Original subtitles

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

You sure about the address mister yes

this is the place you'll be sure to wait

for me now won't you sure

come on

it's funny

number please

or I'm the 122 Old Mill Road the tower

has been occupied for 13 years and yet

there's a telephone in it can you tell

me who had it installed I wouldn't have

that information madam I could connect

you with an ID supervisor but you'd have

to wait until the business office opens

in the morning I'm sorry

all the modern improvements

I'm gonna clean the place up a bit

oh yes of course

dad's up there.

I sat next to him

mr. Barksdale sat next to me aunt

Lucille Uncle John

Harold

mother

for.

Marjorie

uncle dick and Joan

uncle Wayne

mr. Barksdale

mr. Bartel is that you

mr. Barksdale mr. Barksdale

[Music]

Police station captain Ryan speaking

yeah the old Morgan place he says he

drove a youngster out there about 30

minutes ago

hold the driver I'll be right over okay

wake up your dumb ass and let home get

going before we go hold up get on a

macro alright

and they divert some nine 600 you can go

leave your address but wants you later

yes

what well keep ringing them hello hello.

Phil this is Ryan listen we've got a

swell case down here I'm not interested

give me Stuyvesant 9600 when you hear

the tone of the gong it will be exactly

12 o'clock and 63 seconds ring that

number again hello hello you say what's

the idea putting that Dame on the phone

I know what time it is what time is it

shut up no no no I I don't mean you

don't hang up

I want you get over here right away

there's been a murder I know but this is

a good murder

listen 13 years ago a guy invited all

his relatives to dinner the SAP deserved

to die

well arrest the mother-in-law and don't

bother me anymore oh all right but make

it snappy

all right there was 12 people there the

table was set for 13 the 13th guests

never got there that was 13 years ago

and now tonight we find a dame murdered

and she's sitting at the table in the

13th chair huh I counted them she was

sitting in the thirteenth chair you dumb

flatfoot who told you where to start

counting well go back and count the

girl's chair first and let me know how

you come out and give my love to Aunt

Sarah

bring that number again and keep ringing

it and then tell the night supervisor I

want to know had a couple of phones

installed at 1:22 Old Mill Road if you

happen to get the whole Bell family out

of bed.

I am a Winston the private investigator

captain Ryan sent for me yes sir go

right in and have fun huh call up

headquarters and tell Clarence I'm

sending those prints yes Oh what's a

number central fuck you dumb idiot don't

even know that get out and look it up so

just let me know you're good yes we got

a 12 murder here good and the number you

want is central firepower well you

certainly took your time

I was busy yeah sure when you hear the

gong the time will be twelve o'clock and

six split seconds yeah have a look at

this and then I've introduced you to the

lady this house has been unoccupied for

thirteen years yet the phone's installed

and the electricity turned on I'm

tracing that those books are on the

floor

that's all in here now come on and have

a look at the banquet

the kids you're home still a little like

same old joke the habit day off I think

up a new one you can have her now God

just a minute I want Winston to have a

look.

Oh would you take care of that Jerri

please okay so bad pretty girl you

wouldn't notice that sitting up yeah

okay dot

say how did you know about that dinner

party 13 years ago Oh every man the dog

knows that story around here.

Morgan's senior drop dead just Apple

they all sat down to the table the old

lady she was young man must have been a

little bit cracked herself she wouldn't

allow a thing to be touched just closed

up the house and moved up and that step

and all these guys have been waiting for

the dinner ever since mom give me the

willies every time I think of it well

don't think then you know who the girl

is.

Sure daughter Marie Morgan had her whole

life's history in her handbag but no

address the driver that brought her out

here said he picked her up on the corner

of 59th and Park Department house no on

the corner we've been checking up on the

apartment I was around there now how was

she killed

hang widely here the doc hasn't said for

sure yet but it looks like she was

electrocuted electrocuted

now I thought of that too not a wire on

it that was it electricity enough to

kill her but not to burn the body I

wonder where she got it

hey that lect in the living room I'll

get it well what about that light in the

living room hey Don I tried to open

every socket in the room that don't work

oh maybe the Globes burned out never

charged with that okay anyway I don't

think I'd go around trying light sockets

if I were you

why didn't it occur to you that a young

lady was electrocuted here tonight and

that she might have been trying light

sockets

hello operator see if it and trace that

call and ring me back make it snappy yes

darling there's been a murder you've

read all about it from the morning

papers she listened in on all the other

calls why the devil didn't she listening

on that one what was it I don't know I

just heard the receiver going up after I

answered hello

captain Ryan speaking sound Hotel thank

you sister.

Oh beat it over the sound hotel and see

if we can trace that call get a list of

all the guests and all the telephone

calls after midnight and don't Muppet

and don't go to sleep oh well how am I

going to get there you can drive a car

can't you sweetheart take mine and feed

it yes oh that guy's uncle don't die

soon I'll be a nervous wreck who's the

uncle just a big boss in the city that's

all

oh-ho so that's why he's on the force

you don't suppose because you got any

brains what's the matter now well

obvious what are you laughing at nothing

I just think it's funny

I'm glad you invited me down.

I'm invited

yeah okay sit down I'll see you in a few

minutes

do they identify the body yes sir

there's one of you as the brother I am

friend of yours yes and of my sister

all right boys I won't keep you long

either of you know a man named Barksdale

yes

we both do he was my father's lawyer is

he still handling the estate yes why

we'll ask the questions if you don't

mind son wasn't your father's well a

little unusual it was quite unusual he

provided for my mother for Marie and me

left the bulk of the estate to the 13th

guest who was that we don't know the

13th guests never arrived

screwie anything else about this guest

no accepted we always supposed that he'd

come forward and be named when we became

of age or what'll that be well why do

you suppose that might have had

something to do with it.

Marie was 21 yesterday what yes Boxtel

call it the other day and told you I'm

not interested in that

well I am all right be interested wait a

minute where you going out I'll see you

later hey but

I suppose you were at that dinner part

of your poly game yeah how'd your

sisters hit that night right beside my

father she always had that which side

one is right

will you draw me a diagram with that

table name the people in the seating

arrangement and if any of them have died

since make a note of it have you kept in

touch with the family when we couldn't

avoid it well put down their addresses

and leave it with a captain here Thanks

do you remember how we set that night

yes I think so

were you there well I was visiting there

we were just kids then but it isn't easy

to forget a thing like that dinner party

I suppose not

I've got a hunch I'll be thinking about

it for some time myself well let's hear

about that phone call from Barksdale and

I'll let you go well there there isn't

much to it except that Barksdale called

her a few days ago and gave us an

instructions something she was supposed

to do on a 21st birthday and you don't

remember what they were I know she

wouldn't tell me and we're supposed to

find the answer does anybody know

anything what's the matter with the old

man besides being nuts are you sure this

dinner wasn't held in an insane asylum

what try and calm down take these voices

of the next office and give him some

paper and pencils and send Carter a yes

you boys better stick around we might

want you

that's too bad son take care of yourself

what do you mean nothing much you mean

they might go after me

all right no I don't think I'd care if

they did well we would the cost the

department a lot of dough to investigate

a murder well in that case I'll be

careful.

Thanks

you've been very considerate today

that's all right son

well what do you think I can't think I'm

numb why the devil does a man have to go

through all that hocus-pocus just to

leave a will it burns me up well stop

burning Carl may happy yeah hey cutter

let's see what you got

yes sir here the deposit slips in the

telephones lights parted but ones on.

Barksdale Barksdale so that's where

you've got of that yeah feel better now

I'm safe

wait'll I lay my hands on this guy also

a man answering to Barksdale description

registered at the sound hotel last night

about 9:30 under the name of Perry and

at 122 put in a call to Douglas and nine

six eight then checked out of his hotel

immediately after he hasn't been home

since sandy has been shown up these are

bitchin and these folks were getting to

worry now isn't that killed bad

tell them they can see him on visitors

day let's go the pod research I managed

to dig this up out of them The Daily.

Herald files

what's Butterfield 12

let's send it out at once okay put a

couple of the boys on those two kids in

there they may be alright and again they

may not yes sir anything else releasing

no but stick around

calling all cars calling all cars

stand by for description of one John.

Barksdale wanted for questioning on the.

Morgan murder case last seen on Long.

Island driving a Packard touring license

unknown description fifty years six feet

grey hair eyes brown that is all

[Applause]

[Music]

Hello

hello

ah.

I don't care you call me all the name

here warden I brought out on names to

call you

I don't care mr. Whitson if you to hurt

it good what does it sound like room

like harsh fire and the devil and a

couple of a nice throat in that could

you give me an idea of what it sounded

like kinda retarded kind of up like it's

kind of like it perhaps if you tried it

again bro yeah well don't you know

they're being rugby shut up

I was only trying shot up get out

that

so who put all them books there so what

I did you go to sleep today I don't

think so

you don't think so get out of my sight

before I kill you yeah

hey so Clint

you come here where are you

is he dead

it's Barksdale can you beat that certain

house upstairs and down yes sir nothing

that'll do much good well what's the

answer it's got me worried plenty me too

but I'm beginning to be glad that I

wasn't invited to that dinner party

years ago yeah here's the diagram young

Morgan true today take a look at the

seating arrangement first we find the

girl's body in the chair that she sat in

that night and now this are you

beginning to get the idea

gee yes ye gods Phil are they gonna

blind this table with stiffs that's the

way it looks

unless we do something but but that's

crazy it very nearly confirms one thing

though the person doing it was at the

table that night

I've gotta talk

[Applause]

No

how'd you get out of the market I

haven't been in any more

take your hands off me be nice I won't

let me alone

do you want me to spank you hold still

that's a good little girl what's your

name Marie Morgan yes what did you say I

asked this child here if she would Marie

Morgan I know child will you shut up and

she said yes and she said yes I don't

know maybe it's something I hate this is

the nightmare where did you pick her up

riding around in your car in market I

was on my way to the police station yes

and baby you're still on your way to the

police station take it out and lock her

up I've got some things I want to ask

her about you can't arrest me Oh can't I

that's what they all say

maybe it's all a mistake and maybe you

can explain everything out but you won't

say a word until you see your lawyer

well I won't all right baby come and see

your lawyer talk to a good look

marjory that's right you know anything

about it no what can this mean that's

what we're gonna find out take our luck

in the library did we get through here

what she headed for police station she

was going in that direction

call up city headquarters and report

this call a coroner and stick around

outside yes sir no why did you ask that

girl if she was Marie Morgan I think she

is what about the other Dame there are

no twins no but the other girl had

several small scars around her face

didn't you notice them yes but I didn't

think anything about it well I did

I thought she'd had her face lifted well

what a blasted idiot I have been that's

why you were so surprised when her

brother told you she was 21

certainly no kid that age is going to

have her face lifted and you beat it

back to the morgue to have another look

right and took a good plastic surgeon

with me she hadn't had her face lifted

she'd had it completely made over well

I'll be now that commenced to make sense.

Barksdale made an appointment with the

real Marie Morgan to meet him here they

planned to kill her and stuff she took

the other girl who planned to kill her

huh Barksdale made the appointment yes

but if Barksdale was in on it but she

may have been who killed the gentlemen

on your right

little bo-peep

operating

I wouldn't do that if I were you

police might not like it I was only

trying to call my brother we'll call him

later you're going to take a ride with

me where to my apartment she'd be safer

in jail don't worry she won't get away I

didn't mean that I said she'd be safer

in jail and humane go to the devil

mr. Adams two bits in why my dear child

why I'm almost afraid to touch you what

is the meaning of all this why I'll have

to send back that cutaway I ordered for

your funeral you wear those to wedding

is not funerals

this is uncle Adams the worst old

reprobate who ever lived my dear you're

covering quite a lot of territory how do

you do mr. Winston I'm delighted how do

you do if you give him a drink guy think

he make you still one of the beat scotch

and Soda Springs and thanks easy on the

soda.

[Applause]

Hey if you want my opinion it's uncle

Adams who's been committing all the

murders all the murders mr. Barksdale

was murdered today in the old house.

Boxster my word whatever you understand

but but murders

what's the meaning of it mr. Winston

you're investigating the case I suppose

unofficially I'm a friend of Captain.

Ryan yes yes of course I've heard of you

well have you any accused don't you

cover many ideas no but he has a laugh

for you really well let's have it

you're next what according to mr.

Winston's theory you're next on the list

unless of course you've been doing the

murders yourself you've always had the

most acute sense of humor must be some

more of the family I'm doing the

resurrection egg and enjoying a fairy if

I know your you certainly startled me

if you explain your reasons well for

heaven's sake I thought you were dead

disappointed well why be a hypocrite you

know I've always hated your module if

you say that word again out it's only

what our laws

is this for private use only I suppose

your Winston at your service

I may take you up on that if this is

another one of your jokes Murray I must

say it's in bad taste

I've been simply frustrated all day I'll

bet you have bridge always tires mother

Marjorie they tried to kill me are you

glad I'm alive am I glad I think you are

but what does it mean since they made us

get down to look at that that other girl

was you did you cry well to tell you the

truth money week we both went home we've

got potted

that's just as good mr. Winston has a

whole family here he says one of them is

the murderer I'm getting odds on uncle.

Adams Adams he's too lazy to commit a

murder

but tell me darling what happened to you

oh well here we are just one big happy

family

oh hello Thor who was that blonde I saw

you with the other night there was no

blonde and you know it dear Marjorie

your soul must look like the inside of a

vinegar bottle hi Jove it's a good idea

I wish I had thought of it yourself

what's that killing off her family it

must be some poor soul that had the

misfortune to dine with us when we were

all together I think you're right

someone who dined with you 13 years ago.

Oh.

You mean the night that John read that

stupid will and then died

well mercy don't over me I didn't kill

him

no one killed him as far as we know does

anyone here know the present whereabouts

of wayne seymour the last time I saw him

I got an impression that he was going to

spend the rest of his days at number 9

Yokohama I see you know your Yokohama

mr. Winston I've traveled a bit with the

exception of Wayne Seymour you people

were the only guests at that dinner who

are still alive

well we're dead from the neck up speak

to yourself John I'll speak if you don't

mind go ahead but a few snappy jokes

injected here and there would make a

world of difference you see we're

accustomed to public speaking I'm afraid

this isn't a joking matter it looks as

if someone is determined to kill every

person who attended that dinner 13 years

ago they've already killed two people

too

yes a girl mistaken for Miss Morgan and

John Barksdale Boxtel murdered

very much so and in both cases the

bodies were found in the chairs occupied

by that person at the dinner and as.

Captain Ryan so elegantly describes it

the murderer intends to line the table

with stiffs

how vulgar well thank goodness I was

under the table most of the time yes

pinching me oh I was a cute youngster

always full of fun

someday I'll look at your baby pictures

but just now we're discussing murder

which automatically makes one think of

the Margaery

speak for yourself John shall we go on

with this or just turn it into a family

reunion well why not have a blind

protest couldn't matter which one you

picked we'd all cut each other's throats

for a dime why a dime

I cut yours for fun

give me police headquarters detective

bureau captain Brown's office well it

isn't every day you get a chance to see

a mastermind at work.

Oh who's this speaking oh well this is.

Winston send the wagon to my apartment

and issue for John Doe and three Jane

Doe warrants material witnesses in the

Morgan case right I've got them here

really you're quite amusing mr. Winston

thank you

you'll like the matron in the city jail

too

she's one of the Philadelphia Smith

perhaps by this time you're beginning to

see that I mean business now then you

want to stop trying to be clever or do

you want to spend the night in jail do

the men have separate boards from the

women I think you settled it then young

lady night in jail may make you people

see that murder isn't amusing this is an

outrage it's always murder

oh you can't do this wait and see I

break you for this the governor is a

personal friend of mine and of mine and

I happen to know that he's a little

funny when it comes to murder he doesn't

like it don't be a lot of fools he

doesn't intend ascenders syc good

evening sergeant de vivir sir have you

the warrants desert yes yes all signed

and in order all right take these people

down and lock them up yes sir all right

step lively I demand to see my lawyer

miss Morgan saw her lawyer today and I

don't think she enjoyed it you'll be

sorry for this

good night when a deer

winces good night my dear and the

sweet dream.

[Applause]

Turn

[Applause]

Oh come on down Derry we've got another

corpse that what what what the family's

all locked up

yeah sure you're a smart guy

I don't know I'm over it

you're coming down okay get me the

police station Oh give me the desk

sergeant the City Jail yeah hello this

is Winston private investigator on the

Morgan case I sent down seven of the

upper crust for you will you send

somebody in and see if they're all there

yes hey Mike take a look at the 400 and

see if they're all there okay sergeant

don't touch her magic hey what's the

matter what

what

she says you remind her of her mother.

[Laughter]

Yes I know you're gonna write a letter

to the Commissioner say what are you

trying to do rip me Jimmy no say if you

guys don't tell me up there's gonna be a

murder

well that's what we're here for two

murders he did them what hey pipe down

yeah hide among oh go read your ticker I

want to know what Steel's doing all

there sergeant

okay all I mr. Winston okay thanks oh

wait a minute

turn them all loose but I put a man on

each one of them now I'll be responsible

why runs over here men don't know place

at all I've scoured the whole house now

the only answer is there must be a

closet or a room somewhere that we don't

know anything about I don't want to know

anything about it all right bill

make it snappy cut it right there

what do you make of that huh I wonder

steal great guns nothing rubber about

that come on let's get out of here

I've seen sights

but that one rather a neat way of doing

it though huh

they don't think it's neat fiendish is

the devil do you realize that the

murderer left that switch all not

carrying who got killed and while he's

asleep in the county jail he commits

another murder but he wasn't here to

turn off the switch and bring the body

in here I think that cinches it but

which one well you saw him which is the

most likely well the odds are about even

there's a cousin Marjorie who'd commit

murder just for the fun of it and her

mother to kill anything that stood in

her way but I think it stands between

the two uncles Addams is a smooth and

old devil as I've ever seen but.

Thornton's deep you know the big

businessman would stop at nothing what

about the brother and his boyfriend well

I think they're all right Jensen's in

love with the girl and her brother seems

genuinely fond of her what's the girl's

story oh she said someone shot her in

the dark she ran upstairs and hid and by

the way she heard that same cry that

grump heard and according to her it

wasn't particularly pleasant just the

same I'd like to hear it then what else

did she do besides steal my car well she

said she came back down was about to be

towed out the front door when she heard

a car and motorcycle driver said by that

time she didn't know where to turn and

when she came in here and saw her double

sitting cold and stiff at the table she

did go nuts got scared of the police as

well as the rest hidden the cellar and

then stole the car she hid out all the

next day thought better of it and was on

her way to the station when they picked

her up it's logical Barksdale asked her

out here yes and what they were all

after I think was a snip of paper that

she'd got that day at the bank

which doesn't make much sense of course

unless it's a safe combination what was

it 13131313 I'd like to get old man

Morgan alone for about 10 minutes I'd

teach the old Buzzard how to write a

will

well we get the family down here and try

and sweat it out of them actually put a

close watch on them and see who comes

down here oh I'm in favor of the last

now our friend may get curious and come

down to see if he's had another killing

then we keep this last one quiet huh

that's right I've got a hunch it's the

missing uncle look I'm gonna call miss

Morgan call a car or two with you I'm

kind of ashamed Ripper cuz I've bothered

him so much lately thank you well this

is the kind of serious I'm gonna get I'm

gonna get killed every day hello there's

a good apartment how'd you like our city

jail listen child I want you to destroy

that strip of paper at once and don't

tell anyone what was written on it not

even your brother but

no one's accusing your brother they

listen don't you get too smart you know

there's a distinct prejudice in the

police department against little girls

who go around stealing police cards

oh ho you're not well 21 is a mere drop

in the bucket

what say will you shut up and let me

talk now listen don't tell anyone those

numbers and if anyone tries to get them

out of you let me know immediately will

you do that like a sweet little girl

that was a great win yeah what did he

want he told me not to tell anybody the

numbers on that slip of paper 131313

[Laughter]

We're gonna say don't tell him I told

you

shame on you looking at those things ah

why don't you have luncheon with me

it'll be more comfortable than standing

out here

how'd you know how to fall on you have

you ever been to the zoo sure did you

see the elephant yeah well that's how I

know.

Fred you're not very bright but you may

come in handy I'm about to go calling

would you like to come along

I gotta go wherever you go is that a

theme song or just your plain way of

saying things

oh well I you would better ride with me

no I'm getting a pain in the neck from

looking back at you mug

of course just looking at you may give

me a pain in the neck

get in

okay stay there until you relieved that

was bet late detail to watch Adams he

says that hasn't met the house all day

but something just came up in a

limousine with grump grump

he's telling the Thornton girl tailing

her he's riding in the limousine withers

I give a hundred bucks to see that come

in there's a dr. Sherwood outside so he

has some information on the Morgan case

dr. Sherwood yes sir

send him in I hope he's our man okay

captain Brown how do you do

won't you sit down yeah thank you I hope

you're a plastic surgeon I see you're

ahead of me I am as a matter of fact and

I operated on the young lady who was

killed

I only saw your notice in the paper this

morning yeah well we didn't know until

last night the wrong girl had been

killed but when did you operate on her

several months ago three as a matter of

fact she and her brother came to warrant

well she said he was her brother what

name did they give Morgan Morgan may I

take dr. Sherwood over to mrs. Morgan's

apartment okay you could identify either

brother couldn't you well certainly he

came to me twice fine let's go well

goodbye captain Brown

goodbye doctor and thank you thank you

hello tell me about this that's your man

no say why aren't you down at the old

house well hi rather tired of being

there so much you a picture of your

friend Jenson around yes I think so

but look here mr. Winston Murray's gone

down to the old house to meet you

what can you call her well no you didn't

call no I tell you what's it all about

I just got in she left this

was it though well I get picture of.

Jetson short to the back wait please

it'll operate it get me done with some 9

68 hurry

that's the one or even that call

hello

hello oh yeah listen child don't get in

the panic but get out of the house as

quick as you can

is there an officer guarding it yeah man

when I told him you sister infants

didn't you call me

now don't get in a penny just get the

officer to drive you to the Douglas and

police station and wait for me there

now beat it where's Miss Morgan hasn't

she been here

no no one's been here you come with me I

may need you do it

see ya tell Ryan appeal it over to the

Morgan house as soon as he gets here yes

sir

isn't she dad no

you'll come around all right come on

what you doing my sister yeah I don't

know come on get up.

Nolan are you done with Miss Morgan come

on I'll make it snappy

miss Morgan I don't know where is he

just a swell species of skunk sounds

more tummy what are you done with her

I tell you I did you call her and tell

her to meet me here no I swear I didn't

we know all about sure wouldn't the

other girls so you may as well tell us

the rest who was in on this with you.

Barksdale so you killed her and then

backed out so you wouldn't have to split

that no I don't know who killed him I

swear it pick up that phone no no why

not

because that's the way Lila got it

you were there that night and you kill

her no I saw her after after shooting it

miss Morgan no no I didn't

oh you're a liar go on take him down

we'll lock him up but Phil I tell you

Ryan it doesn't make good sense why go

to all the trouble to impersonate

someone and then kill the impersonator.

Jensen tried to kill miss Morgan but

somebody else killed the girl thinking

it was miss Morgan Jensen knew the

difference there have been two different

factions working in this against each

other when it

but where's exactly get an axe break

that wall in and son you'd better go on

back to the station why because I don't

think your sister is going to be alive

when we find it

[Applause]

Got a patent on that little electrical

device of yours Adams no I'm sorry to

say I hadn't well I wouldn't worry about

it if I were you

the state's got something that works

along the same lines and we're going to

give you an exclusive demonstration take

him out into that safety deposit box

sure what did you find only a million

dollars of securities for her a million

how disgusting I hope it is in u.s.

steel don't worry if it isn't I left the

securities there of course but this

letter was on top and I thought you'd

want it thank you.

- Murray the thirteenth guess I can

imagine that I was it all the time.

I.

The poor lamb

reading aloud y-yes

my dear child I'm making a rather

melodramatic attempt to protect your

fortune but if I am right about the

other members of the family it is almost

certain to reveal them to you in their

true light so that you will not make the

same mistake I made when I married into

it.

Bless you my dear and may they have

killed each other off by the time you

receive this your father

it's said but it's also darn good advice

what they're not to marry into a screwy

family.

[Laughter]

Tell me where you've been well first I

went

when he had told me to tailor

[Applause]

[Applause]

Hello hello Phil this is Ryan listen

I've got another swell I'm not

interested.

[Applause]

When you hear the tone of the gong it

will be exactly twelve o'clock and six

split seconds

hello ring stuyvesant 9600 and keep

ringing it and when you've done that

well well ring it some more.

[Applause]

[Music]