Original subtitles

[EERIE MUSIC PLAYING]

Downloaded from YTS.MX

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

NARRATOR: In March 1959, off the coast of Texas,

there were reports of a new species, the giant killer shrew.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

[KILLER SHREWS SQUEALING]

[PANTING]

Thorne, Thorne.

Thorne!

Get me out of here, Thorne!

[KILLER SHREWS SQUEALING]

Thorne!

[GRUNTS]

[HOWLING]

[GROWLING]

[GROWLING]

Somebody... Somebody... Somebody help me!

Please, somebody help me!

[KILLER SHREWS GROWLING]

[GRUNTS]

[SCREAMING]

Rook.

Yeah, Thorne?

[EXCLAIMS]

Nothing, Rook.

[EERIE MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING]

[COUGHS]

ROOK: Well, there it is. The island.

Sure is a lot of quiet out there.

Too quiet.

Look, just dock the boat and let get this crap off of here.

I am not crap.

I am the sponsor of a major network TV series.

While you're on my boat, you're crap.

I'm paying you a hell of a lot of money to transport us.

Who the hell are these people?

Some TV show.

Advent's Wild Safari.

We're here to shoot the sizzle reel for MIPCOM.

Hi, I'm Christine, Miss Advent.

THORNE: Well, twinkle, twinkle little star.

I just wonder if you, uh...

She's mine, old man.

THORNE: Oh, tiddley tuddley.

Let's get this happy couple off of here and get away from this island.

Why are you so scared of the island?

It's not the island, it's what was on it.

Some time ago.

Oh, the Boogeyman, maybe?

THORNE: If I was to tell you,

you'd have to change your skivvies right now.

[ENGINE STARTS]

Hey, guys, I'm Sam, the unit production manager.

Welcome to my nightmare.

What the hell does he know about a nightmare?

"Nightmare?" Are you telling me we're behind schedule?

Uh, no, sir. I'd say we are hopelessly behind schedule.

What'd you bring?

T-shirts for the cast and crew, and money.

I'm told Johnny Reno wants to be paid in cash.

[STAMMERS] So do I. So do we.

Well, Captain Ahab, the sooner you get the stuff unloaded,

the sooner you get the green.

I'm not gonna unload that crap off the boat.

WALLY: You know, he's right.

I wouldn't ask an old man to carry my bags.

Sam?

"Old man?" I'll slap you to sleep

and then slap you for sleeping.

Gentlemen, please, I'll take care of it.

- Don't you dare hit him. - Oh, you...

Will you shut your pretty mouth?

I will not.

Ooh.[GASPS]

Don't worry about the cargo.

I'll get someone from crew to take care of your stuff.

Stop teasing the old man.

I like him. He's cute.

[GROANS]

I think I'm in love.

[SCOFFS] Yeah.

I think your shorts are on backyards.

Oh, I'll whip you too, you know.

This would be good for the coconut tree climbing scene.

Uh, Hector, I don't have those pages.

That's because the star just made it up.

He wants to be seen climbing a coconut tree.

[CHUCKLES] These aren't coconut trees.

We'll fix it in post.

CGI.

We put him in front of a green screen, hoist him up on wires.

It's TV magic.

I thought this was a reality show.

That's what we need CGI for, Bobby,

to make it look more real.

[SIGHS]

Hector.

Hector, come look what I found.

You're not gonna believe this.

What is it?

- It's bones. - Bones?

As in spare rib bones?

'Cause if it's got barbeque sauce on it, bring it on.

No, not spare rib bones, it's a spinal column.

BOBBY: I wonder what happened to the poor guy?

HECTOR: Looks like something ate him.

[EXCLAIMS] It's been here a while.

[BOBBY READING TEXT]

Hey, I gotta call this in to Sam.

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

Yeah, Production.

Sam, we found some...

HECTOR:...bones.

...dead guy...

What? Hector, you found what?

You're breaking up. Call me back.

Lost the signal. I'll be right back.

[KILLER SHREW SQUEALING]

[GROWLING] Nice doggie.

Nice doggie.

[BOBBY SCREAMING]

What's the matter with you?

Oh, man, what happened?

[SCREAMING]

Hector, you're breaking up.

Are you guys eating?

Dude, all I can hear is crunching.

You are crunching in my ear.

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

- Yeah? - Sam.

Get on the set now!

Follow me. I'll introduce you to main cast and crew.

Why don't you introduce us to our money?

Oh, calm down, Thorne. We'll get it.

They're still unloading the boat.

[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]

Now that girl right there with the camera,

that is our videographer. That is Mickey.

Now, the guy next to her is our director.

That's Willard.

Whatever you do, do not make direct eye contact with him.

Bull.

I'm paying that clown's salary.

Yours too.

Get ready, Johnny Reno. And action!

Hang on.

And that is Johnny Reno,

our star.

Remember...

it's a Johnny Reno world.

You just live in it.

I want a picture with him.

[CHUCKLES] You can't right now because he's working.

I'm Miss Advent. I can do anything I want.

That was good, right? That was great.

Lenora, add a gag to that next scene, will you?

And cut that stupid line of Reno's.

I'm not doing any more script changes. It's perfect.

[STAMMERS] Sam, how long have you been on this island?

The uh, the main boat dropped us off yesterday.

Have you, uh...

Have you heard or seen anything weird or strange?

Besides our director?

Nah, uh, I'm not talking about that squirrel.

I've been... No.

Uh, no. Why do you ask?

If I were you, I'd pick a different island to shoot your movie on.

It'd be a little too late for that.

Work with me people.

And when I say "work with me,"

I mean, "I'm the director, obey me!"

Or I know where you live, and there will be on Christmas.

Capisco?

All right, Neavis.

Bring in the goat.

What is that supposed to be?

It's a goat.

A wild goat.

From the great wild country.

That's not a goat.

That's Derek dressed up as a goat.

He doesn't even have any horns for Chrissake.

It's a female goat.

Females don't have horns.

Whoa, I'm not playing a female goat.

That would be weird.

Yeah, actually, females do have horns.

This is wrong on so many different levels.

What happened to the real goat?

It was too expensive.

The trainer wanted $500 a day.

We'll make it work.

- Mickey! - I'm right here.

Yes.

Let's not actually show the goat.

Okay, let's hide him behind a bush or something.

We'll make him like a shadowy mystery figure.

All he has to do is film a poisonous snake.

Poisonous snake? What poisonous snake?

The one that bites you.

- Bites me? - Yes.

[STAMMERS] I mean, except he won't.

Neavis knocked it out.

It's an unconscious poisonous snake.

We're just gonna fake the attack on you.

Neavis is gonna, uh, pull it in on a string

and Derek, you work with me.

You sure the snake's asleep?

He looks dead to me.

I think Neavis overdosed it.

Neavis, you have to pull the string around a bit.

You have to make him look alive.

Do I have to do everything myself?

I am losing control here.

Everybody quiet!

I hate you all.

Roll camera.

Speed.

Advent Outdoor Wear presents...

Advent's Wild Safari,

Snake Attacks Wild Goat, take one.

On your knees, goat.

[BLEATING]

And action, Neavis. Bring in the snake.

[SIGHS IN EXASPERATION] This is great.

You getting all this, Mickey?

It's a steaming pile of art.

And... Action, Johnny Reno.

Oh, look.

Here comes the eastern diamondback rattler.

One bite from this little bugger

means instant blood-boiling agony,

and eventual screaming death.

Hah! I like the little bugger.

[HISSING]

The snake actually looks alive.

He... Is he awake?

Uh, it's awake.

Guys, I think the snake woke up.

Improvise.

[BLEATING]

[SCREAMS]

Oops. My string broke.

Ah, God. Now we got a snake lost in the grass.

Oh, God.

We'll fix it in post. Keep rolling, keep rolling.

- MICKEY: On what? - WILLARD: Just coverage.

[KILLER SHREWS SQUEALING]

[GROWLING]

Do you hear that?

I heard it.

[GROWLING]

I think we're gonna need a bigger goat.

[GRUNTS]

Keep rolling. Go with it.

Reno.

The goat has poison venom in him.

Go over there and suck it out.

Wait a minute. The snake bit him in the ass.

Now that would be interesting.

I don't think this is good for me.

I need to ask my agent.

Stella!

I'm, I'm right here.

No way. No way Jose. You're not doing it.

I mean, just think of those pictures on the internet.

I mean, oh, my God, there goes your career.

Yeah, maybe she'd like to direct a scene, huh?

Reno, will you please drag the poisoned goat's lifeless body to safety?

Yeah, it's okay.

Clear the set.

Action, Reno!

RENO: [STRAINING] Come on. Come on.

Come on, little goaty.

Come on, little goaty. I got you. [STRAINING]

[STRAINING] WILLARD: Clear.

Good job. Good job. Thanks.

And cut! That's a keeper.

Do you have to smell like a goat?

Yeah. We're missing crew members.

I can't reach them on the cell.

Who cares? We're insured.

Send an intern and call lunch.

All right, everybody, that is lunch.

Intern!

Sam, there is no reason to yell.

Think about people's feelings.

Ah, lunch. That sounds good.

No. You wanna stay?

We can't leave now. we haven't been paid.

Oh, yeah, right.

You're an intern?

I'm reinventing myself.

Great. Okay, you know Hector and Bobby?

Yes, Hector got me this gig.

Okay, you go looking for them.

If you find them, you call me on that radio.

You pull this off, I'll make you PA.

INTERN: Hector!

[KILLER SHREW GROWLING]

Hector!

Bobby.

Hmm.

Where could those guys be?

Just smile at the camera and just collect the cash.

Don't put any more into it than that.

I have a source at the network that tells me this isn't gonna last

more than half a season.

Yeah, you know why? Because it's boring.

You know why it's boring? Because they have me and they're not using me.

Me!

I mean, what they need to do is

they need to have a wild animal attack

right at the very beginning.

That way, I can rip off my shirt, I can wade into the water,

and save the leading lady.

No, no. You're just gonna sit there,

you're just gonna talk to the camera,

and you're just gonna follow the script. Boring.

- But no, how about this? - You're gonna look pretty.

An alligator attacks the camp.

That way, I can rip off my shirt,

I can jump on that sucker's back,

and we can get right into it.

No, look, you know you don't have a stunt double.

You know that, right?

Well, we'll use a small alligator.

A small alligator.

I can handle this.

RENO: Whoa, check out the new talent.

Wait, she's too young for you.

Yeah, but I'd make her one heck of a mentor.

Hi.

How are you? I'm the, uh...

I'm the guy. [CHUCKLES]

She just gave me the stink eye.

I'm the star. Can she do that?

I think she just did.

Um, hi. Do you guys mind if I sit here?

Mm-mm.

As a matter of fact, yes.

Um...

Please don't hate me because I'm stunning, okay?

There's absolutely nothing I can do about it.

It's like a 12, okay?

Do you guys like my shirt?

Oh, I sure do.[GIGGLES]

It really brings out my eyes. [CHUCKLES]

I mean, your eyes.

Well, aren't you just a smooth talker?

Okay, can we go back to discussing the setup now?

Thanks. Awesome.

What's a setup?

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

I'm full.

Hector.

[EERIE MUSIC PLAYING]

[GROWLING]

[SCREAMING]

[INTERN GROANING]

Uh, Mr. Reno,

they're ready for you on the set.

[CLASSIC ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

Mm.

If you wanted me to write something else,

you should've had me write something else.

I'm just writing what you're telling me to write.

Now you're telling me to change it.

LENORA: Hello? Hello? Look, pay attention.

Great.

Great. [GASPS]

[BUZZING]

No coverage.

Great.

Where's my medicine?

Somebody say something?

[BUZZING]

WILLARD: That's a wrap.

[REGGAE MUSIC PLAYING]

I didn't know reality shows had writers.

Somebody's gotta make this crap up.

Nice moves.

Say, have you seen Hector and Bobby?

Hector and Bobby? No.

It's not like I've been looking for them.

Thanks for the help.

Oh, the old watering hole.

We will abide.

DEREK: Hey, do you think this is gonna leave a scar?

I mean, the pain was really intense.

Well, yeah, probably.

Try a little tequila on there.

[SCREAMING]

[LAUGHING] Works for me.

[LAUGHING] Excuse me.

Yeah, a good year.

Hey. Hey, hey, hey.

What's up? Tell me something.

[LAUGHS] Tell me something.

Yeah.

I am Johnny Reno.

[CHUCKLES] Right, I'm... I'm actually from Georgia.

Yeah.

And you look so familiar to me.

You ever spend any time in Georgia?

About 30 years ago, I was a...

I was a sheriff down there.

You know, chasing moonshiners.

No. Yeah.

Well, I tell you something,

I was changed around in Georgia a lot,

but it was usually by women,

and sometimes I let them catch me.

[LAUGHING]

I'll drink to that.

- Yeah? - Mm-hm.

Well I, you know, ah, listen.

I love to chase women myself, you know.

But at my age, it has to be downhill.

[ALL LAUGHING]

- You. You... - Yeah.

- Is he... - I...

- Nah. - Nah.

Yeah.

Sorry to keep bugging you, okay?

But I am missing two crew members.

- I was an ass. - Yes, you were.

Sorry. Who?

Uh, Hector and Bobby, and now, one of the interns.

The, uh, more mature one.

Oh, that woman who keeps talking about reinventing herself?

Yeah, her. I told her if she found them, I'll make her a PA.

Mm.

No, I keep running into Reno's hairdresser,

the professional wannabe virgin.

Hi. Can I sit here?

Um, so, I've always wanted to be an actress, okay?

Are you the camera guy?

[BURPS] I'm the camera person.

Oh, okay.

Well, I really wanna be a serious actress,

and Johnny Reno said he would help me.

So, do you think you can make me look as good as a movie star?

Maybe.

If I find some extra strong filters.

Great.

Okay. [CHUCKLES]

Come on.

Or be a paper bag.

Hey, don't you find me really attractive?

Yes, you're very beautiful, but I do not date actresses.

But I'm not an actress.

But I really wanna be, so can you help me?

Look, I just work for a living, okay?

I really think you need to look for someone

a little higher up on the food chain.

But I think you're pretty high up on the food chain.

[KILLER SHREWS SQUEALING]

Do you hear that?

Hear what?

[SIGHS] Never mind. Look.

Have you seen Hector or Bobby? The interns?

I don't do interns.

Gross.

Hey. Hey.

Why the sad eyes?

You know, it's Sam.

Why does he have to go into a trance

every time some bimbo on his sight gives him the eye.

He ever done that to you?

Shut up, Neavis.

Well, you seem a little jealous.

This is not about me.

This is about his work.

Look, look, I've known Sam for a lot of years,

and if he seems distracted, it's because he's...

he's got a lot on his mind.

Uh, Sam's got this whole production on his shoulders.

You know he's always been about the work.

Well, he seems a little bit distracted.

SAM: All right, listen up.

Look, I've got three crew missing.

Maybe they're dead. That's why we have insurance.

Who's dead?

Bobby and Hector are missing,

two of our PAs, and now an intern.

So we gotta find them.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. Listen.

We can make this part of the show.

The rescue.

It's supposed to be a wildlife show.

It is a wildlife show, only we are the wildlife.

Some bloodthirsty creature ran away with our crew, right?

Maybe killed them.

Even better!

So now, instead of searching for some dumb animals,

we're searching for our dead guys, huh?

"Dumb animals?"

If, if someone is missing, then maybe I can save them.

[LAUGHS]

Okay, we start shooting as planned.

Okay, we make Hector and Bobby the new storyline.

In the morning, Johnny sends out two teams to go hunt for them.

A camera team goes with each crew.

A third camera documents the main search party

led by Johnny Reno on his quest

to find the missing intern. Huh?

And Johnny Reno finds the poor missing intern.

Whoever finds Hector and Bobby...

Let's shoot it like Reno found them.

Dead or alive.

We gotta protect our star, or there's no series.

Well, hey, yeah, you do have to...

You do have to protect the star, or there's no series.

WILLARD: We'll protect the star, of course.

What did you think I was going to do? [CHUCKLES]

You're gonna want a rewrite.

[KILLER SHREW SQUEALING]

You know, you've got darn near

a fifth of tequila in you, buddy.

Why aren't you relaxed?

How can I relax? I can't relax

till I get off this island.

[KILLER SHREW GROWLING] Did you hear that sound?

No. I didn't hear...

Then shut up and listen.

I'm telling you, there's something out there.

Nothing but the wind.

There's something out there.

Yeah, well, there's a...

There's a big storm out there and it's headed this way.

Why don't we just get on back the boat and get some shut-eye?

Yeah. Yeah.

Thorne.

Thorne Sherman.

You're a dead man walking.

You just don't know it yet.

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

I'm done, Willard. I'm so out of here.

Why?

Everything's going so good.

Wally's here with the cash.

Johnny's in full hero mode and we're getting great stuff.

Everything has changed.

This was supposed to be a wildlife show.

Now you've got us out hunting some dead PAs.

The situation is fluid.

I'm working with what nature has generously provided.

Adapt, improvise, and overcome.

And rewrite.

Over and over and over again!

Assuming the missing crew are dead...

we are now a reality show with a body count...

which means big ratings and obscenely big money.

[SCOFFS] Not for me.

My paycheck is spent, as usual.

I'll give you points on this one.

10% of the show.

Net or gross?

Gross.

It's a deal.

Shall we seal this deal?

What do you want, Willard?

Me or the rewrite?

The rewrite.

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

Get to work.

[SNORING]

So, what do you think?

Oh, I like it much better without.

Oh, you're so sweet.

But won't the others hear us?

Mm, in this rain?

Besides, I set up our tent 50 yards away from the others.

I figure we want our privacy.

[PLAYS HIGH-PITCHED NOTE]

[CHRISTINE GIGGLING][KILLER SHREW GROWLING]

[GIGGLING]

Stop messing around.

[KILLER SHREW SQUEALING]

[BOTH SCREAMING]

Hey, look. I, uh...

I'm sorry about last night.

She, uh, dragged me away.

Yeah. Doesn't matter.

It's your business. I'm here to work.

Great. That means we can start over.

Look, Sam,

I don't have time for these little flirtations.

Okay? Let's just keep it professional.

THORNE: Hey, Sam. Sam?

Hey.

- Yeah. - We want our money.

We want it right now, and get off of this island.

Right, right. No, sure thing.

Um, look, I'm, uh, I'm not the money guy.

We gotta find Wally.

So, he... He should be on set right now.

Well, [STAMMERS] let's find him. Let's get on with it.

Lead the way, man. Yeah.

Sam, let's get this show on the road.

Stella, can you please make sure Johnny Reno is ready?

THORNE: Hey, Sam.

Where's the money guy?

This Wally and that twinkle toes.

Just give me one second, please. We're trying to split up the crew.

I think they said they were going up the path ahead of us.

We'll catch 'em.

Uh, yeah. Best I can do for you.

- Reno! - What?

The camera's over here, babe.

Oh.

Okay, this is it.

Johnny, this is your big hero moment.

You send out two teams

to search for the production assistants,

while you bravely search the most dangerous part of the jungle yourself.

Huh?

Should I take off my shirt?

Let's play with that.

I like it. What would Johnny Reno do, huh?

I'm giving you space here.

Jawohl!

Here we go, boys and girls. This is it.

[RAPID BREATHING]

Let's roll camera!

- I don't know what that's about. - DEREK: Rolling.

WILLARD: Hold. Keep it rolling.

Action!

Okay, everybody, I think what we need to do is...

Think, think The Duke.

I love that show.

RENO: Oh, no, no. [CLEARS THROAT]

Now listen here, everyone.

I understand you're part of my posse.

Well, that means it's time to get our wagons in a circle,

and go out and help me save those dead guys.

Forward!

[YELLING]

Did he say "Save our dead guys"?

How do you save a dead guy?

I didn't write that.

[RENO YELLING]

This way.

WILLARD: This way. Stay on Johnny. STELLA: Go!

RENO: Come on, people.

We're burning daylight.

- Hey, Thorne, look here. - What?

They got some money down here.

You think it's ours?

- Well, it's ours now. - All right.

It's got blood all over it.

Oh, jeeze![EXCLAIMS]

Well, it... It'll spend anyway.

What kind of tracks are those?

I don't know, but it's clearly not human.

All right. And action.

So, what do you want me to do?

Okay. [CHUCKLES]

[KILLER SHREW SQUEALING]

Okay, come on.

My close-up. [CHUCKLES]

My camera.

All right, we got this. Let's get out of here.

Moving on.

Hey, Thorne, check this out.

MICKEY: Who is that?

I don't see anyone.

Huh.

[YELLING]

And cut.

That was stupid.

- Oh, no. - No, I look stupid.

Stella, talk to him.

You look great.

I look great, but that was stupid.

- Take five. - ROOK: This way, Thorne.

ROOK: Hey. Hey!

Hey, you guys.

Look at this. Look what I found.

Wait a minute.

I recognize that shirt.

It was Hector's.

The hell it was. I loaned him this shirt.

Look at it, it's ruined.

It started again.

- THORNE: I knew it. - What's happening?

Listen, folks, there's nothing but death on this island.

We gotta get out of here now. The old timer's right.

What do you mean "old timer"?

- Just a figure of speech. - I'll whip you like an omelet.

What about Hector and Bobby?

Hector and Bobby are our new props.

It's better than CGI and cheaper.

Derek, you set your camera up here. Yeah.

Lenora, take these clothes...

to that clearing right over there.

He has no idea what's going on!

Come on, come on. Johnny, on action,

you're gonna discover the clothes, huh?

Here we go, guys.

- On action. - On action.

Lenora.

WILLARD: Clear.

[GROWLING]

Okay, roll camera.

Speed.

Action, Johnny Reno.

Tattered clothing.[KILLER SHREWS SQUEALING]

Little more than a pile of blood-soaked rags.

All that remains of two human beings.

[KILLER SHREWS SQUEALING][SCREAMS]

Wait, Johnny Reno doesn't scream. Come on.

No, Johnny Reno screams when Johnny Reno hears something,

and Johnny Reno heard something.

[PLAYING HIGH-PITCHED NOTE]

- Did you hear that? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I heard it, too.

Well, let's all listen together, shall we, huh?

Anybody hear anything?

Me neither!

Action, Johnny.

[GROWLING]

Believe you me, whatever did this

was mysterious, terrifying and hungry.

And also had very long teeth.

[GROWLING]

Like these.

Tear him up!

[SCREAMING]

[BOTH MUMBLING]

Oh, God.

Not the face! Not the face!

[ALL EXCLAIMING]

[GROWLING]

[LAUGHING]

That was disgusting!

[CRYING]

Holy moly, what the hell.

What do I do with this, Willard?

What is it?

That's Johnny.

That's his arm.

STELLA: [CRYING] Oh my Poor Reno.

Poor Reno.

We'll take it with us, um, bury it later.

I'll, uh, say a few words over...

May God have mercy on this forearm.

Listen, if you wanna get off this island, follow me. Follow me.

I'll bring that. Bring the camera.

Yeah, right.

On a map, north is at the top.

I know where north is on a map.

I don't know where it is on the ground.

Wow, four years of film school for this.

Well, I think you're brilliant.

[GROWLING]

Oh, it's a cute little baby shrew.

Oh, we used to hunt these little suckers with our BB guns.

And I shoot you right between the eyes,

you ugly little creepy guy.

Yeah, you are creepy looking.

[ROARS][SCREAMS]

[KILLER SHREW SQUEALING]

Whoa, whoa, whoa.[SHRIEKING]

Oh, my God!

- Oh, my God! - Run, run, run! Let's go!

Come on.

Come on, come on, let's go.

Here, maybe.

- What? - Here.

Okay, it's over there.

It's right here.

Here, hold this.

Check that out.

Camera's set.

[SCREAMING]

MICKEY: What is that?

[SCREAMING]

Neavis!

MICKEY: Run! Oh, God. Come on.

Come on, come on. They're right behind us.

[PANTING]

Wait. Wait. What were those things?

I don't know, we're not sticking around to find out.

[KILLER SHREWS SQUEALING]

[LIQUID BUBBLING]

[GROWLING]

Well, "man should eat to live, not live to eat."

Moliere.

I think, uh, it was Twain who said it best though,

"When the time has come that a man has had his dinner,

"it is then that the, uh, true man...

"will rise to the surface."

THORNE: Come on, this is the place.

DEREK: Look.

Right there.

What is this place?

This is it. Let's get inside.

[KILLER SHREWS SQUEALING]

- Let's go. - Come on, get in here.

THORNE: They're coming, they're coming.

- THORNE: Close the gate. - I got it, Thorne.

Wait, Sam's coming.

- Wait! Wait! - Come on!

Get in here.

Get that gate!

JULIE: There they are! They're coming! They're coming!

SAM: Stay away from the gate.

Stay back! Everyone stay back.

That's weird.

What made them turn back?

Where's Ernie?

Didn't make it.

We're losing people by the hour here.

Maybe the others are still alive.

No way.

The only reason those creatures didn't follow us

is because they're still feeding.

What are these things?

They're killer shrews.

They're carnivorous.

They're meat-eaters,

and they have to eat ten times their weight every day

or they starve to death.

So, this dung heap is our Alamo?

You talk like you've been here before, old man.

I have.

Come on, everybody. Let's get inside.

The Alamo, huh?

Looks like we're gonna die with our boots on.

Wrong movie.

Where'd you get this?

Oh, I found it blowing in the wind.

[CHUCKLES]

What happened to Wally and Christine?

I don't know, you know.

But I warned you. I, I said this island is dangerous.

- Are they dead? - Yeah, they're dead.

We're all gonna be dead if we don't get off the island.

But you said that you'd been here before, right?

Yeah, I've been here.

Well, I figure that maybe that means you know a safe way down to the boat?

[SIGHS] It's one of my bad habits, you know.

I exaggerate sometimes.

I'm sorry.

Me too.

Oh, that's a really, a cut little backless,

bottomhose evening strap you're almost wearing there.

I found this in one of the bedrooms.

I feel like it's something you've seen before, Mr. Sherman.

Yeah, yeah. I've seen it off and on. [CHUCKLES]

Mostly off.

[CHUCKLING]

Hey. Ooh.

Loot at him...

Who do you think you are, Errol Flynn?

Who's that?

Easy!

Thorne.

How about a little martini?

Ooh. How about a big martini, you cute little heifer?

Rook and I, we've never been one to turn down a drink, huh,

from a beautiful lady. Never.

Mm-hm.

Ooh, that is evil.

Just like my mama's.

Maybe we should stop drinking and start thinking.

Uh, yeah, yeah.

I'm gonna drink myself to death...

right here at this bar.

Well, yeah, we could do that.

Or we could try and figure out a way off this island.

THORNE: Yeah.

Hey, how come we have power here?

Wait, you, you know...

Dang. I don't know.

Why I haven't thought about this before.

Do you know there's a generator down there in the basement?

Well, there used to be.

Well, I think I'm thinking what you're thinking.

One way to find out.

[MACHINE REVVING]

[REVVING STOPS] Yes.

It works.

Why wasn't it on?

All power cells in the house.

When they run dry, you fire up this generator to recharge them.

So what's this idea you're talking about?

Ah, he's gonna make an electric fence.

Exactly.

We run this wire all around the compound,

and we attach the end to the generator here,

it creates an instant electric arc.

Shrews can't get in without getting electrocuted.

[EXCLAIMS] Doggity. We'll barbeque their butts.

Or we'll set the whole place on fire.

Oh. Ooh.

[PANTING]

Come on.

Caves don't have doors.

This one does.

[LIQUID BUBBLING]

[GROWLING]

They're coming! Quick!

[KILLER SHREWS SQUEALING]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

NEAVIS: Wow.

Amazing.

This place looks lived in.

All the comforts of home.

Soup's hot.

SAM: I can't find Derek or Willard.

Stella was talking to them earlier.

And Lenora was with them.

Stella. Stella, where is everyone?

I don't know. [STAMMERING] They're out shooting the show.

Show? What show? There isn't anymore show.

Where, where are they? Where'd they go?

Where?

I... They're somewhere outside the compound.

Where's everybody going?

God, don't you get it?

We're all waiting here to die.

Well, age before beauty.

Just be a minute, Derek.

It's not safe out here.

The guys are building the electric fence to protect us.

If anything happens, we'll just run back inside.

Derek's right.

You saw what those monsters did to Johnny Reno.

Why are we risking our lives for this stupid show?

Do you have any idea what we have on tape?

The death of Johnny Reno.

We've got the most valuable snuff film in the world.

And he was killed by a completely unknown species of creature.

Can we just get the shot and get out of here?

Just a minute, Derek.

Okay, great. So we sell the tape and we're set for life.

Why are we still shooting?

Documentation.

We saw Reno get killed.

We didn't get a good look at what killed him.

The kid is bait.

That's low, even for us.

You wanna be a bottom-feeder all your life, Lenora?

Okay, we're rolling, Derek.

Action.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

Willard, are you crazy? What're you doing out here?

What does it look like? I'm doing my job.

Derek, get back inside the compound.

Stay where you are till I get this shot.

No, that's it. Show's over.

Sam, I'm scared.

[PLAYING HIGH-PITCHED NOTE]

[KILLER SHREWS SQUEALING]

Derek.

Derek. Derek, look at me.

What's going on?

Derek, look at me. Derek, Derek, look at me.

Come this way, very slowly.

I... I can't move.

Yes, you can. Look at me. Just come this way.

No! No!

[DEREK SCREAMING]

[GASPS]

What are we gonna tell the others?

The shrews got Derek and Sam ran away.

We can't.

It was our idea to bring Derek out here. They'll blame us.

It's all about blame with you, isn't it? Fine.

Uh, we'll say they were shooting B-roll.

It'll give us more time. Come on.

[KILLER SHREWS SQUEALING]

Come on!

Come on, you ugly rat-faced bastards! Come on!

Come on, come get me. What's stopping you?

[SQUEALING]

You don't like the water, do you?

[CHUCKLES]

Oh, this wiring is loose. But I can fix it.

Rook, you gotta be careful.

There'd be enough juice going through there

to kill an elephant.

It'll fry you like a cheeseburger.

- Copy that. - Hey, Willard.

Make sure that generator is working.

[PLAYING HIGH-PITCHED NOTE]

I hear them coming.

Hurry up!

I'm hurrying as fast as I can.

We should go upstairs and make sure all the windows are closed and locked.

W-Wait.

Wait till they give you the signal.

I was just testing.

[SCOFFS]

THORNE: Willard, can you hear me?

Loud and clear.

Wait for the signal.

Willard,

when I saw "now," hit the juice.

Hit the juice?

[REVVING]

Cut the power! Cut the power!

Sorry, my bad.

Idiot.

[GRUNTS]

Rook, what are we gonna do about her?

I'll take her out and bury her.

You can't take her out there and bury her.

With the shrews out there?

Listen, take her out,

but get back here as quick as possible, you know.

I think the shrews will take care of the rest of it.

I'll see to it.

[PLAYING HIGH-PITCHED NOTE]

Come home to papa.

[SQUEAKING]

[LAUGHING]

ROOK: It's time you told us, Thorne.

It's time you told everybody.

THORNE: Well...

Here's the payroll money... What's left of it.

God help me.

I never thought that money would ever bring me back here.

Back to hell.

I came to this island about, uh, 50 years ago,

I was bringing some supplies to these scientists.

I'm Doctor Craig's.

Thorne Sherman.

I have your supplies aboard.

THORNE: And they were messing around with some sort of crazy idea

about fixing the population explosion.

And this one scientist, Jerry,

he was injecting growth hormones or something

into these little critters, and they were shrews.

I don't know, he must have miscalculated or something,

and they, and these shrews started to grow.

And they got bigger and bigger and bigger.

And they got big as dogs.

I lost...

my first mate then.

Rook.

He was a good man.

You always called me Rook.

Yeah, I did.

[CHUCKLES]

You don't look nothing like him.

Well, then why do you call me that?

I don't know. He was my best friend.

Like you.

I just don't know why...

I ever put him in harm's way.

Now I have to wake up every day thinking maybe...

I got my best friend killed.

[MACHINE DYING DOWN]

Bad news. The generator has no gas. We're out.

ROOK: Well, there's plenty more on the boat.

- Thorne, you and I could go... - Whoa, whoa, whoa.

What did you just say?

Thorne and you? No, no, no.

We wouldn't get 50 yards before those things start tearing us apart.

Somebody's gotta go

or we're all gonna end up shrew bait.

Well, ah, only a blithering idiot would go out there.

I'll do it.

And Lenora's going with me.

Lenora? [STAMMERING]

There's no way I'm taking a chance with those things.

Life is a gamble, my dear.

That's why your scripts are so good.

Oh, thanks.

You've gotta live it...

to write it, right?

Right.

Willard, those things will kill you before you get 50 yards.

I don't think so.

They don't hunt when they're feeding.

We put Stella's body out there, and now it's gone.

I figure somebody called lunch.

THORNE: If you two get to the boat, which you won't,

don't you take it.

Every boat needs a captain.

You're the captain.

Get that door closed.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

[KILLER SHREWS SQUEALING]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

Did you get the footage?

We have everything we need right here.

What are we gonna do about the boat? We don't have a driver.

We don't. I do.

But you told Thorne you didn't.

I lied.

Hey, you two are up to something.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Why don't you go back where it's safe?

Wha... I heard you talk to Mr. Sherman.

You're gonna try to make it to the beach before the shrews come back.

You're gonna steal the boat

and you're gonna leave the island.

I confess.

What about the others?

What about them?

Nobody's getting off this island alive,

except me and Lenora.

Well, and me. I'm coming with you.

Willard?

All right.

[SIGHS IN RELIEF] Super.

WILLARD: There she is.

Well, there's nothing stopping us now.

[SQUEALING]

[SCREAMING]

Open the gate!

Help! Open the gate!

Go ahead, honey.

You're safe now. You're safe.

For a little while anyway.

The lights are still on.

Why don't we turn on the fence?

Well, we got enough power to run a few lights.

But we don't have enough juice to fire up the fence.

Maybe they give up?

They won't give up. They never give up.

But they stop for some reason or another.

Somehow, I, I have a feeling

that it's the sound of that weird whistle.

You think they'll be back?

Oh, are you crazy?

Of course, they're coming back.

They... They always come back.

That whistle, it's like an on-off switch for those little monsters.

You know what's funny, is it these shrews

act exactly like the shrews did when I came on this island 50 years ago.

What happened?

The shrews started to attack this building.

One of the scientists, he, he got it.

We were all drinking, but Jerry really couldn't put it down.

He was mad because he had a thing for this girl, Anne,

and, oh, she was a lovely young thing.

You know, I really started to dig her chili,

if you know what I mean.

Jerry, that man was a mean drunk.

He tried to kill me, even.

Once we were running from the shrews...

He got to the compound before I did.

Well, the lunatic closed and locked the door.

All the shrews were chomping on my tail.

I jumped over the fence just in time,

and I beat the crap out of Jerry.

The shrews were all over the compound by then.

We finally escaped the island by duck walking to the water under these barrels.

I swam out to the boat,

and I got the clinch under the blanket with my beauty queen.

[MUFFLED SHOUTING AT DISTANCE]

[MUFFLED SHOUTING]

Hey.

- Sam! - I'll get you out of here, okay?

We stick by the river, we might be okay.

The shrews hate water.

Okay. Hurry up before he's back.

- Who gets back? - The freak who tied us up.

That guy.

You can stick by the river as long as you like.

They do what I want.

You hungry, boys?

Just kidding.

Hey, you know Thorne,

nobody's gonna blame you if you make a run for the boat.

You mean, run for the boat for help by myself?

Yeah.

That ain't gonna happen.

I left my best friend on this island about 50 years ago.

Ain't gonna happen again.

So why are we here?

He could have let those creatures eat us alive.

I think we're here as bait.

Bait?

Maybe to lure someone else here.

Who?

Not so much who as why.

You know, my whole life was stolen from me.

My career, the woman I loved, the future.

[SHREWS GROWLING]

Hold that thought. It's feeding time.

[KILLER SHREWS SQUEALING]

THORNE: I know where you are.

All right, your ass is grass now.

And I'm the weed whacker.

[SQUEAKING]

Can't be eaten. I can't be eaten.

Shh. Quiet now, quiet. It's okay.

No, you don't understand. I can't be eaten.

No. No. Nobody's gonna eat you.

Just try and calm down, okay?

[SCREAMING]

What do you got there, Jerry?

I knew you'd come.

Then why don't you have those shrews eat me?

Oh. That would have been too easy.

I'm gonna kill you myself.

THORNE: Yeah?

How do you figure on doing that?

I'm gonna do it with this!

Oh.

That pig sticker doesn't scare me.

I'll take it away from you

and cut you off too short to hang.

Yeah? Well, I don't need it.

I'll kill you with my bare hands.

- Whoa, yeah? - Yeah.

Oh. Ow.

Whoa. That hurt me.

Listen, I wasn't ready.

You ready?

Oh, I wasn't read...

Okay, okay.

No more rules. Wait, one rule.

No rules.

No. Ow!

Thorne, you're too old for this. Stop fighting.

Jerry, why are you so angry at me?

Annie. Ooh.

You seduced her. You dazzled her.

- Dazzled her? - Yeah.

All I did was buy her a cheeseburger and a beer

at the Dallas drive-in.

She hated you, didn't you know that?

She loved me.

I was gonna marry her.

Oh, she wouldn't have married you, you drunken bum.

I can see why you're so angry,

maybe, uh, 50 years on this crazy island

without a woman.

I did all right.

You... you did all right?

With what?

Oh, that is way too much information.

[SIGHS]

You left me here to die, Thorne.

I didn't leave you here to die, you fool.

You got up on the top of that building,

wouldn't come down.

Well, they almost got me.

I mean, they were chasing me when I found this cave.

It was a storage site for the navy during World War II.

And then I, I ate some of their C rations

and I... I started to do the experiments again.

I mutated some of the, uh, the elder shrews.

The meaner ones.

[SNICKERS] I got a whole new species, Thorne.

How'd you learn how to control them?

Well, I guess I, uh...

I became the alpha shrew.

I shared my food with them, finger sandwiches and things.

What happened when you ran out of food?

We have visitors.

I mean, there's always, um,

occasional tourists.

We had a family with a new boat,

and, um, some young wealthy lovers.

They were all very tasty.

With a nice Beaujolais.

[SNICKERING]

So how did you control them?

Well, you know that sound that they make?

You know that screeching sound while they're on the hunt?

Well, I learned how to imitate that.

When I make that sound, they stay away.

I hit a few different notes, I can get 'em to do anything.

[PLAYING HIGH-PITCHED NOTE]

Well, you overlooked one thing, Jerry.

What?

[GRUNTING]

What do you think you're gonna prove with that?

I'll, I'll tell you what I'll prove.

You're gonna toot this thing until we get safely to the boat.

'Cause remember, Jerry,

if we die, you die.

[MUMBLING]

What am I gonna do?

What am I gonna do?

Maybe, maybe I can hunker down

into one of these old chemical drums,

and duck walk to the water like Thorne did, huh?

Ah, no, that'd never work.

They'd never go for that a second time.

[KILLER SHEWS SQUEALING]

Oh, my God.

[GROWLING]

No.

I don't want to go out like this.

[FLUTE SOUNDING AT DISTANCE]

I'll be damned.

I wonder what made them back off.

Get in here.

Thorne!

Oh, Thorne. Oh, my God.

Oh, man, I'm glad to see you.

Yeah, well, Rook.

Is Julie okay?

She didn't make it, man.

Oh.

[GROWLING]

[SCREAMING]

Here, blow this! Call them off.

Blow it, Jerry!

[PLAYING HIGH-PITCHED NOTE]

All right. All right, folks.

If you wanna get off this island alive, you'll follow me.

Come on.

Get you, get your ass...

ROOK: Thorne is right. Everybody stay together.

[SQUEALING AND GROWLING]

We gotta get to the docks.

Jerry, I'm tired of dragging your ass.

What's that smell?

That? That is marsh gas.

Otherwise known as methane.

Uh, don't be lighting any matches.

Oh, a good thing I don't smoke.

All right, let's move. Go, go, go.

Get to the dock. Get to the boat. I'll meet up with you.

Go. Go. Go!

Here, blow on this.

Go on.

[PLAYING HIGH-PITCHED NOTE]

Yeah. Don't stop blowing.

I don't take requests!

[SQUEALING]

You worthless piece of shi...

Thorne, let's go. Come on, we gotta go. Let's get to the boat.

Listen, go ahead.

Get 'em on the boat. You know, we'll be along in a minute.

Thorne, no.

Don't argue with me.

Now just do what I tell you.

Go!

Get your butt moving.

Get up here.

I'm not gonna drag you all the way to the boat.

Come on!

Come on.

Hurry, Neavis.

Come on, run, run.

Hey, man, I'll get that.

- You got a weapon on this boat? - ROOK: What do you mean?

Something, just anything. Something to start a fire.

That's marsh gas back there.

I sure as hell do, man.

A flare gun, huh?

That's perfect.

Sam, where are you going?

Where is he going?

ROOK: To get Thorne.

I don't wanna drag you all the way to the boat.

The hell with this, Thorne!

Just kill me here, I don't care.

I'm not going another step.

Then stay here and let those shrews eat your worthless ass.

Hey, Thorne!

I'll see you in hell.

I don't think so,

'cause I'm going north.

[SQUEALING AND GROWLING]

SAM: Thorne.

[SQUEALING]

Holy moly.

Oh, you... Oh.

Hey, you do good work, kid.

Sam, Thorne.

Call me Sam.

Sam, huh?

Sam the Man.[CHUCKLES]

You do good work, Sam.

Let's go to the barn.

All right, crank it up.

Aye, Sir.

[ENGINE STARTS]

Do you think anyone would believe

what just happened on that insane island?

Well, they better believe it.

You know, I've been here twice, and twice is too many times.

SAM: Third time's a charm?

Oh, maybe in 50 years or so.

Besides, we have proof on videotape.

Oh, really, Neavis? And where exactly did you put the cameras?

Yeah.

JERRY: Get out, get outta here. Come on, get...

Who's ready for dinner?

["SHREWD AWAKENING" PLAYING]

[SINGING "SHREWD AWAKENING"]

There's the shrew! I finally saw the shrew!