Original subtitles

Oh! I'll give you that one.

Oh, that's bighearted of you. I gave you the last one.

I don't remember that. - Ha-ha

Robbie, I asked you twice already.

You don't horse around on the golf course. Is that clear?

Oh. What did I do on the last one?

I lost count, sweetheart. You Lost count

Now, how's this? You're looking good.

You're looking good. Yeah? What do you mean by that?

Agh. I don't believe that.

I'm on the wrong fairway.

I'll meet you up ahead. Don't get lost.

I won't.

I told you, didn't I?

What's got into you lately, acting this way?

This continuous horsing around.

What is wrong with you? why don't you listen?

Don't turn away when I speak. why won't you pay attention to me?

Shooting! Let's get outta here!

Frank, did you hear what sounded like a shot? It was a backfire or something.

Daddy! Not now, huh?

Hey! Hold it right there!

Yeah. Bronxwood Golf Club? What side?

Jerome Avenue. Got it.

Someone tried to make a hit at the Bronxwood Golf Club.

Wounded a security guard, skipped in a car.

Zerosa!

Come with us.

We've got the licence on the vehicle. It's on the air now. Let's go.

Looks Like he's headed toward Manhattan.

OK. We'll do our best.

Hey, Lieutenant. That was the 53rd Precinct in The Bronx.

They just lost a vehicle they were chasing, probably headed for Manhattan.

It was a rented brown Nova. Here's the licence number.

So? The suspect's one Paul Markham.

About 50. We'll have his pictures in a few minutes.

According to the records, Markham frequents.

The better hotels and the better restaurants.

Who called this in, and why?

It came down from Lieutenant O'Mara at the 53rd Precinct.

This guy's a sniper, took a shot at somebody at the Bronxwood Golf Course.

About 45 minutes ago.

They ID'd him from the rifle he left behind. A modified 30-06 Breakaway.

Abandons it after each hit. Did I say the magic words?

Oh, yes. Paul Markham. Better known as The Major.

Better known as the hit man's hitman.

Likes Korean food, male prostitutes and Russian movies.

Get me as many stakeouts as you can. But you're not gonna catch him.

He'll be 1,000 miles away in three hours.

So why waste time on stakeouts? Because he's killed over 100 men.

One being a Brazilian I was assigned to protect some eight years ago.

He's like a machine, Crocker. He never makes mistakes.

Now, who did he kill? He didn't. He missed.

He missed?!

Come on. Come on, Robbie. Let's go.

OK, go change your clothes, huh? Be a good boy.

Would someone Like to explain what all the tension is about?

What tension? What are you talking about? Oh, come on, Frank.

Something has happened between you and Robbie. I hit him. I'm sorry.

But he pays no attention to anything I say.

There's more than that. Why did you shut him up when I mentioned hearing the shot?

And why did we have to leave in such a hurry?

Are you in some kind of trouble? Who isn't these days, huh?

Something dangerous? Oh, Irene.

Irene, don't be silly, huh?

Frank! I have a right to know.

Look, look. I have to talk to someone right now.

Maybe after that I can say more, huh?

I hope so.

Irene...don't worry.

I tell you, it's gonna be alright.

Apparently, he also had a small calibre handgun.

The guard said he didn't even hear it fire.

It could've been silenced.

Go to the hospital, talk to the guard. And take an artist with you.

Get the best possible ID on this character.

And get that rifle to the lab now.

Tell 'em we want a preliminary report as soon as possible. Fingerprints, the works.

Where's uh...where's the manager from the golf course?

He's on his way, Lieut.

O'Mara. Kojak.

What are you doing out here in the sticks?

I got my men in Manhattan looking for your sniper.

And I figured I haven't been here since the play—offs.

Something like that. I'm here. That where he fired from?

As best we can reconstruct it.

Tell me this. Did you find a...

a bag down there, kind of like a sandbag?

Yeah. We found something Like that down there. Didn't know what it was.

OK, what's going on? Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you knew.

Your sniper's not some two-bit potsy.

We're talking about The Major himself.

I've got rapists and freaks who kill old Ladies.

And pushers and kids who burn down houses out here.

I got no celebrities. Now, who the hell is The Major?

Well...the FBI, Military Intelligence,

five other federal agencies

have been trying to nail this guy for 20 years.

They think his name is Markham, a Korean vet.

He gets $20,000 a killing.

And at that rate... Lets' see. He's made himself close to $2 million. Tax free, darling

And you got some sort of special thing for him, right? Right.

You see this sandbag? It's what he uses to cradle the rifle.

Like in the army. It makes for a better shot.

And that weapon. That's a trademark too.

Now, who was the target?

That's what we're trying to find out. And when we do,

if there's any way I think you can help,

I'll be glad to let you know.

George. I mean, don't brush me. OK?

There was eight or ten playing out there at the time the shot was fired.

And nobody came forward to say they were shot at?

No, sir. Jektor. You stay with me.

Sorry, Lieutenant. Now, there was one group had about uh...

Had a couple of bodyguards with 'em.

One of them is a wise guy, Vacelli.

Gene Vacelli? He was playing this morning? Yes, sir.

Find out where I can talk to him. I wanna know who he's feuding with.

What about this Major character the Lieutenant mentioned?

Look out there, Jektor.

There wasn't one target more than 100 yards from here.

What's that to the world's greatest hitman? Nothing.

You're off on this, Theo. Way off.

This is just some punk we're gonna find in the gutter with his head busted open

for missing a shot even I could make. OK, OK.

But uh...let's talk about it. Let's compare notes.

We got something we can't handle, sure.

But uh...we like to do it our way up here.

No glamour. Just steady digging.

Thanks anyway, Theo. Sure.

O'Mara's a good enough lieutenant, but he don't listen to me.

The Manhattan copper, the Bronx copper, that inter-borough rivalry.

O'Mara and I worked together in Queens for a couple of years after the academy.

Right? Theo...you two are dead opposites.

Dead opposites.

And he's sensitive.

It takes him days of hard to work to come up with the same inspiration

you get in the middle of a cup of coffee.

But he gets the job done and his men Like him.

Hey. You're in upper management, Frank. Gimme the inspiration.

How can I get him to pay attention to my leads, go over my files?

A possible sniping incident, the wounding of a security guard.

It's not quite the only problems he's got in his precinct.

He's got the gangs, he's got 50 bar fights on a Saturday night.

Frank, I don't want his job. But I do want The Major.

And this is the best chance we've ever had.

If The Major missed out there on that golf course,

he's not gonna hang around like some kid waiting to take a girl out on a second date.

He'll do the smart thing and spend the night in Paris, Indonesia,

Duluth, Minnesota.

Anywhere except New York, where he knows he's being scanned.

Well...

I'm sorry, Frank.

I can't go along with it. Agh.

Suddenly, I feel like O'Mara.

What did I say that's wrong? Frank.

Here's a list of players in range from the garage. OK?

Vacelli and his friends and bodyguards over here.

In back of them, Mr and Mrs DeMarco and their kid.

Over here, this girl and her boyfriend.

And then this foursome. Professors from Manhattanville College.

None of them likely targets, except Vacelli.

But none of them, Frank, over 100 yards away

or any excuse for The Major to have missed so easily.

Then it wasn't The Major, It was somebody copying his technique.

But if it was The Major...

and he missed...

there's something wrong.

Either he's getting old

or something's bothering him.

There's gotta be a weak link. So what I'm saying is this.

He's here and looking to get the job done as soon as possible.

Theo, if you hired The Major to kill Vacelli,

would you leave the hit on, knowing he's expecting it?

Frank, he don't give a damn whether the hit's on or off.

He missed. For the first time and at close range.

Come on. I know this guy. This is a challenge to him now.

Like the guy falling off a horse, get back on. You know that story.

And the gun that's a trademark. He's got a reputation to protect.

And O'Mara. What's he saying? Oh, he isn't saying.

So, what do I do?

You don't do anything.

Who are you calling? Chief of Detectives.

If he wants The Major that bad, he'll make sure O'Mara works with you.

How come? They'll send me a temporary replacement,

assign you to O'Mara's precinct on this one case, whether he likes it or not.

Frank! Or whether you like it or not.

Sorry.

"Mr Low." There's no need to call.

There's been a complication.

We should meet at the usual place.

“An hour from now?" Is the job done or not?

Mr DeMarco is a dad man. I promise you that.

What are you so afraid of? It's my nine iron. I'm lousy with it.

It's embarrassing.

And this bang. Well, it blew my concentration.

So, why keep on playing, huh?

Come on, Vacelli.

What are those bodyguards, huh? who's after you?

I wanna know.

Hey! Two lieutenants in one day

I'm honoured. Hey, Gene. How are you doing, 0'Mara?

Kojak. How are you doing, Gene?

Good weather, nice festival. Brings people together.

And we made over 30,000 for the church in the lottery.

You got tickets? They draw 'em tomorrow.

I bought a couple. Do you mind? No, help yourself.

Hey, look. You need some protection, Gene. Just a couple of days. Nothing obvious. OK?

Oh, OK, Theo. Thanks.

If anybody takes a shot at Harry Freed,

I'm gonna drag in your whole goon squad, Gene.

Harry Freed?

Are you serious? Theo, ease up, will you?

Freed and me got peace. No way I'm responsible

for anything happening to him. I hear different.

But if anything does happen to him, I'm holding you responsible.

So, you send out your goon squad, and any information you pick up,

you lead it directly to me, before you do anything about it. Understand? Directly to me.

Bon appetit, Geney-weney.

That Greek. Who the hell does he think he is?

What kind of a stunt is that, busting in on my interrogation?

And what kind of interrogation was that? I grew up with Vacelli.

I know all about him. why didn't you come to me?

Because you don't know one damn thing more than me!

You got your ego on the line because you couldn't protect some diplomat from The Major.

Besides, I hear Freed's got no beef with Vacelli any more.

I hear the same, But I'm not gonna Let Vacelli know that.

I want him to run scared. You don't make sense.

George. He's got a Lot more foot soldiers than us.

Kojak, this is my investigation. Now, stay outta my way!

Hey, George.

Chief of Detectives.

And I didn't want any part of it.

'Effective immediately, due to his expertise on an assassin known as The Major, Lt Kojak

is to be assigned to the 53rd Precinct, The Bronx,

to assist in the investigation of the Bronxwood Golf Club shooting.'

I spent years trying to get inside this Major. I know a lot about him.

Hey, Look. If he missed an easy shot...I wanna find out why.

Maybe he was paid to miss. A warning, not a kill.

You don't have all the answers. Cut it out.

I'm gonna need two desks.

And tell your men this isn't a competition.

Oh, that's just what it is.

Don't kid me.

Just a moment.

who's there? Frank DeMarco.

Look, I...I need to set things straight with you.

I thought you'd made your position quite clear.

I made a terrible mistake.

That shot on the golf course was a warning.

I wanna thank you for giving me a second chance.

A second chance?

What happened? Exactly. A shot,

It missed me by a foot. Almost hit my son. And that's the worst part of it.

Here. 5,000.

I'll give you the other five in 30 days. I swear.

The 10,000 I paid you, Mr DeMarco...

It was an agreement. No. It was blackmail.

And it was stupid of me.

Here. This is the recording I made of our phone call.

Go on. Play it. Be sure.

“You know, Mr DeMarco, your shipping company

could do a Lot of business with my Korean clients.”

"I could use that business a lot, Mr Low.”

"There'll be a slight fee."

"Say...$20,000 a year."

To me personally.

You could have a copy of that. On my life. No copies.

And if anybody ever tries to take your licence away,

or get you deported, Mr Low,

I swear to God, I'll tell Immigration you're a saint.

Any threats I ever made were really stupid.

I know that now.

The other 5,000. In 30 days.

Sooner, if I can get it.

Please. Goodbye, Mr DeMarco.

Lieutenant, Lieutenant. It goes like this.

You know, you'd think they worked for Internal Affairs.

Well...it didn't take long.

Gentlemen? This is Lieutenant Kojak, Detective Crocker from Manhattan South.

They're taking the Bronxwood shooting off our backs.

Give us some breathing room for the rest of our workload

Jektor, Zarosa, you'll stay on the case.

George. I didn't mean for you to take yourself off the case. Look.

It's up to me to decide where I need the help.

I've got a lot of things to handle. This is all yours.

That way, we got no competition, no bad feelings.

You can't say I did wrong, I can't say you did wrong. O'Mara.

I need your help. Tell me one thing you think I've done right on this case so far.

Well, didn't you put out a description of the man to all the stores selling rifles?

Just in case he wants to buy a rifle to finish the job?

why? If the guy's a pro, he's long gone,

If he's an amateur, he's hiding.

He's not gonna stick his neck out again Like some turtle with no brains.

No. I didn't put out a description for all stores selling rifles.

Crocker? Put out a description -

To all the stores selling rifles. Yes, sir.

Kojak? You got a way of coming on to people makes everybody else Look bad.

I'm not gonna get sucked in. Sorry.

I'll call Stavros to get on it right away. As soon as they get me a phone.

Oh, what did I miss?

Hey, that's a good cop. You know?

I hear he gets more out of his men than any lieutenant around.

And he's all spooked about this case.

He thinks I was put on it in order to make him look bad. What do I do?

Well, you have a choice, Lieutenant.

Sorry, but you show him up.

Yeah, sure.

Gimme a list of the people on the golf course.

Cos maybe we're wrong about Vacelli.

Maybe the target was that model from Playgirl. She's really a CIA agent.

Or maybe the professors from Manhattanville.

They stole a patent from the United States government.

Move. Move where?

We start with Mr and Mrs Frank DeMarco and their seven-year-old son.

Yellow sheet? I doubt it, but we'll Look.

Hey, Jektor. Will you gimme a hand with this?

Agh!

Guess who I just talked to?

A dead man

DeMarco.

You missed? I can't believe that.

Neither can I.

But he's as good as dead.

Now Listen.

I picked two possible Locations for his termination.

The golf course or the festival tomorrow night.

And the second one will do just fine.

I'm not so sure about this any more.

The element of surprise is gone.

And DeMarco suspects that I'm involved.

The police may even have him under surveillance.

It's not smart.

And you know that. Now, look.

When someone comes to me with an assignment...

.the target doesn't die when I pull the trigger.

The target dies when I take the job. It's my decision that kills them.

DeMarco was dead already.

Up here.

Now, to bring him back, especially him...

...it would throw everything off.

Especially DeMarco? Why?

He did something.

It reminded me of someone...

I eliminated a long time ago.

Uh, this may be personal to you,

but it's business to me.

Now, I've settled with DeMarco.

He's stopped blackmailing me.

He lives. No.

I give the orders.

Now, if you go against my instructions, Major,

that's gonna destroy your reputation a lot worse than any missed shot.

DeMarco Lives.

or else.

Now get outta here.

I'm gonna check across the street and Look for witnesses.

Alright. I'll check over here.

He's Korean, Lieutenant. Shot right in the heart, sitting in his car.

Why don't you give it to Lt Farber. I mean, he's doing my job pretty well.

"Forensics recovered a slug from the dashboard. It's got no rifling”

And it's the same calibre as the one that hit that guard up in The Bronx.

Was that silenced too? It could be. Nobody heard nothing.

What's the target's name, Stavros?

His name is uh...Chok Low.

The car he's driving is leased by the Kim Chee Importing Company.

I guess that's a Korean outfit. Any address?

It's 900 West 161st Street.

Stavros. Good work.

What's that? What's up? well...

Either The Major killed another target

or he put somebody away for personal reasons.

Either way, get in touch with Stavros.

Pick up everything you can on a victim by the name of Chok Low.

Personnel, this is Lieutenant Kojak.

I need an officer with special qualifications to help in an interrogation.

Tomorrow morning, as soon as you can.

Lieutenant Kojak? I'm Gardner.

Sorry they couldn't get me here before noon.

I'm a little rusty, sir. I hope I don't disappoint you.

Well, that makes two of us, Gardner.

Come on.

Hello. I'm Lieutenant Kojak.

This is Officer Gardner. Police Department. Are you in charge?

Yes. I'm the owner. Jimmy Lee. What can I do for you?

The name Chok Low. Does that mean anything to you?

I had to take the pastrami on rye. They were all out of onion rolls. What's up?

This is Lieutenant Kojak.

My brother Ben. He wants to know about Chok Low.

Yeah, he works for us. well, he was shot to death in his car.

Yesterday. Murdered, on East 20th Street. You know anything about it?

Have you any idea what he was doing there? Or why anybody'd wanna kill him?

My Low was erm...

an independent consultant.

Work on commission, give advice.

Which American companies we should work with.

Erm...like for shipping from Korea. Import, export.

He had good business. Why enemies? Yes.

What kind of business could he throw to a shipping company?

Oh. Maybe as high as one million, two million a year.

Maybe he was peddling influence.

I don't understand.

Well, uh...bribery, pay-offs.

A Lot of people would pay an awful Lot of money for a $2 million contract.

Chok Low? No.

My government, your government, very sensitive this pay—off business.

Very bad scandal. He takes bribes, he gets thrown out of country.

He too smart. I don't like calling dead man crooked.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to insult him.

I'd like a list of firms he might've recommended.

Sure.

Is that it? One more.

Thanks.

Please? Where's his body? He's got no family. We'll take care for him.

The morgue downtown. And I'm sorry.

Frank DeMarco, Trans—American Shipping Company.

And on the golf course yesterday morning, Frank DeMarco.

Something interesting, Lieutenant? Yeah,

I mean, The Major, he...trained in Korea.

Chok Low was Korean. Must've made contact over there.

Anyway, what did they say, Gardner?

They lied through their teeth to you, Lieutenant.

What they said means... Let me put it this way.

He's as crooked as the Yalu River.

Chok Low, he had his hand out for bribes all the time.

One more report to Immigration, they were ready to ship him back to the 48th Parallel.

Well, maybe DeMarco wouldn't pay his bribes on time.

Or threatened to blow the whistle on Chok Low.

If DeMarco was putting the squeeze on Chok Low,

that's like a worm uh... trying to choke a python.

Alright. Thanks, Gardner.

Hey, Gardner? Yes, sir?

Where did you learn all that stuff? When the Korean War was on,

you weren't even born. I was born exactly then.

My mother's Korean, my father was the biggest hell-raiser in The Marines.

Oh. Your mother still in Korea?

No, she's here. Still married, still happy.

Oh. Well, that figures.

Manhattan South called, Lieutenant.

A man fitting The Major's description bought a 30-06 rifle yesterday morning.

On 38th Street, off Lexington. About two hours after the shooting.

He's hanging around, still cooking up something, just like Kojak said.

Hey, Lieutenant.

We would've come up with our own leads our own way. We always have.

Where is he today?

He put in a call to personnel yesterday.

Requested an officer who spoke Korean.

Korean, huh? Yeah. Come in my office. Close the door.

Got a list of clippings here dating back to 1956.

'Military Intelligence today identified the hitman

alleged to have killed union boss Leonard Cox

as Korean veteran Paul Markham.'

'Markham, reputedly known as The Major...!

And here's his military record.

Family history from the FBI.

List of killings attributed to him.

102! Yeah. New York, Philadelphia,

Boston, Panama City, Liverpool, Haiti, Vietnam.

A licence to kill.

Where the hell does he think that comes from?

You know, 23 years on the force, Jektor.

I've never had to kill a man yet.

Thank God. But him?

Put 20 grand in a slot, the weasel goes pop,

there's another pool of blood instead of a person.

What's life to him? A shooting gallery, that's all.

Who was it this time, if not Vacelli?

And why not come out in the open, huh?

At least...at least ask for protection.

Hm. Somebody shoots at me...

I wouldn't want my mother to know. She worries enough as it is.

What about your son? who's got a son?

This guy does.

Mr and Mrs Frank DeMarco.

They had a seven-year-old kid with them on that golf course.

Maybe they're in trouble, afraid he'll find out.

Afraid we'll wanna talk to the kid. You know uh...

He could've seen something that we'd like to know.

Did Kojak talk to DeMarco or his wife?

No. I don't think he's had the time.

OK. That's the village. Downtown.

I'll call you... if I can't make it back by six.

O'Mara.

Two great minds with one thought, right? Frank DeMarco?

Thought I was gonna have him all to myself.

What have you got? What have YOU got? Oh.

Let's take 10 minutes for a cup of coffee.

we'll compare notes.

You tell me your dream, I'll tell you mine,

we'll razzle-dazzle and double team the heck out of 'em.

Gentlemen, if we had any information that might have helped you...

...we would've come forward at the golf course.

But you were on the tee of the 3rd hole when the shot was fired.

I don't think I even heard the shot. I was concentrating.

Trying to get off a decent drive.

I got disgusted, I blew it.

I decided my wife deserved a nice, big breakfast,

instead of being stuck with a lousy golfer in a crabby mood.

But we certainly didn't leave because we thought we were in any danger.

And you didn't hear the shot either, Mrs DeMarco?

No, I don't think so. I was pretty much concentrating on my own game too.

I don't suppose your son's a golfer too, is he, at seven?

Robbie? No. He was just uh... horsing around, tagging after me.

Well, since he wasn't concentrating on his golf game,

maybe he heard something.

Could I uh...ask him a few questions?

I got a grandson about seven myself.

I promise not to make it uncomfortable for him.

Actually, he's napping right now.

We're taking him to the festival later, keeping him up pretty late.

I have to draw the lottery tickets.

Probably won't get finished until after ten.

If it's really important,

I could ask him any questions for you tomorrow, give you a call.

Oh, Mr DeMarco.

We're trying to make sure there is a tomorrow for you.

Lieutenant, I do not appreciate you frightening my wife Like this.

Oh, I'm sorry. Look, Mrs DeMarco.

Your husband was dealing with a Korean businessman

who is known to have hired this assassin before.

Now, I don't know what your husband did to offend him so badly

that he'd wanna kill him, but it's... Lieutenant!

I have an excellent reputation in this community.

My business and my life are in absolutely no danger of anything.

Except your insinuations.

I would appreciate it if you would both leave.

Mommy? Robbie.

Robbie, get back in your room. I finished my homework, Daddy.

You're supposed to be taking a nap. Uh-uh, That was after lunch.

Robbie, I - Frank!

Excuse us. I'm sorry.

When I talk to you, you listen. Do you understand?

Home, sweet home Be it ever so humble.

Daddy was about to hit that kid.

It wasn't the first time, either.

Please leave us alone, will you?

Mrs DeMarco, we're talking about your husband's life.

Yes, but what you are saying makes no sense.

The man you insinuate wants him killed is dead himself.

And now you're saying somebody else is after him.

And for what conceivable reason?

Mrs DeMarco, I don't know the answers.

Then you're really just alarming us.

Suppose we just put some police surveillance on you, Mr DeMarco?

Tonight? In that crowd at the festival?

Are you serious?

How do I explain that? That I'm being pursued by gangsters?

What kind of person does that make me out to be?

No. I'm sorry you can't catch your gunman.

But I want no more interference with my Life.

Good day, gentlemen.

Frank. Are you sure you're safe?

I was a fool. I admit that.

But I squared things with Chok Low. And besides, he's dead.

There's no reason for anyone to be after me.

No reason at all.

I'll make it up to Robbie tonight.

I'm glad you're out, Rocco.

Theo, let's face it. They're Lying.

Chok Low put out a hit on him. We don't know why.

DeMarco's right. Without one good reason why The Major's still after him,

I don't know how to justify surveillance. Alright.

You give me one good reason that makes sense to me... Two bags.

Thank you. ..and uh...I'll get the authorisation from my precinct.

I'll let the Chief of Detectives come down on MY head.

Did you read the family history on The Major?

I mean, the FBI report in my file? I skimmed it. Why?

You know, when he was a kid, his old man was an alcoholic.

Used to hit him all the time - and bad.

The kid didn't talk for years.

Wound up in a foster home.

And he didn't just flinch when the old man was gonna hit him, he ran away.

He'd be gone three days at a time before they'd find him.

Let's suppose, George, that this...

Ronnie...he's goofing off on the golf course.

And DeMarco hit him, like he almost did upstairs.

Suppose The Major saw that. Could've flinched.

Maybe jerked the trigger a second too late?

It's not a bad theory, is it? It explains why he's still after DeMarco.

Revenge.

Against the father. Probably doesn't even know it's inside him.

Right.

How are you? There you go.

One, two three, Robbie. Whoops!

OK, Look. You call Manhattan South, get a couple of men over here.

And stay on top of DeMarco until they get here.

Well, where are you going? I'm going up on the rooftop and scan it.

Theo. Be careful, huh?

Yeah. You too, pal.

Oh! Hat

There we go. There we go.

Oh. I'd better get the drawings over with.

You can get yourself a Lot of trouble sneaking up on somebody like that.

O'Mara sent us. What's up? Any minute now, DeMarco's gonna get up on that platform.

And he's gonna pick the number for the church lottery.

Perfect target for a rifle up here.

I don't Like it. You, Stavros, you stay up here.

And keep your eyes open. Crocker?

You go across the street and get on the roof over there.

Ladies and gentlemen, and children.

On behalf of the parish of St Joseph...

...and in honour of the festival of San Gennaro,

and in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit...

...welcome to this ceremony.

And thank you for your kind attendance.

And your generous patronage.

And now...

to draw for the lucky winners of our raffle,

the president of the South Village Businessmen': Association.

Mr Frank DeMarco.

Thank you. Thank you all.

And now, without further delay,

the first winning number, for third prize,

a 17 inch colour television set,

is...

Theo. Did you ever see a priest who didn't know when to bless himself?

That one over there. Second one from the Left.

And the winning number is...

Does anybody got

Hold it!

There she is. Come up here, please.

And now for the second prize, a two week vacation.

And the winner is ticket holder..

Theo!

Agh! O'Mara!

I saw him come down here. I tried to shout. You damn fool!

Anything bigger than a 25 calibre, he would've

punched holes through you and your lousy garbage can!

You see? I can't do anything right.

Uh, Lieutenant?

He shot himself.

'I guess I never did anything right.'