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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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清末广东省宝安县
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00:00:56,542 --> 00:00:58,417
有大帅姓杨名丧昆
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持兵权镇压村民
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每遇反抗必带兵屠城
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镇压动乱，杀了他们
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放开我
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俺做鬼也不会放过你
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你还没起来？
11
00:03:01,876 --> 00:03:04,167
没起来怎么会听你的电话？
12
00:03:04,501 --> 00:03:06,251
我约了爹地九点钟喝茶
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你千万不要迟到啊
14
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干什么？
15
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别推
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别拉
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别抓
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HELLO. GOOD MORNING
19
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我的番文不错吧？
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你来干什么？
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帮你起床，不想你迟到
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请你离开我，让我做一个正常人
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你走吧
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你是我的后世，我是你的前世
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也就是你的守护神
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00:03:34,876 --> 00:03:37,001
你有事我当然帮你嘛
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有你帮手无事变有事，有事变大件事
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上次我的车子死火，你帮我手推车
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推了上人家的天棚
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帮我手搬家
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连抽水马桶都搬走了
32
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弄到整座大厦爆屎渠
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我有你这个前世，真是前世不修
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你别再跟住我，我反脸吶
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真是好鬼难做
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嘻！ 到步
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小姐，买花啦
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不用找
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当然不用找啦
40
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今天情人节，一百五十块一枝呀
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抓住抢
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早啊！ MARIAN
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HI，LUCKY
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不是男人
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早啊，带喜
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叫我安妮呀
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安妮
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还不动身就会迟到啦
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不会，我约了十二点钟
50
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那你叫我这么早来干什么？
51
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早点儿来对着我不好嘛？
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爹地已经安排你去他学校教书
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他还说现在香港人做事做不长
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个个都是游蛙式的
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游蛙式？
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00:05:03,001 --> 00:05:04,417
就是抓完「水」就走啦
57
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我不会的，我游狗仔式的
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我会游到一九九七的
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情人节礼物
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漂亮吧？
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贵呀
62
00:05:15,417 --> 00:05:17,542
干嘛买这么贵的东西，你发财啦？
63
00:05:17,542 --> 00:05:18,626
你现在失业
64
00:05:18,626 --> 00:05:20,042
有什么资格买这么贵的东西
65
00:05:20,042 --> 00:05:21,292
那我拿去换回钱吧
66
00:05:21,292 --> 00:05:22,917
我都说你没有诚意送了
67
00:05:22,917 --> 00:05:24,042
下次不要啦
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不是男人
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对不起
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我先去找爹地
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好狗不挡路，臭狗
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爹地，他来啦
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不用问阿贵，你一定是阿贵啦？
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是呀，世伯
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00:06:02,501 --> 00:06:04,334
他刚刚从英国读完书回来的
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剑桥？
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不是
78
00:06:06,376 --> 00:06:07,667
那一定是牛津了？
79
00:06:07,667 --> 00:06:08,667
是剑牛啊
80
00:06:08,667 --> 00:06:09,751
剑牛？
81
00:06:09,751 --> 00:06:11,667
表舅父
82
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赵世界，去滑完雪回来呀？ 是呀
83
00:06:14,751 --> 00:06:15,584
好不好玩儿啊？
84
00:06:15,584 --> 00:06:18,251
好玩儿，表妹
85
00:06:18,334 --> 00:06:20,209
表哥，吃水果
86
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丧标，吔蕉
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00:06:24,334 --> 00:06:26,251
过节当然要送礼啦
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00:06:26,251 --> 00:06:28,917
千足黄金做的，情人节快乐
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00:06:28,917 --> 00:06:30,126
谢谢表哥
90
00:06:31,084 --> 00:06:32,251
这位…？
91
00:06:32,959 --> 00:06:35,042
他是我朋友阿贵，他是我表哥
92
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表哥 坐啦
93
00:06:42,209 --> 00:06:44,917
贵哥，喜不喜欢滑雪？
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00:06:44,917 --> 00:06:45,834
喜欢
95
00:06:45,834 --> 00:06:48,417
我多数去瑞士滑雪，你呢？
96
00:06:48,417 --> 00:06:49,626
我多数去太古城
97
00:06:55,084 --> 00:06:56,834
世伯让我帮你点火
98
00:07:01,876 --> 00:07:03,334
表舅父，送给你的
99
00:07:03,417 --> 00:07:05,167
千足黄金做的
100
00:07:05,167 --> 00:07:06,501
我都有礼物啊
101
00:07:06,501 --> 00:07:08,126
小意思啦
102
00:07:08,126 --> 00:07:10,709
难道学人空手来吗？
103
00:07:11,042 --> 00:07:12,667
爹地，阿贵也有东西送给你
104
00:07:12,667 --> 00:07:14,751
是什么？ 你看
105
00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:17,626
武松打虎，是我亲手画的
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00:07:18,126 --> 00:07:21,834
你挖苦人？表舅父生肖属虎的
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00:07:22,084 --> 00:07:24,334
还画得武松好像你
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00:07:24,417 --> 00:07:26,584
你想打死我表舅父啊？
109
00:07:26,584 --> 00:07:27,626
我没有这个意思
110
00:07:27,626 --> 00:07:30,709
百无禁忌，不要紧…
111
00:07:37,126 --> 00:07:38,334
你这么不讲卫生啊
112
00:07:38,417 --> 00:07:39,792
我的颈枕呢？
113
00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:41,001
在这里世伯
114
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放下好了
115
00:07:46,626 --> 00:07:48,459
我们圣本善书院
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00:07:48,459 --> 00:07:51,792
是一间校风纯朴的大专院校
117
00:07:51,792 --> 00:07:55,001
阿贵你来教书，一定要有耐性
118
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也都一定要灌输
119
00:07:56,501 --> 00:08:00,001
性本善的优美传统给学生
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00:08:01,834 --> 00:08:02,792
唔该
121
00:08:04,209 --> 00:08:05,584
喝茶…
122
00:08:07,834 --> 00:08:09,334
太离谱了
123
00:08:09,376 --> 00:08:11,501
好辣啊，这茶好辣啊
124
00:08:11,626 --> 00:08:12,251
你没事吧？
125
00:08:12,251 --> 00:08:14,917
热茶当然辣啦，你想害人？
126
00:08:14,917 --> 00:08:17,459
好了…去洗手间，洗个脸了
127
00:08:17,501 --> 00:08:19,667
阿贵，除下眼镜
128
00:08:39,834 --> 00:08:45,667
「寻觅世间梦中天使倾慕」
129
00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:50,876
「谁又了解小生骨气高？」
130
00:08:52,376 --> 00:08:56,709
「论到竞争威武总是我」
131
00:08:58,667 --> 00:09:03,042
「若你怕黑今晚实要我！ 」
132
00:09:04,209 --> 00:09:07,292
「伟大建设我作不到」
133
00:09:07,292 --> 00:09:10,459
「总有温馨的一颗心」
134
00:09:10,459 --> 00:09:13,584
「若你找不到好归宿」
135
00:09:13,584 --> 00:09:16,709
「结伴与我也算不错！ 」
136
00:09:16,709 --> 00:09:19,834
「美貌与智慧我拥有」
137
00:09:19,834 --> 00:09:22,959
「恐怕你一生找不到」
138
00:09:22,959 --> 00:09:26,084
「就算你计较也通过」
139
00:09:26,084 --> 00:09:29,251
「结伴与我也算不错！ 」
140
00:09:29,667 --> 00:09:30,834
我叫阿文
141
00:09:32,667 --> 00:09:33,959
我就是阿武
142
00:09:35,209 --> 00:09:36,626
我叫阿英
143
00:09:38,209 --> 00:09:40,292
我叫阿杰，我喜欢这个结他
144
00:09:41,792 --> 00:09:45,001
「世上我四个最出众」
145
00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:48,042
「不怕四处冷语讥讽」
146
00:09:48,042 --> 00:09:51,167
「遇见你四个也可爱」
147
00:09:51,167 --> 00:09:54,376
「确系与我你够福气！ 」
148
00:09:54,376 --> 00:09:55,251
「世上…」
149
00:09:58,626 --> 00:09:59,626
没唱完吶
150
00:10:00,001 --> 00:10:02,126
各位同学，食物部是给人吃饭
151
00:10:02,126 --> 00:10:03,584
不是给人唱歌的
152
00:10:03,584 --> 00:10:05,084
唏，你是谁？
153
00:10:05,084 --> 00:10:07,751
我是新来的历史系讲师康森贵
154
00:10:07,751 --> 00:10:09,542
现在开始点名
155
00:10:10,167 --> 00:10:11,626
谭咏纶
156
00:10:11,667 --> 00:10:12,584
到
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00:10:13,042 --> 00:10:14,417
钟楚雄
158
00:10:14,417 --> 00:10:15,251
到
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00:10:15,959 --> 00:10:17,167
邓少平
160
00:10:17,251 --> 00:10:18,876
去年已经退学了
161
00:10:19,584 --> 00:10:20,792
赵志杨
162
00:10:20,792 --> 00:10:22,501
被人赶出学校啦！
163
00:10:23,459 --> 00:10:24,334
李棚
164
00:10:24,334 --> 00:10:26,001
死左啦
165
00:10:27,542 --> 00:10:30,251
今天我们研究一下赤鱲角的考古文物
166
00:10:37,459 --> 00:10:39,126
在大屿山的赤鱲角
167
00:10:39,126 --> 00:10:41,417
也就是新机场的兴建地址
168
00:10:41,417 --> 00:10:44,667
这里以前是珠江口的重要市集
169
00:10:44,667 --> 00:10:46,542
地底下面有很多文物
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老师
171
00:10:47,959 --> 00:10:50,751
为什么政府不先把古物掘出来再兴建机场
172
00:10:51,126 --> 00:10:53,042
这样就等如你翘高了脚听书一样
173
00:10:53,042 --> 00:10:53,876
什么意思？
174
00:10:53,876 --> 00:10:55,042
即是戆居
175
00:10:55,084 --> 00:10:56,667
请你把脚放下来
176
00:10:56,792 --> 00:10:58,709
不行，医生说我血压低
177
00:10:58,709 --> 00:11:02,042
如果我不翘高脚，血就上不到脑
178
00:11:02,042 --> 00:11:03,251
会蠢的
179
00:11:04,001 --> 00:11:05,126
老师叫你把脚放下来你不听
180
00:11:05,126 --> 00:11:06,292
就是不给老师面子
181
00:11:06,292 --> 00:11:07,459
这位同学不用冲动
182
00:11:07,459 --> 00:11:09,417
不给老师面子就是不给我面子
183
00:11:10,584 --> 00:11:11,626
去死吧！
184
00:11:12,126 --> 00:11:16,376
血呀…
185
00:11:21,459 --> 00:11:22,792
很像
186
00:11:23,667 --> 00:11:26,917
血案啊，发生血案啦
187
00:11:27,167 --> 00:11:29,376
今天阳光普照，下了班去的士高吧
188
00:11:29,376 --> 00:11:32,292
血案啊…班房发生血案啦
189
00:11:33,709 --> 00:11:34,751
什么事？ 血案啊
190
00:11:34,751 --> 00:11:36,542
有个学生被人刺伤了
191
00:11:38,251 --> 00:11:40,209
校长早晨
192
00:11:40,209 --> 00:11:42,292
差佬早晨
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00:11:44,709 --> 00:11:45,501
没有理由
194
00:11:45,501 --> 00:11:46,834
我们圣本善的学生
195
00:11:46,834 --> 00:11:48,417
连蚂蚁都不敢踩死一只
196
00:11:48,417 --> 00:11:49,251
起来
197
00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:51,792
脱裤子…
198
00:11:51,834 --> 00:11:52,417
阿贵
199
00:11:53,917 --> 00:11:56,917
血案就没有了，风化案就迟早会发生
200
00:11:57,751 --> 00:11:59,292
康老师，跟我来
201
00:12:01,001 --> 00:12:02,584
这次玩死阿SIR啦
202
00:12:14,042 --> 00:12:15,042
送给你的
203
00:12:15,584 --> 00:12:17,167
又花钱买东西，很多钱吶？
204
00:12:17,292 --> 00:12:20,459
朱古力嘛，我现在有工作做
205
00:12:22,084 --> 00:12:24,209
好大雾啊公子，小心…
206
00:12:24,584 --> 00:12:27,501
大家红色车，卡士差太多了
207
00:12:34,001 --> 00:12:37,126
表妹，送只足金的金蛋给你
208
00:12:37,126 --> 00:12:39,042
干什么你无端端送只金蛋给我？
209
00:12:39,042 --> 00:12:40,959
过复活节送礼嘛
210
00:12:41,042 --> 00:12:42,917
他没有送礼物给你吗？
211
00:12:42,917 --> 00:12:43,876
有
212
00:12:46,501 --> 00:12:50,584
表妹，朱古力吃胖人吶
213
00:12:50,584 --> 00:12:52,501
丧标！ 你要增肥
214
00:13:06,251 --> 00:13:07,667
好厉害，公子
215
00:13:08,709 --> 00:13:10,751
打剩两支啦
216
00:13:11,501 --> 00:13:13,126
我都讲明打剩两支了
217
00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:14,834
你以为那么容易打剩两支吗？
218
00:13:14,834 --> 00:13:16,042
这才是技术
219
00:13:18,126 --> 00:13:19,417
姿势
220
00:13:19,876 --> 00:13:22,542
姿势有问题
221
00:13:25,042 --> 00:13:26,334
步法
222
00:13:26,542 --> 00:13:29,334
步法不太好
223
00:13:32,251 --> 00:13:33,417
小心
224
00:13:34,292 --> 00:13:36,334
小心你的腰骨
225
00:13:38,126 --> 00:13:39,917
你全中啊
226
00:13:39,959 --> 00:13:41,834
全靠我叫着他才能全中
227
00:13:41,834 --> 00:13:42,876
你教我打好不好？
228
00:13:42,876 --> 00:13:43,792
我碰巧啊
229
00:13:43,792 --> 00:13:46,376
他真是碰巧，让我教你打
230
00:13:46,584 --> 00:13:47,917
不用了，谢谢
231
00:13:53,876 --> 00:13:55,209
我帮你捡回来
232
00:13:55,834 --> 00:13:58,667
我下次赔个给你啊
233
00:14:00,751 --> 00:14:02,542
眼镜怎么啦？ 没事儿…
234
00:14:18,709 --> 00:14:20,001
全中啦
235
00:14:20,501 --> 00:14:22,709
你打到人家隔壁那条球道啦？
236
00:14:22,834 --> 00:14:24,501
你怎么打到人家隔壁那条球道啦？
237
00:14:25,459 --> 00:14:26,876
没有眼镜
238
00:14:28,834 --> 00:14:30,001
我帮你拿球
239
00:14:30,584 --> 00:14:31,376
谢谢
240
00:14:45,542 --> 00:14:47,042
又全中了
241
00:14:47,209 --> 00:14:49,084
你干什么打着人啦
242
00:14:51,542 --> 00:14:52,876
你怎么啦？
243
00:14:54,876 --> 00:14:56,542
我去厕所洗个脸
244
00:14:59,251 --> 00:15:00,751
头头碰着黑
245
00:15:00,751 --> 00:15:02,417
前世都不知道做错了什么
246
00:15:04,042 --> 00:15:06,126
何事骂前世？
247
00:15:06,959 --> 00:15:08,709
我叫你不要跟住我嘛
248
00:15:11,334 --> 00:15:15,667
后世头头碰着黑，今回非帮不可
249
00:15:16,084 --> 00:15:18,209
就算我是「黑」都不要见到你
250
00:15:18,542 --> 00:15:20,084
黑社会横行？
251
00:15:20,876 --> 00:15:22,959
还不走？你在这儿干什么？
252
00:15:23,417 --> 00:15:25,126
到这里当然是小便啦
253
00:15:25,126 --> 00:15:28,209
实不相瞒，前世守护后世多时了
254
00:15:28,209 --> 00:15:29,834
都也该放放大假
255
00:15:29,834 --> 00:15:31,584
有一点HOLIDAY
256
00:15:32,001 --> 00:15:33,667
你快点搞掂啦
257
00:15:35,042 --> 00:15:37,626
这种事不是说快就快的大哥
258
00:15:37,626 --> 00:15:39,792
你说去芭提雅HAPPY好不好？
259
00:15:39,792 --> 00:15:40,959
你那支东西歪啦
260
00:15:40,959 --> 00:15:42,376
等我帮你把它扶正
261
00:15:43,209 --> 00:15:46,292
救命啊，同性恋啊，色狼啊
262
00:15:46,709 --> 00:15:48,042
又被你害一次
263
00:15:48,167 --> 00:15:49,792
我是无意害你
264
00:15:49,792 --> 00:15:51,959
不过有人故意害你
265
00:15:52,001 --> 00:15:54,834
后世，你被那个刁蛮公主如何侮辱
266
00:15:54,834 --> 00:15:56,459
我都还可以忍你
267
00:15:56,459 --> 00:15:58,334
如今你被个意图侵犯你女友的
268
00:15:58,334 --> 00:15:59,542
男人侮辱
269
00:15:59,542 --> 00:16:02,376
我是事可忍孰不可忍也
270
00:16:03,001 --> 00:16:04,626
不关你的事，你不要八卦
271
00:16:04,626 --> 00:16:06,001
他玩弄我的后世
272
00:16:06,001 --> 00:16:07,626
也就是玩弄你的前世
273
00:16:07,626 --> 00:16:10,167
我就等他过不了下半世
274
00:16:10,626 --> 00:16:11,709
你不要乱来
275
00:16:14,417 --> 00:16:15,501
谁呀…
276
00:16:18,167 --> 00:16:19,167
亚贵
277
00:16:25,001 --> 00:16:25,959
去死啊
278
00:16:30,917 --> 00:16:31,959
干什么，表哥？
279
00:16:32,251 --> 00:16:33,792
没事…
280
00:16:42,167 --> 00:16:45,209
好极了，全中啦
281
00:16:45,209 --> 00:16:47,251
运气不是每天有的
282
00:17:07,501 --> 00:17:10,667
我又全中了
283
00:17:10,751 --> 00:17:13,209
不可能的，一定不可能的
284
00:17:31,876 --> 00:17:34,084
表哥，你今天是不是撞邪了？
285
00:17:34,459 --> 00:17:36,417
我就是不信邪
286
00:17:38,751 --> 00:17:41,542
前世…不好乱搞啊
287
00:17:50,959 --> 00:17:51,917
想不到你这么阴毒
288
00:17:51,917 --> 00:17:53,001
推我表哥掉到坑里
289
00:17:53,709 --> 00:17:57,334
安妮，不关我的事啊，我没推他掉坑里
290
00:17:57,334 --> 00:17:58,667
是他推我的
291
00:17:59,584 --> 00:18:00,959
是他推我的
292
00:18:01,001 --> 00:18:02,126
你还抵赖？
293
00:18:03,334 --> 00:18:04,126
不要走啊
294
00:18:04,126 --> 00:18:06,792
等等我啊，表妹等等我啊
295
00:18:07,209 --> 00:18:08,292
我肯定听到她们说
296
00:18:08,292 --> 00:18:10,001
来赤鱲角沙滩游水呀
297
00:18:10,001 --> 00:18:11,417
不见人你就死啦
298
00:18:18,751 --> 00:18:23,709
「满带理想的我曾经多冲动」
299
00:18:23,917 --> 00:18:25,584
裸泳呀
300
00:18:25,584 --> 00:18:26,792
看看
301
00:18:29,667 --> 00:18:31,001
BB仔来的
302
00:18:31,001 --> 00:18:33,292
「愿你此刻可会知」
303
00:18:33,626 --> 00:18:37,459
「是我衷心的说声」
304
00:18:39,084 --> 00:18:42,167
「喜欢你」
305
00:18:42,167 --> 00:18:44,626
「那双眼动人」
306
00:18:45,334 --> 00:18:47,959
「笑声更迷人」
307
00:18:48,501 --> 00:18:54,417
「愿再可 轻抚你」
308
00:18:54,751 --> 00:18:57,292
「那可爱面容」
309
00:18:57,876 --> 00:19:00,334
「挽手说梦话」
310
00:19:01,042 --> 00:19:07,376
「像昨天 你共我」
311
00:19:31,626 --> 00:19:35,501
「每晚夜里自我独行」
312
00:19:35,501 --> 00:19:38,042
「随处荡」
313
00:19:38,584 --> 00:19:41,459
「多冰冷」
314
00:19:44,126 --> 00:19:48,042
「以往为了自我挣扎」
315
00:19:48,042 --> 00:19:50,626
「从不知」
316
00:19:51,167 --> 00:19:55,834
「她的痛苦」
317
00:19:57,459 --> 00:20:00,292
「喜欢你」
318
00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:03,126
「那双眼动人」
319
00:20:03,751 --> 00:20:06,876
「笑声更迷人」
320
00:20:06,876 --> 00:20:13,209
「愿再可 轻抚你」
321
00:20:13,209 --> 00:20:15,709
「那可爱面容」
322
00:20:16,292 --> 00:20:19,001
「挽手说梦话」
323
00:20:19,459 --> 00:20:25,751
「像昨天 你共我」
324
00:20:50,334 --> 00:20:51,501
没希望了
325
00:20:54,376 --> 00:20:55,542
你们有宝呀？
326
00:20:55,542 --> 00:20:56,834
你以为你哪儿好
327
00:20:56,959 --> 00:20:58,417
放弃啦
328
00:20:58,501 --> 00:21:00,709
这几个女孩子以后都要放弃啦
329
00:21:00,834 --> 00:21:03,001
还有一个钟头就没船回九龙啦
330
00:21:05,834 --> 00:21:08,126
赶不到船，在大屿山吃草啦
331
00:21:10,792 --> 00:21:13,251
快点儿啦，赶不及啦
332
00:21:14,084 --> 00:21:16,584
不行，我尿急，我要去小便
333
00:21:17,751 --> 00:21:20,917
逆风尿湿裤，顺风尿得远
334
00:21:21,001 --> 00:21:22,334
唔该借歪，唔该借歪
335
00:21:22,584 --> 00:21:23,876
真是麻烦
336
00:21:27,709 --> 00:21:30,209
咦！ 这么亮啊
337
00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:36,376
下面有东西啊
338
00:21:36,417 --> 00:21:37,542
踩着狗屎啦？
339
00:21:37,542 --> 00:21:39,251
不是啊，过来看看呀
340
00:21:39,251 --> 00:21:40,751
狗屎也好看吗？
341
00:21:43,001 --> 00:21:44,626
真是啊，真的有东西
342
00:21:47,584 --> 00:21:49,709
一定有宝
343
00:21:50,501 --> 00:21:51,209
小心
344
00:21:51,209 --> 00:21:52,376
沿着树藤下去
345
00:22:01,334 --> 00:22:02,459
下去下去…
346
00:22:06,876 --> 00:22:08,167
是这一块
347
00:22:09,709 --> 00:22:10,876
肯定是古董
348
00:22:12,792 --> 00:22:14,042
阿SIR都说这里很多古董
349
00:22:14,042 --> 00:22:15,251
不知道值多少钱呢？
350
00:22:15,251 --> 00:22:16,834
一定值钱
351
00:22:18,084 --> 00:22:19,834
里面又有东西啊
352
00:22:21,001 --> 00:22:22,876
好像有人坐在里面呀
353
00:22:26,376 --> 00:22:27,501
进去看看
354
00:22:27,709 --> 00:22:28,792
我带头
355
00:22:46,251 --> 00:22:47,917
这副东西值钱啰
356
00:22:51,001 --> 00:22:51,792
老鼠啊
357
00:22:52,542 --> 00:22:53,917
救命啊
358
00:22:55,959 --> 00:22:57,584
地上没有
359
00:22:58,626 --> 00:23:01,209
还是戴回帽子安全一点儿
360
00:23:07,542 --> 00:23:08,917
在你头上
361
00:23:11,417 --> 00:23:12,334
不见了
362
00:23:12,584 --> 00:23:13,709
到哪儿去了呢？
363
00:23:14,167 --> 00:23:15,167
什么家伙？
364
00:23:16,084 --> 00:23:17,209
在我身内呀
365
00:23:21,417 --> 00:23:26,292
好多老鼠啊…
366
00:23:28,376 --> 00:23:29,501
你干什么呀？
367
00:23:29,542 --> 00:23:30,792
较脚
368
00:23:35,084 --> 00:23:40,417
快走啊，有蛇呀…
369
00:23:41,251 --> 00:23:43,209
镇定！ 镇定！ 镇定！
370
00:23:46,709 --> 00:23:48,209
蛇都被你弄死了
371
00:23:48,209 --> 00:23:49,792
行了，既然蛇都死了
372
00:23:49,792 --> 00:23:52,917
拿副盔甲回去，一脱手就换副卡拉OK
373
00:24:02,667 --> 00:24:03,876
无胆匪类
374
00:24:11,001 --> 00:24:13,251
怎么我给烂铜铁冲凉
375
00:24:13,251 --> 00:24:16,792
一个二个走去风骚，都不是兄弟
376
00:24:19,584 --> 00:24:21,751
什么都要我一个人做
377
00:24:21,751 --> 00:24:23,667
讨厌加讨厌
378
00:24:34,209 --> 00:24:35,834
向我下手嘛，笨
379
00:24:39,584 --> 00:24:42,376
这里就是了，过来啦
380
00:24:45,667 --> 00:24:47,709
捡不到四个橙，捡回三个桔啦
381
00:24:48,709 --> 00:24:49,834
阿英呢？
382
00:24:49,917 --> 00:24:51,876
大概上天台收衣服啦
383
00:24:55,584 --> 00:24:57,084
这个阿英真是的
384
00:25:00,876 --> 00:25:02,417
是古董啊
385
00:25:02,792 --> 00:25:04,584
不错吧？一百多年历史啦
386
00:25:04,584 --> 00:25:06,459
死人的东西，很邪门的
387
00:25:06,501 --> 00:25:07,667
怎么会呢
388
00:25:10,084 --> 00:25:11,709
搞点气氛嘛
389
00:25:23,459 --> 00:25:28,834
鬼呀…
390
00:25:57,251 --> 00:26:00,167
不要…对不起，我是玩玩而已
391
00:26:00,167 --> 00:26:01,792
几位大哥手下留情
392
00:26:01,792 --> 00:26:03,584
千万不要打坏了我的结他
393
00:26:03,584 --> 00:26:05,084
不打结他就打他人啦
394
00:26:05,167 --> 00:26:07,209
当然要打啦，脱掉衣服打
395
00:26:07,251 --> 00:26:08,334
不要…
396
00:26:08,626 --> 00:26:10,251
我不好，我不是人
397
00:26:10,251 --> 00:26:11,376
我为了认错
398
00:26:11,376 --> 00:26:13,626
决定在两个月之内，给你们铺床
399
00:26:13,626 --> 00:26:16,376
洗衣服 、 听电话 、 浇花
400
00:26:16,459 --> 00:26:19,167
三位大哥放心去混
401
00:26:19,167 --> 00:26:20,501
不用理我啦
402
00:26:21,251 --> 00:26:23,542
句句真话并无虚言
403
00:26:23,959 --> 00:26:26,792
如果我说大话，生儿子没有屁股
404
00:26:26,792 --> 00:26:28,126
这就对了
405
00:26:55,751 --> 00:26:57,334
作弄我？
406
00:26:59,667 --> 00:27:01,292
死呀
407
00:27:01,292 --> 00:27:02,459
还不死？
408
00:27:23,376 --> 00:27:26,001
活蟑螂止夜尿，益了你了
409
00:27:26,001 --> 00:27:27,959
我先去撒尿啦
410
00:27:37,542 --> 00:27:39,667
康老师，试试这件魔术袍
411
00:27:44,959 --> 00:27:45,959
车死你呀
412
00:27:50,084 --> 00:27:51,292
公子
413
00:27:53,542 --> 00:27:56,376
表妹 表哥
414
00:27:59,667 --> 00:28:02,959
每逢佳节倍思亲，小小礼物不成敬意
415
00:28:02,959 --> 00:28:05,251
上次说是复活节，这次是什么？
416
00:28:05,251 --> 00:28:07,001
我祝你清明节快乐
417
00:28:07,001 --> 00:28:08,626
MERRY CHING MING
418
00:28:08,626 --> 00:28:10,167
等到拜山再说啦
419
00:28:11,417 --> 00:28:12,792
不错，很漂亮
420
00:28:13,209 --> 00:28:15,084
师母，帮我们拍MTV呀
421
00:28:15,501 --> 00:28:17,834
丧标，帮安妮小姐拿录象机
422
00:28:17,834 --> 00:28:20,209
我会帮康老师搞掂啦
423
00:28:23,126 --> 00:28:26,084
整块板铲过来，好毒辣啊
424
00:28:33,001 --> 00:28:35,584
教书佬，你上次扔我落坑
425
00:28:35,584 --> 00:28:37,542
这笔帐我不跟你算了
426
00:28:37,542 --> 00:28:38,959
我大人有大量
427
00:28:39,417 --> 00:28:41,292
和我争女人
428
00:28:41,834 --> 00:28:43,667
你自己找麻烦
429
00:28:43,667 --> 00:28:45,626
我一天的股票上落
430
00:28:45,626 --> 00:28:47,917
你教三辈子书也赚不到
431
00:28:48,459 --> 00:28:50,251
以后不要缠住安妮
432
00:28:50,834 --> 00:28:53,334
这样我就给你一次机会
433
00:28:53,501 --> 00:28:57,084
等你赚一笔，十万够不够？
434
00:28:58,334 --> 00:29:00,542
机会只提供一次啊
435
00:29:00,584 --> 00:29:03,126
对不起，我不是公司，没得收购啊
436
00:29:04,334 --> 00:29:05,876
教书佬，你好了吧
437
00:29:05,876 --> 00:29:09,334
我要赢你，还容易过踩死一只蚂蚁呀
438
00:29:13,334 --> 00:29:16,001
糟了，安妮一定说我故意打晕他的
439
00:29:19,292 --> 00:29:20,251
阿贵
440
00:29:20,584 --> 00:29:21,834
我们过去看看他
441
00:29:23,876 --> 00:29:25,376
你坐在这儿干什么？
442
00:29:25,626 --> 00:29:26,751
坐着？
443
00:29:27,959 --> 00:29:29,417
摊位准备得怎么样啦？
444
00:29:29,417 --> 00:29:30,584
都准备好了
445
00:29:32,626 --> 00:29:34,834
我的鞋带脱了
446
00:29:36,417 --> 00:29:37,542
我表哥呢
447
00:29:39,292 --> 00:29:41,126
表哥！ 不知道
448
00:29:42,334 --> 00:29:44,501
有蚊子咬，好痒
449
00:29:46,084 --> 00:29:48,459
你先跟爸聊聊天，我到周围看看
450
00:29:51,834 --> 00:29:54,751
魔术准备好了没有？
451
00:29:55,209 --> 00:29:56,584
都准备好了
452
00:30:00,751 --> 00:30:02,167
搵工跳槽…
453
00:30:02,209 --> 00:30:04,626
你刚刚才上工
454
00:30:04,626 --> 00:30:07,209
不是…我想表演魔术了之后
455
00:30:07,209 --> 00:30:09,084
再跳肯肯舞
456
00:30:22,126 --> 00:30:23,667
准备还唱大戏呀？
457
00:30:23,667 --> 00:30:24,917
是啊，还唱大戏
458
00:30:24,917 --> 00:30:26,376
精彩
459
00:30:40,084 --> 00:30:41,209
康老师
460
00:30:45,209 --> 00:30:48,251
我来介绍，这位新来的训导主任朱太
461
00:30:48,751 --> 00:30:50,501
欢迎！ 欢迎！
462
00:30:54,584 --> 00:30:56,167
康老师教书很好
463
00:30:56,167 --> 00:30:57,626
行为古怪一点
464
00:31:04,417 --> 00:31:05,667
请多多指教
465
00:31:08,626 --> 00:31:09,917
怎么你…
466
00:31:12,876 --> 00:31:14,042
安妮呢？
467
00:31:14,626 --> 00:31:15,751
到那边去了
468
00:31:15,959 --> 00:31:19,834
那边…
469
00:31:20,667 --> 00:31:21,876
去找她
470
00:31:45,709 --> 00:31:49,667
「无法可修饰的一对手」
471
00:31:49,667 --> 00:31:52,542
「带出温暖永远在背后」
472
00:31:52,917 --> 00:31:54,917
「纵使啰唆始终关注」
473
00:31:54,917 --> 00:31:57,876
「不懂珍惜太内咎」
474
00:31:58,584 --> 00:32:02,626
「沉醉于音阶她不赞赏」
475
00:32:02,626 --> 00:32:05,917
「母亲的爱却永未退让」
476
00:32:05,917 --> 00:32:07,917
「决心冲开心中挣扎」
477
00:32:07,917 --> 00:32:11,042
「亲恩终可报答」
478
00:32:11,959 --> 00:32:15,209
「春风化雨暖透我的心」
479
00:32:15,209 --> 00:32:19,459
「一生眷顾无言地送赠」
480
00:32:20,126 --> 00:32:23,417
「是你多么温馨的目光」
481
00:32:23,792 --> 00:32:26,626
「教我坚毅望着前路」
482
00:32:26,667 --> 00:32:27,792
何事兴奋？
483
00:32:27,959 --> 00:32:29,251
兴奋为何？
484
00:32:29,292 --> 00:32:30,667
不准兴奋！
485
00:32:33,167 --> 00:32:36,209
「没法解释怎可报尽亲恩」
486
00:32:36,792 --> 00:32:39,626
「爱意宽大是无限」
487
00:32:40,084 --> 00:32:44,917
「请准我说声真的爱你」
488
00:32:44,959 --> 00:32:46,917
BEHIND…BEHIND…
489
00:32:46,917 --> 00:32:48,709
守行为！ 守行为！
490
00:32:48,709 --> 00:32:56,876
BEHIND…BEHIND…
491
00:33:15,209 --> 00:33:16,334
准备好了没有？
492
00:33:16,334 --> 00:33:17,417
准备好了
493
00:33:19,334 --> 00:33:21,084
有没有搞错，这些东西都玩？
494
00:33:21,834 --> 00:33:22,876
脱下眼镜
495
00:33:31,709 --> 00:33:36,334
HI，后世有礼
496
00:33:36,334 --> 00:33:37,626
原来又是你在搞鬼
497
00:33:38,209 --> 00:33:42,501
后世，我们堂堂男子汉，互诉心声
498
00:33:42,501 --> 00:33:45,709
又岂容个女流之辈在打扰呢
499
00:33:46,209 --> 00:33:47,542
互诉心声？
500
00:33:48,167 --> 00:33:50,792
我跟你那有心声啊，「兜巴星」就有
501
00:33:51,209 --> 00:33:52,251
后世
502
00:33:52,251 --> 00:33:54,959
我有一个好消息，一个坏消相告
503
00:33:55,084 --> 00:33:56,042
讲野？
504
00:33:57,084 --> 00:34:00,292
坏消息就是我不可以再守护你
505
00:34:00,292 --> 00:34:03,334
我要跟后世永别啦
506
00:34:03,334 --> 00:34:05,334
好！ 这个才是好消息
507
00:34:06,042 --> 00:34:08,126
你的所谓好消息就是坏的
508
00:34:08,126 --> 00:34:09,209
到底是什么？
509
00:34:09,209 --> 00:34:11,042
康老师，到我们上台啦
510
00:34:12,001 --> 00:34:15,584
开幕闭幕，上台落台
511
00:34:15,584 --> 00:34:17,626
后世，你还是请先出台吧
512
00:34:17,626 --> 00:34:18,959
你先把好消息说出来
513
00:34:19,042 --> 00:34:22,834
请先出台，出台…
514
00:34:38,584 --> 00:34:40,334
他不知道是不是故意的啊
515
00:34:42,626 --> 00:34:44,542
真是故意的啊
516
00:34:51,709 --> 00:34:53,709
他学了一晚上了
517
00:35:11,209 --> 00:35:13,501
傻瓜来的 吵什么，打你呀
518
00:35:18,376 --> 00:35:22,251
骗人的，他的魔术骗人的
519
00:35:22,251 --> 00:35:23,834
是掩眼法啊
520
00:35:24,209 --> 00:35:27,959
鸡蛋在这儿…
521
00:35:29,001 --> 00:35:30,126
在这儿啦
522
00:35:31,376 --> 00:35:34,084
牛奶是杯中有杯
523
00:35:34,209 --> 00:35:36,126
这只杯倒进这只杯里
524
00:35:38,626 --> 00:35:40,501
嘘他吧！ …
525
00:35:45,709 --> 00:35:46,917
毛巾
526
00:35:47,709 --> 00:35:49,292
啤牌
527
00:35:49,792 --> 00:35:51,626
还有啊，花
528
00:35:52,876 --> 00:35:54,626
他的魔术骗人的
529
00:35:56,626 --> 00:35:59,584
看你笨手笨脚前世一定是猪
530
00:35:59,792 --> 00:36:00,876
我？
531
00:36:06,334 --> 00:36:08,376
大型魔术嘛
532
00:36:08,542 --> 00:36:10,001
变我！ 变我！
533
00:36:10,001 --> 00:36:11,792
赵公子不要玩我啦
534
00:36:11,792 --> 00:36:13,709
我自己玩儿自己嘛
535
00:36:13,751 --> 00:36:15,376
变我啦
536
00:36:15,376 --> 00:36:16,376
我就最合适啦
537
00:36:16,376 --> 00:36:18,126
变我啦，我是人办来的
538
00:36:18,209 --> 00:36:20,084
来啦，谢谢
539
00:36:22,459 --> 00:36:24,751
看你变出什么花样来
540
00:36:30,209 --> 00:36:33,501
凼凼转，菊花园，炒米饼？
541
00:36:53,334 --> 00:36:57,459
公子，你没有事吧？
542
00:37:15,334 --> 00:37:16,292
我知道他的秘密
543
00:37:16,292 --> 00:37:17,876
我一会儿爆给你们听呀
544
00:37:32,334 --> 00:37:34,417
我的屁股去到前面啦
545
00:37:36,126 --> 00:37:38,876
从来没有人告诉我，我的屁股这么大
546
00:37:40,001 --> 00:37:41,959
我的屁股在前面啊
547
00:37:43,542 --> 00:37:44,542
好痒啊
548
00:37:45,001 --> 00:37:45,792
痒死我了
549
00:37:45,792 --> 00:37:50,334
公子，没事吧？ 好痒呀！
550
00:37:50,459 --> 00:37:51,459
这个死人魔术佬
551
00:37:51,459 --> 00:37:52,626
变了我的屁股在前面啊
552
00:37:52,709 --> 00:37:54,834
回去吧 我要报仇啊
553
00:37:54,917 --> 00:37:56,417
我怎么去厕所？
554
00:37:56,459 --> 00:37:57,709
OH SHIT！
555
00:37:57,709 --> 00:37:58,959
回去吧
556
00:38:01,876 --> 00:38:04,667
你怎么啦？朱太
557
00:38:06,959 --> 00:38:09,751
前世，你在哪里？快点出来
558
00:38:11,376 --> 00:38:12,584
一个月之内
559
00:38:12,584 --> 00:38:15,167
他的八月十五就会返回原位
560
00:38:15,167 --> 00:38:16,334
放心啦
561
00:38:16,417 --> 00:38:18,167
我给你害死了
562
00:38:18,167 --> 00:38:20,292
尽最后一分绵力
563
00:38:20,292 --> 00:38:23,376
后世又何必怒目横眉以待
564
00:38:23,376 --> 00:38:26,126
不如听我的好消息罢
565
00:38:26,251 --> 00:38:28,292
你的前世做得好事多
566
00:38:28,292 --> 00:38:31,501
所以玉皇大帝要派我去西天成佛
567
00:38:31,501 --> 00:38:35,126
以后我不是开心鬼，是开心佛呀
568
00:38:36,542 --> 00:38:41,167
后世，物轻情意重，千里送条毛
569
00:38:41,501 --> 00:38:43,459
千万不要忘记我
570
00:38:43,501 --> 00:38:44,667
七七四十九日之内
571
00:38:44,667 --> 00:38:46,084
还想要我帮忙的话
572
00:38:46,084 --> 00:38:48,751
可以烧这毛叫我回来
573
00:38:49,209 --> 00:38:51,542
这条毛很有法力的
574
00:38:51,542 --> 00:38:53,876
好…再见
575
00:38:54,167 --> 00:38:55,501
不再见
576
00:38:55,876 --> 00:38:58,167
喂，你的茶煲（麻烦）又来了
577
00:38:58,167 --> 00:39:01,709
前世先行告退
578
00:39:02,584 --> 00:39:06,167
前世…前世…我脱离啦，好极了
579
00:39:06,292 --> 00:39:07,834
你还笑得出来？
580
00:39:09,709 --> 00:39:11,251
我表哥被你害死啦
581
00:39:11,709 --> 00:39:12,917
安妮
582
00:39:16,417 --> 00:39:17,584
安妮
583
00:39:24,126 --> 00:39:26,917
丧标，这个仇我一定要报的
584
00:39:27,334 --> 00:39:28,292
其实这样也很好啊
585
00:39:28,292 --> 00:39:30,042
小便时不怕人笃背脊
586
00:39:30,042 --> 00:39:31,084
还说！
587
00:39:31,084 --> 00:39:32,751
是嘛，一面儿小便
588
00:39:32,751 --> 00:39:35,084
一面儿照镜子，省时间嘛
589
00:39:35,084 --> 00:39:36,209
丧标
590
00:39:37,167 --> 00:39:39,042
我明天去美国做矫形手术
591
00:39:39,042 --> 00:39:41,292
回来我不要见到那个教书佬
592
00:39:42,334 --> 00:39:44,251
想要买车 、 买楼 、 买绿卡
593
00:39:44,251 --> 00:39:45,667
帮我买起他
594
00:39:46,917 --> 00:39:48,751
我一定做得干干净净的
595
00:39:56,042 --> 00:39:57,292
来啦…
596
00:40:01,876 --> 00:40:03,626
我知道你现在想什么
597
00:40:03,876 --> 00:40:05,042
你嫌我那天跟你发脾气
598
00:40:05,042 --> 00:40:06,334
应该来向你道歉
599
00:40:06,334 --> 00:40:07,417
不敢当
600
00:40:08,209 --> 00:40:10,126
你错了，我刚刚去送完表哥的飞机
601
00:40:10,126 --> 00:40:12,542
你害得他那样子应该向我道歉
602
00:40:12,542 --> 00:40:14,209
等我洗完了头，很刺眼吶
603
00:40:14,417 --> 00:40:15,959
整古整怪
604
00:40:22,626 --> 00:40:24,876
又买无聊的东西，糟蹋钱
605
00:40:52,251 --> 00:40:53,542
这么快就走了
606
00:40:56,001 --> 00:40:58,042
康先生，不好意思
607
00:40:58,042 --> 00:40:59,376
我老婆叫我通知你
608
00:40:59,376 --> 00:41:00,792
下个月加四百块租
609
00:41:00,792 --> 00:41:02,834
又加？有没有得商量？
610
00:41:02,834 --> 00:41:05,084
女人那有商量？
611
00:41:05,084 --> 00:41:06,792
你那个有没有得商量？
612
00:41:06,792 --> 00:41:07,834
那没有啊
613
00:41:07,834 --> 00:41:09,042
那就对了
614
00:41:09,042 --> 00:41:13,542
女人吶蛮不讲理的，尤其是你那个
615
00:41:13,584 --> 00:41:15,417
全街都知道啦
616
00:41:16,126 --> 00:41:17,334
她是野蛮一点儿
617
00:41:17,334 --> 00:41:19,459
不过也是为给我省钱嘛
618
00:41:19,459 --> 00:41:22,334
这样，我拿主意了，加三百好不好？
619
00:41:22,334 --> 00:41:23,834
我就无所谓了
620
00:41:23,834 --> 00:41:25,584
你知道我女朋友很烦的了
621
00:41:25,584 --> 00:41:27,834
一会儿说我好懦弱，被人欺负
622
00:41:27,834 --> 00:41:31,917
那不行啊，女人教不好，就要骂
623
00:41:32,001 --> 00:41:34,001
骂不好呢，就要「丙」
624
00:41:34,334 --> 00:41:34,959
丙？
625
00:41:34,959 --> 00:41:36,751
丙就丙了，你不敢打她？
626
00:41:36,751 --> 00:41:37,792
怎么不敢打
627
00:41:37,792 --> 00:41:40,417
试试她欺负到我身上，我迟早打她
628
00:41:40,751 --> 00:41:42,251
你别看我斯斯文文
629
00:41:42,251 --> 00:41:44,876
我发起火上来，可不简单
630
00:41:46,626 --> 00:41:48,084
不用怕，我不会打死她的
631
00:41:48,084 --> 00:41:49,834
最多打得她进医院
632
00:41:51,751 --> 00:41:54,417
我不加你租了，你这间是鬼屋来的
633
00:41:55,376 --> 00:41:56,334
鬼屋？
634
00:41:58,001 --> 00:42:00,542
前世，好出来了，不要玩儿啦
635
00:42:00,542 --> 00:42:01,876
玩你的头
636
00:42:01,876 --> 00:42:04,209
你个衰佬，当我们女人没到啊
637
00:42:04,209 --> 00:42:06,167
被女人搞得我神经衰弱
638
00:42:09,584 --> 00:42:10,417
怎么你在这儿啦？
639
00:42:10,417 --> 00:42:12,126
等你丙啊，丙啦
640
00:42:12,584 --> 00:42:14,167
我以为你走了嘛
641
00:42:14,167 --> 00:42:15,709
你一直就当我隐形啦
642
00:42:16,334 --> 00:42:17,542
除眼镜
643
00:42:48,876 --> 00:42:50,001
真是失魂鱼
644
00:43:09,542 --> 00:43:11,001
真是死得惨
645
00:43:11,417 --> 00:43:13,167
太残忍啦
646
00:43:33,209 --> 00:43:35,626
一次就搞掂了，真是叻仔
647
00:43:43,251 --> 00:43:46,376
垃圾车返来呀
648
00:43:48,834 --> 00:43:49,959
我要见小姐
649
00:43:49,959 --> 00:43:52,376
不在家…你走吧…
650
00:43:54,084 --> 00:43:55,417
不是男人
651
00:45:58,542 --> 00:45:59,751
好漂亮
652
00:46:02,876 --> 00:46:04,209
黑过我的心
653
00:46:08,417 --> 00:46:09,834
没得玩儿
654
00:46:17,751 --> 00:46:18,959
这才好玩儿
655
00:46:27,334 --> 00:46:29,876
你这个色狼，看我上厕所
656
00:46:29,876 --> 00:46:31,042
打死你呀
657
00:46:35,167 --> 00:46:39,626
安妮，我那天不是当你没到啊
658
00:46:39,667 --> 00:46:42,667
这件事不是那么简单的，你听我说呀
659
00:46:48,917 --> 00:46:50,417
安妮…
660
00:46:51,042 --> 00:46:52,501
是误会来的
661
00:46:52,542 --> 00:46:53,876
是因为那条毛
662
00:46:56,917 --> 00:46:58,292
是那么那条毛
663
00:47:01,417 --> 00:47:03,042
请你先看过来
664
00:47:04,084 --> 00:47:05,667
我可以示范给你看啊
665
00:47:12,917 --> 00:47:14,292
你看过来吧！
666
00:47:14,917 --> 00:47:16,084
我示范给你看了
667
00:47:21,334 --> 00:47:25,084
喂，你看过来呀，看过来呀
668
00:47:25,376 --> 00:47:27,251
是不是看不见我呀？
669
00:47:28,417 --> 00:47:31,084
你先别走哇
670
00:47:32,751 --> 00:47:34,376
鬼呀
671
00:47:40,584 --> 00:47:42,334
糟了，他到哪里去了？
672
00:47:45,001 --> 00:47:46,751
安妮，你给我机会解释好不好？
673
00:47:46,751 --> 00:47:48,709
好，今晚中东餐厅见
674
00:48:15,417 --> 00:48:16,501
对不起
675
00:48:19,959 --> 00:48:20,959
是我的
676
00:48:21,417 --> 00:48:23,626
谢谢
677
00:48:24,584 --> 00:48:25,584
安妮
678
00:48:27,209 --> 00:48:28,584
你什么都不用说
679
00:48:28,584 --> 00:48:30,959
等一会你见到的东西，是无法解释的
680
00:48:30,959 --> 00:48:33,917
当你见到一切之后，也都不需要解释
681
00:48:34,584 --> 00:48:37,376
拿，你不用怕，千万不要乱叫啊
682
00:48:40,084 --> 00:48:42,334
看不见我了吧？我隐形啦
683
00:48:43,209 --> 00:48:44,709
拿，又见到我啦
684
00:48:44,792 --> 00:48:46,042
是不是很好玩儿呀？
685
00:48:47,251 --> 00:48:48,542
给点东西你看
686
00:48:48,542 --> 00:48:49,709
失陪一会
687
00:49:09,542 --> 00:49:10,792
是不是很过瘾吶？
688
00:49:10,792 --> 00:49:12,584
以后你也可以拿条毛去隐形的
689
00:49:13,167 --> 00:49:14,501
先喝口酒
690
00:49:27,209 --> 00:49:28,417
那酒好酸
691
00:49:31,751 --> 00:49:33,251
两杯义大利咖啡
692
00:49:34,709 --> 00:49:36,917
不要看，那男人是疯子
693
00:49:38,709 --> 00:49:39,792
咖啡
694
00:49:40,876 --> 00:49:42,167
多谢 谢谢你
695
00:49:42,709 --> 00:49:43,834
你跟他很热的？
696
00:49:43,834 --> 00:49:44,501
不是
697
00:49:44,501 --> 00:49:46,292
不过那变态佬，给贴士很重手的
698
00:49:46,292 --> 00:49:48,042
让他玩弄一下啦
699
00:49:49,542 --> 00:49:50,959
又见到我啦
700
00:49:52,084 --> 00:49:53,292
我先去去厕所
701
00:49:55,501 --> 00:49:56,751
等等我
702
00:50:18,167 --> 00:50:20,334
你们又会见到我？
703
00:50:27,334 --> 00:50:29,126
小姐小姐小姐
704
00:50:30,001 --> 00:50:31,001
做什么你？
705
00:50:33,959 --> 00:50:35,292
有没有看见我条毛？
706
00:50:35,334 --> 00:50:36,376
你下面那堆毛
707
00:50:36,459 --> 00:50:37,626
色狼
708
00:50:46,542 --> 00:50:48,376
我这回都不知道怎么解释才好了
709
00:50:48,542 --> 00:50:51,709
不用解释，因为你根本是神经病
710
00:50:53,084 --> 00:50:54,251
安妮
711
00:51:52,751 --> 00:51:54,417
这是什么世界
712
00:52:12,251 --> 00:52:13,751
太后吉祥
713
00:52:38,834 --> 00:52:40,376
这个女的？
714
00:52:49,667 --> 00:52:51,501
是她
715
00:52:57,417 --> 00:52:59,459
还是这么厉害
716
00:53:03,459 --> 00:53:05,084
阿毛，我们扶你过马路啦
717
00:53:05,084 --> 00:53:06,209
谢谢
718
00:53:09,959 --> 00:53:13,626
救命啊…
719
00:53:15,001 --> 00:53:16,834
正盲毛
720
00:53:17,626 --> 00:53:20,001
传说金字塔的中央部位
721
00:53:20,001 --> 00:53:22,709
是有保持物质不变的神奇力量
722
00:53:23,001 --> 00:53:24,834
所以埃及历代的帝皇
723
00:53:24,834 --> 00:53:26,834
都小心制造木乃伊
724
00:53:26,834 --> 00:53:28,792
将它储存在金字塔里面
725
00:53:28,792 --> 00:53:30,751
因为他们相信死者的肉身
726
00:53:30,751 --> 00:53:33,584
是不会变坏，和会腐烂
727
00:53:33,667 --> 00:53:35,084
将来科学倡明
728
00:53:35,084 --> 00:53:36,917
还有复活的可能
729
00:53:37,167 --> 00:53:38,584
曾经有一位科学家
730
00:53:38,584 --> 00:53:40,834
做了个同样比例的金字塔
731
00:53:40,834 --> 00:53:43,167
将半边苹果放在里面
732
00:53:43,167 --> 00:53:44,334
两个礼拜之后
733
00:53:44,334 --> 00:53:46,126
那个苹果非但没有变坏
734
00:53:46,126 --> 00:53:47,792
连半点瘀黑都没有
735
00:53:48,376 --> 00:53:50,667
两个礼拜之后，我们看看个结果
736
00:53:50,792 --> 00:53:52,084
就可以证实金字塔
737
00:53:52,084 --> 00:53:55,126
是不是有保特物质不变的神奇力量
738
00:54:03,792 --> 00:54:04,792
他发生了什么事？
739
00:54:04,792 --> 00:54:05,834
吃了你的毒苹果啊
740
00:54:05,834 --> 00:54:07,376
那就先扶他到医疗室去
741
00:54:07,959 --> 00:54:09,459
你们继续温习啦
742
00:54:10,917 --> 00:54:12,001
先扶他坐下
743
00:54:15,917 --> 00:54:17,209
你觉得怎么样？
744
00:54:18,417 --> 00:54:21,292
做什么？你们做什么？
745
00:54:21,292 --> 00:54:22,792
你的未婚妻在哪里？
746
00:54:22,792 --> 00:54:23,417
那一个？
747
00:54:23,417 --> 00:54:24,376
你有好多个吗？
748
00:54:24,376 --> 00:54:25,334
安妮
749
00:54:25,542 --> 00:54:26,834
你们找她干什么？
750
00:54:27,334 --> 00:54:28,334
说
751
00:54:30,251 --> 00:54:31,126
说
752
00:54:39,126 --> 00:54:40,292
你是什么人？
753
00:54:40,292 --> 00:54:42,001
你们是不是受黑社会操纵？
754
00:54:42,001 --> 00:54:43,792
是的，就向我举报
755
00:54:43,792 --> 00:54:46,334
康SIR快点讲安妮住在那里
756
00:54:47,667 --> 00:54:49,084
你们想绑票？
757
00:55:03,792 --> 00:55:06,709
康SIR你再不说，我就全拔掉你的牙
758
00:55:10,667 --> 00:55:12,417
我说不出来了
759
00:55:12,751 --> 00:55:15,001
我写给你好不好？
760
00:55:17,167 --> 00:55:20,084
写，快点写，快点
761
00:55:25,792 --> 00:55:27,834
他在哪里？
762
00:55:27,876 --> 00:55:29,209
在这里
763
00:55:33,792 --> 00:55:35,001
看着
764
00:55:35,667 --> 00:55:36,959
瞎的
765
00:55:37,376 --> 00:55:38,292
小姐？
766
00:55:38,292 --> 00:55:39,292
在家！
767
00:55:40,167 --> 00:55:41,542
不是男人
768
00:55:42,417 --> 00:55:44,667
安妮开门
769
00:55:44,709 --> 00:55:46,167
又有什么事呀康先生
770
00:55:46,167 --> 00:55:47,584
你的处境好危险
771
00:55:47,584 --> 00:55:48,501
阿文他们四个
772
00:55:48,501 --> 00:55:50,501
被一个穿着清装的黑社会大哥控制
773
00:55:50,501 --> 00:55:52,042
想绑你的票啊
774
00:55:52,042 --> 00:55:53,292
很有创意呀
775
00:55:53,292 --> 00:55:54,876
不过这个故事复杂一点
776
00:55:55,542 --> 00:55:56,292
是真的
777
00:55:56,292 --> 00:55:58,626
他们还想蛀我的牙，不信你看看
778
00:55:59,751 --> 00:56:00,792
你当我白痴呀
779
00:56:01,876 --> 00:56:02,959
你不相信我
780
00:56:02,959 --> 00:56:05,167
都要信这条毛，带着会隐形
781
00:56:05,209 --> 00:56:06,542
会安全很多啊
782
00:56:06,542 --> 00:56:07,667
隐形？
783
00:56:10,126 --> 00:56:11,334
想英雄救美呀？
784
00:56:12,167 --> 00:56:13,334
开门啊
785
00:56:14,417 --> 00:56:17,042
你可以伤害我，不可以伤害我女朋友
786
00:56:21,876 --> 00:56:23,501
你们两个做完了戏没有？
787
00:56:26,126 --> 00:56:28,292
找个这样的茄喱啡来扮黑社会
788
00:56:28,292 --> 00:56:31,376
你看你，人不像人，鬼不像鬼
789
00:56:31,376 --> 00:56:33,959
大热天穿这种衣服你不怕热吗？
790
00:56:35,459 --> 00:56:38,959
这种指甲，我梳妆台上有十几对呀
791
00:56:38,959 --> 00:56:40,667
我谢谢你不要这样打扮了
792
00:56:48,167 --> 00:56:49,042
死啦
793
00:56:51,167 --> 00:56:51,876
我杀了人？
794
00:56:51,876 --> 00:56:52,876
鬼呀！
795
00:56:54,376 --> 00:56:55,292
鬼！
796
00:58:11,417 --> 00:58:12,501
你不用怕
797
00:58:14,167 --> 00:58:16,376
你先走啊…
798
00:58:18,376 --> 00:58:19,584
她和你无冤无仇
799
00:58:19,584 --> 00:58:21,792
你为什么要害她？
800
00:58:23,334 --> 00:58:24,959
这个女人害得我死于非命
801
00:58:24,959 --> 00:58:26,209
我冤魂不息
802
00:58:26,209 --> 00:58:27,876
我杀了她就可以超生
803
00:58:27,876 --> 00:58:30,126
我可以超生哪！ …
804
00:58:32,001 --> 00:58:32,959
熟了？
805
00:58:34,709 --> 00:58:35,792
救命…
806
00:58:43,542 --> 00:58:44,667
你眼睛瞎了？
807
00:59:22,917 --> 00:59:24,292
别动，举手
808
00:59:24,584 --> 00:59:26,167
中计了，走
809
00:59:37,959 --> 00:59:38,792
走快点
810
00:59:41,584 --> 00:59:42,917
不行，上天台
811
00:59:47,584 --> 00:59:49,501
对不起阿贵，我错怪了你
812
00:59:49,501 --> 00:59:50,584
都是我不好
813
00:59:50,584 --> 00:59:52,376
我不应该引恶鬼上门
814
00:59:54,084 --> 00:59:54,959
你快点儿先插条毛隐形
815
00:59:54,959 --> 00:59:55,584
我不走
816
00:59:55,584 --> 00:59:56,834
他会要你的命的
817
00:59:56,834 --> 00:59:57,917
要死一齐死
818
00:59:57,917 --> 00:59:58,709
我没有事的
819
00:59:58,709 --> 01:00:00,459
他跟你有仇，跟我没仇
820
01:00:00,459 --> 01:00:01,751
你快点儿走啦
821
01:00:03,459 --> 01:00:04,376
你先隐形啦
822
01:00:04,751 --> 01:00:05,834
你快去报警啦
823
01:00:15,126 --> 01:00:16,376
那个女人喺边度？
824
01:00:16,376 --> 01:00:17,709
那个女人喺印度
825
01:00:32,501 --> 01:00:34,292
安妮，你快点走啦
826
01:00:50,001 --> 01:00:52,376
我不想打你们四个
827
01:00:53,917 --> 01:00:55,042
今天天气这么好
828
01:00:55,042 --> 01:00:56,959
下了班到我家里看录影带
829
01:00:56,959 --> 01:00:59,084
警察，有事发生啊
830
01:01:01,459 --> 01:01:04,042
看带子嘛，怎么会有事发生吶？
831
01:01:04,501 --> 01:01:06,792
天台有事发生啊，有人要杀我男朋友
832
01:01:09,001 --> 01:01:10,876
不要…
833
01:01:11,459 --> 01:01:13,584
我是你们的老师啊
834
01:01:13,876 --> 01:01:15,626
他们还在上面
835
01:01:17,501 --> 01:01:21,042
救命…
836
01:01:22,042 --> 01:01:24,501
传呼小露宝，有人高空掷物呀
837
01:01:25,376 --> 01:01:26,501
阿贵
838
01:01:26,626 --> 01:01:27,667
带喜
839
01:01:28,542 --> 01:01:30,167
不要啊，你们不要啊
840
01:01:33,376 --> 01:01:34,542
去死呀
841
01:01:39,542 --> 01:01:43,917
你不要冲动，等我来处理…
842
01:01:48,126 --> 01:01:51,542
亚贵…
843
01:01:55,167 --> 01:02:03,751
他死了…
844
01:02:06,001 --> 01:02:07,209
师母…
845
01:02:07,209 --> 01:02:08,667
你们干什么杀死阿贵呀？
846
01:02:09,626 --> 01:02:11,459
我没杀人啊，干什么抓我呀？
847
01:02:12,584 --> 01:02:15,167
师母，不关我的事呀
848
01:02:18,042 --> 01:02:20,959
各位亲友向康森贵先生遗体告别
849
01:02:22,959 --> 01:02:24,126
再鞠躬
850
01:02:25,959 --> 01:02:27,376
三鞠躬
851
01:02:29,084 --> 01:02:31,709
请各位亲友火化死者的遗物
852
01:02:35,251 --> 01:02:40,126
亚贵…你不能就这么丢下我呀
853
01:03:00,292 --> 01:03:01,792
何事唤前世？
854
01:03:02,084 --> 01:03:04,167
后世也归西？
855
01:03:05,876 --> 01:03:08,376
烧了后世的肉身怎么得了
856
01:03:15,876 --> 01:03:17,334
洋人的庙？
857
01:03:17,959 --> 01:03:19,876
我们去拿回相片
858
01:03:27,417 --> 01:03:29,292
贵呀 鬼呀！
859
01:03:30,542 --> 01:03:32,001
阿贵，你复活了
860
01:03:33,417 --> 01:03:34,667
男女授授不亲
861
01:03:34,667 --> 01:03:35,709
吾既非圣人
862
01:03:35,709 --> 01:03:37,959
亦不能为女子所任意亲近者也
863
01:03:37,959 --> 01:03:39,251
小姐，请庄重，庄重
864
01:03:39,251 --> 01:03:42,042
你是不是还生我的气呀？
865
01:03:42,042 --> 01:03:44,751
我是开心鬼，又何来怨恨呢？
866
01:03:44,751 --> 01:03:46,709
你真好啊，你真的不生我的气啦
867
01:03:49,334 --> 01:03:51,084
当众拉拉扯扯，成何体统
868
01:03:51,084 --> 01:03:51,876
不行
869
01:03:51,876 --> 01:03:53,959
要教她三从四德，庄重庄重才行
870
01:03:56,084 --> 01:03:58,626
这件是严重的罪案
871
01:03:58,626 --> 01:04:01,542
香港青少年犯罪问题
872
01:04:01,542 --> 01:04:03,084
日益严重
873
01:04:03,084 --> 01:04:05,501
根据一切呈堂证供
874
01:04:05,501 --> 01:04:09,667
全体陪审团一致裁定四名被告
875
01:04:10,167 --> 01:04:13,167
谋杀康森贵的罪名…
876
01:04:18,542 --> 01:04:19,792
成立
877
01:04:20,001 --> 01:04:23,917
依例判处四名被告环首死刑
878
01:04:23,917 --> 01:04:25,834
冤枉呀…
879
01:04:26,292 --> 01:04:31,292
冤枉呀…
880
01:04:31,292 --> 01:04:33,667
大老爷，冤枉呀啊
881
01:04:34,584 --> 01:04:35,667
什么事？
882
01:04:36,667 --> 01:04:37,959
启禀大人
883
01:04:37,959 --> 01:04:39,709
请大人刀下留人
884
01:04:39,709 --> 01:04:40,917
你究竟是什么人？
885
01:04:40,917 --> 01:04:43,376
喳，小人姓朱名锦春
886
01:04:43,376 --> 01:04:45,834
不对，小人姓康名森贵
887
01:04:45,834 --> 01:04:50,042
是广东省宝安县人，乃案中之死者
888
01:04:50,126 --> 01:04:52,959
神经，你死了还活生生站那干什么？
889
01:04:52,959 --> 01:04:55,084
当真，果然
890
01:04:55,084 --> 01:04:56,584
小人根本就没死
891
01:04:56,584 --> 01:04:59,376
试问焉能可以判四位公子谋杀之罪呢
892
01:04:59,376 --> 01:05:00,667
对呀…
893
01:05:01,959 --> 01:05:03,792
四眼佬？
894
01:05:05,126 --> 01:05:06,917
我亲眼见他被四个家伙到街上
895
01:05:07,542 --> 01:05:09,542
此乃一场误会也
896
01:05:09,959 --> 01:05:12,209
小人并非被人扔到街上也
897
01:05:12,209 --> 01:05:14,126
乃小人自己跳楼也
898
01:05:14,126 --> 01:05:16,459
你说什么？你说什么呀？
899
01:05:16,459 --> 01:05:20,251
实在跳楼，乃小人多年之嗜好也
900
01:05:20,459 --> 01:05:22,292
神经！ 庭警
901
01:05:22,292 --> 01:05:23,917
把这个神经汉赶出法庭
902
01:05:23,917 --> 01:05:25,209
且慢…
903
01:05:25,376 --> 01:05:28,042
大人如若不信，就让小人马上示范
904
01:05:28,042 --> 01:05:31,501
快点赶他出去，赶他出去！
905
01:05:31,667 --> 01:05:33,501
小人跳楼也
906
01:05:35,251 --> 01:05:37,084
康老师…
907
01:05:37,167 --> 01:05:40,209
他死了，他跳楼死了
908
01:05:43,292 --> 01:05:44,876
各位有礼
909
01:05:45,209 --> 01:05:46,167
启禀大人
910
01:05:46,167 --> 01:05:49,126
小人清心直说，并无虚言
911
01:05:49,126 --> 01:05:50,792
请大人明鉴
912
01:05:52,417 --> 01:05:54,376
既然根本没有死者
913
01:05:54,376 --> 01:05:55,792
本席宣判
914
01:05:55,792 --> 01:05:57,917
四被告无罪释放
915
01:05:57,917 --> 01:06:01,001
好哇…
916
01:06:01,167 --> 01:06:03,501
没事啦…
917
01:06:03,501 --> 01:06:05,501
退堂
918
01:06:07,042 --> 01:06:09,001
谢大人，小人告退
919
01:06:09,292 --> 01:06:11,126
又跳？不会吧
920
01:06:11,292 --> 01:06:12,584
拜拜！
921
01:06:17,584 --> 01:06:18,709
没有理由
922
01:06:19,334 --> 01:06:20,751
没有理由没死啊
923
01:06:21,292 --> 01:06:24,001
奇案，十大奇案又多一件
924
01:06:27,792 --> 01:06:30,709
怎么后世研究这么玄妙的事
925
01:06:31,209 --> 01:06:32,251
神奇
926
01:06:33,001 --> 01:06:36,417
明人不做暗事，何必鬼鬼祟祟呢
927
01:06:36,417 --> 01:06:37,459
请进来
928
01:06:37,917 --> 01:06:39,459
康SIR你真是大量
929
01:06:39,459 --> 01:06:41,459
我们那样对你，你还肯帮我们
930
01:06:41,959 --> 01:06:44,126
如果不是我贪心带副邪东西回来
931
01:06:44,126 --> 01:06:46,001
就不会搞出这么多事了，对不起
932
01:06:46,542 --> 01:06:47,751
四位公子
933
01:06:47,751 --> 01:06:49,334
你们并没有对不起我
934
01:06:49,334 --> 01:06:52,126
你们只不过是对你们的康老师不起
935
01:06:53,001 --> 01:06:53,917
不懂
936
01:06:53,917 --> 01:06:55,417
我并不是你们的康SIR
937
01:06:55,417 --> 01:06:57,626
而你的康SIR也并非我
938
01:06:58,542 --> 01:06:59,709
这样更不明白
939
01:07:00,251 --> 01:07:02,667
你们的康老师已经归西了
940
01:07:02,667 --> 01:07:05,751
我只不过是他的前世朱秀才
941
01:07:06,251 --> 01:07:07,376
本来我还有点儿明白
942
01:07:07,376 --> 01:07:08,917
现在就更不明白了
943
01:07:09,584 --> 01:07:11,126
这样你就明白了
944
01:07:13,584 --> 01:07:14,459
明白了没有？
945
01:07:14,459 --> 01:07:15,667
鬼呀…
946
01:07:15,792 --> 01:07:17,251
别走啦
947
01:07:34,126 --> 01:07:35,084
压我
948
01:07:39,292 --> 01:07:40,251
死啊你
949
01:07:42,209 --> 01:07:43,376
还不死？
950
01:07:47,834 --> 01:07:49,334
心脏脉搏都停了
951
01:07:49,751 --> 01:07:50,876
呼吸也没有了
952
01:07:51,959 --> 01:07:52,917
确认
953
01:07:56,001 --> 01:07:57,292
你们要战胜心魔
954
01:07:57,292 --> 01:07:59,084
就可以战胜那个恶鬼
955
01:07:59,542 --> 01:08:01,042
不过既然你们肯认错
956
01:08:01,042 --> 01:08:03,001
也证明你们尚有良知
957
01:08:03,001 --> 01:08:05,042
有没有办法救回康SIR
958
01:08:05,042 --> 01:08:06,459
他魂魄离开了肉体
959
01:08:06,459 --> 01:08:09,042
要三七回魂之夜才能有得救
960
01:08:09,709 --> 01:08:10,667
尸变？
961
01:08:11,709 --> 01:08:13,751
这么多乌蝇围住
962
01:08:16,209 --> 01:08:17,959
肉身好容易被虫蛀啊
963
01:08:19,501 --> 01:08:21,709
怎么样才可以保持康SIR的肉身吶？
964
01:08:33,917 --> 01:08:37,876
等等…
965
01:08:42,251 --> 01:08:43,126
好汉
966
01:08:43,459 --> 01:08:45,292
我们可曾相识
967
01:08:46,751 --> 01:08:48,501
请多多指教
968
01:08:50,042 --> 01:08:52,751
好失败呀…
969
01:08:52,751 --> 01:08:56,584
失败乃成功之母，你继续努力吧
970
01:08:58,667 --> 01:08:59,459
到了…
971
01:08:59,459 --> 01:09:03,084
他糗我啊，我好没有面子
972
01:09:05,334 --> 01:09:07,667
坐下
973
01:09:09,584 --> 01:09:10,792
不是男人
974
01:09:11,542 --> 01:09:13,209
阿贵，你来啦？
975
01:09:13,501 --> 01:09:15,959
废话，看到我当然是来啦
976
01:09:15,959 --> 01:09:17,667
难道走了吗？
977
01:09:17,876 --> 01:09:19,542
自从你救了我之后
978
01:09:19,876 --> 01:09:21,751
我决定跟你在一起
979
01:09:21,751 --> 01:09:23,709
因为跟你一起才觉得有安全感
980
01:09:24,376 --> 01:09:26,709
从明天开始你绝不安全
981
01:09:26,709 --> 01:09:28,459
因为朕要离开你
982
01:09:28,459 --> 01:09:29,876
你要跟我分手啊？
983
01:09:29,876 --> 01:09:30,876
正是！
984
01:09:31,084 --> 01:09:33,751
我今晚上来，是要和你吃最后的晚餐
985
01:09:33,751 --> 01:09:34,876
我知道我以前对你不好
986
01:09:34,876 --> 01:09:36,126
又时常气你
987
01:09:36,626 --> 01:09:37,959
又拧你的鼻子
988
01:09:38,334 --> 01:09:39,667
最多你再拧我啦
989
01:09:40,251 --> 01:09:42,292
卿卿我我受不了…
990
01:09:42,459 --> 01:09:44,542
赶快去煮饭，服侍你的夫君
991
01:09:45,209 --> 01:09:46,251
MARIAN
992
01:09:46,751 --> 01:09:48,292
不得呼奴喝婢
993
01:09:48,584 --> 01:09:51,334
不懂炊事，怎当贤妻，下退
994
01:09:53,542 --> 01:09:56,584
受不了，真是受不了
995
01:09:56,584 --> 01:09:59,167
后世呀后世，我这样对你的娇妻
996
01:09:59,167 --> 01:10:01,584
都是为了你下半世着想啊
997
01:10:07,376 --> 01:10:12,209
乖点儿，鸡鸡，别走…
998
01:10:23,209 --> 01:10:24,709
真正男人
999
01:10:46,626 --> 01:10:50,209
咖啡，茶，还是我？
1000
01:10:52,292 --> 01:10:55,042
异族女子，打出吱吱
1001
01:10:55,042 --> 01:10:56,542
不欲观之矣
1002
01:10:57,334 --> 01:10:59,459
你试试我的蚝油牛肉好不好吃
1003
01:11:01,417 --> 01:11:02,292
好吃
1004
01:11:02,292 --> 01:11:03,167
我煮得好吃啦？
1005
01:11:03,167 --> 01:11:05,626
不是，是蚝油吃
1006
01:11:05,626 --> 01:11:07,376
这种蚝油是我那个年代出品
1007
01:11:07,792 --> 01:11:09,417
我那个年代的女人
1008
01:11:09,417 --> 01:11:11,167
就没有你那么刁蛮任性
1009
01:11:11,834 --> 01:11:13,584
我现在不是很温柔？
1010
01:11:15,334 --> 01:11:16,834
死鸡撑饭盖
1011
01:11:16,834 --> 01:11:18,084
这顿饭我还是不吃了
1012
01:11:18,792 --> 01:11:19,834
你好了没有？
1013
01:11:20,084 --> 01:11:22,584
本小姐第一次煮饭，你敢不吃
1014
01:11:22,584 --> 01:11:24,126
男人大丈夫
1015
01:11:24,126 --> 01:11:25,667
说不吃就不吃
1016
01:11:25,876 --> 01:11:29,084
坐下
1017
01:11:29,876 --> 01:11:30,917
我来吩咐你
1018
01:11:30,917 --> 01:11:32,751
你夫君有远行
1019
01:11:32,751 --> 01:11:33,834
现在那个恶鬼
1020
01:11:33,834 --> 01:11:36,042
下落未明，尚未消灭
1021
01:11:36,334 --> 01:11:38,042
所以给你条毛防身
1022
01:11:38,042 --> 01:11:41,167
有什么事插在头上隐形知不知道？
1023
01:11:41,792 --> 01:11:42,584
知道
1024
01:11:42,792 --> 01:11:45,376
还要三步不出「龟」门，明不明白？
1025
01:11:45,459 --> 01:11:46,376
明白
1026
01:11:46,542 --> 01:11:49,126
这样你就是最乖了
1027
01:11:49,126 --> 01:11:50,417
这才是贤妻啦
1028
01:11:50,417 --> 01:11:51,709
夫君告退
1029
01:11:52,251 --> 01:11:53,626
超人…
1030
01:12:00,459 --> 01:12:02,459
超人呀！
1031
01:12:06,417 --> 01:12:09,126
后世放你在这里就不怕被虫蛀
1032
01:12:09,126 --> 01:12:11,709
我向玉帝请假押后成佛
1033
01:12:20,167 --> 01:12:22,709
杀呀！
1034
01:12:25,709 --> 01:12:26,917
摆空城计
1035
01:12:31,084 --> 01:12:32,126
玩埋伏
1036
01:12:41,917 --> 01:12:42,876
高手？
1037
01:12:43,876 --> 01:12:45,501
高手都当你臭四
1038
01:12:53,126 --> 01:12:54,126
在哪里？
1039
01:12:56,459 --> 01:12:57,626
你嘲笑我？
1040
01:13:04,876 --> 01:13:06,667
你不死我死呀
1041
01:13:13,626 --> 01:13:14,792
打到我爆缸？
1042
01:13:18,501 --> 01:13:20,542
摙死你呀
1043
01:13:22,292 --> 01:13:24,292
我焗死你
1044
01:13:30,751 --> 01:13:31,792
不确认
1045
01:13:37,626 --> 01:13:39,251
毒死你
1046
01:13:43,042 --> 01:13:44,251
放毒气？
1047
01:13:48,792 --> 01:13:49,959
电死你
1048
01:13:57,584 --> 01:13:59,251
这样都不死，没天理
1049
01:14:05,792 --> 01:14:07,001
尸变？
1050
01:14:14,084 --> 01:14:15,334
又是他
1051
01:14:23,959 --> 01:14:26,792
他玩完了，他死啦
1052
01:14:29,209 --> 01:14:30,667
这个钱包是不是你的？
1053
01:14:31,292 --> 01:14:32,542
是
1054
01:14:35,459 --> 01:14:37,084
谢谢你…
1055
01:14:37,084 --> 01:14:38,209
再见
1056
01:14:42,209 --> 01:14:45,876
难以置信…
1057
01:15:00,542 --> 01:15:02,334
HOLIDAY想着去芭堤雅
1058
01:15:02,709 --> 01:15:04,417
怎么知道来了非洲沙漠
1059
01:15:05,167 --> 01:15:06,667
为了后世的肉身
1060
01:15:07,084 --> 01:15:08,834
还要帮他找洞「钻」
1061
01:15:36,876 --> 01:15:38,209
做什么拉我上来？
1062
01:15:38,209 --> 01:15:40,792
这里就是命案现场嘛
1063
01:15:41,084 --> 01:15:43,792
我们坐下慢慢研究案情啦
1064
01:15:47,834 --> 01:15:50,584
警花，我喜欢你不是因为你漂亮
1065
01:15:50,584 --> 01:15:52,417
而是因为你有内在美
1066
01:15:52,417 --> 01:15:54,084
我老了你都那么喜欢我？
1067
01:15:54,084 --> 01:15:55,959
你越老我越喜欢
1068
01:16:24,209 --> 01:16:26,876
原来你老了那么丑啊？
1069
01:16:26,917 --> 01:16:28,709
你也够丑了
1070
01:16:28,834 --> 01:16:31,167
老野，不要碰我
1071
01:16:31,167 --> 01:16:32,459
贱男人
1072
01:17:06,126 --> 01:17:08,167
超人呀…
1073
01:17:08,167 --> 01:17:11,334
我爱你超人…
1074
01:17:19,917 --> 01:17:20,876
丧标
1075
01:17:22,084 --> 01:17:23,751
丧标，为什么你不进去接我？
1076
01:17:23,751 --> 01:17:25,334
公子，你还没死啊？
1077
01:17:25,667 --> 01:17:27,292
你杀了康森贵没有？
1078
01:17:27,334 --> 01:17:28,459
你吃饭了没有？
1079
01:17:28,876 --> 01:17:30,167
我问你杀了他没有？
1080
01:17:30,167 --> 01:17:31,584
我问你吃了屎没有？
1081
01:17:31,584 --> 01:17:32,584
你讲野呀？
1082
01:17:32,584 --> 01:17:33,667
我放屁呀
1083
01:17:34,459 --> 01:17:36,167
丧标，你脑子坏了
1084
01:17:36,501 --> 01:17:38,626
说我坏脑？我吃脑
1085
01:17:38,626 --> 01:17:40,334
我喜欢吃猪脑
1086
01:17:40,334 --> 01:17:42,459
老吾老，以及人之老
1087
01:17:42,459 --> 01:17:43,792
我喜欢做电脑
1088
01:17:43,792 --> 01:17:45,376
我要长生不老
1089
01:17:45,376 --> 01:17:46,584
被你俘虏
1090
01:17:46,584 --> 01:17:47,959
我要同你白头到老
1091
01:17:47,959 --> 01:17:50,417
神经佬跟我们返青山
1092
01:17:50,417 --> 01:17:51,584
什么…神经犯法？
1093
01:17:51,584 --> 01:17:52,709
神经有罪？
1094
01:17:52,709 --> 01:17:55,167
不许人神经？你们才是神经啦
1095
01:17:57,084 --> 01:17:59,834
公子，我们真是有缘了
1096
01:18:00,667 --> 01:18:02,209
原来你真的没死啊？
1097
01:18:02,209 --> 01:18:04,209
怎么你个八月十四返回原位了吗？
1098
01:18:04,209 --> 01:18:06,292
谁让我老爸子有钱
1099
01:18:06,292 --> 01:18:08,209
你将我五脏移位
1100
01:18:08,209 --> 01:18:10,501
屁股反转，顶上心口
1101
01:18:10,501 --> 01:18:12,376
我都有钱整得好
1102
01:18:12,376 --> 01:18:14,834
是吗？的士
1103
01:18:16,501 --> 01:18:19,167
一千元给你，不要载他，开车
1104
01:18:44,501 --> 01:18:46,084
怎么不见了个屁股？
1105
01:18:46,792 --> 01:18:48,542
我生「股胀」啦
1106
01:18:49,292 --> 01:18:51,959
好痒呀…
1107
01:18:52,542 --> 01:18:54,709
我的屁股顶到上心啦
1108
01:19:01,417 --> 01:19:03,042
我这次死定了！
1109
01:19:08,334 --> 01:19:10,251
OH SHIT
1110
01:19:30,792 --> 01:19:31,542
师母
1111
01:19:31,542 --> 01:19:32,626
你没有事吗？
1112
01:19:32,626 --> 01:19:33,876
我当然没有事啦
1113
01:19:33,959 --> 01:19:35,542
今天康老师三七回魂
1114
01:19:35,542 --> 01:19:37,334
只要他肉身安全回来就没事啦
1115
01:20:39,209 --> 01:20:41,334
开水喉，开水喉
1116
01:20:46,876 --> 01:20:49,959
快点啦，快点冲掉那些泥啦
1117
01:21:01,126 --> 01:21:02,334
快点走…
1118
01:21:02,459 --> 01:21:05,167
走啊，走啊，快点儿…
1119
01:21:05,292 --> 01:21:06,459
快点走
1120
01:21:11,876 --> 01:21:13,292
哗，谁这么缺德
1121
01:21:21,459 --> 01:21:22,334
等等
1122
01:21:28,667 --> 01:21:29,751
在外面
1123
01:21:33,626 --> 01:21:35,542
快点顶住
1124
01:21:38,751 --> 01:21:40,126
放我出来
1125
01:22:11,334 --> 01:22:12,626
你快点儿放开他们
1126
01:22:25,876 --> 01:22:27,417
何人叫我？
1127
01:22:29,126 --> 01:22:30,292
妖孽停手
1128
01:22:30,292 --> 01:22:31,584
先把我干掉
1129
01:23:27,959 --> 01:23:30,167
咬死他们…
1130
01:23:33,959 --> 01:23:35,417
没有命啦
1131
01:24:00,751 --> 01:24:02,959
让你试试我的至宝三鞭
1132
01:24:10,584 --> 01:24:11,876
好臭啊
1133
01:24:13,667 --> 01:24:14,751
第一鞭
1134
01:24:18,792 --> 01:24:19,792
第二鞭
1135
01:24:24,459 --> 01:24:25,251
坐下
1136
01:24:27,792 --> 01:24:29,251
你的口水好臭啊
1137
01:24:50,209 --> 01:24:51,209
打死他
1138
01:24:51,959 --> 01:24:53,209
我们自已人有什么好打的
1139
01:24:53,209 --> 01:24:54,292
当然打他吗
1140
01:25:05,917 --> 01:25:07,376
我来啦
1141
01:25:38,209 --> 01:25:39,667
我的妈呀
1142
01:25:48,042 --> 01:25:49,459
苦口苦面
1143
01:25:55,126 --> 01:25:56,292
最紧要开心
1144
01:26:01,542 --> 01:26:02,792
康SIR回魂了
1145
01:26:03,126 --> 01:26:06,792
康SIR你怎么样？
1146
01:26:07,626 --> 01:26:08,876
前世怎么是你呀？
1147
01:26:10,084 --> 01:26:12,417
后世，我已经帮你解决了一切
1148
01:26:12,709 --> 01:26:15,667
现在时辰已到，要上西天成佛
1149
01:26:15,834 --> 01:26:17,667
各位公子后会有期
1150
01:26:17,667 --> 01:26:22,709
朱秀才…
1151
01:26:25,001 --> 01:26:26,001
师母醒了…
1152
01:26:28,792 --> 01:26:30,751
阿贵，你没事就好了
1153
01:26:30,876 --> 01:26:32,209
我做错什么事啦？
1154
01:26:32,626 --> 01:26:34,417
你没错，是我错
1155
01:26:34,876 --> 01:26:35,667
等等
1156
01:26:37,001 --> 01:26:37,876
你做什么？
1157
01:26:37,876 --> 01:26:39,376
你对我太好，我不习惯的
1158
01:26:41,167 --> 01:26:42,042
阿贵
1159
01:26:49,584 --> 01:26:53,251
好难顶
67965
