Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,924
[rock riff plays]
2
00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:10,969
Gwen, your bell-bottoms.
3
00:00:12,053 --> 00:00:14,681
You look so good in those.
I forgot I was gay for a second.
4
00:00:16,891 --> 00:00:20,186
I found 'em in my attic.
There's all kinds of cool crap up there.
5
00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:21,104
Also...
6
00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:23,398
And this is going to blow your mind.
7
00:00:23,898 --> 00:00:24,899
We have an attic.
8
00:00:25,650 --> 00:00:27,610
That explains a lot.
9
00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:31,740
One time I put my hand through the ceiling
when I was dance-punching to Billy Idol.
10
00:00:32,490 --> 00:00:34,701
I came down with Pop Rocks and a thong.
11
00:00:36,286 --> 00:00:38,455
I thought that's what houses were made of.
12
00:00:38,955 --> 00:00:40,290
How are you this okay?
13
00:00:40,373 --> 00:00:44,085
Yesterday, I watched you humiliated
yourself in front of the woman you love.
14
00:00:44,169 --> 00:00:46,046
I heard it was next-level embarrassing.
15
00:00:46,129 --> 00:00:49,215
Like, worse than when I double-puked
at my holiday concert.
16
00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:52,052
I had to buy the school a new mop.
17
00:00:54,304 --> 00:00:57,265
I don't know. I feel pretty good about it.
18
00:00:57,348 --> 00:01:00,810
Now Nik knows how I feel,
and her boyfriend was pissed,
19
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:02,771
which means I looked cool as hell.
20
00:01:02,854 --> 00:01:04,856
You know who else is cool as hell?
21
00:01:05,607 --> 00:01:07,108
[both] John Rambo.
22
00:01:09,527 --> 00:01:13,031
There you are, you dumbass.
What the hell is wrong with you?
23
00:01:13,114 --> 00:01:14,491
You love me? [scoffs]
24
00:01:14,574 --> 00:01:15,825
You're so full of it,
25
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:18,870
you just can't stand to see me
with someone else.
26
00:01:18,953 --> 00:01:21,539
Nik, this is real. Look at my face.
27
00:01:25,043 --> 00:01:27,587
That's the same face you make
when you pee in the woods.
28
00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:31,216
And you know I love that too.
You're proving my point.
29
00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:35,512
I have no reason
to believe anything you're saying.
30
00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:38,640
You almost kissed Leia,
you dumped me in front of my friends,
31
00:01:38,723 --> 00:01:41,601
and you tell me you love me
just so you can break up with Betsy.
32
00:01:41,684 --> 00:01:44,479
This summer's been so crazy,
I forgot he kissed Leia.
33
00:01:44,562 --> 00:01:46,898
Almost. Almost.
34
00:01:47,524 --> 00:01:50,485
You know what? I can't even be
in the same room as you right now.
35
00:01:55,990 --> 00:01:57,408
The memory on that one.
36
00:01:58,910 --> 00:02:00,120
Sexy, right?
37
00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:02,789
[theme music playing]
38
00:02:02,872 --> 00:02:04,707
{\an8}♪ Hanging out down the street ♪
39
00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:06,793
{\an8}♪ The same old thing we did last week ♪
40
00:02:06,876 --> 00:02:09,045
{\an8}♪ Not a thing to do ♪
41
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:11,172
{\an8}♪ But talk to you ♪
42
00:02:11,256 --> 00:02:13,675
{\an8}♪ We're all all right
We're all all right ♪
43
00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:16,261
{\an8}Hello, Wisconsin!
44
00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:20,431
Oh, for Pete's sake!
45
00:02:21,599 --> 00:02:26,479
{\an8}Kitty! I just found another one
of your speeding tickets
46
00:02:26,563 --> 00:02:27,897
{\an8}hidden in the crisper.
47
00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:29,607
{\an8}Well, I can explain.
48
00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:33,903
{\an8}I got another speeding ticket
and hid it in the crisper.
49
00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:37,532
{\an8}This is your third ticket this year.
50
00:02:37,615 --> 00:02:40,493
{\an8}They're gonna jack up our insurance rates.
51
00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:45,957
{\an8}And now, I have to go and call our agent
and use my nice guy voice!
52
00:02:46,958 --> 00:02:49,085
{\an8}[fake laughing] "Hi, Marsha."
53
00:02:49,794 --> 00:02:52,380
{\an8}"How's the hubby?" Kill me!
54
00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:55,550
{\an8}Third ticket, huh?
55
00:02:55,633 --> 00:02:57,927
{\an8}-That's when they take your license.
-What?
56
00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:00,513
{\an8}No, I can't lose my license.
57
00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:03,099
{\an8}School is starting soon.
How will I get to work?
58
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:05,018
{\an8}[gasps] And bingo!
59
00:03:06,102 --> 00:03:09,981
{\an8}It is the only place left
where a gal can scream.
60
00:03:11,399 --> 00:03:13,484
{\an8}Maybe you'll get off easy.
How fast were you going?
61
00:03:13,568 --> 00:03:17,447
{\an8}"Celebrate" by Kool & The Gang came on,
and I followed directions.
62
00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:19,282
{\an8}[laughing]
63
00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:22,911
{\an8}That is what I get for taking Leia
to the bead store.
64
00:03:22,994 --> 00:03:25,538
{\an8}She thinks I love
these homemade bracelets.
65
00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:26,956
{\an8}I must have thousands.
66
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,876
{\an8}They look like
little dead teeth on a string.
67
00:03:31,127 --> 00:03:32,712
{\an8}Hang on, Leia was in the car?
68
00:03:32,795 --> 00:03:36,049
{\an8}Have her tell the judge whatever crap
you need to get out of the ticket.
69
00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:37,592
{\an8}You mean ask her to lie?
70
00:03:37,675 --> 00:03:38,927
{\an8}Oh...
71
00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:41,638
{\an8}She is so sweet. I could never.
72
00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:43,139
{\an8}Ah, my kids do it all the time.
73
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:46,226
{\an8}They got me out of a public intoxication,
a public urination,
74
00:03:46,309 --> 00:03:47,769
{\an8}a public frenching a cop.
75
00:03:49,562 --> 00:03:51,189
{\an8}I love St. Patty's Day.
76
00:03:52,023 --> 00:03:53,691
[rock riff plays]
77
00:03:54,359 --> 00:03:58,071
{\an8}Can you believe Bob left
all this stuff up here before he moved?
78
00:03:58,154 --> 00:04:00,198
{\an8}It's a fricking '70s time capsule.
79
00:04:00,281 --> 00:04:07,121
{\an8}Clothes, records,
and a bottle of "Quay-lloyds"?
80
00:04:08,748 --> 00:04:11,584
{\an8}I'd be weirded out
that Bob and I have the same body type
81
00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:13,878
{\an8}if this didn't look so damn good on me.
82
00:04:15,171 --> 00:04:17,674
{\an8}Do you really think
I still have a shot with Nikki?
83
00:04:17,757 --> 00:04:21,219
{\an8}Ah, totally. She wouldn't have gotten
so worked up if she didn't care.
84
00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:24,055
{\an8}She didn't say that she didn't love you.
85
00:04:24,138 --> 00:04:27,058
{\an8}She said she didn't believe
that you loved her.
86
00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:30,353
{\an8}-You gotta make her believe.
-I can do that.
87
00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:33,731
{\an8}I mean, I once convinced a horse
that I was also a horse.
88
00:04:34,482 --> 00:04:35,733
Found the shoes.
89
00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:38,945
[lock rattling]
90
00:04:39,028 --> 00:04:40,154
Damn, it's locked.
91
00:04:41,197 --> 00:04:43,866
You don't lock up shoes
unless they're fricking fantastic.
92
00:04:45,034 --> 00:04:46,828
What if I did something epic?
93
00:04:46,911 --> 00:04:49,664
Like... like holding a boom box over my head
94
00:04:49,747 --> 00:04:51,958
or filling up a bathtub full of shrimp?
95
00:04:52,041 --> 00:04:54,544
Yes. Do that. That's a good one.
96
00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:59,757
Don't do that,
but a grand gesture is the way to go.
97
00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:02,427
Bro, she has a boyfriend.
She's not gonna like that.
98
00:05:02,510 --> 00:05:06,097
-Then why is it in every romantic comedy?
-Because men write those movies.
99
00:05:06,180 --> 00:05:08,433
And who knows women better than men?
100
00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:12,437
[lock rattling loudly]
101
00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:17,650
I'm cool. I'm cool.
102
00:05:19,485 --> 00:05:20,945
[lock rattling]
103
00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:23,197
[rock music playing]
104
00:05:26,492 --> 00:05:29,954
Banana bread, peach pie,
chocolate chip waffles,
105
00:05:30,038 --> 00:05:31,581
mac and cheese, cheese and mac,
106
00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:34,459
two very different things,
both delicious, dig in.
107
00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:38,963
What's going on, Grandma?
Are you practicing for Thanksgiving?
108
00:05:39,047 --> 00:05:43,676
I only do that at night
when everyone's asleep. This is for you.
109
00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:45,553
Unrelated.
110
00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:47,513
Remember last week
111
00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:50,683
when Grammy was speeding
and got that pesky ticket?
112
00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:54,604
When you were racing home to catch the end
of America's Funniest Home Videos?
113
00:05:55,104 --> 00:05:59,275
Oh, I had to see if "Kitten Sneezes
on Birthday Cake" makes it another week.
114
00:06:01,110 --> 00:06:05,365
I was hoping you could come
to court with me and fudge a few details
115
00:06:05,448 --> 00:06:07,492
so I could stay out of trouble.
116
00:06:07,575 --> 00:06:08,659
You want me to lie?
117
00:06:09,535 --> 00:06:11,454
Not lie. Fudge.
118
00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:14,582
Which I also made.
119
00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:19,420
Because I do things for you
without asking so many questions.
120
00:06:20,004 --> 00:06:22,256
Doesn't this go against everything
you ever taught me?
121
00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:23,341
Oh.
122
00:06:23,424 --> 00:06:24,926
Now you're a good girl.
123
00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:29,680
I hear you in your room
having those tickle fights with Jay.
124
00:06:32,183 --> 00:06:35,103
Come on, Grandma.
Lying in court is a big deal.
125
00:06:35,186 --> 00:06:36,020
I can't do it.
126
00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:41,150
Oh please, this is traffic court,
not the O.J. trial.
127
00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:43,778
[rock riff plays]
128
00:06:45,446 --> 00:06:47,782
Now, this is a grand gesture.
129
00:06:48,991 --> 00:06:53,371
It kind of makes sense like this
'cause I am way bigger than she is.
130
00:06:56,290 --> 00:07:00,044
What the hell, man? Nikki's my girlfriend.
Why would you paint that on here?
131
00:07:00,128 --> 00:07:01,379
It's called freedom of speech.
132
00:07:01,462 --> 00:07:04,549
If you don't like it, you can take it up
with the Pledge of Allegiance.
133
00:07:04,632 --> 00:07:05,967
My boy knows his shit.
134
00:07:07,718 --> 00:07:10,221
Take it down, or we're gonna fight.
135
00:07:10,304 --> 00:07:13,015
Careful. Those are fightin' words.
136
00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:15,101
Exactly.
137
00:07:16,185 --> 00:07:18,229
Fine. Let's do this right now.
138
00:07:18,729 --> 00:07:20,731
Oh, it's on!
139
00:07:21,899 --> 00:07:24,694
I was on my way to rehearsal,
so I can't fight you right now.
140
00:07:25,194 --> 00:07:27,113
-How about four o'clock?
-No can do.
141
00:07:27,196 --> 00:07:29,282
I'm going back-to-school shopping
with my mom.
142
00:07:29,365 --> 00:07:30,491
Yeah, he is.
143
00:07:31,242 --> 00:07:34,036
The shoes I pick out today,
they'll be with me the rest of the year,
144
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,621
so I can't blow that off.
145
00:07:36,164 --> 00:07:37,290
Let's push it to five.
146
00:07:37,373 --> 00:07:40,877
Depends how fast we go through
the third act. Not everyone's off-book.
147
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:43,337
Even though they've had the script
for a month.
148
00:07:43,838 --> 00:07:45,006
What about 7:30?
149
00:07:45,089 --> 00:07:46,591
-Done.
-Done.
150
00:07:46,674 --> 00:07:48,134
-Done.
-Done!
151
00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:53,931
-I got the last "done."
-That worked out perfect.
152
00:07:54,015 --> 00:07:55,725
Dude, you're gonna kick his ass.
153
00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:57,935
And I'm gonna make sure
Nikki sees this sign.
154
00:07:58,019 --> 00:08:01,772
Okay, all you have to do
is wait for her to run into your arms.
155
00:08:02,940 --> 00:08:04,734
No one handles stuff like you.
156
00:08:04,817 --> 00:08:07,445
Mess with the best, and die like the rest.
157
00:08:07,945 --> 00:08:09,947
-Oh...
-[branches snapping]
158
00:08:12,116 --> 00:08:13,284
You okay, dude?
159
00:08:14,118 --> 00:08:15,119
[Jay] Uncle Ron?
160
00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:18,998
Take a minute.
161
00:08:19,081 --> 00:08:21,375
[rock music playing]
162
00:08:24,712 --> 00:08:28,633
Man... I forgot all this stuff was up here.
163
00:08:28,716 --> 00:08:33,346
Back when we were packing up the house,
I couldn't fit up the attic hole.
164
00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:36,516
-You let yourself go?
-Other way.
165
00:08:36,599 --> 00:08:39,143
I was a gym rat. I'd started juicing.
166
00:08:39,977 --> 00:08:43,606
Steroids, HGH, horse testosterone.
167
00:08:44,315 --> 00:08:50,112
They turned the grapes into raisins,
but my shoulders were like cannonballs.
168
00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:52,365
Fascinating.
169
00:08:52,448 --> 00:08:54,951
Do you remember
the combination to the trunk or not?
170
00:08:55,034 --> 00:09:01,040
-Sure.
-32, 27, 36.
171
00:09:01,624 --> 00:09:03,167
Midge's measurements.
172
00:09:04,961 --> 00:09:08,589
Oh, wait. That's before
we bought her new rack.
173
00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:15,429
Aw...
174
00:09:16,055 --> 00:09:17,765
It's full of family memories.
175
00:09:18,849 --> 00:09:20,268
Where are the shoes, old man?
176
00:09:20,851 --> 00:09:24,647
Aw, Donna's dress she wore
when we took her to Disneyland.
177
00:09:24,730 --> 00:09:29,569
Actually, it was just a little horse ride
outside the grocery store.
178
00:09:29,652 --> 00:09:32,697
But, you know, kids... they're stupid.
179
00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:37,618
Midge's before and after pictures!
180
00:09:37,702 --> 00:09:39,829
What an angel.
181
00:09:40,454 --> 00:09:43,541
Look at those torpedoes. [chuckles]
182
00:09:43,624 --> 00:09:45,001
[rock riff plays]
183
00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:49,922
[TV host] And the winner of the $10,000 is
"Kitten Sneezes on Birthday Cake."
184
00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:55,428
Yes, because it is the funniest,
the funniest home video!
185
00:09:55,511 --> 00:09:57,805
[laughing happily]
186
00:09:57,888 --> 00:10:03,811
It wasn't funnier
than "Granny Loses Top on Slip 'N Slide."
187
00:10:04,562 --> 00:10:08,441
Now, that was a series of bad decisions.
188
00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:11,402
The three of us need to talk.
189
00:10:12,194 --> 00:10:15,239
Grandpa, Grandma has been pressuring me
to lie in court.
190
00:10:15,323 --> 00:10:17,033
No, I wouldn't call it pressuring.
191
00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:18,909
I found this note under my pillow.
192
00:10:18,993 --> 00:10:21,704
"Do the right thing.
I know where you sleep."
193
00:10:22,413 --> 00:10:23,414
Really, Kitty?
194
00:10:23,914 --> 00:10:27,793
Your plan is to drag our granddaughter
into all this mess?
195
00:10:28,794 --> 00:10:29,962
I like it.
196
00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:32,173
You want me to lie too?
197
00:10:32,256 --> 00:10:34,050
If that ticket sticks,
198
00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:37,928
our insurance rate goes up
200 bucks a month.
199
00:10:38,012 --> 00:10:42,975
Now, I don't know how much you think
your morals are worth,
200
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:46,354
but it's less than 200 bucks a month.
201
00:10:47,229 --> 00:10:48,856
Who are you people?
202
00:10:49,565 --> 00:10:52,234
{\an8}["Jungle Boogie" by Kool & The Gang plays]
203
00:10:54,278 --> 00:10:55,571
♪ Jungle boogie ♪
204
00:10:56,447 --> 00:10:57,740
♪ Jungle boogie ♪
205
00:10:58,574 --> 00:10:59,867
♪ Jungle boogie... ♪
206
00:10:59,950 --> 00:11:02,495
I love when we match outfits.
207
00:11:03,996 --> 00:11:06,957
[gasps] We should pull over
and take our Christmas picture.
208
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:09,293
We're on the job, Kitty.
209
00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:12,088
Right, rough stuff.
210
00:11:14,298 --> 00:11:16,342
You know what I loved about Paris?
211
00:11:16,425 --> 00:11:18,469
The little differences.
212
00:11:19,220 --> 00:11:20,221
Like McDonald's,
213
00:11:20,304 --> 00:11:23,057
remember what they called
a quarter pounder with cheese?
214
00:11:23,557 --> 00:11:26,310
Royale with cheese.
215
00:11:27,436 --> 00:11:30,189
How did they come up with that? [laughs]
216
00:11:30,731 --> 00:11:32,274
Europe is so clever.
217
00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:35,403
They're on the metric system there.
218
00:11:35,486 --> 00:11:38,155
They wouldn't know
what the **** a quarter pounder is.
219
00:11:41,492 --> 00:11:44,662
Next time we're in Europe,
I want to go to Holland.
220
00:11:45,204 --> 00:11:47,790
Know what they put on their french fries
instead of ketchup?
221
00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:48,833
What?
222
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:50,793
Mayonnaise.
223
00:11:50,876 --> 00:11:53,337
[both laughing]
224
00:11:53,421 --> 00:11:55,005
I saw it on TV.
225
00:11:55,506 --> 00:11:57,925
They **** drown them in that shit.
226
00:11:58,008 --> 00:12:00,010
[both laughing]
227
00:12:00,094 --> 00:12:02,221
["Jungle Boogie" fades and ends]
228
00:12:02,304 --> 00:12:05,558
-You guys are freaking me out.
-Well, just think about it.
229
00:12:06,058 --> 00:12:09,520
Really think about it.
230
00:12:10,187 --> 00:12:11,772
[rock riff plays]
231
00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:14,734
Hey. Let's take a ride.
232
00:12:14,817 --> 00:12:16,819
I've seen the water tower, Jay.
233
00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:19,905
Did you see the part where
he wrote "Nate loves Nikki" on it?
234
00:12:21,198 --> 00:12:25,244
Come on, Nikki. I mean,
I've been with Nate every step of the way.
235
00:12:25,911 --> 00:12:26,829
He really loves you.
236
00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:28,205
If that was true,
237
00:12:28,289 --> 00:12:31,667
he'd think about how all his crap
always leads to me getting hurt.
238
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:34,754
I'm in a mature relationship now
with someone at my level.
239
00:12:34,837 --> 00:12:37,173
What if I teach him
how to be mature like me?
240
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,468
You think the Power Rangers are real.
241
00:12:40,968 --> 00:12:45,055
One day the Megazords are gonna attack us,
and you'll be kissing their ass.
242
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:49,143
-I'm done with you.
-Hey, quick question.
243
00:12:49,226 --> 00:12:51,937
What's your stance
on two dudes fighting over a girl,
244
00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:55,524
and then the winner gets to keep her
like a stuffed bear at a carnival?
245
00:12:56,066 --> 00:12:58,569
Wait, what? Is Nate going to fight Theo?
246
00:12:58,652 --> 00:13:00,196
Tonight at 7:30.
247
00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:02,323
Why so late?
248
00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:06,452
Don't even ask.
It was a complete scheduling fiasco.
249
00:13:06,952 --> 00:13:09,288
[rock music playing]
250
00:13:11,665 --> 00:13:13,709
I got nowhere with Leia.
251
00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:17,087
We raised her right.
Now we're paying for it.
252
00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:21,634
Either gotta sleep with the judge
or find a way to get some sympathy.
253
00:13:21,717 --> 00:13:23,302
Both work. One's more fun.
254
00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:27,139
Well, why would the judge
have sympathy for me?
255
00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:30,017
This hair, this skin.
Look at me. I'm glowing.
256
00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:34,104
How about you put on that walking boot
and ham up the old ankle injury?
257
00:13:34,188 --> 00:13:36,315
Go all out. Make up a backstory.
258
00:13:36,398 --> 00:13:40,986
-The key is you really gotta commit to it.
-I don't know if I can pull that off.
259
00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:42,154
Here we go, honey.
260
00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:43,239
Thank you, honey.
261
00:13:43,864 --> 00:13:44,865
Whoa.
262
00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:45,783
Yikes!
263
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,035
This has...
264
00:13:48,118 --> 00:13:50,746
This has a lot more pep than the old one.
265
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,039
Whoopsie.
266
00:13:52,122 --> 00:13:53,123
Right over here.
267
00:13:57,419 --> 00:13:59,296
Sorry, so sorry. Here we go.
268
00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:02,174
Red, something's stuck. Something's stuck.
269
00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:04,260
[rock music plays]
270
00:14:06,136 --> 00:14:09,265
I can still smell your hairspray, Midge.
271
00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:14,478
I can't say it for women,
but... I used it all the time.
272
00:14:16,438 --> 00:14:19,859
What we're witnessing here
is the long-term effects of steroids.
273
00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:23,028
Hey, Grandpa Bob.
274
00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:25,865
Why don't you come downstairs?
275
00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:29,410
You've gotta be hungry, or thirsty,
or have to go to the bathroom.
276
00:14:29,493 --> 00:14:30,494
I'm good.
277
00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:34,999
I found an old jar of pickles up here,
so it took care of all three.
278
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,836
Come on, Grandpa.
You can't stay up here forever.
279
00:14:39,336 --> 00:14:41,714
Your ham guy at the deli
is gonna miss you.
280
00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:45,801
Being around all this old stuff
281
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:49,847
brings me back
to the happiest times of my life.
282
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,266
If I go downstairs,
283
00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:54,268
that's gone.
284
00:14:55,519 --> 00:14:59,940
The only reason I'm still here is because
I really want that scarf he's crying into.
285
00:15:01,692 --> 00:15:07,031
You know, life can get crazy
and pull you in different directions.
286
00:15:07,114 --> 00:15:08,908
But that's just noise.
287
00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:12,995
The most important thing is family.
288
00:15:13,078 --> 00:15:16,332
You've got to stick together,
no matter what.
289
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:18,834
No matter what?
290
00:15:20,210 --> 00:15:21,045
Always.
291
00:15:27,843 --> 00:15:29,762
Ugh... It's so wet.
292
00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:32,598
[rock music plays]
293
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,560
That's right. I'm a few minutes early.
294
00:15:36,644 --> 00:15:39,146
'Cause it was the best rehearsal
we had all year.
295
00:15:39,229 --> 00:15:40,564
Let's do this.
296
00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:43,233
Hey. I'll even let you have
the first punch.
297
00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:44,276
Come on.
298
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:46,236
One, two, three, four.
299
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:48,238
One, two, three, four.
300
00:15:48,322 --> 00:15:50,115
-One, two...
-What are you doing?
301
00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:51,909
[babble, groans harshly]
302
00:15:51,992 --> 00:15:53,452
I'm waking up my extremities.
303
00:15:53,535 --> 00:15:55,245
I'm trained in stage combat.
304
00:15:55,329 --> 00:15:57,456
You may know this move
from Merchant of Venice.
305
00:15:57,539 --> 00:16:00,000
Ha! Ha! Ha!
306
00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:01,126
[exhales]
307
00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:03,045
Did you say Dennis the Menace?
308
00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:06,423
How about a little West Side Story?
309
00:16:09,051 --> 00:16:10,928
Bro, now you're doing Popeye crap?
310
00:16:11,428 --> 00:16:12,471
Can we fight now?
311
00:16:13,931 --> 00:16:14,974
That's my cue.
312
00:16:17,101 --> 00:16:19,103
Whoa. [grunts]
313
00:16:19,728 --> 00:16:21,355
What the hell is happening?
314
00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:26,360
Why are you holding
my boyfriend so elegantly?
315
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,905
[rock music plays]
316
00:16:31,782 --> 00:16:34,118
Case 526, Katherine Forman.
317
00:16:34,743 --> 00:16:36,120
Right here, Your Honor.
318
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:45,087
And now here.
319
00:16:45,754 --> 00:16:47,339
[laughs]
320
00:16:48,966 --> 00:16:50,592
You've been cited for speeding.
321
00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:53,846
Seventy-five miles an hour
on a surface street?
322
00:16:53,929 --> 00:16:55,973
Your Honor, I would never speed.
323
00:16:56,056 --> 00:17:00,853
Every day is precious to me
since I... I almost lost my foot.
324
00:17:02,438 --> 00:17:07,484
I don't want to go into what happened
or how many lives I saved.
325
00:17:07,568 --> 00:17:10,779
-You're not supposed to be talking yet.
-It was five. Five lives.
326
00:17:13,073 --> 00:17:15,743
I'm here. Can I have a minute
with my grandma?
327
00:17:15,826 --> 00:17:17,202
Of course, sweetheart.
328
00:17:17,286 --> 00:17:20,914
-Absolutely not.
-I don't know who to listen to.
329
00:17:20,998 --> 00:17:22,332
This is my courtroom.
330
00:17:22,416 --> 00:17:23,250
Objection!
331
00:17:25,335 --> 00:17:26,920
She is my granddaughter.
332
00:17:27,546 --> 00:17:30,049
Well, can I talk to both of you
at the same time?
333
00:17:30,132 --> 00:17:31,341
I will allow it.
334
00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:37,181
I realize that being here for you
is the right thing to do.
335
00:17:37,765 --> 00:17:39,600
Family should always come first.
336
00:17:40,934 --> 00:17:42,269
Oh, honey.
337
00:17:42,352 --> 00:17:43,479
Something's wrong.
338
00:17:44,354 --> 00:17:46,482
That's Kitty's regretful face.
339
00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:50,569
I see it every time she gets stuck
in a conversation with you.
340
00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:54,698
I should never have asked you to do this.
341
00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:55,741
I'm sorry.
342
00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:58,702
I am... I am sorry about everything.
343
00:17:58,786 --> 00:18:01,455
Let's move this along.
Guilty or not guilty?
344
00:18:01,538 --> 00:18:02,372
Guilty.
345
00:18:03,332 --> 00:18:06,418
Guilty of speeding. Guilty as a grandma.
346
00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:13,634
And when I return videos,
I am not kind, and I do not rewind.
347
00:18:14,551 --> 00:18:19,014
You know, I wasn't going to do this,
but that last one really pisses me off.
348
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:21,266
License suspended for 60 days.
349
00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:23,393
[wails] No!
350
00:18:23,894 --> 00:18:25,145
That's two months.
351
00:18:25,896 --> 00:18:27,022
Oh, that's nothing.
352
00:18:28,649 --> 00:18:29,566
Did you want more?
353
00:18:29,650 --> 00:18:31,902
-Grandma, stop talking.
-Okay. Hop on, honey.
354
00:18:42,037 --> 00:18:45,290
Sorry, Your Honor. Sorry.
Sometimes it gets a little...
355
00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:47,584
-[chair scraping]
-Oh. Sorry. So sorry.
356
00:18:47,668 --> 00:18:49,962
Oh, that was unplanned.
That was unplanned.
357
00:18:50,462 --> 00:18:51,547
Okay. Bye.
358
00:18:53,715 --> 00:18:56,343
I better go make sure
she doesn't go down the stairs.
359
00:18:56,426 --> 00:18:57,302
Yeah.
360
00:18:59,054 --> 00:19:01,974
-Bye, Judge Jezner.
-Always a pleasure, Sherri.
361
00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:04,017
[mouthing]
362
00:19:04,101 --> 00:19:06,270
[rock music playing]
363
00:19:08,564 --> 00:19:11,483
Seriously, Theo, I thought
you were gonna be the mature one.
364
00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:12,526
Me too.
365
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:14,153
I'm shocked.
366
00:19:15,028 --> 00:19:16,780
This is so disappointing.
367
00:19:16,864 --> 00:19:20,075
I had high hopes for you,
but you are just another man-baby.
368
00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:22,786
He's the man-baby. His mom dressed him.
369
00:19:23,787 --> 00:19:25,664
You shut up about my mommy.
370
00:19:26,582 --> 00:19:28,375
At least he's open about it.
371
00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:31,420
You're worse.
You're like a secret man-baby.
372
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:36,717
-You just act like someone who's mature.
-Wait. Did you compliment my acting?
373
00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:41,013
Thank you. It's so nice
to have my work recognized.
374
00:19:41,096 --> 00:19:44,057
Ew. No, we are definitely breaking up.
375
00:19:44,141 --> 00:19:46,310
I can't believe
you're picking him over me.
376
00:19:47,144 --> 00:19:48,854
Well, that's what's happening.
377
00:19:49,354 --> 00:19:52,316
You'd know that if you'd ever seen
The Merchant of Suck It!
378
00:19:52,399 --> 00:19:54,401
-[chuckling]
-[scoffs]
379
00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:59,072
-That is what's happening, right?
-Just stop.
380
00:20:01,074 --> 00:20:02,951
Nik, I really do love you.
381
00:20:04,077 --> 00:20:04,912
I know.
382
00:20:06,163 --> 00:20:07,456
That's not where I'm at.
383
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:12,920
Like, right now or forever?
384
00:20:13,003 --> 00:20:14,588
[breathes deeply]
385
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:20,636
-Got it.
-Yeah.
386
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:24,181
Wow.
387
00:20:25,349 --> 00:20:26,266
You'll be okay.
388
00:20:30,270 --> 00:20:34,233
-You know I could have kicked his ass?
-I could have kicked his ass.
389
00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:37,152
-[chuckles]
-[rock riff plays]
390
00:20:37,861 --> 00:20:41,657
What the hell, Bob? Do some laundry!
391
00:20:42,741 --> 00:20:44,826
I got plenty of clothes.
392
00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:48,455
But these are the only ones
making me happy right now.
393
00:20:49,456 --> 00:20:50,540
Are you okay?
394
00:20:50,624 --> 00:20:53,961
I think it's fair to say I'm not.
395
00:20:54,836 --> 00:20:56,380
Bob, did you hear?
396
00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:59,758
I lost my license
through no fault of my own.
397
00:21:00,676 --> 00:21:04,054
So, I'm gonna need people
to help drive me around.
398
00:21:04,137 --> 00:21:05,389
It'll be fun.
399
00:21:05,472 --> 00:21:07,474
[classic theme music playing]
400
00:21:09,309 --> 00:21:10,936
♪ Hanging out ♪
401
00:21:12,646 --> 00:21:14,731
♪ Down the street ♪
402
00:21:16,316 --> 00:21:18,360
♪ The same old thing ♪
403
00:21:20,237 --> 00:21:22,030
♪ We did last week ♪
404
00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:26,910
♪ Not a thing to do ♪
405
00:21:27,536 --> 00:21:30,414
♪ But talk to you ♪
406
00:21:30,998 --> 00:21:35,043
♪ We're all all right
We're all all right ♪
407
00:21:35,627 --> 00:21:37,462
Hello, Wisconsin!
408
00:21:37,546 --> 00:21:39,548
[song fades out]
409
00:21:39,631 --> 00:21:43,552
["That '70s Song (Previously Unreleased)"
by Cheap Trick plays]
410
00:21:46,638 --> 00:21:49,558
♪ I've seen her car ♪
411
00:21:50,642 --> 00:21:52,561
♪ Drive on down ♪
412
00:21:54,521 --> 00:21:56,106
♪ Pick you up ♪
413
00:21:57,649 --> 00:22:00,402
♪ And we'll drive around ♪
414
00:22:01,653 --> 00:22:04,865
♪ Not a thing to do ♪
415
00:22:05,657 --> 00:22:08,368
♪ But talk to you ♪
416
00:22:08,869 --> 00:22:12,164
♪ Not a thing to do ♪
417
00:22:12,247 --> 00:22:16,585
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
418
00:22:18,670 --> 00:22:19,588
{\an8}[song fades out]
31973
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof