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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:04,004 pulsing, energetic music 2 00:00:04,045 --> 00:00:05,714 [Dani] How'd it go with Nat? 3 00:00:05,755 --> 00:00:08,425 Did she give us permission to live together? 4 00:00:08,466 --> 00:00:09,676 She didn't say no. 5 00:00:09,759 --> 00:00:11,386 She just said she wants to know you better. 6 00:00:11,469 --> 00:00:12,762 Are you dating me or her? 7 00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:13,930 Oh, my. Daniela... 8 00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:15,724 I think I'm gonna go back to school. 9 00:00:15,765 --> 00:00:17,767 [Sophie] I mean, wow, that's incredible. 10 00:00:17,809 --> 00:00:19,269 [Angie] Are you breaking up with me? 11 00:00:19,352 --> 00:00:22,063 Worst first night of college ever. 12 00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:23,606 [Kayla]   I mean, you're single and in L.A. 13 00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:24,941 Ooh. 14 00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:27,819 This could be, like, my ho phase. 15 00:00:27,902 --> 00:00:30,488 [Shane]   You and me, let's open that second bar. 16 00:00:30,572 --> 00:00:32,407 I'll do anything with you. 17 00:00:32,490 --> 00:00:35,452 Oh, no. You've got the itch. 18 00:00:35,493 --> 00:00:36,494 What itch? 19 00:00:36,536 --> 00:00:37,537 [Alice] Things get too real, 20 00:00:37,620 --> 00:00:39,122 you get restless, 21 00:00:39,205 --> 00:00:41,374 and then you start to, like, wiggle. 22 00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:42,459 Please. I don't wiggle. 23 00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:43,460 I need to go. 24 00:00:43,501 --> 00:00:44,794 [Alice and Bette] Yes. 25 00:00:44,836 --> 00:00:46,379 [Bette]   I need to go! Oh, my God. 26 00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:49,049 [Tina]   You're... you're not thinking clearly. 27 00:00:49,132 --> 00:00:50,133 You love it here. 28 00:00:50,216 --> 00:00:51,801 You love your friends and your job. 29 00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:53,011 [Bette] That's true. 30 00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:55,638 That's all true, but I love you more. 31 00:00:56,139 --> 00:00:58,099 Please, may I come with you? 32 00:00:58,141 --> 00:00:59,934 No, they just have something real, you know. 33 00:01:00,018 --> 00:01:01,102 That would be nice. 34 00:01:01,186 --> 00:01:02,896 [Daniela] I'm sorry for reacting 35 00:01:02,979 --> 00:01:04,481 the way I did earlier. 36 00:01:04,522 --> 00:01:06,191 I love you. 37 00:01:06,274 --> 00:01:08,651 38 00:01:10,945 --> 00:01:13,073 I don't find trouble, yeah 39 00:01:13,156 --> 00:01:15,241 Trouble finds me 40 00:01:17,577 --> 00:01:19,913 [sirens wailing] 41 00:01:19,996 --> 00:01:22,290 [helicopter blades whirring] 42 00:01:22,332 --> 00:01:24,000 [indistinct radio chatter] 43 00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:25,085 You look good, 44 00:01:25,168 --> 00:01:26,711 but we should bring you in for observation. 45 00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:28,963 [Gigi] Okay. Thank you so much. 46 00:01:29,589 --> 00:01:30,715 [paramedic] White female, conscious, 47 00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:32,217 presenting with head injuries... 48 00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:33,384 Hi. 49 00:01:33,468 --> 00:01:35,011 Hey, you. 50 00:01:36,721 --> 00:01:38,681 gentle music 51 00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:40,308 52 00:01:40,391 --> 00:01:42,143 -Whoa. -That's my face. 53 00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:43,937 -Sorry. -Mm. 54 00:01:43,978 --> 00:01:46,981 I think I might have just pressed glass into your skin. 55 00:01:47,023 --> 00:01:49,484 You've always been good in crisis. 56 00:01:49,567 --> 00:01:51,486 -Yeah. -[paramedic] Sorry, ma'am. 57 00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:00,745 [Dani] Hey, I'm looking for my girlfriend. 58 00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:02,413 -[paramedic] Yeah, she's there. -[Dani] Oh, thank you. 59 00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:03,373 Hey. 60 00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:04,582 Hey, I got here as fast as I could. 61 00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:06,000 Great. 62 00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:07,961 Oh, my God. 63 00:02:09,838 --> 00:02:12,423 -Are you okay? -I am okay. 64 00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:14,425 [Nat] I'll just wait outside. 65 00:02:14,509 --> 00:02:17,428 -Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. -Sorry. 66 00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:23,351 I'll be right back, okay? 67 00:02:23,434 --> 00:02:25,228 Nat? 68 00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:27,397 [Dani sighs] 69 00:02:29,023 --> 00:02:30,817 Uh, thank you for getting here 70 00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:32,318 -as fast as you did. -Oh. 71 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:34,279 Yeah, I'm her emergency contact, 72 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:36,239 so I had a head start. 73 00:02:36,322 --> 00:02:38,158 Oh, well, that's... 74 00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:40,785 Which we should change, you know? 75 00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:41,953 It should be you. 76 00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:42,912 Right. 77 00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:43,997 [paramedic] Only one of you can ride. 78 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:45,123 Oh, that-that's me. 79 00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:46,583 Yeah. 80 00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:49,210 [Nat] Well, call me if you need anything. 81 00:02:49,294 --> 00:02:51,212 I'll be around. 82 00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:54,883 "Trouble's Comin'" by Rayelle 83 00:02:54,924 --> 00:02:57,719 It's going down, down, down 84 00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:01,306 You can feel it all around, round, round 85 00:03:01,389 --> 00:03:04,976 Ain't no way to stop it now, now, now 86 00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:07,645 Better start running 87 00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:11,357 Running, running 88 00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:13,359 [stage bell ringing] 89 00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:14,569 [Alice] Can you believe 90 00:03:14,652 --> 00:03:16,779 they let me make this show a hundred times? 91 00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:19,073 Yes. It's gonna be a great show. 92 00:03:19,115 --> 00:03:20,909 Oh, my God, the dating show segment? 93 00:03:20,992 --> 00:03:22,327 -Yeah. -Genius. 94 00:03:22,368 --> 00:03:23,786 Thank you. The flowers look great. 95 00:03:23,828 --> 00:03:25,914 And all the contestants have been vetted, right? 96 00:03:25,997 --> 00:03:26,831 Yes. 97 00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:28,249 Okay, 'cause I'm looking for the one. 98 00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:29,626 Right. No cults, no mixed martial arts and... 99 00:03:29,667 --> 00:03:30,793 [assistant] What do you think? 100 00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:32,253 -Yes. -[assistant] You got it. 101 00:03:32,295 --> 00:03:34,631 ...no improvisers of any kind. 102 00:03:34,672 --> 00:03:36,424 Yeah, that last one's very important. 103 00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:38,593 -[sighs] -What if this really works? 104 00:03:38,676 --> 00:03:40,094 I mean, what if I find my person? 105 00:03:40,178 --> 00:03:42,180 -Oh, my God! Yeah. -Wouldn't it be amazing? 106 00:03:42,263 --> 00:03:44,724 -Soso and Allyce? -That's us. 107 00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:46,392 I'm sorry if I'm butchering those. 108 00:03:46,434 --> 00:03:50,355 My coworker Kim here got bit by a pig at her family reunion 109 00:03:50,438 --> 00:03:52,190 and her thumb hasn't been the same. 110 00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:54,692 -Oh, sorry about your thumb. -[Kim] Thanks. 111 00:03:54,734 --> 00:03:56,736 Right, well, I'll see you out there. 112 00:03:56,778 --> 00:03:57,862 Okay. 113 00:03:57,946 --> 00:03:59,781 Oh. 114 00:03:59,864 --> 00:04:02,033 Oh! You. Alice. 115 00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:04,035 Uh, yeah, that's me. [chuckles] 116 00:04:04,118 --> 00:04:05,286 [Taylor] Yeah, I mean, 117 00:04:05,328 --> 00:04:07,288 I guess I shouldn't be surprised given where I am, 118 00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:08,581 I mean, physically... 119 00:04:08,623 --> 00:04:10,375 -Oh, in the... -Here. Yeah. 120 00:04:10,458 --> 00:04:11,834 -Yeah. Lines up. -Yeah. 121 00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:13,294 'Cause the show's called   Alice... 122 00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:14,337 Hang on. 123 00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:16,005 I can add a little something special here. 124 00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:18,424 Kim usually does the latte art, 125 00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:21,052 but I'll give it my best shot. 126 00:04:22,428 --> 00:04:23,471 Ta-da. 127 00:04:23,554 --> 00:04:25,181 -Oh, you made a, um... -I can do a heart, 128 00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:26,808 but that just felt a little obvious, 129 00:04:26,849 --> 00:04:28,017 so I went with chaos. 130 00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:29,560 Or a little modern art. 131 00:04:29,602 --> 00:04:30,979 [chuckling] It was nice to meet you. 132 00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:32,647 -Yeah, you, too. -Good luck on the show. 133 00:04:32,730 --> 00:04:34,941 Oh, are you gonna stay and watch? 134 00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:36,150 [Taylor] No, no, no, no. 135 00:04:36,234 --> 00:04:38,069 Um, I'll have to overanalyze this conversation 136 00:04:38,152 --> 00:04:39,487 for like two hours, so... 137 00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:40,822 Why? It's going so well. 138 00:04:40,863 --> 00:04:41,990 [laughs] 139 00:04:42,031 --> 00:04:43,324 No, you should stay and watch. 140 00:04:43,366 --> 00:04:44,993 It's-it's nice to have real fans in the audience 141 00:04:45,076 --> 00:04:47,328 and not just confused tourists who think 142 00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:48,663 they're here to see Ellen. 143 00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:50,707 [chuckling] Sold. 144 00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:52,333 Okay, great. 145 00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:53,710 slow, wistful music 146 00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:56,963 147 00:05:05,596 --> 00:05:07,932 [door opens] 148 00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:10,685 [door closes] 149 00:05:10,768 --> 00:05:12,186 -Hey. -Hey. 150 00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:16,107 Going to the new bar. Want to break some shit? 151 00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:18,192 -Uh... yeah. -Yeah? 152 00:05:18,234 --> 00:05:20,236 That actually sounds like a dream come true. 153 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:21,237 [Shane] Let's go. 154 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,197 [Finley] Holy shit. 155 00:05:23,239 --> 00:05:25,867 -[Shane] Let's have some fun. - "Pony" by Ginuwine 156 00:05:25,908 --> 00:05:29,454 I'm just a bachelor 157 00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:32,749 I'm looking for a partner 158 00:05:32,790 --> 00:05:36,461 Someone who knows how to ride 159 00:05:36,544 --> 00:05:40,173 Without even falling off 160 00:05:40,214 --> 00:05:43,468 Got to be compatible 161 00:05:43,509 --> 00:05:46,637 Takes me to my limits 162 00:05:46,679 --> 00:05:49,891 Girl, when I break you off 163 00:05:49,932 --> 00:05:53,186 I promise that you won't wanna get off 164 00:05:53,269 --> 00:05:54,562 If you're horny 165 00:05:54,645 --> 00:06:00,401 Let's do it, ride it, my pony 166 00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:03,738 My saddle's waiting 167 00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:07,241 Come and jump on it 168 00:06:07,283 --> 00:06:09,619 If you're horny, let's do it 169 00:06:09,702 --> 00:06:13,498 Ride it, my pony 170 00:06:13,539 --> 00:06:16,667 My saddle's waiting 171 00:06:16,709 --> 00:06:21,214 Come and jump on it 172 00:06:21,547 --> 00:06:24,342 [grunting] 173 00:06:24,425 --> 00:06:26,177 Hey. 174 00:06:26,260 --> 00:06:27,387 [panting] 175 00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:30,348 You think I'd be, like, good at school? 176 00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,642 [panting] What? 177 00:06:32,683 --> 00:06:35,561 You know, like, college. 178 00:06:39,190 --> 00:06:41,526 I don't know. Were you any good before? 179 00:06:41,984 --> 00:06:44,487 -No, not really. -[door opens] 180 00:06:45,029 --> 00:06:48,366 Yes, I love that place. I'll meet you there. Um... 181 00:06:48,449 --> 00:06:51,077 Sorry, can you hold on just one second. 182 00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:54,956 Um, hi. What the hell do the two of you think you're doing? 183 00:06:55,039 --> 00:06:56,332 We don't start demo until tomorrow. 184 00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:57,875 [Shane] I know. I know, I know, I know, 185 00:06:57,959 --> 00:06:59,585 but we got a head start, and look how much we got done. 186 00:06:59,669 --> 00:07:00,711 I mean, check that out. 187 00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:03,005 Come on. Come on, have a whack. 188 00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:05,633 It's a maj stress reliever. Have a whack. 189 00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:07,885 No, Finley, I don't want to give it a whack. 190 00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:10,471 All right. Your loss. 191 00:07:10,555 --> 00:07:12,765 Oh, shit! Fuck! 192 00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:13,724 Okay. 193 00:07:13,808 --> 00:07:15,893 I'm gonna stop the water. 194 00:07:15,977 --> 00:07:17,270 I got it! I got it! 195 00:07:17,311 --> 00:07:18,604 Finley, go around the corner. 196 00:07:18,646 --> 00:07:20,648 It's not a big deal, Tess. 197 00:07:20,731 --> 00:07:22,024 -Truly. Just calm down. -You there? 198 00:07:22,066 --> 00:07:24,277 Yeah, actually, can you meet me here? 199 00:07:24,318 --> 00:07:26,612 Great, I'm gonna text you the address right now. 200 00:07:26,654 --> 00:07:28,156 Okay, bye. 201 00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:29,866 This is exactly why 202 00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:31,659 you should not be fucking around in here. 203 00:07:31,742 --> 00:07:33,077 -It's just... -[Tess] I have got so much 204 00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:35,037 on my plate already and now, this. 205 00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:37,457 -Tess, it's just an accident. -You're gonna have to tell Alice 206 00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:38,708 that I can't make it tonight 207 00:07:38,749 --> 00:07:40,460 because I'm gonna be here waiting for a plumber. 208 00:07:40,501 --> 00:07:41,752 [Shane] Why? No, no, no. 209 00:07:41,794 --> 00:07:44,297 I can help with that. 210 00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:48,634 Your help is how this happened. So thanks, but no thanks. 211 00:07:48,676 --> 00:07:50,136 [Shane sighs] 212 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:52,722 [panting] All right, then. 213 00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:55,266 I should just stay out of your way then. 214 00:07:55,349 --> 00:07:57,268 Hmm? 215 00:07:57,351 --> 00:07:59,312 -Yeah. -Yeah, I will. 216 00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:03,483 [sighs] Oh, my God. 217 00:08:03,524 --> 00:08:04,984 slow, tranquil music 218 00:08:05,026 --> 00:08:06,986 [Sophie]   Did you get the chocolate fountain? 219 00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:10,615 [Dani] Yup. Whatever Alice wants, I'll make it happen. 220 00:08:10,698 --> 00:08:11,908 It's her show. [chuckles] 221 00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:13,951 -Oh, yeah. -Okay, leaving now. 222 00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:16,412 -All right, see you there. -Bye. 223 00:08:17,288 --> 00:08:18,498 Hi and bye. 224 00:08:18,539 --> 00:08:21,292 Have you seen my other earring? Is it in the bathroom? 225 00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:22,877 I didn't see it. 226 00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:25,713 Mm. I'm sorry. [kisses] 227 00:08:25,796 --> 00:08:26,839 Just borrow a pair of mine. 228 00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:29,675 Your car's gonna be here at 3:00. 229 00:08:29,717 --> 00:08:31,802 He's usually a little early, so... 230 00:08:31,886 --> 00:08:34,388 -[Gigi] Okay. -[knock on door] 231 00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:35,640 Not that early. 232 00:08:35,723 --> 00:08:38,017 Oh, it's... 233 00:08:38,809 --> 00:08:39,602 Nat. 234 00:08:39,685 --> 00:08:42,980 -Hi. -Hi. 235 00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:44,774 Um... 236 00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:47,109 Sorry, what are you... what are you doing here? 237 00:08:47,151 --> 00:08:50,154 Oh, hi. Uh, Gigi just called me. 238 00:08:50,238 --> 00:08:51,364 Oh. 239 00:08:51,447 --> 00:08:53,491 I can't get ready on my own, 240 00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:54,951 and I didn't want you to be late. 241 00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:56,619 Yeah. [chuckles] 242 00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:57,912 Happy to help. 243 00:08:57,954 --> 00:08:59,038 -Right. -Yeah. 244 00:08:59,121 --> 00:09:01,624 No. Sure, that's great. 245 00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:02,583 [chuckles] 246 00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:04,752 Yeah. Um, I will... 247 00:09:04,835 --> 00:09:06,546 see you... both 248 00:09:06,629 --> 00:09:07,964 at Alice's show later then? 249 00:09:08,005 --> 00:09:09,173 [Nat] Oh, yeah. 250 00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:10,216 I will be there. 251 00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:11,884 Margaret Cho is on my bucket list. 252 00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:13,970 -[chuckles] Not to... -Great. 253 00:09:14,053 --> 00:09:15,513 ...fuck, just meet. 254 00:09:15,596 --> 00:09:18,140 -Sure. Right. Um... -[chuckles] 255 00:09:18,182 --> 00:09:19,475 All right. I love you. 256 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:20,726 Love you. 257 00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,062 Bye! 258 00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:24,522 [door opens] 259 00:09:24,605 --> 00:09:25,648 -Hi! -Hi. 260 00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:27,108 -How are you doing? -[door closes] 261 00:09:27,149 --> 00:09:28,776 Uh, I feel like shit. 262 00:09:28,859 --> 00:09:31,237 -[chuckles] -But I'm on a lot of drugs. 263 00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:32,572 -Nice. -No, I'm good. 264 00:09:32,613 --> 00:09:35,408 Honestly... [stammers] I've had five days off. 265 00:09:35,449 --> 00:09:37,660 I can't remember the last time I had five days off. 266 00:09:37,743 --> 00:09:40,204 Oh. Well, I actually do remember. 267 00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:44,375 Yeah, it was when you got hand, foot and mouth from the kids, 268 00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:48,588 and I don't think you went out in public for, like, a week. 269 00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:49,672 Okay, fine. 270 00:09:49,755 --> 00:09:52,550 Last time was when I had hand, foot and mouth. 271 00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,135 Yeah. 272 00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:00,683 Do you want to talk about... 273 00:10:01,142 --> 00:10:03,978 ...what happened the other night? 274 00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:06,939 No. 275 00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:09,609 -[laughing] -All right. [chuckles] 276 00:10:10,192 --> 00:10:12,194 I mean, honestly, it was... 277 00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:13,821 it was nothing. 278 00:10:13,904 --> 00:10:15,364 -Yeah. -Yeah. 279 00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:17,825 -Right? -Mm. Yes. 280 00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:19,994 slow, somber music 281 00:10:20,077 --> 00:10:21,329 282 00:10:21,412 --> 00:10:23,873 Yeah, no, no. It's-it's good, Mom, I swear. 283 00:10:23,914 --> 00:10:26,959 Jordi's just... having trouble with boundaries 284 00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:28,753 and, like, texting me a lot. 285 00:10:28,836 --> 00:10:30,588 But I'm fine, you know? 286 00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,632 I'm-I'm excited for class, you know? 287 00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:34,383 I feel like it's, um... 288 00:10:34,425 --> 00:10:36,260 a fresh start, you know? 289 00:10:36,344 --> 00:10:37,970 Okay. I love you. 290 00:10:38,012 --> 00:10:40,681 Yes. Yes, yes, it's on my keychain. 291 00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:43,517 Okay. I love you. Bye. 292 00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:45,936 [soft chatter] 293 00:10:47,229 --> 00:10:51,525 Hey, y'all! Um, my name is Samuel Hendrix. 294 00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:52,902 I am your professor. 295 00:10:52,943 --> 00:10:57,031 We're gonna investigate our own individual creativity, 'kay? 296 00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:58,658 Um, I am a poet, 297 00:10:58,699 --> 00:11:01,202 a songwriter, a lousy piano player 298 00:11:01,243 --> 00:11:02,328 and I wrote a book once. 299 00:11:02,411 --> 00:11:03,788 That therefore qualifies me 300 00:11:03,871 --> 00:11:07,208 to be your Introduction to Creative Writing instructor. 301 00:11:07,249 --> 00:11:09,460 -Welcome, y'all. -[chuckling] 302 00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:11,462 -Okay... -[whispers] Fuck me. 303 00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:13,506 So... 304 00:11:13,547 --> 00:11:15,049 we're gonna... 305 00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:17,385 we're gonna jump right in. 306 00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:19,470 -Hey! -Hey! 307 00:11:19,553 --> 00:11:21,472 -Happy 100th. -[gasps] 308 00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:22,890 The chart. 309 00:11:22,973 --> 00:11:24,308 -Right? -Oh! 310 00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:25,726 God, where it all began. 311 00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:27,395 Just a reminder of your humble beginnings. 312 00:11:27,478 --> 00:11:28,688 I love it. Let's hang it. 313 00:11:28,771 --> 00:11:30,022 Take that down. I can't stand this picture. 314 00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:31,273 I did your hair for that. 315 00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:34,235 Well, I like my hair. I just... 316 00:11:34,318 --> 00:11:35,945 This is better. 317 00:11:35,986 --> 00:11:37,279 [Shane] Right? 318 00:11:37,321 --> 00:11:38,447 [Alice] Love it! 319 00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:40,616 -Ugh. Oh-- -Do you still talk to her? 320 00:11:40,658 --> 00:11:42,827 -No. No, no. -She was really cute. 321 00:11:42,910 --> 00:11:43,994 Um, Bette and Tina got me 322 00:11:44,036 --> 00:11:45,246 -those flowers. -That's nice. 323 00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:46,622 -Pretty. -Glad they're making it work. 324 00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:48,582 Mm. Tom got me a basket of Bic pens. 325 00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:51,627 -That's odd. -Well, you know, I turned down 326 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:52,962 -the marriage proposal. -Right. 327 00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:54,672 But he's still able to be a good friend. 328 00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:56,674 Or he's still hoping. 329 00:11:56,757 --> 00:11:57,591 [sighs] 330 00:11:57,633 --> 00:11:58,759 Honestly, either way is fine. 331 00:11:58,843 --> 00:11:59,927 Is this for me, too? 332 00:12:00,010 --> 00:12:01,429 -What? Oh, no, no, no, no, no. -This one. 333 00:12:01,470 --> 00:12:03,222 That's just my old hair products. 334 00:12:03,305 --> 00:12:04,515 Oh. Yeah, I don't want that. 335 00:12:04,598 --> 00:12:06,434 I know you don't, but Ivy does. 336 00:12:06,517 --> 00:12:09,562 And I figured I'd give 'em to her, so... 337 00:12:09,603 --> 00:12:10,563 Okay. 338 00:12:10,604 --> 00:12:11,939 Do you know where I can find her? 339 00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:13,941 -Yeah. Over here. -[clears throat] 340 00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:16,277 You two really hit it off the other night. 341 00:12:16,318 --> 00:12:18,487 -No, it was just work. -Mm. 342 00:12:18,529 --> 00:12:19,989 Where's Tess? 343 00:12:20,072 --> 00:12:23,159 Unfortunately, she's not able to make it. 344 00:12:23,659 --> 00:12:25,536 So she wanted me to send you her love. 345 00:12:25,619 --> 00:12:27,329 Well, I'm sorry she's gonna miss it. 346 00:12:27,371 --> 00:12:28,205 Me, too. 347 00:12:28,247 --> 00:12:30,082 Oh. Real quick-- 348 00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:31,250 don't sit in the front. 349 00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:32,585 I don't want to give too much away, 350 00:12:32,626 --> 00:12:34,420 but there is a lube slip-and-slide. 351 00:12:34,503 --> 00:12:35,671 It might get a little messy. 352 00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:38,090 How do you come up with this shit? 353 00:12:38,632 --> 00:12:40,509 Okay, so, VIPs are gonna hang 354 00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:41,844 -in the   Alice   lounge. -Huh. 355 00:12:41,927 --> 00:12:43,846 I got this queer winemaker to sponsor it. 356 00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:45,931 Um, the list is getting pretty long though, 357 00:12:45,973 --> 00:12:47,975 so I'm thinking we do overflow in the greenroom. 358 00:12:48,058 --> 00:12:49,727 All right, that sounds... good. 359 00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:50,770 I mean, that'll work. 360 00:12:50,853 --> 00:12:53,314 -Um... -Oh, hey, how's Gigi? 361 00:12:53,397 --> 00:12:56,108 Uh, you know, ribs take a while to heal. 362 00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:57,359 But other than that, she's fine. 363 00:12:57,401 --> 00:12:59,862 Okay. Well, hey, um... [clicks tongue] 364 00:12:59,945 --> 00:13:01,155 when's she's feeling better, 365 00:13:01,238 --> 00:13:03,073 why don't you guys come over for dinner? 366 00:13:03,115 --> 00:13:04,950 -With me and Finley. -Uh... 367 00:13:04,992 --> 00:13:06,410 M-Maybe. 368 00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:07,995 Ouch. 369 00:13:08,037 --> 00:13:09,163 I said maybe. 370 00:13:09,246 --> 00:13:10,831 -Come on. -[scoffs] 371 00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:12,792 -This bitch. - Didn't see that coming 372 00:13:12,833 --> 00:13:15,252 Didn't see that coming 373 00:13:15,294 --> 00:13:17,963 There's also, I think, like, a pipe or something 374 00:13:18,005 --> 00:13:19,799 -rattling in the ceiling. -Okay. 375 00:13:19,882 --> 00:13:20,800 Could be animals. 376 00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:22,718 -Rats. -[Finley] Uh-oh. 377 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:24,053 I stopped feeding 'em. 378 00:13:24,094 --> 00:13:25,471 Okay, I'm gonna check everything out. 379 00:13:25,554 --> 00:13:26,722 Okay, great. Thank you. 380 00:13:26,764 --> 00:13:28,265 If you need anything from me, just come 381 00:13:28,307 --> 00:13:29,391 and find me. I'll be here all day. 382 00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:30,643 -Sounds great. -'Kay. 383 00:13:30,684 --> 00:13:33,395 Tess, please don't stay here. 384 00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:35,689 I'm the one that broke the pipe. 385 00:13:35,731 --> 00:13:36,816 I know, but-- 386 00:13:36,857 --> 00:13:38,567 Listen, you shouldn't have to stay with the plumber. 387 00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,486 I-I want to. Really. Please? 388 00:13:40,569 --> 00:13:41,737 [stammers] No, it's fine. 389 00:13:41,779 --> 00:13:44,406 My sponsee's already on the way and-- 390 00:13:44,448 --> 00:13:46,116 I got the highlighter. I got the book. 391 00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:48,077 -I know the AA deal. -[chuckles softly] 392 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,412 -I can't ask you to do that. -No, 393 00:13:50,454 --> 00:13:51,455 you're not asking. 394 00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:52,748 Please? 395 00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:53,707 I want to. 396 00:13:53,791 --> 00:13:54,667 Let me make this right. 397 00:13:54,708 --> 00:13:56,335 Come on. Go be with Shane. 398 00:13:59,171 --> 00:14:00,297 I was... 399 00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:02,675 way harsh on her earlier. 400 00:14:02,716 --> 00:14:05,344 soft, somber music 401 00:14:05,427 --> 00:14:08,180 402 00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:10,307 [indistinct chatter] 403 00:14:10,349 --> 00:14:12,268 [Hendrix] Next week's gonna be a deep dive into structure, 404 00:14:12,309 --> 00:14:13,477 so be ready for that. 405 00:14:13,561 --> 00:14:15,312 Also, if you want to hear some great writing, 406 00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:17,857 my buddy is doing a reading at the campus bookstore. 407 00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:19,900 Hi, excuse me. Will you just wait one second? 408 00:14:19,984 --> 00:14:21,652 -Yeah. -Um, yeah, that's it. 409 00:14:21,735 --> 00:14:22,820 Um, hi. 410 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:26,991 Uh, I have a quick question for you. 411 00:14:27,032 --> 00:14:29,076 [quietly] Um... 412 00:14:29,159 --> 00:14:31,203 it is you, right? 413 00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:35,082 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I knew it was you. [laughs] 414 00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:36,083 [laughs] Hi! 415 00:14:36,166 --> 00:14:38,127 Um, yes, I just-- 416 00:14:38,168 --> 00:14:41,714 I wanted to say I'm sorry about... 417 00:14:41,755 --> 00:14:44,675 like, kissing you the other night. 418 00:14:44,758 --> 00:14:49,430 Um, just please know that won't, like, ever happen again. 419 00:14:49,471 --> 00:14:51,515 I had just broken up with my first girlfriend 420 00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:53,684 who I was in love with, and my moms are, like, 421 00:14:53,767 --> 00:14:55,352 getting back together, which is, like, a whole thing. 422 00:14:55,436 --> 00:14:58,647 And it's my-- it's my first week of college. 423 00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:00,149 Anyway, I just want you to know 424 00:15:00,190 --> 00:15:04,236 if-if you want me to, like, drop your class, I totally will. 425 00:15:04,778 --> 00:15:07,865 I'm happy you're in my class. 426 00:15:10,075 --> 00:15:11,535 Okay. 427 00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:13,037 Okay. Great. 428 00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:14,955 I'll see you next week? 429 00:15:15,706 --> 00:15:16,790 See ya. 430 00:15:16,832 --> 00:15:19,960 lighthearted music 431 00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:22,880 432 00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:29,094 [chuckles] 433 00:15:29,136 --> 00:15:30,471 [stage manager] Give Alice five. 434 00:15:30,554 --> 00:15:32,139 [assistant] I thought you gave Wardrobe ten. 435 00:15:32,222 --> 00:15:34,016 Yeah, but we got to give Alice five so she gets here on time. 436 00:15:34,058 --> 00:15:36,435 -Oh, gotcha. -[Shane] No, no, it's yours. 437 00:15:36,477 --> 00:15:38,604 Thank you. Thank you, thank you. 438 00:15:38,646 --> 00:15:39,980 -You don't need to thank me. -Five minutes. 439 00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:42,399 That was collecting dust in my garage. 440 00:15:42,441 --> 00:15:43,233 What? 441 00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:46,070 This is literally liquid gold. 442 00:15:46,153 --> 00:15:48,113 Y'all hear that? Nobody touch my shit. 443 00:15:48,155 --> 00:15:49,990 -This is a no-fly zone. -[hairdresser] Okay, okay. 444 00:15:50,074 --> 00:15:51,617 [announcer] 15 minutes, everyone. 445 00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:53,410 15 minutes till showtime. 446 00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:55,621 All right, I'm gonna go get my seat. 447 00:15:55,704 --> 00:15:57,998 You don't want to hang back here? 448 00:15:58,040 --> 00:15:59,583 This is where all the fun is. 449 00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:00,834 "All Diamonds" by Nightgames 450 00:16:00,876 --> 00:16:02,711 I'll find a place 451 00:16:02,753 --> 00:16:03,963 For myself... 452 00:16:04,004 --> 00:16:05,881 [comedian] I feel lots of love here, people. 453 00:16:05,923 --> 00:16:07,591 -[Dani] Okay. -[comedian] Uh-huh. 454 00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:09,093 -You know what time it is. -All right, can I get you 455 00:16:09,176 --> 00:16:11,220 any water or anything? You want some... 456 00:16:11,261 --> 00:16:13,013 Oh, I heard there was champagne. 457 00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:14,431 [audience whooping, laughing] 458 00:16:14,473 --> 00:16:17,184 No, you're-- I mean, you're probably busy. I-I could get it. 459 00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:19,228 -[Dani] No, I-I can get it. -You're so busy. 460 00:16:19,269 --> 00:16:20,104 I will get it. 461 00:16:20,187 --> 00:16:21,313 -You sure? Okay. -Yeah. 462 00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:22,356 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 463 00:16:22,398 --> 00:16:23,273 How you feeling? 464 00:16:23,357 --> 00:16:24,316 -You okay? -I'm fine. 465 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:25,734 -Go do your thing. -Okay. 466 00:16:25,776 --> 00:16:27,945 Well, the show starts in ten, 467 00:16:28,028 --> 00:16:30,030 if you need anything before then. 468 00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:31,031 [Nat] Oh! I do. 469 00:16:31,073 --> 00:16:33,701 Uh, these are for Alice. 470 00:16:33,742 --> 00:16:34,868 Yeah. I wanted 471 00:16:34,910 --> 00:16:36,328 to get her flowers, but the lady by the side 472 00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:39,081 of the freeway only had oranges today, so... 473 00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:39,999 there you go. 474 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:41,417 S-So you got oranges? 475 00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:42,501 [chuckles] Okay. 476 00:16:42,543 --> 00:16:43,544 -Yep. -Wonderful. 477 00:16:43,585 --> 00:16:45,546 I'll see she gets these. 478 00:16:45,629 --> 00:16:47,715 -Thanks. -Yeah. 479 00:16:47,798 --> 00:16:49,967 Mm-hmm. 480 00:16:50,592 --> 00:16:52,803 I feel like she didn't think that was funny. 481 00:16:52,886 --> 00:16:55,139 -I wouldn't take it personally. -[chuckles] 482 00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:56,849 'Kay. 483 00:16:56,890 --> 00:16:58,642 You got some fluff in your hair. 484 00:16:58,726 --> 00:16:59,727 Oh. 485 00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:01,979 -Thanks. -Mm-hmm. 486 00:17:02,062 --> 00:17:03,313 Got it? 487 00:17:03,897 --> 00:17:05,524 Hair's looking healthy. 488 00:17:05,607 --> 00:17:07,943 You finally using new products? 489 00:17:09,153 --> 00:17:10,446 Yeah, actually. 490 00:17:10,487 --> 00:17:13,824 It's, uh, called Grape Jelly by Eli. 491 00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:18,287 Yeah, it's applied by just flinging it across the table. 492 00:17:18,328 --> 00:17:19,997 -[chuckles] -It's in high demand. 493 00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:21,248 I'll try and get you his number. 494 00:17:21,331 --> 00:17:22,458 [snorts softly] 495 00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:24,710 [audience laughing] 496 00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:30,424 I saw you when I got hit. 497 00:17:30,924 --> 00:17:34,344 Yeah, I-I can't believe how fast I was able to get there. 498 00:17:34,428 --> 00:17:35,763 No. 499 00:17:36,263 --> 00:17:40,517 The way they say your life flashes before your eyes. 500 00:17:42,352 --> 00:17:45,230 I saw you and the kids. 501 00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:48,358 My family. 502 00:17:48,442 --> 00:17:51,195 soft, sentimental music 503 00:17:51,278 --> 00:17:53,655 I'm sure it was just... the adrenaline. 504 00:17:53,697 --> 00:17:55,115 -You know? That's all. -[Dani] Here you go. 505 00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:56,450 Oh, thank you. 506 00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:57,951 Yeah. 507 00:17:58,535 --> 00:18:00,287 [comedian] What are they? 508 00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:01,205 That's right. 509 00:18:01,288 --> 00:18:03,499 Um, she didn't bring you a glass. 510 00:18:03,540 --> 00:18:05,667 No. [laughs] 511 00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:07,586 You know what? That's okay. Actually, 512 00:18:07,628 --> 00:18:10,255 I think I have a reusable straw in here. 513 00:18:10,297 --> 00:18:11,924 -[chuckles softly] -Let's see. 514 00:18:11,965 --> 00:18:14,384 upbeat, funky music 515 00:18:14,426 --> 00:18:16,386 Na-na-na, na-na-na-na 516 00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:19,473 Na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na 517 00:18:19,515 --> 00:18:21,600 Whoo! Let's take it from the top now 518 00:18:21,683 --> 00:18:22,935 Take it from the top... 519 00:18:23,018 --> 00:18:24,353 Finley? 520 00:18:24,436 --> 00:18:25,687 -Hi! -Hi. 521 00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:26,897 -Carrie, right? -Yes, hi. 522 00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:28,148 -Hi, how are you? -I'm good. 523 00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:29,566 -Nice to meet you. -Thank you. You, too. 524 00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:31,568 You know, Tess described you so perfectly. 525 00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:33,612 -Oh. -She said, "Leonardo DiCaprio 526 00:18:33,654 --> 00:18:34,905 from   Romeo + Juliet." 527 00:18:34,988 --> 00:18:36,865 And with the hair and everything, I totally see it. 528 00:18:36,907 --> 00:18:40,035 Wow, that is weirdly the nicest thing anybody's ever said to me. 529 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:41,203 Wow. 530 00:18:41,286 --> 00:18:43,831 God, I must be on some kind of gender journey, huh? 531 00:18:43,872 --> 00:18:46,291 Yeah. I wouldn't know enough about that to say. 532 00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:48,043 -[chuckles softly] -So what do we do? 533 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,169 Uh, yeah, sit down. 534 00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:50,754 -Right here? -Yeah. 535 00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:51,713 Okay. 536 00:18:51,755 --> 00:18:53,882 Wait, so how do you know Tess? 537 00:18:53,924 --> 00:18:56,051 I hit rock bottom. I went on a bender. 538 00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:57,970 That's when Tess became my sponsor. 539 00:18:58,053 --> 00:18:59,596 So, I'm here 540 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:03,183 to tell you about the tsunami of depression that... 541 00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:04,935 kicked my ass after I found out 542 00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:07,437 that my fiancée got back with her ex. 543 00:19:07,521 --> 00:19:09,189 -Shit. [inhales sharply] -Yeah. 544 00:19:09,273 --> 00:19:12,067 Well, we got this puppy to guide us. 545 00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:14,069 -So, silver lining. -Okay. Right. 546 00:19:14,111 --> 00:19:15,404 -Yeah, it can't hurt, right? -Yeah. 547 00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:17,072 But, listen, I got to hit the head first. 548 00:19:17,114 --> 00:19:19,867 I, like, pounded, like, a gallon of iced tea on the way here. 549 00:19:19,950 --> 00:19:21,535 Course. Uh, the water's out in here, 550 00:19:21,577 --> 00:19:23,745 but right around the corner is Dana's. 551 00:19:23,787 --> 00:19:25,372 Pop in there, there's a bathroom. 552 00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:28,792 Okay, great. And, listen, I got a free sub with my punch card. 553 00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:30,335 If you want one, take it. 554 00:19:30,377 --> 00:19:32,045 Oh, sweet. Thanks. 555 00:19:32,087 --> 00:19:33,172 What-what is it? 556 00:19:33,255 --> 00:19:35,132 Uh, it's turkey and cheese, no dressing. 557 00:19:35,215 --> 00:19:37,092 I don't like wet bread. 558 00:19:37,801 --> 00:19:39,469 [door opens] 559 00:19:41,346 --> 00:19:42,264 Copy that. 560 00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:43,265 [door closes] 561 00:19:43,348 --> 00:19:46,727 Kegel and hold. Kegel and hold. 562 00:19:46,768 --> 00:19:47,895 Don't sneeze. 563 00:19:47,936 --> 00:19:49,980 Oh, no. Don't sneeze. 564 00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:51,064 Okay. 565 00:19:51,106 --> 00:19:53,025 Almost there. 566 00:19:56,820 --> 00:19:58,030 Oh, occupied! 567 00:19:58,071 --> 00:19:59,865 -Oh, geez! -Oh. 568 00:19:59,907 --> 00:20:01,366 -Oh, my, oh... -Oh, my God. 569 00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:03,452 -Oh, boy. Oh, boy. -No, no, no, no, no, oh, my God. 570 00:20:03,493 --> 00:20:04,745 Oh, my God, let me look at it. 571 00:20:04,828 --> 00:20:06,246 -Oh, it's really coming out. -Is it? Oh, no. 572 00:20:06,288 --> 00:20:07,414 There's no, um, toilet paper. 573 00:20:07,456 --> 00:20:09,708 -[laughs] You... -Oh, my God. 574 00:20:09,791 --> 00:20:11,251 -Oh, it hurts when I laugh. -Oh, my God. 575 00:20:11,335 --> 00:20:12,961 Oh, it's in my mouth. I taste the blood. 576 00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:14,421 -What do we do? -Oh, I have an idea. 577 00:20:14,463 --> 00:20:15,756 -Come here, come over here. -I need something. 578 00:20:15,839 --> 00:20:16,965 Come over here, come over here. 579 00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:18,759 [Misty] Okay, it's working. 580 00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:19,843 It feels okay, actually. 581 00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:21,470 -It looks amazing. -Thank you. 582 00:20:21,553 --> 00:20:22,512 [both laughing] 583 00:20:22,596 --> 00:20:23,972 Okay. Um, this one? 584 00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:25,265 -Yes? -I'm going to take it out, 585 00:20:25,349 --> 00:20:27,226 because it was kind of really bleeding, 586 00:20:27,267 --> 00:20:28,936 so I'm gonna stick a new one in. 587 00:20:29,019 --> 00:20:30,229 -Okay. Right. -Okay? 588 00:20:30,270 --> 00:20:31,563 Okay, here we go. You ready? 589 00:20:31,605 --> 00:20:32,564 -Go. Gentle. -Okay. 590 00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:34,608 Don't freak out, don't freak out. 591 00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:36,109 [exhales] We did it. 592 00:20:36,151 --> 00:20:37,236 Oh, I can breathe again. 593 00:20:37,277 --> 00:20:38,695 -Not for long. -You got it? 594 00:20:38,737 --> 00:20:41,073 -I'm going to jam it slowly... -Oh? Yeah, that's nice. 595 00:20:41,156 --> 00:20:42,574 -You okay? -Not too hard. 596 00:20:42,658 --> 00:20:43,867 -You good? -That's good. 597 00:20:43,951 --> 00:20:45,160 -[chuckles] Okay. -Thank you. 598 00:20:45,202 --> 00:20:46,703 -Looks good. -My name's Carrie. 599 00:20:46,787 --> 00:20:48,747 -I'm Misty. -It's nice to meet you. 600 00:20:48,830 --> 00:20:49,748 Nice to meet you, yeah. 601 00:20:49,831 --> 00:20:51,208 You do well under pressure. 602 00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:53,919 It's a good thing I know so much about leaky pipes, I guess. 603 00:20:53,961 --> 00:20:55,170 -Right. -Yeah. 604 00:20:55,212 --> 00:20:57,589 Holy shit, what the hell happened? 605 00:20:57,673 --> 00:20:59,174 -It's a long story. -Yes, it is. 606 00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:00,467 Yeah, we're all good, though. 607 00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:01,885 -Yeah, we're good. Yeah. -Yeah. Don't worry. 608 00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:03,345 Oh, there's, like, no toilet paper 609 00:21:03,387 --> 00:21:05,222 in this whole entire bathroom. 610 00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:06,515 Oh, that's actually my fault. 611 00:21:06,556 --> 00:21:08,350 I, um, yeah, I was supposed to do that. 612 00:21:08,433 --> 00:21:09,851 -[Misty] Okay. -Are you sure you're good? 613 00:21:09,893 --> 00:21:11,228 -Yeah, yeah. We're good. -We're good. 614 00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:12,688 -You're good. -We're good. 615 00:21:12,771 --> 00:21:15,649 [clears throat] Okay... 616 00:21:15,691 --> 00:21:17,067 Ooh, la, la... 617 00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:18,610 [Sophie]   All right, contestants, are you ready? 618 00:21:18,694 --> 00:21:20,320 Here are your microphones, all right? 619 00:21:20,404 --> 00:21:21,822 You're gonna talk into them like this, 620 00:21:21,905 --> 00:21:23,198 -blah, blah, blah. -[clattering] 621 00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:25,158 -Wait a minute. -Somebody cut her off. 622 00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:26,868 Where's contestant number three? 623 00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:28,453 [slurring] Are these Beyond Beef, 624 00:21:28,537 --> 00:21:29,746 or are these the real deal? 625 00:21:29,830 --> 00:21:32,457 [assistant] Guys, just be aware of what's going on. 626 00:21:33,166 --> 00:21:36,128 [muttering] Anybody-- you don't know. 627 00:21:36,211 --> 00:21:37,212 Mmm... [slurping] 628 00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:40,215 [gasps softly] Fuck my life. 629 00:21:40,299 --> 00:21:41,425 [exhales] 630 00:21:41,466 --> 00:21:43,260 [Alice] You know, I'm much better with emotional ties. 631 00:21:43,343 --> 00:21:44,511 [audience laughing] 632 00:21:44,594 --> 00:21:47,514 This feels a little more literal. 633 00:21:47,556 --> 00:21:48,765 [laughter] 634 00:21:48,807 --> 00:21:52,394 But it does remind me a lot of a relationship I was in once. 635 00:21:53,812 --> 00:21:54,980 Oh...! 636 00:21:55,022 --> 00:21:57,482 -[cheering] -[Alice] I did it! 637 00:21:57,524 --> 00:21:59,067 Thank you. 638 00:21:59,151 --> 00:22:01,403 [announcer] Hang tight, everyone. 639 00:22:01,486 --> 00:22:02,988 15 minutes until the next segment. 640 00:22:03,030 --> 00:22:05,240 There's nothing suspicious about anything you're doing. 641 00:22:05,282 --> 00:22:07,617 What, am I not being discrete? 642 00:22:07,659 --> 00:22:09,786 Uh, no. You'd be a terrible criminal. 643 00:22:09,828 --> 00:22:12,122 Oh, please. I could commit crimes. 644 00:22:12,205 --> 00:22:13,498 Yeah, and not get away with it. 645 00:22:13,582 --> 00:22:17,836 That's just mean. It's mean and it's wrong. 646 00:22:17,878 --> 00:22:20,339 [quietly] I could... kill. 647 00:22:22,007 --> 00:22:26,261 [chuckling] Or maybe pillage something. 648 00:22:29,890 --> 00:22:31,808 Can I tell you something? 649 00:22:31,892 --> 00:22:32,976 Mm-hmm. 650 00:22:33,060 --> 00:22:37,189 I keep trying to understand what I was feeling in that moment. 651 00:22:38,023 --> 00:22:41,693 Like, what it means that I saw you. 652 00:22:45,739 --> 00:22:48,533 Do you think it means anything? 653 00:22:52,287 --> 00:22:54,164 Are you smizing at me? 654 00:22:54,206 --> 00:22:55,332 Smizing? 655 00:22:55,374 --> 00:22:56,792 Smizing? From   Top Model? 656 00:22:56,875 --> 00:22:58,877 [chuckling] 657 00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:00,337 Can you please stop making me laugh? 658 00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:02,005 -My ribs are bruised. -What? What do you watch? 659 00:23:02,089 --> 00:23:03,757 My ribs are bruised. 660 00:23:03,799 --> 00:23:06,093 Well, stop saying ridiculous things. 661 00:23:06,134 --> 00:23:07,886 You're the one being ridiculous. 662 00:23:07,969 --> 00:23:10,889 Um, actually, you're the one with a head injury. 663 00:23:10,931 --> 00:23:14,559 You were concussed and now you're drinking on painkillers, 664 00:23:14,643 --> 00:23:18,146 so I'm pretty sure you're not thinking straight. 665 00:23:19,106 --> 00:23:20,607 Safe to say. 666 00:23:23,819 --> 00:23:25,904 -We met at 18. -I know. 667 00:23:25,946 --> 00:23:29,699 -Well, you were 19. -No, you're older than me. 668 00:23:29,783 --> 00:23:31,118 -No, I'm not. -Yes, you are. 669 00:23:31,159 --> 00:23:34,413 -I-I always mix that up. -I know, I don't understand. 670 00:23:34,496 --> 00:23:36,790 -You were 18? -Yes. 671 00:23:36,832 --> 00:23:38,375 [Nat chuckles] 672 00:23:38,417 --> 00:23:40,836 gentle music 673 00:23:40,919 --> 00:23:42,087 674 00:23:42,129 --> 00:23:43,922 [chuckles] 675 00:23:45,590 --> 00:23:46,967 -Dani, Dani, Dani! -Thank you so much. 676 00:23:47,008 --> 00:23:48,552 -Dani, I need a favor. -Thank you. 677 00:23:48,635 --> 00:23:50,387 Why don't you carry your own tampons? 678 00:23:50,470 --> 00:23:52,139 -What? No. I... -Hi. 679 00:23:52,180 --> 00:23:54,975 I-I lost a contestant for the dating game, 680 00:23:55,058 --> 00:23:56,101 and I need someone. 681 00:23:56,184 --> 00:23:57,269 Can you please do it for me? 682 00:23:57,352 --> 00:23:58,770 [stammering] It's in six, six minutes. 683 00:23:58,854 --> 00:24:00,814 No. I have to go get Billie Jean off the red carpet. 684 00:24:00,897 --> 00:24:02,149 She won't stop smiling for the cameras. 685 00:24:02,190 --> 00:24:03,442 You do it. You got it. Go. 686 00:24:03,525 --> 00:24:06,445 God! Why are you the worst? 687 00:24:10,365 --> 00:24:13,535 slow, dramatic music 688 00:24:13,618 --> 00:24:15,954 689 00:24:17,330 --> 00:24:19,541 [announcer]   All right, everyone in the audience, 690 00:24:19,624 --> 00:24:22,043 we are gonna start in just a few minutes. 691 00:24:22,127 --> 00:24:24,838 -Please take your seats. -[applause] 692 00:24:24,921 --> 00:24:27,007 intriguing music 693 00:24:27,090 --> 00:24:29,426 694 00:24:34,806 --> 00:24:38,602 You know, your timing could not have been more perfect, really. 695 00:24:38,685 --> 00:24:40,896 Well, I'm just glad it's getting put to some good use. 696 00:24:40,937 --> 00:24:42,522 [Ivy] You know, I think I need, like, 697 00:24:42,606 --> 00:24:43,732 a little bit of a revamp. 698 00:24:43,815 --> 00:24:45,609 I've just been on those dating apps. 699 00:24:45,692 --> 00:24:47,110 Like, they're terrible. 700 00:24:47,194 --> 00:24:49,863 -Oh, those dating apps... yeah. -Absolutely terrifying. 701 00:24:49,946 --> 00:24:53,158 Yeah. And I've been out the game for like... two years. 702 00:24:53,241 --> 00:24:54,409 -Two years, huh? -Yeah. 703 00:24:54,493 --> 00:24:56,536 -I had a kid. -I know you had a kid. 704 00:24:56,578 --> 00:24:58,580 You mentioned that when I met you. 705 00:24:58,622 --> 00:25:00,707 You don't seem like the type that wants to see pictures 706 00:25:00,749 --> 00:25:02,459 so I'm not gonna show you. 707 00:25:02,501 --> 00:25:04,461 I'd see, I'd see it if you'd like to show it to me. 708 00:25:04,503 --> 00:25:05,629 -Oh, yeah? -I'm not against it. 709 00:25:05,712 --> 00:25:06,713 Okay. [chuckles] 710 00:25:06,796 --> 00:25:08,548 She is everything 711 00:25:08,632 --> 00:25:10,634 and she has also sucked me dry. 712 00:25:10,717 --> 00:25:15,388 I just don't feel like myself all the way, you know? 713 00:25:17,015 --> 00:25:18,725 Yeah. 714 00:25:18,808 --> 00:25:20,810 Yeah. [clears throat] I can relate to that. 715 00:25:20,894 --> 00:25:23,772 I think I need to get back on the horse. 716 00:25:23,813 --> 00:25:26,233 I think you're gonna do just fine. 717 00:25:28,527 --> 00:25:31,571 Hi, guys. I need a favor. Um... 718 00:25:31,655 --> 00:25:33,782 Can you get her ready in, like, four minutes? 719 00:25:33,823 --> 00:25:36,660 -She's not talking to me. -We'll do it. 720 00:25:36,743 --> 00:25:37,827 -Yeah. -Oh, my God, amazing. 721 00:25:37,869 --> 00:25:39,037 -Okay, sit down. -Hi. 722 00:25:39,079 --> 00:25:40,372 -Hi. -What's your name? 723 00:25:40,413 --> 00:25:42,082 -Taylor. -Hi, Taylor. 724 00:25:42,165 --> 00:25:44,292 I'm Ivy, this is Shane. 725 00:25:45,001 --> 00:25:46,211 -Hey, Taylor. -Hey. 726 00:25:46,294 --> 00:25:48,171 Yeah, we're gonna take really good care of you. 727 00:25:48,213 --> 00:25:50,840 Do you have any do's, any don'ts? 728 00:25:50,924 --> 00:25:52,050 Uh, just no red lipstick. 729 00:25:52,133 --> 00:25:54,427 My mom subjected me to pageants as a toddler, 730 00:25:54,469 --> 00:25:55,804 so it's very triggering. 731 00:25:55,845 --> 00:25:58,306 Okay. Take it away. Do your thing. 732 00:26:01,434 --> 00:26:02,310 Taylor. 733 00:26:02,352 --> 00:26:04,729 -[chuckles softly] -May I? 734 00:26:04,771 --> 00:26:06,189 Yeah. 735 00:26:06,231 --> 00:26:07,899 [producer] And we're rolling. 736 00:26:07,983 --> 00:26:10,360 [applause and cheering] 737 00:26:10,443 --> 00:26:14,239 [Alice] Welcome back to my 100th episode. 738 00:26:14,698 --> 00:26:16,950 As many of you know, I'm currently single, 739 00:26:16,992 --> 00:26:19,244 so I figured what better way to meet someone, 740 00:26:19,327 --> 00:26:21,913 than on TV in front of a studio audience? 741 00:26:21,997 --> 00:26:24,749 -[laughter] -So to help me out today, 742 00:26:24,791 --> 00:26:28,545 we've brought the original bisexual comedienne, 743 00:26:28,628 --> 00:26:31,715 a woman who has paved the way for so many of us, 744 00:26:31,756 --> 00:26:36,553 my first crush, my friend, Margaret Cho! 745 00:26:36,595 --> 00:26:38,096 [cheering] 746 00:26:38,179 --> 00:26:40,724 [upbeat music playing] 747 00:26:40,807 --> 00:26:42,225 Hey! 748 00:26:43,935 --> 00:26:45,145 Thank you! 749 00:26:45,186 --> 00:26:46,771 Oh, this is so exciting. 750 00:26:46,855 --> 00:26:50,692 So, you know how this works, we have some contestants, 751 00:26:50,775 --> 00:26:52,736 we're gonna ask them some questions. 752 00:26:52,777 --> 00:26:53,987 Alice is gonna decide 753 00:26:54,070 --> 00:26:56,072 amongst three candidates who's best, right? 754 00:26:56,156 --> 00:26:57,574 Yes, well, you're going to help me. 755 00:26:57,657 --> 00:27:00,118 [Margaret] I'm gonna be making some snide commentary 756 00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:02,120 -from over here... -[laughter] 757 00:27:02,162 --> 00:27:03,288 It's gonna be so fabulous. 758 00:27:03,330 --> 00:27:04,789 -I'm so excited. -Sounds dreamy. 759 00:27:04,873 --> 00:27:06,333 -Let's start. Okay. -I love it. 760 00:27:06,374 --> 00:27:09,461 [cheering] 761 00:27:10,170 --> 00:27:11,129 Okay. 762 00:27:11,171 --> 00:27:12,130 Contestant number one, 763 00:27:12,213 --> 00:27:13,256 tell me about yourself. 764 00:27:13,340 --> 00:27:14,966 -Hi, Alice. -Oh. 765 00:27:15,050 --> 00:27:18,219 -Ooh, that is a deep baritone. -Okay. 766 00:27:18,303 --> 00:27:19,220 I'm into it. 767 00:27:19,304 --> 00:27:20,722 I'm from a small town in Montana, 768 00:27:20,764 --> 00:27:23,308 where rush hour is a moose in the road. 769 00:27:23,391 --> 00:27:25,310 Oh, this is gonna be simple. 770 00:27:25,352 --> 00:27:26,686 Um, Ivy, can you grab me 771 00:27:26,770 --> 00:27:28,271 that product in your bag? 772 00:27:28,313 --> 00:27:30,982 Yeah, I just want to see what it is. 773 00:27:31,858 --> 00:27:32,942 No. 774 00:27:33,026 --> 00:27:35,028 Uh, just find a nice backdrop outside or something. 775 00:27:35,070 --> 00:27:38,365 Get singles, get groups. I need options. 776 00:27:38,406 --> 00:27:39,658 Thank you. Hi. 777 00:27:39,741 --> 00:27:42,077 Everything looks so good. 778 00:27:42,118 --> 00:27:43,536 Thank you. 779 00:27:43,578 --> 00:27:44,746 I'm gonna go home. 780 00:27:44,788 --> 00:27:48,708 Oh, it's early. Are you feeling okay? 781 00:27:48,750 --> 00:27:51,920 Yes, but I just really want to get back. 782 00:27:52,003 --> 00:27:54,089 Okay, okay. I'll call you a car. 783 00:27:54,130 --> 00:27:56,216 No, no, no. Don't worry about it. 784 00:27:56,299 --> 00:27:58,593 Nat's going to take me. 785 00:27:59,803 --> 00:28:01,388 [sighs heavily] 786 00:28:01,429 --> 00:28:03,056 What's going on? 787 00:28:03,139 --> 00:28:04,182 What do you mean? 788 00:28:04,265 --> 00:28:06,476 I mean, what's going on with you and Nat? 789 00:28:06,559 --> 00:28:09,688 -Nothing is going on. -Okay. 790 00:28:10,772 --> 00:28:12,315 -We can talk more later. -No. 791 00:28:12,357 --> 00:28:13,817 I'd like to talk about it now. 792 00:28:13,858 --> 00:28:15,860 [Alice] Contestant number one, 793 00:28:15,944 --> 00:28:18,738 why don't you tell me how you spend your days? 794 00:28:18,780 --> 00:28:20,407 I'm a veterinarian for a nonprofit 795 00:28:20,490 --> 00:28:22,909 that rescues animals from natural disasters. 796 00:28:22,951 --> 00:28:24,160 [audience] Aww. 797 00:28:24,244 --> 00:28:26,705 [laughs] He's perfect. 798 00:28:26,788 --> 00:28:29,082 Definitely a serial killer. 799 00:28:29,124 --> 00:28:31,084 [laughing] Agreed. 800 00:28:31,167 --> 00:28:33,712 Okay, let's move on to contestant number two. 801 00:28:33,795 --> 00:28:37,424 Can you beat the butt-dialing rescue vet from Montana? 802 00:28:37,507 --> 00:28:39,467 -I'll try. -[gasps] 803 00:28:39,509 --> 00:28:43,096 Um, I was born in India, raised in New York. 804 00:28:43,179 --> 00:28:47,100 Uh, I run a cold storage start-up for NFTs. 805 00:28:47,142 --> 00:28:48,393 [Margaret] Oh. 806 00:28:48,435 --> 00:28:51,396 -Cold storage for NFTs? -I have no idea what that means. 807 00:28:51,479 --> 00:28:52,939 -[laughter] -[Margaret] Number two, 808 00:28:53,022 --> 00:28:54,733 what is the most embarrassing thing 809 00:28:54,816 --> 00:28:56,151 that's ever happened to you? 810 00:28:56,234 --> 00:28:57,569 The most embarrassing thing 811 00:28:57,652 --> 00:29:02,866 that's happened to me was I threw up in the front car 812 00:29:02,907 --> 00:29:06,661 of a roller coaster, on a first date. 813 00:29:06,745 --> 00:29:09,080 -[audience] Ooh... -[Margaret] Wow. 814 00:29:09,664 --> 00:29:10,707 [Shane] Looks great. 815 00:29:10,790 --> 00:29:11,916 [Taylor] I don't know why 816 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:13,501 I have to be on TV right now, but... 817 00:29:13,543 --> 00:29:15,420 All right, we're done. Let's go, we got to go, we got to go. 818 00:29:15,503 --> 00:29:16,838 -Come on. -Okay, okay. 819 00:29:16,921 --> 00:29:19,048 Oh, wait, don't forget this. 820 00:29:19,799 --> 00:29:21,968 You want a girl that can just, you know, 821 00:29:22,051 --> 00:29:22,969 really go up... 822 00:29:23,052 --> 00:29:24,137 -And down. Yeah. -...and go down. 823 00:29:24,179 --> 00:29:26,806 -[laughter] -We like that... 824 00:29:26,890 --> 00:29:29,184 [Shane] All right, good luck, have fun. 825 00:29:30,602 --> 00:29:32,896 -She looks great. -She does, yeah. 826 00:29:32,979 --> 00:29:34,856 ALICE: Okay, contestant number three. 827 00:29:34,898 --> 00:29:36,733 Same question. 828 00:29:36,816 --> 00:29:38,359 -Number three? -Don't be shy. 829 00:29:38,401 --> 00:29:40,069 [Margaret] Don't be shy, number three. 830 00:29:40,111 --> 00:29:42,030 -Okay, go answer the question. -[Margaret] Number three? 831 00:29:42,113 --> 00:29:43,364 Okay, okay. What's the question? 832 00:29:43,448 --> 00:29:44,949 Say something funny about yourself. 833 00:29:44,991 --> 00:29:48,703 Um. Something, um... I'm, uh... 834 00:29:48,787 --> 00:29:49,788 Something funny about me? 835 00:29:49,829 --> 00:29:51,122 I'm from Normal, Illinois. 836 00:29:51,164 --> 00:29:53,500 [Alice] That's more of a fact than a joke, 837 00:29:53,541 --> 00:29:55,668 but, okay, I'll play. 838 00:29:55,710 --> 00:29:57,420 What's so normal about it? 839 00:29:57,462 --> 00:29:58,797 [Margaret] And would I fit in? 840 00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:00,799 Um, uh, the people, 841 00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:04,177 I-I guess, make it normal, um... 842 00:30:04,219 --> 00:30:06,346 That voice sounds so familiar. 843 00:30:06,387 --> 00:30:09,808 So, number three, what's the most embarrassing thing 844 00:30:09,891 --> 00:30:11,935 that's ever happened to you? 845 00:30:12,018 --> 00:30:13,645 I mean, well, this moment 846 00:30:13,728 --> 00:30:15,730 -would have to be up there. -[laughter] 847 00:30:15,772 --> 00:30:17,482 And, number three, 848 00:30:17,524 --> 00:30:20,151 who is your hero, and why? 849 00:30:20,235 --> 00:30:25,073 Oh, gosh, um... was it animal or human? 850 00:30:25,156 --> 00:30:27,784 -[laughter] -Aw, that's so cute. 851 00:30:27,867 --> 00:30:29,160 upbeat, energetic music 852 00:30:29,244 --> 00:30:31,120 -All right, I got one for you. -What's that? 853 00:30:31,204 --> 00:30:35,375 One time, after a bottle of Goldschläger, remember that? 854 00:30:36,251 --> 00:30:38,545 One-way bus ticket, Kansas City to L.A. 855 00:30:38,628 --> 00:30:40,380 Just picked up everything and moved. 856 00:30:40,463 --> 00:30:41,548 God, I hate moving. 857 00:30:41,631 --> 00:30:43,424 It's like the worst thing in the world to me. 858 00:30:43,466 --> 00:30:45,468 Yeah, but at least I used to do stuff. 859 00:30:45,510 --> 00:30:46,719 It's like, being sober 860 00:30:46,761 --> 00:30:48,471 makes it harder to make those moves, you know? 861 00:30:48,555 --> 00:30:49,681 Mm-hmm. 862 00:30:49,764 --> 00:30:52,600 Like, I've got a whole list of shit I just haven't done. 863 00:30:52,642 --> 00:30:54,435 Really, like what? 864 00:30:55,812 --> 00:30:57,438 I mean, I got this college application. 865 00:30:57,522 --> 00:30:59,732 It's been saved on my desktop for months. 866 00:30:59,774 --> 00:31:00,859 It's due at midnight, 867 00:31:00,942 --> 00:31:02,277 and I just, like, I can't pull the trigger. 868 00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:03,695 [Carrie] Well, you got to do that 869 00:31:03,736 --> 00:31:05,947 or you're gonna regret it your whole life, you know? 870 00:31:05,989 --> 00:31:06,906 [Misty] Okay. 871 00:31:06,948 --> 00:31:08,199 So everything's done. 872 00:31:08,283 --> 00:31:10,952 Um, if you have any problems, your boss has my info. 873 00:31:11,035 --> 00:31:13,413 Again, I'm-I'm really sorry about everything. 874 00:31:13,496 --> 00:31:15,623 -Yeah. -Really, the nose and, you know. 875 00:31:15,665 --> 00:31:18,001 But the tampons worked. Your nose looks perfect. 876 00:31:18,042 --> 00:31:20,336 [Carrie] I think it looks better than when I came in. 877 00:31:20,378 --> 00:31:22,255 -[laughs] It was fun, so... -Yeah. 878 00:31:22,297 --> 00:31:23,715 You know, it was-- it wasn't good, 879 00:31:23,756 --> 00:31:24,841 but it was good, you know? 880 00:31:24,883 --> 00:31:26,092 -Right. Okay. -All right. 881 00:31:26,134 --> 00:31:27,510 -Bye. It's, um... -[Misty] Yeah, sorry. 882 00:31:27,594 --> 00:31:29,470 Good night. 883 00:31:29,512 --> 00:31:31,097 You like her. 884 00:31:31,180 --> 00:31:32,807 I don't know her. 885 00:31:32,849 --> 00:31:34,267 You ask her out, I'll send in 886 00:31:34,350 --> 00:31:36,811 -my college application. -[door closes] 887 00:31:37,729 --> 00:31:38,730 Deal. 888 00:31:38,771 --> 00:31:39,939 -Wait, what? -Deal. 889 00:31:40,023 --> 00:31:41,149 No, I was fucking around! 890 00:31:41,232 --> 00:31:44,068 -No, you send that shit. -Fuck. 891 00:31:44,110 --> 00:31:46,487 Wow, she's doing it. Okay. 892 00:31:47,739 --> 00:31:49,532 [sputters] 893 00:31:49,616 --> 00:31:52,493 upbeat, energetic music 894 00:31:52,535 --> 00:31:56,581 Okay. [sighs] 895 00:31:58,750 --> 00:32:00,668 Holy shit, I did it. 896 00:32:01,419 --> 00:32:03,254 -I did it. Did you do it? -I did it. 897 00:32:03,338 --> 00:32:04,505 -[screams] -I did it! 898 00:32:04,589 --> 00:32:06,215 -[laughing] -Can you believe it? 899 00:32:06,257 --> 00:32:07,383 -No! -Thursday night. 900 00:32:07,467 --> 00:32:08,843 -You got a date. -Well, no. 901 00:32:08,885 --> 00:32:10,386 -It's not actually a date. -What is it? 902 00:32:10,428 --> 00:32:12,555 I sort of joined her bowling league. 903 00:32:12,597 --> 00:32:13,723 I'm the newest member of 904 00:32:13,765 --> 00:32:16,267 "I Can't Believe It's Not Gutter." 905 00:32:16,309 --> 00:32:18,686 [chuckles softly] You know what? 906 00:32:18,770 --> 00:32:20,521 Playing the long game. I'll take it. 907 00:32:20,605 --> 00:32:22,649 908 00:32:22,732 --> 00:32:24,025 [radio playing] 909 00:32:24,067 --> 00:32:25,151 Okay. 910 00:32:25,193 --> 00:32:27,487 Mama, Gloria, 911 00:32:27,570 --> 00:32:28,821 I'm heading out now. 912 00:32:28,905 --> 00:32:32,075 Don't be late, Deb, I've got a shift at 8:00. 913 00:32:33,201 --> 00:32:34,369 Mama, it's me. 914 00:32:34,410 --> 00:32:37,288 Remember, your sister Deb is in Florida. 915 00:32:37,330 --> 00:32:38,790 Oh, right. 916 00:32:38,831 --> 00:32:40,917 You never should've married him. 917 00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:42,627 [radio announcer] Speaking of songs of yesterday, 918 00:32:42,669 --> 00:32:46,172 here's Carly Simon with her hit, "You Belong to Me." 919 00:32:46,214 --> 00:32:47,966 ["You Belong to Me" by Carly Simon playing] 920 00:32:48,007 --> 00:32:50,593 [Patty] This is my song. 921 00:32:54,973 --> 00:32:56,641 Oh, my God. 922 00:32:59,102 --> 00:33:03,356 [laughs] She used to blast this song 923 00:33:03,439 --> 00:33:07,193 in the car when she would drive me to school. 924 00:33:07,276 --> 00:33:08,945 Were you looking for my reaction? 925 00:33:09,028 --> 00:33:11,698 Like, lean out the window smoking cigarettes. 926 00:33:11,739 --> 00:33:16,327 It would piss all the other moms off so much. 927 00:33:16,369 --> 00:33:17,996 I believe it. 928 00:33:18,705 --> 00:33:22,750 Carly Simon once bummed a cigarette from me. 929 00:33:23,292 --> 00:33:26,671 You never told me that. That is so cool! 930 00:33:26,754 --> 00:33:30,591 There's certain things a mother should never tell her daughter. 931 00:33:30,675 --> 00:33:32,510 [both laughing] 932 00:33:32,593 --> 00:33:34,345 Come dance with me, come on. 933 00:33:34,387 --> 00:33:37,140 I would love to. 934 00:33:39,308 --> 00:33:41,060 You belong to me 935 00:33:41,144 --> 00:33:43,646 Tell her, tell her you were fooling 936 00:33:43,730 --> 00:33:45,606 You belong to me 937 00:33:45,690 --> 00:33:47,859 You don't even know her 938 00:33:47,942 --> 00:33:49,694 You belong to me 939 00:33:49,777 --> 00:33:52,321 Tell her that I love you 940 00:33:52,405 --> 00:33:55,700 You belong to me 941 00:33:55,783 --> 00:33:58,077 [Shane] So you've been working here how long? 942 00:33:58,119 --> 00:34:01,372 Like six, seven months... ish? 943 00:34:01,456 --> 00:34:02,665 -Really? -Yeah. 944 00:34:02,749 --> 00:34:06,544 -Surprised I hadn't met you. -Well, you didn't look. 945 00:34:06,586 --> 00:34:08,629 -I didn't know. -Oh, okay. 946 00:34:08,671 --> 00:34:10,173 [chuckles] 947 00:34:10,256 --> 00:34:13,092 You know, it didn't take you that long to, like, 948 00:34:13,176 --> 00:34:14,343 jump right back in. 949 00:34:14,427 --> 00:34:16,179 -And you did that, so... -No, no, no, no, don't-- 950 00:34:16,262 --> 00:34:17,680 You can't give me that kind of credit. 951 00:34:17,722 --> 00:34:20,308 I was-- I was following your lead. 952 00:34:20,391 --> 00:34:22,060 Mm. 953 00:34:28,316 --> 00:34:30,151 "Bad" by Azure 954 00:34:30,193 --> 00:34:32,070 Come with me. 955 00:34:34,197 --> 00:34:37,158 956 00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:39,243 [door closes] 957 00:34:40,328 --> 00:34:45,833 Red wine stained keys, a melody 958 00:34:45,917 --> 00:34:50,838 Suffocation of a broken heart 959 00:34:51,547 --> 00:34:57,261 Violently sweet, till I bleed 960 00:34:57,303 --> 00:35:01,265 Your cigarettes, they linger on my mouth 961 00:35:01,307 --> 00:35:04,852 Oh, I never should have let you call me baby 962 00:35:04,894 --> 00:35:08,397 It burns every time I hear it lately 963 00:35:08,481 --> 00:35:11,734 I've come undone 964 00:35:12,443 --> 00:35:16,114 Oh, I never thought I'd drown in your ocean eyes 965 00:35:16,197 --> 00:35:20,243 A part of me lives on your bedside 966 00:35:21,244 --> 00:35:26,374 I don't know why I want you so bad 967 00:35:26,415 --> 00:35:28,668 Can't get you out of my head 968 00:35:28,709 --> 00:35:33,339 Maybe I'm crazy 'cause I don't care if you hate me 969 00:35:33,422 --> 00:35:37,385 I don't know why I want you so bad 970 00:35:37,426 --> 00:35:40,096 Can't get you out of my head 971 00:35:40,138 --> 00:35:44,684 Maybe I'm crazy 'cause I don't care if you hate me 972 00:35:44,767 --> 00:35:49,814 I don't know why I want you so bad 973 00:35:51,566 --> 00:35:56,112 Don't know why I want you so bad 974 00:35:57,113 --> 00:36:00,074 So, what-what is going on between you two? 975 00:36:00,116 --> 00:36:01,117 Nothing. 976 00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:03,244 I can feel it, okay? 977 00:36:03,327 --> 00:36:06,164 On the ambulance, our lips touched. 978 00:36:06,205 --> 00:36:07,498 [stammers] It was nothing. 979 00:36:07,582 --> 00:36:09,917 -It was an accident. -Are you trying to hurt me? 980 00:36:09,959 --> 00:36:11,377 Of course I'm not trying to hurt you. 981 00:36:11,419 --> 00:36:13,504 Okay, then, what we have is good. 982 00:36:13,588 --> 00:36:15,131 Why are you doing this? 983 00:36:15,173 --> 00:36:16,591 We have a good thing. 984 00:36:16,674 --> 00:36:18,384 I'm just... 985 00:36:19,427 --> 00:36:20,887 I'm confused. 986 00:36:20,928 --> 00:36:22,555 You're confused? 987 00:36:22,638 --> 00:36:25,349 When I... got hit... 988 00:36:26,434 --> 00:36:28,686 ...I saw Nat and the kids. 989 00:36:30,354 --> 00:36:31,564 And not me. 990 00:36:31,647 --> 00:36:34,192 I don't know what it means. That's why I'm telling you. 991 00:36:34,233 --> 00:36:36,527 What are you saying to me right now? 992 00:36:40,156 --> 00:36:43,826 [sighs] I don't know, I need time. 993 00:36:45,578 --> 00:36:48,831 Okay. You take your time. 994 00:36:48,915 --> 00:36:50,374 I'm done. 995 00:36:54,879 --> 00:36:56,923 [Taylor] And this all happened in the backseat 996 00:36:56,964 --> 00:36:58,299 of the family Astro van. 997 00:36:58,382 --> 00:37:01,010 [audience laughing] 998 00:37:01,052 --> 00:37:03,179 Oh, shit. Um, you know what? 999 00:37:03,262 --> 00:37:06,682 Uh, Miss Cho, could you actually just forget I said that? 1000 00:37:06,724 --> 00:37:08,142 Oh, contestant three, 1001 00:37:08,184 --> 00:37:11,103 I don't think I can unring that bell. 1002 00:37:11,187 --> 00:37:13,940 There's no shame in masturbating in the back of your family's car 1003 00:37:14,023 --> 00:37:15,733 as long as your family's not there. 1004 00:37:15,775 --> 00:37:19,111 [Margaret] No shame at all, three. No shame. 1005 00:37:19,195 --> 00:37:21,864 -For me there is a little. -[bell tinkling] 1006 00:37:21,906 --> 00:37:23,241 Oh, you know what that bell means, 1007 00:37:23,282 --> 00:37:26,202 we have time for one last question. 1008 00:37:26,244 --> 00:37:28,746 -What do you think, Alice? -I think I'm ready. 1009 00:37:28,829 --> 00:37:30,790 -Okay. -It's very simple. 1010 00:37:30,831 --> 00:37:32,083 [Margaret] Yes. 1011 00:37:32,166 --> 00:37:34,043 Why do you want to date me? 1012 00:37:34,126 --> 00:37:36,212 What's not to love? 1013 00:37:36,295 --> 00:37:37,505 Aww! 1014 00:37:37,546 --> 00:37:41,300 Smart, sexy and beautiful. The full package. 1015 00:37:41,384 --> 00:37:43,261 [audience murmuring] 1016 00:37:43,302 --> 00:37:44,512 We should do this every episode. 1017 00:37:44,595 --> 00:37:46,430 [audience laughing] 1018 00:37:46,472 --> 00:37:48,182 Uh, well, they promised me 1019 00:37:48,224 --> 00:37:49,976 a coffee mug if I did the show, so... 1020 00:37:50,059 --> 00:37:51,769 [loud laughter] 1021 00:37:51,811 --> 00:37:52,853 The free mug? 1022 00:37:52,937 --> 00:37:56,357 [laughing] Wow. What do you say, Alice? 1023 00:37:56,440 --> 00:37:59,110 Loveable, full package, free mug. 1024 00:37:59,151 --> 00:38:03,072 And unlike women's reproductive rights in America, 1025 00:38:03,114 --> 00:38:04,782 this choice is entirely yours. 1026 00:38:04,865 --> 00:38:07,201 -[murmured agreements] -[Alice sighs] 1027 00:38:07,243 --> 00:38:09,120 I don't know, Margaret. They're all so dateable. 1028 00:38:09,161 --> 00:38:12,290 [audience yelling numbers] 1029 00:38:17,295 --> 00:38:19,880 Mm... There's one person 1030 00:38:19,922 --> 00:38:22,758 that I would like to get to know better. 1031 00:38:22,842 --> 00:38:25,386 Contestant three, I choose you! 1032 00:38:25,469 --> 00:38:28,514 -[confetti popping] -[cheering] 1033 00:38:28,556 --> 00:38:31,017 [Margaret] Contestant three, come on down. 1034 00:38:31,100 --> 00:38:32,810 Two and one, 1035 00:38:32,852 --> 00:38:34,061 uh, meet me in my dressing room. 1036 00:38:34,103 --> 00:38:36,522 -You. -It's me. 1037 00:38:36,564 --> 00:38:38,774 -[laughs] -The coffee stand. 1038 00:38:38,816 --> 00:38:40,276 Yeah. 1039 00:38:40,318 --> 00:38:41,569 You're funny. 1040 00:38:41,652 --> 00:38:43,487 [chuckles] For a regular gal. Yeah. 1041 00:38:43,571 --> 00:38:45,031 [Margaret] All right. 1042 00:38:45,072 --> 00:38:48,534 We're here, we're queer! 1043 00:38:48,617 --> 00:38:50,619 And we have love. 1044 00:38:50,661 --> 00:38:52,330 -Love is love is love! -Love it. 1045 00:38:52,371 --> 00:38:56,042 Until the Supreme Court takes that away from us, too. 1046 00:38:56,125 --> 00:38:57,418 [laughter, cheering] 1047 00:38:57,460 --> 00:39:00,338 And pee after sex, everyone, don't forget! 1048 00:39:00,379 --> 00:39:04,633 Thank you so much for having me, Alice, thank you. 1049 00:39:04,675 --> 00:39:07,470 Good night, everyone! 1050 00:39:10,264 --> 00:39:11,849 Are you okay? 1051 00:39:15,561 --> 00:39:17,313 No. 1052 00:39:19,982 --> 00:39:22,193 You can sleep on my couch, if you want. 1053 00:39:22,276 --> 00:39:24,278 No, I'm fine on my own. 1054 00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:27,782 [sighs] But you should really let me drive. 1055 00:39:27,823 --> 00:39:31,202 Oh, don't worry, I only had a couple sips. 1056 00:39:32,119 --> 00:39:33,704 I just mean you're a really bad driver. 1057 00:39:33,746 --> 00:39:35,790 [Dani] Fuck you! Fuck you! 1058 00:39:35,831 --> 00:39:37,917 -[Nat] Whoa! -[Gigi] Jesus, what is-- 1059 00:39:37,958 --> 00:39:39,043 What is that? 1060 00:39:39,126 --> 00:39:40,378 -[Gigi] Can you please drive? -Fuck you! 1061 00:39:40,419 --> 00:39:41,837 -They're my oranges! -Yeah, go! 1062 00:39:41,921 --> 00:39:43,631 -[Gigi] Can you please drive? -[Nat] Those are a gift! 1063 00:39:43,672 --> 00:39:45,466 -Nat, could you please drive? -[Nat] I spent $20 on them. 1064 00:39:45,508 --> 00:39:46,801 I understand, could you please--? 1065 00:39:46,884 --> 00:39:48,719 -That was for my ex! Our ex. -Jesus. 1066 00:39:48,761 --> 00:39:51,180 [tires screeching] 1067 00:39:52,223 --> 00:39:53,349 [groans] 1068 00:39:53,432 --> 00:39:55,101 [pants] 1069 00:39:55,142 --> 00:39:57,269 slow, dramatic music 1070 00:39:57,353 --> 00:39:58,938 1071 00:39:58,979 --> 00:40:01,107 slow, funky music 1072 00:40:01,190 --> 00:40:03,067 1073 00:40:05,486 --> 00:40:06,612 [Sophie] ...so much. 1074 00:40:06,695 --> 00:40:09,407 I'll see you tomorrow, okay? Good job. 1075 00:40:10,282 --> 00:40:14,370 -[sighs] - Been feeling defeated 1076 00:40:14,412 --> 00:40:17,164 Oh, no... 1077 00:40:17,248 --> 00:40:18,707 Hey. 1078 00:40:18,749 --> 00:40:21,168 What the hell happened to you? 1079 00:40:23,421 --> 00:40:24,713 This is the second time 1080 00:40:24,755 --> 00:40:27,383 that the person I wanted to marry ran off with someone else. 1081 00:40:27,425 --> 00:40:29,677 Ha ha. 1082 00:40:31,011 --> 00:40:33,889 Oh... orange? 1083 00:40:33,973 --> 00:40:37,726 -Yeah. Thanks. -Mm-hmm. 1084 00:40:37,768 --> 00:40:38,936 [grunts] 1085 00:40:38,978 --> 00:40:41,981 Don't fall down, baby, don't fall down 1086 00:40:42,022 --> 00:40:43,899 Don't fall, just... 1087 00:40:43,983 --> 00:40:47,236 -Hey, you're gonna be okay. -Mm. 1088 00:40:47,278 --> 00:40:49,280 You got this. You'll bounce back. 1089 00:40:49,363 --> 00:40:50,489 You... [chuckles] 1090 00:40:50,573 --> 00:40:52,658 You're the most together person I know. 1091 00:40:52,700 --> 00:40:55,703 [scoffs] Not anymore. 1092 00:40:56,579 --> 00:40:59,915 -Turns out, that's you. -[laughs] 1093 00:40:59,999 --> 00:41:03,878 I don't... mm, I don't know about that. 1094 00:41:03,919 --> 00:41:06,046 You're crushing at work. 1095 00:41:06,088 --> 00:41:07,923 Made it through rehab with Finley. 1096 00:41:07,965 --> 00:41:11,594 Been going through changes 1097 00:41:11,635 --> 00:41:13,762 Oh... 1098 00:41:13,804 --> 00:41:14,930 Hey, um, 1099 00:41:14,972 --> 00:41:18,642 I was just gonna grab my stuff and go home. [chuckles] 1100 00:41:19,310 --> 00:41:22,104 -Yeah. Me, too. -[clears throat] 1101 00:41:22,146 --> 00:41:24,273 Threw it all away 1102 00:41:24,356 --> 00:41:27,735 Everyone makes mistakes, yeah 1103 00:41:27,776 --> 00:41:31,530 Oh, no, don't fall down... 1104 00:41:31,572 --> 00:41:33,741 Hey, uh... 1105 00:41:33,782 --> 00:41:35,367 You want to come over? 1106 00:41:35,868 --> 00:41:39,205 Don't fall down, baby, don't fall down... 1107 00:41:39,288 --> 00:41:40,831 Um... Are you...? 1108 00:41:40,873 --> 00:41:42,750 Are you trying to get back together with me right now? 1109 00:41:42,833 --> 00:41:44,210 -[laughing] -Because, um... 1110 00:41:44,293 --> 00:41:47,755 No. No, no. 1111 00:41:47,796 --> 00:41:49,924 Not a fucking chance. 1112 00:41:50,424 --> 00:41:52,885 Yeah. I'll see you at the house then. 1113 00:41:52,968 --> 00:41:54,595 -Okay. -Yeah. 1114 00:41:54,637 --> 00:41:55,596 See you later. 1115 00:41:55,638 --> 00:41:59,642 Things are gonna get better 1116 00:42:00,976 --> 00:42:05,022 Things are gonna get better 1117 00:42:06,774 --> 00:42:08,859 I was, like, this close to falling. 1118 00:42:08,943 --> 00:42:10,528 [laughing] I was like... 1119 00:42:10,569 --> 00:42:12,947 -Hey! We did it! -[cheering] 1120 00:42:12,988 --> 00:42:14,281 [whooping] 1121 00:42:14,365 --> 00:42:17,243 Great job, everybody. Great job. 1122 00:42:17,326 --> 00:42:19,411 [upbeat music playing] 1123 00:42:19,495 --> 00:42:21,830 1124 00:42:22,957 --> 00:42:23,832 Hey! 1125 00:42:23,874 --> 00:42:25,709 Are you-are you leaving? 1126 00:42:25,793 --> 00:42:27,253 The party's just getting started. 1127 00:42:27,336 --> 00:42:29,713 Yeah, yeah, I'm just gonna head home. 1128 00:42:31,090 --> 00:42:33,842 You don't want to cash in on that big date? 1129 00:42:33,884 --> 00:42:35,010 [laughs] 1130 00:42:35,094 --> 00:42:37,304 -Really, no, it's-it's okay. -Oh. 1131 00:42:37,346 --> 00:42:39,515 I mean, hey, I-I got the free mug. 1132 00:42:39,557 --> 00:42:42,184 They threw in two extra T-shirts, so... 1133 00:42:42,268 --> 00:42:43,435 -Nice. -I'm good. 1134 00:42:43,519 --> 00:42:45,229 Yeah, that's enough. 1135 00:42:45,271 --> 00:42:46,480 -Hey, listen... -Yeah? 1136 00:42:46,564 --> 00:42:49,066 ...really, congratulations on everything. 1137 00:42:49,149 --> 00:42:52,611 I mean, you should be really proud of all of it. 1138 00:42:52,695 --> 00:42:56,574 Big chef's kiss for you and your big night. 1139 00:43:03,831 --> 00:43:06,834 Um, you're not regular. 1140 00:43:07,459 --> 00:43:09,253 Yes, I am. [chuckles] 1141 00:43:09,878 --> 00:43:10,963 Well, so am I. 1142 00:43:11,046 --> 00:43:15,509 There's a 45-foot picture of you outside. 1143 00:43:17,219 --> 00:43:18,429 Okay, I've been you. 1144 00:43:18,512 --> 00:43:20,431 A long time ago, I dated someone famous 1145 00:43:20,472 --> 00:43:22,558 when I wasn't, so I know it's different. 1146 00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:25,102 But I'm just a person. 1147 00:43:26,520 --> 00:43:28,606 And I like your weird sense of humor. 1148 00:43:28,689 --> 00:43:30,649 You know, that's, that's not the compliment 1149 00:43:30,691 --> 00:43:32,651 I think you think it is. 1150 00:43:32,693 --> 00:43:33,902 And you're cute. 1151 00:43:33,986 --> 00:43:37,740 Well, you know, I can't speak to that one so much, so... 1152 00:43:37,781 --> 00:43:40,909 Come on, one date. One regular date. 1153 00:43:40,951 --> 00:43:43,579 What do you say? Just... 1154 00:43:44,330 --> 00:43:45,664 You can keep the T-shirts. 1155 00:43:45,706 --> 00:43:46,957 [chuckles] 1156 00:43:47,041 --> 00:43:48,584 I don't know about the mug. 1157 00:43:48,626 --> 00:43:50,210 [laughing] 1158 00:43:50,252 --> 00:43:55,007 I cannot believe I missed Alice in a straitjacket. 1159 00:43:55,049 --> 00:43:57,635 -[laughing] -I know, and that Velcro target? 1160 00:43:57,718 --> 00:43:58,927 Oh, my God, that was a hit. 1161 00:43:58,969 --> 00:44:00,554 -It was so good. -[shrieks] I'm sure. 1162 00:44:00,638 --> 00:44:02,723 -[laughs] -Oh. 1163 00:44:02,765 --> 00:44:05,684 [Sophie] Well, um, yeah, I think 1164 00:44:05,726 --> 00:44:07,895 -Shane's backstage somewhere-- -Hey, Tess. 1165 00:44:07,936 --> 00:44:09,104 You showed up. 1166 00:44:09,188 --> 00:44:11,607 -Hi. -Hi. 1167 00:44:11,690 --> 00:44:13,150 Yeah. [kisses] 1168 00:44:13,233 --> 00:44:15,486 -I'm sorry I'm late. -Oh. 1169 00:44:15,527 --> 00:44:16,737 I would have been here sooner, 1170 00:44:16,779 --> 00:44:18,447 it's just my mom was having this, like, 1171 00:44:18,530 --> 00:44:20,783 -really amazing moment-- -It's okay, it's okay. 1172 00:44:20,824 --> 00:44:23,285 -Yeah, it's okay. -Okay. 1173 00:44:23,327 --> 00:44:24,578 Um... 1174 00:44:25,287 --> 00:44:28,832 I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier. 1175 00:44:29,917 --> 00:44:31,627 All is forgiven. 1176 00:44:31,669 --> 00:44:32,711 Yeah. 1177 00:44:32,795 --> 00:44:34,630 But I think they wrapped, didn't they, Sophie? 1178 00:44:34,672 --> 00:44:35,923 -[Tess] Oh. -Yeah, we wrapped. 1179 00:44:36,006 --> 00:44:37,549 -[Shane] Yeah. -Yeah, but there's... 1180 00:44:37,591 --> 00:44:38,967 there's a party. 1181 00:44:39,009 --> 00:44:40,678 I know, but I'm exhausted. 1182 00:44:40,761 --> 00:44:42,137 -Okay. -Is that okay? 1183 00:44:42,221 --> 00:44:43,347 Can we just go home? 1184 00:44:43,430 --> 00:44:44,473 That's okay, let's go home. 1185 00:44:44,556 --> 00:44:45,891 -You sure? -Yeah, let's go home. 1186 00:44:45,933 --> 00:44:47,393 I'm sorry you drove all the way over here, 1187 00:44:47,476 --> 00:44:48,352 -but is that all right? -No, it's fine. 1188 00:44:48,394 --> 00:44:49,770 Okay. 1189 00:44:49,812 --> 00:44:50,979 Thank you, Sophie. 1190 00:44:51,063 --> 00:44:52,439 [Sophie] Bye, guys, have a good night. 1191 00:44:52,481 --> 00:44:53,774 -Bye. -Bye, Soph. 1192 00:44:53,857 --> 00:44:56,026 Bye. 1193 00:44:57,903 --> 00:45:00,322 Great show. 1194 00:45:00,364 --> 00:45:01,615 Uh... 1195 00:45:01,657 --> 00:45:03,742 Uh, same-same to you. 1196 00:45:03,784 --> 00:45:05,452 'Cause I'd really, really miss ya 1197 00:45:05,536 --> 00:45:07,955 So cool, cool, cool, baby, shake that 1198 00:45:07,996 --> 00:45:10,290 You're the best in the room, you don't have to try 1199 00:45:10,332 --> 00:45:12,501 Show no fear when you cross the line 1200 00:45:12,543 --> 00:45:14,378 Even when it rains, you bring the shine... 1201 00:45:14,461 --> 00:45:15,337 [Micah] Hey. 1202 00:45:15,421 --> 00:45:17,214 [Finley] What...? What'd I say? 1203 00:45:17,297 --> 00:45:19,133 Relax, I'm just going to get something to drink, 1204 00:45:19,174 --> 00:45:20,384 go to my room, 1205 00:45:20,467 --> 00:45:22,010 and you can have your special night with Sophie. 1206 00:45:22,052 --> 00:45:23,429 -You'll be fine. -Thank you. 1207 00:45:23,470 --> 00:45:25,389 -I love you. -Yeah. You, too. Hey. 1208 00:45:25,431 --> 00:45:27,349 Hey, you know, if there's any leftovers, 1209 00:45:27,433 --> 00:45:29,435 that steak looks amazing. 1210 00:45:29,476 --> 00:45:31,687 It's chicken. 1211 00:45:31,729 --> 00:45:33,981 -Oh. -[door opens] 1212 00:45:34,064 --> 00:45:35,357 Hey. 1213 00:45:35,441 --> 00:45:36,442 Hey! 1214 00:45:36,525 --> 00:45:39,486 -[chuckles] What is this? -We're celebrating. 1215 00:45:39,570 --> 00:45:41,405 -We are? -Yeah. 1216 00:45:41,447 --> 00:45:44,575 -Your 100th episode. -Aww. 1217 00:45:44,658 --> 00:45:46,618 And... [kisses] 1218 00:45:46,660 --> 00:45:48,203 I applied to college. 1219 00:45:48,245 --> 00:45:49,371 Stop. 1220 00:45:49,413 --> 00:45:50,956 -What? [laughs] -I know. 1221 00:45:51,039 --> 00:45:52,124 That's amazing. 1222 00:45:52,207 --> 00:45:53,917 -I know. -I'm so excited for you. 1223 00:45:53,959 --> 00:45:56,795 So I thought we could, you know, celebrate us, 1224 00:45:56,837 --> 00:46:00,966 and have a little romantic dinner, and then, 1225 00:46:01,008 --> 00:46:04,553 -you know, maybe after... -Oh, okay. 1226 00:46:04,636 --> 00:46:05,637 Oh. 1227 00:46:05,679 --> 00:46:07,431 -Hi. -Hi. [laughs] 1228 00:46:07,514 --> 00:46:09,016 -Hi. -Hey. Sorry. 1229 00:46:09,057 --> 00:46:13,020 [quietly] I tried to call you. Gigi broke up with her. 1230 00:46:13,729 --> 00:46:16,148 Figured I'd come piss in your hallway for a change. 1231 00:46:16,190 --> 00:46:17,399 [Finley] Oh. 1232 00:46:17,483 --> 00:46:21,612 I mean, if that'd be helpful, by all means, please do. 1233 00:46:22,780 --> 00:46:24,615 Truce? 1234 00:46:25,449 --> 00:46:28,619 Now what I really want to do is pull you into a big old hug. 1235 00:46:28,702 --> 00:46:31,288 -You shouldn't do that. Yeah. -And I won't. 1236 00:46:31,330 --> 00:46:33,415 [gasps] Is that cake? 1237 00:46:33,457 --> 00:46:34,750 -Yes, it is. -[Micah] I heard Dani. 1238 00:46:34,792 --> 00:46:36,126 Which means it's not a date night. 1239 00:46:36,210 --> 00:46:37,711 -Not anymore. -I want some of that cake. 1240 00:46:37,753 --> 00:46:40,005 -Wait, you made cake? -[laughing] No. 1241 00:46:40,088 --> 00:46:42,007 I was with the, uh, plumber all day. 1242 00:46:42,049 --> 00:46:44,301 But I picked up   tres leches, 1243 00:46:44,384 --> 00:46:48,138 and I also found out what the   tres leches   were today. 1244 00:46:48,180 --> 00:46:50,766 Uh, what did you think they were before? 1245 00:46:50,849 --> 00:46:51,975 Mmm. 1246 00:46:52,017 --> 00:46:54,269 Cow, goat and breast. 1247 00:46:54,311 --> 00:46:56,230 -Wow. -No. 1248 00:46:56,271 --> 00:46:57,272 [laughing] 1249 00:46:57,314 --> 00:46:58,816 So, you thought they put breast milk...? 1250 00:46:58,857 --> 00:47:01,026 Ooh, there's got to be 1251 00:47:01,109 --> 00:47:03,862 Something more out there for me 1252 00:47:03,946 --> 00:47:07,616 Ooh, I've got to keep my head up 1253 00:47:07,699 --> 00:47:09,409 Keep my head up 1254 00:47:09,451 --> 00:47:11,662 Ooh, there's nothing like 1255 00:47:11,703 --> 00:47:14,206 Rising up after the fight 1256 00:47:14,289 --> 00:47:18,335 Ooh, I've got to keep my head up 91681

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