Original subtitles

Previously on The L Word: Generation Q...

[grunts]

Oh, shit!

[Tess] You should not be fucking around in here.

[Shane] I'll just stay out of your way then.

You kind of have a pattern.

Is that what you think about?

-When you think about me? -Sometimes.

Contestant three, I choose you!

-[confetti popping] -[Alice] You're not regular.

-[Taylor] Yes, I am. -[Alice] Well, so am I.

There's a 45-foot picture of you outside.

Guess who's coming to town tonight?

Roxy!

[quietly] She is into you.

[Dani] Do you want to go home with me?

[Roxy] I'm halfway out the door, baby.

I just can't stop thinking about this person.

[Sophie] When are you gonna stop punishing me, Fin?

[Patty] I don't want to be your patient.

[Tess] Mom, I don't mind.

[Patty] I want to go live in the nursing home.

-I want to have a baby. -[Micah] My mom

doesn't even know we're dating yet.

[Bella] So, who's the guy?

[Angie] It's just the fact that it's really new

and nobody knows.

-Okay. -[Bella] A secret boyfriend?

-Who are you? -I can show you who I am.

[Taylor] Well, it's not a bad start.

[Shane] As much as I'd like to,

I can't.

-Fuck you, Shane. - I don't find trouble

-Ah! - Yeah, trouble finds me

Ladies make the

Ladies, ladies

Ladies make, ladies make the world go round

Yeah, I couldn't get middle seats,

but I did get a row where there's no one behind us,

so we don't have to worry about

people kicking our seats.

[Shane over phone] Yeah, yeah, that sounds good.

I'll just...

I'll find you guys when I get there.

[Alice] Oh, it's just us.

Um, Taylor's got to work.

But, can you please not be late?

'Cause you know how I like to watch the previews.

I know that.

I know, I know, I know. I promise.

I'm gonna be there at 7:30 sharp.

Okay. I'm gonna get two popcorns though, 'cause I don't

like to share. But then sometimes I'm like, should I

-get a medium... -Okay, okay, bye.

-Oh... -Hi. How are you?

I just started packing these for your mom.

Okay.

Are those...?

[Tess sighs]

I-I think we should talk about this.

I don't really have anything to say to you right now.

-All right. I just, uh... -(buzzing)

-I don't know... -Oh. Oh, my God!

-What? -Is that a bee?

-What? -Oh, my God. Go!

-Okay, okay, okay. -Get it.

Okay, I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it.

Well, don't kill it. Wh-What are you doing?

-It's right there. -Okay, yes.

Who said anything about killing it?

-Hold on. -Okay, well, just, I don't know.

They're just endangered or whatever.

-Okay, good. -It's fine.

I wasn't gonna kill it.

[sighs] Fine.

Can you open the door? Tess, do you want me

to release it here in the kitchen?

-Okay, no, but just-- -Open the door. Come on.

-Keep... Wait. -What?

Keep it away from me.

Come on, come on, come on.

How do you fucking do this?

I know, I know, it sticks. Just open it.

Oh, goddamn it.

-No, don't get it near me. -All right.

-It's all right. -Okay, but just wait, let me,

let me close the door first. Let me close the door first.

Okay.

Okay. Okay, go.

-(buzzing) -All right, it's gone.

Are you all right? We survived.

-Whew. -Are you allergic?

I just, I've never seen you act like this.

I don't know. Maybe. Those plants need watering.

What?

-What? -This is locked.

No, it's not.

It's jammed. It's not locked.

[rattling]

[grunting]

It's locked.

Oh, my God. No, no, no, no.

Please tell me you have your phone on you.

Do you?

No.

Are we fucking trapped out here together?

Well, it's certainly feeling that way. Yeah.

You're fucking kidding me. Oh, my God.

Uh-uh, no. Hello!

What, um, what is his name?

-Harvey. -Harvey!

The-the wife, the wife... What is the wife's name?

Ellen.

Ellen! Why the fuck...

They are never home!

Mack. Mack. Mack!

Mack! Mack!

There we go. Come on.

Be the hero, Mack. Be the hero.

Honey, up here. High-five me. Come on, baby, high five.

-Paw. -[Tess] Oh, my God.

[Shane] Paw, Mack, paw.

As if the dog can open the door.

Do you have a better suggestion?

Mack, come on, big boy.

Come on. Come on.

-Come up here. -Oh, my God, is anybody

-gonna find us out here? -Listen to your mom.

Mack, Mack. Mack... No, Mack.

Ah, fuck!

[sighs] You wanted to talk, right?

Okay, let's talk.

Baby, you could be the death of me

Maybe I'm crazy

I know you're danger

Baby, you could be the death of me

I'm falling, fading

And seeing angels

Baby, you could be the death of me

[door opens]

G, are you busy?

Please say no 'cause I kind of have a she-mergency.

What? What happened?

Promise you won't judge me?

-I promise. Wh...? -Um, okay,

So I was at the Lambda Chi house and one of the baseball guys

-was eyeing me. -Uh-huh.

I love how the booty looks in those pants.

I'm not sure I can help you out with that one but--

We started making out in his room.

He had, like, no bedsheets, by the way.

-Ew. I... -Angie...

there's a condom stuck inside me

and you got to help me get it out.

Please.

- Something about that -A what?

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh...

[Sophie] Okay, so...

what do you want to know?

-[clears throat] -Oh, man, okay.

[chuckles] Um...

-What's their name? -Um, Dre.

-She has a hot person's name. -No, that is not

a hot person's name.

No. No.

They're not hot.

Okay.

That actually makes me feel a little bit better.

Okay, good. Good.

Um, how did you meet them?

Um, I-I met them on Hinge.

Hinge? When did you join Hinge?

After you left rehab

and decided you were gonna stay at sober living.

Up in the Bay.

I got lonely.

[sighs]

Uh, how many times?

How many times, what?

How many times did you sleep together?

Once.

So, you had a one-night stand?

[Sophie] Basically.

-What does that mean? -We...

we slept together once, but we hung out twice.

Okay, so you liked them enough to call them again.

I guess so.

[clears throat] Uh...

Why did it end?

Because I was in love with you.

[scoffs]

And I told them that, and then that was it.

-[Finley] Yeah? -Yeah.

[Finley] Okay.

Right answer.

[both chuckling]

Why didn't you just tell me?

gentle music

Because... you were doing so well and...

I didn't want to be the reason you weren't doing well.

[sighs]

Are they as charming as I am?

-No! -[laughs]

No way.

Got nothing on you.

Yeah?

upbeat, energetic music

Yeah. No, I love you, too.

I said I love you, too.

Okay, yeah.

Okay, bye. [laughs]

She knows.

My mom knows that we're dating.

-Yeah? -Yeah.

How scared should I be of Grace?

No, she's... she's totally into it.

-Come on. -Oh, my--

-Should we celebrate? -Sure.

You want to find a sperm donor?

Whoa, that is way better than what I was going to say.

What were you going to say?

-Organize the Tupperware drawer? -Oh, yeah.

Okay, well, maybe we could be wild and do both.

Can we be in bed by 9:00?

-Maybe, uh... 8:30? -[laughs]

Shut up. What a dream!

Okay. I'll get started on the lids.

Okay. Mwah.

gentle, optimistic music

No, no. I don't want to hear how sorry you are.

Okay, then, what do you want to hear?

Nothing, actually.

There's nothing that you could say.

-So just... -Okay.

Then I'll say nothing, and then you'll say nothing.

And sure, yeah. That sounds like fun.

Yeah, it does.

I know you're thinking something.

I'm thinking that I'm an idiot.

-You're not an idiot. -Oh, yes, I am.

Because I knew about you.

Your reputation. Everybody does.

[scoffs]

But what-what I don't understand is this...

Is this really what you do? Is this really who you are?

You know who I am.

I thought I did.

I also thought that you loved me.

I do love you.

You have a really fucked-up way of showing it, Shane.

You're right. I do.

I understand that.

I didn't mean to hurt you.

I didn't.

Well, you failed miserably at that then.

I do want to know why though.

Just an old pattern.

Yes, but why?

I don't know why.

Okay.

Then how about you take this time

while we're locked out here on your fucking patio

and think about it.

[Angie] Okay, so what the website said to do

is to get into the position

that you would to put in a tampon.

Okay.

Wait, that's how you put in a tampon?

-How do you do it? -Like this.

Oh.

Okay, and then it said

you need to, like, put your fi--

two fingers, and like a, like a hooking,

like a hook, hook, hooking situation.

-Okay. -To try to get it out.

-Okay. -Okay.

Mm.

pulsing, intriguing music

Mm, I-I can't tell what's me and what's the condom.

Just feel for something slimy.

Well, everything is slimy. [grunts]

-Ow, ow, ow. -Oh, no, what's wrong?

-What's wrong? -Mm.

I picked the wrong day to get my claws done.

Ow! Okay, okay. This isn't working.

-[panting] -Just calm down.

Just calm down.

That's, like, the main thing. You're okay.

-Okay, okay. -Take a deep breath.

Okay, okay.

[breathes deeply]

Angie?

What?

Will you please get it out for me?

Gotta move things forward, everywhere I go

[Roxy over voice mail] Hey, D-bag, it's Roxy.

I caught an early flight to Costa Rica.

Good job crying it out the other night.

The real deal is gonna happen

-for you soon. Trust me. -No, no, no. Oh, yo! Yo!

-Whoa, bro! -Hey, hey, hey. Watch it!

upbeat music

[exhales] Oh, shit.

You good?

Yeah, I get it, it's all happening quickly

Yeah.

The scooter almost took you out. [laughs]

Yeah. [laughs]

When I'm crying all night

I think you might have just saved my life.

[chuckles]

From my mouth, huh?

I feel like I should kiss you right now.

But, I mean, I won't

because this is real life and not a shitty rom-com.

I'm trying, I'm trying hard

Still you managed to get me with my guard down

How? How? How?

I like it, don't stop now

I'm so sorry. [laughing]

No, no, no. No. Don't, don't apologize.

-I'm sorry. [laughs] -No...

I just, I didn't mean to just kiss you, it just...

Whoo-ooh-ooh

[announcer] Next up, we have...

What do you think? You gonna, uh...

sign up, serenade me again?

[laughs] That was a good move, okay?

-It was. -It sure was.

It worked. I believe I went home with you that night.

-Oh, you sure did. -You got me.

Where's my song?

Oh, you do not want to hear this bad boy sing.

-Yes, I do. -No.

Sing for me, please.

Sing something in my ear. Go.

[sings goofily]

[both laughing]

Okay, stop, stop,

you're hotter when you don't.

Okay. See, I told you.

-[laughs] -But I do have something

that, um, you might like way better

that I've been thinking about all day.

Yeah, what?

You want to meet me in the back office in ten?

Really?

Yeah, I'm the, uh, big boss tonight.

Ooh, big boss. Big boss lady.

Yeah, I'm in charge.

[Dani] Ew.

-[Finley] Oh. Sorry. -[Sophie] Sorry.

-I'm kidding. Hi. -Hi.

-Uh, can I get you anything? -Yes.

I'll have a tequila rocks.

-Okay. Nothing cheap. -Okay. No, I know, bud.

I've been to your house. Okay? [clucks tongue]

-Okay. -So, uh...

-Wait, where's Roxy? -Oh, she's...

she's off to Costa Rica because of course she is.

Can I tell you something

without you being totally judgy?

-Uh, when have I ever? -Okay.

I just kissed this really hot person.

[chuckling] What?

-Yeah. -Okay.

I'm thinking maybe I'll have, like a,

like a hot girl autumn or something?

Oh, my God.

I love this for you!

They saved my life.

-Did I mention that? -No.

I was literally

like J.Lo in The Wedding Planner.

Oh, my God, you get to be J.Lo in The Wedding Planner?

I fucking love that movie.

-Me too! -Wait,

but also problematic culturally... [hisses]

Oh, yeah,

but everything in the 2000s kind of was.

[Sophie] I know.

What, what?

She was playing an Italian person.

-J.Lo is Puerto Rican! -Right.

And what was that, the-the guy with the shitty accent?

Oh, my God, what was his name?

[both] Massimo!

[both laughing]

-Oh, my God. -So cheesy.

Oh, God, we loved Massimo. Oh, my God, wait.

What did J.Lo say when Matthew McConaughey

saved her fucking life? It was, um...

Oh, she goes, she goes, "You saved...

[both] ...my shoe."

[laughs]

Wow, we have a ton of options here.

Well, the, uh, the rock climber sounded promising.

Eh, he's only five-seven.

Six-plus or bust. We are not messing around here.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

-Are you serious? -I mean,

why not? If you have the option to.

My family are all shorties.

We have to average it out somehow.

Right. Okay.

Okay, I definitely think

that we should go with the athletic body type.

This is weird. It's weird. It's weird.

Why?

-It kind of feels like eugenics. -What?

-No! Ew, no. -Come on.

I'm sorry but, you know, choosing physical traits,

-it's-it's weird, right? -No, it's not.

Look, we have a chance to design the perfect baby.

[sighs]

Yeah, it's eugenics.

-Yeah. -Yeah.

Um, also, this is insane.

Why do we have so much Tupperware?

We have a problem.

[ambient music playing]

Oh. Shane!

Psst, Shane!

Oh.

That's not Shane.

[Taylor] It makes sense, but, like,

this is like wax and sugar. Is this good?

Oh, yeah, that's great.

intriguing music

[indistinct chatter]

You can have the salty popcorn.

[indistinct chatter, laughter]

[Tess] Sex always means something.

To me it really is... just sex.

So what, are you like proposing we do ENM or something?

-I don't know what that is. -Ethical Non-Monogamy.

It's like multiple partners.

No, no, no, no, no. I just...

I wanted you.

Well, it does not feel like that.

Are you an addict?

-I don't know. -Because when I think about

your behavior like that, like, it makes more sense to me.

M-Maybe I am.

O-Okay.

-Okay, then... -It's not that simple though.

It's just, it's been a lot.

Hasn't it?

Admit that. Please.

Uh, okay.

When you moved in here, it was great.

It was. And then, and then your mom comes.

Oh, my God, that is not fair.

You said that you wanted her to move in.

[Shane] Wait, wait. No, no, no, no, no.

Let me finish.

I'm glad she came here.

And I'm so happy we could help her.

I don't regret that.

We also have Dana's.

And then you want a second bar. [chuckling]

And somewhere within all of that...

...you changed.

And you stopped seeing me.

I'm not trying to blame you.

I'm just trying to explain this.

There was a disconnect.

[Tess] Yes. Okay, yes.

Like, it's... It's been hard.

But you know

what I did when I started feeling like it was too much?

I wrote in my fucking journal,

Shane.

I didn't go out and fuck the first person

that showed me some kind of attention.

I know. You're right.

Yeah, no shit, I'm right.

[sighs]

[Sophie] Anyway, how's work?

-It's good. -Yeah?

Yeah, um, I'm actually throwing

Fletcher's album release party in a couple of weeks.

Fletcher?

-Mm-hmm. -Can I come?

-Yeah, everyone can come. -Wow.

Yeah, I feel like things are finally turning around.

-[clucks tongue] -Yeah.

Can you, can you play this one?

-I'll give you the signal. -All right.

Oh, my God. That's them.

[Dre] Dang, this mic is high.

Let me just...

There we go.

-Hi. -Oh, my God.

I know, right?

Hey, everybody. I'm Dre.

[applause]

That's... that's them.

That's, that's, that's the person

I slept with when...

No.

-Yes. -[Dre] Okay...

No.

Fuck, I have to find Finley.

Fuck!

tense music

[Sophie] Hey, um...

It's-- okay, look, it's not a big deal

or anything like that,

but...

I missed you.

[Dre] I don't want to be

- Alone tonight -I missed you, too.

It's pretty clear that I'm not over you

I'm still thinking 'bout the things you do

[crowd whooping]

So I don't want to be alone tonight

Alone tonight, alone tonight

[heavy breathing]

Can you light the fire

I need somebody

Who can take control

I know exactly what I need to do

'Cause I don't want to be

Alone tonight, alone tonight

Alone tonight

Look what you made me do

I'm with somebody new

Ooh, baby, baby

I'm dancing with a stranger

Look what you made me do

I'm with somebody new

Ooh, baby, baby

I'm dancing with a stranger

I wasn't even going out tonight

But, girl, I need to get you

Off my mind

I know exactly what I have to do

I don't want to be

Alone tonight, alone tonight

Alone...

[panting]

I'm sorry.

-You all right? -Yeah, yeah, I just...

-I'm sorry. I'm sorry. -It's okay. Are you okay?

Um... [sighs]

I just don't think that I can, um,

-I can do this right now, um... -No problem.

We don't have to do anything you don't want to.

[panting]

Dancing with a stranger

They're here.

-Who's here? -Dre.

Look what you made me do

- I'm with somebody new -Look...

Ooh, baby, baby

- I'm dancing with a stranger -Finley...

- Look what you made me do -Wait.

I'm with somebody new

Ooh, baby, baby

I'm dancing with a stranger

[cheering]

I'm dancing with a stranger

I'm dancing with a stranger

I'm dancing with a stranger

[alarm blaring]

[crowd murmuring]

Have you ever been to therapy?

No.

Well, would you consider it?

Yeah, I mean...

...if I thought it would help.

-I'm not against it. -It does work.

I know that you have been through so much.

I try to remind myself of that

every... every time I think about that you...

Just say it. I cheated on you. Right?

Yes, that you cheated.

We've all been through a lot.

All of us.

But we all don't hurt people the way that you do.

And that's nobody else's fault.

-I'm not saying it is. -Okay, so you need to

take responsibility for that.

I am taking responsibility for it.

-Have I been denying this? -No.

You're taking responsibility for it now because you feel bad.

So what happens when that feeling disappears,

and you're not feeling so bad about it?

Are you still gonna want to take responsibility for it?

Because that's what has to happen

in order for you to change.

And I need you to change.

I want you to change.

Like, but, is that, is that something that you want?

Do you want to change?

[alarm blaring]

Yeah, everybody just make your way to the exit.

Thank you.

Please, leave your drinks.

Night, night's over. I'm so sorry.

This-this isn't a drill.

We appreciate the business.

Just make your way calmly.

-Please. Just, uh... Thank you. -All right. All right.

All right, Fin, Fin, Fin, please,

can we just talk about this?

I can't hear you. The-the alarm is going off.

I saw you pull the alarm, okay?

I need, I need you to leave the premises.

I didn't know that they were going to be here.

-I didn't know. -Please.

Go, go!

It's for your own safety, ma'am, please.

Fin, come on.

I need you to exit the building, please!

Just get out, please.

[alarm continues blaring]

somber music

"Sloppy" by King Mala

God called, she said I'm headed straight

- Into the fire... -[siren wailing]

Fuck.

I like the way that it burns, karma keeps showing up...

You want to grab dinner?

Um...

[chuckles softly]

I can't. Actually.

You're right. We should probably just go back to mine

and finish what we started.

-[laughs] Okay. -Okay?

[both laughing]

I'm just saying, this night could be over.

My adrenaline is fucking pumping.

I never performed in L.A. before.

And fire alarm or not, that crowd was dope.

Where do you usually perform?

My house. TikTok.

Tiny-ass venues in Ohio.

A retirement home in Akron. Yeah.

You're really good.

I think you're great, actually.

-I'm glad you liked it. -Unfortunately,

you did sleep with my ex,

and I'm really

not into being anyone's second choice, so...

I tried it all...

Wait, wait. I've been here for six months,

how could I have slept with your ex?

[Sophie] Hey, Dani, can I get a ride?

In a choke hold

If life is gonna fuck me...

Hey, uh... nice to see you again.

[Dre] Hey. Yeah.

-Cool. -It was nice to meet you.

If life is

Gonna fuck me, it better

That's it?

Call me mommy...

No, actually.

Um...

if you ever need a publicist, hit me up.

A publicist?

Wonderful.

Great.

[laughing]

Chaos...

A publicist, bro?

[groans]

All right. I see you, Dani.

Shoot. [laughs]

[exhales] Okay.

-What, what's wrong? -I'm afraid I'll hurt you.

Well, I thought you knew your way around down there.

Well, the thing is,

my high school girlfriend and I,

we, like, did stuff, but we didn't...

Oh, you've never had sex?

Technically, no.

-No shame. -No, but, yeah.

We just never really felt ready.

Okay, but you want to bone your new guy or no?

That's, like, a big question to ask before I penetrate you.

[chuckles] Okay, it felt natch to me.

Well, he asked me to go away

-with him and I-- -OMG, are you gonna do it?

-I want to but... -But what?

Ask me anything. I'm an open book.

I just don't even know like how it starts.

Okay.

My experience is, like,

it will be super awkward and quiet,

and then I'll lean in and kiss whoever it is,

and then it sort of just goes from there.

-Cool. -With consent, of course.

Of course, yeah, we love consent.

[chuckles] We sure do. Then clothes come off.

You touch him. He touches you.

Usually, they're, like, a little off.

Off, how?

Hmm, they miss. They think

they're on your clit and they're rubbing your labio

-like they're DJing in Ibiza. -Ew.

-[imitates drumbeat] -Stop it.

-Stop doing that. -[laughing]

Oh, yeah.

Boys are usually total dummies about sex.

You just have to guide them a little bit.

Tell them what you like.

Like, literally, spell it out for them.

PowerPoint presentation that pussy.

And I'll just know what I want.

[Bella] Yeah, you got to trust your instincts.

You probably know a lot more than you think.

-Okay. -Okay.

I'm ready.

Okay.

[laughing]

Okay, please let me know if I hurt you.

Mm-hmm. Just-just do it.

-Do it. -Okay. Ready? Here we go.

[humming]

[exhales]

Mm. Mm.

-I got it. I got it! -Oh, my God!

-Thank you! -Oh, my God, ew, ew, ew.

I knew you could do it! I knew you could do it!

I feel really accomplished!

-Yes! -Oh.

-Good, good. Oh, my God. -Wow. Wow.

Oh, well, now you just got to do a little something for yourself.

Like what?

Like this.

Here.

Yeah, we are fired up.

[movie playing quietly]

[quiet chatter]

Uh, excuse me,

can you please move?

I'm trying to watch the movie.

Oh, it's just gonna take a second.

You're being rude.

I'm trying to spy on my girlfriend.

[quiet chatter continues]

Hey, actually, what do you think?

You think they look like they're on a date?

Or do you think that could be,

like, her cousin or something? It's hard to tell.

I can't...

I can't really tell from here. Can you?

[actress] That's the most exciting thing

-anyone's ever done for me. -[Dolores] Ooh.

Well, let's hope they're not full-blood.

What the actual fuck, Taylor?

-You're on a date? -Alice?

What are you doing here?

[people murmuring]

[actor] Are you crazy?

Hey, hey.

You lied to me.

Sit down, lady.

Okay, this is just gonna take a second, sir,

so just pipe down.

You told me you were working and you're clearly on a date.

I know.

I'm sorry.

I shouldn't have lied to you about having to work.

[Alice] Yeah, no shit.

I thought we were, like, a thing.

We are a thing.

And we can be a thing, too. We just don't know yet,

because we're dating.

Yeah, we're dating.

Yes, this is dating. We date each other

and we date other people.

Uh, since when?

Since the beginning of time, as far as I know.

Well, I wish somebody had told me.

Namely you.

I thought you knew.

And I definitely thought

you were dating other people, too.

-Why would you think that? -I don't know.

You're famous.

-[groans] -[phone camera clicks]

Who is she?

-[Alice] Okay... -Is it Ellen?

No. Okay, that is such a bullshit excuse.

-I should just go. -No.

-What? -No, you should stay.

Alice...

It's not an excuse. Okay? It's just a fact.

I like you.

But I also like my regular life.

And those two things don't naturally go together

because we just live in different worlds.

You with the reg-- Oh, my God, I'm normal.

I have normal friends.

No. You're not.

And you haven't been for so long you can't even see it.

No. No, you know what?

I think you're looking for things that are wrong

because this is right.

Did you ever think of that? Did that ever occur to you?

That maybe this is about you and not about me?

I just need to go slow.

You know, just turn the heat down a little.

And I guess I just didn't know how to tell you that.

Well, this way sucked.

-For all of us. -Sit down.

-Oh, shut it, mister. -Yeah.

You never had a little dating drama in your life?

No.

I'm sorry... I lied to you. I really am.

Yeah, I am, too.

You like her more than me?

Alice.

You didn't have to answer that.

Well, enjoy your movie.

By the way, he dies in the end!

-Come on, lady! -[others shouting]

Okay, okay, let's just think of another way to pick a donor.

Right? Let's, uh, not focus on perfection.

What are we looking for?

I guess you.

[chuckles softly]

You have managed to both flatter me and insult me?

Only you can really do that.

Oh, thanks.

Okay, so, who are you?

Uh...

Okay, me, uh...

Who am I? Um...

I am Chinese American.

-That feels important. -Of course.

Uh, I don't know, I'm anxious.

-[chuckles] -You want our kid to be anxious?

No, no, of course not. I'm just describing myself.

You like books.

That's true. I do.

But, I mean, is there a section for that?

I see, uh,

favorites animal, favorite person,

education, food. I mean...

[exhales] This is really making me sad.

Yeah.

Yeah, me too.

You know, this was supposed to be really fun,

and it's just depressing, really.

I just wish we could make a baby

that's part of you and part of me and...

-Yeah, me too. -[exhales softly]

Cis-heads can just get drunk and do this on accident,

but we have to self-reflect and...

Oh, cis-heads definitely need

to be doing some self-reflecting, too.

-And there should be a test. -Right?

There's a test for everything, except to be a parent.

-Any idiot could do it. -Oh, and they do.

All the time.

Okay, maybe we just have to

figure out what we have in common.

So the baby, like, fits in our family, you know?

Yeah.

-Yeah, I love that idea. -Okay.

Okay. All right.

Well, let's see if shit-talking is a category.

Oh, yeah, yeah, it's right here.

-Under religion. -Wow. [laughs]

[Tess] I thought you were it for me.

Yeah, I never...

let myself think about the future.

'Cause my mom,

she always made all of these big promises,

every time she got a new gig, or met a new guy.

And none of them ever panned out.

So...

I just stopped thinking long-term.

[Shane] Yep.

And I've tried,

but I've never been able to think long-term.

I let myself with you though.

I saw my life with you.

Us getting old together.

I've never been able to do that with anyone.

But it can't happen.

Unless you really

try to figure out why it is you do what you do.

Because if you don't, we're just gonna end up

right back here and I can't do this again.

It's just too painful. Do you understand that?

I'm not happy, Tess.

soft, somber music

[exhales softly]

[sighs]

-Hey. Tess. -[crying]

No, I'm so sorry, I can't do this back-and-forth.

I just, I need to get off this fucking ride.

-[laughing] -Oh, my God! No.

Just not. Definitely.

How do you even do that?

Hmm.

[Bella] Okay, uh.... let's see.

Oh, what about this one?

-Yeah, I like her. -Yeah.

[both giggling]

She's all like, I'm cute, I'm compact...

And I get shit done.

-Sure. -Yeah.

Oh, God, you're hilarious.

He's lucky to have you.

-[chuckles] Thanks, Bella. -Mm.

-That's super sweet. -Mm-hmm. [chuckles]

Okay, purchased.

-Oh, I should get one, too. -But, like, in different colors.

So we don't mix them up.

[chuckles] Oh, my God.

Such a good call. [laughs]

Thank you so much.

Yep, yep. That is the right move.

[Tess sighs]

[door opens]

[Finley] Hey, Mack. Where's your mama?

-Oh, my God. -[Finley] Shane?

Oh, my God. Finley!

Open, open the door, open the door.

[Finley] Hi, okay.

[laughing]

Hey.

Oh, my God, I was wondering why you weren't answering my texts.

[Tess] Oh, God.

-I, uh-- what happened? -[Shane] Thank you.

I'm gonna get my stuff and I'll take the dog.

What? That's it? You're just gonna go?

Yeah.

I don't know what else to do, Tess.

I can't keep hurting you, so...

I think this is for the best.

slow, somber music

[quietly] Oh, my God.

[sighs]

I had a shit day, too.

It's okay.

-Ready? -Yeah.

[Micah sighs]

[clicks]

No fucking results?

-[exhales] -You got to be kidding me.

Back to the Tupperware?

Yeah.

"Different" by Wild Story

Keep trying to fit inside the lines now

What if we never do?

Sick of standing on the outside

Of a crowded room

Rainbows in our eyes can't seem to find

The great divide and get to the bottom

Could be somebody else

But who the hell will tell themselves

It's us that's the problem

Sometimes it feels like

Nobody is listening

Sharks in the water

But I just keep swimming

We'll never fit in with the rest

We've all got monsters under beds

- We'll never change it -[sighs]

'Cause, darling, we're different

Would they notice if we got lost?

If we disappeared?

Tell me right after this rainstorm

That the smoke will clear

Looking at our dreams

On movie screens and magazines

-[phone buzzing] - Don't see a reflection

Could be somebody else

But who the hell will tell themselves

Hey.

It's us that's the problem

Outside? Here?

Now?

Okay.

We'll never change it

'Cause, darling, we're different

[groans]

Sorry I closed the bar early.

It's fine.

I'll pay you back whatever I lost.

I'm sure it wasn't much.

Or you can just take it out of my paycheck.

But maybe not all at once.

Or just do whatever you think is best.

[chuckles softly]

-It's fine. -Also,

we might owe the fire department a couple thousand dollars.

-[chuckles softly] -But it was that or drink.

So I just thought it was best to get the hell out of there.

Mm.

I'm talking because I felt like

whatever happened out there was bad,

and I want to make it better, but I don't know how to, so...

gentle music

We need to go to a meeting.

-Yeah. Yeah. -Yeah.

-Um, let's go to a meeting. -Okay, yeah, let's do that.

-Let's, um-- -That's a good idea.

-Yeah. -[clears throat]

[both chuckle]

All right. We got ice cream.

-Mm-hmm. -Popcorn. Here we go.

Yeah, for sure.

Oh. God.

-What happened tonight was... -Oh, my gosh.

It was... gay, so very gay.

There really aren't enough of us.

Mm-mm. You know...

you should hit them streets

and start recruiting some more people.

I'm sure they'd sign up in a heartbeat.

[both laughing]

Right.

Mm.

You know, I, um...

I haven't really let myself think about Dre since we met.

[chuckles softly]

God, we had the best weekend together.

[chuckles] It was like I was in a different life

for a minute or something.

I can imagine.

I don't have to imagine, actually.

I have my own version of them right up here.

Yeah, that's right.

Mm-hmm.

You know, if... if you're into them

and you wanna see where it goes, like, don't--

-Mm. No. -I'm--

No, no, no, no. No, no. No.

I'm not gonna do that to you.

You know me. Loyal like a dog.

Yeah.

-Mm! -Hmm?

We should watch the director's cut of The Wedding Planner.

-Oh, my God. Yes, we should. -Yes.

And you know why?

Because, you know, it just makes me feel good

knowing that J.Lo's heel just so happens to be

the exact same size as a manhole cover hole.

You remember that shit?

That is what makes it fate though.

-I know, it's fucking fate. -It's fate.

-[exhales] -Oh, wait, what does he say?

[as Matthew McConaughey] "I have no idea

why you became a wedding planner, Mary.

But I know the curves of your face.

[laughing]

And I know every fleck of gold in your eyes.

And I know that that night in the park

was the best night I ever had."

So good.

Okay, you've definitely seen it too many times.

Oh, fuck, yeah. Again and again and again.

-By the way, he dies in the end. -Come on, lady!

Okay, stop. I can't watch it anymore.

-Stop. -Wow, they really turned on you.

[sighs] I know.

Can you blame them?

Okay, it wasn't my finest moment.

[laughing] You look insane.

Okay! Okay. Okay.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

And it looks like I ate both tubs of popcorn.

Did you eat both popcorns?

Well, yeah, I mean...

Duh.

-All right. -[sighs]

You know, it's not like it was even right with Taylor...

Or anyone lately.

Do you ever think that maybe this "not right" thing...

...has more to do with you?

-No. -No?

-Mm-mm. -All right.

[exhales]

You okay?

No.

No, no, I'm not. I'm not okay.

I, uh...

I ruined it.

I ruined it. With Tess.

No, she loves you.

Yeah, but that's not enough.

Well, look at us.

-Oh, yeah. -[Mack snoring]

"We'll All Be Alright" by Amy Stroup

You want to be the little spoon?

No one's ever asked me that.

We'll all, we will all, we will all be alright

Yeah, I'll be the little spoon.

You got it.

Love of mine

We'll all, we will all, we will all be alright

We'll all, we will all, we will all be alright

Ah, ah, ah