Original subtitles

[Music - Jack Jones, "love boat theme"]

(Singing) Love, exciting and new.

Come aboard.

We're expecting you.

And love, life's sweetest reward.

Let it flow.

It floats back to you.

The love boat soon will be making another run.

The love boat promises something for everyone.

Set a course for adventure, your mind on a new romance.

And love won't hurt anymore.

It's an open smile on a friendly shore.

It's love.

Welcome aboard, it's love.

[Music playing]

So look, uh, enjoy yourself.

Joe, I can't believe you are giving up a romantic cruise

for some silly golf game!

Honey, I told you, it's not just a silly golf game.

The club is sponsoring a celebrity tournament.

I could be playing with Jack nicklaus!

Oh.

Well wouldn't you rather be playing with me?

Honey, you hate golf.

You're impossible.

Look, I'll make it up to you, I swear.

But I've got to get out to the club.

So, uh, have a good time.

Hm?

Oh, yeah.

Bye.

I hope your putter rusts!

[Laughter]

Hi.

Hi.

I'm, uh, Kathy costello.

Gopher: Welcome aboard.

Ok, here we go.

Costello, Mr. and Mrs. promenade deck 228.

Mr. Costello's not here yet.

Mr. Costello has chosen not to come.

Gopher: I'm sorry.

Kathy: Not as sorry as I am.

A romantic cruise for two just doesn't

make it when you're alone.

Well, you try and have a good time anyway, ok?

- Thank you. - You bet.

Bye-bye.

Bye.

Kathy?

Ted Cole!

Oh!

Oh!

Kathy!

It's so good to see you.

Oh, and you too.

How long has it been?

10 years?

Oh, at least.

And you've gotten prettier with every one.

Thanks.

Are you traveling alone?

Um, as a matter of fact, yes I am.

That's great!

Let me get squared away, and then let's meet on the lido

deck in, say, uh, 20 minutes?

It's a date.

I can't wait to catch up on old memories.

I can't wait to make some new ones.

Hello.

I'm Lawrence jurgens, and this is miss Lydia Harris.

Welcome aboard.

Isaac: Ah yes, Mr. Jurgens.

You're on promenade 211.

And Ms. Harris, you're right next door in 209.

Dr. Bricker: I hope you don't mind my saying this,

but your hair is very beautiful.

Both: Thank you.

[Laughter]

I quite agree.

Lydia's hair was the first thing that attracted me to her.

Honestly, if you would've been wearing a hat the first time I

saw you, I'm not quite sure I would

have given you a second look.

[Laughter]

Good day.

Romantic devil, isn't he?

Why don't you go get settled?

I'm going to check on some tulips.

All right.

See you later, pudding.

[Laughter]

[Clears throat]

[Laughter]

Lydia!

Lydia, what a nice surprise.

Not for me it isn't.

What are you doing here?

Hey, is that any way to greet your former lover?

Former is right.

I'm on this trip with Lawrence.

And for you information, he's the only man in my life

right now.

Ron, if your being here ruins anything with him, so help me!

Ron: Lydia, relax.

I know you're trying to get Mr. Megabucks to marry you.

I tell you what.

As long as I'm here, I will even help you.

Help me.

How?

Have you forgotten that in addition

to being your former lover I am also your former hairdresser?

So?

So the sea air can turn your hair into frizz city, honey.

Now, if you want to reel this fish in,

you've got to make the bait as tempting as possible.

Thanks, Ron, but no thanks.

All I want is your promise to stay as

far away from me as possible.

Ok?

You won't even know I'm here.

Good.

Until it's too late.

[Laughter]

Tell me the name of your last leading man.

Oh, that was Don corsage.

- Ms. Adams? - Yes?

Is there a special man in your life these days?

Oh, several.

The problem is that there's no one special these nights.

[Laughter]

Then you're traveling alone?

Ms. Adams: You mean you're not all coming with me?

[Laughter]

Enjoy your cruise.

Ms. McCoy?

Yes sir?

Whatever happened to the standard procedure

of notifying me when a vip is sailing with us?

Well I don't understand, sir.

We always do.

Really?

That is Janine Adams, isn't it?

The movie star?

Well, even family entertainment.

Please, your next movie.

Is it true about you and Burt Reynolds?

Burt Reynolds?

No, nonsense.

We're just good, good friends.

Now ladies and gentlemen, you've asked your questions,

you've taken yours pictures-- please,

please may I enjoy my vacation?

Thank you.

But sir, I'm sure she's not on my list.

Well, let's go meet her.

Welcome aboard.

I'm captain stubing, and, um--

oh, captain.

Yes, this is our cruise director, Ms. McCoy.

How do you do?

Ms. Adams, I assume you're sailing with us,

but I don't have your name on my list.

Oh, it's Agnes gilhooly.

Agnes gilhooly?

That's right.

That's the name I was born with.

Oh, here is is.

You're on the promenade deck, cabin 350.

When I make a reservation as Agnes,

it helps keep down the fuss.

I don't like to attract too much attention.

Well, you may have to devise another plan.

Well, I certainly hope this cruise

will be a nice rest for you.

Thank you.

I'm sure it will.

Sir.

Interesting lady.

Hm.

Her nine ex-husbands must have thought

she was pretty interesting too.

Nine?

Yes sir.

And from the way she was looking at you,

you just might be number 10.

Nonsense.

And just to show how silly that is,

send two dozen roses to her cabin

and invite her to dine in my cabin.

Yes sir.

[Laughter]

[Horn blowing]

[Music playing]

Thanks, John.

Here now.

There you go.

I know we haven't seen each other for 10 years,

but you have been faithful to me, haven't you?

Oh, of course.

Just as faithful as I know you've been to me.

Ah.

So much for fidelity.

[Laughter]

Actually, um, I'm married.

I-- I've been married for the past eight years.

Really?

Must be quite a guy.

Oh, he is.

And we're very happy.

Mm.

Of course, everything's not perfect.

No, no.

I didn't think it could be.

You are traveling alone.

Well, i-- I booked this cruise as a surprise for Joe.

But I picked a weekend when he had a golf tournament.

And he'd rather play golf than go

on a cruise with a beautiful woman like you?

The man needs a brain scan.

You know Lydia, out here in the sun your hair

has the most gorgeous highlights.

Well, I guess I have mother nature to thank for that.

Oh, she did a marvelous job.

Say, why don't I get some drinks and we'll toast her, hmm?

Ok.

Be right back, pudding.

[Laughter]

Pudding?

Ron!

While you're toasting mother nature,

don't forget to thank my trusty bottle of tint.

I thought I told you to stay away from me.

I know, I know.

I just-- I wanted to get a closer

look at your future hubby.

And now that I have, I must say I am very impressed.

You are?

Ron: Well sure. Look at him.

I mean, he obviously takes care of himself.

Why-- why, he must look 10, 12 years

younger than he actually is.

[Laughter]

Age doesn't make any difference when you're in love.

This is true.

But you know, it's funny, I always

thought that you would fall for someone a little bit more

witty and gentle and sexy and charming.

Like you for instance?

For want of a better example, mm-hmm.

[Laughter]

Ah, but if I remember correctly,

witty and gentle and sexy and charming you

didn't want to marry me.

Or am I wrong?

What is this thing you have about marriage?

We were doing just great living together, and you know we were.

I do not.

Now will you just leave me alone!

[Laughter]

Ah!

Oh!

I wonder what's going on down there.

Ms. McCoy: Looks like someone's either

very popular or very sick.

Or just sick of being popular.

And maybe somebody will go down there to rescue her.

Well, I'm wearing a white hat, I guess

that makes me the good guy.

[Laughter]

Well actually it's-- my favorite movie

is the one called "seven seas."

Did you ever see that one?

It's [inaudible].

Oh, gentlemen!

I haven't caused this much attention

since I made a u-turn on the Hollywood freeway at rush hour.

[Laughter]

Excuse me.

Pardon me.

I'm, uh, sorry to be late, Ms. Adams,

but I can take you on that tour of the ship you requested.

Oh.

Thank you, captain.

Oh, I'm so glad that you hadn't forgotten.

Well, goodbye gentlemen.

It's been grand.

Oh, thank you, captain.

I was beginning to feel a little bit claustrophobic.

My pleasure.

The tour still stands.

Really?

Most definitely.

Oh.

Just you and me and all those dark, lonely areas below decks?

I promise to behave myself.

I don't.

[Laughter]

I knew when push came to shove you wouldn't let anyone

but me touch your hair.

I only agreed to let you do it because the ship's

salon was booked. - Uh-huh.

Now will you please hurry up?

Lawrence will be here any minute.

Ah yes, Lawrence.

I envy the life you two will have together, Lydia.

The security.

The stability.

That same predictable routine day after day after day.

Come on.

I want to get married, Ron.

I know you do, and I don't blame you.

I mean, all you'll be giving up is

a few hundred fiery, passionate, unforgettable

moments like this.

Lydia, i--

Lydia, what are you doing?

Lawrence!

Oh, Lawrence, this is Ron.

Ron is--

Lydia's brother.

Hi.

Nice to meet you.

[Laughter]

Glad to know you, Ron.

I didn't even know Lydia had a brother.

Well, we-- we haven't seen each other in months.

Do you know that neither one of us

even knew the other one was on the cruise?

Oh, what a coincidence.

You-- you must join us for dinner then.

Won't you, Ron?

Well thank you, Lawrence.

I'd love to.

I'll just go change, and I'll see you two in the dining room.

Fine.

See you in a little while, sis.

[Laughter]

We're a very close family.

[Laughter]

[Music playing]

[Chatter]

Sorry I'm late, but, uh, no self-respecting

escort would ever greet his prom date without this.

Oh, thank you.

Or this.

Ah!

Flowers and candy.

What will you think of next?

I'm glad you ask.

Michael?

Champagne.

Do you remember the first time we drank champagne?

I do.

It was in the winter.

And your car broke down.

And we drank it while we held each other to keep warm.

Not exactly.

Huh?

Well you see, there wasn't anything wrong with my car.

[Laughter]

Don't hate me for this, but I knew.

[Laughter]

A toast to high school lovers in winter, eh?

Oh yes, and to my favorite game--

golf.

Golf?

Sure.

Well, if it weren't for golf, you

wouldn't be here with me now.

[Laughter]

[Laughter]

You know, from what you told me, you

and Lydia must have had a very happy childhood.

Oh, yes.

Yes, we're a very large, loving family, aren't we?

[Laughter]

I'm looking forward to meeting them.

Well, I'm sure that you'll get along with them very

well, because when they come to visit,

they usually stay for months.

Uh--

no, no, no.

That wouldn't be a problem, pudding.

I can always put them up in one of the guest houses.

You are wonderful, you know?

Oh.

Sis, you are so lucky that Lawrence

is the understanding type, especially since insanity

runs in the family.

[Laughter]

Insanity?

Oh, yes, but don't worry, darling.

It only seems to affect the men.

[Laughter]

Is everything all right, Ms. Adams?

Your amandine sauce?

Everything's perfection, merrill.

But after all that time that we spent touring the ship,

don't you think it's about time you called me Janine?

Yes.

[Laughter]

So merrill gave you the tour, huh?

Mm-hmm.

Dr. Bricker: Isn't that engine room awesome?

Oh, we didn't see that.

But the cargo area and the pantries, they're enormous,

aren't they?

We didn't see them either.

[Laughter]

There's not too more to see below.

Oh, I wouldn't say that.

[Laughter]

[Music playing]

Something the matter, Kathy?

Oh, I feel guilty.

Why?

Well, here I am in the arms of an attractive man,

and I like it.

You're supposed to.

If my husband were here, I think he'd feel differently.

If your husband felt differently,

I think he'd be here.

[Laughter]

Excuse me.

May I cut in?

Sis and I haven't danced together

since mom used to take us to Mr. Taylor's dance school.

Oh.

I'll-- I'll just watch you two kids relive old times.

Thanks.

Ron, how could you?

I am only trying to help, Lydia.

If I ignore you all night, then Lawrence won't believe we're

brother and sister.

[Laughter]

A brother doesn't dance with his sister like that.

What do I know?

I was an only child.

[Laughter]

Now you're an only dancer.

I--

[laughter]

You know, I really enjoyed dining with your crew.

Inquisition and all?

Well, they care about you.

They must think that you need protection.

From you, Janine?

Haven't you heard?

I am a notorious woman.

[Laughter]

Well I, uh--

I think I'll call it a night.

But it's still early.

I-- I was just going to ask you to dance.

Oh, well, thank you, but, uh, perhaps some other time,

captain stubing.

So we're back to captain stubing.

Night.

Goodnight.

[Music playing]

You know, Kathy, today has been the nicest day

I've had in a long, long time.

Me too.

There's only one thing wrong with it, though.

It makes me realize how stupid I am.

What are you talking about?

Well, what else would you call a guy

who once broke up with someone as wonderful as you?

Oh, that's very sweet, Ted.

Thank you.

You're not only bright, fun to be with,

but you're without a doubt the sexiest woman I've ever met.

Ted, don't.

I've never stopped thinking about you, Kathy.

You know, when I was married, when I'd make love to my wife,

sometimes I'd imagine I was with you instead.

Maybe it's time you quit imagining.

Woman (on pa): Your attention please, ladies and gentlemen.

We're now docking in the quaint old Mexican port of Ensenada.

Those of you meeting arriving passengers

may do so in the purser's lobby in about 15 minutes.

Buenos noches.

It's open.

Lydia.

Lydia, my darling.

How would you like to share an intimate little midnight

supper with me in your cabin?

Ron, your sense of timing is the worst.

Uh, you're right.

It's only 11:57.

I'll wait in the hall for three minutes.

You'll have to wait a lot longer than that.

I told you the only man in my life is Lawrence.

Lydia, you know that's not true.

Did Lawrence ever give you the kind of excitement, the kind

of romance that I give you?

No.

But he did give me one thing you'll never give me--

this.

[Laughter]

Lawrence proposed to me tonight, and I accepted.

You did?

I did.

So I think you just better leave.

Yeah.

Yeah, I guess I better.

Did you forget something, Ron?

Not yet, but maybe this will help me get started.

[Laughter]

Surprise!

[Coughing]

Joe!

What are you doing here?

Well, the tournament was rained out,

so I thought i'd just come on down

and spend the rest of the cruise with you.

What's all this?

I, uh--

oh, I, um--

I was just having a little champagne.

You, uh, are drinking with both hands now, hm?

Oh, you know room service.

This is a double room, and so they send,

uh, two of everything.

Kathy, is there something you want to tell me?

[Knocking]

Aren't you gonna answer that?

Hi gorgeous.

Forgot my watch.

[Music playing]

Of course, if you're busy, I can get it another time.

[Laughter]

Room service?

Have you been getting all your meals in bed?

[Music playing]

Woman (on pa): Ladies and gentlemen,

as we bid farewell to Ensenada, we set our course

for glorious acapulco.

Captain stubing: Hello.

Hello.

I'm not intruding.

Oh, no.

Come and stand next to me, merrill.

This is like a scene from a movie, isn't it?

Sky.

Moonlight shimmering on the water.

And the handsomest of captains.

[Laughter]

Janine, you bewilder me.

Do I bewitch and bother you too?

I find you guilty on all three counts.

Have you always been so unpredictable?

Back there in the lounge, you just--

no, when I said goodnight to you earlier on,

I did it for a reason.

Are you trying to protect me from you too?

No.

No, there's, um-- there's a reporter onboard.

He works for one of those scandal magazines.

I just didn't want to get you involved.

Thanks.

Look, if he's bothering you, I can take care--

oh, no, no, no.

I'm used to it.

Besides, sensational publicity helps my career.

The public like to think of me as a woman

whose life has as torrid off the screen as it is on.

And is it?

Well, it hasn't been dull.

I've had nine husbands.

Mm.

So you have.

Yes, I'm aware of what people think of me and my lifestyle.

But the fact is that whenever I married,

I married because I was in love, or what I

believed was love at the time.

I guess it's hard to know for sure.

Oh, I was always sure.

You'd be wise to stay clear of me, merrill.

I know.

You do understand, don't you?

Totally.

[Music playing]

[Music playing]

Joe.

What do you want me to say?

I have said I'm sorry 100 times.

I know, Kathy, but, uh, sorry just doesn't seem to make it,

honey.

I still don't see how you could do this.

Joe, it's nothing that I planned!

I mean, Ted just came along and--

well, and just happened, that's all.

Just like that?

Yes.

Things haven't been right between us for a long time.

There's no romance anymore.

Sometimes I feel like you hardly know I'm alive.

Oh come on, Kathy.

Well, it's true.

You know, sometimes you used to call me

in the middle of the day just to tell me

you were thinking about me.

You never do that anymore.

What about you?

You used to send me cards at work.

Whatever happened to those nice long back rubs, huh?

How do you think I feel every time the weekend rolls around

and you head straight for the golf course?

And when you're not playing golf,

you're over at your brother's watching it on TV.

Look, nobody ever said you couldn't come along.

I am not interested in golf.

Well, maybe that's the trouble.

You don't seem to be interested in anything I like.

Well, I haven't seen you exactly plunge

into my interests either.

It's a two-way street, you know.

Maybe this is what happens when two people just

live together for eight years.

Yeah.

And if something doesn't change, that two-way street

is gonna turn into a dead end.

[Music playing]

Looks like somebody stayed up pretty late last night.

Somebody did, but it wasn't me.

Oh?

Want to talk about it?

Not really.

I don't believe it's ethical to discuss

the captain's private affairs.

You're perfectly right.

Do you know I didn't fall asleep until 2:00 am last night

and he wasn't even in this cabin yet?

Well you know, being the captain

of a ship is a 24-hour job.

He's always on call.

Julie.

I'm just tired, i'm not unconscious.

[Laughter]

Well, then you should realize that Ms. Adams is one

of the most glamorous women in the world,

and your father is only human.

Do you think I'm a child?

Dad's personal life is his business.

My concern is strictly for his health and well-being.

Captain stubing: Good morning.

I feel just wonderful today.

I'm glad somebody does

[laughter]

What's all that about?

I wouldn't know, sir, I didn't stay out late last night.

Now wait a minute.

Janine and I are just friends. - Sir, i--

- just good friends. - Sir!

Sir!

Yes, what is it?

Sir.

Congratulations.

What's going on here today?

Sir, look at this.

Just came over the wire service.

Number 10?

Of course, it's just a rumor, sir.

About you marrying Janine Adams

and becoming husband number 10?

Impossible.

Ridiculous.

Interesting.

[Laughter]

Lydia.

Lydia, you can't marry Lawrence.

Why not?

Because I love you.

This much?

I don't have that kind of money.

Or that kind of commitment.

I would have taken a cigar band from you.

Ron, I want to live a normal life.

Lydia, marriage isn't necessarily normal anymore.

It is to me.

I want to have a home and children.

I can give you children.

[Laughter]

I'd prefer they have the same last name as my husband.

Lydia, you won't go through with this.

Yes I will.

No.

In fact, I'm going through with it today.

Lawrence and I are getting married in acapulco.

Good morning, darling.

Morning.

Have you told Ron the good news?

Yes I have, and he's just thrilled.

Aren't you, brother?

Oh, right to my toes.

Of course, you'll be best man.

Of course.

[Music playing]

I always have been.

[Laughter]

Hello, Joe.

No.

I think we ought to talk about what happened last night.

Well, that's civilized.

But I guess that's the way it's done these days.

You talk about something and then everything's all right.

So suppose we talk about why I shouldn't

put my fist through your face?

I know how you must feel about me.

But I wasn't 100% at fault, you know.

Oh, I'm liberated.

I can hold you both equally responsible.

While you're blaming people, suppose you consider yourself.

You know, if things were right between you and Kathy,

this whole thing probably wouldn't have happened.

Well maybe so, but that's no invitation for you

to rip our marriage apart.

Now Joe, you were doing a pretty good job of that

all by yourself.

[Music playing]

The wire services have us getting married already?

That reporter didn't waste any time.

Oh, they never do.

Are you terribly upset?

Not really.

Good.

But I think my crew is in a state of shock.

[Laughter]

You know, last night was wonderful.

Yes it was, wasn't it?

Will you come to acapulco with me later?

I'd love to, merrill, but i'm sure the press will be coming

onboard soon with blinding flash bulbs

and rude questions at the ready, so be prepared.

I'll just tell the truth.

We just met.

That we're friends.

Mm.

Good friends.

Mm.

Both: Very good friends.

[Laughter]

[Music playing]

Woman (on pa): Welcome to fabulous acapulco,

ladies and gentlemen.

This seaside paradise has everything your heart desires,

from rummaging through its charming shops

by day to dining in its romantic restaurants by night.

Have a wonderful time.

Ron: Lawrence.

Hello.

Ron.

Well, are we are all ready to go?

Yeah.

Yeah, I guess.

Ron, is there-- is there something wrong?

No, no.

Well, uh, I wasn't gonna tell you about this.

Its mother.

Mother?

Ron: I told her about you and Lawrence,

and she is very upset that she won't

be able to see her only daughter getting married.

Poor woman.

She still has her son.

She can watch you get married sometime.

Yes, if she lives that long.

Uh, look-- uh, you two go ahead and get married.

Good.

I'm sure I'll find some way to ease the pain for her.

No.

Lydia, you-- you can't do this to your mother.

It-- it wouldn't be right for us to get married now

if it'll hurt her so much.

The wedding will be postponed until we get home.

Oh, no!

No, you shouldn't.

Right.

But I'm glad you're going to.

And I know mom will be glad too.

Ron, can I talk to you?

Ron: Not right now, sis.

I-- I feel so bad about ruining your wedding day,

I just need to be by myself right now.

[Laughter]

I understand.

Thanks.

[Laughter]

Come along, pudding.

[Laughter]

Ok.

Now, is that the way you want it?

That's it.

Ok.

Thank you, gopher.

Mm-hmm.

That telegram will get there today, won't it?

Well it should, unless the pigeon

is flying against the wind.

That bird's got to get through.

I think that's the first love letter I ever sent.

Oh, the romantic type, huh?

Working on it.

Working on it.

Oh, excuse me Isaac.

Uh, you haven't seen my wife around anywhere, have you?

Yes, she just went into town.

Oh.

You didn't happen to notice if, uh, she was with our friend.

Mr. Cole, did you?

Yes she was.

They just left a few minutes ago.

If you hurry, you can still catch them.

No, I, uh--

I think I just did.

[Music playing]

[Music playing]

I wonder how Joe is gonna react to this.

Well, there's only one way to find.

Find out what?

Joe, darling.

No, please.

If after what's happened you can still run off into acapulco

with him, you, uh--

you have to be looking for a divorce.

Well Kathy, you got it.

Joe, wait a minute.

My lawyer can handle whatever we have to say to each other.

I, uh-- I hope you and your friend

will be very happy together.

Do you want me to talk to him?

No thanks, Ted.

This is just between the two of us.

I hope what I have in here will help.

Hi dad.

Vicki.

I haven't seen you all day.

I know.

I'm sorry I acted like a kid this morning.

No.

I just wanted you to know that if you want to marry ms Adams,

it's ok with me.

You know, you really are something special.

Do you want to marry her, dad?

She's a fantastic woman.

Exciting.

Beautiful.

Intelligent.

Well?

[Phone ringing]

Captain stubing.

Fine, I'll be right there.

Excuse me, honey, but, uh, they're waiting for me

at Ms. Adam's press conference.

See you later.

Bye dad.

Kathy i--

fore!

[Laughter]

What in the hell are you doing?

Well, you said that I didn't make

an effort to spend time with you and share your interests.

Not anymore.

Where did you get all that stuff?

Ted knows a pro shop in acapulco.

Which, by the way, is the only reason

we were in port together.

He wanted to help patch things up between us.

What about you and him?

A mistake.

Ted and I both know that.

We were trying to recapture some romance we

felt had gone out of our lives.

What makes you so sure that's a mistake?

It isn't if it's with the right person.

But the only person I want to recapture anything with

is you, Joe.

You mean that?

I'd like to try.

So I'm ready to hit the links with you

every weekend from now on.

Well, it's a nice thought, Kathy,

but, uh, you're still not coming to the club with me.

Well, why not?

Well, I wanted to spend more time with you too,

so this afternoon I sent a wire to the club

canceling my membership.

Oh Joe!

I do love you!

Oh babe, I love you too.

[Music playing]

You know what our foursome always does at the club

after a nice round of golf?

No.

We shower together.

Oh.

What a good idea.

I think so.

[Inaudible]

Oh.

Wonderful.

Ooh, baby.

[Laughter]

Lydia?

It's Ron.

Lydia: Come in.

[Laughter]

Lydia.

Lydia, no.

No, please.

Not the-- no!

Lydia!

Truce.

- Truce? - Truce.

After what you said?

No, stop it!

All those lies!

Speaking of lies, I love your hair.

I did it myself!

I don't want you near me!

Will you take it easy, honey?

Take it easy!

I fixed everything, ok?

I told Lawrence that I'm not your brother

and that I tried to stop the wedding because I am

desperately in love with you.

You did?

I did.

Honest?

Honest.

Lydia.

[Gasps]

Lydia.

What have you done to your hair? - I did it.

I set it for her.

You did?

You-- you made my Libya look like a clown?

A clown?

That's being kind.

Lydia, don't you understand what he's doing?

He wants my friends to laugh at you.

I don't care what your friends think of my hair.

That has nothing to do with us.

Darling, in my social circle it is very important

to maintain certain standards, and the way you-- the way

you look is one of them.

Well, Lawrence, i--

I have certain standards too.

You love me for me, any way I am,

or you can just forget the marriage and leave.

[Music playing]

You're making a big mistake.

[Door opening and closing]

Lydia, i--

Ron, I think you should leave too

before I do something that won't give me any regrets at all.

[Door opening and closing]

[Chatter]

Ladies and gentlemen, one at a time please.

And I promise you that we'll answer all of your questions.

Have you set the date yet?

Except that one.

[Laughter]

Seriously, don't you think you're

being a little bit premature?

But it is the real thing between you and captain stubin.

That's stubing.

Reporter: Whatever you say, captain.

What's your answer, Ms. Adams?

Well, the captain is a real person,

and I'm real too, so therefore any relationship that we would

have would have to be real.

Then he is going to be number 10?

Oh, you have such a romantic way of putting things.

Would you like to answer that question, merrill?

Well--

reporter: We'd rather hear from you, Ms. Adams.

No comment.

Oh, thank you.

Excuse me, Janine.

Ladies and gentlemen, we'll be sailing shortly

and, uh, my presence is required on the bridge.

Thank you and, uh, good evening.

Please, Ms. Adams, one more question.

[Music playing]

Hi.

Can I talk to you for a minute?

Hey, I'm a former member of the family, remember?

What is it now?

I am truly sorry for what I did.

But I love you so much I would have done anything to keep

you from marrying Lawrence.

Well, you succeeded.

Oh yeah, I succeeded, and I ruined everything for you.

Maybe I wanted everything to be ruined.

What do you mean?

I've been thinking, Ron.

No matter how hard I try, I just can't

picture not being with you.

I love you.

And I'm willing to go back to living with you

again if that's what you really want.

No.

No, I can't do it.

It's too late for that.

But you said you love me.

Oh, I do love you, but I can't live with you anymore.

I want to marry you.

I thought you didn't believe in marriage.

All I've ever wanted is a home and children.

[Music playing]

Ron.

Hm?

I'm not real crazy about this hairdo.

Would you fix it for me?

Oh, I'll fix it for you.

It's gonna take me all night to undo it first.

[Laughter]

Ron?

Lydia?

[Laughter]

[Music playing]

Woman (on pa): We hope you enjoyed your visit to acapulco.

We expect clear skies and smooth sailing all

the way back to Los Angeles.

I'm sorry for deserting you, but duty called.

No, that's one of the qualities

that I find the most attractive about you,

merrill, your sense of priorities.

You know, those reporters kept on asking me so many questions,

and there was one that I just for the life of me

couldn't answer.

Really?

Why?

Well, because the question was--

are you going to ask me to marry you?

Oh.

Tough question.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

It's better than a fast no.

This girl has a healthy ego.

So does this boy.

You're unique, Janine.

I can see why those men wanted to marry you.

But I like what I do and who I am.

I like being the captain of this ship.

In your world, I'd be a deckhand.

And in this stage of my life, I couldn't handle that.

[Music playing]

Sorry.

Well, if you hadn't said something like that, i--

I wouldn't feel about you the way that I do.

But there's another way.

We could still keep our individual careers.

No.

We'd be apart more than we'd be together.

Hm.

Not exactly the formula for a lasting relationship, is it?

So where does that leave us?

Friends?

Good friends.

The best of friends.

[Music playing]

[Laughter]

Well, looks like this turned out to be a pretty

romantic cruise after all.

Oh, that it did, gopher.

I think all we needed was for cupid to give

us a couple of booster shots.

Well, just call me cupid.

Of all the names that leap to mind to describe you, friend,

that was never one of them.

[Laughter]

Good luck, you two.

I wish you all the best.

Thanks, Ted.

Thank you.

But I think I've got it right here.

She certainly does.

- Bye-bye. - Bye, gopher.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye-bye.

Goodbye, Lydia.

I still love that hairdo.

And I love the hairdresser.

I hope you two will be very happy.

I know I will.

Come along, cupcake.

[Laughter]

Lawrence has a big surprise in store.

How come?

She's wearing a wig.

[Laughter]

Goodbye.

Goodbye, merrill.

I'll never forget this cruise.

Nor I.

You may not become my number 10, but you're a 10

on any other scale.

That's quite a lady, sir.

And not easy to forget.

Well, you know what I always do when I want to forget, sir?

What?

I go to a movie.

[Laughter]

[Music playing]