subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for Quarter.To.Two.Before.Jesus.Christ.1982.720p.BluRay.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

Afrikaans

Akan

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bemba

Bengali

Bihari

Bosnian

Breton

Bulgarian

Cambodian

Catalan

Cebuano

Cherokee

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional)

Corsican

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Dutch

English

Esperanto

Estonian

Ewe

Faroese

Filipino

Finnish

French Download

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German

Greek

Guarani

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian

Interlingua

Irish

Italian

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Kinyarwanda

Kirundi

Kongo

Korean

Krio (Sierra Leone)

Kurdish

Kurdish (Soranî)

Kyrgyz

Laothian

Latin

Latvian

Lingala

Lithuanian

Lozi

Luganda

Luo

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy

Malay

Malayalam

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mauritian Creole

Moldavian

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Montenegrin

Nepali

Nigerian Pidgin

Northern Sotho

Norwegian

Norwegian (Nynorsk)

Occitan

Oriya

Oromo

Pashto

Persian

Polish

Portuguese (Brazil)

Portuguese (Portugal) Download

Punjabi

Quechua

Romanian

Romansh

Runyakitara

Russian

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian

Serbo-Croatian

Sesotho

Setswana

Seychellois Creole

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhalese

Slovak

Slovenian

Somali

Spanish Download

Spanish (Latin American)

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish

Tajik

Tamil

Tatar

Telugu

Thai

Tigrinya

Tonga

Tshiluba

Tumbuka

Turkish

Turkmen

Twi

Uighur

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Wolof

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:13,473 --> 00:00:16,434 This film was restored by PATHÉ in 2013 4 00:00:31,157 --> 00:00:32,784 In those days, 5 00:00:33,159 --> 00:00:35,828 from Scotland to the Gobi, 6 00:00:36,329 --> 00:00:39,749 from the Turkish hills to the Hispanic shores, 7 00:00:40,333 --> 00:00:43,962 one man alone held sway over the civilized world, 8 00:00:44,212 --> 00:00:45,421 Caesar! 9 00:00:46,214 --> 00:00:47,507 Each year, 10 00:00:47,924 --> 00:00:51,761 mighty Caesar vacationed in Rahat-Locum, 11 00:00:52,303 --> 00:00:54,681 a Roman colony in North Africa. 12 00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:37,682 A QUARTER TO TWO B.C. 13 00:02:08,921 --> 00:02:11,424 Want some good grass? It's Phoenician! 14 00:02:11,591 --> 00:02:12,591 Piss off! 15 00:04:01,451 --> 00:04:04,078 What's all this? See what's wrong! 16 00:04:04,412 --> 00:04:06,789 Outta the way! 17 00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:12,253 Don't rupture yourself! 18 00:04:13,379 --> 00:04:14,589 Move over! 19 00:04:14,756 --> 00:04:16,466 Where's the fire? 20 00:04:16,632 --> 00:04:19,552 If you're in a rush, get a camel! 21 00:04:19,719 --> 00:04:21,971 Pain in the ass! I'm workin'! 22 00:04:22,138 --> 00:04:25,016 No reason to piss everybody off! 23 00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:28,686 Why bitch? Ya ain't got a fare. 24 00:04:29,270 --> 00:04:32,565 Cuz I stop at noon for chow, asshole! 25 00:04:35,401 --> 00:04:39,572 Say that again... Let's see if I get mad. 26 00:04:41,407 --> 00:04:43,493 Gonna scare me, ya big bag? 27 00:04:46,329 --> 00:04:48,498 If I come over 28 00:04:48,706 --> 00:04:50,041 real close 29 00:04:50,208 --> 00:04:54,545 and look ya in the eye, got the guts to repeat that? 30 00:04:54,712 --> 00:04:56,339 - Big bag! - Me? 31 00:04:56,506 --> 00:04:58,549 Yeah! Ya know what kind? 32 00:04:58,716 --> 00:05:00,802 Me? A big bag? 33 00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:01,968 What's up? 34 00:05:02,094 --> 00:05:04,388 This dope's blockin' my way. 35 00:05:04,555 --> 00:05:08,017 Chariot races are held in the Circus. 36 00:05:08,184 --> 00:05:09,310 What a clown! 37 00:05:09,477 --> 00:05:10,812 Shut up! 38 00:05:11,395 --> 00:05:13,981 I want the street cleared by 3. 39 00:05:14,148 --> 00:05:15,858 Again! 40 00:05:16,025 --> 00:05:17,568 I'm sick of this. 41 00:05:19,445 --> 00:05:21,322 Move along! Don't gawk! 42 00:05:22,615 --> 00:05:24,617 Close up your stands! 43 00:05:24,784 --> 00:05:26,869 Caesar's guest is due. 44 00:05:27,453 --> 00:05:30,498 Clear the street for the procession. 45 00:05:30,915 --> 00:05:33,084 Close your shops! 46 00:05:33,251 --> 00:05:34,794 Same thing every day! 47 00:05:35,545 --> 00:05:38,130 Him and his foreign guests ruin our sales! 48 00:05:38,297 --> 00:05:41,759 Always showin' off for bigwigs from Africa. 49 00:05:42,301 --> 00:05:43,301 And Gaul! 50 00:05:43,427 --> 00:05:44,637 Enough! 51 00:05:46,264 --> 00:05:49,809 Go tell Caesar your troubles. 52 00:05:49,976 --> 00:05:51,686 He's getting some new lions. 53 00:05:52,436 --> 00:05:53,521 Big ones! 54 00:05:54,564 --> 00:05:56,774 And I hear they're hungry! 55 00:05:56,941 --> 00:05:58,985 We'd better leave. 56 00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:17,503 Didn't you hear me? 57 00:06:18,754 --> 00:06:20,464 Clear the street! 58 00:06:20,631 --> 00:06:21,883 We just told you. 59 00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:25,469 I'm just gonna grab a bite to eat. 60 00:06:25,887 --> 00:06:27,221 See to this guy. 61 00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:30,391 Ok... Ok... 62 00:06:43,613 --> 00:06:46,574 The Consul will convert 63 00:06:46,741 --> 00:06:49,201 the Julian Severus Theater 64 00:06:49,368 --> 00:06:52,163 into a supermarket to increase government profits... 65 00:06:52,330 --> 00:06:53,664 - Camparius! - Americanus! 66 00:06:53,831 --> 00:06:56,667 Hot tea but hold the sugar! 67 00:06:58,586 --> 00:07:00,713 I'm on a diet. 68 00:07:01,672 --> 00:07:06,344 Tax will be the same for urban and provincial Romans 69 00:07:06,552 --> 00:07:08,012 enabling them 70 00:07:08,179 --> 00:07:12,600 to proudly share in the grandeur of Rome. 71 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,769 To hell with Rome! 72 00:07:15,519 --> 00:07:20,191 Arab emirs at the Congress of Oat-Producing Nations 73 00:07:20,358 --> 00:07:24,195 today announced a rise to 18 sesterces 74 00:07:24,362 --> 00:07:26,113 per quintal of grain. 75 00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:32,370 Many emirs are arriving for the festivities 76 00:07:32,536 --> 00:07:35,706 organized by mighty Caesar in honor 77 00:07:35,915 --> 00:07:37,041 of Cleopatra. 78 00:07:37,208 --> 00:07:39,126 Kill the boob tube! 79 00:07:39,543 --> 00:07:40,544 In Bethlehem... 80 00:07:40,711 --> 00:07:42,797 It's all bullshit! 81 00:07:43,339 --> 00:07:46,884 What'll become of us? The price of oats is up 82 00:07:47,051 --> 00:07:51,097 and this supermarket will ruin business! 83 00:07:51,263 --> 00:07:54,225 So have a glass of champagnus! 84 00:07:54,392 --> 00:07:55,518 Ya don't care? 85 00:07:55,685 --> 00:07:57,144 You bet I don't. 86 00:07:57,311 --> 00:08:01,399 If the supermarket puts you out of business 87 00:08:01,565 --> 00:08:05,987 and keeps deliveries from blockin' traffic, I won't mind! 88 00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:07,655 Slob! 89 00:08:07,822 --> 00:08:09,490 Hey, if you're so tough 90 00:08:09,699 --> 00:08:12,201 use your merchants' union! 91 00:08:12,368 --> 00:08:14,954 Sounds like a revolt's in the air! 92 00:08:15,746 --> 00:08:18,541 Paulus is needlin' us. Seen TV? 93 00:08:18,708 --> 00:08:20,459 Like everybody! 94 00:08:21,127 --> 00:08:22,712 We gotta stop 'em! 95 00:08:22,878 --> 00:08:24,213 Exactly! 96 00:08:24,380 --> 00:08:25,881 Know what I say? 97 00:08:26,549 --> 00:08:30,678 Caesar's the big bad wolf cuz the Romans are lambs! 98 00:08:31,095 --> 00:08:35,599 Caesar's a lion cuz the Romans are deers! 99 00:08:35,933 --> 00:08:37,601 - True! - Smart words! 100 00:08:37,810 --> 00:08:38,810 He's smart. 101 00:08:38,894 --> 00:08:40,521 Smart! But what else? 102 00:08:40,688 --> 00:08:42,606 So what else, smarty? 103 00:08:43,816 --> 00:08:46,569 I say we should let Caesar know 104 00:08:47,111 --> 00:08:49,196 that we're fed up! 105 00:08:50,656 --> 00:08:54,285 We should pick a strong-fisted leader 106 00:08:54,910 --> 00:08:57,329 who'll tell him so! 107 00:08:58,330 --> 00:09:02,251 That we're sick and tired and fed up! 108 00:09:02,418 --> 00:09:04,420 Right! Exactly! 109 00:09:05,171 --> 00:09:06,464 And it's you! 110 00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:07,465 What? 111 00:09:07,631 --> 00:09:09,300 The strong-fisted leader! 112 00:09:10,009 --> 00:09:12,094 President of the Merchants! 113 00:09:12,261 --> 00:09:13,304 But... 114 00:09:13,471 --> 00:09:16,140 We'll go see the Consul 115 00:09:16,307 --> 00:09:19,310 and let Ben-Hur Marcel speak for us all! 116 00:09:20,603 --> 00:09:23,355 And say it's the last straw! 117 00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:28,486 Be our leader, Ben-Hur Marcel! 118 00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:35,493 Ben-Hur Marcel's gonna talk to the Consul! 119 00:09:46,045 --> 00:09:51,008 Ben-Hur Marcel's gonna speak for us all! 120 00:10:14,949 --> 00:10:16,117 What is it? 121 00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:18,160 - The masses! - Well? 122 00:10:18,327 --> 00:10:20,871 They seem to be crabby, Consul. 123 00:10:40,474 --> 00:10:42,726 I got your message! 124 00:10:45,855 --> 00:10:47,148 Citizens! 125 00:10:47,565 --> 00:10:49,692 Do you want lower taxes? 126 00:10:51,819 --> 00:10:53,612 Work for all? 127 00:10:55,531 --> 00:10:57,491 An end to inflation? 128 00:10:58,993 --> 00:11:01,579 We can do nothing for now 129 00:11:01,745 --> 00:11:04,790 but as soon as we can, we'll double our efforts! 130 00:11:11,130 --> 00:11:14,425 Promises, promises! We want guarantees! 131 00:11:14,842 --> 00:11:15,885 Guarantees! 132 00:11:16,302 --> 00:11:18,137 They're being a drag. 133 00:11:18,596 --> 00:11:21,473 This can't go on! Rome is a democracy! 134 00:11:21,724 --> 00:11:23,309 We have rights! 135 00:11:30,608 --> 00:11:31,650 Who are you? 136 00:11:32,193 --> 00:11:35,571 Ben-Hur Marcel! Mechanic! Merchants' President! 137 00:11:36,447 --> 00:11:38,949 You're their leader? 138 00:11:39,116 --> 00:11:40,826 Too right, Dwight! 139 00:11:41,285 --> 00:11:42,285 So speak up! 140 00:11:42,745 --> 00:11:45,664 Things were fine till Caesar came. 141 00:11:45,831 --> 00:11:47,917 Then the shit hit the fan! 142 00:11:54,673 --> 00:11:57,092 Caesar bestrides the world! 143 00:11:57,259 --> 00:12:00,679 We trot between the giant legs like midgets. 144 00:12:02,139 --> 00:12:05,226 On what flesh does Caesar feed 145 00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:06,894 to become so great? 146 00:12:07,770 --> 00:12:10,856 Are Rome's walls to gird but one man? 147 00:12:11,065 --> 00:12:13,901 So we're fed up with Caesar! 148 00:12:17,529 --> 00:12:19,114 Me? 149 00:12:19,323 --> 00:12:20,908 Why not the others? 150 00:12:21,075 --> 00:12:22,660 You're alone, asshole! 151 00:12:28,165 --> 00:12:32,461 Listen, Demetrius Cassius Titus Marcus Et Ceterus... 152 00:12:32,628 --> 00:12:35,339 My designer miscut my pleats! 153 00:12:35,506 --> 00:12:39,176 I can't wear this rag to Caesar's Palace! 154 00:12:39,343 --> 00:12:42,554 I want him torn to shreds in the arena! 155 00:12:42,721 --> 00:12:44,014 A bloody ragdoll! 156 00:12:44,181 --> 00:12:45,432 Not in front of the guards... 157 00:12:45,599 --> 00:12:46,725 Screw the guards! 158 00:12:46,892 --> 00:12:50,354 Toss him in the arena with a trident in his torso! 159 00:12:50,562 --> 00:12:53,107 A sword slicing up his entrails! 160 00:12:53,274 --> 00:12:56,902 His bruised body in a net! His nose bashed! 161 00:12:57,069 --> 00:12:59,613 Enough of this! 162 00:12:59,780 --> 00:13:02,491 You've made me throw a plumber to the lions... 163 00:13:02,658 --> 00:13:04,118 Crucify a barber. 164 00:13:04,285 --> 00:13:06,787 - Indeed! - Now a dress designer? 165 00:13:06,954 --> 00:13:08,080 So? 166 00:13:12,543 --> 00:13:16,255 You're going to damage my popularity! 167 00:13:16,672 --> 00:13:19,717 Why did a nice Gallic gal like me marry a Roman? 168 00:13:20,759 --> 00:13:22,469 Now what? 169 00:13:23,137 --> 00:13:26,265 Hail. Demetrius Cassius Marcus Oct... 170 00:13:26,432 --> 00:13:27,850 Never mind! 171 00:13:28,684 --> 00:13:31,645 - Well? - Actually, in front of... 172 00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:35,107 What's with this make-believe macho? 173 00:13:35,274 --> 00:13:39,611 I'm the Consul's wife! I hear all that goes on here. 174 00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:43,407 Careful or you'll end up in the arena! 175 00:13:43,824 --> 00:13:45,409 Enough of that! 176 00:13:46,952 --> 00:13:47,786 Go on. 177 00:13:47,953 --> 00:13:49,580 It's your son... 178 00:13:49,747 --> 00:13:52,166 His son? MY son! What's wrong? 179 00:13:52,374 --> 00:13:55,878 He's dead! Hurt! Do something, you Roman! 180 00:13:56,295 --> 00:13:58,380 Give it a rest, Laetitia! 181 00:13:58,964 --> 00:13:59,964 My son? 182 00:14:00,299 --> 00:14:04,011 He was driving a chariot drunk. 183 00:14:04,178 --> 00:14:05,178 Jupiter be praised. 184 00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:06,472 The schmuck! 185 00:14:08,307 --> 00:14:09,641 Bring him to me. 186 00:14:10,142 --> 00:14:12,936 - The Highway Guards have him. - So? 187 00:14:13,103 --> 00:14:16,106 Highway Guards and Palace Guards don't... 188 00:14:18,233 --> 00:14:21,653 Free him! And tell the Highway Guards 189 00:14:21,820 --> 00:14:25,949 to shape up or I'll put a few in the arena! 190 00:14:26,492 --> 00:14:27,743 Finally! 191 00:14:27,910 --> 00:14:30,537 Go tend to your lace laurels! 192 00:15:00,984 --> 00:15:03,070 He really stuffs himself! 193 00:15:03,529 --> 00:15:05,989 3 or 4 every Sunday in the arena! 194 00:15:07,324 --> 00:15:08,826 Especially Greeks! 195 00:15:09,201 --> 00:15:13,205 He has a soft spot for Greeks. 196 00:15:13,997 --> 00:15:15,833 It must be their diet. 197 00:15:16,375 --> 00:15:19,253 Stuffed grape leaves, souvlaki... 198 00:15:19,461 --> 00:15:21,922 Greeks are tasty, eh, Lucien? 199 00:15:24,716 --> 00:15:28,178 It's odd... Turks eat like Greeks but... 200 00:15:28,345 --> 00:15:30,472 he's not hot for Turks. 201 00:15:31,223 --> 00:15:35,018 He doesn't like Spartans much. Too dry! 202 00:15:35,978 --> 00:15:39,148 He tears them up. 203 00:15:41,233 --> 00:15:45,279 He toys with their sandals but hardly eats a thing. 204 00:15:45,446 --> 00:15:47,739 Gauls are too pickled. 205 00:15:47,906 --> 00:15:52,035 He won't touch Biafrans. That's understandable. 206 00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:54,872 And Romans? 207 00:15:56,123 --> 00:15:58,876 He loves them for dessert. 208 00:15:59,334 --> 00:16:02,754 They're like rum cakes for him 209 00:16:02,921 --> 00:16:04,465 but he doesn't get many. 210 00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:08,302 Only skinny common criminals fed on 211 00:16:08,469 --> 00:16:09,636 dry bread. 212 00:16:09,803 --> 00:16:11,263 But you! 213 00:16:14,266 --> 00:16:15,809 You'll be a feast! 214 00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:18,687 Look... 215 00:16:19,605 --> 00:16:20,731 He's spotted you! 216 00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:25,068 He has a good eye. He knows who's who! 217 00:16:25,277 --> 00:16:27,070 We could make a deal. 218 00:16:28,530 --> 00:16:29,781 Listen, 219 00:16:29,948 --> 00:16:32,117 you let me knock you out 220 00:16:32,284 --> 00:16:34,786 and then fall so I can grab your keys. 221 00:16:34,953 --> 00:16:35,953 I'll pay! 222 00:16:36,205 --> 00:16:38,749 Let you escape? You're joking? 223 00:16:40,626 --> 00:16:43,879 Now I'm all for making a little cash. 224 00:16:44,046 --> 00:16:47,966 Civil servants' pay is low and fully declared. 225 00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:50,844 So if ya want extras... 226 00:16:51,011 --> 00:16:53,305 Having food brought in, 227 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:55,098 some packages... 228 00:16:55,307 --> 00:16:57,267 But no escape! 229 00:16:57,434 --> 00:17:00,437 I'd land in the arena in your place! 230 00:17:01,396 --> 00:17:05,567 Then again, Lucien wouldn't touch me. 231 00:17:06,568 --> 00:17:08,403 - Right, Lucien? - See! 232 00:17:08,612 --> 00:17:10,322 But the others! 233 00:17:10,489 --> 00:17:12,533 The gladiators! 234 00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:15,827 They're wild animals! They jab a trident 235 00:17:15,994 --> 00:17:18,747 down your throat and twist it! 236 00:17:18,914 --> 00:17:20,749 They lop off your hands! 237 00:17:21,833 --> 00:17:26,171 They bash heads with axes! It hurts! 238 00:17:26,338 --> 00:17:29,132 They leave you in the sun 239 00:17:29,299 --> 00:17:31,301 covered with honey and ants. 240 00:17:31,468 --> 00:17:35,556 Camels lick you while you slowly die, 241 00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:38,850 lying for hours in the hot sun. 242 00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:43,730 Right, I need to clean up the arena 243 00:17:43,939 --> 00:17:45,649 and scatter some sawdust. 244 00:17:45,816 --> 00:17:48,318 It's gonna be a bloody Sunday. 245 00:17:48,485 --> 00:17:50,237 Spurting blood! 246 00:17:52,447 --> 00:17:54,032 Calm down, Lucien! 247 00:17:55,492 --> 00:17:57,119 Be patient! 248 00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:01,290 Sunday he's yours! 249 00:18:04,001 --> 00:18:05,001 A plot? 250 00:18:05,085 --> 00:18:06,545 Plenty of them! 251 00:18:06,712 --> 00:18:10,090 But we can't check everybody's ID, 252 00:18:10,257 --> 00:18:12,217 frisk chariots, arrest students 253 00:18:12,384 --> 00:18:16,430 without arousing the masses who are baying for blood. 254 00:18:16,597 --> 00:18:19,683 So we'll organize our own plot. 255 00:18:19,850 --> 00:18:22,477 It'll also unmask rabble-rousers. 256 00:18:22,644 --> 00:18:26,607 Once Caesar survives our phony ambush, 257 00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:29,234 we can arrest plenty of suspects! 258 00:18:29,401 --> 00:18:32,070 Brilliant, Consul! We must hire 259 00:18:32,237 --> 00:18:34,323 a clever firebrand, loyal to us, 260 00:18:34,740 --> 00:18:35,782 of course. 261 00:18:37,242 --> 00:18:39,911 Don't you have an agent smart enough? 262 00:18:40,662 --> 00:18:41,662 Leave us! 263 00:18:41,705 --> 00:18:43,790 My men are just cops! 264 00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:46,376 No intelligent ones there! 265 00:18:48,712 --> 00:18:50,422 Or use someone very dumb! 266 00:18:50,589 --> 00:18:51,673 That'd do. 267 00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:53,467 That we can find! 268 00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:55,134 Hail, Deme... 269 00:18:55,218 --> 00:18:59,264 Stop hailing me all day! It gets on my nerves! 270 00:19:01,391 --> 00:19:02,476 Well? 271 00:19:03,185 --> 00:19:07,564 I got your son released from the Highway Guards. 272 00:19:08,357 --> 00:19:10,108 Look at that get-up! 273 00:19:10,734 --> 00:19:12,194 Go to your room. 274 00:19:15,989 --> 00:19:17,199 Don't smirk! 275 00:19:17,991 --> 00:19:21,161 Next time you'll stay in stir! 276 00:19:25,499 --> 00:19:26,625 And the town? 277 00:19:26,792 --> 00:19:28,502 All going swimmingly. 278 00:19:28,669 --> 00:19:31,880 Their ringleader is in prison. 279 00:19:32,547 --> 00:19:34,800 - People? - No worries! 280 00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:38,387 The guy was just a mechanic. 281 00:19:39,429 --> 00:19:42,391 It's a pity to feed him to a lion. 282 00:19:42,557 --> 00:19:46,228 He's the only good chariot mechanic in this damn town. 283 00:19:47,479 --> 00:19:51,358 Why in Hades are we here except to please 284 00:19:51,525 --> 00:19:53,527 a brainless emperor 285 00:19:53,735 --> 00:19:57,280 who in the meantime is... Sorry! 286 00:19:57,447 --> 00:19:58,990 My nerves are shot to hell. 287 00:19:59,157 --> 00:20:01,868 Yes, I know... You may go. 288 00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:12,087 Shitty Jupiter-damned cape of a half-assed uniform! 289 00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:16,550 The men are fed up with all this shit. 290 00:20:16,717 --> 00:20:18,135 All this... shit. 291 00:20:18,301 --> 00:20:20,429 That idiot gave me an idea. 292 00:20:23,473 --> 00:20:25,475 What's the mechanic's name? 293 00:20:25,642 --> 00:20:26,685 Ben-Hur Marcel. 294 00:20:26,852 --> 00:20:30,230 Not very Roman, but it's just as well. 295 00:20:31,022 --> 00:20:34,025 He's the man for our phony conspiracy. 296 00:20:34,609 --> 00:20:36,278 Everyone heard him. 297 00:20:36,445 --> 00:20:37,446 He's in jail now, 298 00:20:37,612 --> 00:20:39,614 for plotting against Caesar! 299 00:20:39,781 --> 00:20:41,825 Brilliant, Consul! 300 00:20:55,797 --> 00:20:58,967 She reigns over Egypt 301 00:20:59,134 --> 00:21:02,137 Each pyramid and crypt 302 00:21:02,304 --> 00:21:04,306 Sings the praises 303 00:21:04,473 --> 00:21:08,727 Of her ancestors the Pharaohs 304 00:21:09,311 --> 00:21:12,355 Neath the skies of Egypta 305 00:21:12,522 --> 00:21:15,984 There grows the calyptra 306 00:21:16,151 --> 00:21:19,738 Amid blossoms and rocks 307 00:21:19,905 --> 00:21:22,824 Glide swans and peacocks 308 00:21:30,123 --> 00:21:31,750 Let Asskisserus pass! 309 00:21:31,958 --> 00:21:36,171 Hail to the envoy of Consul Demetrius! 310 00:21:40,050 --> 00:21:43,094 Keep your own nose, dear Queen. 311 00:21:43,261 --> 00:21:47,349 One too long could change the face of the world. 312 00:21:48,308 --> 00:21:51,728 Divine Cleopatra, may the Gods help me 313 00:21:51,895 --> 00:21:53,730 to convince 314 00:21:53,897 --> 00:21:58,026 Your Luminous Majesty that although 315 00:21:58,193 --> 00:22:02,322 mighty Caesar holds the fate of the world in his hands, 316 00:22:02,864 --> 00:22:05,116 yet in the provinces as the Gauls say 317 00:22:05,283 --> 00:22:07,744 "Though smart as foxes, we're not oxes!" 318 00:22:10,872 --> 00:22:13,959 Rahat-Locum is not like Imperial Rome 319 00:22:14,125 --> 00:22:16,503 where roads are broad and wide, 320 00:22:17,170 --> 00:22:20,006 suitable for processions. 321 00:22:20,590 --> 00:22:22,133 Asskisserus, you windbag! 322 00:22:22,551 --> 00:22:25,178 Full of hot air! 323 00:22:25,345 --> 00:22:27,097 But, divine Cleopatra! 324 00:22:28,723 --> 00:22:32,477 Rahat-Locum is a tiny town of narrow alleys 325 00:22:32,644 --> 00:22:36,022 and difficult, twisting, sandy streets. 326 00:22:36,439 --> 00:22:38,024 Majestic Luminosity... 327 00:22:38,191 --> 00:22:41,278 Your Luminous Majesty should 328 00:22:41,486 --> 00:22:43,530 use the express highway. 329 00:22:44,072 --> 00:22:45,657 Am I dreaming? 330 00:22:47,367 --> 00:22:52,080 Tell your Emperor the Queen of Egypt makes the laws! 331 00:22:52,747 --> 00:22:57,586 Pyramid builders don't use express highways 332 00:22:57,752 --> 00:23:00,714 amid Roman delivery chariots! 333 00:23:01,965 --> 00:23:04,968 I'll use Rahat-Locum's main avenue. 334 00:23:05,135 --> 00:23:10,348 If it's not wide enough, tell mighty Caesar 335 00:23:11,141 --> 00:23:13,476 to raze half the city! 336 00:23:14,603 --> 00:23:15,812 Like this! 337 00:23:16,271 --> 00:23:17,439 Is that clear? 338 00:23:18,148 --> 00:23:19,148 But, Majesty... 339 00:23:19,274 --> 00:23:21,109 Remove this ass 340 00:23:21,318 --> 00:23:23,111 and his building blocks! 341 00:23:24,070 --> 00:23:29,242 I only express the orders of the Consul who is not too smart. 342 00:23:30,118 --> 00:23:33,705 It's awful having to work for such a dope! 343 00:23:34,873 --> 00:23:38,251 If I could serve a sovereign like you, 344 00:23:38,418 --> 00:23:41,838 Luminous Majesty! Majestic Luminosity! 345 00:23:53,975 --> 00:23:57,520 Musculus! Bicepsus! Tricepsus! 346 00:23:57,687 --> 00:24:01,024 Dorsus dorsalum! Dorsus pectorus! 347 00:24:08,031 --> 00:24:11,368 Musculus bicepsus! Tricepsus et pectorem! 348 00:24:12,410 --> 00:24:14,245 Who's the little dark man? 349 00:24:14,412 --> 00:24:16,081 - Dark? - Pudgy? 350 00:24:16,247 --> 00:24:17,624 The dark pudgy one. 351 00:24:17,791 --> 00:24:19,084 Juvenius, Consul. 352 00:24:19,250 --> 00:24:20,377 Juvenius! 353 00:24:20,543 --> 00:24:22,087 He trains badly. 354 00:24:22,587 --> 00:24:24,255 He should be punished. 355 00:24:24,422 --> 00:24:26,341 Indeed, Caesar. You heard? 356 00:24:27,175 --> 00:24:30,095 I'll cast him into the arena 357 00:24:30,595 --> 00:24:31,680 next Sunday! 358 00:24:31,846 --> 00:24:33,682 Caesar's hard but fair. 359 00:24:33,848 --> 00:24:38,103 He must be punished but not in the arena. 360 00:24:38,728 --> 00:24:40,605 Put him on night duty. 361 00:24:41,147 --> 00:24:43,817 As you wish, great Caesar. 362 00:24:43,984 --> 00:24:48,655 He'll stand guard for a week at the North Gate 363 00:24:49,864 --> 00:24:51,616 where nights are harshest. 364 00:24:51,783 --> 00:24:56,162 You're the harsh one! Don't be so severe. 365 00:24:56,329 --> 00:25:00,375 Post him outside my room tomorrow night. 366 00:25:02,293 --> 00:25:03,920 Do as you're told. 367 00:25:04,087 --> 00:25:07,340 Add a man in case he goes off duty. 368 00:25:07,507 --> 00:25:08,925 He wouldn't dare! 369 00:25:09,092 --> 00:25:10,844 You schmuck. 370 00:25:11,344 --> 00:25:15,348 Do it or you'll end up in a lion's belly. 371 00:25:15,849 --> 00:25:17,058 Yes, Consul. 372 00:25:18,184 --> 00:25:21,521 Come with me. We have serious matters to discuss. 373 00:25:32,699 --> 00:25:36,870 Demetrius, baby, just who is this Cleopatra? 374 00:25:37,037 --> 00:25:38,121 A savage? 375 00:25:38,288 --> 00:25:41,166 They say she's a woman of power. 376 00:25:41,666 --> 00:25:43,752 Girl-scout type? 377 00:25:43,918 --> 00:25:47,797 No. Dictatorial but fairly feminine. 378 00:25:47,964 --> 00:25:49,424 How ghastly! 379 00:25:49,591 --> 00:25:51,801 But for the good of Rome we must 380 00:25:51,968 --> 00:25:54,637 give her a perfect reception. 381 00:25:57,307 --> 00:25:59,726 What do you think of these? 382 00:26:00,310 --> 00:26:03,229 My costumes for the festivities! 383 00:26:03,396 --> 00:26:05,565 Very gay! I hope it's sunny. 384 00:26:06,566 --> 00:26:08,485 I want fabulous games! 385 00:26:08,651 --> 00:26:11,279 Chariot races, gladiators... 386 00:26:11,446 --> 00:26:16,659 I want gladiators who are big, handsome and virile and all... 387 00:26:16,951 --> 00:26:21,164 plus 2 or 3 not too big, not too skinny. 388 00:26:21,331 --> 00:26:22,582 Some pudgies. 389 00:26:22,749 --> 00:26:26,878 As you wish. But I'd like to talk politics. 390 00:26:28,171 --> 00:26:30,548 Politics! That bores me to tears! 391 00:26:30,715 --> 00:26:34,052 I'm busy preparing for the Armenian! 392 00:26:34,219 --> 00:26:35,219 Egyptian! 393 00:26:35,303 --> 00:26:37,514 If you say so... Egyptian! 394 00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:41,976 Must I worry about politics as well? 395 00:26:42,393 --> 00:26:46,689 Noble Caesar, the people are discontent. 396 00:26:47,482 --> 00:26:50,235 People! What are the people? 397 00:26:50,652 --> 00:26:52,195 Plumbers and maids! 398 00:26:52,362 --> 00:26:56,658 Must I reign for the people? 399 00:26:56,825 --> 00:26:59,369 Aside from them is everyone else happy? 400 00:26:59,536 --> 00:27:01,204 Absolutely. 401 00:27:01,371 --> 00:27:04,749 So let's run the country with the decent people! 402 00:27:05,458 --> 00:27:07,210 That's impossible. 403 00:27:07,752 --> 00:27:10,213 Revolt is sprouting everywhere. 404 00:27:10,755 --> 00:27:14,884 Each day state officials, judges, centurions, 405 00:27:15,510 --> 00:27:18,888 tax collectors are attacked by the Purple Brigades. 406 00:27:19,514 --> 00:27:22,517 Public buildings are damaged daily. 407 00:27:25,145 --> 00:27:26,354 Just look! 408 00:27:27,355 --> 00:27:28,815 The Courthouse... 409 00:27:29,649 --> 00:27:31,276 The Tax Center... 410 00:27:32,026 --> 00:27:33,570 The Circus... 411 00:27:33,736 --> 00:27:35,697 They've all been hit! 412 00:27:36,114 --> 00:27:39,576 The Purple Brigades even smashed your statue. 413 00:27:39,742 --> 00:27:41,161 Good! 414 00:27:41,327 --> 00:27:43,121 I hated the outfit I was wearing. 415 00:27:43,288 --> 00:27:45,290 I'll have it redone, 416 00:27:45,456 --> 00:27:50,420 with pleats down the front and a much fuller cut. 417 00:27:50,587 --> 00:27:51,587 Take measures. 418 00:27:51,671 --> 00:27:53,256 Send me my sculptor. 419 00:27:53,423 --> 00:27:55,008 Political measures! 420 00:27:55,175 --> 00:27:58,261 Be an angel and see to all that! 421 00:27:58,428 --> 00:27:59,262 And also... 422 00:27:59,429 --> 00:28:02,140 Hush! That's enough! 423 00:28:02,849 --> 00:28:07,478 Having an empire's fine but I want my privacy too! 424 00:28:08,688 --> 00:28:10,857 Have I no right to live? 425 00:28:11,065 --> 00:28:13,067 The state... The Empire... 426 00:28:13,526 --> 00:28:15,486 Listen to me, noble Caesar! 427 00:28:15,653 --> 00:28:19,741 Our economy needs an alliance with Egypt. 428 00:28:20,658 --> 00:28:22,619 Couldn't you take... 429 00:28:23,661 --> 00:28:25,580 advantage of her visit... 430 00:28:26,581 --> 00:28:29,042 and offer to wed Cleopatra? 431 00:28:29,876 --> 00:28:33,379 Wed? What do you mean? Marriage? 432 00:28:33,546 --> 00:28:36,341 Only for political reasons! 433 00:28:36,507 --> 00:28:38,343 You wouldn't have to... 434 00:28:39,510 --> 00:28:42,680 What? He's lost his mind! 435 00:28:42,847 --> 00:28:44,766 Me? Wed an Ethiopian? 436 00:28:44,933 --> 00:28:46,184 Egyptian... 437 00:28:46,559 --> 00:28:49,729 Sweetie, I know you're devoted to me, 438 00:28:49,896 --> 00:28:54,108 fussing over the Empire, but you need a rest! 439 00:28:54,275 --> 00:28:58,321 I mean, really! Frankly, you've flipped! 440 00:29:00,990 --> 00:29:05,870 Me with a broad and bawling brats? A nightmare! 441 00:29:07,038 --> 00:29:09,040 Ciao, Consul baby. 442 00:29:10,291 --> 00:29:12,001 That's too funny! 443 00:29:12,168 --> 00:29:14,295 Go, home, have some herb tea 444 00:29:16,339 --> 00:29:17,924 and go beddy-byes! 445 00:29:18,591 --> 00:29:22,178 I can't get over it! He said "wed"! 446 00:29:22,553 --> 00:29:25,682 Of all things! 447 00:29:25,848 --> 00:29:29,560 I never heard anything so silly! 448 00:30:19,569 --> 00:30:20,695 What's Caesar like? 449 00:30:20,903 --> 00:30:22,947 They say he's very strong. 450 00:30:23,364 --> 00:30:24,741 I mean as a person. 451 00:30:25,366 --> 00:30:27,201 Chic with class. 452 00:30:28,077 --> 00:30:29,287 That helps! 453 00:30:29,454 --> 00:30:32,290 A good host. Nouvelle cuisine, etc. 454 00:30:32,498 --> 00:30:36,169 10,000 miles for pickled dormice in strawberry jam! 455 00:30:38,421 --> 00:30:40,923 For the grandeur of Egypt, 456 00:30:41,299 --> 00:30:43,760 I hope we win the chariot races. 457 00:31:02,445 --> 00:31:03,445 Leave us! 458 00:31:06,574 --> 00:31:07,700 Come. 459 00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:13,247 Sit down. 460 00:31:20,713 --> 00:31:22,215 ID file... 461 00:31:22,590 --> 00:31:25,676 "Ben-Hur Marcel. 32. Merchant Union President." 462 00:31:27,678 --> 00:31:29,180 A subversive group? 463 00:31:29,347 --> 00:31:33,184 We're only merchants who organize 464 00:31:33,351 --> 00:31:37,563 special 2-week sales with prizes and so on. 465 00:31:38,022 --> 00:31:39,107 They say 466 00:31:39,315 --> 00:31:40,983 you're a rebel 467 00:31:41,526 --> 00:31:43,778 who criticizes the Empire 468 00:31:44,195 --> 00:31:47,240 and that you're ready to strike at Caesar. 469 00:31:48,408 --> 00:31:51,869 It happened once... cuz they pushed me. 470 00:31:52,036 --> 00:31:53,579 Never mind. 471 00:31:53,788 --> 00:31:55,164 I like that. 472 00:31:56,874 --> 00:31:58,459 I need a man like you. 473 00:32:00,753 --> 00:32:03,756 You know of plots against Caesar? 474 00:32:03,923 --> 00:32:07,635 Being in business, I hear folks talk. 475 00:32:08,386 --> 00:32:12,849 Some say, "Kick him out on his ass!" 476 00:32:13,015 --> 00:32:16,102 Or "Let's crucify him!" 477 00:32:16,269 --> 00:32:18,521 "Perch him on a pyramid!" 478 00:32:19,272 --> 00:32:22,567 But I've never heard of a plot. 479 00:32:22,733 --> 00:32:24,235 You'll organize one. 480 00:32:24,402 --> 00:32:25,570 A plot? 481 00:32:26,946 --> 00:32:29,031 You and your merchants 482 00:32:29,574 --> 00:32:32,118 will plan a conspiracy for me. 483 00:32:32,285 --> 00:32:33,536 A conspiracy? 484 00:32:34,412 --> 00:32:35,872 Against Caesar! 485 00:32:37,290 --> 00:32:40,168 I'm not interested. 486 00:32:40,793 --> 00:32:42,753 It's not my thing. 487 00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:46,090 Makin' fun of Caesar and sayin'... 488 00:32:46,257 --> 00:32:49,886 "That shit-face? When he coughs, it's a fart!" 489 00:32:51,262 --> 00:32:55,391 That's one thing but... I mean... Sorry. 490 00:32:55,558 --> 00:32:56,558 Sorry... 491 00:32:57,268 --> 00:32:58,978 No conspiracies! 492 00:32:59,145 --> 00:33:04,317 You must have specialists who'd love to do it. 493 00:33:04,859 --> 00:33:06,819 We're amateurs! We'd slow you down. 494 00:33:06,986 --> 00:33:09,238 You have no choice. 495 00:33:10,198 --> 00:33:14,494 You do it or it's... Sunday with Lucien! 496 00:33:15,578 --> 00:33:18,414 In that case, I can handle it fine. 497 00:33:19,540 --> 00:33:21,584 Some conspirators meet 498 00:33:21,751 --> 00:33:24,795 nightly in the catacombs. 499 00:33:24,962 --> 00:33:29,217 If our friend Ben-Hur Marcel were to contact them... 500 00:33:29,383 --> 00:33:31,552 Good idea! You'll go there 501 00:33:31,761 --> 00:33:33,930 and infiltrate the terrorists. 502 00:33:34,764 --> 00:33:36,516 Then report to us 503 00:33:36,724 --> 00:33:37,558 and I'll decide. 504 00:33:37,725 --> 00:33:42,522 Yes but... what if they don't want me? 505 00:33:43,231 --> 00:33:44,482 Lucien! 506 00:33:44,899 --> 00:33:47,527 I see. Ok... 507 00:34:44,333 --> 00:34:45,543 Here we are. 508 00:34:45,710 --> 00:34:46,877 What do I owe you? 509 00:34:48,129 --> 00:34:49,380 8 sesterces. 510 00:34:53,509 --> 00:34:54,510 Thanks. 511 00:35:37,678 --> 00:35:38,763 Ok, Lucette? 512 00:35:38,929 --> 00:35:40,598 Some guys are kooks! 513 00:35:57,365 --> 00:35:58,741 Well, baby? 514 00:35:59,408 --> 00:36:00,534 How much? 515 00:36:00,701 --> 00:36:03,120 20 in the chariot, 25 out. 516 00:36:03,287 --> 00:36:04,287 Son of a bitch! 517 00:36:04,372 --> 00:36:05,373 Pardon me? 518 00:36:05,539 --> 00:36:07,583 Givin' me a hard time? 519 00:36:07,750 --> 00:36:09,669 I don't give it away! 520 00:36:10,753 --> 00:36:13,047 Yeah... Ok. 521 00:36:37,905 --> 00:36:40,533 You're cute but I can't take anymore! 522 00:36:42,535 --> 00:36:43,953 Going, dolls? 523 00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:46,205 We're washed out! 524 00:36:46,831 --> 00:36:48,165 From the baths! 525 00:36:48,332 --> 00:36:50,292 Time for bed, Crocus! 526 00:36:50,459 --> 00:36:51,961 See you, sweetie! 527 00:36:52,211 --> 00:36:54,922 A closet queen with a mask! 528 00:36:55,131 --> 00:36:56,131 Hi, you! 529 00:36:56,215 --> 00:36:57,675 Hi, Reginus! 530 00:37:00,261 --> 00:37:01,261 Good crowd? 531 00:37:01,303 --> 00:37:03,139 Wild! Come in! 532 00:37:03,305 --> 00:37:05,141 Here already, baby? 533 00:37:10,062 --> 00:37:14,150 Here we do as we please! No one'll deck us! 534 00:37:16,569 --> 00:37:20,906 We hug and squeeze In our homosexualis discothecus 535 00:37:23,284 --> 00:37:27,747 Let the disco play! Come shake your plexus! 536 00:37:29,999 --> 00:37:34,503 It's all very gay In the Homo-Disco-Texus! 537 00:38:40,986 --> 00:38:45,449 Citizen! Got 2 or 3 sesterces for a drink? 538 00:38:45,616 --> 00:38:48,369 How do I get into the catacombs? 539 00:38:48,536 --> 00:38:50,079 The door's not far. 540 00:38:50,246 --> 00:38:54,917 Careful! Some odd guys hang out there. 541 00:39:24,446 --> 00:39:25,990 'Night, dolls! 542 00:39:26,156 --> 00:39:27,199 'Night, Ma! 543 00:39:28,325 --> 00:39:29,910 Take care. 544 00:39:33,330 --> 00:39:34,874 Hello, you! 545 00:39:36,166 --> 00:39:40,379 Hi, ladies'n'gents! I'm lookin' for friends. 546 00:39:40,546 --> 00:39:42,256 But I don't know... 547 00:39:42,423 --> 00:39:44,383 They said I'd find... 548 00:39:44,550 --> 00:39:48,721 They're here to plan something special. 549 00:39:48,929 --> 00:39:50,973 Yes, it's special! 550 00:39:51,140 --> 00:39:53,100 I don't know if... 551 00:39:53,309 --> 00:39:55,102 it's in the catacombs. 552 00:39:55,269 --> 00:39:56,312 Well, it's... 553 00:39:56,520 --> 00:39:59,523 downstairs. Care to take a peek? 554 00:40:00,608 --> 00:40:01,608 Come in! 555 00:40:02,276 --> 00:40:05,321 What's wrong, kitten? Shy? 556 00:40:05,487 --> 00:40:08,782 No, but they said it was a secret. 557 00:40:08,991 --> 00:40:11,285 It's not secret! 558 00:40:11,452 --> 00:40:14,538 It's just discreet. But everyone knows. 559 00:40:15,706 --> 00:40:17,875 Cops come here too! 560 00:40:20,502 --> 00:40:24,256 Hello, fellas! Hi, men! 561 00:40:24,423 --> 00:40:28,177 Go on in! What a dodo! 562 00:41:04,129 --> 00:41:06,882 What'll it be, kitten. Champagne? 563 00:41:07,049 --> 00:41:08,175 Right. 564 00:41:11,512 --> 00:41:13,806 Shit! Here, kitten! 565 00:41:39,707 --> 00:41:40,541 'Evening! 566 00:41:40,708 --> 00:41:41,875 Hi! 567 00:41:43,752 --> 00:41:45,337 Are they all conspirators? 568 00:41:46,046 --> 00:41:47,214 Pardon? 569 00:41:47,381 --> 00:41:49,633 They're all conspirators? 570 00:41:49,800 --> 00:41:50,884 What? 571 00:41:52,011 --> 00:41:53,387 They all are? 572 00:41:54,638 --> 00:41:55,681 Sure! 573 00:41:58,142 --> 00:41:59,893 And you too? 574 00:42:00,894 --> 00:42:02,187 You're one too? 575 00:42:02,646 --> 00:42:04,565 Isn't that obvious? 576 00:42:05,983 --> 00:42:08,777 Come on. I can't hear... 577 00:42:12,573 --> 00:42:15,617 You don't look like one. 578 00:42:16,577 --> 00:42:19,538 I haven't been for long. 579 00:42:19,705 --> 00:42:21,665 I'm not really one yet. 580 00:42:22,332 --> 00:42:25,252 I want to but I don't know where to begin. 581 00:42:25,419 --> 00:42:28,839 It's easy! I can show you the ropes. 582 00:42:30,090 --> 00:42:34,928 That's kind. This wasn't my idea but a guy forced me into it. 583 00:42:35,387 --> 00:42:39,349 But now you're willing to participate? 584 00:42:39,850 --> 00:42:42,686 Sure! But I'm not really active. 585 00:42:44,271 --> 00:42:46,857 Can't passive roles be fun too? 586 00:42:47,274 --> 00:42:50,360 Let the others do all the work. 587 00:42:51,195 --> 00:42:52,696 That'd suit me! 588 00:42:53,113 --> 00:42:56,366 But I could give a helping hand. 589 00:42:56,533 --> 00:42:59,870 It's just I don't have the knack. 590 00:43:01,288 --> 00:43:03,123 Don't worry. 591 00:43:03,290 --> 00:43:05,501 Everything will be made easy for you. 592 00:43:06,919 --> 00:43:09,588 That'd be nice! 593 00:43:10,756 --> 00:43:11,756 Shall we dance? 594 00:43:11,840 --> 00:43:12,674 Sure. 595 00:43:12,841 --> 00:43:13,967 Come on. 596 00:43:52,965 --> 00:43:54,758 What's wrong? 597 00:43:54,925 --> 00:43:56,969 They can't stand. 598 00:43:57,427 --> 00:43:59,888 This fool made them smoke! 599 00:44:00,848 --> 00:44:05,269 My arrival was scheduled for 5 PM. 600 00:44:05,644 --> 00:44:07,187 It's 2 AM! 601 00:44:07,354 --> 00:44:09,106 I know, my Queen! 602 00:44:09,273 --> 00:44:11,233 What does our guide say? 603 00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:15,237 Oh, him! Hasch-Minafer! 604 00:44:16,572 --> 00:44:20,701 Cleopatra's the most beautiful! She's the best! 605 00:44:21,910 --> 00:44:25,956 What have I done to Osiris to deserve this? 606 00:44:26,123 --> 00:44:28,959 Draw and quarter him at once! 607 00:44:29,793 --> 00:44:35,007 I can't alone but once the guards wake, I'll do my best. 608 00:45:20,469 --> 00:45:21,511 Like it? 609 00:45:21,678 --> 00:45:24,223 Nice... But a bit sissyish. 610 00:45:25,933 --> 00:45:27,851 He's so funny! 611 00:45:28,018 --> 00:45:30,729 - Make yourself comfortable! - I'm fine. 612 00:45:30,896 --> 00:45:32,314 Thirsty? 613 00:45:32,481 --> 00:45:33,899 Champagne. 614 00:45:47,746 --> 00:45:48,997 It's good. 615 00:46:14,898 --> 00:46:18,110 We need to decide who does what. 616 00:46:19,027 --> 00:46:20,362 Sit down. 617 00:46:30,289 --> 00:46:31,915 Relax. 618 00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:35,794 Let's not rush things. 619 00:46:35,961 --> 00:46:37,796 We've plenty of time. 620 00:46:38,005 --> 00:46:40,590 I'd rather work fast. 621 00:46:40,757 --> 00:46:42,634 Pick the right moment and... bang! 622 00:46:42,843 --> 00:46:44,720 You're hot stuff... 623 00:46:44,928 --> 00:46:47,180 The 1st part is hard but... 624 00:46:47,347 --> 00:46:50,434 once we begin, we have to go all the way. 625 00:46:51,184 --> 00:46:53,312 And no improvising! 626 00:46:53,478 --> 00:46:56,273 Just a little? 627 00:46:56,481 --> 00:46:59,735 With an ordinary customer, maybe. 628 00:46:59,901 --> 00:47:03,280 But with Caesar, it has to be done just right. 629 00:47:05,073 --> 00:47:06,158 You know? 630 00:47:08,118 --> 00:47:09,118 I see you do. 631 00:47:17,461 --> 00:47:18,461 This can go. 632 00:47:23,675 --> 00:47:26,928 True, Caesar is an exceptional person, 633 00:47:27,095 --> 00:47:30,349 yet he's a man like all others. 634 00:47:30,515 --> 00:47:35,103 In certain realms, he must be treated only 635 00:47:35,270 --> 00:47:38,565 as a man and nothing more. 636 00:47:39,524 --> 00:47:41,735 For Man... 637 00:47:41,902 --> 00:47:43,528 Man is weak, 638 00:47:43,695 --> 00:47:44,696 my young patrician. 639 00:47:44,863 --> 00:47:47,532 True, it's not his fault 640 00:47:47,741 --> 00:47:50,243 but a question of mentality. 641 00:47:50,452 --> 00:47:54,206 But once Man is aware of his weakness, 642 00:47:54,373 --> 00:47:57,209 aware of his frailty 643 00:47:57,376 --> 00:48:01,213 and aware of his ugliness... 644 00:48:01,380 --> 00:48:06,551 For he is ugly! Man is ugly! 645 00:48:06,718 --> 00:48:08,970 - You do agree? - Yeah! 646 00:48:09,388 --> 00:48:11,723 Oh, thankless Nature 647 00:48:11,890 --> 00:48:15,227 who had Man modeled 648 00:48:15,394 --> 00:48:19,689 in the image of strength rather than grace! 649 00:48:19,856 --> 00:48:24,236 All that is male is force and ugliness. 650 00:48:24,403 --> 00:48:26,780 Walls. Rocks. Swords! 651 00:48:26,947 --> 00:48:29,908 Whereas all that is female 652 00:48:30,075 --> 00:48:33,245 is gentleness and tenderness. 653 00:48:33,412 --> 00:48:36,540 Flowers. Rivers. Music! 654 00:48:36,706 --> 00:48:40,252 You're too young, my young patrician, 655 00:48:40,419 --> 00:48:45,465 to have known Woman in all her splendor. 656 00:48:45,632 --> 00:48:47,884 Sure, but I get by. 657 00:48:52,931 --> 00:48:55,475 What poet, 658 00:48:55,684 --> 00:48:58,478 with tragic lucidity, 659 00:48:58,645 --> 00:49:03,733 will describe the male in all his horror? 660 00:49:03,900 --> 00:49:05,777 It's a horror. 661 00:49:06,528 --> 00:49:08,447 All of this is a horror! 662 00:49:08,613 --> 00:49:12,451 Head! Arm! Leg! Horrors! 663 00:49:12,617 --> 00:49:16,705 - A man's leg is ghastly, isn't it? - Yeah! 664 00:49:17,747 --> 00:49:20,584 Is an arm beautiful? 665 00:49:20,750 --> 00:49:23,920 And breastless torsos! 666 00:49:24,087 --> 00:49:25,881 They're unbearable! 667 00:49:26,047 --> 00:49:29,176 Oh, heinous partition! 668 00:49:29,342 --> 00:49:32,137 Oh, infamous distribution! 669 00:49:32,304 --> 00:49:36,099 Only Woman was given all by the Gods! 670 00:49:36,516 --> 00:49:40,896 Woman is a copy of Man, 671 00:49:41,062 --> 00:49:44,941 but we are only a caricature! 672 00:49:45,108 --> 00:49:49,988 For we men are... 673 00:49:52,407 --> 00:49:53,950 We are... 674 00:49:55,827 --> 00:49:57,913 We are ugly! 675 00:49:58,205 --> 00:50:00,373 We're so ugly! 676 00:50:01,041 --> 00:50:05,629 Now you see that though his power be great, 677 00:50:06,505 --> 00:50:07,923 Caesar is nothing but... 678 00:50:08,089 --> 00:50:11,801 Caesar is nothing but a poor little guy 679 00:50:12,844 --> 00:50:14,221 Poor little guy! 680 00:50:14,429 --> 00:50:18,850 Don't exaggerate! He's still Emperor of Rome. 681 00:50:19,017 --> 00:50:21,770 He's not just anybody! 682 00:50:21,937 --> 00:50:24,356 He's guarded! It'll be hard 683 00:50:24,523 --> 00:50:26,274 to stab him in the mug 684 00:50:26,483 --> 00:50:27,943 or blow up his ass! 685 00:50:28,818 --> 00:50:31,363 But who'd want to do that? 686 00:50:32,113 --> 00:50:34,449 Stab his face 687 00:50:34,616 --> 00:50:36,117 or blow up his behind? 688 00:50:36,326 --> 00:50:38,161 Who? Us! 689 00:50:39,037 --> 00:50:41,498 Aren't we plotting to kill Caesar? 690 00:50:42,040 --> 00:50:43,208 Am I dreaming? 691 00:50:43,959 --> 00:50:47,295 It'll be hard to corner him. 692 00:50:47,462 --> 00:50:51,841 But once we get him, we can choose 693 00:50:52,008 --> 00:50:56,054 poison, stabbing, drowning in his bath, 694 00:50:56,221 --> 00:51:00,267 smothering or whatever we decide. 695 00:51:00,475 --> 00:51:02,269 Later we forget we ever met! 696 00:51:02,435 --> 00:51:03,728 Yes! 697 00:51:03,895 --> 00:51:05,855 Centurion! Guards! 698 00:51:06,064 --> 00:51:07,357 - Help! - Caesar! 699 00:51:07,566 --> 00:51:09,401 Arrest him! 700 00:51:09,568 --> 00:51:13,071 This hoodlum wants to kill me! To the dungeons with him! 701 00:51:13,238 --> 00:51:14,656 It's not me... 702 00:51:14,823 --> 00:51:15,824 Mr. Caesar! 703 00:51:15,991 --> 00:51:18,827 To the arena! To the lions! 704 00:51:19,828 --> 00:51:22,789 Hold me up, angels. I feel dizzy! 705 00:51:22,956 --> 00:51:24,791 He wants to kill me 706 00:51:25,000 --> 00:51:27,127 with a sword! 707 00:51:27,877 --> 00:51:31,756 Put me on the cushions! 708 00:51:32,757 --> 00:51:35,135 I'm going to faint! 709 00:51:35,302 --> 00:51:37,971 Give me some air, baby! 710 00:51:44,978 --> 00:51:48,064 Watch the arch! We can't go under it. 711 00:51:48,523 --> 00:51:50,483 It's too low. 712 00:51:53,403 --> 00:51:56,656 What'll I look like now, 713 00:51:56,823 --> 00:51:59,117 arriving at Caesar's court this way? 714 00:51:59,284 --> 00:52:02,162 All the Roman Empire is watching me. 715 00:52:02,370 --> 00:52:04,205 Not at this hour. 716 00:52:08,126 --> 00:52:10,962 We can't get through there either. 717 00:52:15,300 --> 00:52:16,300 There! 718 00:52:16,343 --> 00:52:18,053 I told you so! 719 00:52:25,310 --> 00:52:30,065 Smear honey on these bearers and throw them to the ants! 720 00:52:30,231 --> 00:52:31,231 I'll do it. 721 00:52:31,274 --> 00:52:33,818 Once we find some honey. 722 00:52:36,321 --> 00:52:37,947 Bravo! 723 00:52:38,114 --> 00:52:40,867 Where's the principal street? 724 00:52:41,034 --> 00:52:42,243 For who? 725 00:52:42,410 --> 00:52:44,412 - For everyone! - For me, 726 00:52:44,621 --> 00:52:49,417 the principal street has the most bars 727 00:52:49,584 --> 00:52:52,212 but that one's the chic street. 728 00:52:54,422 --> 00:52:56,591 Where are they going? 729 00:52:56,758 --> 00:52:58,468 Straight ahead! 730 00:52:58,635 --> 00:53:00,178 By Osiris! Straight! 731 00:53:00,387 --> 00:53:04,182 They don't understand a thing. Shit! 732 00:53:05,684 --> 00:53:09,771 Not straight! Turn! 733 00:53:10,689 --> 00:53:12,524 Turn! 734 00:53:12,691 --> 00:53:14,317 Turn! 735 00:53:16,695 --> 00:53:19,614 Drawn and quartered! 736 00:53:19,823 --> 00:53:23,326 And thrown to the pigs! 737 00:53:35,714 --> 00:53:36,881 Patrician, 738 00:53:37,090 --> 00:53:39,092 could you help Cleopatra? 739 00:53:39,259 --> 00:53:40,844 Certainly! 740 00:53:41,052 --> 00:53:43,221 Just do as I say. 741 00:53:43,430 --> 00:53:47,517 Forward! Straight ahead! 742 00:53:47,684 --> 00:53:52,188 - The wall! - Now turn! Stop! 743 00:53:54,023 --> 00:53:55,316 Imbeciles! 744 00:53:55,525 --> 00:53:56,735 Morons! 745 00:53:56,901 --> 00:53:58,403 It's fate. 746 00:53:58,570 --> 00:54:01,489 To hell with fate! 747 00:54:04,492 --> 00:54:06,953 This is too much! 748 00:54:08,538 --> 00:54:10,707 I spent 3 hours doing 749 00:54:10,915 --> 00:54:14,669 my toes, hair and nails. All for Egypt! 750 00:54:14,836 --> 00:54:18,173 I rehearsed my arrival a month! 751 00:54:18,339 --> 00:54:21,176 Now I look like shit! 752 00:54:24,721 --> 00:54:27,223 Don't worry, divine Cleopatra. 753 00:54:27,390 --> 00:54:29,851 Nobody saw you. 754 00:54:32,437 --> 00:54:33,772 Right? 755 00:54:34,314 --> 00:54:37,984 We're lucky in our misfortune, my Queen. 756 00:54:38,151 --> 00:54:40,278 Great Roman patrician, 757 00:54:40,487 --> 00:54:42,614 where is Caesar's palace? 758 00:54:43,573 --> 00:54:46,201 I can't go there in this condition! 759 00:54:46,367 --> 00:54:49,621 How can I? My chariot's a wreck! 760 00:54:49,788 --> 00:54:52,373 Don't worry, divine Cleopatra. 761 00:54:52,582 --> 00:54:56,377 I got a pal who specializes in chariots. 762 00:54:56,544 --> 00:54:58,671 If you'll get in my taxi... 763 00:55:05,303 --> 00:55:06,721 My monkey and 2 falcons! 764 00:55:06,888 --> 00:55:08,723 Yeah. I know... 765 00:55:11,851 --> 00:55:15,897 Don't worry. I'll see to everything. 766 00:55:28,243 --> 00:55:30,078 Not too rough a ride? 767 00:55:38,670 --> 00:55:40,171 Looks like he's out. 768 00:55:50,431 --> 00:55:51,599 I'm a mess! 769 00:55:51,766 --> 00:55:53,601 You're ok. 770 00:55:54,185 --> 00:55:55,185 The bathroom? 771 00:55:55,311 --> 00:55:56,604 That way... 772 00:56:05,446 --> 00:56:06,865 What is it? 773 00:56:07,031 --> 00:56:08,533 - That! - What? 774 00:56:08,700 --> 00:56:12,745 My grandpa! Pharaoh Sesostris Amenofis Nyopartiefet... 775 00:56:13,496 --> 00:56:15,915 called Sesostris for short. 776 00:56:16,082 --> 00:56:17,417 Listen to this. 777 00:56:17,584 --> 00:56:21,880 "I place this portrait in the babe's cradle on the Nile." 778 00:56:22,046 --> 00:56:26,926 "Blessed be the finder. The boy will be Pharaoh of Egypt!" 779 00:56:27,135 --> 00:56:30,805 The baby placed in the cradle on the Nile 780 00:56:30,972 --> 00:56:33,516 was my brother Aminemefet! 781 00:56:33,683 --> 00:56:35,935 Grandpa raised me. 782 00:56:36,102 --> 00:56:40,315 7 years earlier, he'd put my brother in a foster home. 783 00:56:47,989 --> 00:56:50,700 Take this baby 784 00:56:50,867 --> 00:56:53,953 to Palestine. He's the future Pharaoh. 785 00:56:55,955 --> 00:57:00,877 I want him wet-nursed by my old Hebrew friends, 786 00:57:01,044 --> 00:57:04,923 Rachel and Simon Goldenberg. 787 00:57:17,560 --> 00:57:18,560 Great Pharaoh, 788 00:57:19,062 --> 00:57:24,150 why does your grandson have to be suckled by a Hebrew nurse? 789 00:57:24,317 --> 00:57:26,319 Politics. 790 00:57:27,111 --> 00:57:30,865 Though he is not of Jewish blood, he will be of Jewish milk! 791 00:57:32,283 --> 00:57:35,161 Just after Aminemefet got there, 792 00:57:35,328 --> 00:57:39,248 Herod massacred all boys under 6 months of age. 793 00:57:39,415 --> 00:57:43,920 He feared the King of the Jews would take his throne. 794 00:57:51,010 --> 00:57:55,264 Rachel set my brother afloat on the Nile. 795 00:57:55,431 --> 00:57:56,849 Don't be so pushy! 796 00:57:57,016 --> 00:57:59,936 Get in line like everyone else! 797 00:58:00,103 --> 00:58:03,189 They persecute us too, ya know! 798 00:58:06,442 --> 00:58:09,070 We never heard of him after that. 799 00:58:09,487 --> 00:58:12,657 I must learn why this portrait is here. 800 00:58:12,824 --> 00:58:17,578 Your mechanic must know what's become of my brother. 801 00:58:19,288 --> 00:58:21,165 Who are the others? 802 00:58:21,332 --> 00:58:23,876 Nobody! There's no conspiracy! 803 00:58:24,043 --> 00:58:26,212 Caesar invited me in. 804 00:58:26,379 --> 00:58:28,172 For a drink? 805 00:58:28,339 --> 00:58:31,676 Yes! How could I know it was Caesar? 806 00:58:31,843 --> 00:58:35,763 His noble face is on all our banknotes! 807 00:58:35,930 --> 00:58:38,558 He wore a wig and mustache! 808 00:58:38,725 --> 00:58:41,477 I didn't recognize his kisser. 809 00:58:41,644 --> 00:58:46,315 Let me yank out his nails and 4 or5 teeth. 810 00:58:46,482 --> 00:58:48,317 I'll break an arm or two! 811 00:58:48,484 --> 00:58:51,738 No, I work with my hands! I'm not an egghead like you. 812 00:58:51,904 --> 00:58:54,490 Lucien loves tender broken arms. 813 00:58:54,657 --> 00:58:57,326 Lock him up! We'll go and search 814 00:58:57,493 --> 00:59:00,163 his garage for accomplices! 815 00:59:31,527 --> 00:59:33,571 Come out. You're surrounded! 816 00:59:34,572 --> 00:59:37,617 Give up! We're here in force! 817 00:59:38,659 --> 00:59:41,579 Ben-Hur's in jail! You're under arrest! 818 00:59:41,746 --> 00:59:44,457 May we know why? 819 00:59:45,166 --> 00:59:49,253 For conspiracy against Caesar and Cleopatra! 820 00:59:50,463 --> 00:59:53,466 I am Cleopatra. Queen of Egypt. 821 00:59:55,635 --> 00:59:58,888 And why not Caesar's wife while you're at it? 822 00:59:59,097 --> 01:00:02,016 I am Cleopatra, Queen of Egypt! 823 01:00:02,183 --> 01:00:04,102 I demand the honors 824 01:00:04,310 --> 01:00:05,770 worthy of my rank. 825 01:00:05,937 --> 01:00:09,899 Cleopatra in a garage at 6 AM? Sure! 826 01:00:10,733 --> 01:00:13,528 And where're your chariot and your tiara? 827 01:00:13,694 --> 01:00:17,865 Her tiara is in her chariot with a monkey and 2 falcons. 828 01:00:18,032 --> 01:00:20,118 A monkey and 2 falcons! 829 01:00:20,284 --> 01:00:23,621 Yes. A monkey and 2 falcons. 830 01:00:25,331 --> 01:00:29,585 Run this drunk in, along with the dame! 831 01:00:30,419 --> 01:00:32,296 I spent a whole day 832 01:00:32,463 --> 01:00:35,466 on skin care, a bubblebath and massage. 833 01:00:35,633 --> 01:00:40,638 I went to town, I even spring-cleaned for that Indian! 834 01:00:40,805 --> 01:00:41,805 Egyptian! 835 01:00:43,057 --> 01:00:44,308 She's Egyptian. 836 01:00:44,475 --> 01:00:48,146 Egyptian! Indian! What's the difference? 837 01:00:49,272 --> 01:00:52,525 All I know is she's late. 838 01:00:53,067 --> 01:00:57,321 That idiot's going to screw up my party! 839 01:00:57,905 --> 01:01:01,409 Can't you find out where she is? 840 01:01:02,118 --> 01:01:04,745 You and your Rosetta-stone cops! 841 01:01:06,497 --> 01:01:07,999 My nerves! 842 01:01:08,791 --> 01:01:10,042 They're shot! 843 01:01:10,209 --> 01:01:13,838 And I was attacked in my room at 2 AM 844 01:01:14,005 --> 01:01:16,424 by a bloodthirsty terrorist! 845 01:01:16,591 --> 01:01:19,260 Your door has 24-hour guards! 846 01:01:19,427 --> 01:01:20,887 Yes but... 847 01:01:21,053 --> 01:01:24,056 What? What are you insinuating? 848 01:01:24,849 --> 01:01:26,601 Have you finished? 849 01:01:26,767 --> 01:01:30,646 Keep your remarks to yourself. That's not the problem. 850 01:01:32,982 --> 01:01:34,275 Where's Cleopatra? 851 01:01:36,652 --> 01:01:39,488 Hail, Demetrios! Hail, Caesar! 852 01:01:41,490 --> 01:01:42,700 And Cleopatra? 853 01:01:42,867 --> 01:01:44,952 Still no news, Consul. 854 01:01:46,913 --> 01:01:48,748 Such incompetence! 855 01:01:48,915 --> 01:01:52,501 The Queen of Egypt is roaming a land 856 01:01:52,668 --> 01:01:54,962 we claim to control 857 01:01:55,129 --> 01:02:00,134 in a chariot with camels, a monkey and 2 falcons 858 01:02:00,301 --> 01:02:02,428 and nobody's noticed her? 859 01:02:03,095 --> 01:02:05,431 A monkey and 2 falcons? 860 01:02:06,265 --> 01:02:07,265 Yes! 861 01:02:07,308 --> 01:02:10,686 A monkey and 2 falcons! 862 01:02:10,853 --> 01:02:14,982 Even a gross Gaul knows Cleopatra always has 863 01:02:15,149 --> 01:02:17,735 a monkey and 2 falcons with her. 864 01:02:17,944 --> 01:02:19,654 A monkey and 2 falcons? 865 01:02:19,820 --> 01:02:21,072 Yes! 866 01:02:21,280 --> 01:02:23,366 A monkey and 2 falcons! 867 01:02:24,408 --> 01:02:27,411 Is he retarded or what? 868 01:02:27,578 --> 01:02:29,497 At a garage 869 01:02:29,705 --> 01:02:33,042 we just picked up a dame who says she's Cleopatra 870 01:02:33,209 --> 01:02:36,462 and her pal spoke about a monkey and 2 falcons. 871 01:02:37,505 --> 01:02:41,008 A garage? She said she's Cleopatra? 872 01:02:41,175 --> 01:02:42,677 Yes, noble Consul. 873 01:02:42,843 --> 01:02:43,843 You arrested her? 874 01:02:43,886 --> 01:02:45,096 Of course. 875 01:02:45,263 --> 01:02:46,347 Is it her? 876 01:02:46,514 --> 01:02:47,640 I don't know. 877 01:02:47,807 --> 01:02:49,892 He doesn't know! 878 01:02:50,059 --> 01:02:52,770 Everyone knows we've lost Cleopatra. 879 01:02:52,937 --> 01:02:55,648 He finds one but he can't tell 880 01:02:55,815 --> 01:02:58,693 a Queen of Egypt with a monkey and 2 falcons 881 01:02:58,901 --> 01:03:00,820 from a local whore! 882 01:03:00,987 --> 01:03:02,989 A woman in an evening gown 883 01:03:03,197 --> 01:03:04,740 at 6 AM... 884 01:03:04,907 --> 01:03:09,036 At 6 AM? Such taste! 885 01:03:09,203 --> 01:03:10,203 Where is she? 886 01:03:10,288 --> 01:03:11,872 The arena prison. 887 01:03:12,039 --> 01:03:14,625 By Jupiter! My chariot! 888 01:03:18,087 --> 01:03:19,964 Where'd you get this? 889 01:03:20,131 --> 01:03:23,301 It was in my cradle. 890 01:03:23,467 --> 01:03:25,011 By Osiris! 891 01:03:25,678 --> 01:03:28,973 I was found abandoned on the Nile. 892 01:03:29,140 --> 01:03:30,850 It was in the cradle. 893 01:03:31,017 --> 01:03:34,562 Ben-Hur Gaston, my adopted dad, 894 01:03:34,729 --> 01:03:36,397 taught me to be a mechanic. 895 01:03:36,564 --> 01:03:38,941 He put that on the wall. 896 01:03:39,108 --> 01:03:42,153 But you never read it? 897 01:03:42,320 --> 01:03:45,823 Hieroglyphics are Greek to me. 898 01:03:45,990 --> 01:03:49,660 If this papyrus was in your cradle, 899 01:03:49,827 --> 01:03:52,330 you're my brother! 900 01:03:52,496 --> 01:03:53,622 She's kiddin'? 901 01:03:53,789 --> 01:03:56,250 No. The papyrus says it's true. 902 01:03:56,417 --> 01:03:58,711 You read papyrus? 903 01:03:58,878 --> 01:04:01,922 It says you're her brother named... 904 01:04:02,089 --> 01:04:03,466 Aminemefet! 905 01:04:03,632 --> 01:04:05,426 - Your brother? - Yes 906 01:04:05,843 --> 01:04:09,722 and heir to the throne of Egypt! 907 01:04:11,599 --> 01:04:13,142 Your resemble Grandpa! 908 01:04:13,309 --> 01:04:16,354 Stop shittin' me! You're my sis? 909 01:04:16,520 --> 01:04:17,355 Yes! 910 01:04:17,521 --> 01:04:19,190 Shit! 911 01:04:19,357 --> 01:04:23,319 A brother and sister! What a feast, Lucien! 912 01:04:38,626 --> 01:04:39,794 Coming! 913 01:04:40,461 --> 01:04:41,712 Who's there? 914 01:04:43,172 --> 01:04:44,465 The Consul! 915 01:04:50,179 --> 01:04:51,180 Is that her? 916 01:04:51,347 --> 01:04:52,723 Absolutely. 917 01:04:54,183 --> 01:04:56,560 Divine Cleopatra! 918 01:04:56,727 --> 01:05:00,272 Forgive me. I throw myself at your feet. 919 01:05:00,439 --> 01:05:02,566 An incredible error. 920 01:05:02,733 --> 01:05:04,902 A police screw-up. 921 01:05:05,069 --> 01:05:07,446 They're fools led by a fool! 922 01:05:07,613 --> 01:05:08,781 I agree. 923 01:05:08,948 --> 01:05:12,701 Divine Cleopatra, how may I be forgiven? 924 01:05:12,868 --> 01:05:16,080 Begin by letting us out of here. 925 01:05:16,247 --> 01:05:18,165 Certainly! 926 01:05:19,041 --> 01:05:20,376 Move it! 927 01:05:20,543 --> 01:05:22,002 He means you! 928 01:05:31,929 --> 01:05:33,722 My chariot! 929 01:05:33,889 --> 01:05:36,684 Make way for Cleopatra! 930 01:05:36,851 --> 01:05:39,228 Not you. What are you doing here? 931 01:05:40,271 --> 01:05:43,023 Let me present my brother... 932 01:05:43,190 --> 01:05:46,152 Pharaoh Aminemefet! 933 01:05:46,318 --> 01:05:49,238 If you don't mind, Mr. Commoner! 934 01:05:51,323 --> 01:05:52,323 And him? 935 01:05:52,408 --> 01:05:53,826 My chief general! 936 01:05:55,703 --> 01:05:56,912 Divine Cleopatra... 937 01:06:05,463 --> 01:06:09,300 Back to canned cat food, Lucien! 938 01:06:26,901 --> 01:06:28,319 Are you nuts? 939 01:06:29,737 --> 01:06:31,906 7! Red! 940 01:06:34,158 --> 01:06:37,745 The Romans really know how to have fun! 941 01:06:38,913 --> 01:06:40,873 Politics keep us too busy. 942 01:06:41,040 --> 01:06:42,333 And money! 943 01:06:42,500 --> 01:06:45,085 And the Oat-Producers' Congress! 944 01:06:45,252 --> 01:06:48,714 We've no time to play! 945 01:06:48,881 --> 01:06:50,549 Very true! 946 01:06:50,716 --> 01:06:54,178 Who'd defend our interests except us? 947 01:06:54,345 --> 01:06:58,516 We need an agent who's young, 948 01:06:58,682 --> 01:07:00,935 dynamic and trustworthy 949 01:07:01,101 --> 01:07:03,437 to be our Western sales rep! 950 01:07:03,854 --> 01:07:06,982 We need a guy to stand up for us. 951 01:07:07,149 --> 01:07:08,359 An energetic guy. 952 01:07:08,526 --> 01:07:12,279 The merchants have Ben-Hur Marcel. 953 01:07:12,446 --> 01:07:14,782 So let's ask Ben-Hur Marcel! 954 01:07:14,949 --> 01:07:16,325 He's a civilian. 955 01:07:16,492 --> 01:07:18,869 No, he's a pharaoh! 956 01:07:25,459 --> 01:07:28,128 That's the last straw! 957 01:07:28,295 --> 01:07:31,674 I repainted the royal apartments, 958 01:07:31,840 --> 01:07:35,678 washed the mosaics, got new rugs and flowers 959 01:07:35,844 --> 01:07:38,180 and she stays in a garage! 960 01:07:38,347 --> 01:07:40,641 She's at her brother's. 961 01:07:40,849 --> 01:07:42,977 What a political change. 962 01:07:43,143 --> 01:07:46,772 If Ben-Hur Marcel is Pharaoh, you'll deal with him. 963 01:07:47,565 --> 01:07:50,609 Cleopatra's visit is meaningless. 964 01:07:50,776 --> 01:07:52,945 You won't need to wed her. 965 01:07:55,781 --> 01:07:59,618 What a relief! It's easier to get along with... 966 01:07:59,785 --> 01:08:02,621 a pharaoh than a pharess, eh? 967 01:08:02,788 --> 01:08:04,123 What's he like? 968 01:08:04,290 --> 01:08:06,083 Sort of pudgy. 969 01:08:06,250 --> 01:08:07,710 Really? 970 01:08:07,876 --> 01:08:11,463 Listen, sweety, the country's future 971 01:08:11,630 --> 01:08:16,135 and politics come before personal interests. 972 01:08:16,302 --> 01:08:19,388 So I'll see this pudgy boy. 973 01:08:19,555 --> 01:08:21,432 I'll go see him. 974 01:08:21,599 --> 01:08:25,561 I mean, I'll go see the young Pharaoh. 975 01:08:37,990 --> 01:08:38,991 That? 976 01:08:39,158 --> 01:08:40,701 Yes, Caesar. 977 01:08:40,868 --> 01:08:44,663 I'll get grease all over me! 978 01:08:47,625 --> 01:08:49,209 Let Caesar pass! 979 01:08:58,552 --> 01:09:00,679 Tell me, young patrician... 980 01:09:06,352 --> 01:09:07,186 What? 981 01:09:07,353 --> 01:09:09,730 It's him! The killer! 982 01:09:09,938 --> 01:09:13,567 Guards, seize him! Careful! 983 01:09:13,776 --> 01:09:15,402 He's armed! 984 01:09:15,819 --> 01:09:17,363 Not again! 985 01:09:17,571 --> 01:09:18,572 What is this? 986 01:09:18,739 --> 01:09:21,158 He tried to kill me! 987 01:09:21,367 --> 01:09:24,286 He told me to! 988 01:09:24,453 --> 01:09:26,789 You told him what? 989 01:09:26,955 --> 01:09:28,707 Me? Nothing! 990 01:09:28,874 --> 01:09:30,074 You'd better hold your tongue! 991 01:09:30,209 --> 01:09:33,504 You can't talk to Pharaoh that way! 992 01:09:33,671 --> 01:09:34,755 Seize this man! 993 01:09:38,050 --> 01:09:40,803 What is all this? 994 01:09:40,969 --> 01:09:43,555 Guards, seize that one too! 995 01:09:46,100 --> 01:09:48,143 You can't. He's my pal! 996 01:09:48,310 --> 01:09:49,603 Seize him! 997 01:09:50,938 --> 01:09:54,525 This is incredible! 998 01:09:54,692 --> 01:09:57,319 Guards, seize these guards! 999 01:09:58,737 --> 01:10:01,615 What? Guards, grab these guards! 1000 01:10:11,583 --> 01:10:12,918 What's going on? 1001 01:10:13,085 --> 01:10:15,129 It's weird, my Queen. What's going on? 1002 01:10:24,430 --> 01:10:26,598 Mighty Caesar, I presume? 1003 01:10:27,641 --> 01:10:28,767 Obviously. 1004 01:10:28,934 --> 01:10:30,310 Where did she spring from? 1005 01:10:30,519 --> 01:10:34,815 I am accustomed to warmer welcomes. 1006 01:10:35,023 --> 01:10:36,984 She's divine Cleopatra! 1007 01:10:38,527 --> 01:10:41,780 Glad to greet you, divine Cleopatra. 1008 01:10:41,989 --> 01:10:43,323 About time! 1009 01:10:44,366 --> 01:10:47,035 The pleasure's all mine, Caesar. 1010 01:10:47,202 --> 01:10:49,037 This is my brother, 1011 01:10:49,246 --> 01:10:51,165 Pharaoh Aminemefet. 1012 01:10:51,582 --> 01:10:53,625 Impossible! He's the one! 1013 01:10:53,834 --> 01:10:56,837 He told me to do it. Believe me now? 1014 01:10:57,254 --> 01:11:00,799 He could tell everyone how he met you! 1015 01:11:00,966 --> 01:11:02,217 So? 1016 01:11:03,469 --> 01:11:04,470 Yes. That's true. 1017 01:11:04,678 --> 01:11:06,805 Would you like a drink? 1018 01:11:06,972 --> 01:11:08,974 No. Thank you, divine one. 1019 01:11:09,183 --> 01:11:12,686 I just came to officially invite you 1020 01:11:12,853 --> 01:11:15,439 to the Circus Games on Sunday. 1021 01:11:15,647 --> 01:11:18,025 With pleasure, mighty Caesar. 1022 01:11:18,442 --> 01:11:21,320 The contestants are prime quality. 1023 01:11:22,279 --> 01:11:23,989 I hear your gladiators 1024 01:11:24,198 --> 01:11:25,449 are very good. 1025 01:11:25,616 --> 01:11:29,661 I hear your chariot driver is very skilled! 1026 01:11:34,333 --> 01:11:36,710 Don't let me interrupt you. 1027 01:11:37,795 --> 01:11:41,340 There may be a change to the program. 1028 01:11:41,507 --> 01:11:45,010 Askisserus knows Egyptian customs and, 1029 01:11:45,177 --> 01:11:47,387 in international games, 1030 01:11:47,554 --> 01:11:50,516 the Pharaoh, when present, 1031 01:11:50,724 --> 01:11:52,100 heads the Egyptian team. 1032 01:11:52,267 --> 01:11:53,310 Exactly. 1033 01:11:53,477 --> 01:11:58,690 So Ben-Hur Marcel... Aminemafet will represent your country. 1034 01:11:58,857 --> 01:12:00,150 Normally, yes. 1035 01:12:02,069 --> 01:12:03,487 Very good! 1036 01:12:03,695 --> 01:12:07,115 I'm honored but that doesn't suit me. 1037 01:12:07,282 --> 01:12:09,117 Sunday I'm busy 1038 01:12:09,284 --> 01:12:11,870 and I can't take a union man's job. 1039 01:12:12,037 --> 01:12:13,455 You've no choice. 1040 01:12:13,664 --> 01:12:15,374 It's the custom. 1041 01:12:15,958 --> 01:12:18,836 The custom? That's a bummer! 1042 01:12:21,713 --> 01:12:25,425 On patrol and sentry-duty, 1043 01:12:25,634 --> 01:12:28,720 a Roman guard sweats under his armor. 1044 01:12:28,929 --> 01:12:32,558 Armpitus! The trooper's deodorant 1045 01:12:32,724 --> 01:12:35,143 for soldiers of taste. 1046 01:12:35,310 --> 01:12:38,438 Live today from the Rahat-Locum Circus. 1047 01:12:38,605 --> 01:12:42,401 We're here for the Circus Games being given by Caesar, 1048 01:12:42,609 --> 01:12:45,988 Master of the Western World, 1049 01:12:46,154 --> 01:12:48,574 for Cleopatra, Queen of Egypt, 1050 01:12:48,740 --> 01:12:51,410 5'8", 104 pounds, 1051 01:12:52,077 --> 01:12:55,247 out of Amenofistofelet of the 18th Dynasty 1052 01:12:55,414 --> 01:12:57,165 by Adtorsis. 1053 01:12:59,167 --> 01:13:01,920 21 on the Gallic chariot! 1054 01:13:13,599 --> 01:13:16,643 She rules Egypt! Each pyramid and crypt 1055 01:13:16,810 --> 01:13:19,855 Sings praise to her ancestors 1056 01:13:20,022 --> 01:13:23,525 Cleopatra! 1057 01:13:24,276 --> 01:13:27,529 Beneath the sky of Egyptus Grows the eucalyptus 1058 01:13:27,738 --> 01:13:30,741 Amid blossoms and rocks Glide swans and peacocks 1059 01:13:30,949 --> 01:13:34,661 Cleopatra! 1060 01:13:34,828 --> 01:13:37,998 Emperors! Caliphs! In hieroglyphs 1061 01:13:38,165 --> 01:13:41,126 Let her name be writ Should Champollion find it 1062 01:13:46,465 --> 01:13:49,593 One day in Egypt And thereafter transmit 1063 01:13:49,760 --> 01:13:52,971 This inscription: She's glad to be Egyptian 1064 01:14:19,373 --> 01:14:20,373 What's this? 1065 01:14:20,499 --> 01:14:21,750 What's what? 1066 01:14:22,584 --> 01:14:24,252 This mad circus? 1067 01:14:24,419 --> 01:14:27,464 But it's your circus! 1068 01:14:27,631 --> 01:14:30,217 What're these sideshows doing, 1069 01:14:30,425 --> 01:14:32,803 these things in my circus? 1070 01:14:33,011 --> 01:14:35,097 It's advertising! 1071 01:14:35,681 --> 01:14:36,681 What? 1072 01:14:37,349 --> 01:14:40,519 I ordered a grandiose celebration! 1073 01:14:42,771 --> 01:14:46,692 Caesar, the coffers are empty. 1074 01:14:46,858 --> 01:14:48,777 We had to find a solution. 1075 01:14:50,946 --> 01:14:55,492 Pardon me for involving you in such a farce. 1076 01:14:55,659 --> 01:14:58,578 Tomorrow, I'll have it all moved. 1077 01:14:59,287 --> 01:15:02,708 Never mind. We're all in the same boat. 1078 01:15:18,265 --> 01:15:20,809 Stay alert! Watch for my signal. 1079 01:15:21,643 --> 01:15:23,979 Are you in love, ladies? 1080 01:15:24,479 --> 01:15:27,607 Make your gladiator glad! Wear Frivolitus! 1081 01:15:30,235 --> 01:15:32,571 Ready to go, boys? 1082 01:15:32,738 --> 01:15:36,575 We'll eat those Romans alive. 1083 01:15:36,742 --> 01:15:40,245 We'll make mincemeat of the Egyptians. 1084 01:15:40,412 --> 01:15:42,873 How's Ben-Hur Marcel? 1085 01:15:43,040 --> 01:15:45,125 Fine! But a bit tired 1086 01:15:45,292 --> 01:15:48,503 from tuning up his chariot. 1087 01:15:50,172 --> 01:15:53,759 - Have you seen it? - No, not yet. 1088 01:15:53,925 --> 01:15:55,218 You should. 1089 01:15:55,385 --> 01:15:58,055 It concerns you most of all. 1090 01:15:58,221 --> 01:16:00,974 - Worth a detour? - And how! 1091 01:16:01,183 --> 01:16:04,728 Divine Cleopatra, mighty Caesar, hail! 1092 01:16:05,187 --> 01:16:08,857 Ladies and gentlemen of Rome, foreign friends, 1093 01:16:09,441 --> 01:16:11,610 today's games offered by mighty Caesar 1094 01:16:12,360 --> 01:16:14,196 to divine Cleopatra 1095 01:16:14,362 --> 01:16:17,574 will allow us to designate but one victor! 1096 01:16:17,741 --> 01:16:20,869 First event, the chariot race! 1097 01:16:24,289 --> 01:16:27,667 The chariots are ready to start! 1098 01:16:30,295 --> 01:16:32,756 They're coming onto the track. 1099 01:16:33,090 --> 01:16:35,801 I'll give you their names and numbers 1100 01:16:35,967 --> 01:16:38,553 before the draw. 1101 01:16:38,720 --> 01:16:42,349 The Greek entry driven by Efistalopoulos 1102 01:16:42,516 --> 01:16:44,726 for King Simonides' stables 1103 01:16:44,935 --> 01:16:49,189 has been scratched and will be replaced by chariot 2. 1104 01:16:50,190 --> 01:16:54,194 Now they're off and it's an admirable sight! 1105 01:16:54,402 --> 01:16:56,822 A remarkable ballet 1106 01:16:57,030 --> 01:17:00,951 of machines, men and horses in perfect harmony! 1107 01:17:01,118 --> 01:17:04,746 The haughty herd of hammering hooves 1108 01:17:05,163 --> 01:17:07,707 makes the dust dance like stars 1109 01:17:07,874 --> 01:17:10,335 in the sparkling air 1110 01:17:10,544 --> 01:17:12,212 of the multi-hued arena. 1111 01:17:12,796 --> 01:17:15,882 What's going on? The chariots are lining up 1112 01:17:16,466 --> 01:17:19,010 before mighty Caesar, 1113 01:17:19,636 --> 01:17:23,515 5'9", 180 lbs, son of Nero, grandson of Caligula, 1114 01:17:23,682 --> 01:17:26,893 a fine line that has given the empire so many leaders. 1115 01:17:27,102 --> 01:17:29,896 Ladies and gentlemen, 1116 01:17:30,063 --> 01:17:34,067 in all my 40 years with Imperial Roman TV, 1117 01:17:34,234 --> 01:17:37,529 I have never seen such a thing! 1118 01:17:39,823 --> 01:17:41,867 What's wrong with them? 1119 01:17:42,033 --> 01:17:43,118 Mighty Caesar, 1120 01:17:43,326 --> 01:17:44,911 consider the race over. 1121 01:17:45,078 --> 01:17:47,122 We abandon the competition. 1122 01:17:47,289 --> 01:17:49,207 We cannot race against Ben-Hur Marcel. 1123 01:17:49,416 --> 01:17:53,044 He is our master. We ask you to declare him 1124 01:17:53,253 --> 01:17:54,880 the winner. 1125 01:17:55,046 --> 01:17:56,756 This is absurd! 1126 01:17:56,923 --> 01:18:01,219 Firstly, where is this Ben-Hur Marcel? 1127 01:18:13,064 --> 01:18:14,566 My brother's good! 1128 01:18:14,733 --> 01:18:15,775 Not bad! 1129 01:18:15,984 --> 01:18:17,986 The chariot is illegal. 1130 01:18:19,029 --> 01:18:21,489 It meets Egyptian specifications. 1131 01:18:22,949 --> 01:18:24,409 Now! 1132 01:18:25,911 --> 01:18:30,665 The Arab world respects Egypt's rules. 1133 01:18:30,832 --> 01:18:33,376 So we beg you, mighty Caesar, 1134 01:18:33,543 --> 01:18:36,588 to declare Aminemefet the winner! 1135 01:18:37,672 --> 01:18:38,673 They can't! 1136 01:18:38,840 --> 01:18:42,719 They can. They control all the energy, you idiot! 1137 01:18:42,886 --> 01:18:44,095 What? 1138 01:18:44,262 --> 01:18:47,891 The consul means we should be diplomatic 1139 01:18:48,058 --> 01:18:49,935 with our powerful guests. 1140 01:18:50,101 --> 01:18:54,314 But they're going too far... Really! 1141 01:18:54,481 --> 01:18:55,815 What do I do? 1142 01:18:55,982 --> 01:18:57,525 Declare him the winner. 1143 01:18:58,568 --> 01:19:01,238 I declare Ben-Hur Marcel... 1144 01:19:01,446 --> 01:19:03,073 Aminemefet... 1145 01:19:04,908 --> 01:19:08,245 Aminemefet the winner! 1146 01:19:36,856 --> 01:19:40,527 Divine Cleopatra, mighty Caesar, Romans, 1147 01:19:40,735 --> 01:19:41,736 foreign friends, 1148 01:19:41,903 --> 01:19:44,281 Aminemefet of Egypt 1149 01:19:44,447 --> 01:19:47,951 has won the chariot race. 1150 01:19:48,118 --> 01:19:49,619 But now he must confront 1151 01:19:50,036 --> 01:19:53,790 gladiators, animals and other stuff. 1152 01:19:53,999 --> 01:19:56,501 Gladiators, to your places! 1153 01:20:00,130 --> 01:20:05,051 The gladiators the young Pharaoh will face are, 1154 01:20:05,218 --> 01:20:09,389 if I may say so, the crème de la crème 1155 01:20:09,556 --> 01:20:12,309 of the Empire's fighters. We are about to see 1156 01:20:12,517 --> 01:20:16,479 the myrmidon Placius, trained by Valerian, 1157 01:20:16,646 --> 01:20:20,108 the Thracian Mauritius who beat 1158 01:20:20,317 --> 01:20:23,486 Homo Placus Miserias Ventris 1159 01:20:23,653 --> 01:20:27,282 in 1 minute 27 seconds 6 tenths, 1160 01:20:27,490 --> 01:20:30,035 and the fantastic, colossal 1161 01:20:30,368 --> 01:20:34,247 and indeed scary Secutor Flavian Magister, 1162 01:20:34,706 --> 01:20:38,793 of whom they say "Even when absent, he terrifies!" 1163 01:20:41,171 --> 01:20:45,550 Those about to die in agonizing convulsions, 1164 01:20:45,759 --> 01:20:48,261 writhing in pain in a pool of blood... 1165 01:20:49,262 --> 01:20:50,347 Skip the details. 1166 01:20:51,431 --> 01:20:53,933 Those about to die salute thee! 1167 01:20:54,768 --> 01:20:57,354 Fate will now designate Aminemefet's opponent. 1168 01:20:58,063 --> 01:21:00,899 Divine Cleopatra! Mighty Caesar! 1169 01:21:01,232 --> 01:21:03,651 Aminemefet's fate lies 1170 01:21:03,860 --> 01:21:05,570 in your hands! 1171 01:21:06,946 --> 01:21:08,865 Divine Cleopatra... 1172 01:21:09,991 --> 01:21:11,659 The honor is yours! 1173 01:21:17,457 --> 01:21:19,501 5 and 2, 7. 1174 01:21:26,049 --> 01:21:27,842 6 and 3, 9. 1175 01:21:29,928 --> 01:21:33,473 Caesar, what opponent do you choose? 1176 01:21:35,683 --> 01:21:38,186 I'll give him a tough one. 1177 01:21:40,355 --> 01:21:41,355 Secutor! 1178 01:21:42,899 --> 01:21:45,902 Caesar has chosen Secutor. 1179 01:22:20,603 --> 01:22:22,021 He looks in shape. 1180 01:22:22,188 --> 01:22:24,065 The short guy? I'll waste him. 1181 01:22:24,482 --> 01:22:26,734 Yeah, you'll waste him 1182 01:22:27,110 --> 01:22:30,363 but next Sunday some guy'II waste you! 1183 01:22:30,780 --> 01:22:35,034 Weird job you do, getting beaten up all the time. 1184 01:22:35,201 --> 01:22:37,036 Caesar doesn't give a damn. 1185 01:22:38,163 --> 01:22:39,539 What's going on? 1186 01:22:40,039 --> 01:22:42,083 Ya got no coverage! 1187 01:22:42,250 --> 01:22:45,128 No social security! 1188 01:22:45,336 --> 01:22:46,754 No Medicare! 1189 01:22:46,921 --> 01:22:50,258 And because you die out there, not even a pension plan. 1190 01:22:51,301 --> 01:22:53,428 I'd change jobs. 1191 01:22:54,721 --> 01:22:57,098 What you say is true. 1192 01:22:59,058 --> 01:23:01,269 Ya ought to fight back. 1193 01:23:01,769 --> 01:23:03,146 Ya need a guy 1194 01:23:04,022 --> 01:23:05,899 to defend your interests! 1195 01:23:06,191 --> 01:23:07,984 He's hard to find. 1196 01:23:08,151 --> 01:23:09,486 Come here. 1197 01:23:19,204 --> 01:23:20,497 Hey, fellas! 1198 01:23:20,705 --> 01:23:22,790 That's enough! 1199 01:23:23,875 --> 01:23:25,251 What're you up to? 1200 01:23:34,135 --> 01:23:37,805 Mighty Caesar. I've talked to my comrades. 1201 01:23:38,515 --> 01:23:42,143 We feel our labor classification is unjust. 1202 01:23:42,685 --> 01:23:47,065 From now on, we want official gladiator status 1203 01:23:47,232 --> 01:23:50,026 with social and fiscal advantages. 1204 01:23:50,527 --> 01:23:53,738 If not, we strike. Right, guys? 1205 01:23:55,198 --> 01:23:57,367 They're punch-drunk! 1206 01:23:58,284 --> 01:23:59,994 Go fight! 1207 01:24:00,620 --> 01:24:01,871 I'll give you 1208 01:24:02,413 --> 01:24:04,666 what you want but fight! 1209 01:24:06,125 --> 01:24:07,919 Get it in writing! 1210 01:24:08,670 --> 01:24:10,755 We want that in writing! 1211 01:24:11,297 --> 01:24:13,841 The Consul must meet your union rep. 1212 01:24:14,259 --> 01:24:17,720 The Consul must talk to our union rep! 1213 01:24:20,181 --> 01:24:24,310 And who is your union representative? 1214 01:24:24,477 --> 01:24:25,812 My colleagues and I 1215 01:24:26,020 --> 01:24:29,357 have democratically elected Ben-Hur Marcel. 1216 01:24:29,566 --> 01:24:33,069 That pudgy thing'll drive me crazy! 1217 01:24:33,444 --> 01:24:35,572 I'm fed up! 1218 01:24:36,072 --> 01:24:39,742 Guards! Force the gladiators to fight! 1219 01:24:40,326 --> 01:24:43,162 - Well? - No hassle! Go! 1220 01:24:48,793 --> 01:24:50,295 No, mighty Caesar! 1221 01:24:50,503 --> 01:24:52,046 We won't budge. 1222 01:24:52,255 --> 01:24:55,300 As the Roman security force, we're made to do the dirty work. 1223 01:24:55,466 --> 01:24:56,926 That's why we're hated. 1224 01:24:57,093 --> 01:25:00,805 We beat up students, we beat up workers, 1225 01:25:00,972 --> 01:25:03,391 but we won't beat up strikers. 1226 01:25:06,394 --> 01:25:08,896 We're working for Ben-Hur Marcel from now on! 1227 01:25:09,105 --> 01:25:10,732 Long live Ben-Hur Marcel! 1228 01:25:14,777 --> 01:25:16,946 I don't feel at all well. 1229 01:25:17,113 --> 01:25:19,157 My gala is a bust! 1230 01:25:19,324 --> 01:25:22,619 My arena, plastered with soap ads! 1231 01:25:22,785 --> 01:25:26,581 My guards turned into sandwich-men! 1232 01:25:27,624 --> 01:25:30,752 I'm covered with ridicule! 1233 01:25:31,586 --> 01:25:34,130 They'll still be laughing in the 20th century! 1234 01:25:34,339 --> 01:25:36,841 Get hold of yourself, mighty Caesar! 1235 01:25:37,008 --> 01:25:39,886 I'm sick of that pudgy thing! 1236 01:25:40,053 --> 01:25:43,056 Get rid of him. Rid me of him! 1237 01:25:43,389 --> 01:25:46,851 If you love me, get rid of him. 1238 01:25:50,480 --> 01:25:52,231 Calm down! 1239 01:25:52,398 --> 01:25:55,109 Your wild beasts won't betray you. 1240 01:25:55,276 --> 01:25:57,403 They don't want welfare benefits! 1241 01:25:57,570 --> 01:25:58,655 They don't? 1242 01:25:58,821 --> 01:26:02,283 Straighten up! Be the mighty Caesar! 1243 01:26:02,450 --> 01:26:06,079 At times, it's very hard. 1244 01:26:07,413 --> 01:26:08,665 Ok... 1245 01:26:09,791 --> 01:26:14,754 Gladiators, is that your last word? 1246 01:26:15,171 --> 01:26:16,506 Absolutely! 1247 01:26:36,859 --> 01:26:39,654 What do I do? 1248 01:26:39,821 --> 01:26:41,280 Explode or what? 1249 01:26:41,989 --> 01:26:44,701 I'll hang on. I'm Emperor. 1250 01:26:45,785 --> 01:26:47,745 Aminemefet, the winner! 1251 01:26:51,249 --> 01:26:52,834 Romans! 1252 01:27:04,220 --> 01:27:08,015 Respect for democratic principles forces me 1253 01:27:08,182 --> 01:27:11,018 to yield to popular demands. 1254 01:27:11,561 --> 01:27:14,772 But the games are not over! 1255 01:27:14,939 --> 01:27:17,442 The wild beasts are waiting! 1256 01:27:18,526 --> 01:27:21,988 Aminemefet has won the gladiator event. 1257 01:27:22,155 --> 01:27:24,574 He'll now face a wild beast. 1258 01:27:25,867 --> 01:27:28,828 Divine Cleopatra! Caesar! Your play! 1259 01:27:35,293 --> 01:27:36,294 A double 5! 1260 01:27:40,965 --> 01:27:44,051 I love your hair. You use a rinse? 1261 01:27:44,218 --> 01:27:45,720 It's natural. 1262 01:27:45,887 --> 01:27:49,599 But I use cyclamen-juice shampoo. 1263 01:27:49,807 --> 01:27:52,935 I must try it. Isn't it nice, Tatoous? 1264 01:27:53,102 --> 01:27:54,687 Not bad, my Queen. 1265 01:27:56,689 --> 01:27:58,399 Well? 1266 01:27:59,150 --> 01:28:02,111 A double 6! I get to choose. 1267 01:28:03,488 --> 01:28:06,407 What is Divine Cleopatra's choice? 1268 01:28:09,243 --> 01:28:10,369 The lion! 1269 01:28:10,536 --> 01:28:13,039 Cleopatra has chosen the lion! 1270 01:28:20,338 --> 01:28:22,381 Yes! It's him! 1271 01:28:22,590 --> 01:28:26,135 Lucien the Lion! Like 9 out of 10 beasts, 1272 01:28:26,302 --> 01:28:28,805 Lucien prefers Caninus! 1273 01:28:29,013 --> 01:28:32,558 Caninus! The big feast in a little can! 1274 01:28:45,279 --> 01:28:49,242 For silky fur, use Hairsheenus! 1275 01:28:49,408 --> 01:28:52,453 The shampoo with that jungle aroma! 1276 01:28:57,750 --> 01:29:02,171 We're on TV live! For free! 1277 01:29:02,964 --> 01:29:06,425 Caninus, a feast for your pets! 1278 01:29:07,218 --> 01:29:09,136 That lion's eaten so much, 1279 01:29:09,470 --> 01:29:10,513 he can't get 1280 01:29:10,721 --> 01:29:12,348 off his ass! 1281 01:29:29,991 --> 01:29:31,993 Even the lion... 1282 01:29:32,159 --> 01:29:33,911 Even the lion... 1283 01:29:34,120 --> 01:29:36,539 Cleopatra! Caesar! 1284 01:29:36,706 --> 01:29:39,333 I never saw this happen before! 1285 01:29:40,459 --> 01:29:43,129 So... Aminemefet, the winner! 1286 01:29:43,671 --> 01:29:46,048 Aminemefet, the winner! 1287 01:29:52,722 --> 01:29:57,018 That does it. Poison me! I want to die! 1288 01:29:57,184 --> 01:29:59,812 Give me hemlock, with a little sugar. 1289 01:30:07,403 --> 01:30:11,073 You must congratulate the victor! 1290 01:30:11,240 --> 01:30:12,533 Never! 1291 01:30:12,700 --> 01:30:15,202 It's the tradition. You must embrace the winner. 1292 01:30:15,369 --> 01:30:17,872 Embrace him? No, that's not possible. 1293 01:30:18,039 --> 01:30:19,540 I'd rather die! 1294 01:30:19,707 --> 01:30:23,085 Come on, embracing a pudgy fellow won't kill you. 1295 01:30:25,129 --> 01:30:26,380 A pudgy one? 1296 01:30:39,518 --> 01:30:41,520 He does seem rather nice. 1297 01:30:41,687 --> 01:30:43,522 I said so before! 1298 01:30:44,482 --> 01:30:48,402 I must look like I was hit by a sphinx! 1299 01:30:48,569 --> 01:30:49,820 A mess, eh? 1300 01:30:50,029 --> 01:30:51,906 Look at my crown... 1301 01:30:52,073 --> 01:30:54,450 I get so upset with myself. 1302 01:30:57,119 --> 01:30:59,455 Come on up! 1303 01:31:21,352 --> 01:31:26,148 Congratulations, valiant young Pharaoh! 1304 01:31:26,315 --> 01:31:29,819 And I love your outfit too. 1305 01:31:30,236 --> 01:31:31,821 Very attractive! 1306 01:31:32,655 --> 01:31:34,657 Here's the trophy 1307 01:31:34,824 --> 01:31:39,036 that will always remind the world of your great victory. 1308 01:31:39,203 --> 01:31:40,705 Thank you. 1309 01:31:50,172 --> 01:31:51,924 No, that's enough... 1310 01:32:01,100 --> 01:32:02,184 Friends... 1311 01:32:02,977 --> 01:32:04,228 My friends! 1312 01:32:05,896 --> 01:32:07,273 Long live Ben-Hur Marcel! 1313 01:32:07,940 --> 01:32:10,735 My message to you is but 1 word. 1314 01:32:11,652 --> 01:32:14,113 Reconciliation! 1315 01:32:19,326 --> 01:32:22,747 You all think Caesar is shit. 1316 01:32:25,166 --> 01:32:26,167 Ya think 1317 01:32:26,375 --> 01:32:29,128 the Consul and his men are shit. 1318 01:32:30,671 --> 01:32:33,924 Emirs, cops and the army are shit. 1319 01:32:35,426 --> 01:32:37,386 They think you're shit! 1320 01:32:39,472 --> 01:32:41,724 And both sides are right! 1321 01:32:41,891 --> 01:32:44,852 Cuz ya let 'em take ya for shit! 1322 01:32:51,901 --> 01:32:54,195 Since we're all shit, why fight? 1323 01:33:36,070 --> 01:33:38,489 - Stop drinking, dear. - But, mommy... 1324 01:33:38,656 --> 01:33:40,533 And don't mommy me! 1325 01:33:45,496 --> 01:33:48,374 Being a mechanic wasn't my calling. 1326 01:33:48,541 --> 01:33:50,334 I just followed my dad. 1327 01:33:50,501 --> 01:33:53,212 Being Pharaoh suits me fine! 1328 01:33:53,754 --> 01:33:57,174 Rubies are nice but can't go with everything. 1329 01:33:57,591 --> 01:34:02,805 8 days in Mesopotamia, I didn't bathe even once! 1330 01:34:06,642 --> 01:34:08,811 A little Iamb? 1331 01:34:11,397 --> 01:34:13,190 Dancing girls? 1332 01:34:18,571 --> 01:34:19,571 Coffee? 1333 01:34:19,697 --> 01:34:21,657 - Now that... - A drop of coffee, yes. 1334 01:34:32,668 --> 01:34:35,629 You must tell me who does your gowns... 1335 01:34:40,676 --> 01:34:45,014 Bethlehem is jammed with tourists 1336 01:34:45,181 --> 01:34:48,601 and it's impossible to find an inn room. 1337 01:34:48,767 --> 01:34:51,687 A carpenter and his pregnant wife 1338 01:34:52,021 --> 01:34:55,774 were forced to sleep in a stable 1339 01:34:55,941 --> 01:35:00,821 where the woman gave birth to a son. 1340 01:35:01,030 --> 01:35:02,907 Such crap on TV! 1341 01:35:03,073 --> 01:35:05,367 A kid in a stable! Big deal! 1342 01:35:06,785 --> 01:35:09,246 Look! Isn't he sweet? 1343 01:35:09,413 --> 01:35:11,248 Wait till he grows up! 1344 01:35:11,415 --> 01:35:13,250 At least it's a boy! 1345 01:35:13,417 --> 01:35:15,377 Can't they show sports? 1346 01:35:15,544 --> 01:35:17,963 A kid born in a stable in Bethlehem! 1347 01:35:18,130 --> 01:35:20,174 That's gonna change the world? 1348 01:35:21,926 --> 01:35:22,927 What did I say? 1349 01:35:23,552 --> 01:35:26,972 How'II a kid born in a stable change things? 1350 01:35:36,023 --> 01:35:39,276 The divine child is born! 1351 01:35:39,443 --> 01:35:43,030 Play your cassettus and transistory! 1352 01:35:43,197 --> 01:35:46,283 The divine child is born! 1353 01:35:46,450 --> 01:35:49,578 Let's videotape some History! 84586