Original subtitles

Good evening ladies and gentlemen,

since you are accustomed to hearing my brother Alfred, at this time,

I shall allow him to make his usual announcement,

you may carry on Alfred.

Thank you kind sir,

I agreed to take part in this observed charade,

only because I was assured it would get us a booking on a certain,

Sunday night variety show,

however I’m not sure it's worth it,

since watching us is rather a limited form of amusement,

we have provided you with some alternate entertainment,

here it is.

TEN O'CLOCK TIGER

Well Arthur what do you know?

I know I can't afford to be seen with a known crook,

boxing commissioner is very sensitive in this state.

-We could talk in the dressing room. -Talk about what?

How you could turn 50 into a couple of grand just for the price of a phone call,

we only got a few minutes left to post time at Valencia Park.

-Get lost. -The horse's name is Sweet Sloop,

if you don't know a bookmaker in this town,

you can call New York for a dollar 20 cents,

like I said the horse's name is Sweet Sloop.

All right wake up you blubbery slob.

Too late to call your bookmaker now,

-hey the soldier, how is he these days? -Oh...

He's alive and breathing,

but you can say the same thing for an acre of beets.

You're so kind about it Arthur,

when's he gonna fight again?

He fights Buster Bigelow Tuesday night in the local arena.

How do you think you make up?

He'll make out like general custer,

you want to kiss the dead? anyway is a friend of yours.

No not personally, he doesn't know me,

but gosh I must have seen him fight old 10 or 12 times in the old days,

boy he was a great one when he had it.

Sure so they're all, they were all great when they had it.

In the first race at Valencia Park off and running at 1:16 eastern standard time,

the winner by seven and a half length Sweet Salute...

Target Bright was second and Molest Me Not was third.

Why didn't you say the race was rigged?

It wasn't Rick Arthur, just the winner, he got special attention.

You mean the horse got a treatment?

Yeah yeah that's a nice word for the treatment.

Ah, now maybe you could have gotten away with it 20 years ago,

but not today, not the way they go over those horses before and after every race.

In the first race of Valencia Park the official time for the six furlong sprint,

was one minute and 10 seconds flat a new track record,

Sweet Salute paid 88 and 40 cents to win,

52 to place and 28 to show, Target Bright paid...

How about that?

-a new track record. -A pig like that,

in 20 minutes they'll be giving a saliva test,

to everybody in the state including the governor.

I won't make any difference Arthur,

nothing's going to show up in the laboratory test,

this was my masterpiece.

-You gave the horse the treatment? -Oh no no,

the formula is mine,

but you know yourself, there's not a racetrack in the country,

that'll even let me look through the fence,

I gave 100 units of the stuff, that, that's enough for one treatment to a groom I know,

today was like our test flight.

Well what about this groom?

What about him?

I gave my last hundred bucks and a clean syringe,

I had to know how this stuff would work under actual racing condition.

You trusted the guy?

Well Arthur sometimes it can't be avoided,

and anyhow the way I had it figured I couldn't possibly get caught.

-Come on, come on. -And now listen Arthur,

this formula is absolutely harmless when administered to any form of mammal,

it works for 90 minutes, it doesn't show in the bloodstream or the nervous system,

Arthur what I’m trying to tell you,

is even if they do hold an investigation at Valencia Park,

why it'd be like frisk and a mausoleum picnic for booze,

we could do business together.

-Could we, why? -Because you're as hungry as I am,

and a contact man that knows the answers, is an absolute necessity to me.

Horses ain't my specialty, and besides I don't like jail,

the only livestock, I know anything about.

-No Arthur, no. -Why not he's a mammal Amy.

Yeah but that don't make him a horse.

Just try picking up his feet bill sometime.

-Now you wait a minute... -Now just a minute,

did you or didn't you say this stuff was harmless?

-Well as far as I know. -All right then, think ahead,

think ahead to next Tuesday night at 10 o'clock,

could this fat sheep turn into a roaring tiger,

say he's half the fighter he used to be,

Knockbuster Bigelow, boom, right into the mezzanine seats,

oh could we pick up a beautiful dollar,

got stuff with you?

I could have, why?

Something you said a minute ago about a test flight,

why couldn't we have a test flight right here in the gym?

I don't know.

He's going to work out with a sparring partner in about 10 or 15 minutes.

-I’d have to think about it. -Why?

because you hate money?

Oh come on Arthur, layoff, it's a matter of dignity let's say,

the invasion of privacy is what I mean,

and the fact that he ain't a horse.

What's with all this high-class intellectual talk, who are you supposed to be?

Atlas Stevenson?

Give me a pencil.

-How much he weigh? -Uh 220.

The way I got it figured out, 100 units,

is just right for a horse and top racing condition,

the average colt weighs about 1100 pounds,

-you say you weighs 220? -Oh give or take a chocolate pecan sundae.

Comes out to about a fifth of the quantity,

I’d say 20 units, any more would be taking a chance.

Look, how you give him 20?

Injection, in the arm just like vitamins.

Oh that's great, get it ready, he don't nees a needle,

no we give vitamins to these meatballs all the time,

all right soldier wake up, come on wake up,

wake up,

he sleeps like a bear, a season at a time.

-Funny I must have dozed off, huh. -Very funny,

you know he can sleep in a hammock full of cats,

soldier this is doc Murphy from Terre Haute, who just happened to be passing by.

Oh nice to see you doc.

-Hello soldier. -The doc's a fan of yours.

Oh that's nice,

I appreciate you dropping by doc.

You know the doc's got some new vitamins they ain't even on the market yet.

Oh that's real nice, a professional man taking an interest,

reminds me of a time in Cleveland I’m fighting as a child.

Never mind about Ezzard Charles.

-I couldn't have lost to a nicer fella. -Oh well you shut up?

-What I was going to say doc... -Will you just,

don't talk us to death,

the doc ain't got all day,

you can't buy these vitamins in the five and dime you know,

okay doc...

You give the doc your arm.

Never felt the doc,

I never felt a thing.

Save it for the workout.

Sure, hold it. Save it for the work sure.

it's just that I feel kinda good.

Now listen soldier,

yesterday this orangutan slapped you around like a pound of salami,

but today it's gonna be different,

today you're in charge,

now get in there and take him apart,

all right, let's go to work,

it's time.

Sorry Tipsy boy, you know what I mean,

I don't know what got into me.

-Yeah? -It's me.

-They're all gone. -Anybody see you come up?

Nobody that would recognize me,

-where's the soldier? -He's asleep.

What else...as he always.

Do you suppose he suspects anything?

How could he suspect anything when he,

ain't got brains enough to have a headache.

How much we make in cold cash, Arthur?

It's all right there in black and white.

3 500 and the tv, 2 800 plus some loose change from the gate,

I bet it all except the loose change at five to one,

so who needs horses?

from now on it's you and me all the way bootsy.

Once he fight again.

He fights Luther Felix in Chicago two weeks into night.

same tv producer, only double the money,

plus 30 of the gate, how about that?

Two weeks, he's gonna need more time than that,

if he's gonna fight anybody as tough as Felix.

Time for what?

For what?

well for his cuts to heal,

I don't care how sensational he was in there against Bigelow,

you know he got sliced up pretty good.

So what? he patches easy like grandma's quilt.

Oh come on Arthur you can't do that to the soldier.

Why not? since when did that meatball ever look like Robert Taylor?

All right you guys beat it,

-I want to talk to the soldier alone. -This is a romance Arthur?

Yeah, get out of here.

All right soldier,

it's time to go to work,

-it's time for our vitamins. -Sure arthur, sure.

-All right. -I don't see doc Murphy around no more Arthur,

he sure was a nice fella.

I’ll remember to tell him that.

You're a great fighter,

yes you are, all right let's go,

all right, jab, jab, hook, that up boy,

that's it oh you're a great fighter you're the greatest fighter that ever lived,

you're a tiger, you got seven sets of teeth.

Ah well bootsy, back on the big time,

New York city, layout like this it's the only place,

I feel at home, you know what I mean,

you know, you wouldn't have to sneak in and out,

of here like a dishonest milkman if you trusted me,

what kind of a partner are you? that has to look at the books at four o'clock in the morning?

This kind, it's the only time I can check up on you.

That's very funny,

now about the fight...

-What about? -Well is this about it,

he's not going to be in there with just some humpty dumpty this time,

he's going to be in there with the champion of the world.

-Yeah I know Arthur I’m listening. -Well the point I’m trying to make is,

the soldier's a national sensation,

now we got to protect the goose that lays the golden egg.

I notice how you've been protecting him every time he climbs out of the ring,

he looks like he just fought a freight train with his face.

It took him seven rounds to take care of Sonny Fialco,

nine rounds for that irishman in San Francisco,

I got an idea maybe he's building up a tolerance for the stuff.

-What about it? -There's this about it,

instead of giving him 20 units this time,

suppose we make it 30.

-Now wait a minute Arthur you know... -The championship's worth a million dollars,

a million for you and a million for me.

-I don't like it. -You don't like what?

Well I don't like getting this last bit of mileage,

out of an old retread like the soldier,

sure he wins all right,

but have you noticed lately that every time he climbs out of the ring,

his skull is lopsided and he's got that same glassy look in his eyes?

-Oh tell me more. -Well,

I say give the soldier a break, let him get knocked out on the level quick and merciful,

and well then the poor clown can retire.

Will you say that again?

Look Arthur, I’ve been a crook all my life same as you,

it's kind of embarrassing to get noble all of a sudden.

Why don't you go take a nice warm bath.

Arthur, I’m trying to tell you we never had it so good,

the soldier doesn't owe us a thing,

look, there was buster Bigelow,

Luther Felix, the irishman in San Francisco, Sonny Fialco,

the soldier came through for us like a four horsepower like, and do you know why?

because he had 20 units of that stuff pumping around inside of him each time,

suppose he does win this fight,

just think of the punches he's going to have to take with that open door style his,

think of a nice poor slob like the soldier walking,

around on his heels for the rest of his life.

-Oh... -Or going blind. -Oh...

you're breaking me up,

now if you don't want to have a nice warm bath try some booze,

we've got only the best.

Let's let the soldier off the hook,

let him get knocked out quick and merciful and then turn him out to pasture,

even if he ain't a horse.

Oh and another thing,

-after this there won't be any more. -Won't be any more what?

The formula,

it was never mind.

You're lying.

No no I’ve spooked a lot of horses in my time Arthur but,

as a chemist,

you turned me loose in a drugstore and I could,

just about mix a chocolate ice cream soda,

I got this from Freddy Piltz king of the spooks,

kind of a genius,

poor guy died in Leavenworth last year,

no Arthur, I’m leveling this time.

After this they're they're in anymore,

you're on your own.

Oh and uh Arthur another thing,

don't give him more than 20 units at a time.

-Is everything all right soldier? -Fine, Charlie just fine.

He's got the nervous system of an oyster.

You got 20 minutes soldier.

All right, come on you guys beat it,

all right come on look alive,

take off your robe it's time to warm up.

Sure Arthur, sure.

Ah it's time for your vitamins.

-They're 20 000 people out there tonight, you know that? -I know.

And you're fighting the champion of the world, now get that through your head.

-He's a real nice fella. -Who cares if he's a real nice fella.

-You want me to warm up now? -No no wait a minute,

you know, this is for the championship of the world,

few more vitamins,

can't do any harm,

all right soldier come on give me your arm,

now stand still,

you take care of that bum tonight you'll be the champion of the world,

that a boy, oh jab oh jab,

cat boy, cat boy, jab.

jab, had it, that's it, that's a boy,

that's it if you flatten this thumb tonight, you'll be the champion of the world,

all right come on jab, jab, jab, oh that's it knock it off,

I said knock it off soldier,

what's the matter with you? knock it off, soldier,

cut it off will you?

knock it off,

knock it off,

Soldier please.

He's dead.

That is the end of the story I think,

needless to say soldier was later apprehended,

I don't know how you feel,

but for me the story is merely a feeble overture,

to the greater music provided by our sponsor,

after which Alfred and I shall return.

Alfred has been strangely silent,

Alfred what are you up to?

Nothing, until next week,

good night.