Original subtitles

- Extra! - Extra!

Peter De Haven III disappears.

- Extra! - Extra!

Buy your evening paper here.

De Haven mystery trial opens today.

Read all about it.

Raise your right hand.

Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth,

the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God?

I do.

Your name is George Worthington Appleby?

- Yes. - Now just a moment.

One of the previous witnesses

referred to you as "Doc Appleby."

Are you a practicing physician? - Oh, no, Your Honor.

That - - that's just a nickname.

I'm a medical student at Granger University.

- Continue. - Tell the court

in your own words what happened

on the night of October 16.

Well, uh, that was the night before the day

set for the wedding of my friend, Peter De Haven III.

Uh, we gave him a bachelor dinner.

[ Luau music plays ]

[ Laughter, indistinct conversations ]

Take a good, long look, Pete.

It's the last one you're going to get.

Tomorrow is the deadline. - Don't be silly.

I'm only getting married, not embalmed.

Come on, drink up. - No thanks.

I've had plenty.

All right. Then have a cigar.

What's the matter with it?

- Nothing the matter with it. - Can you imagine that?

- Don't you trust me, Doc? - Why should I?

Here, I'll even light it for you.

[ Bang ]

[ Laughter ] - Of all the silly tricks!

Can't take it, huh?

I can't? Can you take it?

Why don't you try me and find out?

I will the first chance I get.

Don't let it throw you, Doc. It's all in fun.

Pete, old boy, tomorrow morning at 10:00,

they're going to hang the ball and chain on you. You're doomed.

Anyway, I'd like to congratulate you.

Well, thanks, Jimmy, old pal.

[ Buzzer ] - Let me go! Hey, hey!

Won't you ever grow up, even to get married?

[ Clattering ]

This is the dinner party for Peter De Haven, isn't it?

- Yes, it is. - That's all I wanted to know.

[ Luau music plays ]

So you marry my girl tomorrow morning, huh?

That's right, Robert. Have a cigar.

Thanks. Here's a little wedding present for you.

Hey!

Get him!

[ Indistinct shouting ]

I'll get you for this, De Haven.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Quiet!

Pay no attention to that little outburst, fellas.

Give them a downbeat, boys. Come on, let's drink up.

I think we should have let him hit you.

Oh, no. You wouldn't want to send him to his wedding

all full of dents, would you?

That's the stuff, Jimmy. You're my pal.

Oh, no.

Honey, can you shake a couple of sixes?

[ Laughter ]

I see. What happened then?

Well, you know how bachelor dinners are.

We continued well past midnight, and then we started breaking up.

I see.

[ All slurring ] - What a night.

Come on, Pete. Come on.

- Drink up. - Come on, Petey.

Come on, give old Pete a drink. Come on.

Ah, it's no use, fellas. He's out like a light.

You know, it's a funny thing.

I've never known Peter to pass out in my whole life.

- What will we do with him? - Ah, we leave him here.

Oh, no, no, no, wait. I got a better idea than that.

For 10 years, I've been waiting for a chance like this.

He's been ribbing us. Now let's see if he can take it.

What do you mean?

We'll bring him over to the college

and put him into the dissecting room.

That's a wonderful idea.

No, no, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait.

We could be thrown right out of school for that.

I've got a key to the side entrance.

We'll sneak him in and lay him out on a slab.

Doc, that's sheer genius.

He'll wake up in the middle of the night,

and it will scare the living daylights out of him, I hope.

- Go on, Pete. - Come on, Pete.

Shh! Professor Shotesbury is still working in the lab.

Why did we have to come around this way for?

Because we can't drive up to Medical College, stupid.

- Professor. - Huh?

Oh, hello, William.

What's the matter?

I've come to bury Charlie.

Charlie?

Look at him.

- He's alive! - Very much alive.

He was dead.

[ Chuckles ]

You was dead, baby. I saw you dead.

Pappy's little baby is back from the grave.

I can't believe it.

I can't believe it with my own eyes.

Professor, Professor, how come he's no longer dead?

Because, William, I've done it.

I've brought the dead back to life.

- Like that? - Like that, William.

Life, eternal life at last.

I have made the most tremendous discovery in history.

And I'm going to let you in on it.

What do you mean, you're going to let me in on it?

You are going to be my first example.

Oh, let me out.

William, wait a minute.

Professor, I ain't got nothing to wait for.

Besides, you can't give me that experiment

because I ain't dead.

That's a very simple matter, very simple.

See? See those pills?

Any one of them can produce instant death,

and then I bring you back again to life.

No dice.

You don't seem to realize that you're about

to have a great honor bestowed upon you.

You will be the first human being ever

to be brought back again to life.

Why can't I be second?

You'll go down in medical history, William.

You'll be the hero of the campus.

You mean the corpse of the campus.

The corpse of the - - Eh, don't be silly.

Look at Charlie, okay? Now look at him.

Does he seem any the worse for his experience?

Look, Professor, if you going to start

messing around with dead folks,

why don't you get yourself a boy that is dead?

Just wanted to do you a favor. That's all.

We've been together for so long, and - -

Aha.

Aha!

Aha?

You've given me an idea, a great idea, William.

We have got to get ourselves a dead body.

I'll kill him when he comes in.

No. You come with me.

Where are you going?

Come with me...

...across the campus to the dissecting room.

- Dissecting room? - Dissecting room.

Oh, you mean the college morgue!

Shh! Do you want people to hear?

This is a great secret, my secret, your secret.

Professor, it's all yours. Don't make me no partner.

You the president.

Psst!

What are you doing?

I don't know.

Well, stop it.

This time of night.

Professor, I hate to bring this up this late at night.

What's the matter?

Can I go home to my house?

- What for? - Get a glass of milk.

No.

O- Oh. Why couldn't I have been drafted?

Don't argue with me. We have work to do.

Yes.

Willie, look. Are we in luck!

You mean you in luck.

Professor, you know they'll put us in the jailhouse for this.

All right. It's all right.

Now don't forget, I'm in back of you.

You may in back of me, but look what's in front of me.

Shh! Go ahead, now. Go ahead, go ahead.

Professor, have you changed your mind?

No, my mind is made up.

Uh- oh.

This here one's got a lily in his hand.

He may be dead, but he's neat about it.

Now, Willie, put him on that slab and wheel him over here.

I don't want to be no chaperon to a corpse.

Quiet, Willie, and be quick.

I may be quiet, but I can't be quick.

- Ah! - Ah!

- [ Gasping ] - What's the matter?

He's still warm.

Fine, just what we need.

Bring him out. Bring him out.

Yes, I'll do it, but I ain't happy about it.

Hurry, hurry now.

Quiet, quiet!

That's the boy. Bring him along now.

Come on. Put his feet on. Put his feet on.

Yes.

Ah!

Oh! [ Clattering ]

Willie, stop your dillydallying.

Professor, what make you think I'm dallydillying?

Well, but what keeps you so long?

It's a simple operation. Here.

Bring him over here. Bring him over.

Lift him up now. Lift him up.

Come on, up here.

Phew!

They must have embalmed him in Scotch and soda.

Nothing of the kind. He hasn't been embalmed at all.

Just had a few drinks, that's all.

A few? He's so saturated,

if a breeze hit him, he'd ripple.

Quiet! Lift him up.

[ Grunting ]

William, stop that grunting.

This gentlemen surely a heap of dead weight.

Of course, what would you expect?

[ Groans ]

Shh! Quiet!

It's my daughter. Hide him. Hide him.

What are you doing?

I'm trying to find a place to hide him.

Behind the curtain.

- That's what I thought. - Shh!

Thanks for a lovely evening.

Good night. Haven't you forgotten something?

Forgotten something?

Do you mind if I ask you for a kiss?

Kiss? No, I've been dying to turn you down all evening.

Okay, but that means your name comes out of my little red book.

You're breaking my heart. Good night.

Dad, were you going out? - Why?

Oh, it's Willie. Willie is here.

I'm here, but I ought to be home.

Eh, Willie, now, if you grandmother is sick,

I would recommend the old- fashioned stick of licorice.

- When did she get sick? - The unsweetened...

Who? - Grandma.

Oh, what's the matter with her?

Oh, you didn't know? He didn't know.

Well, if your grandmother is sick,

Willie, licorice is wonderful.

Now, it's way past your bedtime and yours, too.

Good night. - Uh, good night, darling.

Don't you worry about anything, Willie.

Everything is going to be all right.

So you just run on home and don't worry about anything.

- Yes. - Yes.

Uh! Oh!

[ Thud ]

Dad! What was that?

What was what, darling? Uh, that boom?

Like that? It wasn't anything.

Well, that's what it was, darling.

It was my foot. It's all asleep.

The rest of you should be, too. Now, it's late.

Now, you go on home, and you go to bed.

Good night. - Good night, darling.

Quick, to the laboratory.

Yes, sir.

Willie, come in here.

Help me. - Yes.

There, there, there. What is the matter with you?

Are you an idiot? Come in here and help me.

[ Eerie music plays ]

Stop that.

Ah! I've done it. He's alive.

He's alive, breathing. I've done it.

I've done it. Willie.

[ Strangled scream ]

What are you doing?

I'm screaming.

Well, stop that noise.

Ohh.

I never saw little men that big before.

Reactions, marvelous. What time is it?

What time is it? Get my watch.

Help, help, help. Help get him up.

Get him up. Get him up.

Come on, that's it.

Easy, easy.

Ah!

What - - what happened? Where am I?

Who are you? - Steady now, steady.

This will come in the nature of a shock,

but you must try and cope with the greatness of it all.

All right. Let's have it. What have I done now?

Oh, it's not what you've done, my boy. It's what I've done.

Look, I don't know what this is, but I wish - -

Say, who are you? - I?

I'm Professor Reginald X. Shotesbury,

and tonight I've accomplished something that science

has always claimed was impossible.

Oh, it's no dream. No dream, it's a reality.

I have brought you back to life, back from the dead.

Dead? Me, dead? You're crazy!

Well, if you wasn't dead, what are you doing on the slab

in the morgue? - I was in the morgue?

- In the morgue. - With a lily.

- Have you got a drink? - Yes, yes, of course.

Willie, quick, quick, get Mr...

Mr...What is your name?

- Never mind. - Never mind.

- Never mind. - A brandy.

- Brandy. - Brandy.

- Anything, anything. - We ain't got that.

- What? - Anything.

Brandy, brandy.

The last thing I remember,

I was attending my bachelor dinner.

Must have been something you ate.

Ate.

[ Both gasp ]

Something happened you didn't figure on.

Professor, he's evaporating.

Living, breathing, solid and invisible.

What are you talking about, invisible?

Reactions, record this. Record this.

It didn't happen to Charlie. Or did it?

It didn't. [ Charlie chatters ]

He's there all right, but he ain't.

Just like him.

[ Charlie chatters ] Oh!

Think you can bring him back again, Professor?

William, think of it - - invisible men,

thousands of them invading enemy territory,

and no army in the world can combat them.

But I've got to bring him back to visibility.

I've got to find the antidote.

Your auntie can't help you now.

Professor, you better quick messing around with dead folks.

I tell you, I'm not dead,

and don't ask me again what I was doing in the morgue.

No, sir. No, you ain't dead,

but your clothes...

Daddy, do you realize it's getting late?

Ohh.

Oh.

Daddy, what is it?!

The result of an experiment, darling,

that went a little bit beyond my expectations.

Oh, my head.

Isn't there someplace I can lie down?

I am so sorry, of course.

William, prepare the guest room.

Yes, sir.

You'll excuse me, won't you. Oh.

Daddy, what are you up to? What does this mean?

It means, my darling, I've done it at last.

I've brought a dead man back to life.

- Dead man! - Back to life.

- Back to life? - Back to life.

You're getting worse and worse every day.

Are you going mad? - Mad?

It walked, didn't it? It breathed, didn't it?

Now if I can just bring the pigmentation back to its skin,

I can prove to them all that my theory is correct.

Where did you get that body?

Less than an hour ago in the dissecting room in the morgue.

- You stole it! - I stole it?

Nothing of the kind. I took it.

Why shouldn't I?

Father, you're going to disgrace us all.

Now, you come right with me and tell Willie

to take that body right back to the morgue.

- Take it back? - Yes.

- In the middle of the night? - Of course.

It will catch its death of cold.

Oh, I'll tell him myself. Willie!

- Take it back. - Willie.

Willie, you take that body right back to the morgue.

Yes.

The morgue? - Yes, the morgue.

Oh, the morgue is closed now.

Miss Joan, where is the ice bag?

Yes, it's upstairs in the - - What do you want an ice bag for?

The zombie has got a headache, and so have I.

Oh, my head.

What head?

Get out of here and let me sleep this off.

You better sleep some on.

[ Groans ]

Oh, my head feels as big as a house.

Yeah, an empty house.

[ Woman wails ]

Man: Mrs. Lunceford!

Barrett, Barrett, some smelling salts.

Mother, mother, what on Earth is the matter?

Peter has run away. You've been gypped, jilted.

What? But he was at the dinner party last night.

- You were there. - Yes, yes, I was.

Well, what happened?

Nothing out of the ordinary,

except that a guy broke in and tried to poke Peter in the nose.

He seemed to be a friend of yours.

Oh, well, what happened after the party?

We all said good night, and we all went home.

What are we going to do now?

Well, I think I'd better go down to the college

and talk to Doc Appleby.

All right.

And in the meantime, I'll have Uncle John tell

all the guests that the marriage has been temporarily postponed.

Hey, you can't go in there.

That's only for dead people and students.

I'm looking for George Appleby. Do you know him?

Oh, the one they call Doc? He's in there.

Thanks, I got to talk to him.

Jimmie, why aren't you at the wedding?

I was just getting ready to leave myself.

Doc, I've got something important to tell you alone.

Okay.

What's on your mind? - De Haven has disappeared.

What do you mean he's disappeared?

Nobody has heard from him since we left him.

Doc, Pete couldn't have been cut up by mistake, could he?

Ah, don't be a sap.

Oh, Appleby, this is Inspector Deming

of the Missing Persons Bureau.

- Oh, how do you do? - Glad to know you, Appleby.

Sorry to disturb you, but you know

Peter De Haven has disappeared?

Yes.

They tell me that he left the bachelor dinner party

last night with you, Terrence Abbott,

and a fellow named James Barbour.

Well, this is Barbour.

Well, I'm glad you're here.

I'm sort of killing two birds with one visit.

Tell me, just what can I do, exactly?

I've called an investigation in my office.

I guess the others are there now,

so we might as well go along.

We can discuss the matter there.

Sure, sure, but I doubt

if we can throw any light on the thing.

No, I don't think we could throw much light on it.

Oh, we'll see.

I'll be with you as soon as I change my clothes.

Well?

We're coming.

Now this fellow who crashed your party,

have you any idea who he was? - No, I don't know.

But Miss Lunceford might be able to give you a hint.

Yes. He referred to Miss Lunceford

as, "my girl," didn't he?

You don't think he could have injured De Haven

during the melee, do you? - Oh, no, no, no.

He didn't even get near Peter.

Besides, Peter had passed out by that time.

Well, do you suppose he could have laid for him

after he left the rest of you, caught up with him later?

- There's always... - That's what happened.

That's probably what happened, sure.

All right. All right.

Now you don't know anyone else who could have wished

any harm to Mr. De Haven? - No.

Peter was independently wealthy, an amateur golf champion.

He liked everybody, and everybody liked him.

What about another woman in the case?

Peter doesn't have much to do with women.

As a matter of fact, it was quite a surprise to us

when he announced his engagement to Miss Lunceford.

Well, gentlemen, you seem to throw

a bewildering lack of light on the situation.

I guess that's all. - Thank you, sir.

Oh, thank you.

Uh, sorry we haven't been more helpful, Inspector.

Do you mind?

Not at all.

[ Bang ]

[ Snores loudly ]

Miss Shotesbury, when exactly did your next meeting

with the alleged invisible man occur?

The following morning.

My father and I were having breakfast,

and we were trying carefully to determine...

Dad, you know, this body is going to be missed.

Well, my darling, it hasn't been missed yet, has it?

And I'm pretty sure that if it had been,

I'd be the first one to be informed.

Where did it come from?

Well, that's the mystery. I have no idea.

One thing is certain, the death must have been pretty recent

because the body was still warm.

It makes me shudder to think about it.

Suppose something happened to it during the night.

Dad, suppose something happened - -

Daddy, not on the doily.

Oh.

Not on the napkin either.

It's getting so I can't eat my breakfast in peace

in this house at all. What'd you ask me?

I said, "Suppose something happened

to it during the night?" - Well, what could happen?

Well, suppose it died again.

Well, that's very simple.

All Willie has to do is to wait for it to get dark

and then carry the body back to the morgue.

Professor, it ain't fair, taking corpses out on approval.

- How is he? - Stiff as a board.

- Stiff? - Dad, it's dead again.

If he's dead, he's the snoringest dead man I ever heard.

- Snoring? Snoring? - Yes.

Pretty late sleeper.

Professor, I hate to keep asking you this,

but I'd like to have a few days off.

What for?

I'd like to relax.

Have you ever heard anything so ridiculous?

Relax? What for? Look at me. Am I relaxed?

That's the trouble.

You get the morning paper and bring it in here.

Morning after morning, I have to tell you the same thing.

Why don't you look into things like that?

There should be water.

You drank yours, Daddy.

[ Coughing ]

Peter: Oh, my head, my head.

Oh, what a night.

Ooh, why did I do it?

Ohh.

What time is it?

Holy smoke, I'll be late for my own wedding.

Whoa.

What's coming off here?

I've been double- crossed.

Ohh. Oh, my head, my head.

Peter: Listen, you!

You got me into this, and now you get me out.

Stop that! Take your hands off me!

Stop it! Take your hands off me!

Stop it! Well, okay, then.

Well, I'm going to do the very best I can,

but you've got to be patient.

By the way, what's happened to your clothes?

They were distinctly visible last night.

I took them off.

I figured I'm less alarming this way

than with my clothes running around town.

Professor, I'm supposed to be getting married right now,

and I'm in no shape for a wedding this way.

You're going to get married?

Yes, to Christine Lunceford.

Then - - Then you're Peter De Haven.

- The Third. - Dad, that's Peter De Haven III.

- The Third? - The fellow that won The Open

at Green Meadows last year?

The one that everybody said was so handsome.

Never mind all that.

I'm supposed to be getting married this very minute.

Professor, there must be something you can do.

Plenty I can do. I've done pretty well so far, haven't I?

Don't forget that you were dead. - I was not dead.

Then what were you doing on the slab in the dissecting room?

I was on a slab in the dissecting room?

With a lily.

That sounds like Doc Appleby.

So that was his brilliant idea.

Wait until I get my hands on him.

- What hands? - Quiet, please.

Now, young man, you must remember

that this whole experiment is still in its embryonic state.

I must forbid you to leave this house

until I've found some means of bringing you back to visibility.

Peter: But I've got to see Christine

to find out how she is. - Will you please stay

in one place for just a moment, please?

Christine? Who's Christine?

Christine Lunceford, the bride.

The bride. Don't tell me.

I know who she is, yes. The bride, eh?

Well, in that case, I might consider...

So William.

William?

I want you to take Mr. De Haven here.

Take him any place he wishes to go.

Wait with him until he's ready to return,

and then see that he comes back to this house.

I will if I can find him.

Peter: Well, goodbye, Miss, uh...

- Oh, Shotesbury is the name. - ...Shotesbury.

I hope I'll be seeing you soon.

Thanks. Now don't relax, Professor.

- Uh, this way, please. - Here I am.

Dad, don't you think he ought to take some clothes with him?

- Why? - Well, in case...

William.

In my room, you'll find a little overnight bag.

I want you to pack it with that suit

of Mr. De Haven's and then take it with you.

You said it.

[ Horn honks ]

William, stop that noise.

Do you want everybody to hear you?

Mr. De Haven. - Peter: Yes?

Oh, Mr. De Haven, I really feel that the less we have to say

about this little experiment of ours, the better.

- Much better. - Yes.

William. William, come here.

I can only regret the inconvenience

that this has caused you, and,

while you're visiting at the home of your fiancée,

I am going to concentrate on some antidotes,

and I am positive - - - You're going to find one.

Yes. What's the matter?

Oh, you take this bag of Mr. De Haven's to the car.

You follow after him very quietly.

Don't let anybody see him.

I mean, drive carefully.

Peter: I'm cold.

Yes, if it gets any colder,

you can't even put your hand in your pocket.

I guess you're in, all right. - Right you are.

Now, for heaven's sake, let's get going.

Yes, sir.

Hmm, a ventriloquist.

Where to, boss?

1073 Fifth Avenue.

I sure hope you don't start being re- visible

on Fifth Avenue.

And don't blow out.

He must have the dummy in the suitcase.

Better make a quick run for it.

Don't want somebody to see that floating suitcase.

Right. I'll duck in through here.

You wait and keep the motor running

in case we have to make a quick getaway.

Yessir.

Hey! Hey, come on back here with that elevator.

[ Door buzzer sounds ]

[ Door buzzer sounds ]

- Good afternoon, Barrett. - Oh, Mr. Struck.

- What is it? - Pardon me, sir,

but did you ring the bell a little while ago?

Why, no. Look, Barrett, I've got to see Miss Christine.

I'm sorry, sir, but the doctor has given her a sedative.

- She's resting. - You tell her that I'm here.

I think she'll see me.

Peter: Christine.

Christine, don't be alarmed here.

Aaaah!

Aaaaah!

Aaah! Robert!

Christine, darling.

What is it?

Peter's voice. I heard it.

Peter's voice?

Well, now, look, honey, you just imagined that.

She'll be all right, Barrett. - Very good, sir.

Now, sweetheart, you've got to pull yourself together.

Nothing has happened to the bridegroom.

Then where is he?

Well, in the condition I saw him in,

he's liable to be anyplace.

Darling, this is just one small example

of married life with a guy like that.

Oh, please, darling, don't make it any more difficult for me.

We went all through this last night.

You know our finances.

It took everything mother had left to manage my trousseau.

Peter: Well, now your good investment

isn't going to pay off in dividends, huh?

[ Knock on door ]

- Yes? - Miss Christine?

Inspector Deming would like to speak with you.

He's looking for me. I've been dodging him all day.

Then you were at the bachelor dinner.

Just a moment, please.

Come on, he mustn't find you here.

Com[ Weakly ] e in, Inspector.

Miss Lunceford, this is Inspector Deming.

- How do you do? - That will be all, Barrett.

Just stay where you are, Miss Lunceford.

That isn't a very comfortable chair, Inspector.

Thanks. It will be very nice.

Very well.

Miss Lunceford, I know what mental anguish this is to you,

but there are some questions I have got to ask you.

You may be sure of my cooperation.

Thank you.

Now, the man who crashed Peter De Haven's bachelor dinner

last night said you were his girl.

Who was he?

Why, I- I have no idea.

Why, that's strange.

James Barbour told me you knew who the man was.

Jimmie Barbour is a fool!

Really, Inspector, this is cruel!

I'm awfully sorry, but you see,

we've linked the disappearance of your fiancé

with the threats made to him by this man.

We've got to find him.

Well, then look someplace else.

I'm sorry, Inspector, but I can't help you.

Now, just one more question...

Inspector Deming!

I know this is difficult to explain, but...

Yes, yes. I merely came here

to inquire about Miss Lunceford's health.

Did you expect to find it in the closet?

You're the man who crashed De Haven's party last night?

Yes, yes. I'm Robert Struck, but I can explain.

You'll do your explaining at headquarters.

You're going to arrest him?

Just take him in for questioning now.

I can answer all of your questions right here.

I haven't seen Peter De Haven, and I don't know where he is.

And if you take me in, you're going to be sorry.

My father is a friend of Judge Sanders.

And Judge Sanders is a friend of mine. Come on.

Darling, leave!

[ Crash ]

Robert! Robert!

What's this?

Christine: What's the matter, Robert?

What happened? - What did happen?

- Are you all right? - Miss Lunceford,

can you explain what this is doing in your bedroom?

Of course not. No one has been here except Robert and Dr. Harden.

"Peter De Haven, 21 East 58th Street."

Peter's suit. Robert, what have you done?

I've never seen those things before.

Oh, yeah?

I tell you, I didn't bring a suitcase in here.

Just the same, I'm going to hold you as a material witness.

Come on! - Oh, now look.

Look, Mr. Deming, you can't do this to me!

I've heard that before. Come on.

Oh, Chri - - Christine, you don't think - -

Ah!

If I'm cut, I'll sue you.

Okay, Struck, if that's the way you want it.

Hey! What's the matter with you?

Let me go!

Oh, come on! Cut out this playing.

Where's my hat?

Now, come on. You're going to the station.

Christine: Aaaah!

[ Thud ]

Aaaaah!

Is you in?

- Peter: Yeah. - Where's your suitcase?

I lost it.

Drive me to my place - - 21 East 58th Street.

I've got to get some clothes.

Yes, a convoy.

That's all I is, a convoy to a hunk of thin air.

[ Monkey chattering ]

Steady, Charlie, steady.

Now, stay on my shoulder there. Stay there, now.

Don't get restless, just a little while longer.

That's a boy. Stop it, now.

Stop it!

Here, shake hands. Shake hands.

That's it, now. That's it.

Oh! Don't tickle like that.

Don't tickle, you little monkey, you.

Stop it. Here, you get up there where you belong.

Get up there. Jump now. Go ahead.

Get up. That's a boy.

Now you stay there. Anything new, Dad?

I'm expecting great news, darling.

It all depends upon Charlie, there.

I expect him to become distinctly visible

at any moment now. - Charlie, where?

Right up there, in his favorite place, darling.

Oh! Careful! You'll fall and you'll break everything.

Hello, Charlie!

He's probably having trouble finding his fleas up there.

I don't know. He's been pretty happy all morning.

On my shoulder, laughing, scratching.

You know, my darling, you know,

I think being invisible has distinct advantages.

Oh, but not to other people, Pop.

Imagine sitting on an invisible lap or kissing an invisible man.

Look here. Look here.

I hope your interest in this experiment is purely scientific.

My interest in Peter De Haven has been purely personal

ever since I saw him win The Open

at Green Meadows last year. - Personal?

Mm- hmm. You do think he's handsome, don't you, Dad?

This is the most outrageous conversation.

Well, is he handsome?

Why, I don't know what the younger generation is coming to.

- Isn't he handsome? - Handsome?

Why, what a question. I hardly know the boy.

What's his name? - Peter De Haven.

Handsome? When I saw him,

I thought he looked pretty stiff to me.

Yes, a little stupid, sort of blank.

You like him? - Mm- hmm.

- Uh- huh? - Mm- hmm.

Uh- huh? Well, he - - he has nice eyes.

Yes. He has honest eyes.

His neckties are too loud, though.

I couldn't wear one of them. - Daddy!

What are you doing in here at this time?

This is the most important time of the day for me.

You find that Willie, and you tell him that he has to drive me

to the faculty meeting this afternoon to have my car washed.

It's an outrage, and don't you use it.

Look! The moment I've been waiting for!

Charlie! - Dad, that's wonderful!

Well, now what are you doing?

I have to note these changes of visibility very, very carefully.

You see, my darling, visibility is simply

the principle of refraction and pigmentation.

Now, my formula lowers the refraction.

Charlie! Don't you go out of the room.

You stay right here, Charlie. It lowers the refraction.

Charlie! You ought to know better

than to leave the doors open in this room!

You ought to know better!

Charlie, here. Here, Charlie.

[ Chattering ]

He's gone, disappeared, invisible!

Note it down in the book, quick, under pigmentation,

to the very second. Charlie?

Charlie?

You left the front door open, too.

Charlie?

Charlie, good boy now, in your cage.

Come on. Come on.

Charlie? [ Charlie screeches ]

Charlie?

Charlie? [ Clicks teeth ]

Charlie?

What on earth is the matter with Professor Shotesbury?

Most undignified!

Charlie, in your cage now, come, come, come.

Oh, did you lose something, Professor?

- What's that? - Have you lost something?

Why? Oh, of course!

Lost? Well, out of the cage.

See the canary, it's flown.

- Salt. - Salt?

Oh, of course, salt, yes, over the shoulder.

Oh, no, no, no. On the tail?

- That's it. - Yes, that's it.

Stupid.

Come, salt.

Come, Charlie, Charlie.

[ Charlie chatters ] Oh, I know.

I know what you're waiting for, yes.

He's gone back into the house.

I wonder who Charlie can be?

Here, Charlie. Come on now, look.

Nice, fresh banana, see.

Come on. Come on, boy.

Good boy. [ Clicks teeth ]

Come on, Charlie. Come on.

[ Charlie chatters ] Come on. That's the boy.

That's a good boy, yes.

You just swing away Charlie, just swing away.

That's a good boy, that's it.

That's it.

Ah! Charlie stop that!

Where are you? Come here.

Bad boy, you are.

Charlie. Come on now.

Come on.

Charlie, come on, now.

In your cage, in your cage, come on.

Come on! [ Clicks teeth ]

[ Charlie chatters ]

Charlie?

Charlie?

Charlie, here.

Come on, Charlie. Come now, on my shoulder.

Good boy. Come on, Charlie, here.

Nice banana, come on. Charlie!

Charlie! Here, here, good boy, now.

Charlie!

Charlie!

Back in your cage, you bad boy.

Oh, Professor Moggs.

Well, you certainly fooled me.

Looking for somebody?

Oh, no, no. Just, uh, searching.

- For what? - Well, I don't care.

Oh, what? Oh, why, uh, mushrooms.

With a banana?

Oh, well that's, uh, the bait, you see?

Oh! Fishing?

- Who? - You.

- What for? - Mushrooms.

Oh, no. I never eat them.

I think you take an awful chance with mushrooms in this climate.

Of course, the canned mushroom,

now there, there you have something else, you see.

Yeah. - Don't do that!

Oh, I'm so sorry. It must catch or something, yes.

I had a wonderful mushroom souffle.

- Stop it! - What? Charlie!

Oh, Charlie, here, on my shoulder.

On my shoulder, quick there. That's a boy.

Good boy, come on. Oh, dear,

I've missed him again and I've got to get him back.

You will excuse me, won't you? Yes, goodbye, Professor.

You'll excuse me, won't you?

I'll see you later in the day...

- Yes, yes. - ...in the faculty meeting?

- The faculty meeting. - Remember no mushrooms.

- No, no, no mushrooms. - No, no, no.

Charlie! Come on, Charlie, now.

Come on. Come down.

In your cage, in your cage now.

Nice banana, see?

What do you make of it?

I've been expecting it.

He always was odd with his theories and experiments.

It's happened.

Oh, is that so?

I'll teach you, you little monkey, you.

Come down. Come on.

Come down.

[ Charlie chatters ]

That's a boy.

In your cage, Charlie, in your cage.

Oh, that's a good boy. That's a nice boy.

Now, are you in there, huh?

Yes, well there you stay for the rest of the day, yes.

Mushrooms.

Now I'm going to report to the faculty.

First time I ever saw a suitcase bring home a man.

Peter: Hello. Well, I'm back.

- I'm glad! - I'll take your bag, sir.

Peter: Thanks, Willie. We stopped at my place

and picked up some clothes and things.

Willie, do you know what happened today?

Charlie came back. - He did?

Sure enough. Tail and all?

- Mm- hmm! - Who's Charlie?

Oh, that's a monkey my dad has been experimenting with.

He made it disappear, and now it's back.

- That's encouraging. - But only for a few moments,

and then it disappeared again. - Uh- oh, that did it.

Peter: I'm nothing but a walking test tube.

Well, now, please don't be discouraged because

Dad says it looks very hopeful now that Charlie's back.

Say, that means I'm apt to pop into sight any minute.

I better get dressed.

Well, yes, I- I think you'd better.

I- I'm really terribly sorry about all this.

It could never have happened to...

That's all right.

It seems to have happened for the best.

Well, I'll see you later, huh?

I hope so.

Joan!

Jo- - Why don't you answer me?

Well, you're looking right at me, Dad.

Don't talk back, please. Never talk back to me at all.

Who's that? Who's that, William? - Yes.

I see, yes. Did you bring Mr. De Haven back?

Yes. I brung him back just like I took him.

That's all I wanted to know.

You get ready now to take me to the faculty meeting.

Did you wash my car? No.

Joan, this is very important.

I want you to tell Mr. - - uh, Mr...

What is his name? - De Haven.

Don't tell me, I know what it is, De Haven.

You tell Mr. De Haven I'm going to administer the antidote

just as soon as I return from this meeting...

and that I think it's essential he remain

in the house for the entire day.

Suppose he doesn't come back, what then?

My dear girl, I am firmly convinced that

unless I administer the antidote before the night is over,

he will remain invisible forever.

Why, that would be terrible!

A catastrophe!

Look here. Look here, young lady.

Seems to me you're more interested

in this experiment than I am.

Well, yes I am interested in him, Dad.

I think he's marvel- - a marvelous experiment.

Oh, in all of science.

In other words, the sooner I return him to the flesh,

the happier you will be.

- Right. - Marvelous.

And you shouldn't talk so loud. He's liable to hear us.

- He can't hear anything. - Peter: I did hear you,

professor, and I wish you wouldn't interrupt.

- Well, I beg your pardon - - - Quite all right.

Now, uh, what are you saying,

Miss Shotesbury, about the experiment?

Oh, well, uh, oh, well, scientifically...

oh, well, on page 50... Wait a minute.

I got it. It says here that, um...

[ Laughing ]

What are you laughing at?

[ Peter continues laughing ]

Gentlemen, I suggest that we vote on the matter as - -

- Gentlemen, gentlemen! - Moggs, is anything wrong?

I just had the most terrifying experience.

- What? - Professor Shotesbury has gone

quite insane!

Moggs, you don't know what you're saying!

Why, we are here today to consider Mr. Maurice Ponsonby's

$200,000 request to Shotesbury's department.

Which should, by every right,

be coming to my department, Applied Psychology.

What's the matter with my department?

Anatomy certainly needs all the money it can get.

But the money should be coming to my department.

[ Arguing ] Gentlemen, if you will only

listen to what I have to tell you!

Just a moment, Professor Moggs.

I rather question your statement.

While I realize that Dr. Shotesbury

has been working very hard - -

That's exactly it!

I witnessed a most peculiar demonstration

this very afternoon - -

Shotesbury running around in his garden

with an empty cage in one hand,

and a half- peeled banana in the other,

calling [ Clicks teeth ] "Charlie, Charlie, Charlie!"

- Charlie? - Who or what is Charlie?

I haven't the slightest idea!

From his actions, I assumed it was some

wholly imaginary person, a creation of his brain.

A disordered brain.

Exactly!

In the rude parlance of the cave stone,

Professor Shotesbury has blown his topper!

Topper?

Good morning, everybody. Good morning.

Good morning. I mean, good evening, everybody.

What is it?

Good afternoon, everybody, of course.

We were beginning to wonder what had happened to you.

Oh, really? Well, gentlemen, I am on the verge

of the most epoch- making discovery

in the history of modern science.

- Yes, Dr. Shotesbury? - I have made a man invisible.

Shotesbury, old man, I'm afraid you've been

rather overdoing things of late.

- You don't believe me? - Now, now, don't get excited.

Why don't you take a nice, long holiday somewhere?

I'm sure the board can arrange a leave of absence.

Why, this is positively insulting,

a leave of absence right in the middle of all my experiments.

What were you doing in the garden

chasing something around with an empty cage and a banana?

I was trying to catch a monkey, a monkey that was invisible.

I had made him invisible.

I can make you invisible, and you and you.

- How? - Aaah!

I have pills, pills that produce death

instantaneously, and then...

- Now, really, Shotesbury. - You don't believe me?

- No. - No!

I'll prove it!

Give me a line. Give me a line.

Give me a line, quickly. Yes, five- three.

William?

I want you to cover Charlie's cage

and bring him down to the college right away.

Uh, Mr. Professor, don't you think poor Charlie

is having a tough enough time as it is?

You do as I tell you.

Yes, to the college boardroom on the first floor, and hurry!

Now, gentlemen, you are going to be witnesses

to something that will positively amaze you.

Well, gentlemen, let us resume our seats.

Ah, here's McAuley with his tests.

- Yes. - Now, Moggs,

you'll see for yourself.

Yes, and you will see, too.

What is this here? What is this, a new game?

This is certainly not a game.

I wonder if you would put the square blocks

in the square holes,

and the round blocks in the round holes on this board.

It's the most outrageous waste of time for a board meeting.

What is this, the square one in the square one?

So. - Yes.

And the round one in the round one? So.

I could do this underhanded, like that. So.

So, and there, for good measure.

- Perfectly simple. - Yeah. Simple is the word.

All right, Shotesbury. Now listen to this.

Two teams are playing baseball.

The visiting team makes one run in each inning,

and the home team makes two runs in each inning.

What is the score when the game ends?

Nine to 16.

Aha!

They play nine innings, don't they?

Not at all. The home team never plays

the last half of the 9th inning when it's ahead.

Any fool knows that.

I beg your pardon?

Tell me, Professor Barkley,

have you ever been troubled with strange dreams?

Have you ever fancied yourself, for example,

as a wood nymph flitting?

- Flitting? - Yes.

Why, yes!

[ Laughs ]

How did you know? - I had my suspicions.

Dean Claxton, I think it would be a very good idea

if you gave the blocks to Professor Barkley to play with.

I did not come here to be insulted!

Oh, Barkley, sit down!

- Yes. - Impudence!

Oh, an egg.

Yes, an egg, an oval.

Can you draw an oval?

Tell me, Professor, could you take an egg,

and holding it above a table so,

let it drop about, uh, 3 feet without breaking it?

Well, that's ridiculous!

It would break if it dropped a foot.

That's where you're entirely wrong.

Gentlemen, I can take this egg and hold it 4 feet - -

4 feet - - - Pardon me.

Pardon me. That - - that would be 4 feet.

- To there? - Yes.

- You think? - Mm- hmm.

Hold it 4 feet above the table.

You follow me, do you Barkley?

Ah, ah, ah! You're cheating.

You're cheating, 4 feet.

I could hold it 4 feet above the table,

and I assure you, gentlemen, that if I let it fall,

it would drop for 3 feet without breaking.

Of course, what happens after the 3rd foot,

that's not my business.

Dean, I propose this meeting adjourned.

But we can't adjourn!

Mr. Ponsonby is on his way over here!

Why, certainly, and besides,

we have to for my invisible monkey.

I wonder, Professor Claxton, if you would mind

my attempting a little experiment?

- Well, I - - - Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Could you, by any chance, put your right hand

completely in your left- hand pocket,

and your left hand completely in your right- hand pocket

at the same time?

- Can you? - I can, and have.

Well, I can try.

The right hand in the left pocket,

and the left hand in the right pocket at the same time?

[ Grumbles ]

No, no, no, no, no. That's not in there.

It - - it can't be done!

Yes, it can, and has.

- How? - By taking off your trousers.

What?

[ Charlie chattering ]

Gentlemen, my monkey!

Come right in, William. Right in, please.

Here, on the table, with speed, with care.

That's it. Thank you very much, William.

Now, I will bring him back myself.

Professor, you would be doing me a big favor.

That's quite all right. Now, gentlemen, listen.

You hear the chattering of my invisible monkey?

You will be able to see the bar swing to and fro.

You will be able to hear, but of the monkey itself,

there will be not the slightest vestige there.

Ahh! This is amazing! - It certainly is.

I've done it! My experiment is a success!

I brought him back, back to visibility!

Yes! - He is positively insane.

Telephone the sanitarium.

We are bringing a patient along at once!

Right. We better humor him.

Yes, yes, yes! Let's - - let's humor him.

William! William! Gentlemen, you'll have to excuse me.

Please, I've got to rush back to my - -

No, no, no. Shotesbury, old boy, you are not returning alone.

Why not?

As head of the college, I cannot take that risk.

Risk of what?

A man with your peculiar mental attainments?

Oh, now, now, Dean Claxton, you really feel I have them?

You're a genius!

From you, Professor Barkley, that's very kind.

There had been times when I thought I had no brains whatsoever.

Mr. Ponsonby has arrived.

Oh, well, I can't wait for him.

He talks forever, the man, and we'll lose

a million dollars in an hour, but I have to get going.

Do you remember the last time he was here?

Two hours, he talked. - Come along, Shotesbury.

This way, please. - No, no.

This way, professor.

Come along, Shotesbury.

Ooh, ooh, ooh.

Tell him to wait, we'll be back, and make him comfortable.

We're taking Professor Shotesbury to a rest home.

He's very tired.

Gentlemen, good - -

Well, where is everybody?

[ Chattering ]

Oh!

What a pleasant little fellow.

Oh!

[ Thud ]

What happened, Miss Shotesbury,

when Peter De Haven returned, as you say,

to your home the next afternoon?

Well, we, uh... we talked.

Oh, I see.

Well, aside from the invisibility,

would you say he was quite all right?

Oh, yes. Yes. He was fine.

Proceed. Do you remember what your were talking about?

Yes, I do.

We were, or rather,

I was interested in this Miss Lunceford,

the girl he's going to marry, and...

I have a hunch all this is going to turn out great!

I'm glad! You didn't finish, Peter.

What were you saying about Christine Lunceford?

Oh, well, it appears, Joan, that to them

I was just some sort of gilt- edged bond.

You know, good negotiable security.

Then you aren't going to marry her?

Not if she were the only girl in the world.

I may not have my head, but I've still got my pride.

Well, I'm glad to hear that.

Let's have some music, huh?

Mm- hmm.

[ Radio clicks on, slow music plays ]

Why, Peter, you're visible!

What?

Why, you're even handsome!

Huh?

Well, you're even beautiful.

Peter, where did you go?

Miss Shotesbury, are you sure

this happened to you in the living room?

- Yes, sir. - Now just a moment.

You say he kissed you?

Just what was it like to be kissed by this invisible man?

Oh...

Oh, it was wonderful, Your Honor.

If you close your eyes, the effect is just the same.

[ Laughter ]

Order! Order!

I see. Continue.

Well, we turned on the radio, and suddenly...

Man: We interrupt this program of recorded music

to bring you the afternoon news.

These are the new developments in the case

of the missing millionaire, Peter De Haven.

Robert Struck was arrested this morning

in the apartment of Christine Lunceford.

Unable to furnish bail, which was set at $5,000,

Struck is being held.

The stock market rallied slightly this afternoon,

although there is no - - [ Radio clicks off ]

They mustn't do that! They've got to release him!

- Why? - Don't you see?

This scandal will prove the last straw.

Once he's released, he and Christine

will be in each other's arms.

Mama Lunceford will insist on it!

Is that so important?

Why, of course it is.

Well, I mean, now, you know that.

Well, I just wanted to hear you say it.

[ Chuckles ] I've got it!

I've got to get home right away.

But you can't do that!

I've got money enough in my wall safe to cover that bond.

Willie can put it up for bail.

You know, anonymous friend, or something?

Struck gets out, marries Christine!

Willie!

But if you don't get back in time, you may stay invisible!

Don't worry, honey.

I'll be back before your father gets here.

Willie! - Yes?

Get the car out. We're going back to my place.

Okay, I'll get the car,

but don't you think you ought to take your clothes off?

You'll look mighty funny riding around in a car headless.

And don't forget the keys to your apartment.

I'll be right back, honey.

[ Smooches ]

Hurry.

Peter: Come along with me, Willie.

I will, but I shouldn't.

Somebody might shoot me for a burglar,

and they'd miss you.

Don't worry. Come on.

- Where's the key? - I put it in your pocket.

Well, cut off my leg, and call me shorty!

Here we are. Come on, Willie.

Unlock the door. Hurry it up.

Yes.

Come on. What are you waiting for?

Pardon me, sir. Would you mind moving over

so I can get the key in?

Step a little louder, boss. I can't hear you!

I don't see no safe. - You will.

- Small one, ain't it? - Yeah.

What do you keep in it, dimes?

No. Quiet, my valet will hear you.

You know, Mr. De Haven, the way you is now,

me and you could go into the uncracking safe business

and make a lot of money.

Shh!

Here.

Phew! This sure is a lot of potatoes.

[ Door closes ]

What's that? - That's my valet.

Let's get out of here before he sees us.

Boss, you with me?

Wait a minute. Let me drive.

Yes.

[ Engine starts ]

[ Siren wails ]

Here comes the law.

Hey, cut out that fancy driving and get behind that wheel.

- Yessir. - Come on.

Get off my lap!

Yessir.

You going to be the death of me yet.

Well, here we is. - Yeah.

Now take the money in there, and bail out Mr. Robert Struck.

But who would I say the money is from?

They know I don't got this kind of hay.

Just say an anonymous friend.

- A who? - Skip it.

Go on. Get in that station.

Willie, you said you got $5,000

from a man you didn't even see.

You expect the jury to believe that?

I don't expect them to, but I sure would appreciate it.

Remember, you're under oath.

You're sworn to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Now you don't want to break that oath, do you, Willie?

No, sir. As far as I'm concerned,

I'm willing to drop the whole business.

Good day, Judge. - Just a minute! Sit down.

You're a little nervous. - I can't help it.

I'm always that way when I'm afore a judge.

Continue. You took the bail money into the police station.

That's right, and the policeman told us to sit down there,

on account of he's kind of busy.

So we just set there.

"We?" What do you mean, "we"?

Me and my conscience.

Hey! What are you doing there?

Well, what do you want?

I got bail money for a gentleman named Mr. Robert Struck.

Say, that's a lot of dough.

Where did you get all that money?

From a umomynous friend.

Who's a umomynous friend?

I don't know. I'm just as ignorant as you is.

Can I get him?

I've had enough of this! Out of my way!

I'm the only sane member of the faculty,

with your blocks and you with your flittings

and you with your mushrooms.

It's vitally important that I get to my office immediately,

and I want to tell you that when I get there,

I'm going to report you all to the authorities.

Take Professor Shotesbury to his room, please.

How dare you do a thing like this to me!

Do you realize who I am?

I am Reginald X. Shotesbury! I am a professor of chemistry!

Ah, but you do like baseball, Professor.

I do not - - What's that got to do with it?

Of course I like baseball. - Give the professor a nice room

right next to the Brooklyn Ballpark.

I am not interested in the Brooklyn B- -

Here, here! Put me down!

This is sabotage, sabotage!

Put me down! Put me down!

This is sabotage!

Help! - Help.

- Help! - Help.

- Let me out! - Me, too!

[ Yodeling ]

My father did make a man invisible. I've seen him!

Joan, if that is true, where is this invisible man now?

- Yes, where is he? - Well, I don't know.

I can't tell you, but it is true.

Oh, I know it sounds fantastic,

but you've got to let him come home before it's too late.

Joan, we know you're only trying to protect your father.

It's the sort of thing you would do.

But believe me, my dear,

he's better off where he is for the present.

Right. He's right, Joan.

Now, if you like, I'll drive you to the sanitarium.

Well, no.

No, thank you. I'll drive myself.

Just as you said.

Well, in that case, we'll be going.

Good- bye, gentlemen.

Good- bye, Joan.

[ Door bangs shut ]

Peter, is that you?

Peter: Yeah. Where are you?

In here.

Oh.

Oh, excuse me. I didn't know.

Joan, what's happened?

Is your father experimenting on you, too?

No, no. Something terrible has happened.

- You mean besides this? - Yes.

You come with me, and I'll tell you on the way.

[ Gasps ] Ah!

Joan: Hurry, I have to take this serum to Dad at the rest home.

Peter: Now, will you please tell me where we're going?

To the Glenview Rest Home, where they're holding my father

under suspicion of being insane.

- What? - Peter, hold the wheel.

These things look pretty silly driving a car.

Yeah, I suppose they do.

Oh! Miss, don't you think you're driving too fast?

How did you get here? Sit down before you fall out!

Whoa!

Oh!

[ Horn honks ]

Miss Joan, be careful.

Oh! Look out! [ Tires screech ]

Be careful, Joan, please!

Ooh!

Why couldn't I have been in the Army?

Joan: Well, we have to hurry! We can't be seen this way.

- Why not slow down to 90? - Look out!

Oh, ooh!

This is suicide if I ever saw it.

Don't hit anything.

Don't worry. I won't.

Peter: Your brakes, the car is equipped with brakes!

Whoo!

Uh, those people are in a safety zone!

Can't you see? - Did we make it?

Aaaaah!

Whoa!

Oh.

You better step on it.

One down, one up, they're coming fast.

[ Siren wails ]

[ Brakes squeal ]

Peter: You just wait here. We'll be right out.

Yessir.

[ Siren wails ]

Oh!

[ Tires screech ]

[ Door closes ]

Yes?

Joan: Daddy, what are you doing in there?

I thought it was those baseball attendants.

Is that you, Joan? - Yes.

- Where are you? - Here I am.

What are you doing here? How'd you become invisible?

I used your serum. - We've come to get you out.

- Is that you, Peter? - Peter: Yeah.

- Where are you? - Right here, Dad.

- Dad? - Uh, Professor.

Well, this is wonderful. This is wonderful.

But, Joan, we've got to get him back.

We've got to get him back to my laboratory,

and we've got to do it instantly. Now how?

Well, you'll have to make yourself invisible.

- But how? - We'll use your serum.

But how? That's why I brought it with me!

- You brought it? - Yes.

Oh, how wonderful! Of course.

Ye- - Then we can all go out together.

- That's right. - Oh, this is wonderful.

You're just a genius, darling. - Never mind about that.

Now, you hurry. - Yes, don't answer me back.

- Now, listen. Hurry up. - Don't hurry me.

I - - Oh. Uh- huh.

Thought they were going to keep me locked in here, did they?

Ha- ha, we'll show them. Brooklyn ballpark, eh?!

- Shh! - Quiet!

Quiet.

Daddy, please don't stop to fold your trousers.

Why? I - - Oh! Oh, I'm sorry, darling.

Just force of habit, that's all. - Now, come on.

Hurry up, and don't make any noise.

Don't get excited. Nobody is going to see us.

- Come on. Hurry up. - Don't tell me what to do.

You go ahead. I'll, eh...

Come on, Professor. Get in back.

Huh? I certainly will not.

In the back, I always sit in the front, too drafty in the back.

I'll sit here with Joan. You sit with Willie.

- All right. - Better get away from here.

Willie: There's a cop around here.

[ Siren wails ]

[ Tires screech ]

[ Crossing bells clanging ]

[ Siren wails ]

Ah!!

Ah!

Look at that! Look out!

Oh!

You'll kill us all, invisible or not.

They ain't fooling. This road really is closed.

[ Siren wails ]

Ugh, ugh.

Miss Joan, don't go so fast.

This road is really bumpy.

Ugh, ugh, ugh.

Miss Joan, don't go so fast!

Ugh, ugh, ugh.

[ Siren wails ]

Whoa!

Which one of you is that?

Peter: That was me, Willie.

Uh- oh. Here comes the law.

And you are asking this court to believe, Professor,

that when the three of you emerged from the asylum,

you were all absolutely invisible?

That is the truth.

And you're willing to swear the third member of your party

was Peter De Haven, the missing millionaire,

and that he was alive? - Yes.

Well, what happened to him on his way back?

I have no idea. He was probably thrown out

of the car with Willie. At any rate, he disappeared.

The invisible man disappeared? Well, well, well.

That's funny.

Order, order! Shh.

For all you know, they may still be in the back of your car.

That's not possible.

I swept the whole car out with a whisk broom.

It's a little whisk broom I have up in the front.

I wish it were a vacuum, be easier.

And how, pray, did you and your daughter return to visibility?

With the injection of this antidote,

Your Honor, which brought us back

instantly to our normal selves.

And I suppose if De Haven were here and now,

you could give him an injection from that hypodermic

and bring him back, just like that.

Just like that, Your Honor.

This is the most outlandish fabrication of falsehood

I've ever listened to.

Peter: Oh, I wouldn't say that, Judge.

[ Spectators scream ]

Peter, is that you?

Yes, sir, but I'm a little warped.

Call me a fabricator?

With your permission, Your Honor, I'll show you.

Yeah.

There should be a gate here.

Now Dad will show that judge a thing or two.

I hope he don't forget the combination.

What brought you back, Professor?

Whatever it was, I hope you saved some for me.

I'm getting mighty fed up with this condition.

And I don't blame you, Peter.

I'm sorry, but don't ask me any questions.

Now, your arm.

Come, come, come.

I'm coming, Your Highness - - Doctor.

I'll be there, Judge.

This man is the most annoying and irritating man

I have ever met. There.

Now, Your Honor, you're going to witness the results

of one of the greatest experiments in modern science.

- I wonder. - I wonder.

- So do I. - Me too.

Look. What did I tell you?

Isn't that marvelous?

Ah- choo!

Peter, you've caught cold!

Yeah. That lake was as cold as ice.

Long time, no see.

I didn't know you cared.

Don't look now, but aren't they a handsome couple?

My daughter, you know?

Uh- huh. Who's the boy?

- What? - Who's the boy?

Well, he's, uh...

Well, it doesn't matter, but isn't she beautiful?

Looks just like her mother.

Uh- huh. She must.

Oh, my. I'm going to get me a job where I can relax.

Sure is glad it didn't happen to me.

They got me!