Original subtitles

[Theme music]

Theme song: Love, exciting and new.

Come aboard.

We're expecting you.

And love, life's sweetest reward.

Let it flow.

It floats back to you.

The love boat soon will be making another run.

The love boat promises something for everyone.

Set a course for adventure, your mind on a new romance.

And love won't hurt anymore.

It's an open smile on a friendly shore.

It's love.

Welcome aboard, it's love.

Oh, grandpa, this cruise is a great idea.

How could I ever thank you?

Well, you could start by slowing down to a gallop.

Hi.

Vicki: Hi.

This is Mr. Dwight scoffield, and i'm

his granddaughter Stacy.

Welcome aboard.

I'm Vicki stubing.

Let's see, Mr. Scoffield.

Uh, you are in the vip suite.

And Sandy, you're right next door in the executive suite.

Two best cabins on the ship.

Sounds great.

Uh, if there's anything you need,

our staff would be very happy to help you.

Well, you can tell your staff that just

because we're in the two finest suites

doesn't mean I'm a big tipper.

Now, where are our cabins, or do we have to guess?

Sir, they're right up these stairs and to the left.

Young lady, those may look like stairs

to you, but at my age they look more like mt.

Everest.

Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Scoffield.

You can use the elevator.

It's right over there on the other side of the lobby.

Enjoy your cruise.

Thank you, Vicki.

Grandpa, I'm going up to check out my cabin.

I'll see you later, ok? - Ok.

Ok.

Uh, excuse me.

Could you tell me how to get to the aloha deck?

I'm having some trouble finding my way around.

Well, I'm having problems of my own--

I don't believe it.

But I really am having trouble.

Young man, do you have a grandfather named Henry Harper?

No.

Why?

It's amazing.

You're the spitting image of a man I went to college with.

His name was Henry Harper.

Dwight?

Oh, my-- Dwight scoffield, is it really you?

Yeah.

Why-- why do you ask?

Because, old friend, I am Henry Harper.

What!

Listen, I'll 86 this luggage and I'll

meet you up in the lido deck in 20 minutes

to tell you all about it.

It can't be.

Oh!

I love you, I love you, I love you.

Multiply that by a million times and that's

how much I love you.

[Clearing throat]

Oh.

Hi.

Uh, we're ed and Cora winnaker.

Um-- oh, gosh.

The honeymoon couple?

How did you know?

Well, welcome aboard.

I'm sure you're anxious to go to your cabin.

It's so much fun unpacking.

You're on the fiesta deck, cabin 213.

Thanks.

Thank you.

Are you out of your mind?

Do you realize what you just did?

You sent a honeymoon couple to fiesta 213!

So?

So that's a jinxed cabin.

It's bad luck!

Look, every honeymoon couple that has ever checked

into that room has split up.

Bobby!

Isaac!

Ha-ha!

Ok, give me a hug. Good one.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right.

And five, show me five.

Hey, hey, ah.

I wish you two would try and get along a little better.

How you doing?

Good, good.

Oh, uh, sir.

I'd like you to meet Gayle Davis and my main man Bobby.

Welcome aboard.

Heard a lot of nice things about you two.

We've heard a lot of nice things about you too, captain.

I hope it was good.

Uh, maybe I better show you to your cabin

before you get me fired.

Oh, and this is for you.

You can open it later.

Or now.

Oh boy!

Robin hood!

Yeah.

Oh, listen.

Come on, I want to show you some other stuff.

Bobby was only kidding.

Truth is, Isaac is always telling

us how terrific you are.

Well, I think Isaac is pretty terrific too.

I completely agree.

I better.

I'm planning on spending the rest of my life with him.

[Horn blowing]

[Excited chatter]

[Music playing]

You kiss terrifically.

Mm.

You led, I merely followed.

[Knocking]

Both: Hi! - Hi.

Come on in.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Well.

Gee, I hope we're not disturbing anything.

Nothing that can't be continued later.

Ah, good.

Because we wanted to present you with this champagne,

compliments of the crew.

Oh, thank you.

Isn't that nice?

Well, are you happy with your cabin?

Is everything honeymoon perfect?

Couldn't be better.

Oh, ed, it's our honeymoon and we forgot

the most important thing.

Uh, we can do it later, honey, after gopher and Julie leave.

I meant the threshold.

You forgot to carry the bride over the threshold.

Well, why don't we take care of that right now?

Yes, sir.

One threshold coming right up here.

Both: [Humming "here comes the bride"]

And here we go!

[Dress tearing]

Oh!

Oh, ed.

That's my wedding dress.

I didn't tear it on purpose, honey.

Ed, how could you be so clumsy?

I couldn't help it.

You're heavier than I remembered.

[Music playing]

Now, Dwight, I know it must come as quite a shock to you,

but goldarn it, I really am your old classmate Henry Harper.

How could that be?

Henry Harper must be 70 years old by now.

71 last march.

I celebrated by hang gliding in Honolulu.

That's preposterous.

Oh, not really.

No more preposterous than the time

you shimmied up the flagpole and swore you wouldn't come

down if hoover were re-elected.

Or the time that you told Elsa tuttle

that you were a close friend of Rudy vallee's

just to get a date with her.

Or the time that you tricked me into selling

you that property the day before oil was discovered on it.

My god.

Could it be--

that was a dirty deal.

Hi, grandpa.

What's wrong?

You look like you've seen a ghost.

That's close.

Well, if this is him, I can't wait to go to the great beyond.

Well, thank you.

I think you're the cat's pajamas too.

Uh, Henry Harper.

Uh, Stacy scoffield.

Would you care to go for a swim, Stacy?

Sure.

You're gonna be all right, grandpa?

Ok.

Let's go.

Holy cow.

They didn't make swimming suits like that when we were young.

Hello, Isaac.

Hi, captain.

Can I have something to drink, please?

Sure, my assistant will be glad to take care of you.

He handles only soft drinks.

What assistant?

I'll need to see some ID first, please.

Young man, I am the captain.

Is he all right?

Mm-hm.

Ok, one Shirley temple.

My specialty.

Thank you, Bobby.

Mm.

That's delicious.

That's my boy.

When I grow up, Isaac, I'm gonna

be a bartender just like you.

I thought you wanted to be president of the United States?

That too.

Well, for now, how about settling for a tour of the ship

like I promised you? - Wow!

Really? - Yeah.

I'll go tell mom.

Ok.

Mom, Isaac's off work now.

Well, I hope you didn't bother him while he was working.

No, I helped him.

He says nobody makes Shirley temples like me.

That's right, Gayle, nobody.

Listen, Bobby, are you ready to go exploring?

Yeah.

Oh, just let me get my wrap.

Oh, no, Gayle, this is just for Bobby.

I didn't want to bother you with this.

Why don't you just stay here and soak up the sun?

You sure you don't mind?

Not at all.

Well, I don't want Bobby to wear you out.

Are you kidding?

The man of steel?

Tin foil.

Come on, Bobby.

[Music playing]

Ed, I'm sorry.

Cora, I can't imagine how you can go into a shop

and pick this out of all the outfits they have in there.

Julie, we've come up with a new drink for Isaac to make.

It's called the Julie McCoy.

Ok, let's have it.

You take a happy couple and you put them on the rocks.

Ha, ha, ha.

You guys just won't let up, will you?

You're still stuck on that bad luck cabin thing.

Well, see for yourself.

They've been going at it ever since they came out here.

I think it's cute.

Cute?

It looks like something out of a clown convention.

Ed, I think you're overreacting.

[Laughing]

Are you satisfied?

People are laughing at me.

Ed, people were laughing at your clothes

long before I met you.

Really?

If it wasn't for me, you'd still be wearing nehru jackets.

While we're at it, you wouldn't

exactly make the cover of "vogue" in that rag

you're wearing.

Well, you may not like your new deck suit,

but there's one good thing about it.

What's that?

It's wash and wear.

[Music playing]

Oh, Henry, Henry.

There you are.

Well, dog my cats.

Dwight.

Could we speak privately?

Oh, sure.

Do you mind, sweet patootie?

I'll catch up to you later.

Ok, but someday you're going to have to tell me

what language you're speaking.

See you later, grandpa.

What's up, Dwight?

Henry, I can't accept this.

It's impossible that you are the Henry Harper

that I went to college with.

For the love of Mike, Dwight.

It's not only possible, it's true.

But how?

I mean, uh, you haven't aged a day in 50 years.

And it can't be plastic surgery.

No.

Dwight, if I tell you a secret, do you swear never to breathe

a word of it to anyone?

Oh, I swear.

Ok.

It all started in 1934 right after I

went bankrupt-- thanks to you.

I was on a hiking trip through the back country of Mexico.

While I was there, I discovered a root.

Now, this root, if mixed with certain ingredients,

forms the enzyme that prevents aging.

Can such a thing exist?

Oh, yes.

Gerontologists have known for years that the aging process

can be chemically halted.

They just haven't found out how to do it yet.

And I have.

This root is the key to it.

I'm on my way to get some more now.

Sounds impossible.

Yes, but it's true.

But think of it.

I mean, immortality.

Yeah.

Uh, Henry, if a person were to, uh, pay you handsomely

for a little of this potion, you'd sell it to him,

wouldn't you?

No, Dwight, it's not for sale.

Listen, I gotta go.

I don't want to keep that little sheba of yours waiting

any longer. - Oh, but--

I'll see you.

I-- uh--

[Music playing]

Would you please pass a roll?

I would, but I'm afraid you'd be unhappy with my selection.

Look, it's ok.

I trust you-- on rolls.

[Laughing]

What's so funny?

Oh, you did look kind of silly in that deck suit.

It wasn't really that bad.

Oh, no, it was an awful choice.

You were right to be upset.

While we're being honest, I thought

you looked beautiful in that bathing suit you wore.

Really?

Then why'd you say what you did?

I don't know.

I don't know what's going on with us.

You're right.

We never fought this much before.

I don't understand it.

Well, we've both been under a lot of tension

with the wedding and all.

You know, suddenly I don't feel so hungry anymore.

That's strange.

Neither do I.

Cora, ed.

Uh, if you're not happy with your cabin,

we do have another one available.

And it's perfect for honeymoon couples.

- Uh-huh. - No thanks.

Our honeymoon couldn't be any more perfect.

Excuse us.

Well, gopher.

I'm not the type to say I told you so,

but I am the type to say--

[laughing]

Mm.

Dwight, this steak is the bee's knees.

You really oughta try some.

No.

I can't.

Grandpa has to be careful about what he eats.

The doctor's put him on a very strict diet.

Hmm.

I'm not allowed anything with taste.

That's too bad.

Because I find eating to be one of the truly

great pleasures of life.

Anyone for more giggle water?

Oh, I forgot.

You don't drink anymore either, do you?

Well, I certainly do.

Even if champagne does get me a little dizzy.

Oh, not too dizzy for dancing, I hope.

I do a mean two-step.

Sounds like fun.

Yes.

Oh, grandpa, why don't you come with us?

No.

The only dancing an old man like me does is in his dreams.

Oh, thank you, John.

Doc, have you seen Isaac's new girlfriend yet?

Not unless she's very short and answers

to the name of Bobby.

He has been spending a lot more time with little Bobby

than with his mother.

I just hope he realizes you can't break up the set.

Well.

Are you sure you don't mind tucking him in?

Are you kidding? I'd love to.

Ok.

I'll see you later up on deck.

All right.

All right, time for inspection.

Let's check it out.

Did you wash behind your teeth and brush your ears?

Isaac, it's the other way around.

It is?

You mean I've been doing it wrong all these years?

Come on, in the bed.

Listen, I'll read some "Robin hood" to you, all right?

Why don't I read to you instead?

When I was a little boy, this was my favorite.

"The three bears"?

Mm-hm.

There's a baby bear, a mommy bear, and a daddy bear.

And now mommy says i'm going to have a daddy too.

You, Isaac.

She said that?

Uh-huh.

Bobby--

and she said that you'd love me and take me

on picnics and to baseball games and teach

me how to ride a horse.

You will, won't you?

You bet I will.

Thanks a lot, daddy.

[Laughing]

Hurry up and get the key.

I don't have the key.

You have it.

No, don't you remember, honey?

You took it when we left for dinner.

Uh, no, you said you were going to take it.

No, I never said that.

Yeah, sure you did.

You can never admit when you're wrong, can you?

Well, of course I can.

When I'm wrong, I admit it.

But this time I'm not wrong.

And that's another thing.

You always have to get the last word in, don't you?

No, I don't.

I think you do.

Don't.

You're doing it now.

This is crazy.

I'm going to find someone to let us in.

Take your time.

[Music playing]

Stacy, I knew you were beautiful, but in this dress

you're the nuts.

You know what I love about you, Henry?

No, but come a little closer before you tell me.

I don't want to miss a word.

I love how old-fashioned you are.

It's almost as if you belong in the past.

It's funny, because when I think of you,

all I can think about is the future.

Oh, hi, Cora.

Is everything ok?

Oh, of course.

It's my honeymoon, the happiest time in a girl's life.

Oh, Cora, I think you better sit down.

Oh, Julie.

I don't know what's going on with ed and me.

I do.

I think maybe I'd better take over now, Julie.

Yeah.

Cora, what i'm going to tell you

is going to make you feel a lot better.

Really?

What is it?

You and ed are cursed.

Come on, let's go back to your cabin,

and I'll explain the whole thing.

Come on.

You know, you've done a great job of raising

that kid all by yourself.

It must have been rough.

Well, he was only a baby when his father died,

so it's been rough on Bobby too.

Yeah.

You know, a kid his age needs a man in his life.

So does a girl my age.

Oh, Isaac.

I never knew it could be like this.

Oh.

I didn't either.

I had an absolutely wonderful time tonight.

But right now there's only one thing on my mind.

Making whoopee?

No.

Sleep.

If I had two things on my mind, that just might be the other.

Ed: Are you telling me that this cabin is haunted?

No, no, no, I didn't say haunted.

I said cursed.

And not for everyone, just for honeymoon couples.

That's us.

However, you guys are in luck.

Cabin 224 just down the hall here is open and available.

No thanks, gopher.

We'll stay right here.

Are you sure about that, honey?

Quite sure.

Ok, if that's the way you want it.

Goodnight.

Why did you tell him we'd stay?

Oh, come on, Cora.

Don't tell me you believe in that bad luck cabin stuff too.

Well, it does explain why we've been fighting.

Don't you see?

It's the cabin, not us.

That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

Are you calling me stupid?

No, not you.

Your ideas.

Same thing.

All right.

If I'm so stupid, why did you marry me?

Well, I guess you don't have a corner on the stupidity market.

Well, I'm about to say something very smart.

Get out!

Ok, fine.

I'll be in 224 if anybody wants me.

Don't worry, nobody will.

Ed: Good riddance!

Henry, Henry, I've got to talk to you.

Ok, sure.

Come on inside.

I'm gonna get right to the point.

I'm tired of being an old man.

I want my body to be young again.

Now, do you think this potion of yours

will help me get that way?

Well, yes, but--

well, then give it to me.

Give it to me, for the sake of all those good old days.

Huh?

[Laughing]

Dwight.

Not all of our old days were so good.

Oh, still have a chip on your shoulder, eh, about that land

you sold me.

Well, can't you let bygones be bygones?

Dwight, I don't hold a grudge.

It's just-- well, I can't just give you the serum.

I mean, do you realize that every bottle I produce takes

two years of painstaking lab work

and a great deal of expense.

Oh, don't worry about the money.

I'm willing to pay you for it.

Well, it's probably a lot more expensive than you think.

Oh, dammit, Henry.

I-- I'm desperate.

Now, just tell me how much it costs and I'll pay you for it.

$100,000.

Well, uh-- worth every cent.

Where's your pen?

Well, here you go.

Ha-ha-ha.

Whoa, easy.

That's very potent stuff.

Just two drops in your orange juice every morning

and you'll begin to feel like a young man again.

Friend to the end.

Well, goodnight, Dwight.

And, uh, again, good luck.

Here you go, grandpa.

It may have taken you 50 years, but you're

finally even with that crook.

[Music playing]

Isaac.

Captain.

Is everything all right?

Sir, how do you tell someone who's serious about you

that you don't feel the same way?

Gayle?

Yeah.

Well, if she's, uh, half the woman I think she is,

she'll understand.

Yeah.

Thank you, sir.

Good luck.

Isaac.

There you are.

Hi, Gayle.

I thought we'd never be alone.

Listen, I want you to know that I think

you are one terrific lady.

Well, I think you are one terrific man.

Well.

Gayle.

I, uh-- no, we have--

Isaac, are you nervous?

I've never said this to anyone before.

And you don't have to say anything now, sweetheart.

I know what your question is going to be,

and the answer is yes.

Gayle--

oh, Isaac.

I am going to make you such a perfect wife.

And Bobby will be so happy that he has a new father.

Yeah.

Bobby, uh-- he's gonna be thrilled.

Oh, Isaac.

Oh!

[Music playing]

Merrill (on pa): Good morning, and welcome

to beautiful mazatl n.

Whether you plan to lounge on the beach or explore this

great old town, your visit to mazatl n

should be a day to remember.

Hi.

Hello.

Hi.

I'm Laurie jeffers.

I've been told you usually don't take passengers on here,

but if by chance you had a cabin available?

Well, you're in luck.

Fiesta 213 just opened up.

Didn't it, gopher?

Wrong, Julie.

Ed and Cora won't move.

However, uh, Laurie, we have a super cabin, f224, that I

think you'll like a lot better.

Fine.

I just want to get down there and change

so I can go to work on my tan.

A good idea.

Right through those doors and right around to your right.

Thank you.

Enjoy your cruise.

You told them about the curse and they wouldn't leave?

Yeah. I don't understand that.

To me, it's like Daniel not wanting

to leave the lion's den.

Thanks for the shaving gear.

[Knocking]

Cora: Darling, it's me.

Can we talk?

Who are you?

Who are you?

[Gasping]

Oh!

Who are you?

I'm not sure, but I think my name is mud.

Cora, please!

It's not what you think!

[Door slamming]

Could you open the door, please?

Cora: Go away!

I never want to see you again!

There's a logical explanation for this--

I think.

[Knocking]

Would you let me in, please?

Leave me alone, you pervert!

Vicki (on pa): Ladies and gentlemen,

a buffet brunch is now being served on the starlight deck.

Come join us and get your day off to a great start.

Here you go, champ.

I just squeezed that myself.

Good morning.

Beautiful day, isn't it?

Good morning, sir.

It certainly is.

Did you tell him?

Tell me what?

Go ahead, honey.

Oh, uh-- sir, Gayle and I, we're going to get married.

You are?

Well, congratulations, Isaac.

I hope you'll be very happy.

Thank you, sir.

I'm happy now that I've got Isaac for my daddy.

Well, best of luck to all of you.

Excuse me.

Uh, sir.

I haven't told anyone about this,

and, um, I'd appreciate it if you didn't

say anything to the guys.

All right, Isaac.

Stacy.

Good morning.

Everything copacetic with you today?

Wonderful, Henry.

But I have to confess, I couldn't stop dreaming

about the two of us last night.

Hmm, must be something in the pillows.

The same thing happened to me.

Good grief!

Would that be grandpa?

[Laughing]

I see it, but I don't believe it.

Come on.

Well, everybody, meet Stacy.

She's my, uh-- ah-- uh--

close personal relative.

Hey, Henry, baby.

What's the action?

Grandpa, what's happened to you?

Have you been drinking?

Only the spirit of youth, my dear.

Give me that fast Lane and fill my tank with high octane.

[Laughing]

Grandpa, can I talk to you for a minute?

Well, all right, all right.

I'll be right back.

Don't anybody move.

Let's stay and practice.

Grandpa, I can not believe you're carrying on like this.

Well, why not?

You wouldn't say anything to Henry if he did it.

But you're 70 years old.

So what?

Tell her how old you are, Henry.

Go ahead, tell her.

[Clears throat]

Uh-- Stacy, this is going to be

a bit hard to believe, but your grandfather

and I were school chums.

[Laughing]

Yeah, I am really 71 years old.

That's ridiculous.

Why would you tell me something like that?

Because it's true.

Grandpa, will you tell Henry to cut this foolishness out?

Oh, I can't do that.

I was always taught to respect my elders.

Look, Stacy, we've gotta go take a little walk.

Uh-- a couple of things you oughta know.

See, when I was a young man back in the '30s--

[knocking]

Go away!

It's gopher.

Hi.

I figured you guys could use a little bit of luck,

so I brought you this rabbit's foot.

I'm afraid you're too late.

Ed left me last night.

Oh no.

And today I caught him with another woman.

Gopher, this isn't what I wanted for my honeymoon.

Cora, it's not you.

And it's not ed.

It's just that you two never had a chance

here and in the doom room.

I'm so unhappy.

Honey, we've gotta talk--

Cora, I never expected this from you.

Ed, i--

and with a sailor.

Oh, ed, no.

It's not what you think.

You got this all wrong.

Oh!

Oh, gopher, I'm sorry.

For this cabin, I should have brought the whole rabbit.

Well, are you ready for mazatl n?

We don't have much time.

Henry, I'm not going to mazatl n with you.

Why not?

Well, I've been thinking about what you told me before,

and I don't think we should see each other anymore.

Oh, Stacy, you're not going to let a little thing

like that come between us?

A little thing like that?

Yeah.

Henry, you're almost 50 years older than I am.

Yeah, but age shouldn't matter if you care for someone.

I'm sorry, Henry.

But I want a nice, normal relationship,

and I just don't know if that's possible with someone

from the twilight zone.

Hello, Isaac.

Hi, captain.

What's up?

I was wondering the same thing.

Last night you said you weren't serious about Gayle,

and today you're engaged.

Wait a minute, can't a guy change his mind?

His mind, yes.

His heart I'm not so sure about.

Hold on, captain.

Maybe I didn't mean to propose to Gayle.

Maybe I was a little scared.

But now that I have, I think it's the best thing that

could have ever happened to me.

Well.

I hope you're right.

Love will grow.

How do you know?

I'll make it grow.

Besides, I love that kid, and he needs a father.

For the first time in my life, I feel

like I'm doing something with responsibility, something

important.

I'm going to get married and have a family.

All right, Isaac.

I know how you feel.

Thank you, sir.

And I want to know you can always count on my support.

It means a lot to me.

Julie (on pa): We hope you enjoyed your stay in mazatl n.

As we head back to Los Angeles, there's

still plenty of time for romancing under the stars

or dancing the night away in the acapulco lounge.

All right, everybody, let's conga!

[Conga music]

Dwight, I've gotta talk to you.

Oh, don't you know it's indecent to stop a conga

line before the last ugh?

Hey, Dwight, listen.

It's very important.

Fellow congaphiles, your leader will be right back!

You'd better have a seat, Dwight.

Yes, yes, Henry.

Henry, what is it?

Well, it's about this check.

Well, look, if it's not enough,

I'll be glad to double it.

I haven't felt so good in 40 years!

Dwight, I can't accept this.

See, I lied to you about that youth serum.

Huh?

That stuff that you drank was nothing but vegetable

juice and seaweed.

What do you mean?

I mean it's a fraud.

It won't turn back the hands of time.

Well, then why--

why do I feel so young?

I'm sorry, Dwight, but you're not getting any younger.

Then why do you look so young!

Because I am young.

But one day I'm going to look just as old as my grandfather.

The Henry Harper that you cheated out of a fortune.

Oh.

I see.

I'm sorry, Dwight.

I really am sorry.

Well, if you wanted revenge, you certainly got it.

[Music playing]

What are you doing here?

Your boyfriend give you the brush off?

And shouldn't you be down below with your girlfriend?

I've never seen that girl before in my life.

Sorry, I guess I was thrown by the fact

that you were in a room with a lovely lady

and you were half naked.

That was a mix-up.

They put her in the room not knowing I was there.

You expect me to believe that?

It's the truth.

Why didn't you tell me?

I was going to, but you were too

busy snuggling up to weasel.

His name is gopher, and I wasn't snuggling up to him.

I was crying and he was consoling me.

You mean, there's nothing going on between you two?

Of course not.

I'm in love with you.

And I love you.

And you don't think the problem is us?

Are you kidding?

It's that crazy cabin.

Romeo and Juliet couldn't have lasted a day in there.

Well, what are we gonna do about a cabin now?

Well, Julie took care of that.

Room 224.

You're going to love the new room, honey.

It's got an ocean view, a bathtub for two,

and a 90-day guarantee against curses.

[Music playing]

Henry.

Do you know what's going on with grandpa?

I-- I just came from his cabin and he

won't even come to the door.

Oh.

I was afraid he'd take it hard.

Take what hard?

Stacy, what would you say if I told you that i'm

not really 71 years old?

Don't tell me you're any older.

No.

You see, years ago, your grandfather

swindled my grandfather out of a fortune.

And I was determined to get even.

Since I'm a dead ringer for my grandfather

and knew all about yours through my grandfather's diaries,

I made up the story about the youth serum.

I see.

But I couldn't go through with it for two reasons.

One was my conscience.

And the other is that I fell in love with you.

Oh, Henry.

I love you too.

And I couldn't care less how old you are.

Well, just for the record, I'm 24.

You mean you're younger than I am?

I finally got Bobby quieted down

enough to get him to sleep.

Bobby has a terrific mom.

And I'm going to have a terrific wife.

It's not there, is it?

What do you mean?

When we kiss, you don't feel anything, do you?

I will.

You just have to give me time.

No, Isaac.

We've given it time, and it's not gonna work.

I was hoping it would for-- for Bobby's sake,

because he loves you so much.

I love Bobby too.

We both gotta try.

Isn't the love we both feel for Bobby enough to make it work?

You know it's not.

But I want to be a part of your lives.

And you can be, as our friend.

You know, there are a lot of friendships

that last longer than most marriages.

Gayle.

You know, you're right.

I wasn't sure about the marriage,

but I am sure about our friendship.

Well, I'm glad we found out before anybody was hurt.

Oh, but what about Bobby?

He's gonna feel terrible when I tell him.

Please, let me tell him.

After all, it's a father's job.

Thank you.

Why not?

Is it because of me?

Did I do something wrong?

No, no.

It's not that at all.

You're the only thing that's right.

But Bobby, it's just that your mother and I,

we love you different than we feel about each other.

But you promised.

[Crying]

You were gonna be my daddy.

You were gonna take me fishing and camping

and do all the things a daddy's supposed to do.

I'm still gonna do those things.

I'd never break that promise.

I love you.

You mean it?

Of course I do.

And I swear I'll always be there whenever you need me.

Cross your heart?

Cross my heart.

Ok.

But what am I gonna call you?

You're not really my daddy, exactly.

Uh-- why don't you just call me uncle?

Uncle Isaac.

Nah.

Not that either.

I got it.

How about uncle daddy?

Uncle daddy it is.

[Music playing]

Bye-bye.

I hope you enjoyed your cruise.

Oh, yes, Vicki.

It was wonderful.

Good.

It was wonderful, wasn't it?

Except for what I did to Dwight.

I still feel terrible about that.

Oh, don't get down on yourself.

It looks like he's doing just fine.

Well.

It was fun, ladies.

Henry, before you go, I want to thank you.

Thank me?

For what?

Well, I've learned something from all this.

There really is a fountain of youth.

It's in your mind.

As long as you think young, you are young.

Well, grandpa, you certainly proved that true.

I almost forgot.

Would you give this to your grandfather?

If he can find it in his heart to forgive me,

I'd love to hear from him.

I don't know what to say except thank you, sir.

You're welcome.

But don't call me sir.

It makes me feel like an old man.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

Oh, thank you.

It was a wonderful honeymoon.

Ah.

Sorry about your jaw, gopher.

Oh, that's ok.

I always wanted an overbite.

And you'll be happy to know that we have

officially declared fiesta 213 off-limits

to all honeymoon couples.

Unless they wear garlic to ward off the evil spirits.

I think that would end a honeymoon no matter

what cabin they were in.

Well, bye-bye.

Good luck.

Bye.

Now, don't forget we're going camping next week,

so I want you to be a good boy and help you mom get

all the equipment together, ok?

You bet, uncle daddy.

Gayle, have I told you lately how fantastically wonderful

you are?

Not for at least 10 minutes.

Goodbye, Isaac.

Thank you.

I know it was hard on you, but you did the right thing.

I'm not sure, captain.

I'm just not sure.

Isaac, in your heart, do you want to get married right now?

If that's a proposal, sir, you've caught me at a bad time.

[Laughing]

[Theme music]