785 00:34:10,529 --> 00:34:11,621 Thanks. 786 00:34:13,531 --> 00:34:14,793 Keep it. 787 00:34:18,369 --> 00:34:23,568 No way! My God. 788 00:34:25,484 --> 00:34:31,707 Send it, baby. Send that E. Send it. 789 00:34:31,717 --> 00:34:36,450 Come on. Look at me. I command you to look at me. 790 00:34:36,496 --> 00:34:38,009 What am I doing? Oh my gosh. 791 00:34:38,064 --> 00:34:42,080 Just go over there and talk to her, you lunatic. 792 00:34:42,135 --> 00:34:45,650 Stop talking to yourself. That would be really smart. 793 00:34:54,472 --> 00:34:55,962 Damn. 794 00:35:02,547 --> 00:35:05,710 Unbelievable! Nice job, Dean. 795 00:35:05,718 --> 00:35:07,345 What? 796 00:35:07,394 --> 00:35:10,545 On the way back to The Cave, thank you very much. 797 00:35:10,597 --> 00:35:12,679 Oh, who cares, man? It's all bullshit anyway. 798 00:35:12,691 --> 00:35:16,115 This endless need to prove your masculinity. 799 00:35:16,128 --> 00:35:17,413 Divide and conquer. 800 00:35:17,429 --> 00:35:18,885 Ooh, I'm getting serious E. 801 00:35:18,897 --> 00:35:20,455 - What is that? - It's energy. 802 00:35:20,507 --> 00:35:21,792 I know what it is, Pete. 803 00:35:21,800 --> 00:35:24,894 I'm asking what it really means. What does it say? 804 00:35:24,944 --> 00:35:26,593 What are we doing here? 805 00:35:26,646 --> 00:35:28,864 I know you're here to hook up, Jay. 806 00:35:28,915 --> 00:35:31,065 I'm just asking what does it say 807 00:35:31,117 --> 00:35:33,506 about the human condition? 808 00:35:33,512 --> 00:35:36,572 The human condition. 809 00:35:36,623 --> 00:35:39,979 What does my wanting to get laid have anything to do 810 00:35:40,026 --> 00:35:41,914 with the human condition? 811 00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:43,683 I'm just asking questions, man. 812 00:35:43,689 --> 00:35:46,578 Well, I'll tell you one thing. It is no more misguided 813 00:35:46,592 --> 00:35:48,890 than your idiotic quest to find the one. 814 00:35:48,935 --> 00:35:50,118 You think it's misguided? 815 00:35:50,129 --> 00:35:52,620 It's completely misguided. 816 00:35:52,631 --> 00:35:56,761 Finding the one is a inherently false concept. 817 00:35:56,769 --> 00:35:58,532 You know, people have [stammers] this 818 00:35:58,578 --> 00:36:00,626 fairy tale expectation that sex is no longer 819 00:36:00,639 --> 00:36:03,597 gonna be fucking, it's gonna be making love. 820 00:36:03,609 --> 00:36:05,099 And you know what? 821 00:36:05,110 --> 00:36:07,101 They will make love for a while 822 00:36:07,112 --> 00:36:09,171 and then they'll just want to fuck again. 823 00:36:09,181 --> 00:36:10,842 And you know what? 824 00:36:10,849 --> 00:36:13,647 You're gonna think about this. You're gonna think, 825 00:36:13,693 --> 00:36:16,844 why do I want to fuck the person that I love? 826 00:36:16,896 --> 00:36:18,511 And then you'll realize 827 00:36:18,565 --> 00:36:20,681 that you never really loved that person. 828 00:36:20,733 --> 00:36:24,624 Instead, you loved the idea of being in love 829 00:36:24,630 --> 00:36:26,120 with that person, so that person was never truly 830 00:36:26,131 --> 00:36:29,692 the one, she was your idea of what the one should be. 831 00:36:29,701 --> 00:36:30,861 It's a mind fuck. 832 00:36:30,869 --> 00:36:32,200 You're a sad man, Jay. 833 00:36:32,245 --> 00:36:33,564 I'm an honest man. 834 00:36:33,572 --> 00:36:35,199 Pete, help me out here. 835 00:36:37,708 --> 00:36:41,132 I have a test. It's called The Mud Puddle Test. 836 00:36:41,187 --> 00:36:44,668 Yeah, say I'm walking with my girl down the street 837 00:36:44,724 --> 00:36:46,510 and she somehow manages to slip and fall 838 00:36:46,518 --> 00:36:49,544 Somehow manages? Pete what are you talking about? 839 00:36:49,596 --> 00:36:50,676 No, no, no. I'm serious. 840 00:36:50,689 --> 00:36:52,020 Look, there are two outcomes. 841 00:36:52,065 --> 00:36:53,817 Either she laughs about it or complains about it. 842 00:36:53,867 --> 00:36:55,983 The good girl's always gonna laugh about it, right? 843 00:36:56,035 --> 00:36:59,687 But the one, the woman you're gonna marry, 844 00:36:59,698 --> 00:37:02,724 she's gonna drag you right into that puddle with her. 845 00:37:02,775 --> 00:37:04,788 See how that works? 846 00:37:04,844 --> 00:37:06,835 Pete, are you like, 847 00:37:06,839 --> 00:37:08,761 pushing all your dates into mud puddles? 848 00:37:08,815 --> 00:37:11,704 No no, idiot. No. I just imagine what each one 849 00:37:11,710 --> 00:37:14,838 of them would be like in that situation, based on signs 850 00:37:14,888 --> 00:37:16,901 I've gotten while we were dating. 851 00:37:16,956 --> 00:37:18,036 And Beth? 852 00:37:19,851 --> 00:37:23,184 I don't even know anymore. 853 00:37:23,188 --> 00:37:24,780 What about you, Andre? 854 00:37:24,790 --> 00:37:27,588 Me? I love Anna. 855 00:37:27,634 --> 00:37:28,714 Who's Anna? 856 00:37:28,727 --> 00:37:30,058 She lives in New York. 857 00:37:30,103 --> 00:37:31,855 But I thought that Rosa was your girl. 858 00:37:31,905 --> 00:37:33,623 No, Anna's his girl girl. 859 00:37:33,673 --> 00:37:35,254 So does Anna sleep with other people? 860 00:37:35,308 --> 00:37:37,731 No. How do you know? 861 00:37:37,777 --> 00:37:38,926 She's a good girl. 862 00:37:38,937 --> 00:37:39,824 But you do. 863 00:37:39,838 --> 00:37:41,260 I'm a bad boy. 864 00:37:41,314 --> 00:37:43,771 And you love her? 865 00:37:43,816 --> 00:37:46,865 Love is comfort. At least for me, it's comfort. 866 00:37:46,879 --> 00:37:49,643 It's knowing she'll be there whenever I need her. 867 00:37:49,648 --> 00:37:50,842 It's like this lighter. 868 00:37:50,849 --> 00:37:52,612 I love this lighter 869 00:37:52,618 --> 00:37:54,745 cause I know it's always gonna work. 870 00:37:54,794 --> 00:37:58,912 So you love Anna like you love your lighter? 871 00:37:58,965 --> 00:38:00,250 He loves his lighter more. 872 00:38:00,259 --> 00:38:01,954 I need a lighter. 873 00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:04,690 She's the one. 874 00:38:06,130 --> 00:38:08,860 A toast then, to finding the one. 875 00:38:08,908 --> 00:38:11,888 No, no. 876 00:38:11,945 --> 00:38:15,199 A toast to lying, cheating, stealing, 877 00:38:15,207 --> 00:38:16,936 lying for your friends, cheating death, 878 00:38:16,983 --> 00:38:18,871 and stealing ladies' hearts. 879 00:38:18,877 --> 00:38:22,677 I'll catch you guys later. 880 00:38:22,681 --> 00:38:23,875 What the fuck? 881 00:38:29,620 --> 00:38:32,578 Dean! You all right? 882 00:38:32,591 --> 00:38:34,047 Yeah. I'm just-- 883 00:38:35,267 --> 00:38:36,757 Yeah, I'm fine. 884 00:38:36,762 --> 00:38:38,889 Look, if it makes any difference, 885 00:38:38,897 --> 00:38:41,058 I get what you're saying. 886 00:38:41,107 --> 00:38:43,155 You going back to The Cave? 887 00:38:44,769 --> 00:38:47,863 Nah. No. 888 00:38:47,914 --> 00:38:49,165 I know. 889 00:38:49,215 --> 00:38:50,603 Give her my best. 890 00:38:50,609 --> 00:38:51,598 I will. 891 00:38:51,610 --> 00:38:52,895 - Bye, buddy. - Later. 892 00:38:54,879 --> 00:38:58,144 [Phone rings] 893 00:39:03,788 --> 00:39:08,885 [train passing] 894 00:39:13,405 --> 00:39:15,953 I, I know that, I know that you can't look for it, okay? 895 00:39:15,968 --> 00:39:19,859 It's just these women I've been going out with-- 896 00:39:19,871 --> 00:39:21,293 too much baggage. 897 00:39:21,347 --> 00:39:22,962 Orjust way too shallow. 898 00:39:23,016 --> 00:39:24,972 Yeah, says the guy looking for love 899 00:39:24,977 --> 00:39:26,933 to finish his screenplay. 900 00:39:26,986 --> 00:39:30,638 Well, maybe I'm writing it as a subconscious expression 901 00:39:30,649 --> 00:39:33,812 of my need to fall in love. You ever think about that? 902 00:39:33,819 --> 00:39:37,050 Well, you're wrong. You gotta look for the signs. 903 00:39:37,096 --> 00:39:41,715 Like the small miracles. The weird coincidences. 904 00:39:41,727 --> 00:39:45,720 The deja-vus. The stuff that turns you off. 905 00:39:45,731 --> 00:39:47,892 The stuff that makes you tingle. 906 00:39:47,899 --> 00:39:49,992 Like seeing the same woman over and over again 907 00:39:50,043 --> 00:39:51,032 every time you go out? 908 00:39:51,077 --> 00:39:52,863 Exactly. 909 00:39:52,871 --> 00:39:56,295 Or that you had a boyfriend that you discovered 910 00:39:56,308 --> 00:39:57,832 went to the same summer camp as you, 911 00:39:57,884 --> 00:40:00,068 except you guys never ran into each other. 912 00:40:00,078 --> 00:40:01,375 Did that happen to you? 913 00:40:01,380 --> 00:40:02,904 No. 914 00:40:02,955 --> 00:40:04,843 Wouldn't that be cool though? 915 00:40:04,850 --> 00:40:06,203 Yeah, it'd be awesome. 916 00:40:06,218 --> 00:40:07,913 Yeah. 917 00:40:07,919 --> 00:40:09,784 I wish I went to summer camp. 918 00:40:09,788 --> 00:40:11,949 Me too. 919 00:40:15,861 --> 00:40:20,161 I just can't believe you find Shaun White attractive. 920 00:40:20,206 --> 00:40:21,889 - The flying tomato... - I just think if someone has, 921 00:40:21,900 --> 00:40:23,788 I think if someone has longer hair than you, 922 00:40:23,802 --> 00:40:25,861 - Oh! - Oh! Are you okay? 923 00:40:25,871 --> 00:40:26,895 - Oh! - You okay? 924 00:40:26,946 --> 00:40:27,901 [Laughs] 925 00:40:27,947 --> 00:40:29,027 You're such an asshole. 926 00:40:29,041 --> 00:40:30,429 What? It was a sign. 927 00:40:30,483 --> 00:40:32,405 Yeah. Mock me if you must. - Oh, I must. 928 00:40:32,411 --> 00:40:33,901 You buy flower for girl? 929 00:40:33,912 --> 00:40:35,436 Uh, no. No girl... 930 00:40:35,447 --> 00:40:36,869 This girl... 931 00:40:36,923 --> 00:40:38,936 No! No. Not, not girl. 932 00:40:38,950 --> 00:40:40,941 Not girl? Boy? 933 00:40:40,952 --> 00:40:43,216 No, no. I'm not, I'm not his girl. 934 00:40:43,221 --> 00:40:45,746 - We're just friends. - Yeah, we're friends. 935 00:40:45,757 --> 00:40:48,317 Ah! Girlfriend! 936 00:40:50,836 --> 00:40:52,918 Yeah, look, man. 937 00:40:52,931 --> 00:40:54,990 You buy? 938 00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:56,991 Here. Okay. Here. Take these. 939 00:40:57,043 --> 00:40:58,829 No. Flowers bad karma. Huh uh. 940 00:40:58,837 --> 00:40:59,895 What? Take them. Please. 941 00:40:59,946 --> 00:41:03,962 Because. For dealing with my crap. Just take them. 942 00:41:04,016 --> 00:41:05,472 I mean it. 943 00:41:05,477 --> 00:41:07,433 Thank you so much. 944 00:41:07,487 --> 00:41:09,842 Contact. 945 00:41:12,257 --> 00:41:15,044 Other one's getting a little jealous. 946 00:41:24,236 --> 00:41:25,760 [Giggles] 947 00:41:25,805 --> 00:41:26,419 What? 948 00:41:26,431 --> 00:41:28,456 You made me miss my cab! 949 00:41:28,467 --> 00:41:30,298 You made yourself miss your cab. 950 00:41:30,302 --> 00:41:32,031 What are you taking about? Don't flatter yourself. 951 00:41:32,078 --> 00:41:33,397 Kissing you was like kissing my brother. 952 00:41:33,446 --> 00:41:37,098 Really? Kissing you was like kissing my mother. 953 00:41:37,109 --> 00:41:38,838 Kissing you is like kissing my grandfather 954 00:41:38,885 --> 00:41:40,967 and he's dead. 955 00:41:40,979 --> 00:41:42,901 - Well you know what? - Huh? 956 00:41:42,955 --> 00:41:46,948 Kissing you is completely forgettable. 957 00:41:49,127 --> 00:41:50,810 Forgettable? 958 00:41:50,822 --> 00:41:53,382 Completely. 959 00:42:21,393 --> 00:42:23,076 Shit. 960 00:42:39,170 --> 00:42:41,900 [Whistling] 961 00:42:41,948 --> 00:42:44,303 Wakey Wakey. 962 00:42:44,309 --> 00:42:45,503 What? What is it? 963 00:42:45,510 --> 00:42:49,105 Mmm. Eviction notice. 964 00:42:49,155 --> 00:42:52,545 What? For what? 965 00:42:52,551 --> 00:42:56,009 Excessive partying. 966 00:42:56,021 --> 00:42:57,818 Morning, sweetheart. 967 00:43:01,066 --> 00:43:03,182 What the fuck? 968 00:43:03,236 --> 00:43:04,351 Here we go, guys. 969 00:43:04,362 --> 00:43:07,217 Sunny four bedroom loft. High ceilings. 970 00:43:07,273 --> 00:43:10,162 Exposed brick. 971 00:43:10,168 --> 00:43:11,863 Eat-in kitchen. Washer dryer. 972 00:43:11,870 --> 00:43:13,599 Private fucking elevator. 973 00:43:13,646 --> 00:43:15,398 What? Yo, yo. That's the one, kid. 974 00:43:15,448 --> 00:43:16,437 Yeah, but how much is it? 975 00:43:18,116 --> 00:43:21,131 It's $10,000. Fuck me! 976 00:43:21,187 --> 00:43:22,506 Can I get a Jack and Coke? 977 00:43:22,555 --> 00:43:27,481 Oh, we're getting booted from The Cave. 978 00:43:27,526 --> 00:43:29,175 Well, that sucks. 979 00:43:30,621 --> 00:43:34,352 That is a very good point, but you see, the thing is, 980 00:43:34,359 --> 00:43:36,156 I don't know what to say to her. 981 00:43:37,529 --> 00:43:42,922 Oh, yeah. I like her, too. I do. But do I like her? 982 00:43:42,975 --> 00:43:45,091 And if I do like her, is it because I really like her 983 00:43:45,144 --> 00:43:47,635 or because I'm just trying to write my script? 984 00:43:47,639 --> 00:43:49,231 Wow. Am I that shallow? 985 00:43:49,241 --> 00:43:53,405 Maybe I am, but I kissed her. And I liked it. 986 00:43:53,411 --> 00:43:56,073 So I must like her, right? 987 00:43:56,081 --> 00:43:58,311 I like her. 988 00:43:58,357 --> 00:44:00,439 Yeah, that's good. 989 00:44:00,452 --> 00:44:02,113 I like her too. 990 00:44:02,120 --> 00:44:04,111 You should tell her you like her. 991 00:44:04,163 --> 00:44:07,246 Really? You think that's a good idea? 992 00:44:07,259 --> 00:44:09,250 Duh. 993 00:44:09,261 --> 00:44:13,891 [♪Jonathan Foreman: "Give Me Back My Girl"♪] 994 00:44:13,899 --> 00:44:14,456 Oh, hey. 995 00:44:14,507 --> 00:44:15,462 Hey. 996 00:44:15,467 --> 00:44:16,991 I'm sorry. Where're you going? 997 00:44:17,043 --> 00:44:20,627 Yeah, it's empty in there. I got off early. 998 00:44:20,639 --> 00:44:23,130 Oh, okay. Can I talk to you for a sec? 999 00:44:23,141 --> 00:44:26,235 Look, can you talk to me while I'm walking to my car? 1000 00:44:26,285 --> 00:44:28,435 It's actually kinda complicated. 1001 00:44:28,487 --> 00:44:31,672 Okay, um, then how about I'll call you when I have 1002 00:44:31,724 --> 00:44:33,942 a second to actually talk. That okay? 1003 00:44:33,952 --> 00:44:35,510 - Uh yeah. Okay. - All right? 1004 00:44:35,520 --> 00:44:37,215 Okay. Talk to you later. Bye. 1005 00:44:37,222 --> 00:44:39,053 ♪ Feel you creepin'in ♪ 1006 00:44:39,098 --> 00:44:42,022 ♪ Breakin'my heart again ♪ 1007 00:44:42,027 --> 00:44:44,257 ♪ I don't know who I've been ♪ 1008 00:44:44,262 --> 00:44:46,992 ♪ Feels like I'm losing it ♪ 1009 00:44:46,998 --> 00:44:48,226 ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪ 1010 00:44:48,274 --> 00:44:49,286 Shit. 1011 00:44:49,301 --> 00:44:52,293 Hey, Tess! Tess! Hey! Hey! 1012 00:44:52,345 --> 00:44:54,495 ♪ You can have Los Angeles, ♪ 1013 00:44:54,547 --> 00:44:58,131 ♪ Just give me back my girl ♪ 1014 00:44:58,184 --> 00:45:04,475 ♪♪ 1015 00:45:04,523 --> 00:45:07,242 ♪ Feels like I'm losing you ♪ 1016 00:45:07,293 --> 00:45:10,217 ♪ Like I'm being torn in two ♪ 1017 00:45:10,221 --> 00:45:13,247 ♪ After all that we've been through ♪ 1018 00:45:13,258 --> 00:45:15,681 ♪ Is there nothing that I could do ♪ 1019 00:45:15,735 --> 00:45:20,991 ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪ 1020 00:45:20,999 --> 00:45:23,194 ♪ You can have Los Angeles ♪ 1021 00:45:23,201 --> 00:45:25,192 Tess! Wait! Wait! Wait! 1022 00:45:25,244 --> 00:45:27,166 Hey! Hey! Tess! 1023 00:45:27,213 --> 00:45:28,635 Dammit! 1024 00:45:28,640 --> 00:45:32,167 ♪ Just give me back my girl ♪ 1025 00:45:32,218 --> 00:45:35,005 Hey, can you follow that car, please? 1026 00:45:35,054 --> 00:45:37,545 ♪ Give me back my girl ♪ 1027 00:45:37,549 --> 00:45:40,177 ♪ You can have the basin ♪ 1028 00:45:40,226 --> 00:45:43,582 ♪ Just give me back my girl ♪♪ 1029 00:45:43,588 --> 00:45:46,648 [melancholy music] 1030 00:45:55,273 --> 00:45:58,424 Hey, my man. Get out here? 1031 00:45:58,477 --> 00:46:02,470 Oh, uh. No It's actually just a couple more blocks up. 1032 00:46:05,784 --> 00:46:09,368 Hello and welcome back to Here Comes the Bride. 1033 00:46:09,381 --> 00:46:11,167 Yes, it's the big one. 1034 00:46:13,426 --> 00:46:16,441 - You're home? - Yeah. Keen observation. 1035 00:46:16,495 --> 00:46:20,716 No, I just thought. I don't know. You'd be out. 1036 00:46:20,766 --> 00:46:22,347 So what are you guys up to? 1037 00:46:22,360 --> 00:46:24,248 We just came from having cocktails, which reminds me. 1038 00:46:24,262 --> 00:46:27,561 Gotta take a leak, if you pardon my French. 1039 00:46:27,606 --> 00:46:29,289 Didn't know you were bilingual. 1040 00:46:29,300 --> 00:46:31,564 I have many talents, lady. 1041 00:46:31,569 --> 00:46:36,632 Who will be the lucky man to marry her? 1042 00:46:36,641 --> 00:46:41,271 And whisk her away to Cabo for a one week honeymoon? 1043 00:46:41,279 --> 00:46:42,632 It's our show. 1044 00:46:42,647 --> 00:46:45,707 Yeah, our show. 1045 00:46:45,717 --> 00:46:47,639 So what'd you want to talk to me about? 1046 00:46:49,227 --> 00:46:50,410 What do you mean? 1047 00:46:50,463 --> 00:46:52,784 Earlier you wanted to talk to me. 1048 00:46:52,791 --> 00:46:54,622 Oh, right. Yeah. I uh... 1049 00:46:54,667 --> 00:46:56,555 have you ever worked behind the bar before? 1050 00:46:56,561 --> 00:46:58,324 Few times. Why? 1051 00:46:58,329 --> 00:47:00,160 I was just wandering if you could take one of my shifts. 1052 00:47:00,206 --> 00:47:02,754 I'm like, totally overloaded with this whole writing thing 1053 00:47:02,808 --> 00:47:06,323 Really? That's it? 1054 00:47:06,337 --> 00:47:08,066 Yeah. 1055 00:47:08,114 --> 00:47:10,594 Uh huh. Okay. 1056 00:47:10,608 --> 00:47:14,669 I'll talk to Sid and see if everything's okay with that. 1057 00:47:14,679 --> 00:47:15,771 I'm sure it will be fine. 1058 00:47:15,780 --> 00:47:17,577 - Great. - Great. 1059 00:47:17,623 --> 00:47:19,375 Great. 1060 00:47:20,417 --> 00:47:23,784 So what do you think? 1061 00:47:23,788 --> 00:47:26,450 About what? 1062 00:47:26,458 --> 00:47:28,346 We just had our first date. 1063 00:47:29,367 --> 00:47:31,619 No way! You two? 1064 00:47:31,629 --> 00:47:35,121 Yes, and it went quite well, I think. 1065 00:47:35,174 --> 00:47:36,391 Yeah, you got my attention. 1066 00:47:36,401 --> 00:47:39,666 Hmm. So? How about it? 1067 00:47:41,347 --> 00:47:43,599 My two best friends getting together? 1068 00:47:43,608 --> 00:47:45,701 What more could a guy ask for? Huh? 1069 00:47:45,710 --> 00:47:46,597 Beautiful! 1070 00:47:46,611 --> 00:47:47,771 Great. 1071 00:47:47,779 --> 00:47:48,871 Totally. 1072 00:47:48,880 --> 00:47:50,768 So... 1073 00:47:50,782 --> 00:47:54,411 don't you have that thing tonight? 1074 00:47:54,419 --> 00:47:57,513 Right. Yes. My thing. That thing. I gotta-- 1075 00:47:57,563 --> 00:47:58,848 Hey, you don't wanna be late. 1076 00:47:58,857 --> 00:48:01,712 Yeah, I will see you guys, I'll catch up with you-- 1077 00:48:01,767 --> 00:48:02,882 Yeah. Good luck with that. 1078 00:48:02,935 --> 00:48:04,379 Yeah. Okay. 1079 00:48:04,436 --> 00:48:06,119 Yeah, good luck. 1080 00:48:21,512 --> 00:48:24,345 Remember that Latino girl I used to date? 1081 00:48:24,349 --> 00:48:27,409 - You mean Alicia? - Yeah. That's the one. 1082 00:48:27,418 --> 00:48:29,545 You know, I took her to one of those rooftop joints once? 1083 00:48:29,595 --> 00:48:33,213 Yeah man. Did the three D's: drinks, dinner, dancing. 1084 00:48:33,265 --> 00:48:34,914 That kind of thing. Anyway, picture this: 1085 00:48:34,967 --> 00:48:38,585 midnight rolls along and we stroll out onto the deck 1086 00:48:38,637 --> 00:48:41,356 and there was this gigantic moon thatjust sort of 1087 00:48:41,407 --> 00:48:44,365 hung right over the city, lit up the entire sky. 1088 00:48:44,369 --> 00:48:45,654 And there was this gentle breeze that kept 1089 00:48:45,670 --> 00:48:48,434 lifting her hair. It was perfect. 1090 00:48:48,439 --> 00:48:49,701 This is perfect. 1091 00:48:52,510 --> 00:48:55,399 And let me guess? She gave you the old blow job 1092 00:48:55,454 --> 00:48:57,206 right then and there on the deck? 1093 00:48:57,256 --> 00:49:00,214 No, man. It wasn't about that. 1094 00:49:02,427 --> 00:49:05,442 It was just a moment. You know? A perfect moment. 1095 00:49:05,497 --> 00:49:07,545 Everything about the evening, 1096 00:49:07,559 --> 00:49:09,515 everything around us was perfect. I knew it. 1097 00:49:09,527 --> 00:49:11,552 She knew it. And at that moment, 1098 00:49:11,604 --> 00:49:14,493 just for one moment, 1099 00:49:14,499 --> 00:49:17,297 I thought I loved her. 1100 00:49:17,302 --> 00:49:18,428 Did you tell her this? 1101 00:49:18,477 --> 00:49:20,263 Nah. Nah. Nah. I didn't tell her. 1102 00:49:20,271 --> 00:49:21,397 - Why not? - I couldn't. 1103 00:49:21,447 --> 00:49:25,565 Because the moment passed as quickly as it came 1104 00:49:25,618 --> 00:49:28,974 and I realized I don't love the girl. I love the moment. 1105 00:49:28,980 --> 00:49:31,574 See for me, it was always about the moment. 1106 00:49:31,624 --> 00:49:33,808 Well, until I met Anna. 1107 00:49:35,419 --> 00:49:39,583 Do you not have perfect moments with Anna? 1108 00:49:39,591 --> 00:49:41,957 Nah. See with Anna, 1109 00:49:41,960 --> 00:49:43,791 I never even thought about perfect moments. 1110 00:49:43,836 --> 00:49:45,724 Never even tried to look for 'em. 1111 00:49:45,730 --> 00:49:49,461 Then I got to thinking about that and I realized that 1112 00:49:49,467 --> 00:49:53,665 every moment I had with Anna was perfect 1113 00:49:53,671 --> 00:49:56,595 because I loved her 1114 00:49:56,608 --> 00:49:59,668 and I realized that love is the perfect moment 1115 00:49:59,718 --> 00:50:01,436 that never ends. 1116 00:50:03,981 --> 00:50:08,008 So why aren't you with her now, man? 1117 00:50:08,019 --> 00:50:10,908 Ah, she's in, she's in, she's in New York 1118 00:50:10,963 --> 00:50:11,782 and I moved to LA. 1119 00:50:11,789 --> 00:50:18,456 Yeah, but your perfect moment--it's out there. 1120 00:50:18,504 --> 00:50:20,358 It's waiting on you, kid. 1121 00:50:23,600 --> 00:50:25,295 Yeah. 1122 00:50:25,877 --> 00:50:27,526 Good cop, bad cop. 1123 00:50:27,538 --> 00:50:28,562 Who's the good cop? 1124 00:50:28,614 --> 00:50:30,764 You are, kid. 1125 00:50:36,480 --> 00:50:38,675 What's up? 1126 00:50:38,724 --> 00:50:40,772 Yeah. You. 1127 00:50:40,826 --> 00:50:43,044 Look, I'm just gonna come right out and say it, 1128 00:50:43,095 --> 00:50:45,950 you are one sexy biznitch. 1129 00:50:45,957 --> 00:50:49,757 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, is everything okay here? 1130 00:50:49,761 --> 00:50:51,524 Yeah, just talking to the lady, yo. 1131 00:50:51,529 --> 00:50:53,053 Is this guy bothering you? 1132 00:50:53,105 --> 00:50:56,393 Hey! Don't make me get rough with you, buddy. 1133 00:50:56,401 --> 00:50:57,390 Listen, mother fucker. If I have to-- 1134 00:50:57,443 --> 00:50:58,364 I get it. 1135 00:50:58,369 --> 00:50:59,666 Good cop. Bad cop. 1136 00:51:01,438 --> 00:51:03,804 Oh. Wha-- 1137 00:51:08,753 --> 00:51:09,606 Thank you. 1138 00:51:09,655 --> 00:51:11,976 Yeah, I will see you at home. 1139 00:51:14,351 --> 00:51:17,377 Wow. I am so embarrassed. 1140 00:51:17,388 --> 00:51:20,346 And I'm Kat. 1141 00:51:21,591 --> 00:51:24,526 I don't know. I just feel really comfortable around you, 1142 00:51:24,529 --> 00:51:30,024 like already. Like I could just tell you anything. 1143 00:51:30,075 --> 00:51:31,656 So I'm just going to come right out with it. 1144 00:51:31,669 --> 00:51:36,697 I sort of went through this experimental phase. 1145 00:51:36,708 --> 00:51:38,767 What? Like a drug thing? 1146 00:51:40,610 --> 00:51:42,942 No, like a sex thing. 1147 00:51:42,947 --> 00:51:45,871 Oh, like you had a lot of sex? 1148 00:51:45,924 --> 00:51:48,813 Uh, mostly submissive masochistic stuff. 1149 00:51:48,820 --> 00:51:51,675 You know, like spankings, whippings, little bondage. 1150 00:51:51,689 --> 00:51:55,420 It was, it was just this really crazy phase 1151 00:51:55,467 --> 00:51:58,425 that I went through not that long ago. 1152 00:51:58,429 --> 00:52:01,728 Oh God. Is this too much for you? I'm sorry, 1153 00:52:01,774 --> 00:52:04,095 I always do this. I always reveal too much too soon. 1154 00:52:04,143 --> 00:52:06,862 No. No. No. No. I totally get it. 1155 00:52:06,871 --> 00:52:08,964 It's like, how much are you willing to reveal? 1156 00:52:09,014 --> 00:52:10,970 And how soon do you finally reveal yourself? 1157 00:52:11,016 --> 00:52:13,735 Like how long do you have to play the part of the person 1158 00:52:13,786 --> 00:52:17,438 And when do you finally settle into playing the part 1159 00:52:17,448 --> 00:52:21,782 of the person who you really are. 1160 00:52:21,827 --> 00:52:24,614 I like that. 1161 00:52:29,967 --> 00:52:30,717 No. 1162 00:52:30,728 --> 00:52:31,683 What are you doing? 1163 00:52:32,729 --> 00:52:34,754 I'm gonna ride you. 1164 00:52:34,807 --> 00:52:38,493 Can I just say something? 1165 00:52:38,544 --> 00:52:39,158 No. 1166 00:52:39,170 --> 00:52:41,161 Uh, I like you. 1167 00:52:41,213 --> 00:52:43,704 I mean, I don't want you to think I'm like psycho 1168 00:52:43,708 --> 00:52:45,130 or anything, but I can tell that there's something here. 1169 00:52:45,184 --> 00:52:48,108 You know? And of course I wanna do 1170 00:52:48,112 --> 00:52:51,468 what I think we're gonna do, but... 1171 00:52:51,523 --> 00:52:52,603 if we do do it-- 1172 00:52:52,658 --> 00:52:53,738 Quit talking. 1173 00:52:53,751 --> 00:52:57,517 Okay. If we do do it. 1174 00:52:57,563 --> 00:52:59,952 Will there even be a date number two? 1175 00:52:59,957 --> 00:53:02,983 I don't know. Do we call this date number one? 1176 00:53:03,035 --> 00:53:04,753 I don't know what do you think? 1177 00:53:05,929 --> 00:53:09,888 I mean, what do you, what do you think? 1178 00:53:12,076 --> 00:53:13,532 Kat? 1179 00:53:13,538 --> 00:53:16,666 [Light snoring] 1180 00:53:16,715 --> 00:53:17,795 [gasps] 1181 00:53:20,618 --> 00:53:22,666 Who the fuck are you? 1182 00:53:22,680 --> 00:53:25,706 I'm Dean. 1183 00:53:25,757 --> 00:53:28,146 Remember? 1184 00:53:28,193 --> 00:53:30,707 From last night? 1185 00:53:30,721 --> 00:53:32,746 Are you receding? 1186 00:53:33,590 --> 00:53:37,117 [Gasps] 1187 00:53:45,276 --> 00:53:47,597 "Didn't want to wake you up. 1188 00:53:47,646 --> 00:53:53,004 Make sure to lock the door when you leave. Kat." 1189 00:53:53,010 --> 00:53:56,070 ♪ Mathclub "Brand New'" ♪ 1190 00:54:01,051 --> 00:54:03,110 ♪♪ 1191 00:55:12,296 --> 00:55:14,218 ♪♪ 1192 00:55:14,266 --> 00:55:15,119 No. No. No. 1193 00:55:15,167 --> 00:55:16,611 Fucking no. 1194 00:55:16,627 --> 00:55:17,787 What? What's wrong? 1195 00:55:17,836 --> 00:55:19,758 It's just that Jake seems self-indulgent 1196 00:55:19,805 --> 00:55:20,920 and I'm not buying his new relationship 1197 00:55:20,932 --> 00:55:23,594 Really? Because I feel like it's going-- 1198 00:55:23,601 --> 00:55:26,627 Why not have Jake take his own life? 1199 00:55:26,678 --> 00:55:27,690 Excuse me? 1200 00:55:27,746 --> 00:55:28,826 Yeah! 1201 00:55:28,839 --> 00:55:29,897 Have him blow is brains out. 1202 00:55:29,948 --> 00:55:31,870 Yeah, orjump off a tall building. 1203 00:55:31,917 --> 00:55:33,600 I've got it. Suicide, man! 1204 00:55:33,611 --> 00:55:34,703 I love it. 1205 00:55:34,753 --> 00:55:38,177 Never really ever does ever fall in love. 1206 00:55:38,182 --> 00:55:39,945 Instead his journey is to come to terms 1207 00:55:39,951 --> 00:55:42,078 with his wretched inescapable loneliness 1208 00:55:42,127 --> 00:55:44,175 which in turn leads to his suicide, 1209 00:55:44,188 --> 00:55:47,988 transforming him into a classically tragic figure. 1210 00:55:47,992 --> 00:55:50,984 [Clapping] What do you think about that? 1211 00:55:51,036 --> 00:55:52,617 What do you think about this? 1212 00:55:54,130 --> 00:55:57,622 Don't take it personally that your writing's shit. 1213 00:55:57,676 --> 00:55:59,962 I thought the beginning was all right. 1214 00:55:59,971 --> 00:56:01,893 Fuck you. 1215 00:56:03,714 --> 00:56:04,829 You sure you're ready to do this? 1216 00:56:04,842 --> 00:56:06,867 I've been ready for two weeks. 1217 00:56:06,877 --> 00:56:08,902 We've only been dating for three. 1218 00:56:08,954 --> 00:56:13,846 I know. I know and trust me, I, I want to do it so badly, 1219 00:56:13,851 --> 00:56:16,979 but everything will change, you know? 1220 00:56:16,988 --> 00:56:18,910 - It's just that-- - It's sex, Dean. 1221 00:56:18,964 --> 00:56:20,647 We're adults. 1222 00:56:20,658 --> 00:56:22,011 Look, I like you and I want to be with you. 1223 00:56:22,067 --> 00:56:23,989 I don't see why things should change. 1224 00:56:25,862 --> 00:56:27,887 You like me? 1225 00:56:27,898 --> 00:56:29,627 Yeah. I do. 1226 00:56:31,368 --> 00:56:33,734 Well, then I think we should probably wait. 1227 00:56:33,738 --> 00:56:35,365 You know, fine. Whatever. 1228 00:56:35,414 --> 00:56:37,996 You ruined the moment anyways. 1229 00:56:41,285 --> 00:56:42,968 Up to this point, she's in the moment 1230 00:56:42,980 --> 00:56:44,402 and I am definitely in the moment. 1231 00:56:44,456 --> 00:56:46,174 You know, this is Romeo and Juliet. 1232 00:56:46,224 --> 00:56:47,407 That's pretty challenging material, 1233 00:56:47,418 --> 00:56:50,046 so I am prepared for the worst. 1234 00:56:50,095 --> 00:56:54,350 Drunk all and left no friendly drop to help me after. 1235 00:56:54,358 --> 00:56:56,223 I will kiss thy lips. 1236 00:56:56,227 --> 00:56:58,923 Haply some poison yet doth hang on them. 1237 00:56:58,929 --> 00:57:01,318 And she starts kissing me. But I mean, 1238 00:57:01,373 --> 00:57:03,728 for like a prolonged period of time. 1239 00:57:03,775 --> 00:57:06,892 I mean, like this chick is really enjoying it. 1240 00:57:06,945 --> 00:57:09,163 Or maybe she wasjust trying to get the poison? 1241 00:57:09,214 --> 00:57:11,728 Yeah, out of my kidneys, maybe? 1242 00:57:11,742 --> 00:57:14,905 I look to the first watchmen and I'm like, telepathically 1243 00:57:14,912 --> 00:57:18,268 just begging him to say his line. 1244 00:57:18,282 --> 00:57:20,944 Lead, boy! Which way? 1245 00:57:20,951 --> 00:57:22,873 Which he does, thank God. 1246 00:57:22,928 --> 00:57:25,886 Yea, noise? Then I'll be brief. 1247 00:57:25,890 --> 00:57:30,054 Except for this chick doesn't know what her last line is. 1248 00:57:30,061 --> 00:57:31,722 So we're just sitting there. 1249 00:57:31,729 --> 00:57:33,253 In silence. 1250 00:57:33,305 --> 00:57:35,921 I realize, fuck, I'm gonna have to tell this girl 1251 00:57:35,974 --> 00:57:36,929 her next line. 1252 00:57:36,975 --> 00:57:41,196 O happy dagger. 1253 00:57:41,246 --> 00:57:42,964 Luckily, she figures out what I'm trying to say. 1254 00:57:43,014 --> 00:57:44,732 She grabs the dagger and says, 1255 00:57:44,742 --> 00:57:46,801 O happy dagger! 1256 00:57:46,811 --> 00:57:51,475 This is my sheath; there rust, and let me die. 1257 00:57:51,523 --> 00:57:54,378 Stabs herself and collapses on top of me. Dead. 1258 00:57:54,426 --> 00:57:56,781 Thank God. 1259 00:57:56,828 --> 00:58:00,412 I would have, except for while she's on top of me, 1260 00:58:00,465 --> 00:58:05,482 she suddenly starts reaching fot I mea? 1261 00:58:05,537 --> 00:58:08,995 Yeah, she's like giving me the covert rub and tug 1262 00:58:08,999 --> 00:58:13,095 and I'm like please end this fucking play. 1263 00:58:13,145 --> 00:58:16,967 But as it continues, I hear the audience start to laugh. 1264 00:58:17,015 --> 00:58:19,870 I'm like, what the fuck are they laughing at? 1265 00:58:19,877 --> 00:58:25,304 [Laughter, applause] 1266 00:58:25,357 --> 00:58:28,144 ♪♪ 1267 00:58:28,193 --> 00:58:30,912 [inaudible laughter] 1268 00:58:36,867 --> 00:58:39,188 ♪♪ 1269 00:58:44,801 --> 00:58:46,996 Why don't you tell them the one about the Indian girl? 1270 00:58:49,346 --> 00:58:50,961 What? 1271 00:58:51,016 --> 00:58:53,974 Come on. The alley. The rooftop. The hard candy. 1272 00:58:53,978 --> 00:58:56,970 You remember? Or what about the post office story? 1273 00:58:56,981 --> 00:59:00,144 You know, the time you got the two stamps from that girl 1274 00:59:00,151 --> 00:59:01,539 you banged or what about the twins that you hooked up 1275 00:59:01,552 --> 00:59:06,114 What? I'm just saying. What's the big deal? 1276 00:59:06,164 --> 00:59:08,951 So you got a blow job from some indian chick. 1277 00:59:08,959 --> 00:59:13,350 Okay, you know what? Excuse me. 1278 00:59:13,405 --> 00:59:15,054 What the fuck is your problem? 1279 00:59:19,076 --> 00:59:22,125 Wait a minute. Wait. Wait, now who got a blow job? 1280 00:59:22,139 --> 00:59:24,004 Tess, would you wait a second? 1281 00:59:24,008 --> 00:59:28,399 Why, Dean? What the hell was that back there? 1282 00:59:28,412 --> 00:59:31,267 I don't know. I just-- You just what? 1283 00:59:33,123 --> 00:59:36,183 Do you have nothing to say to me? 1284 00:59:36,187 --> 00:59:38,451 Nothing? 1285 00:59:50,200 --> 00:59:55,570 [Keyboard typing] 1286 00:59:55,614 --> 00:59:57,093 [♪ sultry music ♪] 1287 00:59:57,107 --> 00:59:59,439 Whatcha working on? 1288 00:59:59,484 --> 01:00:02,237 Uh, just tossing around a new idea. 1289 01:00:02,287 --> 01:00:05,074 Feel like tossing me around? 1290 01:00:08,125 --> 01:00:10,548 Yeah, yeah you do. [Purrs] 1291 01:00:10,595 --> 01:00:12,415 Okay, so now that you've met all three 1292 01:00:12,464 --> 01:00:16,116 of your potential grooms, it's time to make 1293 01:00:16,167 --> 01:00:19,455 the biggest decision of your life. 1294 01:00:19,504 --> 01:00:22,223 So will it be groom one? 1295 01:00:22,274 --> 01:00:24,230 The former Olympian. 1296 01:00:24,276 --> 01:00:29,066 Or will it be groom two? The multi-millionaire. 1297 01:00:29,114 --> 01:00:34,472 Or will it be groom three. The self proclaimed geek 1298 01:00:34,478 --> 01:00:36,969 with thinning hair. 1299 01:00:36,981 --> 01:00:39,176 Well, I've given it some actual thought 1300 01:00:39,224 --> 01:00:41,078 and I would like to spend the rest of my life 1301 01:00:41,126 --> 01:00:43,276 with groom number three. 1302 01:00:43,328 --> 01:00:44,317 [Audience gasps] 1303 01:00:44,321 --> 01:00:46,516 - No way! - Holy shit! 1304 01:00:47,590 --> 01:00:49,217 Why'd she pick the dork? 1305 01:00:49,267 --> 01:00:53,089 Guy's a fucking toolbox. 1306 01:00:54,405 --> 01:00:58,193 These, ah, these parts, is... where's this thing? 1307 01:00:58,202 --> 01:01:01,626 Ah, these talks with the subway conductor were, 1308 01:01:01,639 --> 01:01:05,029 - I found-- - Weird, I know. 1309 01:01:05,083 --> 01:01:07,165 Inspired, I thought. 1310 01:01:09,279 --> 01:01:11,474 This is good stuff. 1311 01:01:11,523 --> 01:01:14,344 Stuff with the hair and the business 1312 01:01:14,351 --> 01:01:19,209 with the roommates is funny. 1313 01:01:19,264 --> 01:01:25,954 I think you have a good solid understanding of the craft. 1314 01:01:26,529 --> 01:01:29,953 You got a style. A voice. I like that. 1315 01:01:29,967 --> 01:01:34,461 It's a voice I'm interested in. 1316 01:01:34,471 --> 01:01:38,100 It's a voice that almost rings true. 1317 01:01:39,216 --> 01:01:41,434 What do you mean? 1318 01:01:41,486 --> 01:01:45,377 Well, this is supposed to be a story about a guy 1319 01:01:45,423 --> 01:01:47,072 who falls in love, right? 1320 01:01:47,125 --> 01:01:51,175 Jiminy crickets! If I'm gonna drop my twelve bucks 1321 01:01:51,188 --> 01:01:55,545 on a ticket, I should get, I mean, I deserve to at least 1322 01:01:55,559 --> 01:01:58,323 see him fall in love, no? 1323 01:01:58,329 --> 01:02:02,459 Well, uh, yeah, it's--you do. It's in there. 1324 01:02:02,507 --> 01:02:06,295 Oh, I must have missed that. 1325 01:02:06,344 --> 01:02:08,562 It's--yeah, it's subtle. 1326 01:02:08,572 --> 01:02:12,406 Why don't you point it out for me? 1327 01:02:26,397 --> 01:02:29,013 Give me a call when you find it, kid. 1328 01:02:31,761 --> 01:02:34,321 Fuck! 1329 01:02:34,331 --> 01:02:36,697 [Intercom] Next stop: Union Station. 1330 01:02:42,538 --> 01:02:46,770 Look, I love her, Pete. I do. 1331 01:02:46,777 --> 01:02:49,143 But she's making you miserable, my friend. 1332 01:02:49,187 --> 01:02:50,336 I know. 1333 01:02:51,147 --> 01:02:53,377 Maybe it's time for someone new. 1334 01:02:53,425 --> 01:02:56,679 Yeah, I hear ya. 1335 01:02:56,687 --> 01:03:00,043 Hey. We should have a party this weekend. 1336 01:03:00,098 --> 01:03:02,714 Last party in The Cave. 1337 01:03:02,767 --> 01:03:05,747 Huh? Come on, man. What do you say? 1338 01:03:05,804 --> 01:03:08,591 And do I invite Beth? 1339 01:03:08,599 --> 01:03:12,228 Invite Beth. By all means, invite Beth. 1340 01:03:12,277 --> 01:03:14,563 Have a good time with her if possible, 1341 01:03:14,571 --> 01:03:16,334 butjust do me a favor, okay? 1342 01:03:16,340 --> 01:03:18,296 Take a look around and see if anything sparks 1343 01:03:18,308 --> 01:03:19,707 your interest, you know? 1344 01:03:19,710 --> 01:03:21,063 Hey. 1345 01:03:26,282 --> 01:03:29,410 Hey I can't quite exactly tell you what I was thinking 1346 01:03:29,420 --> 01:03:32,275 and I know you think I sold you out 1347 01:03:32,289 --> 01:03:34,382 and I'm not worth a shit. And you know what? 1348 01:03:34,391 --> 01:03:37,087 You're probably right in thinking that. 1349 01:03:37,135 --> 01:03:40,354 I just came here to let you know that I know 1350 01:03:40,405 --> 01:03:44,830 I was wrong and I'm sorry. 1351 01:03:44,876 --> 01:03:46,457 I really am. 1352 01:03:52,842 --> 01:03:55,299 And I guess that's all I had to say. 1353 01:03:57,654 --> 01:03:59,508 You up for a party? 1354 01:04:01,158 --> 01:04:03,479 One last hurrah in The Cave? 1355 01:04:09,366 --> 01:04:13,086 ♪ Chris Reeder "Taking Over" ♪ 1356 01:04:16,406 --> 01:04:18,431 ♪♪ 1357 01:04:36,452 --> 01:04:37,316 Hug me. 1358 01:04:37,321 --> 01:04:38,413 What's wrong? 1359 01:04:38,463 --> 01:04:40,476 I look like hell. 1360 01:04:44,427 --> 01:04:46,122 - Hey, beauty. - Hi. 1361 01:04:47,404 --> 01:04:48,450 You know anybody here? 1362 01:04:48,506 --> 01:04:50,121 Nope. 1363 01:04:50,175 --> 01:04:51,324 Wanna dance? 1364 01:04:51,376 --> 01:04:52,331 Yes, please. 1365 01:04:56,547 --> 01:04:58,367 ♪♪ 1366 01:05:03,854 --> 01:05:05,503 Baby. 1367 01:05:12,563 --> 01:05:14,747 You guys look so great together. 1368 01:05:14,758 --> 01:05:18,182 Thank you. Um, almost two years. 1369 01:05:18,236 --> 01:05:20,522 It's so weird how quickly it all goes by. Right baby? 1370 01:05:20,531 --> 01:05:21,816 - So weird. Yeah. - Yeah. 1371 01:05:21,873 --> 01:05:22,885 Flies by. 1372 01:05:25,776 --> 01:05:27,391 I'm sorry. I always do this. 1373 01:05:27,445 --> 01:05:29,663 You know my, my therapist, she says that, uh... 1374 01:05:29,714 --> 01:05:31,602 large social gatherings bring out my insecurities 1375 01:05:31,608 --> 01:05:33,303 or something crazy like that. 1376 01:05:33,310 --> 01:05:34,538 Oh, you're in therapy? 1377 01:05:34,586 --> 01:05:35,905 Yeah, is that a problem? 1378 01:05:35,954 --> 01:05:38,605 Oh no. I just had no idea you were in therapy. 1379 01:05:38,656 --> 01:05:40,374 Can you stop saying it like that? 1380 01:05:40,425 --> 01:05:41,278 Like what? 1381 01:05:41,326 --> 01:05:42,441 Like all judgey? 1382 01:05:42,452 --> 01:05:43,908 Who's judgey? I'm notjudgey. 1383 01:05:43,921 --> 01:05:45,377 You totally are. I can see it in your eyes. 1384 01:05:45,389 --> 01:05:46,378 No, I'm not. 1385 01:05:46,390 --> 01:05:47,914 You are! 1386 01:05:49,566 --> 01:05:51,318 Maybe you should get some therapy to deal 1387 01:05:51,328 --> 01:05:52,920 with your insecurity about being in therapy? 1388 01:05:52,930 --> 01:05:54,454 Hmm, maybe you should fuck yourself. 1389 01:05:54,505 --> 01:05:56,553 Excuse me? 1390 01:05:56,567 --> 01:05:57,761 Baby, I'm sorry. That, oh, that wasn't me. 1391 01:05:57,768 --> 01:05:59,497 I'm so sorry. Come here, please. I'm sorry. 1392 01:05:59,544 --> 01:06:02,968 It's okay. It's fine. 1393 01:06:06,742 --> 01:06:07,936 What was that? 1394 01:06:07,986 --> 01:06:09,430 Just a pill. 1395 01:06:10,454 --> 01:06:12,445 ♪♪ 1396 01:06:12,449 --> 01:06:17,477 [inaudible dialogue] 1397 01:06:17,487 --> 01:06:23,517 ♪♪ 1398 01:06:23,527 --> 01:06:25,449 For our anniversary, we were thinking Cabo 1399 01:06:25,503 --> 01:06:27,255 or maybe Hawaii. 1400 01:06:27,305 --> 01:06:29,591 It really doesn't matter as long as it's tropical. 1401 01:06:29,600 --> 01:06:30,658 And he can golf. 1402 01:06:30,667 --> 01:06:31,554 Love golf. 1403 01:06:31,568 --> 01:06:38,531 ♪♪ 1404 01:06:38,583 --> 01:06:43,600 ♪♪ 1405 01:06:55,891 --> 01:06:57,916 Where are you going? 1406 01:06:57,928 --> 01:07:00,749 Uh, I was just going to let you rest. 1407 01:07:00,805 --> 01:07:02,523 But I don't need rest. 1408 01:07:02,532 --> 01:07:04,864 And we can start the whole night over. Okay? 1409 01:07:04,868 --> 01:07:06,495 We'll do anything you want. 1410 01:07:06,544 --> 01:07:08,592 Can we leave? 1411 01:07:11,415 --> 01:07:13,599 Sure. 1412 01:07:13,610 --> 01:07:17,501 What? Oh my God! That's so wonderful! 1413 01:07:17,555 --> 01:07:19,409 Isn't that great, baby? 1414 01:07:19,457 --> 01:07:20,879 Congratulations. 1415 01:07:24,594 --> 01:07:25,777 Shit. 1416 01:07:25,789 --> 01:07:27,518 Beth! Beth! 1417 01:07:34,297 --> 01:07:36,026 Andre! 1418 01:07:36,074 --> 01:07:38,656 Anna? 1419 01:07:38,669 --> 01:07:40,523 Who's this? 1420 01:07:40,578 --> 01:07:42,557 Uh, his girl. 1421 01:07:42,572 --> 01:07:44,563 Who the hell are you? 1422 01:07:44,615 --> 01:07:47,800 I'm Anna. His girl. 1423 01:07:47,811 --> 01:07:49,836 Anna! Anna! Wait! 1424 01:07:49,887 --> 01:07:51,536 Shit, wait! 1425 01:07:51,548 --> 01:07:53,504 [Speaking Spanish] 1426 01:07:53,558 --> 01:07:58,916 [♪ Neon Parade "Boys Will B Boyz" ♪] 1427 01:07:58,963 --> 01:08:05,584 ♪♪ 1428 01:08:10,675 --> 01:08:12,996 Hey, you okay? 1429 01:08:13,044 --> 01:08:14,523 Yeah, I'm fine. 1430 01:08:14,538 --> 01:08:15,994 I'm gonna go grab a drink. Okay? 1431 01:08:16,047 --> 01:08:18,527 And when I get back, just... 1432 01:08:18,583 --> 01:08:20,096 Okay? 1433 01:08:20,110 --> 01:08:25,377 ♪♪ 1434 01:08:25,423 --> 01:08:28,677 [♪ Golden State "Take Me Out" ♪] 1435 01:08:28,726 --> 01:08:30,546 [whispers] I'm sorry. 1436 01:08:30,595 --> 01:08:32,608 ♪♪ 1437 01:09:26,709 --> 01:09:28,665 [♪ song fades out ♪] 1438 01:09:28,678 --> 01:09:30,509 E. 1439 01:09:31,480 --> 01:09:33,846 [♪ Dance music ♪] 1440 01:09:38,621 --> 01:09:40,009 I gotta go. 1441 01:09:40,064 --> 01:09:42,521 Yeah, so do I. 1442 01:09:44,067 --> 01:09:46,558 Hey, you ready? 1443 01:09:46,604 --> 01:09:48,026 Are you? 1444 01:09:48,031 --> 01:09:49,794 Yeah, let's roll. 1445 01:09:49,800 --> 01:09:50,858 All right. 1446 01:09:54,970 --> 01:09:57,200 Huh. Where're they going? 1447 01:09:57,207 --> 01:09:59,596 I don't know where they're going. 1448 01:10:00,717 --> 01:10:02,639 Let's go. 1449 01:10:02,687 --> 01:10:08,910 ♪♪ 1450 01:10:23,807 --> 01:10:25,786 Let's go. Come on. 1451 01:10:33,717 --> 01:10:36,606 [Clears throat] Uh... 1452 01:10:36,654 --> 01:10:40,203 Did I, uh, did I ever tell you about the time in college 1453 01:10:40,217 --> 01:10:42,981 when I was with twins? 1454 01:10:43,027 --> 01:10:45,814 You know, I mean, it was weird because, I mean, 1455 01:10:45,822 --> 01:10:49,849 one of them had these just really beautiful tits 1456 01:10:49,860 --> 01:10:55,218 and you know, the other, she was flat as a pancake. 1457 01:10:55,232 --> 01:10:57,553 Which made me wonder, I mean, were they identical 1458 01:10:57,608 --> 01:10:59,758 or fraternal twins because I mean, yeah, sure they had 1459 01:10:59,769 --> 01:11:04,001 very similar faces, but their breasts 1460 01:11:04,007 --> 01:11:07,170 were completely different sizes. 1461 01:11:07,177 --> 01:11:08,769 [Clears throat] 1462 01:11:10,880 --> 01:11:12,643 Thanks, Jay. 1463 01:11:13,949 --> 01:11:15,905 Go get him. 1464 01:11:21,064 --> 01:11:23,180 I'm an idiot. 1465 01:11:23,234 --> 01:11:27,193 ♪♪ 1466 01:11:27,238 --> 01:11:29,786 [car engine starts] 1467 01:11:31,667 --> 01:11:33,726 Hey, are you okay? 1468 01:11:33,778 --> 01:11:36,099 Yeah, no. I'm fine. 1469 01:11:38,815 --> 01:11:42,865 [Muffled dance music] 1470 01:11:52,195 --> 01:11:54,117 Anna, wait. 1471 01:11:54,165 --> 01:11:55,985 Anna! Anna! Anna! Wait wait wait. 1472 01:11:55,992 --> 01:11:57,948 Andre, stop. I don't want to hear it, okay? 1473 01:11:57,961 --> 01:11:59,917 - Just listen for one second. - Stop. 1474 01:12:01,130 --> 01:12:02,154 Anna. 1475 01:12:02,206 --> 01:12:03,753 - LAX, please. - Anna, don't. 1476 01:12:03,767 --> 01:12:05,894 Don't do this. 1477 01:12:12,341 --> 01:12:14,002 [Car engine starts] 1478 01:12:14,010 --> 01:12:15,136 LAX? 1479 01:12:15,186 --> 01:12:16,335 Hi. 1480 01:12:16,387 --> 01:12:21,780 [Talk radio playing in cab] 1481 01:12:21,826 --> 01:12:22,269 Beth. 1482 01:12:22,326 --> 01:12:23,111 Let go. 1483 01:12:23,119 --> 01:12:24,609 Please just stop. 1484 01:12:24,621 --> 01:12:25,974 You are hurting me. 1485 01:12:25,989 --> 01:12:27,581 [Splashing] 1486 01:12:28,057 --> 01:12:29,354 Oh my! 1487 01:12:31,927 --> 01:12:36,352 [Splashing, Beth laughs] 1488 01:12:36,407 --> 01:12:38,693 Here! 1489 01:12:42,045 --> 01:12:43,865 [Beth yells, splashing] 1490 01:12:43,914 --> 01:12:47,702 [laughing] Oh my God! 1491 01:12:52,982 --> 01:12:54,108 Dean. 1492 01:12:54,158 --> 01:12:55,614 Yeah? 1493 01:12:57,319 --> 01:12:58,911 I love you. 1494 01:13:08,130 --> 01:13:11,827 [Intercom] Next stop: Union Station 1495 01:13:11,876 --> 01:13:14,333 You hear that voice, Dean? 1496 01:13:14,337 --> 01:13:16,032 What voice? 1497 01:13:16,039 --> 01:13:18,200 The voice in your head. 1498 01:13:18,208 --> 01:13:20,403 You mean you? 1499 01:13:20,410 --> 01:13:23,299 Exactly and what am I telling you to do? 1500 01:13:23,354 --> 01:13:26,369 [♪ Names of Stars "Are You" ♪] 1501 01:13:30,727 --> 01:13:32,752 ♪♪ 1502 01:14:20,102 --> 01:14:22,969 [Jay and woman giggle behind curtain] 1503 01:14:23,013 --> 01:14:24,230 Hey, guys? 1504 01:14:24,240 --> 01:14:27,801 [Giggling continues] 1505 01:14:27,811 --> 01:14:29,472 Tess, I need to speak with you. 1506 01:14:29,479 --> 01:14:32,971 [Giggling, moaning] 1507 01:14:32,982 --> 01:14:34,313 Shit. 1508 01:14:34,358 --> 01:14:36,406 No. Stop. 1509 01:14:36,419 --> 01:14:38,011 Dude. 1510 01:14:38,021 --> 01:14:40,478 Hey, I need to speak with Tess for a second. 1511 01:14:40,490 --> 01:14:42,720 That's great. Not here. 1512 01:14:42,767 --> 01:14:43,415 She's not? 1513 01:14:43,467 --> 01:14:46,755 Is he joining us? 1514 01:14:48,505 --> 01:14:51,895 Oh, thank God. 1515 01:14:54,470 --> 01:14:55,266 It frightens him. 1516 01:14:55,271 --> 01:14:57,330 ♪♪ 1517 01:15:12,395 --> 01:15:13,419 Hi. 1518 01:15:21,337 --> 01:15:23,419 So. 1519 01:15:23,474 --> 01:15:25,021 So. 1520 01:15:27,076 --> 01:15:31,069 So I take it things didn't go so hot for you and Jay? 1521 01:15:31,115 --> 01:15:33,163 Looks that way. 1522 01:15:33,217 --> 01:15:35,003 How about you and Kat? 1523 01:15:35,011 --> 01:15:38,811 Oh, you know. She told me she loved me. 1524 01:15:38,856 --> 01:15:40,972 And what'd you say? 1525 01:15:41,025 --> 01:15:44,142 I said thanks. 1526 01:15:44,195 --> 01:15:46,049 Thanks? 1527 01:15:46,096 --> 01:15:47,518 Thanks. 1528 01:15:47,565 --> 01:15:50,022 No thanks. 1529 01:15:50,067 --> 01:15:53,150 Yeah, I don't know. She just wasn't the one. 1530 01:15:53,204 --> 01:15:54,159 Too many issues, you know? 1531 01:15:54,205 --> 01:15:55,854 You or her? 1532 01:15:55,906 --> 01:15:57,089 What? I don't have issues. 1533 01:15:57,100 --> 01:15:58,124 Are you on crack? 1534 01:15:58,175 --> 01:16:00,154 Not at the moment. 1535 01:16:00,170 --> 01:16:02,126 First of all, you're self-abusive. 1536 01:16:02,138 --> 01:16:04,094 What? Like in what way? 1537 01:16:04,148 --> 01:16:06,400 Like in the way you love being miserable. 1538 01:16:06,409 --> 01:16:08,297 I don't think that's accurate. 1539 01:16:08,311 --> 01:16:09,938 Okay. You know, just keep living 1540 01:16:09,987 --> 01:16:12,137 in your fantasy world, Dean. 1541 01:16:12,148 --> 01:16:15,015 As if you don't have issues? 1542 01:16:15,018 --> 01:16:18,044 Miss look for the signs? Ooh, God. Look! The signs! 1543 01:16:18,095 --> 01:16:19,050 They're there. 1544 01:16:19,096 --> 01:16:21,052 I never said I didn't. 1545 01:16:21,057 --> 01:16:22,183 So you don't deny it? 1546 01:16:22,192 --> 01:16:24,251 No. I don't deny it. 1547 01:16:24,260 --> 01:16:26,251 So you're saying you have issues? 1548 01:16:26,303 --> 01:16:28,157 Have I told you how much I hate you? 1549 01:16:28,205 --> 01:16:30,025 You don't hate me. 1550 01:16:30,074 --> 01:16:32,360 No, really. I do. 1551 01:16:32,368 --> 01:16:34,495 You really hate me? 1552 01:16:34,545 --> 01:16:36,968 No, Dean. 1553 01:16:37,014 --> 01:16:39,096 I don't hate you. 1554 01:16:46,281 --> 01:16:48,078 Taxi! 1555 01:16:52,595 --> 01:16:56,315 That's my ride. 1556 01:17:03,398 --> 01:17:07,164 Okay. Goodnight then. 1557 01:17:20,282 --> 01:17:22,341 And well played. 1558 01:17:26,963 --> 01:17:33,084 [♪ Romantic music ♪] 1559 01:17:33,137 --> 01:17:35,093 Hey! Are those fresh? 1560 01:17:35,098 --> 01:17:37,293 Go get her, you idiot. 1561 01:17:37,300 --> 01:17:44,001 ♪♪ 1562 01:18:11,267 --> 01:18:13,997 No no no no. 1563 01:18:14,044 --> 01:18:15,966 Dammit. 1564 01:18:17,647 --> 01:18:19,330 Fuck. 1565 01:18:19,383 --> 01:18:21,203 [Tires screeching] 1566 01:18:21,210 --> 01:18:27,308 ♪♪ 1567 01:18:30,219 --> 01:18:32,278 What is this asshole doing? 1568 01:18:32,288 --> 01:18:34,210 What are you talking about? 1569 01:18:34,264 --> 01:18:36,448 ♪♪ 1570 01:18:36,459 --> 01:18:39,622 Um, I'm gonna. I wanna get out here, okay? 1571 01:18:39,629 --> 01:18:41,551 Here you go. Thank you. 1572 01:18:41,605 --> 01:18:47,464 ♪♪ 1573 01:18:59,623 --> 01:19:03,275 ♪♪ 1574 01:19:03,327 --> 01:19:07,479 Here. For dealing with my crap. 1575 01:19:09,257 --> 01:19:11,248 I'll take 'em. 1576 01:19:12,127 --> 01:19:15,085 I love you so much. 1577 01:19:15,098 --> 01:19:21,526 ♪♪ 1578 01:19:21,578 --> 01:19:25,571 [song fades out] 1579 01:19:41,590 --> 01:19:43,319 True story? 1580 01:19:44,834 --> 01:19:47,120 Just a story. 1581 01:19:55,470 --> 01:19:57,301 Ice cream! 1582 01:19:58,147 --> 01:20:01,366 [Wrestling, indistinct dialogue] 1583 01:20:01,377 --> 01:20:03,072 What the fuck are you gonna do? 1584 01:20:03,079 --> 01:20:05,104 I will fucking hump you right now. 1585 01:20:05,155 --> 01:20:08,204 [Laughs] Oh my God! 1586 01:20:22,130 --> 01:20:24,724 You think Jay is gonna be okay? 1587 01:20:28,377 --> 01:20:30,595 Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. I have to warn you. 1588 01:20:30,647 --> 01:20:32,831 I kinda went through an experimental phase. 1589 01:20:32,883 --> 01:20:36,364 No way. Me too. 1590 01:20:38,654 --> 01:20:40,645 Yeah, he'll be fine. 1591 01:20:40,650 --> 01:20:45,178 All right. Got everything? 1592 01:20:45,188 --> 01:20:47,349 Yeah. Definitely. 1593 01:20:50,859 --> 01:20:55,785 ♪♪ 1594 01:21:02,346 --> 01:21:04,325 [keyboard typing] 1595 01:21:04,340 --> 01:21:10,210 ♪♪ 1596 01:21:10,254 --> 01:21:15,374 ♪♪ 1597 01:21:15,425 --> 01:21:19,509 [♪ Name of Stars "This Place" ♪] 1598 01:21:19,522 --> 01:21:21,581 ♪♪ 1599 01:22:05,408 --> 01:22:07,421 ♪♪ 1600 01:22:10,839 --> 01:22:13,228 Yeah, you know, here's the thing about masturbation. 1601 01:22:13,242 --> 01:22:18,373 It is like a cookie, because at first you like it, 1602 01:22:18,381 --> 01:22:20,440 then you regret it, and kind of get a little farty. 1603 01:22:20,449 --> 01:22:22,906 Seriously? We're still filming this? 1604 01:22:22,919 --> 01:22:26,411 [Dean and Tess singing] Kie kissing my bro. 1605 01:22:26,463 --> 01:22:29,421 - Cause he is dead! - And he is dead! 1606 01:22:29,466 --> 01:22:30,478 - Woo! - [Blows raspberry] 1607 01:22:30,534 --> 01:22:34,391 Yep. It's that time. 1608 01:22:34,397 --> 01:22:36,627 Oh! 1609 01:22:36,673 --> 01:22:38,254 Really? 1610 01:22:38,267 --> 01:22:39,598 She's making you miserable, my friend. 1611 01:22:39,602 --> 01:22:42,560 I know. 1612 01:22:42,572 --> 01:22:44,494 [Laughs] 1613 01:22:44,507 --> 01:22:45,860 Guys, Kenny is schvitzing 1614 01:22:45,916 --> 01:22:48,635 like a "schvintagoyd" over here. 1615 01:22:48,685 --> 01:22:51,404 I'll do the crotch adjustment this time, sir. 1616 01:22:51,455 --> 01:22:53,434 [Crew] I don't know if we'llt unless you really-- 1617 01:22:53,449 --> 01:22:54,575 Oh, you'll see it. 1618 01:22:54,625 --> 01:22:56,673 [Laughs] 1619 01:22:57,419 --> 01:22:58,579 Oh! Ow! 1620 01:22:58,588 --> 01:23:02,979 First of all, I just clocked you. Are you okay? 1621 01:23:02,992 --> 01:23:05,358 - I'm fine. - Okay. 1622 01:23:07,937 --> 01:23:09,552 [Laughs] 1623 01:23:09,606 --> 01:23:12,723 Ah! I'm so close! I want a big one! 1624 01:23:12,776 --> 01:23:14,528 I want a really big one! Don't look at anything! 1625 01:23:14,578 --> 01:23:16,398 Don't--say something! Say something! 1626 01:23:16,446 --> 01:23:17,902 Don't say anything! Don't say anything! 1627 01:23:17,948 --> 01:23:19,802 Oh, where's the light. I see the light! 1628 01:23:19,809 --> 01:23:21,731 The tingles are coming! 1629 01:23:21,785 --> 01:23:24,572 Feel free to use that in your script, son. 1630 01:23:24,580 --> 01:23:26,445 Who wants a drink? Sweetheart, oh God, 1631 01:23:26,449 --> 01:23:27,643 you look lonely. 1632 01:23:27,650 --> 01:23:28,503 Cut! 1633 01:23:28,517 --> 01:23:30,781 [Laughter] 1634 01:23:30,827 --> 01:23:32,510 Guess what no is in Spanish? 1635 01:23:32,521 --> 01:23:33,374 What? 1636 01:23:33,389 --> 01:23:34,447 No! 1637 01:23:34,457 --> 01:23:36,618 [Indistinct dialogue] 1638 01:23:36,667 --> 01:23:38,623 Don't say anything! Don't say anything! 1639 01:23:38,628 --> 01:23:41,517 Stop moving your head! Stop it! Okay! 1640 01:23:41,530 --> 01:23:43,987 [Car door slams] 1641 01:23:44,000 --> 01:23:46,389 Vroom! Vroom! 1642 01:23:46,402 --> 01:23:47,357 - He won! - Uh huh. 1643 01:23:47,370 --> 01:23:47,961 Look at the guy that won! 1644 01:23:47,970 --> 01:23:48,766 [Creaking, screaming] 1645 01:23:48,771 --> 01:23:49,965 Cut! 1646 01:23:50,013 --> 01:23:52,368 Okay! 1647 01:23:52,416 --> 01:23:53,565 [Laughing] 1648 01:23:53,617 --> 01:23:55,539 Action! 1649 01:23:56,585 --> 01:23:57,609 You're... 1650 01:23:57,654 --> 01:23:58,973 What's the first line? 1651 01:23:58,981 --> 01:24:00,369 [Laughing] 1652 01:24:01,557 --> 01:24:03,809 - Move over. - Well, I just... 1653 01:24:03,819 --> 01:24:04,877 We could still like do other stuff. 1654 01:24:04,887 --> 01:24:05,683 No, no! There's-- 1655 01:24:05,688 --> 01:24:06,712 And, cut! 1656 01:24:06,763 --> 01:24:08,879 [Laughs] 1657 01:24:08,891 --> 01:24:11,883 Fuck you, Stan! It's like [indistinct] [trails off] 1658 01:24:11,935 --> 01:24:13,789 [laughs] 1659 01:24:16,105 --> 01:24:21,623 [singing] Do do do do do do... 1660 01:24:21,637 --> 01:24:22,490 Cut! 1661 01:24:22,546 --> 01:24:23,899 Please make me stop. 1662 01:24:23,947 --> 01:24:24,834 Get out of it! Get out of it! 1663 01:24:24,840 --> 01:24:25,693 Roll off! 1664 01:24:25,708 --> 01:24:26,663 What? 1665 01:24:26,717 --> 01:24:27,570 Roll it off. 1666 01:24:27,617 --> 01:24:30,006 Oh, oh. [Screams] 1667 01:24:30,053 --> 01:24:31,543 [exhales loudly] 1668 01:24:31,547 --> 01:24:32,605 Jesus. 1669 01:24:32,656 --> 01:24:33,338 And that's a wrap! 1670 01:24:33,349 --> 01:24:34,338 Cut. 1671 01:24:34,350 --> 01:24:36,011 [Laughs] 1672 01:24:36,018 --> 01:24:40,876 ♪♪ 1673 01:26:38,039 --> 01:26:40,803 [song ends] 113513

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