Original subtitles

Good evening fellow tourists,

the first item on today's schedule,

is a stop of Buckingham palace for a view of the historic changing of the guard,

the gentleman performing the gymnastics,

is mr Wedgley of topper Iowa,

mr Wedgley is engaging in one of the favorite tourist sports,

he's trying to make the stern looking guardsmen smile,

in fact, mr Wedgley has made a small wager with me,

I’m afraid that wasn't quite what mr Wedgley had in mind,

on second thought I believe he did win his bet with me,

for I now see just the hint of a smile on the guardsman's face,

originally our tour schedule provided for one minute of free time at this point,

but because of this incident,

I think a brief eulogy would be appropriate.

APEX

Don't you think the gold is the prettiest?

Yes but for both couches and the chair.

Well they are companion pieces darling.

But that's going to put a lot of gold in this room,

do we have to decide right this minute?

No, but we should pretty soon,

the special on that material runs out this week.

All right,

if you like it go ahead.

Darling can't you stay for another drink?

Oh no I’m due at six,

I like being top dog in the company but it sure makes for long hours.

Claude... -Um?

I’m very proud of you.

All right, I’m home.

Darling where have you been?

I stopped at the club for a drink.

But I told you I’d make martinis,

we're doing Muriel’s in half an hour.

Oh honey I’m the most punctual husband in the business,

besides we're always the first ones there.

Ed Jensen’s coming tonight.

-Who's Ed Jensen? -Wilmington industries,

he and father are great friends,

we used to have his account.

What happened?

Oh after father died he and Joe Mayberry had some kind of an argument.

Well,

now that Mabry’s out,

maybe we can charm him back into the fold.

Claude,

were you really at the club?

Of course darling why?

I don't know it's just that well things haven't been the same lately,

there isn't anyone else, is there?

No honey for Pete’s sakes I just stopped for two drinks.

All right all right I’m sorry, I’II get my bag.

I don't know Margo don't you think it makes my face look even rounder?

Just the opposite I love it like this.

Okay if you say so.

And when Claude sees you he want to take you on a second honeymoon.

More than likely he won't even notice the difference.

Clara,

-is something wrong? -No, nothing.

Are you and Claude having trouble?

Not Claude, just me,

and I have nothing to go on,

no mysterious phone calls,

no handkerchiefs with lipstick on them,

but I think he's seeing another woman.

Claire I can't believe you.

You can't? we just had our seventh wedding anniversary,

that's when the itch is supposed to set in.

But you know how much Calude loves you.

I know how much he says he loves me,

oh Margo,

don't ever marry a man who's even a little bit younger or poorer than you.

Well it would be kind of hard to find anyone poorer.

-Oh you know I didn't mean it that way. -Course not darling.

But we've been neighbors for over a year,

I know you quite well Claire and,

I think I know Claude,

aren't you being a little bit unfair to him?

Well maybe.

Well you've told me how hard he's been working lately.

That's another thing,

he never discusses business with me anymore,

after all I do own the company,

maybe that was a mistake.

-What? -Making him president?

but if I do find anything going on,

he won't own any part of the company after the divorce.

Divorce?

Clara what are you talking about?

-you just said you don't have a shred of evidence. -Oh you're right,

oh dear it's getting late and I’ve got to go to the bakery,

I promised Claude we'd have cream puffs for dinner tonight,

he loves cream puffs,

don't pay any attention to me, I’m being ridiculous.

Goodbye Clara.

You're having cream puffs for dinner.

That's nice.

And you were right.

About what?

She suspects you,

she doesn't even know why but she does,

we're going to have to do something about it.

I know.

If she divorces you,

you lose everything.

I know I know.

Darling I understand how you feel but,

it's one thing to keep saying I know.

All right I’II do it,

I’II do it tonight.

I couldn't,

I just couldn't do it.

I couldn't do it Margo.

Claude oh Claude darling I understand,

really I do.

I could hire someone to do it,

I will hire someone to do it,

but when it comes to doing it myself...

Maybe,

maybe let me take care of this.

No no I don't want you to have anything to do with it.

I’II arrange it.

If I leave it to you,

I’m afraid it will never get done.

-Hello. -Clara?

Margo.

Oh yes dear.

Did I wake you up?

No no I I was just staring at the ceiling.

Oh is anything wrong?

No but uh,

well I I didn't sleep very well last night,

I had a horrible nightmare.

It was probably those cream puffs,

listen the reason I called, remember the rose petal tea,

you and Claude take on your honey moon?

-Yes. -Was it Magruder's genuine oriental rose petal teeth?

Well yes.

Stay right where you are I’ve got a surprise for you.

Clara?

In here.

-Hi. -You told me to stay where I was.

Look.

Margo, where did you find it?

Oh a little shop downtown,

now my suggestion to you is tonight instead of plying,

Claude with cream puffs you brew a part of that tea,

it'll bring back memories of those golden days on the islands,

and all your worries will be over.

Oh Margo please don't tease me about it,

-I’m too upset. -Darling I didn't mean to tease you,

Clara you've got to snap out of this it's it's just your imagination.

He left his office at 10 o'clock this morning and hasn't been back since,

is that my imagination?

Well you probably had some business appointments.

then why doesn't his secretary know about them?

-Did you try his club? -Yes he hasn't been there all day.

Well I’m sure there are a dozen explanations for it.

It's the real one that worries me.

Clara I’m not saying that what you're afraid of couldn't possibly be true but I,

I do know that once you decide you're going to be suspicious,

of a man you can find a million reasons for it.

Margo it's more than suspicion,

I know.

-How do you know? -I just do.

I know what you need to get things back into focus,

a nice hot cup of your favorite tea.

Oh I’d like that.

Margo,

I must tell you about my nightmare,

it was absolutely unbelievable,

I dreamt Claude was trying to kill me.

-Clara... -Really,

we were we were walking along a cliff somewhere,

then suddenly,

oh excuse me,

hello,

darling I’ve tried to reach you everywhere,

Charlie says what?

well you tell him that goes double for me and to give my love to Jessica,

oh of course, what time is the boy coming?

all right dear I’II give it to him,

and I’II see you at dinner,

goodbye,

oh he was at his golf club.

-You see, I told you. -Playing in a foursome with an old bald mind,

uh Charlie Mitchell, 15 years ago I almost married Charlie.

-Oh that Charlie, cream and sugar? -Oh no, thank you,

rose petal tea should be drunk just as it is,

you know, I never loved Charlie but maybe I should have married him anyway,

things might have been a lot different if I had,

I don't remember it's being as bitter as this.

Yes it is, isn't it?

It doesn't taste a bit like the tea we had.

Do you think maybe I steeped too long?

I don't think that would make this much difference

oh it's just awful.

But it is hard,

now why don't you finish it? it will make you feel better,

and then I think you ought to get up,

I think lying around in bed all morning makes you depressed.

I think you're right, why don't I take you to lunch?

I’ve bought a new hat and I’m dying to show it off.

Wonderful,

you finish your tea and I’II go and get ready,

it will only take me a minute.

Margo,

oh I don't think that's it's agreeing with me at all.

Oh dear and I I I did think it was such a good idea.

Are you all right Clara?

No I’m not,

Claude bought some sediments last night,

they're in the medicine chest please get some.

Of course.

Margo please hurry.

I’m looking for them but I can't seem to find them are you sure you put them in here?

Margo...

I think you better call a doctor,

it's dr Morgan,

his number's in the address book,

in the drawer.

I got it,

hello?

is this dr Morgan’s office?

yes, I’m calling for a patient of his,

uh mrs Claude,

mrs Claude Sharm,

Clara,

Clara...

Mrs Sharm?

it's me George Weeks.

Just a minute.

Your husband sent me to pick up the envelope,

it's in his desk,

he said he spoke to you a little while ago from the club.

Oh oh yes.

I’m a caddy out there,

guy my age two years of junior college,

best I can make is a caddy.

That's too bad.

Yeah,

well there are always uh,

little things on the side.

Here.

Like this,

1000 bucks,

man of his word.

Who?

Your husband,

but why he wants to get rid of a dish like you, I don't figure,

yeah,

As Esop would have said,

when you are part of a triangle,

it is wise to remain in your own corner,

as a result of the scene you have just witnessed,

Claude Benson and the stranger with the gun received punishment,

in keeping with their guilt,

and of course,

the guardsman who shot that tourist also received his just desserts,

he now wears the Victoria Cross,

I have an important announcement in just 60 seconds,

ah here is something else which should make our guardsmen smile,

that time the guard made no effort to shoot,

he just laughed out loud,

next week we shall be back with another story,

now I must beat you good night until then,

I believe the god is going into his shelter,

you know, it's remarkable how they retain their dignity at all times.