Original subtitles

Good evening ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to Candid Capers,

this is the program which photographs peolpe,

in amusing and embarrassing scenes,

and then shows them to the television audience,

our photographer is returning with a new set of pictures,

allow me to explain how our program works,

our photographer goes into night clubs,

hotels or park cars,

and snaps these candied pictures,

we then show the photographs on television,

and everyone has a good laugh,

this first picture,

was snapped in a dark corner of the Nouveau Po coffee house,

and it shows mr Andrew Spearman,

and miss Gert oh,

oh there's something on this one, excuse,

it's from mr Spearman,

I see,

Candid Capers loves a good laugh,

but we certainly wouldn't want to cause any misunderstandings,

apparently all he could find on which to write his note,

was a hundred dollar bill,

while I go through these pictures perhaps you'd like to look at the following,

more formal photography, thank you.

THE KERRY BLUE

How about that Annie? how about that huh?

that fellow Rembrandt he couldn't do much better than that I could,

no sir,

there you, are now you got the fanciest dog house in town,

oh yeah I bet those other butchers are gonna be jealous, huh

nothing's too good for my little Annie,

you know what I’m gonna do next winter?

I’m gonna put a regular little heater in there for you,

I bet you like that huh,

what's the matter?

oh girl where's that old zip, don't you feel so well?

Well you're coming into dinner, aren't you?

I’m coming, I just wanted to finish up the painting,

looks pretty good, wanna take a look to?

Find time to be painting,

and you with your good suit on.

Come on girl.

Look at that jacket,

think I can afford dry cleaning every other day?

why don't you do that stuff on weekends like other men do?

Other men don't have a dog like Annie,

you know, I don't think Annie feels so well,

-she hasn't got that old zip. -Well what do you expect of an old dog?

-she's no puppy anymore. -Uh well she's been mopping around a lot.

maybe it's the water,

you know what I drink?

I think she needs exercise,

I ought to take her to the park more.

Why don't you take her to dinner in a show?

wouldn't think you'd taken me to the park, would you?

That's different.

You bet your life it's different,

you don't think I get sick and tired,

or watching you treat that dog like she was a I don't know,

queen of Sheba,

You don't come home from work to see me you come home to see Annie.

You starting out again?

Annie eats better than me,

she goes to the vet more times than I go to the doctor,

and me that really needs it with my back.

You got any pepper?

Annie this, Annie that,

I need to have a fire in this house, I don't know who you'd rescue first.

Oh come on now Thelma you know you like the dog too.

Likes, likes is one thing,

it's more than just 'like' with you.

Here Annie,

take it,

She doesn't want any meat.

She didn't eat any breakfast this morning either.

Maybe she just doesn't like it.

Maybe it's my cooking,

-maybe she don't like that. -I didn't say that,

now come on Thelma sit down, there's something I want to tell you,

something happened at the office this morning,

mr McGregor called me in,

he wants me to go to the Cleveland branch.

You? what for?

Well one of the department heads out there got sick and,

they don't know how long they'll be out,

he was working on a market research project for one of our big clients.

-So? -So they want me to go out out there and finish up the job,

I don't know how long it'll take two or three days maybe,

what do you think of that?

Was very nice,

-for you. -Well it is sort of flattering I mean it's an important project,

and he thinks that I’m the right man to handle the job.

When are you supposed to leave?

I’m gonna catch the plane at nine o'clock in the morning,

I’II have to pack tonight.

Well don't forget your pills and stuff.

Well I guess I better get started come on girl.

Thelma, I’m back.

How are you Ned, how was the trip?

Well it was just fine it was okay.

-Well let me take that. -No that's all right I can manage it.

You must be awfully tired dear I made you some coffee.

Good.

Annie must be getting deaf in her old age,

I thought sure she'd be barking when I pulled up in that taxi,

feels like I’ve been away here,

everything all right here?

what is it, what's happened?

-Ned... -Well what is it for Pete’s sake?

you're acting awful funny, are you sorry I came home or something?

-I’ve got bad news about Annie. -What's wrong?

what's the matter with Annie?

was Annie sick, does she hit the vets?

oh what is it Thelma?

It happened two days after you left,

she was acting funny,

well you saw the way she was acting, she just,

quit eating, I had to force the food on her,

and then one night,

Friday it was,

she was lying on the floor,

under the dining table,

she was breathing heavy,

and then she began to whimper like she's having a bad dream,

and then she got up...

What more Thelma?

She came over to me and,

stood in front of me looking at me,

making that funny little whimpering noise like she had to go out or something,

and then she collapsed,

she just fell over and laid,

I bent over,

but she didn't move,

she wasn't even breathing,

I tried to pick her up but she weighed a ton,

she wasn't even breathing then,

I touched her,

I didn't feel anything no heartbeat anything like that.

Did you call dr Chaff?

did you call a vet?

She was gone Ned, she was dead,

she just stopped living that's all it was,

I called mr Doyle next door,

and he said there was nothing I could do about it,

nothing I could do but,

but very poor Annie,

he he said that he wished that he could help me,

but but he was sick in bed with a cold,

he said that,

I should just take Annie out in the woods,

and bury her.

Did you call Chaff?

did you tell him what was happening?

It was ten o'clock even later nobody was open that late.

What did you do?

I did what mr Doyle said, I,

I went out into the woods,

not too far,

I dug a hole,

I put Annie in it, I covered her up and came back to the house,

was the only thing I could do.

You did that?

It was the only sensible thing then,

I couldn't just leave her there dear.

You buried her?

Yes.

You buried my dog?

how you know she was dead?

how do you know for sure?

Ned... -Do you know what you did?

you buried out alife,

-you buried my dog alive. -I didn't, I didn't.

she was dead,

she was 13 Ned, she was old,

dr Chaff said she was like a 90 year old woman,

You buried my dog alive.

Who is here?

Dr Chaff, I told you he was coming over this afternoon, will you see him please?

Yeah sure I will.

Come in doctor,.

Malley, I understand you've been away on a business trip,

been to Cleveland aren't you?

nice town Cleveland,

my daughter married a Cleveland boy.

-Won't you sit down doctor? -Oh thank you mrs Malley,

it's really too bad about your dog,

fine animal,

I always like Kerry Blues,

your wife told me about all that happened,

about how upset you were,

I just want to reassure you that,

well she did absolutely the right thing,

the dog was old you know 13 years is very old for a dog,

I’m sure there was no doubt about his being dead.

She wasn't a 'her',

Annie was a 'her'.

Yes of course I,

well anyway I just wanted you to know that mrs Malley,

did the right thing by burying her,

the only sensible thing.

You're a vet dr Chaff,

you ought to know whether a dog's dead or alive.

Yes naturally.

But my wife, she isn't a vet.

Well I I really don't think there's any question.

But you don't really know, do you?

because you weren't here,

nobody really knows whether Annie was dead or alive,

because nobody was here except my wife,

you see my point?

-Mrs Malley I... -It's all right doctor,

you did your best.

I’m sorry.

Thank you for coming doctor.

You can put your shirt on now,

there's something bothering you?

perhaps a business worry something like that?

No it's nothing like that doctor it's it's just asleep,

-that's my problem. -Well you need your rest no doubt about that we all do.

Those uh those sleeping pills you gave me the last time I was here,

-I’m all out of them. -It might be better if you could try getting along without them.

Well I got to get some sleep doctor if I could,

just get some sleep, I’m sure I’d feel better.

All right mr Malley I’II give you another prescription,

but use them only when you feel it's really necessary.

I will doctor,

only when necessary.

Ned,

Yes Thelma?

There's something I want to tell you.

Is it about Annie?

In a way,

I spoke to dr Chaff again,

and he says... -Don't,

don't talk about it,

I don't want to hear another word.

But we can't go on like this,

-you make me feel so... -There's no sense crying about it.

it's all over and done with.

But I can't help it.

And she's dead and that's all there is,

it just won't ever mention the subject again,

all right?

-Do you mean that Ned? -Of course I mean it,

forget all about Annie,

just like she never existed,

how about a nice cup of hot chocolate?

No, no thank you Ned I think I’II get some when I go to bed.

Have some now,

I’d like some myself,

I’II even fix it.

You?

well all right Ned if you want to.

Is it all right?

Yes yes it's just fine,

Ned there is something I want to tell you.

It isn't too sweet?

No no no it's fine,

-Ned... -You know, that clock needs winding,

but it hasn't been wound since I left.

Ned I, I feel so tired all of a sudden.

Maybe you want to lie down a while.

No no this,

looks to put a bit,

maybe if I,

uh maybe if I got some fresh air,

I feel so woozy.

Just been knitting too much, your eyes are tired.

-Lately I think I’m going to faint. -No no,

you're going to be all right,

-you just go in and light out, go ahead. -I think it'd better,

that I,

I feel awful,

then I,

I feel sick.

No you'll be all right,

just sit down here,

and lie back,

and go to sleep,

close your eyes,

and go to sleep.

Maybe we better call somebody,

a doctor.

We don't need a doctor,

a doctor wouldn't do you any good now,

it's too late for that.

What do you mean?

what do you mean too late?

Why it's just too late,

it'll all be over in a few minutes though.

What are you talking about?

I gave you something in your hot chocolate tonight,

that's why you're feeling this way.

Give me something?

I went to see dr Prentice today,

and he gave me a prescription for some sleeping pills,

a whole bottle full of them,

and they were all in your chocolate Thelma,

every single one,

don't try and fight it Thelma,

it's too late to do anything about it now,

there is nothing they can do just like they couldn't do anything for poor Annie,

you know what might even happen,

you may not be dead,

when I finally decide to call somebody,

you may only be sleeping,

maybe they won't even hear your heartbeat,

like you didn't hear Annie’s,

maybe they won't even know you're still alive,

and they may bury you too,

just like you buried Annie out there,

alive,

that's what might happen.

Please,

please,

help me,

Now just lie still dumber,

don't make it any harder for yourself,

it's going to be hard enough,

when they put that dirt over you,

when they start to cover up that grave,

and you're in it,

alive,

that's gonna be hard Thelma,

just like it was for Annie,

You think she'll be able to talk now?

You could try.

Mrs Malley,

you're going to be all right now ma'am,

all you have to do now is just take it easy.

Ned,

my husband.

Well I’m afraid this is going to be bad news,

mrs Malley,

patrolman Davis found your husband in the backyard,

he must have fallen,

he struck his head on the concrete,

well he's dead mrs Malley,

I’m sorry,

was your neighbor mr Doyle who phoned us he heard a racket,

in your backyard and thought it must have been a prowler,

it's lucky for you that he did,

look mrs Malley,

I know you don't feel much like talking now,

but there's something we have to know,

now about that overdose you took, those sleeping pills...

He's dead,

he's dead,

and never even knew.

Knew what mrs Malley?

He never knew about the dog,

it was dr Chaff's idea,

to get him another Kerry Blue,

just like the one that died, just like Annie,

to make him feel better,

I was gonna surprise him tonight.

Would you believe it?

we don't have a single photograph to show you,

I shall tell you more of this in just a moment,

that concludes our show for tonight,

as for Candid Capers,

we have added a new feature,

the telephone tapping hour,

we hope this will be even more entertaining,

and profitable, so until next week good night.