Original subtitles

Good evening and thank you very much.

Naturally I am pleased to have won the race, but I would,

like to console the losers with this bit of philosophy.

It matters not who runs the race. It's how you win the count.

I have a feeling I wasn't expected to triumph.

The wreath is size eight and a quarter.

I'll have to take a tuck in it. And now for the next event, in the preliminaries,

this contestant made the distance in one minute flat.

Let us hope he can improve that.

What are you doing Cash? Looking at the Hudson?

Yeah it's a funny thing about that river tonight. It's flowing backwards.

-Backwards? -Yeah I've been watching it about an hour.

It's flowing the wrong way.

-Oh! You mean the tide's coming up, huh?

No. The whole river is flowing backwards from New York to Albany.

Time's flowing right along with it.

What have you been drinking, hair tonic?

Get your hand off.

What's the matter?

Look I'm just sitting here peacefully. I don't like anybody coming along messing up my hair.

Muscling up your hair, Cash?

I think you're lucky to have enough to muss at your age.

When does they start the race Louise?

-Where's Cash? -On the veranda.

Cash...

Are you all right? Oh darling you're not going...

Why did you come out here? Jim tell you something?

-Please darling not tonight. -I'm asking you what did he say?

Darling we haven't paid our dues in a year,

and every saturday night you mess things up.

What do you mean I messed things up?

Honestly darling they won't even let us in the club.

-I don't mess things up. -Hey Cash

Hey champ, what time's the race boy?

There isn't going to be a race tonight Jim.

Hey, no race tonight fellas. Boy I never,

Thought I'd see this sad day coming.

The champion races no more.

Cash don't say anything just don't answer them.

Now the slob's wife has to pick him up,

with a car of it. Now he can't even walk up shake it.

-Darling don't let them tease you. -What's the matter Cash?

Have you lost your wind?

Fellas I'm afraid that age has gotten the better of our champions.

Champ, champ...

I know what he needs he needs another drink.

-No thanks Jim, not tonight. -What? it's your favorite drink.

I'm not taking the hurdles tonight.

That's right we're leaving now.

Oh hey, wait a minute champ it's gin and tonic.

And when I say tonic you know what i mean champ.

I mean pure hair.

All right Jim so you make three times the money I do.

So you can pay your bills that I can't.

-But you can't stand the fact that I was once a champion. -Okay...

So I'm still healthy and I'm not getting soft like the rest of you.

Ah cut it out, will you. I just wanted a hurdle race.

I love a hurdle race.

All right you'll get a hurdle race.

Attention everybody Cash is gonna jump!

Okay gang let's get everything organized.

Lay the floor for the hurdle race.

You want a race I'll give you a race.

All right and I expect you to beat your best time tonight.

-Are you ready? -Go get my coat in the car.

George give me a little more space behind that sofa will you.

Phil, move that table back a little.

Move those girls out of there.

I'll fire when I see the whites of your eyes.

Ok, fellas I'm ready.

On your mark.

Get set.

Go!

Cash Bentley my hat's off to you that was the best hurdling I ever did see.

Here's your coat champ.

Wait a minute, I haven't finished yet.

Finish what?

What I started out to do.

Don't forget your gun Cash.

Come on honey let's go. The babysitter will be sore.

Or does she have that boyfriend tonight.

Sweetheart I'm just crazy about that face.

Mrs Bentley, is that you?

-Yes, Kathy. -No Kathy.

-Oh hello mrs Bently. -Hello kathy.

- I hope we didn't scare you did we? -Oh not at all.

-I was just making sure... -Hello mr Bentley. -Hello.

Hello, Eric.

-Kathy, are the children all right? -Oh fine they went right to sleep.

Did you close the window in your bedroom?

-Yes I did I thought it got chilly in there. -Oh good.

It was hard to ask, you do you think you'll be free next weekend.

Yes saturday evening.

Oh well I'm not definitely sure about it yet but if I,

call you in the middle of the week we'll be all right?

-Fine I'll keep it open for you. -Thank you.

-Are you working for anyone else. -Yes I am.

-You sure got a fine collection of trophies mr Bentley. -Yes.

Mr Bentley I ran those films of you winning the intercollegiates.

-Mrs Bentley gave me permission. -Sure.

They're pretty old.

Eric, Kathy's waiting.

-Good night mrs Bentley.

-Good night, dear. -Good night mrs Bentley.

Please.

What would you do without a husband.

Oh shut up.

I'll never smile again.

Until I smile at you I'll never love again.

You know those russian ballet dancers that jump so high?

How about I could have been one of those, huh?

What do you think?

Darling, I spoke to the doctor about straightening jody's teeth.

I don't think we can do it now it costs too much.

All right, I know.

Money.

I suppose you wish you were married to Jim.

And you'll have three times as much money.

You'd have a slob but you'd have money.

-Did you put the cat out? -No I didn't.

Give me time.

-What were you doing? -I was dancing.

Since I'm not allowed to hurdle anymore i thought I might be allowed to dance,

a step or two before I die.

Why do you want to keep me from hurtling? Herdling's my life.

Listen Cash, if it means so much to why don't you jump over,

- the dining room table every morning. -You think I can't.

-I said do you think I can't jump over the dining room table. -Yes of course you can.

What about the sofa? -Yes of course you can.

-And the hedge? -Yes! -Your five foot hedge of the patio?

-Yes!. -Guys can jump over that? -Yes, yes, yes!

You mean you really have got faith in your husband well sit down and watch.

Cash, you you can't be serious.

-Cash, you're drunk. -Sll right this is the course.

Over this table...

over this chair, into the patio around the pool over the hedge.

Back around the pool over that chair, and we'll end up right here.

Cash, if you do this I'll never talk to you again.

You worried about my heart? You'll get the insurance.

-Cash I beg you. -On your mark.

-I hate you. -Get set.

Oh, what is it? -I broke my leg.

Oh, stupid can I be.

Call the doctor.

I never told you it wasn't a serious,

break. In a sense all breaks are serious.

And after we get to a certain age they tend to become more serious.

Tell me honestly, doc, will I walk again?

Of course you'll walk again.

-Will I run again? -Yes you'll run again.

-What kind of an answer is that? -What do you mean?

Well the tone in your voice belies the words.

I didn't say you were going to run from here to San Francisco.

Will I i hurdle again?

No, of course of course you won't hurdle again.

It's an idiotic question because you never should have been hurdling in the first place.

You're not a kid anymore.

Okay doc, so I'm not a kid anymore.

I'll just take your advice and grow up and die.

Well it's something we all have to face.

I told him I'd take the cast off before long.

-But he's got to be very careful. -Thank you doctor. Goodbye.

Boy some saturday night.

Why don't we go to parties anymore?

Insult everyone that comes into the house.

They did have a party I don't see why they'd have to invite us.

Sure...

Oh what are they gonna do dance all night?

Teenagers, how stupid can you get?

-Shut up! -Cash, they are just having a little fun. -Well that's more than I am.

Cash?

Cash, it's the blackwoods they want us to go to the club.

What for? We don't evenbelong anymore.

-Well they do. They want us to be their guests. -How nice.

How Jim dandy. I wonder why they're being concerned...

Cash, they're on the phone what should I tell them.

Tell them sure. Sure Cash wants to come.

He's gonna do the hurdles for him.

You wanted to go, didn't you?

Oh youth.

Beauty.

Good night sweetheart.

On your mark.

Get set.

Bang!

Hey Cash, hey champ, easy.

-Not supouse to start him off? -Sure.

On your mark, get set...go.

Question four: what did wordsworth mean when he said...

The thought of death rests easy on the,

man who has been born and dies among the mountains.

Please be careful Cash.

What's the matter don't you think I can walk.

-Hello kathy. -Good evening mrs Bentley.

-Hello Eric. -Hello mrs Bentley.

-Is everything all right? -Fine.

-I'm sorry. -Oh that's all right.

-Oh sure. -Tomorrow I go to church but not till 11.

-Good night mrs Bentley. -Good night dear.

You coming out dear?

You go ahead, I want to look at something.

Cash, what are you doing?

The darn cat goes under the sofa and I can't catch it.

Are you moving the furniture?

Cash?

Here.

Cash, why don't you come to bed?

Sure.

I'm a hurtler. not gonna hurt.

Now you fire.

Cash, I never fire a gun.

I'll say on your mark.

Get set.

And you fire.

Cash I won't.

So you will.

Just pull the trigger.

On your mark.

Get set.

Come on I can't wait all night.

On your mark!

Get set!

Cash,

I don't know how to do it.

The little lever. Just push that little lever, then you can pull the trigger.

On your mark.

Get set!

Come on!

On your mark! Get set!

Go!

Cash?

Cash...

That is known as domestic skeet shooting.

With live skeet.

And I see another commercial is coming up.

it's amazing what you see when you don't have a gun.

By the way tonight's story has inspired,

something new and exciting in track meets.

Spectators are sold pistols instead of popcorn.

But the bang is limited to three hurdlers per person.

I'm told it adds a great deal of zest to the sport.

Next week we should continue our study of the strange byways,

of american folklore. Until then good night.