Original subtitles

( arpeggios on piano )

Woman: ALBY, BREAKFAST.

- ( piano playing stops ) - Alby: OKAY.

( clock ticking, chiming )

- Woman: ALBY? - HUH?

MORE PANCAKES?

- UH-UH. - UH-UH WHAT?

UH-UH, NO, THANKS, MOM.

THAT'S BETTER.

- MOM? - MMM?

GRANDPA SANDUSKY'S BIRTHDAY'S IN SIX DAYS, HUH?

WHAT?

GRANDPA'S BIRTHDAY'S THE 13th, HUH?

- UH-HUH. - THAT'S WHAT I FIGURED.

- HUH? - NOTHING.

- WHAT? - NOTHING.

- YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT MORE PANCAKES? - UH-HUH.

WHAT ABOUT JOSHUA?

- Alby: HE'S OKAY. - Boy: ALBY!

- ( Joshua whining ) - ALBY!

- ALBY! - ( barking )

Mom: ALBY, FINISH YOUR PRACTICING.

I WILL, MOM. JUST TAKING A REST.

ALBY! HEY, ALB!

- HE'S DOWN THE BLOCK. - JEEZ!

( Joshua barking )

( groans )

- YOU SAVED MY LIFE. - WHAT?

THAT PIANO'S SOME SORT OF TORTURE MACHINE.

- MY MOM SAYS SOMEDAY I'LL THANK HER FOR IT. - THEY ALWAYS SAY THAT.

( whimpers )

- HI, MR. AMES. - MM-HMM.

- ANYTHING FOR ME? - OH, LOTS OF LETTERS.

MRS. KINGSLEY.

OH, WELL.

- ( barks ) - HE'S JUST GOTTA HAVE IT.

YEAH, HE'S JUST GOTTA, BUT MAYBE HE DOESN'T.

HE'S GOTTA.

Ames: GOOD MORNING, JOSHUA.

ARE YOU BOYS WAITING FOR SOMETHING?

YEAH, SURE. THIS, UH...

I RECALL A LETTER OR SOMETHING FOR YOU.

- GEE, LET'S SEE IT. - WOW, LET'S SEE IT.

PROBABLY JUST AN ADVERTISEMENT.

NO, NOBODY SENT ME AN ADVERTISEMENT, HONEST.

- HONEST! - WELL, IT SURE LOOKED LIKE ONE.

CAN'T REMEMBER WHETHER I BROUGHT IT WITH ME

OR THREW IT AWAY AT THE POST OFFICE.

THAT'S ILLEGAL, THROWING AWAY MAIL, MR. AMES.

HMM?

- THIS WHAT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR, ALBY? - YEAH!

- COME ON. LET'S GO. - YEAH!

- Alby: THANKS, MR. AMES! - MM-HMM.

( Joshua barking )

( boys chattering )

THIS IS GOING TO BE LIKE BEING THE FIRST TWO KIDS ON THE MOON.

NO, ONLY BETTER!

- WOW, GRANDPA'S-- - YEAH.

( whines )

( clinking )

- IT'S OKAY, CHRIS. - SO WHO WAS RIGHT?

WHO WAS RIGHT? I TOLD YOU WE DIDN'T HAVE ALL THE STUFF.

THAT'S WHY WE GOT THE BLUEPRINT IN THE FIRST PLACE.

ANYWAY, WHEN WE RIG IT UP, IT'LL HOLD 500 LBS.

- BULL. - WHAT DO YOU MEAN, BULL?

I MEAN, BULL.

500 LBS. IS A LOT OF 500 LBS.

FOR PETE'S SAKE, CHRIS, THE PLANS SAY IT'LL HOLD UP TO 500 LBS.

- HONEST? - YEAH.

- YEAH? - HONEST, YEAH.

- BULL. - FOR PETE'S SAKE, CHRIS.

JUST LOOK AT THE PLANS!

- WHERE? - THERE!

JOSHUA, YOU CAN'T EVEN READ.

COME ON. I DON'T CRAWL ALL OVER YOUR STUFF.

YEAH, I GUESS IT DOES.

DOES WHAT?

SAY IT'LL HOLD UP TO 500 LBS.

YEAH.

WE SURE GOT A LOT OF WORK TO DO IN SIX DAYS.

GETTING IT...

GETTING IT TO FLY IS JUST GONNA BE

THE BEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT GRANDPA EVER GOT.

YEAH.

( Joshua barking ) - WHAT?

I SAID, WHAT'S YOUR HURRY?

I DON'T KNOW. I'M JUST IN A HURRY.

I MEAN, I CAN'T WAIT TO TELL GRANDPA!

IT CAME, GRANDPA!

IT SURE DID, MR. SANDUSKY. ALMOST ON TIME.

THE PLANS JUST CAME TODAY, GRANDPA.

- YEAH, MR. SANDUSKY. HONEST. - SEE YA LATER, GRANDPA.

BYE, MR. SANDUSKY. BEEN NICE TALKING TO YOU.

COME ON, JOSH. JOSHUA, COME ON.

- COME ON. - ( barking )

THAT'S THE RIGHT WAY TO HIDE STUFF, AL.

SURE, BUT I'M TELLING YOU, WE ONLY HAVE $27.50.

Chris: UH-UH, $27.40.

LAST WEEK I BORROWED 10� FOR A POPSICLE.

- I SHOULD HAVE BURIED IT. - WELL, IT'S MY MONEY, TOO.

WE'RE NOT SAVING UP MONEY FOR POPSICLES.

I JUST HAD TO HAVE ONE. HAVEN'T YOU JUST EVER HAD TO HAVE A POPSICLE?

OKAY OKAY.

( Joshua barking )

WELL, AT LEAST WE'VE GOT $27.40.

YEAH.

$27.40.

WE NEED-- WE NEED NEW ROPES

AND STUFF TO FIX THE FIRE POT.

WE NEED A GAS TANK.

WE NEED, LIKE--

I DON'T KNOW-- $100.

OH. YEAH.

I PROMISED GRANDPA FOR HIS BIRTHDAY.

WELL, JEEZ, ALBY, YOUR GRANDFATHER WON'T GET SORE.

I PROMISED.

( marching music playing )

- ( Joshua barking ) - HEY, ALBY?

ALB, WOULD YOU WAIT A MINUTE? THINK I GOT AN IDEA.

- WHAT? - WELL, WE COULD WASH WINDOWS AND BABYSIT.

YOU KNOW, STUFF LIKE THAT.

OH, YEAH, $100 IN SIX DAYS

FOR WASHING WINDOWS AND JUNK?

JEEZ, CHRIS.

( band continues playing )

HEY, ALBY.

ALBY, I JUST FIGURED IT OUT. I JUST FIGURED IT OUT, HONEST.

YEAH? WHAT?

- JUNK. - WHAT?

SURE. WE CAN'T BUY NEW STUFF, SO WE CAN BUY ALL KINDS OF JUNK,

YOU KNOW, FROM A JUNKYARD.

FOR PETE'S SAKE. JEEZ, JUNK?

WE COULD.

HEY, SURE!

YOU KNOW, CHRIS, SOMETIMES YOU GET SOME PRETTY GOOD IDEAS.

WELL, JEEZ, ALBY, I KNOW THAT.

( Joshua barking )

HEY, WE GOTTA GET THIS, ALBY.

WHAT DO WE NEED THAT FOR?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WHAT DO WE THIS FOR?

- WE NEED SOMETHING TO ANCHOR DOWN THE BALLOON WITH. - YEAH.

FIRST WE GOTTA GET THE STUFF TO RIG UP THE BALLOON-- ROPES AND STUFF LIKE THAT.

SURE, BUT IT'S CRAZY TO RIG UP A BALLOON

WITHOUT SOMETHING TO ANCHOR IT DOWN WITH.

THAT JUST MAKES SENSE, AL.

YOU WANT US TO RIG UP A BALLOON AND HAVE IT FLY AWAY

JUST 'CAUSE WE DIDN'T GET SOMETHING TO ANCHOR IT DOWN WITH, HUH?

YEAH. WELL, OKAY, BUT WE GOTTA BE CAREFUL WHAT WE SPEND OUR MONEY ON.

WELL, IT'S AN OLD, RUSTY HUNK OF JUNK ANYWAY,

SO WE'LL PROBABLY GET IT FOR... 15, 20�.

YEAH, WELL, OKAY.

WOW!

THERE MUST BE ABOUT 30 FEET HERE.

- YEAH, BUT WE NEED MORE. - YEAH, MAYBE THERE'S MORE.

LISTEN, WHATEVER THEY WANT, WE'LL OFFER 'EM HALF, SEE?

WELL, JEEZ, ALBY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME THAT. I KNEW THAT.

JUST DON'T FORGET IT. NO MORE THAN HALF.

FOR PETE'S SAKE, I JUST TOLD YOU YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME.

- HUH? - OH, JUST FORGET IT.

- HEY, ALBY, LOOK AT THIS. - ( honking )

YEAH.

Alby: JOSHUA, YOU DON'T WANT A BATH!

A BATH MAKES HIM LOOK LIKE A RAT.

- ( horn honking ) - COME ON, CHRIS, STOP HONKING THE HORN.

- ( Joshua barking ) - ( boys chattering )

- ( horn honks ) - SEE?

- ( boys giggle ) - ( car horn bugles )

- ( horn tooting ) - BOYS!

BOYS, YOU MUSTN'T PLAY UP THERE!

TRULY YOU MUSTN'T. DEAR DEAR, NO.

DOWN, BOYS!

SHOO! SCAT!

BUT WE'RE NOT PLAYING.

NOT PLAYING? OF COURSE YOU'RE PLAYING. ALL LITTLE BOYS PLAY.

OH.

BUT THE ANCHOR SHOULD BE QUITE NEAR THE TOP OF THE PILE.

TRULY IT SHOULD.

- BUT THAT'S RIGHT WHERE I FOUND IT. - WE PULLED IT DOWN--

- SHAME. - WE JUST--

- NO MATTER. - MA'AM,

WE'RE NOT FOOLING AROUND. WE'RE TRYING TO BUY STUFF.

YOU'RE NOT?

OH, DEAR.

YOU'RE NOT PLANNING TO BUY THE ANCHOR?

SURE. IT'S THE FIRST THING WE PICKED OUT.

IT'S KIND OF OLD, BUT WE MIGHT BUY IT, JUST MAYBE.

GRACIOUS.

- YES. - ( anchor rattles )

- WELL... - ( barks )

CAN WE HELP YOU WITH THIS, MA'AM?

- ( cage creaking ) - AH, THANK YOU.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

LET'S PUT IT OVER HERE.

YES YES, RIGHT OVER HERE.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU, YOUNG GENTLEMEN.

IT'S REALLY A DREADFULLY, UM--

- ( Joshua barks ) - HELLO, DOGGY--

RUSTY OLD ANCHOR.

DEAR DEAR, NO.

OH... DEAR.

NO.

OH, DEAR.

NO.

NO.

SHE'S KIND OF WEIRD, AL.

( barks )

Alby: MA'AM? CAN WE COME IN?

IS IT OKAY IF WE COME IN?

- WHAT? - IS IT OKAY IF WE COME IN?

DON'T BE MISCHIEVOUS, YOUNG GENTLEMAN.

THAT ANCHOR BELONGS ON THE PILE OUTSIDE.

NOT HERE, THERE.

- Alby: BUT WE WANT TO BUY IT. - IT'S NOT FOR SALE.

IT SIMPLY IS NOT FOR SALE.

HOW ABOUT THE HORN?

HORN? WHAT HORN?

THAT HORN YOU PICKED OUT.

OH, YES.

WELL, IT'S NOT QUITE FOR SALE.

IT-- IT ISN'T QUITE FOR SALE. REALLY, IT ISN'T.

- THEN YOU DON'T WANT TO SELL IT? - NO, I THINK NOT.

YOU'RE VERY NICE, POLITE YOUNG GENTLEMEN, BUT I THINK NOT.

HOW MUCH FOR THE JUNKY OLD ROPE?

- OH, DEAR. - I'LL GIVE YOU 3�.

I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE FOUR, MA'AM.

THAT'S REALLY QUITE GENEROUS.

I DON'T LIKE BEING CALLED "MA'AM." YOU MAY CALL ME MISS PUDD.

REALLY, IT IS, YOUNG GENTLEMEN, BUT I...

YOU MEAN, YOU DON'T WANT TO SELL THE ROPE, EITHER?

NO NO,

I THINK NOT.

THEN YOU DON'T WANT TO SELL ANY OF THIS STUFF?

I...

I THINK NOT.

REALLY, I DO.

- OH, DEAR. - MA'AM-- I MEAN, MISS PUDD.

HOW COME YOU HAVE A JUNKYARD,

AND YOU DON'T WANT TO SELL ANY OF YOUR JUNK?

YES, WELL, I THINK IT'S QUITE PROPER TO CALL JUNK JUNK

WHEN IT'S RATHER APPARENTLY JUNK.

YES, JUNK IS JUNK. THEN LET'S CALL IT JUNK

WITHOUT APOLOGY. ( chuckles )

- CORRECT, YOUNG GENTLEMEN? - Boys: YES, MA'AM.

EXACTLY.

IT'S RATHER--

IT'S RATHER AN OUTDOOR/INDOOR MUSEUM.

ALL THIS JUNK WASN'T ALWAYS JUNK, YOU KNOW.

THIS OLD HORN, IT'S-- IT'S...

CRACKED UP AND RATHER FOOLISH-LOOKING

AND SOMEONE FINALLY THREW IT AWAY,

BUT, UM...

ONCE, IT WAS A VERY VERY GOOD,

PROUD HORN,

AND IT MADE VERY VERY GOOD PROUD HORN NOISES.

I THINK...

YES, I THINK

IT WAS ONCE

ON A SHINY RED AUTOMOBILE.

THE SHINIEST, REDDEST, NEWEST AUTOMOBILE IN TOWN.

- ( chuckles ) - LIKE THE FIRST CAR IN TOWN,

OR THE FIRST CAR ANYBODY SAW.

YES, FIRST AUTOMOBILE,

SOMETHING AS PROUD AND FINE AS THAT.

AND THE FIRST COUPLE OF TIMES IT HONKED,

IT SORT OF SCARED THE MILKWAGON HORSES, NOT TO BE MEAN OR ANYTHING.

IT WAS BEING A HORN.

EXACTLY. YOU-- YOU--

YOU'RE VERY VERY...

VERY NICE YOUNG GENTLEMEN.

YOUR NAMES?

- OH. I'M CHRIS. - CHRIS.

- HE'S ALBY. - ALBY.

- THAT'S JOSHUA. - JOSHUA.

- HELLO. - HI.

( chuckles ) GOOD AFTERNOON.

GOOD AFTERNOON.

HI.

NICE DOGGY.

NOW WE'RE ALL FRIENDS. ISN'T THAT GRAND?

YES, MA'AM. I MEAN, MISS PUDD.

THAT'S BETTER.

NOW, I WANT TO ASK YOU SOMETHING.

COME OVER HERE.

JUST SIT OVER HERE ON THE STAIRS.

ALL THIS STUFF, WHY DID YOU WANT TO BUY IT?

FOR HIS GRANDFATHER'S BIRTHDAY.

WHEN? WHEN IS THAT?

IT'S IN SIX DAYS. ALL THIS STUFF'S FOR A BALLOON.

A BALLOON?

OH, NOT A LITTLE ONE.

- A BIG ONE, I MEAN. - OH, YES.

YOUNG GENTLEMEN WITH 1,000-MILE SMILES

WOULD HAVE TO HAVE A BIG, BIG BALLOON,

A VERY BIG BALLOON,

WOULDN'T THEY, JOSHUA? GRACIOUS.

WE ALREADY GOT THE BALLOON AND THE BASKET. WE NEED STUFF TO RIG IT UP.

IT WAS MY GRANDFATHER'S, THE GREAT SANDUSKY.

HE USED TO HANG BY HIS TEETH FROM IT, WALK ON AIRPLANE WINGS

AND DO WILD THINGS LIKE THAT FOR COUNTY FAIRS AND CARNIVALS.

THIS ONE TIME, LIKE POW,

HE JUMPED FROM ONE AIRPLANE WING

- TO ANOTHER AIRPLANE WING 3,000 FEET UP. - HE DID.

- ( whistles ) - HE SAID ALL KINDS OF LADIES FAINTED.

( laughs ) I WOULD GUESS HE SAID "SWOONED."

WHAT A LOVELY LOVELY GRANDFATHER TO HAVE.

YEAH. HE LIKED THE BALLOON THE BEST.

HE SAID IT WAS THE ONLY THING THAT HAD MORE HOT AIR THAN THE GREAT SANDUSKY.

ANYWAY, WE JUST GOT TO GET IT UP FOR GRANDPA'S BIRTHDAY.

AH, YES, OF COURSE, A BALLOON.

WHAT A FINE, SWEET BIRTHDAY PRESENT.

IT SHOULD MAKE YOUR GRANDFATHER VERY HAPPY

TO SEE IT GOING UP AGAIN, UP UP TO THE CLOUDS.

- GRANDPA DIED LAST YEAR. - OH.

HE'LL DO BACKFLIPS WHEN HE SEES IT UP AGAIN.

HOW GRAND.

HOW VERY VERY GRAND, ALBY.

YES, INDEED.

HOW... GRAND.

OH, DEAR, YES.

WITH A BATTERY

AND A SMIDGEN OF FIRE,

OUR BALLOON WILL GLOW,

SIMPLY GLOW.

WOW!

THAT'S RIGHT.

NOW, I WILL LET YOU JUMP DOWN.

TAKE IT AGAIN VERY CAREFULLY.

WAIT, WAIT. WAIT.

ALL RIGHT. NOW MOVE OVER. THAT'S RIGHT.

THE FIRST LOAD.

I THINK WE HAVE A GRAND BEGINNING, SIMPLY GRAND.

- GOSH, THERE MUST BE HUNDREDS-- - WE COULD HAVE NEVER BOUGHT ALL THIS STUFF.

OF COURSE, NOW, BOYS, IT'S NOT FOR SALE.

DO YOU REALLY THINK WE CAN GET IT UP IN TIME FOR GRANDPA'S BIRTHDAY?

- DON'T YOU WANT TO? - YEAH, SURE.

THEN WHY DO YOU EVEN ASK?

YOU MUST BELIEVE IT AND DO IT.

( birds crowing )

AH. YES. ( chuckles )

OH, YES, INDEED.

( wind chimes tinkling )

THIS IS OUR SPECIAL PLACE. COME ON IN, MISS PUDD.

HOW ENCHANTING.

HOW VERY, VERY ENCHANT-- ( gasps )

A JN-4.

OH! I MUST HAVE ONE SOMEDAY.

A NEW ONE. TRULY I MUST.

OH, LOOK AT HIM. ( chuckles )

ONE DARK HALLOWEEN,

A PUPPY DOG SCURRIED OFF WITH HIS LEG,

AND NOW HE GOES BUMPING THROUGH THE NIGHT

LOOKING FOR IT. GO DUCK YOUR SHINY HEAD, JOSHUA.

AND THAT IS MR. SANDUSKY.

YEAH, THAT'S GRANDPA.

( chuckles ) HOW THE STRAWBERRY BLONDES IN CRISP WHITE LACE

WITH PARASOLS MUST HAVE SWOONED.

- HUH? - "HUH?"

( chuckles ) OH!

I'VE BEEN SEARCHING,

TRULY SEARCHING, FOR ONE OF THESE CRYSTAL--

OH! OH, BUT THIS IS WONDERFUL, YOUNG GENTLEMEN.

WHAT PATIENCE, WHAT BEAUTY.

CRYSTAL SETS. JUST FOREVER AND EVER

I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR ONE OF THESE OLD CRYSTAL SETS.

ALL THE WONDERFUL SCRATCHY SOUNDS

THAT USED TO COME FROM 'EM.

RADIO WAS RATHER MAGIC THEN.

OH!

WHAT A GRAND NAME FOR IT--

"TORNADO."

( shrieks )

( laughs ) 1,000 MILES AN HOUR.

- MISS PUDD? - BALL BEARINGS WOULD HELP, NO?

BEFORE YOU, WHEN GROWNUPS CAME IN HERE, THEY DIDN'T LIKE OUR PLACE.

I THINK THEY DID, BUT THEY WERE A LITTLE TOO SHY TO ADMIT IT.

GROWING UP MAKES PEOPLE VERY VERY SHY,

ESPECIALLY WHEN IT GOT TO BE MOST EXCITING. TRULY IT DOES.

( gasps )

THERE IT IS.

YES.

YES, IT MUST FLY AGAIN.

STARS AND FLAGS.

THAT SEEMS LIKE OUR MR. SANDUSKY.

MISS PUDD.

THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

WELL, I MUST GO.

I HAVE TO BRING ANOTHER LOAD TOMORROW

BRIGHT AND EARLY WITH THE BIRDS.

BRIGHT AND EARLY.

- ( car door closes ) - ( ignition starts )

GOSH.

- MOM? - Mom: ALBY?

UH-HUH. CAN CHRIS SLEEP OVER?

- WHAT WAS ALL THAT RACKET? - CAN CHRIS SLEEP OVER?

- ALBY, WHAT WAS ALL THE RACKET? - JUST SOME CHILDREN STUFF.

- CAN HE? - DON'T MESS UP THE YARD.

- UH-HUH. MOM? - WHAT?

IS IT OKAY IF CHRIS EATS WITH US AND SLEEPS OVERNIGHT?

- IF IT'S ALL RIGHT WITH HIS MOM. - YEAH, WE ASKED.

COME ON, CHRIS. LET'S GO AROUND TO MY ROOM.

- HOW ARE YOU, CHRIS? - I'M OKAY, MRS. NORLEY.

- JOSHUA. - ( barks )

( giggling )

( laughs, chatters )

JEEZ, IT'S HOT.

Chris: YEAH.

( squeaks )

Chris: IT'S COOLER OUTSIDE, THOUGH.

Alby: YEAH. LET'S GO OUTSIDE.

OKAY.

( Joshua whines )

( crickets chirping )

IF WE RIG IT UP RIGHT-- I MEAN, REALLY RIGHT--

WE COULD GO ANYWHERE.

Chris: YEAH, LIKE TO SAN FRANCISCO OR CHINA.

OR AROUND THE WORLD.

WOW.

DO YOU THINK GRANDPA WAS TOO MUCH?

THIS ONE TIME--

I DON'T KNOW, I WAS MAYBE EIGHT--

GRANDPA TOOK ME DOWNTOWN TO A MOVIE.

LOTS OF TIMES, HE USED TO TAKE ME ON SUNDAYS.

ANYWAY,

IT WAS A TARZAN MOVIE.

HE WAS AFTER GUYS WHO WERE KILLING HIS ELEPHANTS.

OH, YEAH, I THINK I SAW THAT ONE ON TELEVISION.

IT WAS CORNY.

WELL, YEAH. I WAS JUST A LITTLE KID THEN.

ANYWAY, RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PICTURE,

I HAD TO GO TO THE BATHROOM.

JEEZ, I HAD TO GO LIKE CRAZY.

IT WAS SO EXCITING,

I DIDN'T WANT TO MISS ANYTHING.

SO I PEED IN MY PANTS.

- BULL. - NO, HONEST,

I PEED IN MY PANTS.

YOU KNOW, THE GREEN CORDUROY MOM GOT ME.

YOU MEAN, YOU REALLY PEED IN YOUR PANTS?

IT WAS THE MOST EXCITING PART OF THE PICTURE--

TARZAN RIDING 50 MILLION ELEPHANTS AFTER THE IVORY HUNTERS.

I COULDN'T HOLD IT ANYMORE.

AND THEN GRANDPA, HE STARTED LAUGHING LIKE CRAZY.

HE TOLD ME IF HE WOULD HAVE HAD TO GO, HE PROBABLY WOULD HAVE PEED IN HIS PANTS TOO

INSTEAD OF MISSING PART OF THE PICTURE.

( train whistle blowing )

I MEAN,

JEEZ, HE DIDN'T EVEN GET SORE.

JEEZ.

I MISS GRANDPA.

BUT I SURE LIKE MISS PUDD.

ME TOO.

THIS ONE TIME,

A COUPLE OF WEEKS BEFORE HE DIED...

ALL THE TIME, GRANDPA USED TO DRINK A LOT OF BROMO SELTZER.

ANYWAY, THIS ONE TIME,

GRANDPA CAME DOWNSTAIRS INTO THE BATHROOM.

HE ASKED ME TO GO TO THE DRUGSTORE FOR SOME BROMO,

ONLY...

ONLY I WAS WATCHING FOOTBALL ON TELEVISION.

AND I GOT SORE THAT HE WANTED ME TO GO TO THE DRUGSTORE

WHEN I WAS WATCHING FOOTBALL.

HE DIDN'T GET MAD OR SAY ANYTHING.

HE JUST GOT DRESSED AND WENT HIMSELF.

I MEAN, JEEZ,

WE JUST GOT TO FLY THAT BALLOON FOR GRANDPA'S BIRTHDAY.

CHRIS? HEY.

- HEY. - WHAT?

LET'S GO TO SLEEP.

- ( crickets chirping ) - ( frogs croaking )

Miss Pudd: ALBY, WHAT WAS YOUR GRANDMOTHER LIKE?

- ( thunder rumbling ) - Alby: I DON'T KNOW. I NEVER KNEW HER.

I REMEMBER MOM TELLING ME WHEN SHE WAS 11 YEARS OLD,

GRANDMA WANTED HIM TO BE A GENTLEMAN.

SHE HATED ALL THE CRAZY STUNTS GRANDPA USED TO DO.

AND THEN ONE DAY, SHE JUST TOOK MOM AND LEFT GRANDPA.

Miss Pudd: HOW SAD.

OH, DEAR. ANOTHER BREAK IN THE SEAM.

Chris: IT'S FALLING APART.

WHEN THERE IS SO VERY LITTLE TIME,

WE DO NOT STAND ABOUT OBSERVING THAT SOMETHING IS FALLING APART.

WE'LL PUT IT TOGETHER.

BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SEW.

BEGIN INSPECTING FROM THE OTHER END,

AND MARK EVERY BREAK IN THE SEAM,

EVEN THE TINIEST OF ONES.

WELL, OKAY.

BUT DON'T ASK ME TO DO THE SEWING.

- Alby: GRANDPA NEVER SAID A MEAN THING ABOUT HER. - Pudd: OF COURSE NOT.

- SO GRAND. - HUH?

UH... SUMMER RAIN IS SO GRAND

FOR STAYING IN AND BEING EVER SO BUSY.

HERE.

JOSHUA! DO YOU HAVE TO CHEW UP EVERYTHING YOU SEE?

YECH!

- ( groans ) - Pudd: INSPECTING CAREFULLY, CHRIS?

SURE.

AND YOUR SHOES ARE OFF?

THE BALLOON IS OLD AND FRAGILE.

WE MUST BE EVER AND EVER SO CAREFUL.

YOUR SHOES ARE OFF?

YES, MISS PUDD.

( water dripping )

JOSHUA, IT'S STILL WET. JUST CUT IT OUT AND QUIT BEING A NUISANCE.

- IT'S STILL WET. - ( whimpers )

NUT.

- ( thunder rumbling ) - ( whimpers )

Chris: THERE'S ANOTHER ONE, MISS PUDD.

MARK IT, YOUNG GENTLEMAN.

HEY, ALB?

HEY, AL?

AL.

- WHAT? - WHAT IF WE SINK?

IF WE FLY IT AND FALL INTO SOME KIND OF OCEAN, WE'LL DROWN.

WHAT OCEAN? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

WHAT OCEAN? WHAT?

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT OCEAN?

JUST SOME KIND OF OCEAN. IF WE FLY AND GET A LEAK, WE'LL DROWN.

OH, WELL... WOULD YOU JUST PULL AT THE WRENCH?

WHO SAYS WE'RE GOING TO GET A LEAK?

NOBODY SAYS WE'RE GOING TO GET A LEAK.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT FALLING IN THE OCEAN FOR?

Alby: GET A BETTER GRIP.

- BUT WHAT IF WE DO? - Alby: WHAT?

Chris: GET A LEAK AND FALL INTO SOME KIND OF OCEAN.

- PULL AT THE WRENCH. - I'M PULLING.

- PULL HARDER. - WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "PULL HARDER"?

I'M PULLING HARDER.

MAYBE SOME OIL WILL HELP.

MISS PUDD?

HMM?

UM...

DO YOU REALLY FIGURE WE MIGHT FALL INTO SOME KIND OF OCEAN?

NO, OF COURSE WE WON'T.

PROBABLY.

YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I FIGURED--

WE WON'T FALL INTO SOME KIND OF OCEAN.

WHAT?

THAT WE PROBABLY WON'T FALL INTO SOME KIND OF OCEAN.

YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU ALL ALONG.

YOU'RE WEIRD. YOU REALLY ARE.

( whines )

JOSHUA, WOULD YOU SHUT UP!

- ( whimpering ) - JOSHUA, YOU ARE THE MOST--

OH! FIRE! FIRE! GO AWAY FROM IT!

GO AWAY! GO AWAY FROM IT!

GO AWAY FROM IT!

FOR GOD'S SAKE, GET AWAY!

OH!

- OH-HH. - I-- I--

( thunder rumbling )

( classical tune playing )

( music stops )

( music plays )

( kettle whistles )

( thunder rumbling )

( sighs )

OH...

MR. SANDUSKY.

HI, JOSH.

- HI. - OH, HI.

I GUESS MISS PUDD DIDN'T COME.

YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I FIGURED.

UH...

I GUESS THAT IT...

- AL? - HMM?

JEEZ. YOU KNOW, IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT.

( vehicle approaching )

CHRIS?

YOU THINK-- YOU THINK SHE'S...?

WHAT?

- I GUESS SHE CAME TO PICK UP HER STUFF. - ( car door closes )

OH.

GOOD AFTERNOON, YOUNG GENTLEMEN.

HI.

YESTERDAY, I--

I WAS, UM--

I WAS NOT--

I WAS RUDE

AND VERY VERY MEAN.

I APOLOGIZE,

ALBY,

CHRIS, JOSHUA.

TRULY I DO.

WELL, THAT'S OKAY, MISS PUDD.

JEEZ, SURE.

THANK YOU.

NOW...

WE HAVE QUITE A HOLE HERE,

A RATHER NASTY NASTY HOLE.

YEAH, THERE GOES GRANDPA'S BIRTHDAY PRESENT.

THERE GOES ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

WE HAVE A PROBLEM, AND WE SHALL FACE IT AS SUCH.

YOUNG GENTLEMEN, FACE IT AS SUCH.

BY ACCIDENT WE HAVE BURNED A HOLE IN OUR BALLOON.

WE HAVE NOT-- DEAR DEAR, NO-- WE HAVE NOT BURNED

A HOLE IN OUR IMAGINATION.

YEAH, BUT WE ONLY HAVE FOUR DAYS.

- WE COULDN'T FIX IT UP IN FOUR DAYS. - FOUR AND A HALF DAYS.

IF WE STAND AROUND TELLING OURSELVES

THAT WE SHALL NOT FLY MR. SANDUSKY'S BIRTHDAY PRESENT

IN FOUR AND A HALF DAYS, WE MOST CERTAINLY SHALL NOT,

NOT IN FOUR AND A HALF DAYS,

NOT IN 400 AND A HALF DAYS.

COME ALONG NOW. COME COME.

WE HAVE A CHALLENGE BEFORE US, YOUNG GENTLEMEN,

BUT WE SHALL FLY ON SCHEDULE.

BOYS, WE DO NOT STAND ABOUT WATCHING A LADY STRUGGLE.

WE HELP THE DEAR OLD SOUL.

- Alby: YEAH, SURE, BUT-- - COME ON. SNAP TO. UNTIE THAT ROPE.

Chris: YEAH, ALBY, COME ON. UNTIE IT.

IT'S STUCK. I CAN'T GET IT UNDONE.

- THINK OF HOUDINI. - Alby: AH! GOT IT.

TOGETHER NOW. PULL. HEAVE HO.

HEAVE! SCAT, JOSHUA.

HO! HEAVE. SCAT SCAT SCAT.

HOLD IT THERE. HOLD IT THERE JUST ONE MINUTE.

Chris: THIS THING MUST WEIGH A TON.

WORK YOUR WAY BACK TO THE OTHER END. NOW...

Chris: WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE.

COME ON. HEAVE.

I'M HEAVING, I'M HEAVING.

BACKS INTO IT NOW. HEAVE HO.

IN THIS WAY. IN THIS WAY.

AS FAR AS WE CAN GO. THAT'S FINE.

SET IT DOWN ON TOP OF THE BOX.

THERE WE GO.

( grunts )

LOVELY, PERFECT. NO NO, NO PEEKING.

NOT EVEN THE TINIEST OF PEEKS.

- SHOO! GO OUT THERE. - WHAT IS IT, MISS PUDD?

TURN AWAY.

LOOK OUT THE DOOR OR SOMETHING.

THAT IS PEEKING.

YES, I'M GOING TO WIGGLE WITH JOY.

Alby: AW, COME ON, MISS PUDD. WHAT IS IT?

- ( laughs ) - Chris: READY, MISS PUDD?

I'M NOT READY YET. YOU GET YOURSELVES READY.

TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF SO YOU DON'T DIRTY IT UP.

NOW, TURN AND LOOK.

OH, WOW!

OH, JEEZ!

GRANDPA!

( laughs ) YES, IT'S GRANDPA.

GRAND, YOUNG GENTLEMAN, GRAND.

HOW DID YOU EVER FIND--

AN ACQUAINTANCE WHO DEALS IN CARNIVAL CURIOS.

AND MOST OF ALL, I BELIEVED--

- ( Joshua barks ) - YOU'RE RIGHT, JOSHUA--

AND I DID SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

- WHAT IS IT FOR? - FOR OUR BALLOON.

WE MUST CUT AND SEW, CUT AND SEW.

AND WE MUSTN'T HURT ONE HAIR

OF THIS GRAND GENTLEMAN'S HEAD.

WE MUST CUT EVER SO CAREFULLY,

EVER SO.

OH, DEAR, YES, EVER SO.

( rattling )

Alby: HEY, CHRIS, LET ME HAVE A SCREWDRIVER.

- I HAVEN'T GOT IT. - IT WAS LYING OVER THERE A MINUTE AGO.

I HAVEN'T GOT IT. I'M NOT SOME KIND OF SCREWDRIVER CROOK.

Alby: JOSHUA, YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN.

WOULD YOU JUST QUIT CHEWING THINGS?

Chris: HE SURE SLOBBERS. MAYBE HE'S GOT RABIES.

- IT'S JUST DROOL. - MAYBE WITH BUNCHES OF RABIES IN IT.

YECH! READY, CHRIS?

- OH, IT'S LOVELY. - NOT BAD FOR TWO DAYS' WORK.

- OH, LOVELY. - ONE SEC.

COUNTDOWN. FIVE,

FOUR...

THREE,

TWO,

ONE,

ZERO!

ZERO, FOR PETE'S SAKE. ZERO!

I HEARD YOU SAY "ZERO," FOR PETE'S SAKE.

THEN LIGHT 'EM.

- I LIT 'EM! - THEY'RE NOT LIT!

- WELL, IT'S NOT MY FAULT. - WHAT DO YOU MEAN, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT?

YOU GOT THE BATTERY.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WHAT DO I MEAN IT'S NOT MY FAULT?

YOU DID THE WIRING. FOR PETE'S SAKE, YOU DID THE WIRING.

FOR PETE'S SAKE, DON'T PUT THE BLAME ON ME. JEEZ!

THERE'S CORROSION ON THE TERMINALS.

- HUH? - MUCK ON THE TERMINALS.

SCRAPE SCRAPE.

YEAH.

WELL, OKAY. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW FIVE MILLION THINGS?

FOR PETE'S SAKE, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW 10 MILLION THINGS?

( sewing machine rattling )

- GOSH. - YEAH.

WOW!

( Joshua barks )

( birds twittering )

( barking )

Alby: JOSHUA!

Chris: THE DOG IS GOING TO WAKE UP YOUR MOTHER.

Alby: NOTHING COULD WAKE MY MOM UP AT 5:30 IN THE MORNING.

YOUR MOTHER'S REALLY GOING TO BE SORE.

LOOK, WE'RE GOING TO PUT THE FURNACE BACK TOGETHER AGAIN,

BUT WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO WORRY ABOUT A DUMB FURNACE.

- TOMORROW'S GRANDPA'S BIRTHDAY. - I KNOW.

BUT YOUR MOTHER, SHE'S REALLY GONNA GET MAD.

LOOK, WOULD YOU JUST HELP ME HOOK IT UP, OKAY, HUH?

WELL, OKAY, BUT JUST REMEMBER THIS--

IF YOUR MOTHER GETS SORE AT US, JUST REMEMBER IT WAS ALL YOUR IDEA.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, IT WAS ALL MY IDEA? IT WAS YOUR IDEA TOO.

I KNOW, BUT THIS IS YOUR PROPERTY.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S MY PROPERTY? IT'S MY MOM'S PROPERTY.

ANYWAY, IT WAS YOUR IDEA TO TAKE APART THE FURNACE, TOO.

YEAH, BUT NEXT TO YOUR MOTHER'S, IT'S YOUR PROPERTY.

- I MEAN, IT'S MORE YOUR PROPERTY THAN IT IS MINE. - ( Joshua barks )

I NEVER EVEN RUINED A FURNACE IN MY LIFE.

BESIDES, IT EVEN BELONGS TO FAMILY.

- JOSH, COME ON. - LOOK, ALBY.

IT'S YOUR PROPERTY, AND YOU SAID IT WAS OKAY.

SO STOP TRYING TO BLAME ME FOR TAKING THE FURNACE APART.

- ( Joshua barks ) - Alby: OKAY OKAY!

WELL, OKAY.

MAKE SURE THE HEAT'S TURNED OFF TO THE REST OF THE HOUSE.

( furnace hissing )

THEY'RE OFF.

- AND THE FURNACE IS ON FULL? - YEP.

( whines )

( Joshua barks )

( generator humming )

QUITE ANNOYING TO PAINT THIS WAY.

QUITE IMPOSSIBLE TO STEP BACK AND JUDGE--

OH, JOSH.

UH... OH, DEAR.

I'VE MADE MR. SANDUSKY'S FACE TOO PINK.

OF COURSE, HE COULD BE A TRIFLE FLUSHED

FROM EXERTION.

- GRANDPA LOOKS OKAY TO ME. - NO, NOT QUITE SO PINK.

TRULY HE IS.

MAYBE HE GOT SUNBURNED.

OH, WELL, OF COURSE. ( chuckles )

OH, BUT HOW GRAND.

OUR MR. SANDUSKY WOULD REHEARSE HIS ACROBATICS

IN THE FRESH AIR AND SUNLIGHT,

AND DRINK MINERAL WATER.

UH-UH, WHISKEY.

AH. WELL,

HE'S A GRAND GRAND GENTLEMAN.

I THINK PURPLE RATHER THAN GREEN.

OH, YES.

OUR MR. SANDUSKY MUST HAVE THE COLOR OF ROYALTY.

HEIR AND MONARCH OF THE SKIES.

SCAT, JOSHUA. SCAT.

- ( giggles ) - AH, YES, PURPLE.

SCAT, JOSHUA. ( gasps )

OH!

BUT HOW GRAND,

AND MARVELOUS

AND VERY MISCHIEVOUS,

AND SIMPLY THRILLING.

- WE THOUGHT WE'D SURPRISE YOU. - AND MAKE IT EASY TO PAINT.

WE PULLED APART THE FURNACE AND HOOKED HIM UP

SO WE COULD FILL IT UP, AND THAT WAY YOU CAN PAINT.

OH MY GOODNESS. OH MY GRACIOUS.

OH, WOW, IT'S BIGGER THAN I THOUGHT.

YEAH, IT'S SO NEAT, IT'S ALMOST POUFFY. ( giggles )

IT'S COMING ALIVE, YOUNG GENTLEMEN.

A GREAT BIG, GRAND

PILE OF LOVE

IS COMING ALIVE. ( laughs )

- ( Joshua barking ) - Miss Pudd: WHERE ARE YOU?

( laughing, shouting )

Miss Pudd: THRILLING, ISN'T IT? OH.

( boys chattering, shouting )

( Joshua barking )

OH, WOW.

YEAH, ALL RIGHT.

IS IT THERE YET? WOW.

- HEY. - HUH?

IT'S ABOUT FULL ENOUGH FROM HERE.

YEAH. I BETTER TURN OFF THE HEAT.

( valve whistles )

Chris: DID YOU SHUT IT OFF?

YEAH. THE NEW SHUTOFF VALVE WORKS REAL NEAT.

Chris: THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA I HAD, WASN'T IT?

- YOU HAD? - YEAH, I HAD. WELL, BOTH OF US HAD.

- YEAH, THANKS. - WOULD YOU HOLD THIS?

WHAT YOU DOING?

FIXING THE LAMP. THE BOTTOM KEEPS ON FALLING OUT.

WE CAN'T JUST KEEP HOLDING ON TO THE BOTTOM OF IT.

I KNOW THAT.

Alby: LET ME HAVE SOME GLUE.

WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO BE?

- JUST A SQUIGGLE. - IT LOOKS SISSY.

( laughs ) NO, IT'S NOT SISSY.

ACTUALLY, IT'S ROCOCOISH--

GRAND BUT NOT BAWDY.

- WHAT? - I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING.

OH. WHAT'S ALBY DOING?

HE'S FIXING THE BOTTOM OF THE LAMP.

FINISHING TOUCHES.

- WHAT? - NOTHING.

MISS PUDD, DO YOU REALLY FIGURE

- THIS THING IS GOING TO GET UP IN THE AIR? - WHY NOT?

( creaking )

WHAT WAS THAT?

MAYBE THE SKELETON'S GHOST IS TRYING TO SAY GOODBYE.

GO ON. TALK ABOUT GHOSTS.

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN.

GHOSTS MAKE HIM NERVOUS.

SO WHAT? I'M NERVOUS.

AT LEAST I GOT SOME SENSE.

YOU TWO, YOU GO TALKING ABOUT GHOSTS,

AND 15 MILLION OF 'EM WILL SHOW UP TRYING TO...

- Alby: LISTEN TO HIM. - ...WHOLE BIG BUNCHES OF 'EM

WITH TEETH AND BIG CLAWS.

- Alby: JABBER, JABBER, JABBER. - HAMMER?

NO, I'M NOT USING IT.

I'M JUST PAINTING A FEW--

Alby: WHAT?

I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU NEEDED THE HAMMER.

- NO, HE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING. - OH, OH.

- Alby: SHE'S HEARING THINGS. - ( creaking )

ARE YOU BOYS PULLING NAILS OR SOMETHING?

Chris: NO, NOTHING.

IT'S THE FUNNIEST THING.

I KEEP HEARING NOISES. OH, MY GRACIOUS!

- ( boys shout ) - GRACIOUS.

GRACIOUS.

I THOUGHT YOU TURNED THE HEAT OFF.

- I DID. - YOU COULDN'T HAVE, 'CAUSE LOOK AT IT.

- FOR PETE'S SAKE, I WENT OUTSIDE AND... - WELL, YOU DIDN'T.

- LOOK WHAT'S HAPPENING WITH THE BALLOON. - ( whines )

- THE WHOLE PLACE IS GOING UP. - I SHUT IT OFF!

- THEN WHAT'S IT FILLING UP WITH? - JOSHUA!

- WHY DID YOU LET JOSHUA GET THE HANDLE? - WHAT DO YOU MEAN "LET"?

- YOU SAID IT. - GENTLEMEN, I CANNOT WASTE MY TIME DISCUSSING

WHO DID OR DID NOT DO WHAT.

WE MUST DISCONNECT THE HEAT. TRULY WE MUST.

- COME ON, ALB. MOVE. - I CAN'T. THE BOTTOM WILL FALL OUT.

I SHOULD NOT CONCERN MYSELF WITH THAT LAMP, NOT RIGHT NOW.

YOU MUST DISCONNECT THE HEAT.

( creaking )

- ALBY, TURN OFF THE HEAT! - Chris: YEAH. COME ON.

I'LL TURN OFF THE HEAT. I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE...

Alby: JOSHUA!

( boys shouting )

DID NOT!

ALB, LOOK. IT'S GOING ALL OVER THE PLACE.

AL, I THINK YOUR MOTHER'S GOING TO BE KIND OF SORE.

HOLD ON, CHRIS.

AL, I THINK I'M STARTING TO CHANGE MY MIND.

GOODNESS! OH, DEAR, GRACIOUS! WAIT FOR ME!

I DON'T THINK WE CAN.

I DON'T THINK I WANT TO DO THIS, AL.

ALBY! ALBY, I THINK I'VE CHANGED MY MIND.

I DON'T THINK I WANT TO DO THIS.

I'M SUPPOSED TO BE HOME FOR LUNCH!

- WAIT FOR ME! - MISS PUDD!

IT ISN'T FAIR. TRULY IT ISN'T.

WE CAN'T HEAR YOU. MISS PUDD!

- ...HIGHER AND HIGHER. - ( Joshua barks )

WAIT!

FOLLOW.

FOLLOW!

- Alby: WE'RE DOING IT! - OH, YEAH.

- OH, WOW! - OH, JEEZ!

Alby: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

I MEAN, LOOK, GRANDPA. WE'RE FLYING.

WE'RE A DAY EARLY FOR GRANDPA'S BIRTHDAY,

BUT WE DID IT! LOOK, GRANDPA, LOOK!

WAIT FOR ME!

YOU MUST COME BACK FOR A MOMENT!

COME BACK!

DOWN, BOYS! DOWN!

- HEY, AL? - MMM?

- I HOPE YOU'VE GOT SOME MATCHES. - WHY?

- 'CAUSE WE'RE GETTING KIND OF LOW. - WHAT?

- OH, JEEZ, THEY'RE COOLING OFF! - THAT'S WHAT I FIGURED.

- YOU GOT THE MATCHES. - WHAT DO YOU MEAN, I GOT THE MATCHES?

YOU LIT THE FURNACE. YOU GOT THE MATCHES.

- OH, YEAH. - COME ON, CHRIS. I'LL GIVE YOU A BOOST.

Chris: MAYBE YOU SHOULD DO IT.

- CHRIS! - YOU'RE TALLER AND BRAVER.

OKAY, OKAY.

- DON'T LET IT GO OUT. - WHY?

IT'S THE ONLY ONE I GOT.

- OH, JEEZ. - YOU BETTER NOT LET IT GO OUT.

- DON'T MAKE ME NERVOUS. - I'M NOT TRYING TO MAKE YOU NERVOUS.

I'M JUST TELLING YOU IT'S THE ONLY MATCH I GOT, SO DON'T LET IT GO OUT.

Alby: TELLING ME IT'S THE ONLY MATCH YOU GOT MAKES ME NERVOUS.

DON'T MAKE ME NERVOUS.

WELL, IT IS. JUST TAKE YOUR TIME AND LIGHT IT REAL CAREFUL.

- DON'T MAKE ME NERVOUS. - ( whimpers )

Alby: JUST GET READY TO TURN ON THE GAS.

Chris: JEEZ, ALB, YOU BETTER HURRY.

- CHRIS! - JEEZ, OKAY!

EASY, EASY. EASY NOW.

SHUT UP. SHUT UP.

NOW, THE GAS! THE GAS!

JEEZ, THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE!

Chris: SEE, I TOLD YOU. JUST DON'T GET NERVOUS.

I WASN'T NERVOUS. JUST BELIEVE IT, AND DO IT.

( both laugh )

( bell clanging )

- WAIT! - ( car horn blares )

( mutters ) NO NO.

Chris: JEEZ, IT'S GOING TO BE TOUGH WHEN WE GET HOME.

- I MEAN, OUR MOTHERS ARE GOING TO KILL US. - Alby: PROBABLY.

IT WOULDN'T BE SO BAD IF THEY'D JUST KILL US.

BUT FIRST THEY'RE GOING TO YELL AND YELL.

JEEZ, MY MOTHER SURE CAN YELL WHEN SHE GETS SORE.

THEY'RE ALWAYS GETTING SORE ABOUT SOMETHING.

WELL, THEY GOT US HERE, OUR MOTHERS.

YEAH, I GUESS SO.

( horn honks )

HOW RUDE OF YOU, SIR.

HOW VERY VERY RUDE.

( car horn honks )

OH, SHH!

AL, YOU KNOW, THIS ISN'T THAT BAD, AFTER ALL.

I MEAN... GEE, THIS IS GREAT.

NO, IT'S... FANTASTIC!

- IT'S FUN! - Chris: YEAH!

FANTASTIC!

DOWN, BOYS, DOWN!

AL, WE'RE KIND OF HEADED FOR AN AWFUL LOT OF WATER.

I MEAN, THAT'S AN AWFUL LOT OF WATER DOWN THERE.

YEAH... I GUESS SO. WE'D BETTER LAND.

- YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I FIGURED. - WE'D BETTER TURN DOWN THE HEAT.

( bell clanging )

( wind whistling )

- YOU'RE NOT SAYING ANYTHING, ALB. - WE'RE CHICKENING.

WE'RE CHICKENING OUT. GRANDPA WOULDN'T HAVE.

WE'RE NOT CHICKENING. WE'RE LANDING.

LANDING ISN'T CHICKENING. IT'S LANDING.

YEAH, SURE.

GEE, I'LL BET YOUR GRANDFATHER LANDED LOTS OF TIMES.

I MEAN, HE DIDN'T LIVE IN A BALLOON.

HE HAD TO LAND TO EAT,

AND TO GO TO THE TOILET.

I MEAN, WE'RE JUST LANDING.

AL, THAT TREE! LOOK!

- WE'RE GOING TO HIT IT. - ( shouting )

- JUST HANG ON! JUST HOLD ON! - CHRIS!

Chris: OH, JEEZ, WHY'D WE HAVE TO GO FLYING IN THIS DUMB BALLOON?!

- Alby: SHUT UP AND HANG ON! - ALBY, WE'RE GONNA DIE!

- NOBODY'S GONNA DIE! - WATCH IT! WE'RE GONNA HIT!

OH, JEEZ, WE'RE GONNA TEAR THE BALLOON, AL!

( boys shouting )

Chris: I TOLD YOU WE'D CRASH. I TOLD YOU ALL ALONG.

WE'RE NOT CRASHING! WE'RE JUST DRAGGING. WE'RE NOT CRASHING!

- OH! GET OUT OF MY WAY. - ( car horn blares )

( horse neighs )

CAN YOU GET THE BURNER?

GET OFF ME, JOSH! JUST GRAB OVER THERE, ALBY.

THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING!

( fire roaring )

Alby: HOLD ON! WE'RE GONNA HIT!

( boys shouting )

- Alby: HOLD ON! - I DON'T WANT TO GO UP AGAIN!

( shouts )

( clanging )

Alby: WE'RE GOING UP TOO FAST. CHRIS, IT'S TOO FAST.

I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS, ALB! WE'RE GONNA GET KILLED!

WE'RE NOT GOING TO GET ANYTHING! STOP SCREAMING!

( car horn blares )

WE'RE GOING DOWN TOO FAST! WE'RE GONNA CRASH!

( boys shout )

( fire roaring )

( shouts )

BOYS! BOYS! CAN'T YOU HEAR ME?

GRACIOUS!

OH, MY.

JEEZ, THAT WAS CLOSE. I'VE NEVER BEEN SO SCARED.

SHUT UP. WE ALMOST GOT KILLED. WE ALMOST--

IT WAS KIND OF CLOSE, BUT WE DIDN'T--

YOU SHUT UP, AL. YOU'RE ALWAYS TELLING ME TO SHUT UP.

NOW I'M TELLING YOU TO.

WE ALMOST GOT KILLED, SO YOU JUST SHUT UP,

AND DON'T YOU EVER TALK TO ME AGAIN.

( seagull cawing )

MY GRACIOUS. I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.

I-- I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.

I SIMPLY DO NOT BELIEVE THIS.

HOW PERFECTLY MAD. ( chuckling )

HOW PERFECTLY LOVELY.

I'M... I'M IN MIDAIR.

I'M SITTING IN MIDAIR.

I'M SITTING ON AN ANCHOR

IN MIDAIR.

( buoy clanging )

AL? HEY, AL?

I DIDN'T REALLY MEAN YOU SHOULDN'T TALK TO ME.

- WELL, YOU SAID IT. - I WAS REAL SCARED, SORT OF MAD AND EVERYTHING.

I DIDN'T MEAN YOU SHOULDN'T TALK, LIKE, FOR ALWAYS.

I'M SORRY, AL. DON'T BE SORE ANYMORE.

- OKAY? - JEEZ.

- YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND, AL. - I KNOW.

AND YOU'RE MINE.

Miss Pudd: HELLO! HELLO!

HELLO UP THERE! BOYS!

- AW, JEEZ. - HELLO.

PULL ME UP,

IF YOU PLEASE, IF YOU CAN.

IT WOULD BE THE GALLANT THING TO DO.

TRULY IT WOULD. ( laughs )

HOW FASCINATING. THE BAY BRIDGE.

IF THEY LOOK UP... ( chuckles )

WELL, THERE'D BE A TRAFFIC JAM, I'M SURE.

NO, I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.

KEEP CALM. DON'T THINK.

DON'T THINK.

MY DEAR, YOU ARE A BIRD. ( chuckles )

YOU ARE A BIRD

FLYING OVER THE BAY BRIDGE. ( laughs )

BOYS? BOYS.

PULL UP UP!

- Chris: MISS PUDD! - HEAVENS.

THAT'S RIGHT. THAT'S RIGHT.

( chuckles ) MM.

- Alby: ARE YOU OKAY? - ASSUREDLY.

GRACIOUS. TO FLOAT UPON AN ANCHOR.

HOW EXCITING AND MOST DELICIOUSLY ODD.

- DID YOU SEE US ALMOST GET KILLED? - INDEED, I DID.

( chuckles ) CAN YOU IMAGINE?

WHO WOULD HAVE BELIEVED IT?

WE ARE AIRBORNE.

YEAH. I HOPE WE STAY THAT WAY.

YES, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN,

ESPECIALLY AT THIS PARTICULAR MOMENT. ( grunts )

Alby: PUT OUT THE ANCHOR, CHRIS.

LET ME UP.

NOW THEN,

LET US TAKE STOCK OF OUR SITUATION.

TOO MUCH CITY OVER THERE TO ATTEMPT A SAFE LANDING,

EVEN IF THE WIND WERE IN OUR FAVOR.

AND WE SEEM TO BE DRIFTING OUT TO SEA.

BUT IT SHALL BE A GLORIOUS ADVENTURE.

TRULY IT WILL BE, WON'T IT?

HURRY HURRY HURRY.

STEP RIGHT UP AND SEE THE SIGHTS.

NOT A NICKEL, NOT A DIME, BUT FOR FREE, FOR NOTHING,

FOR A GLANCE OF THE EYE.

CALLING YOUR ATTENTION, GENTLEMEN AND DOG,

TO THAT FANTASTIC NOB HILL, YOUNG MEN.

TELEGRAPH HILL.

ALCATRAZ, THAT PRIVY OF A PRISON,

NOW DEFUNCT.

AND FINALLY, BEFORE YOUR EYES,

THAT EIGHTH AND NINTH WONDER OF THE WORLD,

THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE.

YES SIRREE, GORGEOUS AND GLORIOUS SAN FRANCISCO,

JEWEL OF THE WEST COAST, THAT BAGHDAD BY THE BAY.

- JEEZ, MISS PUDD, YOU COULD BE IN A CIRCUS. - I THINK I AM.

Chris: I'LL BET NO LITTLE KID IN THE WHOLE WORLD EVER DID SOMETHING LIKE THIS.

Pudd: AND I'LL BET NO OLD LADY IN THE WHOLE WORLD EVER DID SOMETHING LIKE THIS, EITHER.

OH, OUR FLYING LIGHTS.

THE CARRIAGE LAMPS. TURN ON THE LAMPS.

WE MUST BE CONSIDERATE OF 747s AND SUCH.

LET THEM KNOW WE ARE HERE. LET THEM SCAT OUT OF OUR WAY.

OH, HOW LOVELY.

HOW VERY LOVELY.

JEEZ.

I TOLD YOU WE'D FALL INTO SOME KIND OF OCEAN.

( thunder rumbling )

THIS FOG'S CREEPY.

CAN'T SEE ANYTHING.

IT'S LIKE THE WHOLE WORLD DISAPPEARED.

- WHAT IF IT DID? - HUH?

WHAT IF THE WHOLE WORLD DISAPPEARED,

LIKE SCIENCE FICTION?

LIKE WE GOT INTO SOME KIND OF TIME WARP,

- OR A DIFFERENT DIMENSION? - ( Joshua whimpers )

AND WE'RE GOING TO FLOAT AROUND FOREVER

'CAUSE THIS ISN'T REALLY FOG BUT SOME KIND OF--

NOTHING DISAPPEARED. IT'S JUST FOGGY, FOR PETE'S SAKES.

NOTHING DISAPPEARED.

YEAH?

THAT'S WHAT I FIGURED. IT PROBABLY DIDN'T.

BOYS, THIS IS REALLY QUITE ORDINARY FOG,

QUITE THE SAME SORT OF FOG

MR. SHERLOCK HOLMES TALKED ABOUT.

QUITE THE SAME SORT OF FOG

YOU'VE SEEN COUNTLESS TIMES BEFORE.

NOT FROM UP HERE I DIDN'T.

( rumbling )

I THINK I'M SCARED.

YEAH, I THINK I'M SCARED, TOO.

THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO FEAR.

WE'RE ADVENTURERS FOUR

ON A SAILING SHIP, A CHINA CLIPPER,

FAR ABOVE THE CLOUDS AND--

WELL, IT'S VERY FOOLISH OF ME TO PRATTLE

WHEN WE HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR.

WE MOST CERTAINLY ARE FRIGHTENED, AND WITH TRULY GOOD REASON,

BUT WE SHALL NOT PANIC.

WE SHALL HOLD OUR FEAR IN CHECK AND ENJOY OUR BOLD ADVENTURE.

I'M SURE THAT OUR MR. SANDUSKY HAD HIS MOMENTS.

( Joshua whines )

LET US ALL GIVE ONE GOOD ROUSING YELL OF FEAR.

TOGETHER NOW. ONE, TWO, THREE, SCREAM.

- ( all scream ) - ( Joshua barking )

I DON'T FEEL SO SCARED ANYMORE.

- YEAH, THAT FELT GOOD. - WELL, THEN LET'S FEEL EVEN BETTER.

ANOTHER SCREAM, PLEASE. ONE, TWO, THREE.

- ( all scream ) - ( Joshua barks )

( Miss Pudd laughs )

ONE, TWO, THREE.

( all scream )

( boys laughing )

( Miss Pudd laughs )

Alby: WHAT'S SO FUNNY, CHRIS?

I-- I DON'T--

HUH?

( giggling ) I-- I DON'T--

YOU DON'T WHAT?

( giggling ) I DON'T--

I DON'T KNOW.

( all laughing )

( laughter continues )

( Pudd laughing )

SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP.

YOU'RE LUCKY. STAY THAT WAY,

DEAR LITTLE FRIENDS.

I'M TERRIFIED, MR. SANDUSKY,

NOT FOR MYSELF.

I'VE CERTAINLY BEEN FRIGHTENED BEFORE,

BUT... THESE TWO

AND SHAGGY THERE.

FOR MYSELF, ISHKABIBBLE.

DRIFTING OFF WITH YOU, TO ME,

THAT WOULD BE A REALLY DELICIOUS EXPERIENCE.

YOU SEE, I'M NOT AS INNOCENT

AS YOU MIGHT SURMISE.

I ALWAYS HOPED THAT I WOULD FIND

A DREAM COME TRUE.

AND YOU,

ROMANTIC AND...

ROMANTIC...

I THINK THAT'S WHAT ATTRACTED ME

TO THE JUNKYARD IN THE FIRST PLACE,

AND TO YOU, TOO, MR. SANDUSKY.

NOT THAT YOU'RE A PIECE OF JUNK, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

WHEN YOU'RE LOOKING FOR SOMETHING SPECIAL,

WELL, THE THING EITHER HAS IT OR IT HASN'T,

AND YOU DEFINITELY HAVE.

I MEAN,

TO ME...

( sighs )

IF WE HAD ONLY...

YES, IF WE HAD ONLY.

ANYWAY, I HAD MORE LUCK WITH JUNK

THAN I HAD WITH MEN,

SO I CONCENTRATED ON JUNK...

AND SOMETHING SIMPLY STOPPED.

I GOT AFRAID,

AND I'VE LIVED AFRAID EVER SINCE.

THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS TO A LOT OF US, ISN'T IT?

WE GET AFRAID.

AFRAID OF BEING HURT, AFRAID OF BEING SICK,

AFRAID OF...

BEING.

THAT'S IT. JUST AFRAID OF BEING.

A LOT OF LITTLE FRAIDIES.

A SAD WASTE.

( chuckles )

IT'S BEAUTIFUL UP HERE, ISN'T IT?

TRANQUIL,

UNENCUMBERED.

MR. SANDUSKY,

THIS IS THE MOST JOYOUS THING I'VE EVER DONE.

IN ALL MY WHOLE LIFE,

THIS IS THE MOST TRULY THRILLING THING

I'VE EVER DONE.

YOU'VE LED ME ASTRAY, MR. SANDUSKY,

AND IN A HOT AIR BALLOON.

GRACIOUS. WHO WOULD HAVE IMAGINED?

I THINK I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO... FLY.

I MEAN, SAIL OFF.

I MEAN, REACH OUT.

I MEAN, BE FREE FREE FREE.

YOU SHOULD KNOW, MR. SANDUSKY. YOU DID IT.

IT'S LIVING, ISN'T IT?

IT'S WHAT LOVE IS SUPPOSED TO BE.

WHOOSH! ( laughs )

LIKE THEIR "TORNADO,"

FIVE BILLION, MILLION, SPRILLION MILES AN HOUR.

HMM.

BUT WHERE HAS IT LED ME, MR. SANDUSKY?

AND WHERE HAVE I LED THESE TWO YOUNG GENTLEMEN

AND THEIR POOR DOG?

JUST TELL ME. WHERE ARE WE GOING?

WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?

PLEASE STOP SMILING, MR. SANDUSKY,

AND JUST FOR ONE SECOND

TELL ME WHAT I CAN DO ABOUT--

( horn blows )

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

- WHAT'S THAT? - WHAT IS IT?

( foghorn blows )

- ( horn blows ) - ( screams )

THROW OUT THE BALLAST! THROW OUT THE BALLAST!

- ( Joshua barking ) - I TOLD YOU WE'D FALL INTO SOME KIND OF OCEAN!

I TOLD YOU MANY TIMES WE'D FALL INTO SOME KIND OF OCEAN!

WE'RE NOT FALLING INTO SOME KIND OF OCEAN!

WE'RE FALLING INTO SOME KIND OF BOAT!

HERE, HERE.

WOW, THAT WAS CLOSE.

Chris: YOU WANT TO KNOW SOMETHING?

THIS WAS THE CRAZIEST IDEA YOU EVER HAD.

Alby: WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT WAS MY IDEA?

IT WAS YOUR IDEA TO SEND AWAY FOR THE PARTS SO WE COULD RIG IT UP.

WHY DIDN'T HE JUST SIT IN A ROCKING CHAIR

LIKE GRANDFATHERS ARE SUPPOSED TO DO?

DON'T TALK ABOUT MY GRANDFATHER LIKE THAT!

ENOUGH, BOYS. ENOUGH ENOUGH ENOUGH.

- MISS PUDD, WE'RE LOST. - WE DON'T KNOW WHERE WE'RE GOING.

NOW, LISTEN TO ME, BOYS.

WE HAVE THE STARS AND MR. SANDUSKY TO GUIDE US.

WHAT STARS? WE CAN'T EVEN SEE THEM.

WE CANNOT SEE THEM AT THIS PARTICULAR MOMENT, BUT THEY ARE EVER EVER THERE.

YOU MUST BELIEVE THAT, BOYS. YOU TRULY TRULY MUST.

YOU JUST WAIT. WE'LL COME OUT OF THIS,

AND THEN YOU'LL SEE THEM.

- Chris: OH, WOW! - Alby: YEAH, OH, WOW.

Pudd: LOOK, THE PLEIADES.

MY GRACIOUS, BOYS. THEY ARE THE CONSTELLATION

OF SAILING AND SAFE NAVIGATION.

SAILORS AND NAVIGATORS OF OLD

USED TO NAME THE CONSTELLATIONS.

ARE WE LESS THAN THEY, WE CAPTAINS OF THIS BALLOON?

INDEED NOT.

HEAR US, YOU STARS AND PLANETS,

YOU COMETS, AND SUNS

AND WISPS OF COSMIC DUST.

WE DO NOW, BY AUTHORITY OF LOVE,

NAME THOSE FOUR STARS TO THE RIGHT OF THE MOON

CONSTELLATION SANDUSKY.

Alby: CONSTELLATION SANDUSKY.

HE SHALL EVER BE THERE FOR US TO SEE,

TO GUIDE US,

TO CARE FOR US.

I THINK BIRTHDAY WISHES ARE IN ORDER.

( singing celebratory song)

( all singing )

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GRANDPA!

Alby: IT'S PRETTY UP HERE.

Pudd: SERENE AND TRANQUIL.

AL, I THINK WE KIND OF GOT LOST THERE IN THAT FOG.

I MEAN, THAT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE CALISTOGA.

FOR PETE'S SAKE, CHRIS, THAT'S A CITY DOWN THERE.

Pudd: MY HEAVENS. GOOD GRACIOUS.

WE SEEM TO HAVE DRIFTED TO LOS ANGELES.

MY GOODNESS, WE'VE HAD QUITE A TRIP.

BUT WE MUST FIND A PLACE TO LAND.

TRULY WE MUST.

- Alby: FEELS SORT OF STRANGE. - Chris: YEAH.

- IT'S ALMOST OVER. - Alby: JEEZ, IT'S LIKE CHRISTMAS.

YOU WAIT A MILLION YEARS FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN,

AND WHEN IT DOES, IT'S ALL OVER FAST.

( helicopter whirring )

Man over bullhorn: Get that thing down.

WE SHOULD LIKE TO DO JUST THAT, SIR.

Get that damn thing down, lady.

DON'T BE SNIPPY WITH ME, YOUNG MAN!

WE'RE NOT IN YOUR RUDE CITY BY CHOICE!

Just get it down.

OH!

WE SHALL ATTEMPT TO LAND IN THAT PARK OVER THERE.

I WOULD SUGGEST THAT YOU CROSS YOUR FINGERS.

Head toward Griffith Park. Follow me.

THAT ABSURD MAN IS OBVIOUSLY NOT A BALLOONIST.

FOLLOW HIM, INDEED.

NOW, AL, TURN DOWN THE HEAT.

- NOT TOO MUCH! TURN IT UP! - ( rattles )

- Alby: I DIDN'T TOUCH IT. - OH, DEAR ME.

- ( loud bang ) - JEEZ, NOW THE COPS ARE SHOOTING AT US.

NO, ONLY MR. TCHAIKOVSKY.

( orchestra playing "1812 Overture" )

( loud bang )

I WISH HE WOULD QUIT SHOOTING AT US.

A SAFE LANDING, IF YOU PLEASE, MR. SANDUSKY.

DAMN THE TORPEDOES! FULL SPEED AHEAD!

- ( loud bang ) - ( crowd murmuring )

HEY, AL.

I THINK WE'RE IN TROUBLE.

- COULD BE. - OH, WOW.

( audience applauding, cheering )

GOOD EVENING.

( whines )

( Joshua barking )

Chris: ALL THAT FUN, AND NOW WE HAVE TO CLEAN UP.

Alby: THEY'D KILL US A SECOND TIME IF WE DON'T.

MY MOM WAS SORE.

SO WAS MINE.

SHE SAID WE GAVE HER 50 MILLION GRAY HAIRS.

JEEZ, SHE COLORS HER HAIR ANYWAYS.

- WHERE DO YOU WANT ME TO PUT THIS BOX? - IN THE SINK.

- WATCH OUT, CHRIS! - I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO PUT IT OVER THERE!

- YOU KNOCKED DOWN ALL THE-- - ( objects crashing )

CHRIS.

- Alby: OH WOW! - YEAH.

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. MISS PUDD, MISS PUDD, COME HERE!

- HURRY UP! - LOOK AT WHAT WE FOUND!

- OKAY. - MISS PUDD!

( barking )

- NO. - Boys: YEAH!

WE WOULDN'T DARE,

BUT I DARESAY WE SHALL.

( whispers ) THAT'S RIGHT.

( Joshua barking )

UP WE GO. OH.

THAT'S FINE, DEAR.

NO, JOSHUA, I AM DRIVING.

( Joshua whines )

( Joshua barking )

( jazz music playing )