Original subtitles

Request for formal Fancy Fridays,

We don't know if they're gonna go through, but if they do,

we all will be wearing formal wear to pick up the kids,

okay?

We are working on replanting the apple tree

by the parking lot,

so we can have Fruit Pick Friday as well,

so the kids can get a yummy,

healthy snack before school and after school.

And now next on our agenda is our annual bake sale.

Which I decided we will not be doing this year.

- Aw. - Aw.

Ugh, it just feels so tired and old school.

So I checked out some things and I found this fundraiser,

which looks phenomenal.

Fashion sunglasses.

Aren't these to die for?

Oh God.

You're new here, what's your name?

Oh, my name is Margaret Chang-Atlas.

And my son Nicky's in second grade.

Oh my gosh, you're Nicky's mom.

Oh, he's the sweetest kid.

Oh, thank you.

And how do you know?

You're a snappy dresser, Margaret?

Aren't these sunglasses great?

Um,

I actually think

the sunglasses are a

terrible idea.

I'm sorry?

Okay.

Well first off, I mean,

who wants to pay $25 for cheap looking sunglasses

they find in a school catalog, right?

I mean, how much do you even make off that?

Maybe five bucks a pair?

I mean, make more money just asking people for $25 cash.

Oh, I don't think we can just ask people from the cash.

Oh yes you can.

And really, I think that the bake sale

should be our big fundraiser,

because one, people love eating sweet baked goods.

Two, it's affordable with a tremendous profit margin.

And three, now kids don't have to go door to door

selling things like sunglasses.

Well, bake sale profits aren't that.

Because you've only been selling

to the kids at lunch for one week,

when really, who holds all the cash?

It's the parents.

So we should try selling of them when we're picking up and

dropping off our kids for like a month.

Come on, how much of a difference can.

Well Overland Elementary made $5,000

at their last bake sale.

- Wow. - Oh my God.

- Yes. - Yeah.

Well, if you know so much, then why don't you run it?

Yes.

I mean, yes,

please, please,

will you run it, Margaret?

Okay.

Wait.

Who wants to be in charge of getting bake donations?

- Oh. - Me, me, me.

Awesome.

Let's find someone to be in charge of publicity.

Okay.

Thank you very much.

And let's find someone to organize volunteers,

and dad's getting involved, awesome.

Okay, so I have to run to a conference call,

but just touch base with one of these team leaders here.

We'll execute a plan and touch base next week,

okay, (indistinct).

Oh my Gosh, this is going to be really exciting, right?

♪ Too much of my mind ♪

♪ Too much like to do and the way to make it right ♪

♪ Too much on the surface ♪

♪ Too much on the ground ♪

♪ Too much to be handled and too much to be found ♪

Okay.

♪ No one ever tells you, no one ever says ♪

♪ Just how hard it is to make it to the end ♪

♪ No one never knows, walk the walkie-walk ♪

♪ No one else can do it like you do ♪

♪ Well, no one does ♪

♪ Oh-oh-ohoh-oh ♪

Okay.

♪ Woh-oh-oh-ohoh-oh-oh ♪

I can control how I feel and I choose to feel peace.

I can control how I feel

and I choose to feel peace.

♪ Try to get my breath ♪

♪ Try to try again. ♪

♪ Try to make it better ♪

♪ To try to make it end ♪

♪ Try to get together ♪

♪ Try to make it fit ♪

♪ Try to mix the colors ♪

♪ Let the peaces spin, yeah ♪

Call office.

Calling office.

It's Eugene Sullivan

from the (indistinct) office,

along with Leslie Keeper.

Good morning.

Just so everyone knows,

we have a (indistinct) Los Angeles,

at Houston offices also on board this call.

I'll try to keep it short.

Oh, shit, shit, shit.

Yes, so, I'll just (indistinct).

So this is all your paperwork

for your mortgage refi and the $35 application fee.

So the total. - Uh.

The loan guy said there wasn't gonna be an application fee.

Are you, you sure?

'Cause I, usually there's.

Can I talk to your manager?

Because I know he said there wasn't going to be a fee

otherwise I would've gone somewhere else.

Actually,

I am the manager.

You know what?

I'll just waive the fee.

Okay?

As long as you promise to fill out a positive survey for us,

the rating, or seven or higher.

Okay, um.

If you wanna just leave your credit card,

I'll just finish up here and meet you up at the lobby.

Okay, here's your card back,

and there's your loan information.

Thanks.

Hello.

Roy, hey.

Oh hi, Margaret.

Hey, can you hear me?

Sounds like we have a bad connection or something, hello?

Yeah, yeah, I could hear you.

Is something going on with Dad?

Is he sick or something?

I don't know, I haven't talked to Mom and Dad in months.

Okay, What about Larry?

I talked to him last week,

but he didn't say anything about Dad.

All right, check it out.

Vintage metal lunchbox.

$30.

Give me a break.

These you can get released with Thermoses.

15 tops.

It's vintage metal, Aaron.

How am I gonna pay rent selling it to you for $15?

You live at your parents' house.

So the rent plea doesn't really make any sense.

25.

25?

25, I know you can sell it for 35.

I run a,

fine, 25.

Yes.

So,

you ever gonna sell me that

Boba Fett prototype figure?

That Boba Fett figure is my most valuable

Infinity stone in my gauntlet of action figures.

And it's not for sale.

Just for shits, um.

How much you want it for?

Give you a couple thousand for it.

No, I'm not selling that thing

for less than eight grand.

- Eight? - Eight.

Good luck with that.

Margaret.

Hey, what's going on with Dad?

Huh?

Dude, these are all loose figures.

I (indistinct).

What, What do you mean what's up with Dad?

Well, I just heard from Casey that

Dad might be sick in some way?

Oh yeah, that.

What?

Okay, so I could give you five for this Donatello

and 10 for this Mego super fun guy.

Uh, no, I know they're loose figures,

but they're hella rare.

Have you talked to Dad lately?

Why would I talk to Dad?

You know, I don't talk to Dad.

What is going on Larry?

Well, he's just been a little down since he got laid off.

What, Dad got laid off?

Yeah, I mean he got laid off a couple months ago.

I mean, yeah, I think it kind of blindsided him.

He said he wanted to work until he was 80 or whatever.

But yeah, he's just been a little mopey around the house,

I mean, that's about it.

What does that mean, mopey, Larry?

Oh, hang on, I gotta go, all right, I'll call you back.

Nope, Larry, Larry do not.

Oh.

Why does this Lion Magazord smell so weird?

Right, so I got that at a garage sale

and I found it inside a cat's litter box.

Hello.

Hi Mom.

Oh, Margaret.

So nice to hear from you after six months.

Okay, I'm sorry, It's just been crazy with work and Nicky.

Hey Mom, is Dad sick or something?

Oh, he fine.

Just a little sad.

He sit around for a month or so.

He need to walk around a little.

Then he feel okay.

Start yelling at people again.

What do you mean a month or so?

Mom, that's not normal.

Has he seen a doctor?

Yeah,

I tell him every day.

Larry tell him, your Aunt Jenny tell him he.

He doesn't listen.

Hey, maybe you'll come up and talk to him, huh?

And bring Nicky.

I haven't seen my half-breed grandson, I miss him.

Okay, Mom, I told you Nicky is in school,

he's just gonna have to wait until Thanksgiving

to see his racist grandparents.

Yeah, Margaret.

Okay, Mom, back to Dad, can you?

So she hangs up on me and now I still don't know

what's going on with my dad.

Uh-huh, yeah, well, you know,

I'm sure that's, you know, not,

why are you filing your toes?

I always file my toenails.

No you don't.

Yes I do.

No, you only file on your toes

when you're freaking out about your dad.

Ooh, nice shot baby.

I'm not freaking out.

Why should I care what happens to him?

Who's gonna take care of whatever's going on up there,

if not you?

Whatever.

You know you have to go up there, right?

Are you freaking kidding me?

No, I don't have to do anything Jeff.

Plus I have the big Kellogg's project deadline.

Yeah, and you're gonna absolutely crush that.

But you still kinda have to go up there.

Okay, that's easy for you to say

because you like going to see your parents,

'cause your parents are nice,

they're not raging psychopaths.

When I go home, Jeff, there's yelling, there's brow beating.

It's like walking into a house full of rabid zombie dogs,

and I don't have a sought off shotgun to protect myself.

So please, Jeff, gimme a small fucking break.

Mommy, did you say the F word?

Oh no, everything's okay, Nicky.

Is Mommy freaking out?

No, no, Mommy's fine.

I don't know where you got that.

You know not to use the F word, right?

Yes.

Okay.

See you in a minute. - See you in a minute.

Hmm.

All right.

You're right.

I will go.

But you're coming with me.

The fuck that's happening.

Wait, what?

Why do I have to go?

Because Larry's obviously useless.

And if I go there alone,

I will either have a nervous breakdown

or I will kill Mom and Dad,

neither of which is optimal.

I can't deal with them right now,

I have work and

Sherry's divorcing me.

Oh,

she's finally doing that, huh?

What?

What does that mean?

She told you?

No, no, I just mean,

look, we all just kind of figured.

Figured?

Figured what?

When was someone to tell me?

Okay, look, let's discuss this later, okay?

No, I cannot deal with this right now, okay?

There's no way I'm going up there.

Oh, you're going.

Not going, all right?

If I want abuse like that,

I would just stick my neck with needles.

You're going.

Not going.

You're going.

Not going.

You're going.

Not going.

God damn it, these rental cars are germ farms.

Pretty sure someone sneezed all over this thing.

How do you function in society

if you can't get into a car?

Oh my, a black light,

would you put that thing away?

Okay, fine, relax.

What are you moonlighting for CSI?

Oh God, where is my phone?

You still carry that thing around?

Yeah.

This is the same cube I use

when I'm on the junior high academic Olympics.

25.3 seconds.

Mm-hmm.

Hey, so you haven't seen Mom or Dad

since Thanksgiving neither, right?

You wasted time with a company nobody ever heard of.

It's called a startup Dad.

And I believe in what they're doing.

And your hippy musician husband make no money either.

That means your kid will not be going to good school,

and he's gonna be a failure just like you.

And look at the way you dress,

like a two bit Bangkok call girl.

Daddy,

is Mommy a call girl?

No, son,

not last time I checked.

You left Jeff alone, that's cold.

What?

I wasn't gonna just sit there

and listen to any more of Dad's bullshit.

Yeah, I mean you were kind of going through a ho phase.

What?

A ho phase, I was wearing an eyeliner.

Why do you even come home for Thanksgiving anymore?

Because if I don't, I would never see you or Larry.

Oh, you know, it's a good thing you left early?

The next day when Sherry's parents were over.

Holy crap, is Sherry's Mom okay?

I think so.

And the facial bruising hasn't cleared up.

Oh my God.

My God, Dad's the reason why Sherry left.

He pushed her away.

Why are we even trying to get him help?

I don't know.

Hello?

Mom?

Mom. - Ah.

Oh.

How you get in the house?

Door's open.

We rang like three times.

Uh, I thought Larry answer.

So you guys finally visit, huh?

It's been so long.

I thought maybe you two get sick and die (laughs).

Oh, Roy, you get fat.

Fine, Mom.

You need to exercise.

Try bike.

Or try diet, like that Black American Idol guy.

He very thin now.

Talking about Randy Jackson?

He got his stomach stapled.

That's good, try that.

I'll be in my room.

Yeah, I think I will be too.

Margaret.

Where your hybrid Obama son, huh?

I want him to give grandma big kiss.

Mom. I told you Nicky's not coming,

he has school.

Oh.

Yeah.

Hi,

I'm Margaret.

Sophie's daughter.

This is my friend from church, Shao Li.

He on work visa from China.

Very nice boy.

He play in Christian rock band.

Jesus Rock.

Yeah.

What kind of work do you do?

Walmart,

jewelry department.

Huh.

Walmart has a jewelry department?

Oh yeah,

Yeah.

Larry.

Larry.

Okay, Newport, we're coming around,

we're gonna attack them from the back,

Boomhalak, I need you to cover me, all right?

What?

No, no, no.

I'm telling,

listen to me,

tell your Mom,

tell your Mom dinner can wait, okay?

We have to kill these assholes.

Oh shit, I see him, I see him.

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit,

God damn it.

You asshole.

Do you know how long I've been waiting to kill those guys?

Good to see you too, bro.

Do you have the money you owe me?

God, shut up.

I told you it's gonna take me some time to pay you back.

I see that you're working on it.

You're gonna rob an online bank

with you're mad Overwatch shooting skills.

I'll pay you back.

Well, when's it gonna start, bro?

It's been like two years.

I can't use that money when I'm dead.

All right, you wanna know where your money is?

Yeah.

What?

What are you pointing at?

Hello?

The Star Wars figure?

You mean that thing that looks

like a Stormtrooper got peed on?

No, you idiot.

That's Boba Fett.

It's not Boba Fett.

Boba Fett's like blue and got a little like backpack thing.

You think I don't know what Boba Fett looks like?

Because I do.

All right?

That's a prototype.

It's like, it's like a test figure.

All right?

It's super rare.

This is a wax model of a Bubba Fett figure

in a a 1985 Saturday morning Star Wars cartoon.

I got it from this dealer who was going out of business

and he didn't know what he had.

Are you serious?

I know,

pretty sweet, right?

You spent my money on a dumb ass toy

that you can't even play with?

See?

God, I knew you wouldn't understand.

This isn't the figure that you play with, Roy.

Yeah, that's abundantly clear to anyone,

unless you're blind, Larry.

Okay, whatever.

It's rare, it's gonna sell.

You're gonna get your money back, all right?

Get off my dick.

Dude, I was gonna go to Maui with that money.

Well it's not like you have anyone to go with now.

Seriously, Larry?

Hey, Larry.

Hey, Margaret.

Wow.

You have a Dragon Ball Z shirt, what are you,

a kid extra large now?

It's GT.

Oh GT. Who?

I bet he got some Muppet underwear on too.

Ha-ha, yeah.

Remember those?

- Show us. - Show us.

Show us your underwear.

Are you guys done yet?

'Cause it's getting really old.

Oh, come on, relax.

So what, is Dad out or something right now?

He's usually yelling at somebody about something by now.

Oh no, he is around.

It's just his room got so full of his crap

that he moved into your room.

What? Mm-hmm.

Where the hell am I supposed to sleep?

I don't know.

Maybe now you should sleep in his room.

You just have to clean up all the crap

that's blocking access to the bed.

Good luck with that.

Great.

Just great.

Get my money, Larry.

Stinks in here.

That's fair.

Hey Dad?

Huh?

Oh, Margaret.

How you doing?

I'm fine.

You've been in here all day?

I don't know.

Do you want us to bring you something, Dad?

We can bring you some dinner or.

No.

Are you sure?

We can bring you some.

No, it's okay.

I'm fine.

Hey Dad,

I'm thinking that we should maybe take you to a doctor.

Why?

I don't know,

I mean, doesn't it bother you

just laying around here doing nothing all day?

Okay.

All right, well maybe we can talk about it later, Dad.

,

Hey, you need some money for dinner?

Here, take some money. - What?

No.

No, no, no.

Here take some money.

- Nope. - Nope we're good.

- We're good, that's okay. - We got it.

Okay, thank you.

Jesus, Larry, why didn't you tell us earlier

he was like this?

Yeah, he's looking like freaking Chinese Gollum in there.

And the freakiest part is.

He offered us money.

Yeah.

But it's pretty great though, right?

What?

Oh come on, like Dad never gave us

any allowance when we were kids.

Now he just hands me cash

and tells me to go get food.

Larry, Dad laying around all day like The Walking Dead

means something is wrong.

Wrong for who?

Yeah, Margaret,

your father fine.

He just need more time to feel better.

He just a little sad.

Yeah.

He's just a little sad.

Yeah.

I mean, I mean he's been getting a little bit better,

I mean, he eats stuff now.

He's much easier to get along with now.

Right?

Oh, oh, oh, look.

What?

What are you doing?

I'm opening my mouth the whole way.

I think Dad was like stressing me out so much before

that my jaw just clenched up,

and now I can eat sandwiches again.

Look, no more pile and pile of newspaper and magazine

'cause he want to keep,

I throw them all away.

Gone.

You guys are unbelievable.

He never let me repaint breakfast room.

Now he don't care.

So me and Shao Li, we go to Benjamin Moore store?

Pick out new color.

Okay, fine.

Things are a little easier around here,

but he still needs to be seen by a doctor.

I tell him every day,

"Hey, you go see doctor",

but he's so stubborn.

Yeah, she's right.

And also I tried pulling him out of bed,

he kicked me in the balls.

Like, how do we help somebody

that doesn't wanna help themselves?

Yeah, I don't talk anymore.

I go to store with with Shao Li.

Bye,

Shao Li (speaks foreign language),

yeah,

come on.

Okay, Jesus.

Okay, who wants to eat?

Oh, what are we gonna do about dad, guys?

I need to get back to work like now.

Oh, so we're not sticking with the

do-nothing-and-leaving-Dad-to-be-quiet-and-nice plan?

No,

we need to brainstorm ideas for a plan of action

and then move forward with purpose, okay?

Any ideas here?

Anyone?

Oh, oh, Gordon is a psychiatrist

and he still lives around here.

Gordon,

he's that guy who used the Snoop Dogg song

to ask you out to prom, right?

Yeah, he changed the words, it was cute.

Okay, great.

Let's go get some food.

Who's paying?

I can ask Dad for money if you want.

No.

Sure?

- Yeah. - Jesus.

Hi, Aunt Jenny.

What a nice surprise,

all of you're here.

Your mom gone?

Okay, I'll stay then.

Hi Roy.

Hi Aunt Jenny.

How is Sherry?

Did you have kids yet?

Oh, not yet.

She's fine.

Good.

No, I'll make you some of my (indistinct).

You've always loved that.

My God,

there's nowhere around my neighborhood

with sticky rice like yours.

Roy, I don't believe you,

but you're probably right.

Hey, Aunt Jenny.

Oh, hi Margaret.

It's nice to see you guys here.

You come here to help your dad?

Yeah, we're trying.

Yeah, that's good.

If I were you, I'd probably not wait, what,

two, three months to come help.

But that's just me.

I can only stay a few more days

before I fly to back to Denver.

But I'll tell you, I'd never seen your papa like this.

He always had so much energy, so many things to do.

Maybe if his kids are around more, he wouldn't get so sad.

Actually, I've been here.

Yeah, but, you know,

it's you.

Hey Aunt Jenny, just give us a break.

I mean, you know how hard it is to get along with Dad.

Yes, Margaret,

getting along with you is so important.

You know what?

I don't always get along with your father either,

but at least he eats my food.

So I keep bringing back.

Hey, Aunt Jenny,

has he ever called you a Bangkok whore?

No?

Just me?

You know, I don't get it with Aunt Jenny,

why does she hate me so much?

I don't know.

I remember she was so nice to me as a kid,

and then all of a sudden, one day

she's super snooty to me.

Let me.

What are you doing?

What?

What are you doing?

I'm cutting your food.

Oh, sorry.

This is what I do for Nicky.

But doesn't it make it easier when I precut

Margaret.

Your meat like this. - Margaret.

In little bite size pieces?

I know how to eat.

I don't know if you do.

All right.

Whoa.

What?

It's a lot of food.

Is it?

Respect.

You gonna eat all that?

Yeah.

There's like a whole fish on your plates.

Look at all these (indistinct) I got.

It's like 18 pig knuckles.

Whatever, shut up, let me eat.

It's not 18 pig knuckles.

It's a little bit above average.

Three pig knuckles,

it's just pieces.

You know what's so weird?

It's when we came home and I saw Dad in my room

all zombie-like,

I didn't feel anything.

I know I was like,

thinking, wow, he lost a lot of weight, but

I didn't feel sad, I didn't feel scared,

it was like

nothing.

And that's not right, right?

'Cause I feel like if it was you and Larry, I would,

I would just start bawling if I saw you guys like that.

Oh.

With dad, it was just like nothing.

I mean, he's always been harder on you than us.

Yeah, he was, right?

Why is that?

I don't know.

Maybe it's 'cause you did things like,

you know, date a Black guy

just to piss him off.

What?

No, I did not.

Oh, come on,

I did not date Jeff because he's Black.

I dated Jeff because he is super hot

and he was in that cool band.

You mean Lou's Garden?

That ska band in college?

It was very cool.

They were terrible. - It sucked.

He played the Keytar,

it's hot, it's awesome.

I mean, come on.

It's a guitar with keys,

No one plays the Keytar.

Everyone cool plays the Keytar.

Okay.

Dad used to be so pissed

when you brought Jeff around.

I've never seen,

I didn't even know that many veins

fit on the single forehead.

- Yeah. - Yeah,

He looked like he had two penises on his forehead.

Oh my God.

Just like.

Yeah, he was so pissed that

he didn't come to my wedding

because Jeff is Black,

real mature.

At least you're still married.

Oh, come on Roy,

don't be like that.

- Well it's true. - It's fine.

You know, I mean I didn't even care

that Dad didn't come to my wedding,

'cause I was through with him way before that.

When?

I was a freshman in high school.

Yeah, literally, you were so good out there.

Thanks, I'm really glad I've made the team.

My God, you're so good. Margaret.

I gotta go.

Hey Dad, I made the team.

I've got the report card in the mail.

How are you gonna get into a good college with Bs?

I mean, he could have done it anywhere,

at home, in the car,

but he had to do it right there in front of everyone.

So we drove home.

That's when I decided that I was through with him,

that if he was gonna treat me like that,

that I wasn't gonna have him anywhere in my life.

Are you serious?

Huh?

What?

Did you listen to anything I said?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Dad has slapped you.

You aren't eating your food , don't waste it.

It's literally being vulnerable.

Well, you know, when I think about Dad?

I always remember the yard stick on top of the refrigerator.

- Yeah. - Mm.

Mm-hmm, every time we get in trouble?

And he'll make you like,

walk to go get it.

Mm-hmm.

And you're just holding that

35 inches of pain. Mm-hmm.

In your hand,

and he would just

raise it. - Like this?

Mm-hmm.

Just to build the tension, you know?

And just hover on top of you.

Yep.

Maybe be like, ah.

Jesus.

Trauma.

Yeah, well, he traumatized me in many other ways.

Hey, Sarah.

Larry Chang.

Oh my God.

How is my favorite filthy magic (indistinct)?

How's my favorite low CP Bidoof?

Oh my God, how are you?

How was the Peace Corps?

Oh man, it was amazing.

I started off in Burma,

I went to West Africa,

Macedonia, just some really cool stuff.

Well, except for the parasitic tapeworm I got.

I mean, after this meal,

I might need to borrow your parasitic tape worm.

Give it to me. - Take it, take it.

Give it to me.

Yeah, so then I just came home

to sort of figure out what my next move is.

How about you?

What are you doing back in Milpitas?

Well, I've been back for a while now.

Yeah, I started my own business.

Yeah.

In sales?

Wow. - Yeah.

Yeah.

Wait, is that Roy?

Hi Sarah.

I didn't even recognize you.

Yeah?

I just mean, you've really,

you know, bulked up.

Well, you know, it's a pandemic, and.

I got a Peloton.

But my ex-wife took it.

Oh.

You remember my sister Margaret, right?

Hi Sarah.

Hi.

You still smoking weed?

Yeah, I guess sometimes.

Are you still uptight?

No, I think I've loosen up a little bit.

Good.

Larry, where are you getting comic books now?

I went down to the Comic Station,

and now it's some sort of Chinese herb shop.

Right, so the Comic Station closed down.

But I go to this place called the Comic Bug,

ran by my friend Aaron,

you should check it out.

Awesome. Yeah.

Okay, I will.

Listen, I lost my phone in Sierra Leone,

DM me, okay?

Okay.

Let's catch up.

For sure,

Yeah, oh my God.

I forgot.

Ooh, I don't.

I don't know how to do, I forgot.

I don't know. - I don't know.

We'll, working on that.

All right.

I'm a little rusty,

bye.

Oh, Sarah,

Sarah, Sarah.

Good seeing you.

What was that?

What was, was that?

What the hell was that?

What the hell is that softball pitch?

Was that bad?

No, no,

it wasn't bad,

It was just socially awkward.

- Yeah. - I'm sweating.

Yes, you know what?

Awkwardly desperate.

Desperately thirsty.

How about that?

I don't know, I'm just like,

I always had this crush on her.

You know, she's like this perfect mix of,

she's like grungy and she plays Pokemon Go.

And she's funny, she looks like she doesn't shower,

you know, it's great.

Wait, "doesn't shower a lot" is part of your

perfect mix of a woman?

Wrong.

I said, looks like she doesn't shower.

Much better.

Very different,

it's the oil in the hair.

You've got problems.

That gives it more volume,

anyways. - Wow.

I've always wanted to ask her out,

but she's always with that on and off douchebag,

Scott Butler, remember him?

Yeah, Scott Butler,

the guy who always dressed like he was in the Matrix.

Yeah, one time I wanted to ask her out,

she's back with him again,

what am I supposed to do?

Well, I always saw how you were all googly-eyed for her

whenever she came over with her friends.

Really, you saw that?

Yeah, that's why I told her to stop hanging out with you.

- What? - What?

Why the hell would you do that?

So you remember when you held that little nerd party

with your friends when Mom and Dad went out of town to Reno?

Yeah.

Well, I caught your Sarah and Adrian Roberts

smoking pot in the backyard.

So what?

So I wasn't gonna have drugs on our property, Larry.

I mean, what if the cops came

and I wasn't gonna have my little baby brother

hanging out with drug addicts.

So I made them toss their dope,

and I told Sarah to stop hanging out with you.

Drug, what is wrong with you?

Well, have you ever done drugs?

No.

Exactly, you're welcome.

You're a piece of work.

Saved your ass.

Wait.

Was that the same party where your band geek friends

were throwing up outside?

I think so, maybe, why?

Um,

I think I hooked up with Sarah that night.

- What? - What?

I was in my room and she came in all giggly

and sat next to me and started asking me

about my X-men comics and I.

Roy, she was a sophomore.

Okay, that's like only two (indistinct).

What's wrong with you, man?

What do you mean?

Why are you telling me this?

I don't know, I, just.

Such a dick, dude.

Dude, don't push me.

What the hell?

What? Get off me.

Okay, okay, hey.

Get off me.

Ow, ow, ow my back.

Not again.

Ow, my back is seizing.

I'm slipping.

Get off me.

This is literally the worst fight I've ever seen.

Stop it, stop it.

All right, I'm gonna wait in the car.

Stop it. Ow.

Get off,

get off (indistinct).

Come on, Larry.

Get over it, let's go home.

No, I don't wanna be in a car full of betrayal.

Dude, Larry, I'm sorry, okay?

I was a horny teenager back then.

I did not know you liked her.

Yeah whatever.

Leave me alone, I'm walking home.

No, don't do that, it's like five miles away

and it's dark out.

Leave

me

Alone.

All right, fine.

Just call us if you change your mind, okay?

You have your phone?

- All right, Larry. - All right.

Jesus, were you waiting up for me?

No, no, no, no,

I'm just reading my emails.

It's Milpitas, Margaret.

Worst thing that can happen is some Asian kids

rolling up and challenging me to game of League of Legends.

Okay, look.

Hey, I'm really sorry I went all crazy sister

with the Sarah thing, okay?

You know how Mormon straight laced I was in high school.

I mean, doing drugs to me was the same as

like murdering kittens back then.

You know?

I wasn't even mad at you and Roy for what you guys did.

I guess I was just,

I was just pissed off that

still don't have the balls to ask Sarah out.

I didn't want to let her know that I was this loser

sponging off his parents,

buying action figures from garage sales for a living.

Oh, come on.

Do you really think Sarah cares about your job status?

She like, wanders the Earth doing volunteer work

and dresses like a homeless Miley Cyrus.

Is that supposed to make me feel better?

Yes.

Listen, if you wanna ask your stoner girlfriend now,

then stop being a wuss and just ask her out.

Okay, good talk.

Oh my God.

♪ We were, we were wide awake ♪

♪ The sun was down, morning miles away ♪

♪ Armistice, call a truth tonight ♪

♪ If I'd say a word and we cannot fight ♪

♪ So goes another aching (indistinct) ♪

♪ Want to say it all but I don't know how ♪

♪ It's alright ♪

♪ Alright ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ It's alright ♪

♪ Alright ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ Alright ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

Come on.

I choose to feel peace,

I choose to feel peace.

I choose to feel peace, I choose to feel peace,

I choose to feel peace, I choose to feel peace.

Jesus, Mom, would it kill you

to use the heater every once in a while?

Like maybe when I come home.

He costs money.

Okay, so in the meantime, we have to die of pneumonia.

A little pneumonia good for you, make you stronger.

Are you wearing my hoodie?

I'm sorry, didn't realize it was gonna be

suburban Antarctica in this house.

Why is there never anything to God damn eat in here?

Yeah, Roy, why you so loud?

Being loud because I'm starving,

now I have to go out and eat.

Why's so God damn cold in here?

Are you raising polar bears?

Oh shit.

My God.

Roy, what are you doing, Roy?

He thinks you wanted (indistinct),

fucking, fucking, fucking piece of shit.

Hey, come on, just tell us what's going on, Roy.

Or at least just shut off the car.

Shut off the car, Roy.

Hey, just talk to us.

What's going on?

I looked at Sherry's Facebook page.

Oh God, why are you doing that, Roy?

Because I'm fucking pathetic, Margaret.

And she's already moved on

with some hot douchebag named David Sperisino.

He does CrossFit, drives an ATV and brews beer.

He fucking listens to Drake.

Oh,

what's wrong with Drake.

Don't get him started on Drake.

Okay.

What, I have to work out now?

Learn how to make beer and

fucking listen to Drake?

No, hey, will you just come out of the car, Roy?

Or at least roll down the window?

Will you roll down the window?

There you go.

Hey.

Look,

to be honest,

lately there was nothing you could do to make Sherry happy.

All I ever hear her saying is you doing everything wrong.

I mean, she's like, she's, she's like.

She's like you?

No, hey, a little help here please?

Uh, yeah,

she's right.

All I ever hear Sherry say

to you is that you should work out more

and be more manly

and be anybody else other than yourself.

Yes.

But you're fine just the way you are, Roy,

you're smart, you're a good guy,

and look, I have no idea what Sherry wants you to be,

but if that's not you, then that's okay.

And even Mom thinks so, right, Mom?

What?

No, I don't think.

Mom, get up here.

Okay, maybe Margaret right.

Sherry very smart, successful girl,

maybe you need more loser wife?

Okay.

You guys,

I appreciate you saying this stuff,

but it still hurts.

I fucking hate Drake.

I know.

Uh, Margaret?

Did I come at a bad time?

Gordy,

No, no, no, no,

hi, hi.

- Hi. - Thanks for coming.

No, Roy's just having his own issues.

Do you guys remember Gordon from high school?

Hey Gordon.

Hi.

Okay, we're just down here.

Oh, Gordon,

you get so grow up

and become such good looking doctor, huh?

You're probably married with pretty wife, with kids.

Oh, no, no,

I'm just mostly dating and getting ghosted.

Oh, that's too bad.

You and Margaret still very good friends, right?

You like Margaret, right?

Okay, Mom.

I think we're done here. - You know,

I usually prefer my kid married Chinese more traditional,

but Margaret, she like all kind of boy,

and we all come from same monkey.

Okay, Mom, stop.

What?

Gordon and I are gonna go talk to Dad

and you are gonna stop talking to Gordon,

like forever.

Oh man, he's really lost weight, huh?

Yeah, apparently he's been eating,

just not that much.

What should I do?

Should I wake him up?

Sure, I guess.

Okay.

Hey Dad.

Dad.

Oh my God.

Oh,

Margaret.

Hey Dad, this is Gordon.

Do you remember him from high school?

No.

Okay, well, he's a doctor

and he wants to ask you some questions.

I'm fine.

So, Roy, now Sherry leave you,

you need to find new wife,

you know, before too late.

Whatever, Mom.

I know thing, Roy.

People at church, they ask me advice all the time.

I like a Chinese lady, Dr. Phil.

But it's okay, I find you a girl from church I know,

she work hard, very nice.

I don't need you to pimp me out, Mom.

I want to get Sherry back.

Put some pants on first.

How come you never sent me up?

You have no job,

you just buy toy, play video game,

I like to try and give my friends some future.

Killing me, Mom.

Truth heart.

So how did it go?

Well, after we got Dad to stop pretend sleeping,

he talked to us for a little bit.

Yeah, I think we should run a blood test,

you can check for anemia and other stuff,

but really his demeanor and conversation shows

a pretty classic case of depression.

Oh, Gordon, you and Margaret,

take picture, huh?

- Mom, no. - It's fine.

Not right now.

Just taking picture, smile.

Ah, good (laughs).

Anyways, about your dad's depression.

Yeah.

I think it might have been triggered by his layoff.

I would recommend an antidepressant.

Okay.

I'm gonna start him off with some Zoloft,

and then we'll check in in a few weeks

and see if I have to try anything different here.

Great, awesome, so he just takes

a few of these pills and he's gonna be okay?

No,

no, no, no, no, no.

You can't just take a few pills

and hope all of this goes away,

you know, it's depression,

it's not erectile dysfunction, so.

Oh, hey, did you have to go there, Gordon?

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Um, anyways, he's gonna need some support from people,

you know, someone to get him to go outside, talk to him.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

I mean, that seems like a lot of work.

I mean, he's not gonna kill himself or something, right?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I don't think he's depressed like that,

but you know, he should talk with a therapist.

Plus it takes a few weeks for the meds to take effect.

What?

A few weeks.

I, we don't have that kind of time.

I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell you.

It's kinda a tricky thing to deal with.

Okay.

Thank you, I, we appreciate your help.

- Oh yeah. - Thank you.

Of course, yeah, it was really nice seeing you.

It was so good to see you too.

Yeah, yeah, really nice, yeah.

Oh no,

stay, stay, stay Gordon.

Oh, no, no, thanks,

thanks Mrs. Chang,

but I really should go.

He has to go.

No, no, I go make some food,

you stay, be with Margaret,

a little longer, you two such good friends, huh?

Mom, he has to go now, okay?

He's gonna go.

I sure Gordon have time to stay,

right Gordon? - No, Gordon does not

have time to stay.

My dog is really starving and I'm gay.

- What? - What?

Oh yeah, yeah, no, I'm, I'm,

it's still a secret, but

I came out

of the closet.

Wait what, you're gay?

You weren't gay with me in the hotel room

after they senior ball?

Oh, no, no, no, no,

I'm not gay, I just panicked

when your Mom kept coming at me with her

jaws of awkward moments.

Oh, got it, that makes sense.

But you know, it would be no big deal if you were.

Oh, that's really progressive, but not gay.

Okay, so then I probably shouldn't have

texted Casey that right now?

What?

Please tell me you're joking.

Casey's gonna text that to everyone.

I'm still trying to date women that she knows.

Okay, hold on,

"He is not gay".

Tell her I say hi.

We were just joking, he says hi.

Doctor now.

He's a doctor, okay.

You've been un-gay'd.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Wow, I really freaked out.

I know you.

Oh, thank you.

But you did hear about Tim Sullivan, right?

What?

Quarterback Tim Sullivan?

No, stop.

Yeah, he's a bartender now at Mother Load.

Oh, I love that place.

You do?

Yeah,

great Happy Hour.

- Oh. - We should go.

- I'm sober. - Great, okay.

So you've submitted the order

online like I told you too, right?

When did you tell me to do that?

I think it was when I gave you the prescription

and I told you to send it online.

I thought you meant

check the hours of the pharmacy online.

For a 24 hour pharmacy, Larry?

I thought it was weird that you asked.

You always check the order online first,

so that you don't have to wait in line.

The people who don't are stupid people.

Okay, when I come here, there's never.

You're stupid.

Do you think Dad really needs these pills?

I mean, guess I feel like he's doing kind of great.

Larry.

No, what I'm saying,

I'm saying that he's just so much easier to deal with now.

No, what you're saying is,

instead of manning up and moving out,

you'd rather Dad stay depressed,

so it's easier for you to live there.

Well if you say it like that,

I sound like a complete asshole.

You said that.

I don't even know how you've been

living with Mom and Dad this long.

You're crazy.

What's a big deal?

People live with their parents.

You have a choice, Larry,

and you're choosing to live

in the house of eternal judgment.

Oh my God.

It's just, it's just so much easier.

I don't have to cook.

I don't have to clean.

Mom and Dad like actually enjoy having me around

because they don't have to be alone with each other.

So I am a hero.

Hmm, why is it that you couldn't ask Sarah out again?

I don't wanna talk about it.

Are you nervous?

I don't wanna talk about it.

Or because you live with your parents maybe?

I don't wanna talk about it.

Oh God, this is gross.

So how are we gonna do this?

What do you mean?

Aren't we just gonna give him the bottle?

No, he's not gonna do anything with these pills.

He thinks he's fine,

hold up in my room all day,

like he's Taiwan Dracula or something.

We need to get him to actually take it.

Just give him the pills, he'll take it.

He's not going to take it.

He'll take it.

Won't take.

Larry, if you're so sure, you make him take it.

I'm not telling him to take it.

Larry, go over there and tell him to take it.

I don't wanna tell him to take it.

What's he gonna do, spank you?

Who knows with Dad,

he kicked me in the balls last time.

Okay, Larry, what do you want us to do?

Hold your hand?

Take it.

Ugh,

hey Dad, love this episode, um.

Jennifer Lopez (indistinct).

We've got some medicine for ya.

Why, I'm not sick.

I knew you would say that, but

you haven't been outside in a while.

No,

I'm fine.

I don't need medicine.

Come on Dad,

what's the big deal?

I mean, just, here,

just take one.

Really helpful, Dad.

Okay, look, Dad, this doesn't need to be difficult.

You just need to take these pills,

it's going to make you feel better,

eventually.

I told you, I don't need medicine.

Dad, come on, do you think this is normal?

Just lying around all day,

watching The View?

Dad, you're watching The View,

that is not natural.

She's pregnant (indistinct).

Look, Dad, I need you to take this pill,

it's gonna make you feel normal again,

and then you can go back

to making us all feel bad about ourselves, okay?

Here.

Oh, thank God.

God Damn it, Dad.

Oh my God.

Oh, it's in my eye.

Oh, not again.

Oh, I'm going blind.

Ow, Roy, save yourself.

Ah, ah.

Margaret, relax, you're not gonna go blind.

What are you talking about?

You know Dad doesn't brush his nasty teeth.

Yeah, well, I'll take some bacteria

over bruised balls, all right?

God, it's like, it's like still sore.

Is it possible to internally hemorrhage from your scrotum?

I think it is.

Do you feel you like, feeling the puss and blood?

What?

Yeah, yeah, is it growing like a balloon?

Okay, can we stop this conversation please?

We need to figure out what we're gonna do about Dad.

God, I need to fix this.

No, can we just like,

inject him with a needle or something?

No, he needs to be able to take his own medication.

Okay, I feel like we could just.

What are you doing?

I need to check if my balls are discolored.

God, can you do it somewhere else, please?

Ah, oh my zipper.

What are you doing?

Sorry Mom, I'm just checking something.

Ah, stupid boy.

Roy, I want you to meet my friend Cai Shi.

Oh,

hi.

Cai Shi, a very nice woman.

She come from Beijing.

Oh, welcome.

Yes, Roy, Cai Shi,

she is the woman I want you to meet.

Me for what?

Hmm, this is the woman I tried to get for you for a date.

What?

Yes, yes.

You go take her out to dinner.

- Mom. - What?

Can I talk to you for a second over here, please?

I love your skirt, it's nice.

Are you crazy?

Cai Shi is really nice woman,

you haven't even talked to her.

That's not the point.

She's too old for me.

Nonsense.

She younger than me.

You are super old,

younger than you still old.

She is good woman.

She help you with your Mandarin Chinese.

Whoa, hold on.

Does she even speak English?

You know what?

Thanks, but no thanks.

Roy,

I tell her you take her out tonight.

What I tell her now, huh?

I'm not talking about this anymore.

I'm not taking Beijing Betty White on the date.

All right, let's go eat now, please, okay?

Ow, stop pulling me.

Yes, you go to dinner and bring Cai Shi, hmm?

Mom, no.

Right, Roy?

Wrong, Mom.

Roy, you need to listen to Mama.

Not five years old anymore, you can't make me.

♪ RAP MUSIC PLAYS ♪

Well, they pushed my project at work a week later

because I'm not there, just great.

Why are we even here?

It's like $40 for cardboard pizza

with lettuce and nuts on it.

Okay, first of all, it's called artisan pizza

because it's handcrafted,

secondly, it's not lettuce,

it's called wild arugula and it's delicious, okay?

And thirdly, we went to your

greasy Chinese food glutton palace last night,

so tonight I get to choose.

Ooh, that looks amazing,

thank you.

That's what I said.

All right, stop complaining, I'm buying, okay?

Hey Irvin, can I get

the most expensive beer that you have?

Thank you.

Dude, come on.

Thanks, Roy.

God damn it, can't even enjoy delicious pizza.

Stupid dad.

Blame Dad 'cause the pizza sucks.

You know, Dad could just take his meds

and go back to his normal asshole self,

so I can go back to my happy life, but no.

What?

You got a problem?

She just got out of prison.

Calm down.

Sorry, I think I'm just a little bit

stressed out right now, Roy.

You know, every time I'm around Dad,

everything goes to fucking hell.

Hey, you wanna talk to your girlfriend here?

She's not my girlfriend.

Look, I know it doesn't follow

Chinese tradition to honor your father,

but traditionally most people's Dads aren't assholes, okay?

Do you know how he taught me to swim when I was seven?

He threw me into the deep end of the swimming pool.

I almost drowned and when I somehow finally got out,

my Dad was there yelling at me for crying.

Hey, can we get two more of those fancy German beers please?

I'll take one more. Thank you.

- Bring that three. - Guys.

Bring that, three, yeah.

Stop, There's a limit on the credit card.

- Yes. - Yes.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

You know,

there was just one time,

just one time that Dad totally surprised me

and did something nice.

I'll come back at five, you'll be here.

I know.

Wait.

Huh,

oh my gosh,

Dad it's beautiful.

Yes,

I think maybe you need a glove your size.

Thank you,

thank you Dad.

So, amazing.

Remember, I only give it to you

because you get all As.

Glove was so cool.

It was a Mizuno

and it was totally soft and broken in.

Even though it was brand new

and it had this side strap,

you could tighten it.

One of those finger holes

you could stick your fingers out of?

I wanted a finger hole so bad.

And you handed it down to me,

and I use it for a Little League.

It had, like, a really cool name like,

the classic, or something like?

The Mizuno Classic Pro Soft Fastpitch Glove.

Yeah.

And it fit my hand perfectly.

It just felt like for that one moment

Dad was actually being real dad.

Well, he never did come to any of our games.

Nope, it's always the same,

he would drop us off and then pick us up way after.

Dad?

You know, one time I asked Dad

to come watch my baseball game and he was like,

whoa, why would I wanna watch kids throw a ball around?

He was like, I'd rather watch you clean up the shed.

Speaking of which, that was a nice shed not too long ago,

just stashed all my stuff,

and I ripped open one of dad's boxes

and a baseball glove fell out.

Hmm?

Like baseball's in there.

Like a uniform.

That's weird, right?

What?

Dad hates baseball.

Why would he have that stuff?

I don't know.

Everyone's got secrets.

I know you got some secrets, Margaret.

What are you talking about?

What am I talking about, okay,

well maybe I'm talking about,

I'm talking about the time that we went to Disneyland

with Uncle Cliff's family when we were kids.

Okay.

Wait, something else happened besides you

throwing up on Space Mountain?

Wait, what are you talking about?

Okay, so I was talking to cousin Melanie.

Okay. - On Facebook.

And she was telling me that she caught you and cousin Bruce

making out behind the Indiana Jones ride.

- What? - What?

- Oh, come on. - Margaret.

You believe stupid Melanie,

she's always talking shit about me.

Okay, fine.

But who cares, he was my third cousin?

- Oh. - Oh my God.

Chill out, come on.

Oh no. - Gross, no, what are you,

some kind Chinese Game of Thrones Lannister?

Oh, come on. That is.

It was a peck on the lip, who cares?

Peck on the lip?

We were 11.

Oh my God, Cai Shi,

That's too old. - Don't listen to this.

I had pubes when I was eleven.

This is disgusting, don't do it, don't do it.

Oh God, look, listen to me.

Don't do it.

Cousin Bruce was hot, okay?

He was like a K-pop star,

mix it like a little bit of a basketball jock and,

oh, I'm getting a little hot just thinking about it.

Okay, someone holds down Cersei over here

before she broadcasted the entire restaurant

about her incest.

Um,

can I incest you in dessert?

Interest.

Can I interest you in dessert, I mean?

No,

no we're good, thank you so much.

We're not

fucking.

We're never gonna be allowed back here.

No.

Bullshit (laughs),

but the best, the best was what Dad gave to me

for my 18th birthday party,

you guys remember that by any chance?

Your 18th, oh good,

I was so far away from here.

It was a card, it had a winter setting

with snowman and a reindeer and all that.

And Dad crossed out

Merry Christmas or whatever the hell it said

and just wrote Happy Birthday over it.

What?

Yeah, a freaking leftover Christmas card

and he gave it to me for my birthday,

fuck.

Oh, these German beers

have a little kick to them, huh?

Yeah, because you ordered four of them,

which I paid for.

Thank you Roy, I love you.

Yeah, whatever.

So I got to say, Roy,

you should have given Cai Shi

proper Good night,

not just drop her off of the curb,

I mean, she was your date.

- She was not my date. - She was your date?

She wasn't.

Actually, you should go back and get her.

Yeah.

Bring a condom.

Oh, whatever dude.

You guys suck, I'm going to bed.

Oh, actually don't bring a condom because

menopause is the best birth control for sure.

Dude, I hate you both, Goodnight.

That was awesome Larry, give me high five.

Larry,

Larry.

God, when did she become such a lightweight?

Oh God,

oh shit.

Oh crap.

There you are.

No one was doing that, I mean, it is, okay,

a sketch comedy show around Black themes around Black.

What do you want, Margaret?

What?

No, nothing.

I was just trying to figure out if maybe

I should just go home.

Go home, Margaret.

I'll be okay.

I don't really think you're gonna be okay.

No, I'm okay, if you go home and take care of your son,

I always knew you were gonna be a good parent.

You did?

Yes.

That's something I never learned how to do.

My papa was always very hard on me.

Like,

like how?

Oh,

you know,

he spanked me a lot.

If I missed a test question,

I got spanked.

If I questioned him,

I got spanked.

I got spanked so much he got to the point where

my butt was no longer sore.

Huh.

So were you two ever close?

Actually, no.

He always wanted me to do so much for the family.

I guess he was proud of me,

but you,

you always know how to take care of your son.

You were always good with people.

Do you need money for a plane ticket?

No.

No, Dad.

No, no, it's okay.

Here, take, take, take it.

No dad, I'm fine.

Okay,

go home, Margaret.

What's wrong with you?

I think Dad gave me a compliment.

It feels weird.

I'm still drunk.

No, I'm serious.

And we like talked about his life.

Hmm.

Maybe we shouldn't get him better,

I like this.

What the hell?

Morning Mom.

Hey, what's for breakfast?

Mom, these danishes expired over a month ago, come on.

It's okay.

I get good deal at market.

$1 for whole box,

manager special.

- No. - It's fine.

No, thank you.

Hey, Jeremy Lin in Chinese newspaper again.

Mm-hmm.

Your little Nicky play basketball?

He could be next Jeremy Lin.

And he have Black blood too.

He probably better than Jeremy Lin.

Nice, Mom.

You couldn't wait till lunch to maybe say

something racist about your grandchild.

Margaret, I just saying,

Nicky knows his Popo love him.

Actually Mom, Nicky ask me all the time,

if you and Dad like him less because he's Black.

Mm, really?

Yeah, Mom,

you know what,

I've never asked you this, but

is Jeff being Black a problem for you?

You think I don't like Jeff because he Black?

I don't like Jeff because he not doctor.

Oh, that's somewhat reassuring.

Your Jeff, he's a good guy.

Well look, I know Dad will never change,

but Mom, if you wanna have a relationship with Nicky

you need to watch what you say around him, okay?

Hm.

Hey Mom,

Dad never played baseball before, did he?

Baseball?

Sure.

What?

Was he forced to play or something?

Oh no, his Little League team in Taichung,

they almost Taiwan champion.

Seriously? Mm.

How come he never told us this?

You never ask.

Ask.

I mean,

Dad doesn't talk to me about anything

except him telling me what I'm doing wrong with my life.

And if he like baseball so much,

how come he never played with us?

No, when I first meet your daddy,

he always talk about his baseball team.

Watch baseball on TV,

throw a ball with friend.

Then I get pregnant with Roy

and he decide he need to show example for kids.

Show he work hard and not try to waste time.

So when Roy born, he put away all his baseball thing,

never talk baseball again.

Wait, so Dad stopped doing anything baseball

because he wanted to set a good example for us,

even though we never even knew he played baseball.

Hm.

That's totally stupid.

Well you'll know your daddy,

he sometimes think like stupid people.

Larry, did you hear this?

Dad used to play baseball in Taiwan.

What?

Dad hated baseball.

Yeah, right?

Your daddy, he has so many big idea

when he come to America,

have nice car, have successful kids,

make fun Disco room.

- Disco room? - Yeah.

You know your daddy and I when we young, we like to dance,

he dream we put dance floor in back room,

hang Disco ball,

color lights,

have big dance party and dance, dance, dance.

Oh my God.

But then he get job,

we have kids,

he only think about job things and pay for house,

save for college,

so we have smart reach kids.

No disco room.

Geez, no wonder he hates us.

Killed the Disco room.

How's that Danish?

It's pretty good actually.

Okay, stop eating that.

Want some? No.

Larry, are you wearing UGGs?

Huh?

Yeah, I guess.

Come on, what are you a Kardashian sister?

These are for women.

Okay, listen,

I got this at Ross,

at the men's section Mm-hmm.

And it keeps my feet really warm.

Or it keeps you looking like you have a vagina.

What?

What?

Jesus.

You guys are all animals, God.

It tastes fine.

It's expired.

Always better after a month anyway.

Disgusting.

Yeah, so it's E-A-U-F-A-V-R-E.

Hey.

What's up?

Looks like you found the place.

This place is sick.

This is like twice as many titles from the last time

that I went to a shop for sure.

Hey, okay, so we are completely out, but,

you've met Larry, hey man.

Hey Aaron.

Come on, you come over here to sell me some more crap?

This guy, this is, this is Aaron.

Aaron, meet my friend Sarah.

- Oh, your friend. - Yeah.

Well it's a pleasure to serve you, M'lady.

Oh.

You know, Sarah and I were actually talking before

and she's going to Tokyo.

She's really interested in a lot of the same stuff I am.

Arigatto.

Anyway, the Miles Morales comics are coming in next week.

Okay, great.

I'll come back then.

Thanks Sarah.

Thank you.

So what are you getting?

Oh, I'm getting the,

the latest edition of,

did you want to grab dinner?

Like right now?

Yeah.

I'm actually meeting my mom for dinner tonight.

Oh yeah?

That's okay.

That's fine.

I could do any day next week.

Yeah, you know, actually,

do you know a good place

for those little tiny delicious bao thingies?

Yes.

I actually,

I actually know a couple of places.

- Awesome. - Yeah.

Okay, great, then let's do that.

Let, let's do that, yeah.

Okay, great.

Right.

I'm gonna go see my mom.

Go see your mom.

Tell her I miss her.

You miss my mom?

No.

Yes, she's great.

Just, no, don't say that.

Okay, weirdo.

I'll see you next week.

Yeah, bye.

Bye, Aaron.

Take it easy, Sarah.

Catch you on the flip, Sarah.

Really?

M'lady?

Kissing her hand?

What, are you're running a pervy Renaissance Fair?

It's called being charming.

I read Tucker Max.

Hey, whatever.

All right?

Just not with her.

Whatever.

So I guess now is a good time to talk to you

about this business opportunity?

That's good.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Ah, wait, are you, are you Roy Chang?

Yeah,

do I know you?

No.

But you have been served.

What is this?

Just sign the divorce papers or go to court, okay?

Hey, come back here.

Christ.

Come back here.

Hey, hey, sir?

Hey, what did you mean by court?

Huh?

I haven't told Sherry I could change yet.

Look man, I don't care about your love problems, alright?

But you better get out of the women's restroom

before someone calls security.

Well, you are a guy too.

Yeah, well, no, I'm just, I'm, you know,

gender fluid or whatever, all right?

Can someone call security?

Hey, hey.

I'm not leaving till you take this back.

Take this back, you hear me?

Take this.

You never been served before?

Well, me neither.

Come on man, help me out.

Oh, great.

And I'm getting hassled by the grandma SWAT team.

All right, you got me,

what are you gonna do?

Oh God.

Um,

sorry about what happened at the bathroom before.

Oh God. - Okay.

Who's, the hell is wrong with you?

Okay, well, she was gonna call the cops,

but I explained to her your situation

and turns out she's also a divorcee

and was somehow sympathetic, so

she's letting you out of Chinese mall's Shawshank.

Marg, Sherry didn't even

give me a chance to make things different.

Roy, didn't we already talk about this?

Back at your psycho car crash in the front yard.

I know, but

she liked me enough to marry me once, right?

Don't I have a little chance?

I mean, she just served you papers, Roy,

I don't really think that's a sign

she's looking to change her mind.

People,

people drift apart, Roy.

It just happens.

I guess I'm not capable of changing anyway.

Then you shouldn't have to.

There are plenty of people

who like you just the way you are.

So you need to move on

and stop drowning your sorrows in food.

Yeah.

Hey,

can we go to Taco Bell?

No, absolutely not.

You know, Dad's not gonna change either.

If we get him better,

he's just gonna be an asshole again, right?

I guess,

ah you know, after all these years,

I thought things would change between Dad and I,

but after moving away

and having a kid that

we'd be able to have,

I don't know, something like a relationship.

But God, you're right,

Dad's never gonna change.

So where does that leave us?

I don't know.

Okay, come on, let's go.

Oh, I can't.

What do you mean you can't?

My back gets all seized up from that stun gun.

You're gonna have to lift me up.

No, Roy, you're like 300 pounds,

I can't possibly carry you.

That's insane.

Jesus, Margaret,

I'm not that heavy, please. I mean.

Just carry, Margaret,

come on, I need your help, please, please.

God damn it, Roy, I'm not helping you.

I need your help.

Help yourself. No.

Let's go.

Margaret, please.

Margaret, that grandma cop's gonna come back.

Ow, my back seizing.

It's seizing, ow, ow, ow, ow,

uh, I need some Tiger Balm, do you have Tiger Balm?

Ow,

Oh God,

Just a few more steps.

No, no, you've come too fast.

You're doing great, you're doing fine, okay?

Ow, hold on, hold on.

Larry, a little help here.

I did it.

I asked Sarah out.

Wait, what, seriously?

Wow, you actually did something I told you to do?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Now I actually need to

convince her that I'm not a loser.

Oh, come on, Larry.

Get over it,

I mean, who cares?

I know I give you shit about it.

But like you said,

a lot of people live with their parents,

so just own it.

But this is not what I expected of myself.

I'm 33.

I'm supposed to have a job, kids, a Bimmer,

one of those 411Ks or whatever.

401K, Larry.

Okay, yeah, yeah, whatever.

I just need to convince her

I'm a grownup,

I'm a grownup.

Ugh, God.

Okay, Larry,

do you want to know what it means to be a grownup?

Means doing shit about things,

not just whining about it.

It's not about the 401Ks,

it's not about buying expensive cars,

it's about not giving your kid

an iPhone in the fucking third grade,

or telling the guy who cuts in front of

everyone in the line at Target to get back

when no one else will say anything,

or trying to help your Dad get better,

even when he's a fucking asshole.

So if you want to be a grownup Larry, just do it.

Do or do not.

There is no trying.

What?

That's, I mean, that's not actually how he talks,

but that's Yoda said that.

Yoda?

Yes.

From Star Wars?

Yes.

Okay, fine, Larry,

if you need to hear it from a fucking Muppet, great,

but seriously, it's that simple.

You're fine.

You're a college graduate, I mean,

granted, it's from UC Riverside, so.

Hey,

UC Riverside's up and coming university, all right?

Okay, sure, fine, yeah.

Wow, okay.

You know what?

Sometimes talking to you,

it's like talking to a female version of Dad.

Wow.

That's like the most hurtful thing you've ever said to me.

I didn't mean what I,

I didn't mean what I said,

even though I said it.

That was low, bro.

God.

Hm.

Hey, Aunt Jenny.

Oh, hi.

Okay, what's your deal?

What's my deal?

I don't understand.

That, your attitude towards me.

I don't get it.

You think I give you attitude?

Okay, did I do something to offend you?

Because all I ever get from you is this coldness

that you never give to Roy or Larry.

Okay,

maybe I don't like that you never treat your father right?

You don't like that, what?

You don't think I treat my, are you freaking kidding me?

You know that man basically mentally abused us, right?

Do you know what he went through

to come to this country?

To go through American College with no money

and still send money home to the family?

Okay, yeah, sure, fine, I can respect that,

but that doesn't give him the right

to be a jerk to me my whole life.

I mean, do you know?

I can't remember the single time that

we laughed together about anything.

We can never just like hang out or go to the movies.

So all you worry about is that

he never goes to the movies with you?

Okay.

You don't understand him.

You know, our father was very strict.

He beat us when we don't do things right, all right?

Your father never learned to be a father like you see on TV,

the only way he knows how to be a parent

is to yell at you so you feel bad about yourself.

Okay, I don't really feel like

that's helping your argument there.

You, you need to respect your father more.

All right?

He does so much to make life good for the family, for you.

No, my life only got good after I left.

He always tells me, you're the smartest.

He said that?

Yeah, he told me a few times.

But you always show no respect for him,

for the elders, for me.

For you?

How?

Yeah, like when you're younger, huh?

I never understood, it makes me so mad,

I know that how much you love to play softball.

Okay.

Yeah, so I bought some really expensive softball gloves.

And I send it in the mail,

and you never thank me, not a word.

What glove, Aunt Jenny?

I never got a glove from you.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

You got glove.

I saw pictures of you with the glove.

I saw you play with it all the time, but not one word.

Okay?

I didn't get any phone calls,

no mail, no letters.

I see you on holidays - nothing.

You, you never bought me that glove,

you just gave it to me and then claimed that you bought it.

What?

Glove, I don't understand.

The softball glove, dad.

The brand new Mizuno dark brown glove

that you gave to me when I was 12,

that you said was from you

when really all along it was from Aunt Jenny.

I don't,

oh,

that,

I never said.

Yes you did, Dad.

You said it was from you and I believed you this whole time.

It was the only fucking thing I had to hold onto

that prove there was any God damn humanity left in you.

I'm sorry, I.

Sorry?

I'm the one sorry, Dad,

I'm sorry that I even came up here,

because I thought I had some sort of God damn obligation

to care to try to help you.

It's just figures that what little love

that I thought was from you

wasn't even from you.

Because now I know Dad,

now I know for sure that I don't need to give a shit.

I,

I know,

I know I did a bad thing.

Yeah (indistinct).

I don't know why I did it.

I,

I just,

I just did it.

Yeah, you did.

Just like everything else you've ever done to me.

Whoa, what the hell's happening?

Nothing, don't worry about it.

Oh, come on, you tore a place apart.

Let's just say that what little respect I had for Dad

was actually just a re-gift.

If I stay here one minute longer,

I will seriously kill Dad.

So I'm going to the airport

and getting the first flight out.

Whoa, you can't leave.

You have to make him take the pills.

What's the fucking point, Roy?

It doesn't matter what I say to him,

he doesn't listen to me,

so why stay here and feel more like shit?

Hey, I don't know what you have to say,

but you are the one that has to do it.

Come on.

You are the one that Dad put in charge when he left town.

And you're the one he yelled at the most

when we got in trouble,

'cause he expected the most out of you.

You know, usually that falls on the oldest son.

And I just never had my shit together.

I'm like the Fredo from Godfather.

Fredo?

What are you talking about?

You mean the tough one?

Are you talking about James Caan?

No, no, no, no, no,

that's Sonny,

Fredo's the one that was balding,

you know the guy,

"I knew it was you of Fredo".

Yeah, he's in the boat.

Broke my heart.

He kills him?

You break my heart. You broke my heart.

I don't know guys, I've never seen Godfather 2, so.

You've never seen the Godfather 2?

Wow, what the hell?

I mean, that's a classic.

I don't know.

De Niro, the whole Cuba stuff.

Damn. - That's really.

I don't know. I don't like mob movies, okay?

Relax.

Okay, what was I talking about?

I don't know,

'cause Rotten Tomatoes over here keeps busting my balls.

Okay.

Dad.

Listen,

I know he's been a bastard to us all our lives, but

he kind of made you who you are, right?

Yeah, what, a neurotic OCD hypochondriac?

No.

Yeah.

Yes, he's mentally abused us.

And yes, none of us can be in the same room with him

without wanting to strangle him.

But in his own fucked up way, he raised us.

That's gotta come for something.

He needed to give up baseball

and the party Disco room for us.

Look, if there's any chance

that Dad's gonna listen to anyone,

it's gonna be you.

Yeah, you're like Neo from the Matrix,

you know, like the chosen one, like,

but you didn't know you were the chosen one

until you met Morpheus, all right?

You go down the rabbit hole and then you gotta.

Where are you going with this?

Okay, what I'm trying to say is

that you're the only one that can talk to Dad,

because he actually respects you.

We all respect you,

which is

why we,

why we need your help.

And

which is also why I,

I wish you were around more.

What?

What did you say, Larry?

Ugh.

I said

I wish you were around more,

because you keep us off from losing it.

God damn it, Larry.

How come you've never told me that before?

Because I hate you telling me what to do.

Just,

I still don't know how to talk to Dad,

let alone convince him to do anything.

And every time I engage with him, I just get hurt.

Why do you care what he thinks?

I don't know.

You have built an incredible life for yourself.

You have a great job,

you have an awesome husband,

a cool kid, I mean,

he can't hurt you anymore, right?

Hey.

Yo.

What's that?

Divorce papers,

signed them.

Oh man, you finally moving on, huh?

Yeah.

Ah, well, maybe this will cheer you up.

Maybe you can finally go to Maui

and find yourself a nice Hawaiian girl.

You have enough money for a checking account?

Ha-ha, yes,

asshole.

It's money I owe ya,

sold the Boba Fett prototype.

Aaron's been wanting it for a while, so

he gave me a good price for it,

should be enough for me to put a deposit down on a place,

and Aaron wants to travel more, so he asked me

if I wanted to work at the shop.

Plus he's gonna let me sell my toys, so.

God damn, that's awesome.

Yeah.

Hey Roy, it looks like our flight's on time,

so we're all good.

What's going on?

Well,

Larry and I are entering into a new phase

of our pathetic lives.

Yeah, I signed my divorce papers

and Larry got a job and he's moving out.

Ha-ha, it's very funny guys.

What, you're serious?

Yeah, I guess your annoying,

know-it-all stuff can make a difference sometimes.

It's very touching, Larry.

All right, so I've been thinking.

Oh God.

I'm trying to figure out how I can help Dad get better.

Okay, well, I mean, you heard what Gordon said.

Can try to take him out every day for a little walk.

How am I gonna get him of his room?

There is one time of the day he does leave the room.

Hey Dad.

What you want, money?

No,

maybe later,

but I was just thinking that, you know,

maybe we should go on a walk and get some fresh air.

I don't need to walk.

Oh,

I mean, I'll get you back in time for Judge Judy

or whatever you want.

Judge Judy, it's over.

It's time for Ellen.

Don't want to walk.

- Dad. - Dad.

Dad, let's go for a walk.

Okay.

Enough walking.

I go back in.

Well, that actually went better than I thought it would.

You all packed?

Actually, I think I'll stay another week.

Help Larry with Dad.

Really?

Yeah.

You got your kid and work.

Let us be the adults this time.

Okay.

I am good with that.

See, you're not totally Fredo after all.

Hey, hold on.

You're going to talk to him, right?

And John, you love your wife a lot, right?

All right, I think it's time

to hear your wife's secret confession.

Julia, you came here today to tell your husband something.

Go ahead.

Okay, listen Dad, if you wanna feel better,

you need to start taking these pills, okay?

Once a day.

It might take a few weeks for you to feel anything,

but just keep taking them.

Larry's gonna come in every day

and take you for a little walk.

So please, do not kick him in the balls again.

And Roy and I are gonna start paying

for a therapist to come on Mondays.

He speaks Mandarin, don't worry.

If you don't wanna talk to him, fine, you don't have to.

But he's gonna be here.

Try not to kick him in the balls either.

And the waitressing was paying me, you know.

Time to hear your wife's secret confession.

Julia, you came here today to tell your husband something.

Why you change the channel?

I don't like baseball.

Okay, you don't need to lie to us anymore, Dad.

Yeah, that's right,

we discovered your dirty little baseball secret.

You don't have to try to teach us

anymore stupid lessons, okay?

You can like baseball again.

We're all grown up and fine now, Dad,

even Larry.

Mostly.

So just watch some God damn baseball.

Ah.

Read that you need light, Dad.

Darkness makes it worse.

God, do you know that I've hated the way you've raised me?

The way that you've treated us?

I mean, I know you think that you were doing

what was best for us,

but in the end you completely destroyed

any sort of real relationship

that you could have had with me.

And you know, I have all these complexes because of you.

I need to be in control of everything

at all times or I go crazy,

like a little God damn wacko because of you.

I'm sorry.

Sorry, I don't think that you're sorry, Dad,

because you're not well right now.

God, I don't even know why I came up here.

Well, I'm kicking my own ass to try to help you get better.

I just, I guess I just feel like I'm supposed

to have some sort of relationship with you.

But God you make it so fucking hard, Dad.

Stanford - 1, Campbell University-nothing.

I guess I'm just,

I guess I'm just supposed to accept

the relationship that we have.

You know, this is the first time

that I've ever learned things about you?

Personal things that I could never have even imagined.

And it's really made me understand you so much better, but

I just wish,

I wish that we would've been able to,

I wish,

I wish that you would've been able to talk with me more.

I think it would've helped us,

both of us, Dad.

God, I don't even know why I'm trying to talk to you,

you don't even listen to me anyways.

So you know what, I'm going to try things your way.

Okay, at this point, Dad,

I don't really give a shit if you get better or not, okay?

But if you want to feel better,

it starts by taking these pills.

Look at me?

Dad, you have a house that's paid off,

you have money,

you have three kids,

your Taiwanese American immigrant dreams

have been achieved.

So ask yourself, what do you have to be sad about?

What?

Yeah, that's right,

you have no real reason to be sad.

So the only thing that can be making you feel this way

is something that your body is doing to you.

Something that can be helped by taking these pills,

listen to me, Dad.

Listen to that logical accountant side of your brain, Dad.

I know.

I know that,

I know that it's still in you, Dad.

Okay.

Well, if any of that makes any sense to you,

please just start taking your God damn meds.

Which is well outside (indistinct).

Right now with a count in his favor,

three balls and a strike.

♪ Had a good cry ♪

♪ Now I feel better ♪

♪ (indistinct) shines after Stormy weather ♪

♪ Had a good cry ♪

♪ Had to surrender ♪

♪ Only so much you seal in a letter ♪

♪ Now, Goodbye ♪

♪ Yesterday's shackles, wash them away ♪

♪ They lost their battle ♪

♪ Wash them away ♪

Mommy, we're here.

Ready?

Popo.

Oh, look, it's my favorite little half,

baby,

half sized baby.

I'm not a baby.

You always be my baby, hm?

Hello, Jeff.

Hi, Sophie.

Who wants candy, huh?

Yay.

- Hey, Mom, no candy, please. - No, that, okay.

- Oh, shit, hey. - Hey.

Hi.

Hey, how you doing?

Can I make you a coffee?

I'd love one, are you kidding me?

How, you saw that?

Oh, look who decided to finally show up.

Ah, shut up.

Hi.

Our flight was delayed.

How is the new apartment?

It's great.

I just needed to plug into my internet

and my Xbox and I was good.

Yeah, and he pretty much hasn't opened any boxes since.

Oh, hi, Sarah,

didn't know that you were coming.

What, and miss the Chang Thanksgiving circus

I've been hearing so much about?

Oh no, I was coming.

Even though you banned me.

Well, don't say I didn't try to save you

from all this nightmare.

Larry, Roy,

have you moved the table yet?

What are you waiting for?

Jesus, Dad, it's Thanksgiving.

We're supposed to be hanging out with family,

not moving furniture,

can you calm down?

I'll calm down when you move the table

like I told you.

Oh my God.

And so the circus begins.

Hey Dad.

Margaret, why are you so late?

Everybody's waiting for you to eat.

Good to see you too, Dad.

And where's your lazy musician husband, huh?

Hey Jeff, can you and Roy help Larry move the table?

Are you gonna help?

I'm an old man,

you're young.

Jesus.

He's better now, you happy?

And, wait, wait, wait,

don't scratch the wall

and don't forget to put it out on the curb,

otherwise the trash man will not pick it up.

Alright, we heard you.

So Dad, guess you're feeling better.

What do you mean better?

I was always fine, I told you that before.

What?

Nothing, Dad.

All right, so you bring your boy over here,

it's time to eat.

Where is the God damn food, huh?

I'm looking for the food.

Are you watching the game this weekend?

Can't, I have a date?

Are you serious?

Yeah, my first date, I'm (indistinct).

Yeah, I walked in on them.

I was sleepwalking last week and I walked inside, yeah.

Well, during the pandemic

I was watching lots of stand-up comedy,

and I saw (indistinct).

♪ All right ♪

♪ Glad you're back ♪

♪ Glad you are here ♪

♪ It's been so long ♪

♪ Oh, we missed you dear ♪

♪ All the ways you were with us ♪

♪ All the ways we were with you ♪

♪ You're still yourself ♪

♪ Well you act the same ♪

♪ You break hearts ♪

♪ You make us ache ♪

♪ But dear, you know we love you ♪

♪ Even though we wish you'd change ♪

♪ Smile the whole way through ♪

♪ 'Cause that's all that we can do ♪

♪ Sure, it could be better ♪

♪ Truly not with you ♪

♪ Wo-oh-oh ♪

♪ It's been a while ♪

♪ It's been quite a year ♪

♪ When you got lost ♪

♪ Oh, we lost it, dear ♪

♪ But things got kind of peaceful ♪

♪ Even if a little weird and ♪

♪ I confess, it was pretty nice ♪

♪ We found the words ♪

♪ Oh we found the time ♪

♪ Now you're back in our world ♪

♪ And we're outta our minds ♪

♪ Oh, smile the whole way through ♪

♪ 'Cause that's all that we can do ♪

♪ Sure, it could be better ♪

♪ But surely not with you ♪

♪ Ho-ho-Ho ♪

♪ Ho-ho-ho ♪

♪ Yeah, it could be better ♪

♪ But I guess I'm glad it's you ♪

♪ What else can we do ♪