All language subtitles for 查莉成长日记S01E15

Hey, you guys want to
see something funny?

Oh, if this is where
you lift your shirt up.

And make your belly button
sing... no, thank you.

Even better. Check out this
video I made of Charlie.

Being a baby stinks.

Food's too mushy,
gross and too juicy,

And the TV shows they make
me watch are insulting.

Ahh, much better.

Life is good.

P.J., you are gonna have to put
that online so Grandma can see it.

Grandma knows how to go online?

P.J., you're gonna have to put that on a
DVD so Grandma can watch it.

Grandma got a DVD Player?

Okay, P.J., you're just gonna have
to go over to Grandma's house,

and act it out for her.

♪ Today's all burnt toast ♪

♪ Running late, and Dad jokes ♪

♪ Has anybody seen my left shoe ♪

♪ Close my eyes, take a bite ♪

♪ Grab a ride, laugh out loud ♪

♪ There it is up on the roof ♪

♪ I've been there, I survived ♪

♪ So just take my advice ♪

♪ Hang in there, Baby,
things are crazy ♪

♪ But I know your future's bright ♪

♪ Hang in there, Baby ♪

♪ There's no maybe ♪

♪ Everything turns out all right ♪

♪ Sure life is up and down ♪

♪ But trust me,
it comes back all around ♪

♪ You're gonna love
who you turn out to be ♪

♪ Hang in there, Baby ♪

Okay, where is the library?

Donde esta la libraria?

Okay, you're really cute
when you roll your Rs,

But it's "biblioteca."

Biblioteca.
But say "libraria" again.

Libraria.

Your rrr's make me all, mmm.

Hey, listen, I want
to ask you something.

Ooh, that sounds interesting.
What is it?

Well...

Gabe, do you mind?

No, you can stay.

Let's go upstairs.

Good idea.
I was gonna say something,

But I didn't want to be rude.

Okay, now what did you want to ask me?

I was wondering if...

It was embarrassing.
It was a simple question.

Your father shouts at me
from two aisles away,

"Hey, Ames, what kind
of toilet paper you like...

quilted or super-quilted?"

Hey, look, Spencer's here.

So what, the world doesn't know

that the great Amy Duncan
uses toilet paper?

Nice to see you,
Mr. And Mrs. Duncan.

After all that shouting,
you got the wrong kind.

Well, that's because I'm not
Bob the toilet paper psychic.

Right this way.

Well, on the bright side,

you got the wrong trash bags too.

Sorry about my parents.

Wow, I say that a lot.

So what I wanted to ask you was...

I'm gonna get you!
I'm gonna get you!

Yes, I am.
Yes, I am.

Yes, I am.

Okay, let's go outside.

It usually takes him
a while to get her.

Okay, I think I'm all out
of family members,

But you'd better talk fast.

Okay, I was wondering.

If you would wear my
football jersey on Friday.

It's sort of a tradition
that the players' girlfriends.

Wear their jerseys on game day.

So that would make me.

Your girlfriend?

Yeah.
Cool.

Because I wasn't
exactly sure of our status.

And I was too nervous to ask.
And I didn't want to be one of those girls.

That made you talk about it.
But then again...

So that's a yes on the Jersey?

Of course it's a yes, boyfriend.

Back to the store,

Where the correct answer
was super-quilted!

Whoa, this is amazing.
That Charlie video has gone viral.

What does that mean?

That it's gotten a million
hits since last Tuesday.

And now I'll answer
your next question.

That means over a million
people have seen it.

So what, you put
that on the Facetube?

Yeah, that's right, Dad...
the Facetube.

I'm gonna be on TV.

What?
The Channel 8 news just called.

And now that this video
is all over the Internet,

They want to do an exclusive
on the "Farty Charlie" family.

So we're all gonna be on TV?

That's what I meant.

And this is our family room.

Your family what?

Our family rrroom.

Oh, it's so nice and peaceful here.

Well, it's a big house
and it's just me, Mom and Dad.

Oh, how wonderful.

Mom, Dad, this is Teddy.

Hi, nice to meet you,
Mr. And Mrs. Walsh.

Oh, please, I'm Linda.
This is Paul.

Spencer has told us so much about you.

You're even prettier than he said.

Dad, stop.

Oh, no, it's okay.
I don't mind being pretty.

Oh, Spence, before I forget,

Your mom did the cutest
thing in the store today.

She pointed out an eggplant
in the shape of a heart.

And said it reminded her of me.

Well, it did.

They must shop at a different
store than my parents.

Well, let me put these away and
I'll fix you kids a quick snack.

Oh, that's a beautiful guitar.

Oh, thank you. I picked this
up on our last trip to Spain.

Do you mind if I play?

No, go ahead.

Yeah, my brother...
he plays guitar and he...

sounds nothing like that.
Oh, that is so pretty.

Thank you.
Teddy, have a seat, relax.

Okay.

Oh, massage chair.

Ni-i-i-ce.

Smoked salmon and dill on toast points.

That's a snack?

I dabble in the culinary arts.

Mm, you more than dabble in that.

Oh wait, can I have one more?

You want to start studying?

In a mi-i-inute.

Well, I'm not surprised.
Once you're on top,

they just want to knock you down.

What are you talking about?

Listen to some of these comments
about the Charlie video.

Fredr5178 says,

"Cute, but you got lucky,
one-hit wonder."

Here's another one... "You're a
pathetic, no-talent loser!"

With about 19 exclamation points.

That one's from Gabe D.

Who are these people?

There's no way to know.

Gabe honey, come here.

I want to show you something
very exciting from Mommy's past.

Teddy told me if I ever heard those words,

I should just keep walking.

Park it.

Now in preparation for
our television appearance

I'm studying some of my
previous broadcast work.

I used to be a reporter.

For the southwest
Denver community college.

Action news team.

We reached dozens of viewers
all across the country.

This is one of my
hardest-hitting pieces.

In my hand I'm holding.

Something new to our campus...

a cell phone.

"Cell" is short for "Cellular"

Believe it or not,

You can use this
phone wherever you go.

I know it sounds crazy,

But as Paula Abdul would say,

"I'm tellin' ya
straight up."

It was good.
It was really good.

Oh, unbelievable. Are you kidding me?
That's the worst throw!

Hi.

Hey, Teddy.
Hey, what you got there?

Leftovers from Spencer's house.

Come on!

I can't watch this.
I'm turning it off.

No, no, wait, wait.
The commercial with the talking foot.

Dinner!

Grab your buns.
It's sloppy Joe night.

Mom just said,
"grab your buns."

It's going fast, Teddy.
I'm fine, thank you.

Ooh, what are you having?
Toast points with salmon and dill.

Toast points?
I say what's-the-points.

Hey, check out Charlie.

She put sloppy joe on her face.

Because she's a baby.
What's so funny?

It's not just funny 'cause she's a baby.

See, this works on all ages.

Now Gabe, you know that's not right.

Yeah, it should be more like this.

Okay, all right, all right, cut it out.

Next person who throws sloppy joe...

Guys, you know, at Spencer's house.

The food goes directly from
their plates to their mouths.

How is that fun?

I'll let you know tomorrow night because
I'm going over there for dinner.

His mom is making quail.
Not sloppy quail... quail.

You can't go over
there tomorrow night.

The Channel 8 news crew is coming over.
They're gonna interview the whole family.

Yeah, I think I'll pass.

What, you don't want
to be on TV with me?

Us.
Us?

No, I don't want to be a part
of the "Farty Charlie" family.

It's embarrassing.

It's embarrassing.

Or we're embarrassing?

Yes.

More for us.
Yep.

Nobody calls P.J. Duncan
a one-hit wonder.

Behold "Farty Charlie II."

Hey, I'm Charlie.
I'm feeling extra gassy today.

Uh-oh, here comes.

Ahh, that's better.

So what do you think?

Where do I begin?

That wasn't even Charlie.
That was a doll.

Because Charlie had to take a nap.

Plus, you can only tell
'cause you're her brother.

No, I could tell because her foot
was facing the wrong direction.

Well, did you like anything about it?

Well, I liked...

No.

Man, the people are right.
I am a one-hit wonder.

Look, you had a good run.

30 seconds?

Look, I'm trying to put
lipstick on a pig here.

You're a failure.

Lipstick on a pig...
that's hilarious.

I just got an idea for my next film.

If anyone needs me,

I'll be at the drugstore, then the zoo.

Oh, honey, it's Teddy.
Where's Spence?

Oh, he won't be back
for a couple of hours.

Oh, am I early?

Did I accidentally come here too early.

By mistake somehow?

It's fine.
Because I could wait outside.

Oh, don't be silly. Go on, have a seat.
Make yourself at home.

Oh, does that one vibrate too?

No, just that one.
Oh.

Would you prefer that one?

Hey, there's an idea.

So how are you, dear?

Well, now that you ask,

I'm a little snacky.

Ahh.

P.J. Duncan, director;
This is Gabe, entourage.

Hi, I'm Rick Coleman, Channel 8 news.

Listen, I've got a lot of
exciting new projects coming up,

So if you could mention the
words "pig" or "lipstick,"

You might get yourself an exclusive.

Hi, this is Charlie.
I'm Bob.

Of "Bob's Bugs Be Gone."

Yeah. You've seen
my trucks around town?

And the big bug on your shirt.

Oh, didn't even realize
I was wearing this.

Or that she's wearing
the exact same shirt.

Hey, what do you know?

Hi, everybody.

I'm Amy, Charlie's mom.

And former anchor for
"Good Morning Campus Today."

Listen, if you run into any problems,

during your segment,
just throw it to me.

I'll be your
go-to gal.

Honey, have you rehearsed what you're
gonna say about your business?

Rehearsed?
I'm just gonna wing it.

No no, Bob, you're not
very good at winging it.

Remember your wedding vows?

"I like her."

Honey, I was a little nervous.

And that was a long time ago.
I'm gonna be fine.

Hey, Mom, you have
something on your face.

Oh, where?
Everywhere.

Honey, you need to wear
a lot of makeup on television.

So that you're not washed out
under all the lights.

The kids don't know this because
they're not in the media arts.

I don't know how long it's been

since you've been in the media arts,

but with hi-def
you don't need a lot of light.

Oh, well, how will
my makeup look in hi-def?

Should be interesting.

Okay, let's do this.

This is Rick Coleman,

And I'm here with
Denver's newest celebrity.

Who's been seen by, well, pretty
much everyone with a computer.

She's cute.
She's funny.

She's Farty Charlie!

Back to you, Rick.

And here we are on our family
reunion last summer in Aspen.

You were staying in a lodge?

No, no, that's our cabin.

Our lodge is on the other
side of our mountain.

Dad, stop. You're making
us sound like we're rich.

We don't have our own mountain.

We share it with another family.

Speaking of families, Teddy, when
are we gonna get to meet yours?

Uh, they're kind of busy,

So maybe next summer.

Or the one after that.

Okay, everyone, I have
the news on in the kitchen.

You have got to
see these people.

And when they saw
what great work I was doing.

out in the field, they said,

"Hey, we need her on
'Good Morning Campus Today.'"

Rick, you might say,

it was an offer I couldn't refuse.

If we could get back to Charlie...

why don't we talk
to her proud papa?

Whew.

Whoa, look, Dad, you're sweating
right through your shirt.

Uh...

You know, Rick,

something I find very interesting,

is that cell phones have
gotten so much smaller.

Back to you, Rick.

So, P.J., you're the director
of this little epic.

That's right, Rick... director,
writer, editor and voice.

I don't know what a producer does,

but I probably did that too.

What are you doing?

Well, you just give it to me
and I'll throw it back to you.

No, we're done.

At least let me throw it back
to Yolanda in the studio.

No, I do that.
Back to Yolanda in the studio.

What is wrong with you people?

I thought you'd enjoy that.

You have no idea.

What a family.
The woman...

she looks like a circus clown.

Clowns are fun.

What about the big sweaty oaf?
He was a piece of work.

Oafs are fun.

Where did they find these people?

Mom, Dad, stop, okay?
That's Teddy's family.

That's a good one, Spence.

No, he's not kidding.

Oh, but Teddy, you're
nothing like those people.

You're so poised and
sophisticated and...

Excuse me?

I said...

I can do that because I'm a Duncan.

I'm the product.

Of the sweaty oaf and the crazy clown.

Oh Teddy, I'm sorry.
We didn't know.

Oh, no no, it's okay.
Yesterday I was embarrassed by them too.

And I even told them that.
And then I came over here,

so I could pretend
that I was one of you.

But I'm not.
I'm one of them.

I sweat, I fart and I burp.

You're not gonna do
that again, are you?

No.

In fact, I should probably
get back to my family.

In this, their darkest hour.

Paul!
Oh, I'm sorry, dear.

I just wanted to see
how the other half lives.

Oh.

Oh, man.

Hey, Charlie, so everyone except
for me was on the news tonight,

And now they're all watching
it on the Internet.

That's right...
the Duncans have gone viral.

Oh my gosh I look like a clown.

Well, at least you talked.

And talked and talked...

Hey.

I look cool.

See, that's the great thing
about this family...

we can laugh at ourselves.

And hopefully you feel the same way.

When you're older and realize

"Everyone in the world
has seen me pass gas."

I'll get it.

Hi.
Hey.

I just wanted to make
sure you were okay.

Yeah, I'm fine.

I'm so sorry about my parents.

Wow, it is really nice.

To hear that coming out of
somebody else's mouth.

I was thinking maybe tomorrow
we could study here.

It's a lot more fun than my house.

Really? Or are you just
saying that to be nice?

No, I mean it.
It's always so quiet at my house.

Over here it's loud and fun.

And full of different smells.

Okay, my house it is.

Any chance of a sloppy joe night?

Oh, it'll be a sloppy something night.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Oh hey, hold on a sec.

Hey, Charlie, this is
my boyfriend Spencer.

Hi, Charlie.

Isn't he cute?

I hope someday you find
somebody as great as him, but,

it might be tough,
so good luck, Charlie.

Uh, nuh-uh.

Oh, Father, that was lovely.

Your finger-picking
is so delicate.

Almost as delicate
as that pomegranate

that you're painting, dear.

Dinner in 15 minutes.

Tonight we're having Coq Au
Vin and white asparagus.

Oh my, I still have on
my afternoon pearls.

Mother, the table is set.

How else may I help you?

Father, the horses
have been groomed and fed.

It would seem our
child is full of beans.

Father, how you make us titter.