Original subtitles

Let me see your driver's license.

From out of town?

What you got in the trunk? - You don't want to look in there.

Give me the keys!

Kevin, stop singing. - I wasn't singing.

I'm right next to you, and you're singing. Cut it out!

Why so tense? - Otto! - Mr. Humphries!

You were late again this morning. Normally, I'd let it go,

but it's been brought to my attention, you're not stacking cans properly.

Many young men of your age, in these uncertain times...

Otto! Are you paying attention?

He's talking to you!

Fuck you!

Good Lord!

Come on, just try it!

Come on! - You gotta love getting fired in a big way, Otto!

What are you laughing at?

Louie, throw him out too. - Come on, you worm!

Get out of here!

How you doing, dude? When did you get out of the slammer?

Excuse me while I fold my pants.

What's the difference?

Otto! - What? - Get me another beer.

Cool. Ow, dammit. A joke's a joke, but I'm supposed to be the host!

Debbi, honey, I got your beer.

Shit.

Just ignore him, Duke, he's just a big baby.

Turn the light out! Hey, this is my parents' room!

Don't wanna talk about anything else.

We don't wanna know.

We're just dedicated

to our favorite shows:

"Saturday Night Live",

"Monday Night Football",

"Dallas", "Jeffersons",

Gilligan's Island, "Flintstones".

Hey kid! Hey!

Are you hard of hearing? - What? - You want to make 10 bucks?

Fuck you, queer! - Wait, you got the wrong idea!

My old lady is real sick. I got to get her to the hospital, OK?

So what? Take her there. - I can't leave her car in this area.

I need some helpful soul to drive it for me.

She's pregnant. Twins! She could drop at any time.

How much do I get? - 15 bucks. - Won't do it for less than 20.

25.

Follow me in my old lady's car. It's right here. - All right.

Where is your old lady? - Never mind, let's get out of this bad area.

Come on!

Dad, come quick, a gringo's messing with your car!

Let's go!

Son of a bitch! Give me my car back!

Bastard, I'll kill you!

You know damn straight what I mean. It's right outside.

Took me two weeks to get this money. - That ain't your car.

Don't let him lie to you. - Shut up!

Do I have to go to your house and shove your dog's head down the toilet?

Take it easy, sonnyboy. - Shut up, rent-a-cop!

Best goddamned car on the lot. - Damn right it is.

What's happening, mama, want a lift? - No thanks.

With no Cadillac, you sleep in a tent. - Shut up, Plettschner.

Bud, what street was that car on?

I don't know, some alley. Hey kid, what street was the Cutlass on?

I don't know. What happened to your old lady?

Old lady? Shit! I forgot all about her.

She'll take the bus. She's a rock.

Come on in.

Marlene!

Got a name, kid?

It's Otto.

Auto parts?

Here, kid!

"Helping Hand".

Got a driver's license, honey? Let me see it.

Guess who told us where it was? Your damned brother!

Are you really 21? - Isn't that what it says?

Want some help with that beer, kid?

You're all repo men! - What if we are?

You know, kid, usually when someone pulls shit like that,

my first reaction is to punch his fucking lights out.

But you know what?

You're all right!

Right, Lite? - Got any messages for me, baby? - Here you go.

Cracks me up.

Somebody piss on the floor again? - Maybe he's looking for a job.

Could be. What do you say, kid? We're always looking for good men.

Screw that! I ain't gonna be a repo man. No way!

Too late! You already are.

You find one in every car.

You'll see.

Years ago I saw five cows mutilated. Legs sticking up in the air.

Their testicles were gone.

I think Canadian bacon is better myself.

I've never seen the likes of that.

What could've done that to him?

Gasoline?

Napalm? - It happens sometimes.

People just explode. Natural causes. - What?

SUSPECT PRESENCE ON WESTCOAST CONFIRMED.

LOCATE IMMEDIATLY, NO POLICE.

Night watchman in Pomona.

Asbestos worker, City of Industry.

French-fry maker, Agoura. How absurd. - Yeah? You think it's funny?

There's room to move as a fry cook. I could be manager in two years.

King! God!

Kevin, I had this wild dream the other night. - I bet.

It was you and me,

we were working in this sleazy motel, down in Miami, Florida.

We were bellhops,

and we were 65 years old. It was so real, it was really realistic.

Then what, you woke up in a puddle?

Fuck you! - Fucking jerk!

Where are you going, asshole? - Away from you.

The Lord has told me personally: Yea,

for I walk with the Lord. Amen.

He said: "Larry, you and your flock shall seek the Promised Land.

First you must destroy the twin evils

of godless communism abroad and liberal humanism at home. Oh joy."

Hello mother! Hello father! Anything to eat?

Occasionally a viewer writes to us:

"The only reason Reverend Larry is on TV is because he wants your money."

You know what? They're right. I want your money, because God wants it.

So go out and mortgage that home, and sell that car,

and send me your money. You don't need that car...

Put it on a plate, son. You'll enjoy it more.

I couldn't enjoy it any more, Mom.

This is swell!

Hey Dad... - What is it, son?

Remember when you told me, a long time ago...

well not too long ago...

that you'd give me 1000 dollars to go to Europe, if I finished school?

You were right,

about finishing school. That's what I'd like to do.

But I want to know if I could have the money first. Like now?

I've always loved you, Dad.

You too, Mom. What do you say?

I don't have it anymore.

What? - Your father gave all our extra money to the Reverend.

We're sending bibles to El Salvador.

And me? - You're on the honor roll of "Chariots of Fire". Same as us.

It was a gift. From all of us.

So how much do I get paid? 25 bucks a car? - Paid? You don't get paid.

You work on commission, that's much better.

Most cars are worth 200 - 300 dollars.

A 50,000 dollar Porsche might make you five grand.

Come on, dickhead!

It helps if you dress like a detective.

Detectives dress kind of square.

If people think you're a cop, they think you're packing something.

Then they won't fuck with you.

Are you? - Am I what? - Packin' something.

Only an asshole gets killed for a car.

The guys who make it get in their car at any time.

Get in at 3 AM, get up at 4.

That's why there ain't a repo man I know that don't take speed.

Speed, huh?

Jesus Christ!

Never broke into a car, never hot-wired a car.

I never broke into a trunk.

I shall not cause harm to a vehicle, or the personal contents thereof.

Nor through inaction, let vehicle or personal contents come to harm.

That's what I call the repo code, kid.

Don't forget it. Etch it in your brain.

Not many people got a code to live by anymore.

Look at those assholes over there!

Ordinary people. I hate them. - Me too! - What do you know?

An ordinary person spends his life avoiding tense situations.

A repo man spends his life getting into tense situations.

Let's go get a drink.

Get into 5 or 6 tense situations a day

and it don't mean shit. I've seen men stabbed, guns... don't mean shit!

That's when you got to watch yourself. I'll handle it, pal, settle down.

Have a nice day, or night. Day, night, it doesn't mean shit.

Wasn't that Otto? - Otto who?

There'll be some bad shit coming down one day.

Yeah, and where will you be? On the moon?

I'm going to be right here, heading north at 110 per.

In this junker?

Cool car!

The Rodriguez Brothers!

Motherfucker just flipped you off! - Roll the window down!

Where you going, asshole? - To fuck your wife!

Watch it, motherfucker! - Fuck you, pussy punk!

Holy shit!

Want me to take them?

That was cool!

God damned dipshit Rodriguez gypsy dildo punks!

I'll get your asses!

That was intense! - A repo man's always intense.

Come on, let's go get a drink!

Gee Bud, you never told me it was going to be like this.

Cops and robbers!

Real live car chases!

Debbi! - If you say our names, we'll have to kill them, Archie.

They all ran away! - Come on, douche bags!

Awful quiet in here.

Too quiet.

Who are these Rodriguez Boys?

Rodriguez Brothers. Lagarto and Napoleon.

Notorious delinquents, responsible for at least 30 vehicles in the field.

Scumbags! - They ain't scumbags, they're car thieves, just like us.

There's Mrs. Magruder. You want to go for it?

Good gag. You pull this one a lot?

Only on women. Never fails.

Excuse me, Mrs. Magruder?

I have something for you.

How charming!

Motherfucker!

Lite, where are you?

Ruthside Peason, brokerage consultant. Millionaire, 6 payments behind.

I've never understood it. - What?

Millionaires never pay their bills. See you at the yard.

Let me get this one. - No, I'll do it. Mr. Peason has a permit for a pistol.

Hey! Give me that! - Don't underestimate me, ace.

Also, I would like them to be close to the window,

so I can sit in my car and watch them spin.

So all you have to do is take your clothes out, and

put them in the machine over there.

Oh my god!

Oh my god! Stop!

Hey! Do you need a ride?

Hey, baby, need a ride?

Pick it up!

Pick it up! You know yourself that you were wrong.

Why were they in the middle of the street? - They weren't.

That's not the middle of the street, that's the corner.

Go on, you pick it up. - What? - You pick it up!

No way! You still want a ride? - No I don't.

My name's Otto. - Leila.

Is this your car? - It's one of them.

One of them? You think you're pretty slick, don't you?

I'll bet you're a used car salesman.

I am not. - You dress like one.

I'm a repo man. - What's that?

A repossessor. I take back cars from dildos who don't pay their bills.

Cool, huh? - No.

What are you doing? - Those men in the car next to us, don't look!

If they see me they'll kill me.

Really? Why?

What the hell are you doing?

What's going on? - Take a look at this.

Looks like sausage.

It isn't sausage, Otto. That's a picture of 4 dead aliens.

Laugh away! It'll be on the cover of every major paper in two days.

How do you know? - I'm part of a secret network.

A scientist in our secret sect smuggled the corpses off an army base.

Now he's got them in the trunk of his car, a Chevy Malibu.

We've got to find him.

What will you do with them, put them on "Johnny Carson"?

Yes! We'll have a press conference and tell the world.

United Fruitcake Outlet.

My door doesn't work.

No matter how appealing, do not let strange creatures into your house.

Strange creatures are on the increase, many seem adorable, but beware!

We know not whence they came...

Thanks for the ride. - Sure.

Do you want to go out with me again?

I don't know, I'm kind of busy, with the Malibu and all.

Great. Terrific. Here's your shit!

What's your problem? Girls might like you if you lightened up a bit.

Fuck! Girls pay to go out with me. All right?

Wanna get back in the car?

What, here? - Yeah.

Fuck the seat!

20,000 dollars for a Chevy Malibu?

Who's "Double X Finance"? - Storefront operation.

But the money is in escrow.

Want me to notify the boys?

E.T. S WILL LAND ANY DAY NOW

No. I think I'll go out for a while. - Why? Are we out of beer?

Somebody has to work around here.

Keep making me money, kid. - Fuck you.

We've been after this red devil for a long time. Just act natural.

Nobody knows if it's your car or not. Don't worry about that.

You give it a try. All right?

Better be fast if he finds us, boy. - Got it!

Let's get out of here.

Oh, man!

Put your seatbelt on, boy!

I don't ride with anybody without a seatbelt. It's one of my rules.

Put that gun down, boy. It ain't no toy. Shit!

I walk into someone's place of work.

They're shit scared. They know I'm not a cop.

They think I've come to kill them, and I would.

I'd kill anybody who crosses me. You know what I mean?

Do you like music? - Sure.

Then you'll love this.

I was into these dudes before anybody. Partied with them all the time.

Asked me to be their manager. I called bullshit on that.

Managing a pop group? That ain't a job for no man.

Did you read that book I gave you? - What book?

"Dioretix. The Science of Matter over Mind".

You better read it, and quick. That book will change your life.

Found it in a Maserati in Beverly Hills. Know what I mean?

Lots of people don't realize what's really going on.

They view life as a bunch of unconnected incidents and things.

They don't realize that there's this

lattice of coincidence on top of everything.

I'll give you an example to show you what I mean:

Suppose you're thinking about a plate of shrimp.

Suddenly, somebody says: Plate, or shrimp, or plate of shrimp.

No point in looking for an explanation.

It's all part of a cosmic unconsciousness.

Did you eat a lot of acid, back in the hippie days?

I'll give you another instance:

You know the way everybody's into weirdness right now?

Books in all the supermarkets about Bermuda Triangles,

UFOs, how the Mayans invented TV, that kind of thing?

I don't read them books.

For me it's exactly the same.

There's no difference between a flying saucer and a time machine.

People get so hung up on specifics, they can't see the whole thing.

Take South America, for example:

There, thousands of people go missing each year.

Nobody knows where they go. They just disappear.

But if you think about it, you realize something:

There had to be a time when there was no people, right? - Yeah.

Well, where did all these people come from?

I'll tell you where: The future.

Where did all these people disappear to?

The past? - That's right! And how did they get there?

How the fuck do I know?

Flying saucers.

Which are really...

yeah you got it... ...time machines.

I think a lot about this stuff.

I do my best thinking on the bus. That's how come I don't drive.

You don't even know how to drive.

I don't want to know how. See?

The more you drive,

the less intelligent you are.

I think I saw one of those UFOs once.

It was really kind of scary, it was all these colored lights and sounds.

Sounds and lights like I've never heard before. It was really weird.

Bud? Do you think all repo men follow the code?

Of course.

A lot of fucked up cars come in, but mostly the customer's fucked them up.

Assholes!

I'll give 1000 dollars for his Falcon. That's a bribe, Napoleon.

Who the hell is this? "Napoleon"? Who are you calling?

A grand if you show me where his car is.

Go fuck yourself, asshole!

Hello?

Prick!

64 Chevy Malibu. 20 grand.

I'm waiting! - We could buy 10 of them for that.

Think you can find it now? - Why is this junk worth so much? What's in it?

Drugs?

Los Hermanos Rodriguez don't approve of drugs.

Neither do I, but it's my birthday.

That motherfucker's still down there.

I don't care how long it takes, dildos!

A repo man's got all night, every night.

Jesus Christ! 20,000 dollars!

Hi, this is Leila. Please leave your name,

number, and a brief message, and the time you called, at the beep.

And please try to be frank.

Hey Leila. This is Otto, the guy who gave you the ride.

I heard something about that car.

Otto. Otto, stop! You wanted to tell me something.

What did you want to tell me?

Take off your clothes.

I'm at work, Otto. - Yeah? Me too.

Your work is different than mine. - Says who?

What are you doing? Don't!

At least you could give me a blowjob.

I guess that means no.

We have a cell meeting in two minutes time.

Thanks, Deadra. I'll be right there.

That motherfucker thinks I don't know what's up, Lite.

As soon as I find that Chevy, I'm going indy.

I'm getting myself a tow truck, a couple of pit bulls and a yard.

Sit around and watch everyone else work for a while.

You can't do that on 20 grand. - The hell I can't.

As long as you have good credit, and my credit is spotless.

Credit is a sacred trust.

It's what our free society is founded on.

Do you think they give a damn about bills in Russia?

I said, do you think they give a damn about their bills in Russia?

They don't pay bills in Russia. It's all free.

All free? Free my ass! What are, you, a commie?

I'm no commie. - You better not be! I don't want no commies in my car.

No Christians either!

I'll deal with you later. I've got a customer.

You too.

Hi, I'm Kevin. Vacuum, sir?

Need a vacuum, sir?

Want me to check the trunk?

Excuse me?

Hi, I'm Kevin! - Hey, don't you remember me? I was here yesterday.

I think I left my matches in your office. Can you go and check for me?

Sure thing.

Anything for you. - You're beautiful. - I'll be right back.

What?

It's very simple, Mrs. Parks.

You don't want me to take it, and I don't want to.

I said to my boss: Look, I don't want to repossess this lady's car.

I've been in the hospital, you see. - I understand.

But my job is really on the line over this one.

I'll see if I can borrow some money. - That's terrific. Terrific.

How was rehearsal, son? - Okay. Who's this?

This is Mr. Otto, deary. From the finance company.

He told me he isn't going to take the car this time,

even though he could.

Well...

gotta get going.

Did you like the tea?

The tea?

Yeah, it was terrific.

Thank you. - You're welcome.

I gave you the money last week, and you didn't pay it.

I'm tired of giving you money, and you squandering it.

You all went out dancing somewhere.

Next time, you better put the money on the car. You're working.

How come you didn't do it? What's wrong with you?

Hey, everything's cool! I like music too, man.

Some people ain't cut out to be a repo man. Why don't you smarten up?

Fuck you, Plettschner!

Don't say fuck to me! Don't you know who I am?

You're Plettschner. - Damn right! Otto Plettschner.

3 times decorated in 2 world wars. I was killing people while you

were in your dad's balls.

Worked 5 years in a slaughterhouse and 10 years as prison guard.

So what? - "So what"? Never say "fuck you" to me,

because you haven't earned the rights yet.

Hey kid, I need a contract driver.

See what I mean, punk?

Fuck you! - Fuck you!

You scumbag! - Shut up, Plettschner.

Don't ever tell me to shut up.

Shit!

It's too hot in here, man. What the hell's going on?

That shit in the trunk must be melting. We better take a look.

Get us 2 sodas. - As soon as I check the trunk.

We're just the mules. OK? Move it.

"Helping Hand" - Marlene, we found the car.

Come on, guys!

Get the ladder! - Stop pushing, Duke!

My medication! Aw man! - Be cool, dude. We got more.

Let me help, Archie.

Come on!

Well, that's not all. This car is hot. - What, stolen?

No, hot, really hot. We're sweating like pigs, man.

Where is the car from? - Someplace...

...Roswell, New Mexico.

Me, fight in a war? No way!

Nobody's got to do that shit. Not in this country.

A new ID don't cost no more than a pink slip.

Something wrong?

You know, that Marlene,

she's pretty hot.

Otto, my man, I jumped on that action from day one.

I found out where she's coming from.

See you back at the yard. - Have fun.

Holy shit!

Holy fucking shit!

Lite! Open the door!

There's a maniac in there. What are you doing?

Open the door!

What are you doing? Open the door!

You're still on the job, white boy. Get in the car. - Open the door, Lite!

Get in the car! - Jesus Christ!

You're crazy, Lite.

You can't just shoot into peoples' houses.

Maybe you shot the guy. - So what if I did?

I don't know. I mean, that's pretty severe.

Jesus Christ!

Hey, blanks do the job too.

You repo men are all out to lunch. Let's get out of here.

Hello?

Is it you? This is Leila. Are you using a scrambler?

I can't hear you, I'm using a scrambler.

Look out! - What?

Happy face!

You want a ride?

Help!

No!

What do you want from me? - We ask the questions.

Are you going to torture me? - Torture you? What for?

To find out what I know. I'd torture someone in a second.

Why are you after the Malibu? - Because of the aliens in the trunk.

Illegal aliens? - No, silly, extraterrestrials.

Ever thought about joining the CIA? - I have to ask my boyfriend.

Otto Maddox, Male, White, 21... Correction: 18.

What's going on? - The usual.

Hi Marlene! How you doing, baby?

Jesus, who done that to you? - Who done what?

"Who done what", he says. Who did that to your face, kid?

Some dude. It doesn't matter. - Oh yes it does!

Do something, Plettschner. Aren't you a cop?

I'm on my coffee break.

Repo man don't go running to the man. Repo man goes it alone.

Yessireebob!

Just like John Wayne. - Damn right! What's wrong with that?

Greatest American that ever lived. - John Wayne was a fag. - What?

What? - John Wayne was a fag.

The hell he was!

He was too, boys.

I installed 2-way mirrors in his pad in Brentwood.

And he came to the door in a dress.

You're nuts. - That doesn't mean he was a homo, Miller.

A lot of straight guys like to watch their buddies fuck. I know I do.

- Don't you? - I sure do.

Fuck John Wayne! Tell us his name, you little pussy!

Piss off, ass-wipes.

You bastards! - Easy!

The guy's head is hurt.

You're taking this too personal, son.

The thing is, a repo man got beat up in the line of duty.

It doesn't matter that it was you.

What really matters, is that the guy pays the price.

Now stop being selfish, and tell us his name.

Come on!

Bastard!

All right!

OK, his name was...

Mr. Humphries? - Yes?

Yes, I'm Mr. Humphries. What do you want?

...U.S. Planes napalmed refugee camps in southern Mexico. He explained that

the camps were really guerrilla bases.

In Guatemala, shots were fired at the U.S. Embassy...

"Helping Hand", Marlene speaking. - Hello, is Otto there?

It's for you. A girl.

Hi Otto? It's Leila.

Leila who?

Can't believe I once liked these guys. - Listen to me!

For the sake of future generations, please tell us everything you know.

Sure, I need another drink.

These aliens aren't even on ice, they could be starting to decay.

We've got to find them.

Well, well, well!

If it ain't the repo man. - You look like shit, wanker.

Duke, Debbi, Archie,

meet Leila and her weird friend.

How you doing, asshole?

How come you don't hang out with your friends anymore? - What friends?

Want some ludes, dude?

I really love you.

Because you always visited me when I was in juvie.

I was busy. I told you I was working.

Wow, a metal hand!

Cool!

Can we feel it?

Fuck this! Let's go do some crimes.

Nice friends you got there, Otto

Thanks, I made them myself.

Hey, what the fuck are you doing with our car? - Your car?

Are you sure? This looks like my car.

Are there pecan pies in the back? - Not any more. We ate them.

Shut up, Archie. - You shut up. - You're still here?

My car looks just like this.

But this is yours, your car?

Yeah, 4 eyes. - Of course...

What's in the trunk? - What do you mean?

You don't even know what's in your own trunk. You know what?

I think you're afraid to find out.

Kill him!

I ain't afraid of nothing, see? - I don't blame you for being afraid.

I said, I ain't afraid of nothing. I kill people like you.

Oh well, I guess you're right.

It's better not to look.

Beautiful evening. You can almost see the stars.

Oh shut up!

He's going to open it.

Come on, Duke! - The thing is hot!

Look, we don't have all night.

Close it, Duke! No!

Dukie Wookie hurt his wittle hand.

Fuck you, Archie!

Just for that, you're not in the gang. - I'm taking over now.

Oh, leave it! - King Archie!

The Invincible! - Shut up, Archie!

Watch this!

Oh dear!

What a shame! - Come on, Duke, let's go do those crimes.

Yeah. Let's get sushi... and not pay.

Hey buddy!

Special deputies, pull over!

Special deputies, pull over!

So the farmer says the ice broke and he fell in...

Look at these people, there's one person in each car.

The city wants us to carpool, but nobody gives a shit.

If people carpool, we'd be out of work. - Bullshit!

"Why has that pig got a wooden leg?"

"Well," said the farmer, "about 3 months ago..."

Look at that car!

Hey, Budsky, there's your girlfriend.

The Rodriguez Brothers!

We got the whole team here tonight, let's settle this for good.

Let's do it! - Pull over!

Shit, it's Bud!

Don't lose him!

Take it easy. Stop the car!

Motherfucker, come on! What are you waiting for?

Motherfucker! I kick your fucking ass! Come on!

Come on! What'll you do with that bat?

You bad, Bud! This is going to cost you plenty! - What do you mean?

How's your neck, Napoleon? - Oh, my neck. Yeah. Oh shit!

I think I got whiplash!

Besides, this isn't a repo car. - Bullshit! I got the papers on it.

We paid it off. See, this is our favorite car.

That's right! You got insurance?

Come on, cocksucker! Whose side are you on?

Let me loose, God damn it!

Shit! This is bullshit, Oly!

Yeah, that's what I said when the marshal woke me at 4 in the morning.

Unfortunately, it's a summons.

You should have refused it. - Have you read it?

The Rodriguez Brothers are suing us for malicious damage, medical expenses

and harassment, for a car they own. - The Rodriguez Brothers are...

you believe the Rodriguez Brothers? They're a couple of scumbags!

I know, but we need to sit down and get our stories straight.

You're taking their word over mine! - I was there, remember?

Go home. Take the rest of the week off.

The rest? I can't take the...

Oh I get it, so that you can get the 20,000 dollars for the Malibu.

Make it a fucking month! - Well, fuck you.

On second thought, don't bother coming back at all.

Great! I'll come back to get my stuff when the place don't stink so bad.

Shut up!

Fucking trash! I wonder how much they owe?

Most of them are on the run, not even using their social security numbers.

If there was only a way to make them pay...

Jesus, Bud, they're winos! They don't have money.

Would they be bums if they did? - Do you want out?

No! - What's the matter with you?

Don't you like your job anymore?

I feel like we're not communicating anymore.

When we first started out, I thought I could teach you something.

Answer me!

I'm picking up the dead body. I've got my hands around it.

I'm carrying his limp torso to the truck.

He feels like he's been dead only a little while.

Do you ever feel as if your mind had started to erode?

No.

Ever been to Utah?

Sir, I represent the "Helping Hand Acceptance Corporation."

Radiation, yes indeed!

You hear the most outrageous lies about it.

Half-baked, goggle-boxed do-gooders telling everybody it's bad for you.

Pernicious nonsense! Everybody could stand 100 chest x-rays a year.

They should have them too.

When they cancelled the project, it almost did me in.

One day my mind was ready to burst, the next day, nothing!

Swept away.

But I showed them. I had a lobotomy in the end.

Lobotomy? Isn't that for loonies?

Not at all. A friend of mine had one.

Designer of the neutron bomb. Ever heard of the neutron bomb?

Destroys people, leaves buildings standing.

Fits in a suitcase so small, no one knows it's there, until: Blam!

Eyes melt, skin explodes, everybody dead.

It's so immoral working on it, it can drive you mad.

That happened to a friend of mine, so he had a lobotomy.

Now he's well again.

What kind of car does he drive?

Chevy Malibu.

This is really a nice old car. Why don't you let me drive?

What do you mean?

I don't know... I mean... don't you feel funny?

Why should I feel funny?

The two hemispheres are fundamentally at odds.

Hemisphere, hemisphere.

It's strange, I do feel funny...

PARTY AT MILLERS CU THERE!

Here's the young new waver we've all heard so much about.

My old man used to have a Mohawk.

He was in the service then.

He was such a monster, I used to have to tell him no.

My old man was the same, until we got married.

Hey Oly, your wife's all over Otto.

Like flies on shit.

Have you seen Bud? - Who?

Hey Ace, wait up.

You want to talk about it? - Talk about what?

Why are you so mad at me? - I'm not mad at you.

I'm not. - All right. OK.

Debbi? - What?

I've been thinking.

Now that we got some money,

and Archie's gone...

don't you think it's time we settled down?

Get a little house?

I want you to have my baby. - Why?

I don't know.

Everybody does it.

And it just seems like the thing to do.

Asshole.

Let's do the job!

Duke! Debbi! What are you doing here?

What's it look like, Ace? - Against the wall!

I'll kill him! I kill everybody!

Drop it, motherfucker!

Shit!

Is it too late to get romantically involved?

A little.

Wait! Stick with me, and I'll make you a repo wife.

Bollucks!

Here!

I'm here, man.

The lights are growing dim.

I know a life of crime led me to this sorry fate...

And yet, I blame society.

Society made me what I am.

Bullshit! You're a white suburban punk, just like me.

But it still hurts.

You're gonna be all right.

Maybe not.

He's dead all right. - No doubt. - A goner. - Man.

Booth's setting him on fire.

The car!

The Chevy Malibu! Where's the car?

You better stay out of this. - Why? - It's none of your business.

You want to be a hero? I'd rather be a chicken man. - A what?

A chicken man. Did you ever see a farmer's wife?

Let go of me!

It's peaceful, man.

The Malibu!

Let's go!

No, wait. My car's gone, and we're going to get to the bottom of this.

Like hell we are.

Not in my face!

Freeze, Marlene!

My face! - Over my dead body.

If that's how you want it. - Come and get me. Come on!

I've been wanting to for a long time. - Come on.

Come on, if you're man enough. - Hey Plettsch!

Coffee break!

Good evening, Otto. This is Agent Rogersz.

I'm going to ask you a few questions.

Since time is short and you may lie, I'm going to have to torture you.

But I want you to know, it isn't personal.

This isn't really necessary. I'll tell you anything you want to know.

Good. Where is the Malibu? - I don't know.

Somebody ripped it from the yard.

I don't think he knows. - Increase the voltage!

But what if he's innocent? - No one is innocent. Proceed.

Look at them. High heels, hairnets, ridiculous trenchcoats,

how pathetic!

Agent Rogersz, they're getting away! - It's all part of the plan.

Otto, pull yourself together.

Marlene!

What's going on? - We're going to the hospital.

Dr. Benway to surgery.

Hey, I know you! You're the one who ran into my trash.

Shh yourself!

Visiting hours are now over. Thank you.

Out of order. Take the stairs.

Mr. Lee:

Mr. Lee: Please return the scalpel, Mr. Lee.

Let me see that. All wrong! Do it over.

...and they won't pick it up. - Isn't it a shame?

It comes to something when they expect you to pick it up.

How are you doing? - Ask him about the Malibu.

About that night,

I'm sorry I split. I should have stayed with you.

But when I was a kid, I had this set of big wheels...

Please, quiet in the stairwell.

A very sad and unchristian thing just happened.

A sweet old lady's car was stolen,

a Chevy Malibu.

Brothers and sisters please, if you've seen this car,

call this toll-free number.

Shit. - Praise the Lord!

Go, go!

Come on!

Let's go!

Don't shoot! All right!

Chickenshits!

Where's the Malibu?

Don't even ask, because I don't know.

I don't have it, neither does Marlene, nor you or your crazy friends.

So that leaves...

Where is he? - Where the fuck is he? - He is risen. Holy...

Later! - Bye bye!

Here's another weird one: Apparently, a hail of ice cubes is coming down

south of downtown. Scientists are at a loss to explain...

Some weird fucking shit, eh?

What's going on? - Shit!

11 years of repoing cars, and what have I got? Shit!

Bud, listen: You're sitting in a car worth 20,000 dollars.

Look, we turn it in and split the money, 60-40, you and me.

Who gets the 60, kid?

Well, I thought, since I found the car first, that...

that you'd get it.

Get away from the car. This is your only warning.

We got problems, man!

No, no no no! Wait!

Stop fucking around! Only assholes get killed for a car.

You calling me an asshole, punk?

I sure am. - Come and get me, copper!

I'm well-armed, and I know where you live.

Son of a bitch! - I'd rather die on my feet than live on my knees.

Come on, you popsicles, let's get that car!

Hey Oly, there's Bud!

We'll drive it off a cliff. - I have the car papers. Beer anyone?

Hey, Bud, want a beer? - No, a cigarette.

No beer is needed here.

I'm touching the car. I'm encountering a strange,

eerie kind of forcefield. I don't know what it is. It's...

Go on, you popsicles!

I'm having the same feeling...

I love this job. - Linear and inverse vectors merge in zero.

This way, your Holiness!

It's more than a job, it's... it's a calling.

Critical mass is at zero... - Why, you could say it's spiritual.

Holy sheepshit!

Get back, get back!

Get in there, or you don't get paid!

Have you read this book? "Dioretix"?

Chapter 7, verse 3. - I've got it marked.

Miller, what are you doing? - I'm going for a little spin.

But you don't know how to drive?

Otto, don't go!

What about our relationship?

What?

What about our relationship?

Fuck that.

You shithead!

I'm glad I tortured you. I'm supposed to be in that car!

Best goddamned car in the yard.

Wow! This is intense!

The life of a repo man is always intense.