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[Victor] To lifeguard...
2
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:09,135
is to guard life.
3
00:00:09,218 --> 00:00:13,556
These trials will test
speed, strength...
4
00:00:14,974 --> 00:00:16,767
and your response to danger.
5
00:00:17,893 --> 00:00:20,688
Wearing the red swimsuit
is a privilege.
6
00:00:20,771 --> 00:00:23,607
We stand on
the sun-kissed shoulders
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00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:26,193
of the greats
who came before us:
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00:00:26,277 --> 00:00:27,820
Pamela Anderson.
9
00:00:27,903 --> 00:00:29,405
David Hasselhoff.
10
00:00:29,488 --> 00:00:31,991
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.
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00:00:32,074 --> 00:00:33,367
Yup.
12
00:00:33,451 --> 00:00:34,827
Are we ready?
13
00:00:36,203 --> 00:00:37,663
Set...
14
00:00:37,747 --> 00:00:39,206
[whistle trills]
15
00:00:39,290 --> 00:00:45,004
- [splashing]
- [yelling & cheering]
16
00:00:45,087 --> 00:00:47,006
Swim! Swim! Swim!
17
00:00:47,089 --> 00:00:49,967
- [man] Come on!
- Bring it, girls!
18
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:52,303
- Come on, girls, come on!
- Keep breathing!
19
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:55,222
[shouting continues]
20
00:00:55,306 --> 00:00:58,225
Why is everyone so amped for
lifeguarding certifications?
21
00:00:58,309 --> 00:01:00,603
'Cause, man!
Lifeguards rule the beach.
22
00:01:00,686 --> 00:01:03,147
They got the cash,
they got the bods,
23
00:01:03,230 --> 00:01:05,274
they got unlimited access
to the Boathouse.
24
00:01:05,357 --> 00:01:06,942
I'm sorry,
were you a lifeguard?
25
00:01:07,026 --> 00:01:09,236
No. My love handles
and Maisy being captain
26
00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:12,031
- meant that was never to be.
- You barely sound bitter.
27
00:01:12,114 --> 00:01:14,825
Yeah, I know. I need
a new emotional diuretic.
28
00:01:14,909 --> 00:01:17,536
But we're celebrating,
because of Ulrika and the board
29
00:01:17,620 --> 00:01:19,663
are voting against
Maisy's reno.
30
00:01:19,747 --> 00:01:23,417
- So you finally beat Maisy!
- Yes, but ladies don't brag.
31
00:01:23,501 --> 00:01:24,877
[chuckling]
32
00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:26,420
Come on, Killian!
33
00:01:27,630 --> 00:01:29,757
Come on, girls!
Haul ass!
34
00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:31,383
Go hard!
35
00:01:31,467 --> 00:01:33,260
That should be you out there.
36
00:01:33,344 --> 00:01:36,263
Oh, I know. I'm three seconds
faster than Killian.
37
00:01:36,347 --> 00:01:38,849
- Yes, you are.
- But he can have it this year.
38
00:01:40,017 --> 00:01:41,602
"This year"?
39
00:01:41,685 --> 00:01:43,312
As in,
there's gonna be a next year?
40
00:01:43,395 --> 00:01:45,189
Ah, I don't know.
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00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:47,358
There's no sport
in beating the Quads.
42
00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:49,151
- Mmm?
- And if you run Maisy
43
00:01:49,235 --> 00:01:51,695
off the lake,
Killian goes too.
44
00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:53,364
He's a part of the set.
45
00:01:55,533 --> 00:01:56,700
Fine.
46
00:01:56,784 --> 00:01:58,702
When I get the cottage,
47
00:01:58,786 --> 00:02:00,704
we will workshop
your cottage-share idea.
48
00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:02,665
- For real?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
49
00:02:02,748 --> 00:02:04,828
You're making me a better
person and it's disgusting.
50
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,878
[gasps] It looks like
Killian's leading.
51
00:02:07,962 --> 00:02:09,442
- I'm gonna go watch up close.
- Okay.
52
00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:12,299
I was so stanning
her and Olive...
53
00:02:12,383 --> 00:02:14,093
I want to introduce
you to someone.
54
00:02:14,176 --> 00:02:16,804
This is Gilson Fishburne,
our local county councillor.
55
00:02:16,887 --> 00:02:18,764
- [Justin] Oh.
- And he's running for mayor.
56
00:02:18,848 --> 00:02:21,100
- Oh!
- This is Justin Lovejoy,
57
00:02:21,183 --> 00:02:23,435
my stepfather's son.
58
00:02:23,519 --> 00:02:25,312
- Yeah, hello.
- Gil.
59
00:02:25,396 --> 00:02:27,731
- Gil "The Thrill."
- Oh, dear.
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00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:30,818
Will you be joining us tonight
at Maisy's farmhouse cookout?
61
00:02:31,694 --> 00:02:33,737
- ...Farmhouse cookout?
- Yeah, I thought
62
00:02:33,821 --> 00:02:35,573
it would be a fun theme
for a fundraiser.
63
00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:37,825
I'm also helping
with Gil's campaign.
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00:02:37,908 --> 00:02:40,411
And I'm learning so much
about local law.
65
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:44,582
Like, a farmhouse can actually
be bulldozed without a permit!
66
00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:46,709
And architecture
is so subjective.
67
00:02:46,792 --> 00:02:49,295
Who's to say what's a cottage,
what's a farmhouse?
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00:02:49,378 --> 00:02:51,881
Actually, I do.
I make that decision.
69
00:02:51,964 --> 00:02:55,342
- [laughing]
- Yes, yes you do!
70
00:02:55,426 --> 00:02:57,595
[forced laughter]
71
00:02:57,678 --> 00:03:01,181
So how does our new Boathouse
president feel about this idea?
72
00:03:01,265 --> 00:03:03,934
Ulrika gave us
the green thumbs-up.
73
00:03:04,018 --> 00:03:06,020
- Oh!
- [Maisy] Yes! It turns out
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00:03:06,103 --> 00:03:08,063
some of her garden's
more exotic crops
75
00:03:08,147 --> 00:03:09,773
don't have
the necessary paperwork,
76
00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:13,402
but Gil here was kind enough
to let that slide.
77
00:03:13,485 --> 00:03:14,778
Glad I could be of help.
78
00:03:15,446 --> 00:03:17,197
Well, it's an election year.
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00:03:17,281 --> 00:03:19,116
Gotta go press some flesh.
80
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:22,077
- Interesting choice of words.
- [Gil] That's right. Bye.
81
00:03:22,161 --> 00:03:23,913
[Maisy] Take care.
82
00:03:23,996 --> 00:03:26,332
That's why you gave Ulrika
your spot in the election!
83
00:03:26,415 --> 00:03:28,393
That's why you did it,
because you knew that you could
84
00:03:28,417 --> 00:03:30,336
use Gil to screw her.
But if you lost to Wayne,
85
00:03:30,419 --> 00:03:32,046
you would've actually
been screwed. Ha!
86
00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:33,815
- Uh, whoa! I just...
- [Victor] And our new
87
00:03:33,839 --> 00:03:37,134
Junior Lifeguard:
Killian Lin!
88
00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:39,428
- [all cheering]
- [screaming] No!
89
00:03:39,511 --> 00:03:41,847
- Way to go, baby! Woo!
- [clapping]
90
00:03:41,931 --> 00:03:43,211
[Victor] Oh,
I'm so proud of you!
91
00:03:44,266 --> 00:03:46,101
Oh, come to
the cookout tonight.
92
00:03:46,185 --> 00:03:49,355
It'll be fun! We'll be
celebrating Killian's victory.
93
00:03:50,481 --> 00:03:53,484
And... mine too, I guess!
94
00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:56,820
She always wins.
95
00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:59,031
She always fucking wins!
96
00:04:00,115 --> 00:04:06,497
[easygoing pop music]
97
00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:10,542
Killian Lin!
You are now a Junior Lifeguard.
98
00:04:10,626 --> 00:04:12,795
Here are the keys
to the Boathouse.
99
00:04:12,878 --> 00:04:14,880
You are guarding the Bifrost
100
00:04:14,964 --> 00:04:17,007
so that only
true heroes may enter!
101
00:04:17,091 --> 00:04:19,301
Also Riley,
he has a spare set.
102
00:04:19,385 --> 00:04:22,680
I'll guard them
with my... uh, Thor.
103
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:23,806
- Good!
- [laughs]
104
00:04:24,974 --> 00:04:27,726
The Boathouse's first
Chinese-Canadian
105
00:04:27,810 --> 00:04:30,562
Junior Lifeguard!
I'm so proud of you!
106
00:04:30,646 --> 00:04:34,108
My boy's breaking barriers like
his dad broke bones on the ice!
107
00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:38,838
[Killian] Okay, I'm gonna go
hang out with Billie now.
108
00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:40,739
You're coming with me!
109
00:04:40,823 --> 00:04:43,742
Don't be late for the cookout!
You're the guest of honour.
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00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:47,079
- Bravo!
- So, how much did this
111
00:04:47,162 --> 00:04:48,831
little farmhouse loophole
cost us, babe?
112
00:04:48,914 --> 00:04:51,667
I offered my services as
an expert brand manager
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00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:53,210
for Gil's campaign!
114
00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:55,212
And the cash for
one of our bathrooms.
115
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:56,922
The one with the butt fountain?
116
00:04:57,006 --> 00:04:59,550
It's called a bidet, honey.
It's French.
117
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:01,719
[Victor] Ugh!
Can't we lose something else?
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00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:03,303
The sauna?
119
00:05:03,387 --> 00:05:05,764
You know my hockey injuries
are only soothed
120
00:05:05,848 --> 00:05:07,725
by steam and
Alaskan yellow cedar.
121
00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:10,436
- [Maisy] Right.
- How about Opal's walk-in?
122
00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:12,104
Only if you're
the one to tell him.
123
00:05:13,856 --> 00:05:15,774
- [Maisy sighs]
- This is Justin's fault.
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00:05:15,858 --> 00:05:18,318
He cost me the election.
125
00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:21,947
Stay frosty.
126
00:05:22,031 --> 00:05:25,617
♪
127
00:05:25,701 --> 00:05:29,413
[Justin]
Where the frick are my carbs?
128
00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:31,623
- [rustling]
- [gasps]
129
00:05:31,707 --> 00:05:33,459
[exhales]
130
00:05:33,542 --> 00:05:35,878
- [bag crinkling]
- I wouldn't.
131
00:05:35,961 --> 00:05:37,713
It's been a really
rough morning.
132
00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:39,607
Those... those have been there
since before my time.
133
00:05:39,631 --> 00:05:40,674
[Justin crunches]
134
00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:47,181
Want some sour cream
and listeria chips?
135
00:05:48,307 --> 00:05:51,268
No. And why are
we eating our feelings?
136
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,729
- [groans]
- Because,
137
00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:56,148
my stepsister is gonna
bulldoze my family cottage
138
00:05:56,231 --> 00:05:58,233
and there's nothing
I can do about it.
139
00:05:58,317 --> 00:06:01,612
I'm sorry. That... sucks.
140
00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:03,906
Yeah, it sucks.
Everything sucks.
141
00:06:03,989 --> 00:06:05,109
[Grindr notification chimes]
142
00:06:06,408 --> 00:06:08,869
Whoopsie.
I swear, I turned Grindr off
143
00:06:08,952 --> 00:06:11,997
- when I came up to the lake.
- Never turn it off.
144
00:06:12,081 --> 00:06:13,874
Slim pickings up here.
145
00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:15,000
What's your handle?
146
00:06:15,959 --> 00:06:17,711
JustinTimbersnake91.
147
00:06:17,795 --> 00:06:19,421
- [laughs] Okay.
- Yours?
148
00:06:19,505 --> 00:06:20,964
Riley.
149
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:22,758
That tracks.
150
00:06:22,841 --> 00:06:24,093
[Grindr notification chimes]
151
00:06:25,344 --> 00:06:27,096
What did I say?
152
00:06:27,179 --> 00:06:30,140
Shall we see what horny
truckers seek our company?
153
00:06:32,184 --> 00:06:33,560
- Huh.
- Ah...
154
00:06:33,644 --> 00:06:35,813
[Justin] Bold choice,
posting his age.
155
00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:38,148
No, that's 4-3.
156
00:06:38,232 --> 00:06:40,692
- Dude's into threesomes.
- Oh...
157
00:06:40,776 --> 00:06:42,816
And "Mayor_Naise" is because
he's running for mayor.
158
00:06:44,947 --> 00:06:47,032
Did you hook up
with that Gil guy?
159
00:06:47,116 --> 00:06:49,201
- Ish. Ish!
- [groaning]
160
00:06:49,284 --> 00:06:51,078
Again, very small pool.
161
00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:53,956
- Oh, God!
- Hey, no, no, no! No.
162
00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:55,499
You're okay.
163
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:57,084
Do you want some real carbs?
164
00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:58,252
Always.
165
00:06:58,335 --> 00:07:00,295
I know the perfect place.
166
00:07:00,379 --> 00:07:02,840
You are fierce.
You're an animal!
167
00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:04,651
- [camera shutter clicking]
- You devour your prey
168
00:07:04,675 --> 00:07:06,277
and wait 30 minutes
before getting in the water.
169
00:07:06,301 --> 00:07:08,011
[both laughing]
170
00:07:10,013 --> 00:07:12,182
You know, you'll have to
watch your back next year.
171
00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:13,600
I'm thinking of trying out.
172
00:07:13,684 --> 00:07:15,352
That's if we're back next year.
173
00:07:16,353 --> 00:07:18,355
The new cottage
may not be finished yet.
174
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,232
- Your reno's back on?
- [Killian] Yeah.
175
00:07:20,315 --> 00:07:22,192
But I thought
the Boathouse Board nixed it.
176
00:07:22,276 --> 00:07:25,696
Nope. Mom found a loophole
because she's obsessed.
177
00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,489
It just sucks.
178
00:07:27,573 --> 00:07:29,491
My whole life's been
moving city to city
179
00:07:29,575 --> 00:07:31,535
'cause of my dad's hockey.
180
00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:33,763
Grandpa Derek's cottage was the
only place that never changed.
181
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:34,913
[sad chuckle]
182
00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:37,416
- Yeah.
- I'm sorry.
183
00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:40,711
[Ulrika] Ugh. Lifeguard!
184
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:44,339
Please. Go down to the beach
and get the other coolers
185
00:07:44,423 --> 00:07:46,425
and bring them to
the Lifeguard Lounge.
186
00:07:46,508 --> 00:07:49,803
[grunts] Someone is coming to
test these fish in the morning.
187
00:07:49,887 --> 00:07:52,431
- Skynda! Please.
- Okay.
188
00:07:52,514 --> 00:07:54,433
[whispers] Uh, hey!
Hang later?
189
00:07:54,516 --> 00:07:55,809
Yeah.
190
00:08:02,566 --> 00:08:04,401
What are the fish
being tested for?
191
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:05,569
[Ulrika] Herpes.
192
00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:08,989
There's an outbreak
over on Selkie Lake.
193
00:08:09,072 --> 00:08:11,408
We must act quickly to
make sure that the infection
194
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:13,493
has not spread
to our fish stocks.
195
00:08:13,577 --> 00:08:15,829
What happens if
our fish have herpes?
196
00:08:15,913 --> 00:08:17,873
Do they call every fish
they've ever spawned with?
197
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:23,253
No, we stop all activity
that slows the lake's recovery.
198
00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:28,175
Weeks of boats, waterskiing,
roadwork, construction...
199
00:08:28,258 --> 00:08:30,093
- Construction?
- [Ulrika] Mm-hmm.
200
00:08:30,177 --> 00:08:33,347
Oh, and fish communicate
with farts, not phones.
201
00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:35,641
How would they text
with their tiny little fins?
202
00:08:37,476 --> 00:08:40,854
[footsteps receding]
203
00:08:42,814 --> 00:08:44,524
Fishing?
204
00:08:44,608 --> 00:08:46,109
Selkie Lake?
205
00:08:48,737 --> 00:08:53,742
♪ So don't tell me
to shut my eyes ♪
206
00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:56,495
♪ I'm not a girl ♪
207
00:08:59,831 --> 00:09:02,417
♪ Not yet a woman ♪
208
00:09:04,127 --> 00:09:05,879
[Jayne, whispering]
You and gluten...
209
00:09:05,963 --> 00:09:07,798
why can't I quit you?
210
00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:10,425
Hey, Jayne. Doin' okay?
211
00:09:10,509 --> 00:09:12,636
Everything was fine
until you showed up.
212
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:14,429
Putting ideas in my head.
213
00:09:14,513 --> 00:09:16,223
"Why don't you
run against Maisy?"
214
00:09:16,306 --> 00:09:17,808
"Why did you settle for Wayne?"
215
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:20,310
- I never said that...
- "Summer of Jayne"?
216
00:09:20,394 --> 00:09:22,145
This is summer of pain.
217
00:09:23,188 --> 00:09:25,565
My girls will never
make lifeguard captain now.
218
00:09:26,525 --> 00:09:28,110
Not with Killian lapping them.
219
00:09:28,193 --> 00:09:30,570
[whispers] I won't let her
take it from us.
220
00:09:30,654 --> 00:09:33,323
The next time I see Maisy,
I'm gonna tell her...
221
00:09:33,407 --> 00:09:36,952
- Tell her what, Jayner?
- How excited I am
222
00:09:37,035 --> 00:09:39,705
for Maisy's cookout tonight!
I'm gonna make my crab cakes.
223
00:09:39,788 --> 00:09:42,040
- Everyone loves them.
- Lookin' forward to it.
224
00:09:42,124 --> 00:09:44,793
Touch less cilantro this time,
okay, Jayner?
225
00:09:44,876 --> 00:09:47,504
Hey, would you mind giving
J-spot and I a hot sec?
226
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:50,215
Nailing down that gay vote,
hardest part of the campaign.
227
00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:54,011
- Cost me my presidency.
- Ooh.
228
00:09:56,305 --> 00:09:58,265
You know I can't vote, right?
229
00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:00,809
The only vote I want
from you is...
230
00:10:00,892 --> 00:10:04,521
[imitating Grindr notification]
Vrrt. Vrrt. Vrrt.
231
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:06,523
You tappin' back, Timbersnake?
232
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:08,286
- [scoffs]
- Why don't you tap Maisy's ass?
233
00:10:08,358 --> 00:10:09,901
You're already
way the hell up there.
234
00:10:09,985 --> 00:10:11,945
Oh, meow!
Kitty likes to scratch.
235
00:10:12,029 --> 00:10:13,613
[hisses]
236
00:10:13,697 --> 00:10:15,574
I see why Maisy
brought in my big guns.
237
00:10:15,657 --> 00:10:17,367
- Oh...
- I see it all the time
238
00:10:17,451 --> 00:10:20,120
up here, J-spot. One kid
wants to knock the cabin down,
239
00:10:20,203 --> 00:10:22,039
the other one wants
to turn it into a museum,
240
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:24,750
and here's poor little Gil.
241
00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:27,336
Actually not so little,
and surprisingly attentive...
242
00:10:27,419 --> 00:10:29,338
- [quietly] Oh, God.
- Stuck in the middle,
243
00:10:29,421 --> 00:10:31,381
and all I want is
what's best for the lake.
244
00:10:31,465 --> 00:10:35,052
Okay. Well, as if you haven't
already made up your mind, Gil.
245
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:37,721
I'm currently fielding
several counteroffers.
246
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:40,140
Well, I don't have
Maisy's kind of cash.
247
00:10:40,223 --> 00:10:42,351
I take other currency.
248
00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:48,398
- I mean sex...
- Yes, that was clear.
249
00:10:49,274 --> 00:10:51,360
Thank you, but I have a date,
250
00:10:51,443 --> 00:10:53,695
and I don't want to make
any early withdrawals,
251
00:10:53,779 --> 00:10:55,739
if you know what I mean,
in case it goes well.
252
00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:57,824
If you include Riley,
we got a done deal.
253
00:10:57,908 --> 00:10:59,451
How did you know it was Riley?
254
00:10:59,534 --> 00:11:02,412
Gay-P-S.
Keeping the community together.
255
00:11:02,496 --> 00:11:04,039
- You wanna stick it to Maisy?
- Yeah.
256
00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:05,725
- I get to stick it to you.
- [hushed] What?
257
00:11:05,749 --> 00:11:07,250
And then you're gonna
stick it to me,
258
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:08,960
and then I'm going to
stick it to Riley.
259
00:11:09,044 --> 00:11:10,646
We don't have to decide
the order right now.
260
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:11,838
Do we have a deal?
261
00:11:13,507 --> 00:11:15,592
[exhales]
262
00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:17,302
Let's make a manwich!
263
00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,055
Don't do it.
264
00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:24,226
♪
265
00:11:24,309 --> 00:11:26,186
I think we may have a problem.
266
00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:28,855
Gil was all over
Justin this morning.
267
00:11:28,939 --> 00:11:30,732
We may have to prepare
for contingencies.
268
00:11:30,816 --> 00:11:32,150
Like?
269
00:11:32,234 --> 00:11:33,527
The juicing island.
270
00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:34,986
But we've already
given so much!
271
00:11:35,070 --> 00:11:36,780
I know, I know! I...
272
00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:39,908
Well, Gil does
take other currencies.
273
00:11:39,991 --> 00:11:42,494
Bitcoin? Stock options?
274
00:11:42,577 --> 00:11:44,246
Livestock.
275
00:11:44,329 --> 00:11:46,623
A blue chip,
like an ex-pro hockey player,
276
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:49,126
may tip the balance
if we need to counter.
277
00:11:50,794 --> 00:11:52,879
It's no different
than the strap-on!
278
00:11:52,963 --> 00:11:54,297
It's just like we practiced.
279
00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:57,050
Listen, no pain, no stain.
280
00:11:57,134 --> 00:11:58,885
Right?
281
00:11:58,969 --> 00:12:00,929
♪
282
00:12:03,014 --> 00:12:06,935
Well, you are the cutest
fisherwoman I have ever seen!
283
00:12:07,018 --> 00:12:09,771
And that is the gayest plaid
I've ever seen.
284
00:12:09,855 --> 00:12:12,107
- [laughing]
- [phone ringing]
285
00:12:12,190 --> 00:12:13,608
[gasps]
286
00:12:13,692 --> 00:12:15,610
- Hi!
- Hi!
287
00:12:15,694 --> 00:12:17,237
Oh, someone's in a good mood!
288
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:19,114
I'm going fishing
with a friend.
289
00:12:19,197 --> 00:12:21,783
- [Naomi] Is that code?
- No, actual fishing.
290
00:12:21,867 --> 00:12:25,871
- No fishiness on my watch.
- And who is this friend?
291
00:12:25,954 --> 00:12:28,248
Oh, just her cousin.
Totally age-appropriate.
292
00:12:28,331 --> 00:12:30,750
- [Billie] Justin!
- I will give you some privacy.
293
00:12:30,834 --> 00:12:33,545
- It was lovely to see you.
- [Oliver] Okay, bye, Justin!
294
00:12:33,628 --> 00:12:35,338
[parents giggling]
295
00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:37,883
Can I get some advice on
something? I have a quandary.
296
00:12:37,966 --> 00:12:40,594
Oh, yes, please.
We love a good quandary.
297
00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:42,721
Okay, so they're gonna
destroy something
298
00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:45,974
- that's always been here.
- [Naomi] Like old-growth trees?
299
00:12:46,057 --> 00:12:48,643
Totally, that.
So, where do we, like,
300
00:12:48,727 --> 00:12:50,896
stand on doing something
a little wrong
301
00:12:50,979 --> 00:12:54,149
to save something
like old-growth trees?
302
00:12:54,232 --> 00:12:56,985
- We stand with you.
- Fight big lumber!
303
00:12:57,068 --> 00:12:58,737
Billie Bear,
I wish you could be here.
304
00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:01,281
- The sushi is so good.
- [chuckles]
305
00:13:01,364 --> 00:13:02,616
- Ready?
- Uh-huh.
306
00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:04,242
Mmm!
307
00:13:04,326 --> 00:13:06,411
Hey, did you know that
fish can get herpes?
308
00:13:08,747 --> 00:13:10,874
- Have fun in Kyoto!
- [smooches]
309
00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:17,130
♪
310
00:13:17,214 --> 00:13:19,883
Oh, boy. Your dry cleaner's
gonna love you.
311
00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:23,136
[Killian laughs]
What... you were serious.
312
00:13:23,220 --> 00:13:25,472
I thought fishing
was code or something.
313
00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:28,350
Why does everybody think that?
I'm very literal.
314
00:13:28,433 --> 00:13:32,521
Here, let me help you. Which...
315
00:13:32,604 --> 00:13:34,814
- For you.
- Thank you.
316
00:13:34,898 --> 00:13:36,650
I better show you
how to cast, then.
317
00:13:37,859 --> 00:13:40,570
Okay, so first,
you've gotta pick the lure.
318
00:13:41,738 --> 00:13:44,741
Actually, no...
319
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,493
let the lure pick you.
320
00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:50,956
I watched some
YouTube tutorials.
321
00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:53,458
♪
322
00:13:53,542 --> 00:13:55,252
[moans]
323
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:56,378
[Justin] Oh, my God.
324
00:13:57,420 --> 00:13:58,964
Fuck keto!
325
00:13:59,047 --> 00:14:01,633
- Do you two need to be alone?
- Don't judge me.
326
00:14:01,716 --> 00:14:03,218
[phone chimes]
327
00:14:03,301 --> 00:14:06,137
Oh! It's gonna be Billie.
328
00:14:06,221 --> 00:14:08,098
She's very, very in...
329
00:14:09,558 --> 00:14:12,018
invested in our date.
330
00:14:12,102 --> 00:14:13,770
How is that whole...
331
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,647
kind-of-being-a-dad
thing going?
332
00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:18,275
I don't know. Kinda weird.
333
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,068
Kinda good.
334
00:14:20,151 --> 00:14:22,111
It's just the most time
we've ever spent together.
335
00:14:22,821 --> 00:14:23,905
[Riley] She's a cool kid.
336
00:14:24,781 --> 00:14:27,492
- Very together.
- She is.
337
00:14:27,576 --> 00:14:30,495
Very together. Too together.
I sometimes worry, like,
338
00:14:30,579 --> 00:14:32,539
"Adderall valedictorian"
together.
339
00:14:32,622 --> 00:14:35,292
But listen,
I am way too fresh and dewy
340
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:37,210
to be some
baby-bjorn-gayby-daddy who's
341
00:14:37,294 --> 00:14:39,438
just droning on about his kids.
I wanna know about you.
342
00:14:39,462 --> 00:14:40,880
So what's Riley about,
besides being
343
00:14:40,964 --> 00:14:43,091
the handiest man on the lake?
344
00:14:43,174 --> 00:14:45,635
I just do all that
to support my photography.
345
00:14:45,719 --> 00:14:47,971
Okay! She's an artiste, huh?
346
00:14:48,054 --> 00:14:50,599
So, what do you shoot?
Like, landscapes?
347
00:14:50,682 --> 00:14:52,767
Portraits?
348
00:14:52,851 --> 00:14:57,063
I use roadkill to recreate
iconic crime scenes from CSI.
349
00:14:57,147 --> 00:15:01,234
I call it "RKI:
Roadkill Investigations."
350
00:15:01,318 --> 00:15:03,194
Is that, like,
fan fic, or, like...
351
00:15:04,487 --> 00:15:06,156
like, fur fic?
352
00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:08,658
It's to bring awareness
to the animals' deaths.
353
00:15:08,742 --> 00:15:10,493
- Yeah.
- [Justin] Okay.
354
00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:11,661
[Riley] Speeding kills.
355
00:15:12,996 --> 00:15:14,539
It's actually why
I brought you here.
356
00:15:14,623 --> 00:15:16,541
This is where I scout
most of my models.
357
00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:18,710
Hmm...
358
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:21,630
- Wow.
- [phone chimes]
359
00:15:21,713 --> 00:15:24,007
Uh...
360
00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:25,133
Great.
361
00:15:26,885 --> 00:15:29,304
So, uh, what's your, um...
362
00:15:29,387 --> 00:15:32,265
what's your spicy
Mayor_Naise story, huh?
363
00:15:32,349 --> 00:15:34,434
I met him.
Kind of cute in, like,
364
00:15:34,517 --> 00:15:36,394
a hot-for-vice-principal
sort of way.
365
00:15:37,395 --> 00:15:39,856
I almost hooked up
with him and his husband.
366
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,900
- Oh!
- But, uh,
367
00:15:41,983 --> 00:15:44,361
Joe Rogaine there didn't
tell his hus-bear at first.
368
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:46,154
[Justin] Yikes.
369
00:15:46,237 --> 00:15:48,490
Which is why I prefer
sex parties over threesomes.
370
00:15:48,573 --> 00:15:49,949
- [phone chimes]
- [Justin] Yeah.
371
00:15:50,033 --> 00:15:51,534
[Riley]
It's far more democratic.
372
00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:53,538
Sure. Yeah. You've gotta
get the democracy going.
373
00:15:56,331 --> 00:15:57,957
Billie wants a picture
of the food truck.
374
00:15:58,041 --> 00:15:59,668
Do you wanna
take a selfie with me?
375
00:15:59,751 --> 00:16:01,294
Sure.
376
00:16:04,923 --> 00:16:06,174
[camera shutter clicks]
377
00:16:07,092 --> 00:16:08,426
She's gonna love it.
378
00:16:12,263 --> 00:16:15,684
Our presence is being
requested at Maisy's cookout.
379
00:16:15,767 --> 00:16:17,310
What do you mean?
You want to go now?
380
00:16:17,394 --> 00:16:19,813
Well, the sooner
we make an appearance...
381
00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:21,147
the sooner we can leave.
382
00:16:21,231 --> 00:16:22,357
Okay.
383
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:24,150
♪
384
00:16:24,234 --> 00:16:26,986
Okay. Yeah. I'll just, um...
385
00:16:27,070 --> 00:16:28,863
We gotta... we gotta leave.
386
00:16:28,947 --> 00:16:30,990
We gotta go.
We're gonna do this.
387
00:16:33,702 --> 00:16:35,537
Yeah, just start the car.
388
00:16:35,620 --> 00:16:38,289
[water splashing]
389
00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:40,375
Are those sores?
390
00:16:41,376 --> 00:16:42,919
Gross. Let's toss it back...
391
00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:45,296
- Oh, wait, no. I need it!
- [Killian] For what?
392
00:16:45,380 --> 00:16:46,965
[Billie] To, uh...
393
00:16:47,048 --> 00:16:48,717
find a cure.
394
00:16:49,551 --> 00:16:50,719
For fish herpes?
395
00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:52,387
Mm-hmm.
396
00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:54,222
There's not even
a cure for human herpes.
397
00:16:54,305 --> 00:16:57,308
Which is why we owe it
to the mouth sore community
398
00:16:57,392 --> 00:16:59,561
to explore all forms
of the disease.
399
00:16:59,644 --> 00:17:00,895
The cure is out there.
400
00:17:03,064 --> 00:17:04,649
- [laughs]
- What...
401
00:17:04,733 --> 00:17:06,317
I'm trying to make it
look like our lake
402
00:17:06,401 --> 00:17:07,861
was infected with herpes.
403
00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:09,779
Ulrika said if
the fish had herpes,
404
00:17:09,863 --> 00:17:11,573
construction on
the lake would stop.
405
00:17:11,656 --> 00:17:15,076
And I know how much
our grandpa's... ew...
406
00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:18,997
your grandpa's cottage
means to you.
407
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:21,082
I thought maybe
this could save it.
408
00:17:21,166 --> 00:17:22,667
That's environmental sabotage.
409
00:17:22,751 --> 00:17:23,793
Yeah.
410
00:17:25,253 --> 00:17:27,046
[Killian]
I'm touched.
411
00:17:27,130 --> 00:17:28,798
Really.
412
00:17:28,882 --> 00:17:30,717
I wasn't gonna
actually infect the lake.
413
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:32,302
Just swap out a fish
414
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:34,137
that was going in
for testing with this one.
415
00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:36,014
But it's insane, so we can
416
00:17:36,097 --> 00:17:37,577
- just toss it back.
- [Killian] Or...
417
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:42,061
We could Greenpeace this shit.
418
00:17:42,145 --> 00:17:43,897
Let's do this.
419
00:17:43,980 --> 00:17:47,859
[jovial fiddle music]
420
00:17:51,029 --> 00:17:52,113
Hey!
421
00:17:58,203 --> 00:18:00,371
♪
422
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:04,876
I'm watching you three.
423
00:18:04,959 --> 00:18:07,086
Hey, you two.
How are you?
424
00:18:07,170 --> 00:18:09,255
[air kissing]
425
00:18:09,339 --> 00:18:13,092
Oh! Becky-Sue,
Becky-Sue, Becky-Sue.
426
00:18:13,176 --> 00:18:15,720
Say goodbye to
Grandpappy's farm.
427
00:18:15,804 --> 00:18:19,265
Looks like the bank finally
called in Daddy's loan.
428
00:18:19,349 --> 00:18:24,437
Oh, well, hopefully this will
take care of Daddy's debts.
429
00:18:24,521 --> 00:18:28,066
Oh, actually, Becks,
the, uh, price has gone up...
430
00:18:28,149 --> 00:18:29,734
threefold,
431
00:18:29,818 --> 00:18:32,237
I'm fielding some
interesting counteroffers.
432
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:34,948
Well, we're happy
to match any price.
433
00:18:35,031 --> 00:18:36,783
Maisy...
434
00:18:38,326 --> 00:18:39,786
that's what I love about you.
435
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:46,918
- There goes our juicing island.
- And our custom clawfoot.
436
00:18:47,001 --> 00:18:49,963
Unless "three" means...
437
00:18:51,005 --> 00:18:53,049
- Oh...
- No, babes!
438
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:55,301
We haven't had a threesome
since my rookie year.
439
00:18:55,385 --> 00:18:57,428
Don't you remember
our Tampa Bay Triangle?
440
00:18:57,512 --> 00:18:59,514
I barely remember
Tequila Bay Triangle.
441
00:18:59,597 --> 00:19:02,267
You did have a lot of
mescaline that night.
442
00:19:02,350 --> 00:19:05,854
Just sit back, relax,
and think of your sauna.
443
00:19:08,606 --> 00:19:10,233
No pain, no stain.
444
00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:11,901
Know what's better
than one fiddle?
445
00:19:11,985 --> 00:19:13,444
- What?
- Two fiddles.
446
00:19:13,528 --> 00:19:16,155
[laughing]
447
00:19:16,239 --> 00:19:19,325
[overlapping chatter]
448
00:19:22,287 --> 00:19:23,580
[Jayne scoffs]
449
00:19:25,540 --> 00:19:27,041
Love your scrunchie.
450
00:19:30,962 --> 00:19:32,839
I think there's more room
in the kitchen.
451
00:19:34,465 --> 00:19:35,675
[whimpers] Mm-hmm.
452
00:19:35,758 --> 00:19:37,343
[stifled sob]
453
00:19:37,427 --> 00:19:38,803
- Sweet.
- [zipping]
454
00:19:38,887 --> 00:19:41,431
Hey, sorry, babe.
Had to take a waz.
455
00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:43,683
Whoreen and Saggy Balls
are still in the shitter.
456
00:19:43,766 --> 00:19:45,977
[tearful]
Nobody wants my crab cakes!
457
00:19:46,811 --> 00:19:48,605
Our girls aren't lifeguards.
458
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:53,359
And you let me wear
this stupid scrunchie!
459
00:19:54,485 --> 00:19:56,404
Hey,
I love your scrunchie, babe.
460
00:19:57,238 --> 00:19:58,823
And you know
I love your crab cakes.
461
00:20:00,158 --> 00:20:01,826
[Jayne]
I used to be captain,
462
00:20:01,910 --> 00:20:04,078
until Maisy stole it from me!
463
00:20:05,872 --> 00:20:09,584
[sobs] It was three to one
in our favour!
464
00:20:09,667 --> 00:20:11,628
Where did...
where did I go wrong?
465
00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:12,879
[spits]
466
00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:14,881
It's too much cilantro, babe.
467
00:20:14,964 --> 00:20:17,008
Okay? Just adjust
the ratios and it's fine.
468
00:20:17,091 --> 00:20:18,593
Our girls, babe.
469
00:20:20,178 --> 00:20:23,848
I failed them.
470
00:20:23,932 --> 00:20:26,601
Jaynie...
you are the greatest mom ever.
471
00:20:26,684 --> 00:20:28,686
Hey, our girls?
472
00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:31,856
They got your smokin' bod.
They got my super smarts.
473
00:20:31,940 --> 00:20:33,983
And one day,
they are gonna follow in
474
00:20:34,067 --> 00:20:36,152
their mom's MILF-y footsteps
475
00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:38,571
and they're gonna marry
a great guy... or girl...
476
00:20:38,655 --> 00:20:39,697
like me.
477
00:20:41,449 --> 00:20:43,159
First time I saw you,
478
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:46,037
I knew I was gonna spend
the rest of my night with you.
479
00:20:47,622 --> 00:20:48,748
Then you got pregnant.
480
00:20:50,291 --> 00:20:53,461
And I thought, "I'm pretty sure
she said she was on the pill."
481
00:20:53,544 --> 00:20:55,421
Then you said,
"I'm getting an abortion."
482
00:20:55,505 --> 00:20:58,675
Ugh, that's when I knew you
were the girl for me, Jaynie!
483
00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:01,469
And now six IVF treatments
later, here we are!
484
00:21:02,428 --> 00:21:05,181
So who gives a shit
if Killian won lifeguard
485
00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:07,225
or if Maisy still
looks fit as hell?
486
00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:10,478
You are my girl, Jaynie.
Forever.
487
00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:14,399
[breathing shakily]
488
00:21:14,482 --> 00:21:16,275
I... I have to go.
489
00:21:20,947 --> 00:21:23,866
Whew. Check out the height
on that tushy.
490
00:21:25,535 --> 00:21:27,286
Gotta get me some Spanx.
491
00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:29,330
[spits]
492
00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:35,003
[overlapping chatter]
493
00:21:35,086 --> 00:21:41,426
♪
494
00:21:41,509 --> 00:21:42,552
Ugh.
495
00:21:45,138 --> 00:21:48,433
Oh, God,
there's that hornt-up creep.
496
00:21:48,516 --> 00:21:51,477
Bleh. You know what
the worst part is?
497
00:21:51,561 --> 00:21:53,688
They're usually great in bed.
498
00:21:53,771 --> 00:21:55,940
Oh, God, curses!
[chuckles]
499
00:21:56,899 --> 00:22:00,236
Sure, yeah. Nothing beats
a dirty hate-fuck, but...
500
00:22:00,319 --> 00:22:01,779
Threesomes are
a fourth-date thing?
501
00:22:03,573 --> 00:22:06,159
I thought we were vibing,
but, hey, if you want
502
00:22:06,242 --> 00:22:07,842
to have a three-way
with "Mayor_Naise"...
503
00:22:07,910 --> 00:22:09,787
We are, we are.
We're... we're vibing.
504
00:22:09,871 --> 00:22:12,498
There's... there's total vibes.
505
00:22:12,582 --> 00:22:14,167
It's just that, um...
506
00:22:14,250 --> 00:22:16,085
[Gil]
Oh!
507
00:22:16,169 --> 00:22:17,879
- Hello.
- Hello.
508
00:22:17,962 --> 00:22:20,214
Shit. Just give me a sec, okay?
509
00:22:22,467 --> 00:22:24,010
Don't go anywhere.
510
00:22:25,887 --> 00:22:28,723
Oh, look who finally decided
to show up to the party.
511
00:22:28,806 --> 00:22:32,060
You just missed it. Maisy made
a huge donation to my campaign.
512
00:22:32,143 --> 00:22:33,561
Oh!
513
00:22:33,644 --> 00:22:36,439
[sighing]
I'm gonna miss this old barn.
514
00:22:36,522 --> 00:22:40,234
Justin, I am so pleased that
you and Riley showed up.
515
00:22:40,318 --> 00:22:41,611
Enjoy the crab cakes.
516
00:22:42,737 --> 00:22:45,156
What the fuck, Gil?
We had a deal!
517
00:22:45,239 --> 00:22:47,092
It was just feeling like
you weren't gonna deliver.
518
00:22:47,116 --> 00:22:50,328
Oh, I deliver.
I can Pony Express-deliver.
519
00:22:50,411 --> 00:22:52,413
I just thought that I had
a little bit more time.
520
00:22:52,497 --> 00:22:54,707
Well, now that Maisy's
fat check is burning a hole in
521
00:22:54,791 --> 00:22:59,295
my back pocket, time is not an
asset you have, Ponyboy. But...
522
00:22:59,378 --> 00:23:01,523
[whispering] If you and Riley
want to get funky in the bunky
523
00:23:01,547 --> 00:23:04,759
in about ten minutes, I'll see
to it that Maisy won't be able
524
00:23:04,842 --> 00:23:07,178
to screw in so much
as a lightbulb
525
00:23:07,261 --> 00:23:10,681
unless I give her a permit
in this town. Or else...
526
00:23:10,765 --> 00:23:12,892
[imitating bulldozer]
Beep. Beep. Beep.
527
00:23:12,975 --> 00:23:14,477
[high voice]
"Oh no, my cottage.
528
00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:16,521
No, not my cottage.
Not the cottage!"
529
00:23:16,604 --> 00:23:18,648
[imitating explosion]
530
00:23:21,943 --> 00:23:23,111
That's not my voice.
531
00:23:23,945 --> 00:23:25,780
- Oh!
- Family always helps.
532
00:23:25,863 --> 00:23:27,448
Staff uniforms
are in the kitchen.
533
00:23:27,532 --> 00:23:28,991
Opal, I'm not...
534
00:23:29,075 --> 00:23:31,410
- [snaps] Ándale!
- God...
535
00:23:31,494 --> 00:23:36,082
♪
536
00:23:36,165 --> 00:23:37,917
[sighs]
537
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:40,336
I'm sorry, Jaynie.
538
00:23:40,419 --> 00:23:43,214
I let you and
the dance crew down.
539
00:23:43,297 --> 00:23:45,216
We had such dreams...
540
00:23:45,299 --> 00:23:48,427
Cosmetology, real estate...
541
00:23:48,511 --> 00:23:50,513
advanced cosmetology.
542
00:23:51,722 --> 00:23:53,099
Can you ever forgive me?
543
00:23:53,182 --> 00:23:55,893
- [approaching laughter]
- [gasps]
544
00:23:55,977 --> 00:24:01,023
[indistinct chatter]
545
00:24:02,441 --> 00:24:04,527
[Billie sighs]
546
00:24:04,610 --> 00:24:06,112
Should we put him
with the others?
547
00:24:06,195 --> 00:24:08,156
No. What if the others
don't have herpes?
548
00:24:08,239 --> 00:24:10,324
Mmm... take out
one of Ulrika's fish
549
00:24:10,408 --> 00:24:12,076
and put Herpie Hancock
in instead.
550
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:13,744
Aww, you named our fish?
551
00:24:13,828 --> 00:24:15,621
[laughs]
Shut up.
552
00:24:15,705 --> 00:24:17,290
[Killian]
Okay. Uh...
553
00:24:19,417 --> 00:24:20,585
[Killian grunts]
554
00:24:20,668 --> 00:24:22,086
There are no empty coolers,
555
00:24:22,170 --> 00:24:23,546
so where do we put
the clean fish?
556
00:24:23,629 --> 00:24:25,256
[gasps]
557
00:24:25,339 --> 00:24:27,049
Back in the lake.
558
00:24:27,133 --> 00:24:29,302
Then we make our little
Herpie Hancock comfy here,
559
00:24:29,385 --> 00:24:31,137
and we have ourselves
an outbreak!
560
00:24:31,220 --> 00:24:32,972
[giggling]
561
00:24:33,055 --> 00:24:36,142
Jailbreak's what you're in for
when I tell your parents!
562
00:24:36,225 --> 00:24:38,644
You two need to come with me.
563
00:24:43,858 --> 00:24:45,610
[Riley] Oh, yee-haw!
564
00:24:45,693 --> 00:24:49,238
I, uh... I could get into
this little roleplay.
565
00:24:49,322 --> 00:24:50,865
Well, I hope so,
566
00:24:50,948 --> 00:24:52,950
'cause what I was
trying to say earlier was...
567
00:24:53,034 --> 00:24:56,287
um... I... I...
568
00:24:56,370 --> 00:25:00,208
I haven't had sex
in such a long time,
569
00:25:00,291 --> 00:25:01,751
and I am so
freaked out about it.
570
00:25:01,834 --> 00:25:03,753
Aw, it's like riding a bicycle.
571
00:25:03,836 --> 00:25:05,755
Yes,
but my last bicycle had sex
572
00:25:05,838 --> 00:25:07,757
with 24 other bicycles
and fat-shamed me.
573
00:25:08,841 --> 00:25:11,093
We don't have to have sex.
574
00:25:11,177 --> 00:25:12,937
No, no, no, I wanna
have sex with you, Riley.
575
00:25:13,012 --> 00:25:15,097
I wanna have sex with you.
I wanna have so much sex.
576
00:25:15,181 --> 00:25:16,992
It's just that I don't
want my first time in...
577
00:25:17,016 --> 00:25:20,269
let's just round down
to a year... to be bad.
578
00:25:20,353 --> 00:25:22,897
Not if it's with somebody that
I like, 'cause then, honestly,
579
00:25:22,980 --> 00:25:25,316
I'm just gonna get
so in my head about it.
580
00:25:25,399 --> 00:25:28,903
But I was thinking that maybe
if there was, like, a...
581
00:25:28,986 --> 00:25:31,030
if there was, like,
a buffer, you know?
582
00:25:31,113 --> 00:25:33,699
Like, a buffer boy who could
just kind of get between us
583
00:25:33,783 --> 00:25:36,744
or under us, whatever, just to
take some of the pressure off!
584
00:25:36,827 --> 00:25:39,830
Are you asking me to have
a threesome on our first date?
585
00:25:39,914 --> 00:25:44,418
Yes. But only because
I really, really like you.
586
00:25:44,502 --> 00:25:47,505
Everyone, if I could
just get your attention.
587
00:25:47,588 --> 00:25:50,049
[chuckles]
I want to make a toast
588
00:25:50,132 --> 00:25:54,845
to new beginnings, and
to the lake's future mayor.
589
00:25:54,929 --> 00:25:56,847
[chuckles]
I'm a simple man,
590
00:25:56,931 --> 00:25:58,849
a simple man,
a simply handsome man
591
00:25:58,933 --> 00:26:01,060
with a full head of hair.
All mine.
592
00:26:01,143 --> 00:26:03,938
- I have a dream...
- [hushed] I'll do it.
593
00:26:04,021 --> 00:26:06,023
- Wait, really?
- Yeah.
594
00:26:06,107 --> 00:26:09,026
You know, working with death a
lot makes you appreciate life,
595
00:26:09,110 --> 00:26:12,321
and sex is the one thing
we get for free.
596
00:26:12,405 --> 00:26:14,323
So...
597
00:26:14,407 --> 00:26:18,369
Hey, second date,
full sex party.
598
00:26:20,454 --> 00:26:22,999
- Lots of dicks.
- Thank you, Maisy,
599
00:26:23,082 --> 00:26:25,042
for your hospitality
and your vision
600
00:26:25,126 --> 00:26:28,462
for the revitalisation
of our lake. Hear, hear!
601
00:26:28,546 --> 00:26:30,065
- [all] Hear, hear!
- I would also, uh,
602
00:26:30,089 --> 00:26:32,133
like to make a toast!
603
00:26:32,216 --> 00:26:36,345
We are... so excited
604
00:26:36,429 --> 00:26:38,806
to get behind a man
605
00:26:38,889 --> 00:26:42,059
who rises to a challenge.
606
00:26:42,143 --> 00:26:44,895
Adversity,
as they say,
607
00:26:44,979 --> 00:26:47,773
makes excellent bunk fellows.
608
00:26:47,857 --> 00:26:49,066
Yeah.
609
00:26:50,401 --> 00:26:52,820
To the thrill of Gil!
610
00:26:52,903 --> 00:26:54,739
- [man] Yeah!
- [Ulrika] The Thrill of Gil!
611
00:26:54,822 --> 00:26:56,782
- Yeah!
- [scattered applause]
612
00:26:56,866 --> 00:27:01,078
♪
613
00:27:13,591 --> 00:27:16,177
Tight hip flexors can
really ruin a threesome.
614
00:27:16,260 --> 00:27:17,720
[phone chimes]
615
00:27:17,803 --> 00:27:20,097
You know,
I wanna stretch it out.
616
00:27:20,181 --> 00:27:23,225
- [Justin] ...Yeah.
- [Riley] Yeah.
617
00:27:26,896 --> 00:27:28,606
[Riley grunts]
618
00:27:28,689 --> 00:27:30,149
[Justin exhales]
619
00:27:30,232 --> 00:27:34,070
- You okay?
- Yeah. So good, so good.
620
00:27:35,321 --> 00:27:37,323
You got a new bike to ride.
621
00:27:37,406 --> 00:27:39,325
- Yeah.
- Easy, breezy.
622
00:27:39,408 --> 00:27:41,619
- [gasps]
- Squeeze me.
623
00:27:42,703 --> 00:27:45,956
- [panting]
- [door opens]
624
00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:47,875
Okay.
625
00:27:47,958 --> 00:27:50,419
- [door slams]
- Daddy likes what he sees.
626
00:27:51,754 --> 00:27:54,131
I think talking's
not our friend here.
627
00:27:56,634 --> 00:28:00,304
I caught these two breaking
into the Lifeguard Lounge
628
00:28:00,388 --> 00:28:02,181
with this skanky little fish
629
00:28:02,264 --> 00:28:04,433
they were smuggling in
from Selkie Lake.
630
00:28:04,517 --> 00:28:08,270
They were trying to give
our lake herpes.
631
00:28:09,563 --> 00:28:11,565
Jayne, are you feeling okay?
632
00:28:11,649 --> 00:28:13,234
Did you use fresh crab?
633
00:28:13,317 --> 00:28:15,778
Go ahead.
Ask them.
634
00:28:15,861 --> 00:28:18,697
All right. Killian?
635
00:28:19,907 --> 00:28:22,284
I didn't want you to
tear down grandpa's cottage.
636
00:28:24,537 --> 00:28:28,290
No, it... it wasn't his fault,
it was my idea. I, um...
637
00:28:28,374 --> 00:28:30,584
I tricked him
into coming with me.
638
00:28:30,668 --> 00:28:32,336
But as Boathouse staff,
639
00:28:32,420 --> 00:28:34,880
it was Killian's
responsibility.
640
00:28:34,964 --> 00:28:38,050
He must surrender the tank top.
641
00:28:38,134 --> 00:28:40,094
- [Maisy scoffs]
- The keys will be fine.
642
00:28:40,177 --> 00:28:42,012
Are you really going
to fire the Boathouse's
643
00:28:42,096 --> 00:28:43,764
first Chinese-Canadian
lifeguard?
644
00:28:43,848 --> 00:28:45,724
It was a mistake.
645
00:28:45,808 --> 00:28:47,560
[Ulrika]
This is not about race!
646
00:28:47,643 --> 00:28:49,854
This is about an individual.
647
00:28:49,937 --> 00:28:52,231
I am sorry, kladdkaka.
648
00:28:53,983 --> 00:28:55,025
Thank you.
649
00:28:56,068 --> 00:28:59,113
So now, the position
goes to, uh...
650
00:28:59,196 --> 00:29:00,573
eh, uh...
651
00:29:02,158 --> 00:29:04,076
I don't know any of
their names, just pick one.
652
00:29:05,828 --> 00:29:07,872
[squealing & giggling]
653
00:29:07,955 --> 00:29:09,874
Okay, so,
next barbecue at our house?
654
00:29:09,957 --> 00:29:11,393
Celebrate the girls
getting lifeguard?
655
00:29:11,417 --> 00:29:13,752
I just have to
break it to Keri.
656
00:29:13,836 --> 00:29:16,297
Or Teri. Or Jeri.
657
00:29:17,381 --> 00:29:19,192
It's probably safer for
everyone if they just share it.
658
00:29:19,216 --> 00:29:20,342
Get over here.
659
00:29:21,677 --> 00:29:23,471
[Jayne]
Great cookout!
660
00:29:23,554 --> 00:29:24,847
[giggles]
661
00:29:26,932 --> 00:29:29,977
Okay, well, I'm gonna
leave this here for Maisy,
662
00:29:30,060 --> 00:29:32,771
and I will see you around.
663
00:29:32,855 --> 00:29:35,191
That's such a nice
colour on you. Okay.
664
00:29:35,274 --> 00:29:37,359
Yeah.
[panting]
665
00:29:37,443 --> 00:29:40,613
What's, uh...
what's going on, J-spot?
666
00:29:40,696 --> 00:29:43,199
Why's the pole
at half-mast? Who died?
667
00:29:43,282 --> 00:29:44,825
It... it was just there,
I swear.
668
00:29:44,909 --> 00:29:46,511
I was... it was, like,
it was just there...
669
00:29:46,535 --> 00:29:47,953
- He was just there.
- I was there.
670
00:29:48,037 --> 00:29:49,747
I thought, uh,
sticking it to Maisy
671
00:29:49,830 --> 00:29:52,333
would've stiffened
your resolve. [chuckles]
672
00:29:53,417 --> 00:29:54,668
What does Maisy have...
673
00:29:56,170 --> 00:29:58,297
This was never about
riding the bicycle.
674
00:29:58,380 --> 00:30:00,216
No, no, wait, Riley, come on.
I'm sorry!
675
00:30:00,299 --> 00:30:02,218
I can explain if you...
Well, actually,
676
00:30:02,301 --> 00:30:03,636
you've pretty much got it all.
677
00:30:04,887 --> 00:30:07,056
This just became
a party for two.
678
00:30:07,139 --> 00:30:09,850
All right!
Sorry, Timbersnake.
679
00:30:09,934 --> 00:30:11,644
The deal was for three.
680
00:30:12,770 --> 00:30:14,271
Welcome to the farmhouse.
681
00:30:14,355 --> 00:30:17,399
- With "Mayor_Naise"?
- [door slams]
682
00:30:17,483 --> 00:30:18,526
Damn it.
683
00:30:19,652 --> 00:30:21,070
[Maisy] Oh, there he is.
684
00:30:21,153 --> 00:30:23,405
Where were you?
I called and texted.
685
00:30:23,489 --> 00:30:25,199
I'm sorry, I was with...
686
00:30:25,282 --> 00:30:27,576
None of that matters.
What happened? What's wrong?
687
00:30:27,660 --> 00:30:32,581
Your birth daughter coerced
my son into committing a crime.
688
00:30:32,665 --> 00:30:34,500
Okay, take it easy, Dateline.
689
00:30:34,583 --> 00:30:35,977
I don't think that
Billie and Killian
690
00:30:36,001 --> 00:30:37,795
should see each other anymore.
691
00:30:37,878 --> 00:30:39,689
They obviously don't bring out
the best in each other.
692
00:30:39,713 --> 00:30:42,007
What are you talking about?
Billie's a great kid.
693
00:30:42,841 --> 00:30:45,761
Under the watch of
her parents, sure.
694
00:30:45,844 --> 00:30:47,846
But she obviously hasn't
had the best example
695
00:30:47,930 --> 00:30:51,725
- this summer, has she?
- I am really, really sorry.
696
00:30:52,851 --> 00:30:54,853
Do you ever
get tired of winning?
697
00:30:54,937 --> 00:30:56,689
Or being the fucking worst?
698
00:30:56,772 --> 00:30:58,983
Okay. Whoa.
699
00:30:59,066 --> 00:31:03,237
Billie, I am really sorry
that things went this way too.
700
00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:04,697
Please tell your parents that
701
00:31:04,780 --> 00:31:06,365
I'm a really big fan
of their work.
702
00:31:09,743 --> 00:31:11,620
You left me alone
with that sociopath
703
00:31:11,704 --> 00:31:13,515
- and I texted and texted you!
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
704
00:31:13,539 --> 00:31:15,916
I got caught up with Riley...
705
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:17,876
It doesn't matter.
What happened?
706
00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:19,878
I was trying to help Killian.
707
00:31:19,962 --> 00:31:21,880
[sniffles] He loves
your stupid cottage too,
708
00:31:21,964 --> 00:31:24,466
so when Ulrika said that
if the lake had herpes,
709
00:31:24,550 --> 00:31:26,719
it would stop construction,
I thought if it looked like
710
00:31:26,802 --> 00:31:28,679
our lake was infected, then...
711
00:31:28,762 --> 00:31:31,640
- [whimpers] I don't know.
- Oh, my God.
712
00:31:31,724 --> 00:31:34,184
That's genius.
713
00:31:34,268 --> 00:31:37,187
Not so genius that we got
caught and Killian got fired!
714
00:31:37,271 --> 00:31:39,631
Yeah, but you were doing it for
someone that you care about!
715
00:31:39,690 --> 00:31:43,152
I'd have done the same thing.
I mean, here's dumbass me,
716
00:31:43,235 --> 00:31:45,088
I'm trying to stop the reno
by having a threesome
717
00:31:45,112 --> 00:31:47,364
with this slimy politician,
but your plan?
718
00:31:47,448 --> 00:31:49,908
Simple, elegant, scientific?
719
00:31:49,992 --> 00:31:53,704
Oh, my God.
Maisy was right.
720
00:31:53,787 --> 00:31:56,999
- You are a terrible influence!
- [Justin] What?
721
00:31:57,082 --> 00:32:00,628
[Billie] I will not be infected
by your herpes anymore!
722
00:32:00,711 --> 00:32:02,046
[Justin] Billie!
723
00:32:04,048 --> 00:32:06,091
Looks like you lost
your canoe ride.
724
00:32:08,344 --> 00:32:12,222
Lucky for you, I, uh,
have a soft spot for roadkill.
725
00:32:14,183 --> 00:32:15,225
Come on.
726
00:32:16,477 --> 00:32:19,897
[boat thudding against dock]
727
00:32:19,980 --> 00:32:23,150
[crickets chirping]
728
00:32:27,112 --> 00:32:29,198
[Justin sighing]
729
00:32:32,534 --> 00:32:34,078
Thanks for the ride.
730
00:32:37,873 --> 00:32:39,875
I know it sounds insane,
731
00:32:39,958 --> 00:32:42,044
but I did it to
save the cottage for Billie.
732
00:32:43,003 --> 00:32:44,963
I mean, putting out for
your kid's real estate?
733
00:32:46,340 --> 00:32:48,384
That's gotta be
a parenting first.
734
00:32:49,218 --> 00:32:50,260
Yeah.
735
00:32:51,136 --> 00:32:52,936
I just wish you would've
been honest about it.
736
00:32:55,307 --> 00:32:56,975
All right.
So if I'd said,
737
00:32:57,059 --> 00:33:00,104
"Hey, will you bang
this skeezy guy with me
738
00:33:00,187 --> 00:33:02,731
to save our cottage?"
would you have done it?
739
00:33:04,608 --> 00:33:06,026
I hope you find a guy who'll
740
00:33:06,110 --> 00:33:08,195
suck a politician's dick
for you.
741
00:33:12,324 --> 00:33:16,495
[motor rumbles]
742
00:33:16,578 --> 00:33:21,041
[emotional instrumental]
743
00:33:24,962 --> 00:33:29,925
♪
744
00:33:32,302 --> 00:33:33,345
Billie?
745
00:33:37,641 --> 00:33:39,518
Billie, I'm sorry. I...
746
00:33:39,601 --> 00:33:41,854
I will do better,
I will be better.
747
00:33:41,937 --> 00:33:43,772
I will be a better
birth father, or friend,
748
00:33:43,856 --> 00:33:45,232
or whatever it is that you...
749
00:33:45,315 --> 00:33:47,025
[sobbing]
- [softly] He's trying, baby.
750
00:33:47,109 --> 00:33:49,695
I know, I know.
751
00:33:49,778 --> 00:33:51,780
- [Billie sobbing]
- It's gonna be okay, honey.
752
00:33:51,864 --> 00:33:55,576
It's gonna be okay.
Tummy mummy's here.
753
00:34:00,247 --> 00:34:03,417
Shh. It's okay, sweetie.
754
00:34:03,500 --> 00:34:05,002
It's okay.
755
00:34:05,919 --> 00:34:09,923
♪ Love is for lovers
and old men ♪
756
00:34:10,007 --> 00:34:12,801
♪ Who know when to fold ♪
757
00:34:12,885 --> 00:34:15,220
♪ And go home ♪
758
00:34:15,304 --> 00:34:17,264
♪ Bet nobody told ya ♪
759
00:34:17,347 --> 00:34:19,725
♪ You should find
someone to trust ♪
760
00:34:19,808 --> 00:34:22,478
♪ And you're dumb and young ♪
761
00:34:22,561 --> 00:34:24,605
♪ You're dumb and young ♪
762
00:34:24,688 --> 00:34:28,567
♪ Love is for lovers
and old men ♪
763
00:34:28,650 --> 00:34:31,320
♪ Who know when to fold ♪
764
00:34:31,403 --> 00:34:33,572
♪ And go home ♪
765
00:34:33,655 --> 00:34:35,616
♪ Bet nobody told ya ♪
766
00:34:35,699 --> 00:34:38,577
♪ You should find
someone to trust ♪
767
00:34:38,660 --> 00:34:40,287
♪ And you're dumb and young ♪
768
00:34:40,370 --> 00:34:44,458
♪ Before you're dead
and gone ♪
769
00:34:44,541 --> 00:34:47,920
♪ You better find
someone to trust ♪
770
00:34:48,003 --> 00:34:49,755
♪ When you're dumb and young ♪
771
00:34:49,838 --> 00:34:53,217
♪ Before you're dead
and gone ♪
772
00:34:53,300 --> 00:34:57,179
♪ You better find
someone to trust ♪
773
00:34:57,262 --> 00:34:59,056
♪ When you're dumb and young ♪
774
00:34:59,139 --> 00:35:00,891
♪ Before you're dead
and gone ♪
56668
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