Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,924
[rock riff plays]
2
00:00:08,633 --> 00:00:11,136
Thank you for letting us
put a few things in your fridge.
3
00:00:11,219 --> 00:00:13,263
Thank you for letting me steal your cable.
4
00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:18,268
Every time we have a barbecue,
she overdoes it.
5
00:00:18,351 --> 00:00:22,147
Because we ran out of food, one time,
6
00:00:22,230 --> 00:00:24,357
in 1976.
7
00:00:25,525 --> 00:00:26,943
It still haunts me.
8
00:00:27,652 --> 00:00:32,157
I watched my father
dip an empty wiener bun in ketchup.
9
00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:34,200
On his deathbed, my mother said,
10
00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:38,121
"You can let go, Bert.
They won't run out of weenies in Heaven."
11
00:00:38,997 --> 00:00:40,165
[truck horn blasting]
12
00:00:40,248 --> 00:00:42,751
-Oh, you gotta be kidding me.
-[hydraulics hissing]
13
00:00:42,834 --> 00:00:46,254
Is that a tow truck?
Are they repossessing your car?
14
00:00:46,337 --> 00:00:47,839
Why would you jump to that?
15
00:00:47,922 --> 00:00:50,216
Because it happens with some frequency.
16
00:00:51,384 --> 00:00:53,011
Hey, Daddy's home.
17
00:00:53,094 --> 00:00:56,014
This is Gwen's dad.
I don't call him Daddy.
18
00:00:56,097 --> 00:00:57,140
Not anymore.
19
00:00:58,558 --> 00:01:02,312
Otis, I asked you to call when you stop by
instead of surprising us like this.
20
00:01:02,395 --> 00:01:05,648
Yeah, and I asked you
to stop looking so damn beautiful,
21
00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:07,358
and you didn't listen either.
22
00:01:08,359 --> 00:01:09,736
He did ask that.
23
00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:13,323
I had time off
and wanted to spend it with my girls.
24
00:01:13,406 --> 00:01:15,575
Time off? Suspended or fired?
25
00:01:15,658 --> 00:01:17,827
Oh, something better than that, baby.
26
00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:19,954
I got hit by a mail truck.
27
00:01:21,456 --> 00:01:22,916
Settled for 20,000 dollars.
28
00:01:22,999 --> 00:01:26,628
Whoa. I only got half that
when McDonald's served me a McFinger.
29
00:01:28,713 --> 00:01:30,590
-Dad! [laughs]
-Oh! [laughing]
30
00:01:30,673 --> 00:01:33,718
Wait, baby doll.
Okay, we gotta do the thing.
31
00:01:33,802 --> 00:01:35,303
-What thing?
-Mm.
32
00:01:35,386 --> 00:01:36,513
[stomping]
33
00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:37,430
♪ War! ♪
34
00:01:37,514 --> 00:01:38,348
♪ Uh! ♪
35
00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:39,682
♪ Good God, y'all! ♪
36
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:41,643
♪ What is it good for? ♪
37
00:01:41,726 --> 00:01:43,144
♪ Absolutely nothing! ♪
38
00:01:43,228 --> 00:01:44,854
[both laughing]
39
00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:46,481
Why are we stopping?
40
00:01:47,857 --> 00:01:50,610
We used to sing that every night
when she was a little girl.
41
00:01:50,693 --> 00:01:52,320
Cutest thing you ever seen.
42
00:01:52,821 --> 00:01:53,822
I'm talking about me.
43
00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:56,449
-Red Forman.
-Otis.
44
00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:58,618
This is my wife Kitty. We live next door,
45
00:01:58,701 --> 00:02:00,912
and we're having a barbecue,
so come on over.
46
00:02:00,995 --> 00:02:03,540
It is gonna be a good one. [chuckles]
47
00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:06,960
Linda down the street just won't shut up
about her new tiki bar.
48
00:02:07,043 --> 00:02:07,877
Haha!
49
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:12,590
But I am gonna shut her up
with a mouthful of my three-bean salad.
50
00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:13,800
Haha!
51
00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:16,594
Gwen, help me get
my stuff out of the truck.
52
00:02:16,678 --> 00:02:19,722
Please tell me
you got rid of those naked lady mudflaps.
53
00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:21,724
Oh, yeah, those are long gone.
54
00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:23,268
Now, my truck has balls.
55
00:02:25,937 --> 00:02:26,813
He seems fun.
56
00:02:26,896 --> 00:02:30,066
He is fun. Too fun.
Things always start out great,
57
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:33,695
but then we end up back in the sack
banging like shoes in the dryer.
58
00:02:34,195 --> 00:02:36,698
Boy, you sure have a lot of words for it.
59
00:02:37,907 --> 00:02:40,869
Then we end up fighting,
and everything gets screwed up.
60
00:02:41,452 --> 00:02:43,705
This time, you just won't do it.
61
00:02:44,205 --> 00:02:46,708
Easy-peasy, close your kneesies.
62
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,794
Our teachers used to say that.
63
00:02:50,336 --> 00:02:52,130
It's all we had before the pill.
64
00:02:52,630 --> 00:02:56,843
Seriously, Kitty, I need your help.
Please, make sure I don't sleep with Otis.
65
00:02:56,926 --> 00:02:59,179
-Don't worry. I'll keep you pure.
-Okay.
66
00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:01,222
Starting now, obviously.
67
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:06,603
Mom, Dad said he was gonna teach me
how to drive the truck after the barbecue.
68
00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:08,062
Isn't that illegal?
69
00:03:08,146 --> 00:03:09,564
Only if we get caught.
70
00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:13,276
And no one is a better teacher
than Papa Bear.
71
00:03:13,359 --> 00:03:15,195
-Oh.
-Am I right, baby?
72
00:03:16,404 --> 00:03:18,656
Good luck.
Things are already touching things.
73
00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:20,658
[theme music playing]
74
00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:22,619
{\an8}♪ Hanging out down the street ♪
75
00:03:22,702 --> 00:03:24,662
{\an8}♪ The same old thing we did last week ♪
76
00:03:24,746 --> 00:03:26,873
{\an8}♪ Not a thing to do ♪
77
00:03:26,956 --> 00:03:28,917
{\an8}♪ But talk to you ♪
78
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:31,586
{\an8}♪ We're all all right
We're all all right ♪
79
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:34,547
{\an8}Hello, Wisconsin!
80
00:03:38,259 --> 00:03:41,721
Why does he get to use the meat mallet?
81
00:03:41,804 --> 00:03:44,349
{\an8}That's as close
as I'll ever get to therapy.
82
00:03:45,808 --> 00:03:48,478
{\an8}I am trying to keep him away from Sherri.
83
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:53,191
{\an8}And he's wearing my favorite apron.
We are all making sacrifices.
84
00:03:54,359 --> 00:03:55,860
{\an8}-Dad, this is my friend Leia.
-Hi.
85
00:03:55,944 --> 00:03:59,072
{\an8}I checked out your truck.
I love trucks and trucking culture.
86
00:03:59,155 --> 00:04:01,115
{\an8}Also, hello. Now, back to trucks.
87
00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:04,244
{\an8}Sorry, she just shotgunned a Capri-Sun.
88
00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:08,957
{\an8}A long time ago, before I had friends,
89
00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:11,960
{\an8}I'd kill time chatting with truckers
on my dad's CB radio.
90
00:04:12,043 --> 00:04:16,547
{\an8}My handle is Ratchetjaw.
I put on Christmas radio plays.
91
00:04:17,131 --> 00:04:18,800
{\an8}Santa Has to Sneeze.
92
00:04:18,883 --> 00:04:20,718
{\an8}Cookies and Milk for Dada.
93
00:04:21,302 --> 00:04:24,472
{\an8}-Doesn't ring a bell.
-Rudolph Does Dallas.
94
00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:28,476
{\an8}It's truckers. Gotta know your audience.
95
00:04:30,186 --> 00:04:32,146
{\an8}Hey, Otis, can you tie me up?
96
00:04:32,230 --> 00:04:34,065
{\an8}Ooh. Right here in the kitchen?
97
00:04:34,649 --> 00:04:37,026
{\an8}I will do that. Thank you.
98
00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:39,487
{\an8}You are wearing half a shirt.
99
00:04:39,570 --> 00:04:41,072
{\an8}Whose side are you on?
100
00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:48,204
{\an8}Red, why don't you take Otis outside
and let him man the grill?
101
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:49,831
{\an8}My grill?
102
00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:52,417
{\an8}Absolutely not.
103
00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:54,961
{\an8}You already took away my chicken hammer.
104
00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:58,965
{\an8}You know, I always loved you
in a halter top.
105
00:04:59,048 --> 00:05:00,508
{\an8}And out of a halter top.
106
00:05:00,591 --> 00:05:01,634
{\an8}[laughs]
107
00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:06,180
{\an8}Red! Grill! Go!
It's gonna happen in my kitchen.
108
00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:11,519
{\an8}I don't know how,
but he already untied me!
109
00:05:15,106 --> 00:05:15,940
{\an8}Yeah.
110
00:05:16,607 --> 00:05:17,608
{\an8}[stapler clacking]
111
00:05:17,692 --> 00:05:19,861
{\an8}I used to do this to Eric's pockets
112
00:05:20,361 --> 00:05:22,697
{\an8}so kids wouldn't steal his lunch money.
113
00:05:22,780 --> 00:05:24,949
[rock music playing]
114
00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,329
[Red shudders slightly]
115
00:05:30,580 --> 00:05:34,500
{\an8}-You all right, man?
-It's just, um, difficult for me.
116
00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:38,588
{\an8}Because, um...
you're not doing anything right.
117
00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:41,799
{\an8}I can't watch.
118
00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:46,637
{\an8}So, Gwen is super excited
about her truck-driving lessons.
119
00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:47,972
{\an8}And it got me thinking.
120
00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:51,100
{\an8}What if I tagged along
and had an experience I'd never forget?
121
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:53,269
{\an8}Leia, this is a dad-daughter thing.
122
00:05:53,978 --> 00:05:56,064
{\an8}Yeah, I'm a daughter, he's a dad.
123
00:05:56,147 --> 00:05:57,231
{\an8}It all checks out.
124
00:05:58,649 --> 00:06:01,110
{\an8}For obvious reasons, I am not your dad.
125
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:04,405
{\an8}Come on, I wanna honk the truck horn.
126
00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:05,948
{\an8}My dad drives a Jetta.
127
00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:09,243
{\an8}It sounds like, "Meep-meep."
I want, "Honk!"
128
00:06:12,121 --> 00:06:13,748
-Otis.
-Hey.
129
00:06:13,831 --> 00:06:16,918
So, Nate. Senior year's coming up.
How's the football team looking?
130
00:06:17,001 --> 00:06:18,961
He's the fastest guy on the team.
131
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:20,338
It's gonna be a bloodbath.
132
00:06:20,421 --> 00:06:21,923
[chuckling]
133
00:06:22,006 --> 00:06:23,424
I'm pretty scared.
134
00:06:24,258 --> 00:06:26,803
[whining] Nate! You made my drink wrong.
135
00:06:26,886 --> 00:06:28,304
It's ice water.
136
00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:31,599
Yeah, but you put the ice in first,
and now it's all wet.
137
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:34,143
New girlfriend?
138
00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:38,773
Actually, I'm trying to break up with her,
but I haven't quite nailed it yet.
139
00:06:39,565 --> 00:06:42,860
Look, Betsy,
this isn't really working for me.
140
00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:46,406
You're great and all,
but we need to break up.
141
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,074
No.
142
00:06:49,033 --> 00:06:50,618
I'm... I'm breaking up with you.
143
00:06:50,701 --> 00:06:51,869
Right, and I said no.
144
00:06:53,496 --> 00:06:54,872
-Can you do that?
-Yes.
145
00:06:55,373 --> 00:06:57,333
Yes, you'll break up with me.
146
00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,210
-Nope.
-Cool.
147
00:07:00,461 --> 00:07:01,337
Thanks, babe.
148
00:07:05,466 --> 00:07:06,926
Oh yeah. I've been there.
149
00:07:07,009 --> 00:07:10,805
You lay the pipe too clean,
the wild ones will never let you go.
150
00:07:12,181 --> 00:07:13,349
She's my sister.
151
00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:16,018
Sorry about the pipe stuff.
152
00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:18,813
Hey, you wanna end things,
153
00:07:18,896 --> 00:07:22,900
tell her you cheated on her
with that funny little truck girl.
154
00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:26,237
That's my girlfriend, man.
155
00:07:29,490 --> 00:07:31,617
You're making this literally impossible.
156
00:07:32,201 --> 00:07:34,203
[rock music playing]
157
00:07:35,955 --> 00:07:38,541
Help me find a movie
for my first date with Isaac.
158
00:07:38,624 --> 00:07:41,335
There's Homeward Bound 2:
Lost in San Francisco, which...
159
00:07:42,086 --> 00:07:43,045
I'm dying to see.
160
00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:48,342
-I'm never gonna tell him that.
-You can tell him that.
161
00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:50,303
You'll just die a virgin.
162
00:07:52,513 --> 00:07:55,016
Prettiest girl in the place
gets free fries.
163
00:07:58,769 --> 00:08:01,063
Don't get too cocky.
There's three people in here.
164
00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:06,277
Sorry, I'm jealous you're past
all the first date awkwardness.
165
00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:09,405
Yeah, but what you just saw,
that is all we do.
166
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:12,325
I think we're both ready
to kick it up a notch,
167
00:08:12,408 --> 00:08:15,578
but he's shy, and I've never had to be
the one to make the first move.
168
00:08:15,661 --> 00:08:19,290
I get it. You're used to dating Nate,
the human erection.
169
00:08:19,957 --> 00:08:22,668
I would look down,
and it'd just be in my hand.
170
00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:25,338
Well, how about this for a move?
171
00:08:25,838 --> 00:08:28,424
Next time you're at the movies,
reach for the popcorn.
172
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,676
-Reach for the popcorn?
-You know...
173
00:08:32,386 --> 00:08:34,013
The popcorn's in his lap.
174
00:08:34,096 --> 00:08:35,139
You reach for it
175
00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:36,724
and miss.
176
00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:40,394
Oh, that's a good move.
177
00:08:40,478 --> 00:08:44,148
It's one of the few moves
where if you miss, you get a snack.
178
00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:47,860
Oh, we can see The Craft!
179
00:08:48,903 --> 00:08:52,532
-Damn, it's rated R.
-Get someone over 18 to buy you a ticket.
180
00:08:53,449 --> 00:08:54,367
Who would do that?
181
00:08:54,450 --> 00:08:56,786
[video game sounds playing]
182
00:08:56,869 --> 00:08:58,829
Man, this level is so hard!
183
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,749
You have to put in a quarter, dude.
184
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:07,338
-Hey, guys.
-[both shouting] Fozzie!
185
00:09:08,589 --> 00:09:11,425
-It's Ozzie.
-Ozzie's not a name.
186
00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:13,010
What about Ozzy Osbourne?
187
00:09:13,094 --> 00:09:15,429
Dude, it's Fozzie Fosbourne, you idiot.
188
00:09:17,098 --> 00:09:18,140
I need a favor.
189
00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:19,225
Oh, we'll do it.
190
00:09:19,308 --> 00:09:21,727
-I didn't say what it was.
-Well, then no way.
191
00:09:22,853 --> 00:09:25,940
I need you to buy me and my date
tickets to an R-rated movie.
192
00:09:26,023 --> 00:09:28,609
Sure. I've always wanted kids, man.
193
00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:29,986
Plus, free movie.
194
00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:33,573
-We're buying the tickets.
-Oh, kids are so expensive.
195
00:09:33,656 --> 00:09:35,533
[rock riff plays]
196
00:09:36,492 --> 00:09:39,287
I know you don't want to break up, but...
197
00:09:40,454 --> 00:09:42,832
there's some new information
since yesterday.
198
00:09:43,916 --> 00:09:46,586
Betsy... I cheated on you.
199
00:09:47,878 --> 00:09:48,879
What's her name?
200
00:09:49,922 --> 00:09:52,133
Amy Pasta.
201
00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:54,093
She's Italian.
202
00:09:55,678 --> 00:09:58,180
We did everything.
203
00:09:58,889 --> 00:10:00,850
Even the stuff you taught me.
204
00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:02,476
[whispers] What a betrayal.
205
00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:03,436
Wow.
206
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:07,648
-It's cool you're being honest with me.
-No, it's not.
207
00:10:08,649 --> 00:10:10,109
Can I be honest with you?
208
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,653
The idea of you and Amy...
209
00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:15,615
It's kind of turning me on.
210
00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:20,911
[somberly] No.
211
00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:25,333
It is. And I'd be open to me, you, and Amy
212
00:10:25,416 --> 00:10:29,045
getting together and making
a Nate sandwich.
213
00:10:30,713 --> 00:10:35,635
You know, I think she's doing a whole
no-bread thing, but... I'll ask. [chuckles]
214
00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:37,720
[rock music playing]
215
00:10:39,805 --> 00:10:42,642
It's so cool you had a hook-up
to get these tickets.
216
00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:45,728
-Are those old guys your friends?
-In small doses.
217
00:10:45,811 --> 00:10:47,605
-They can be a lot.
-Hey, kids!
218
00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:52,693
I thought we already
said goodbye out there.
219
00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:55,404
We got worried about you guys
being in here by yourselves.
220
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:58,115
We didn't want you guys
sitting next to some weirdos.
221
00:10:59,408 --> 00:11:03,162
Yeah, I... I think we'll be fine.
You guys really don't have to stay.
222
00:11:03,245 --> 00:11:06,332
Here's the thing.
I've never had kids before.
223
00:11:06,415 --> 00:11:07,375
You still don't.
224
00:11:08,584 --> 00:11:11,712
I'm starting to have second thoughts
about letting you watch an R-rated movie.
225
00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:14,256
I feel like me and Bunch
should be in here to cover your eyes
226
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:15,925
in case there's things you shouldn't see.
227
00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:18,135
Yeah, like blood or boobs.
228
00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:22,765
Oh, movies! The television of the theater!
229
00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:26,560
Bring on the blood and boobs!
230
00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:34,860
Why are these weenies all shriveled?
231
00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:38,614
You put a rookie on the grill.
232
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,825
This was so preventable!
233
00:11:41,742 --> 00:11:42,952
Where's Otis?
234
00:11:43,661 --> 00:11:47,206
I don't know.
I was in the john. Where's Sherri?
235
00:11:47,289 --> 00:11:48,833
I was in the jane.
236
00:11:53,170 --> 00:11:55,589
I knew I should have stapled more things.
237
00:11:56,841 --> 00:11:57,842
It wasn't my fault.
238
00:11:57,925 --> 00:12:01,303
The fact that you were trying to keep us
from doing it made it even hotter.
239
00:12:02,513 --> 00:12:04,724
You always talk about
stuff like this with your neighbors?
240
00:12:04,807 --> 00:12:07,017
This guy's asking the right question.
241
00:12:09,645 --> 00:12:10,980
What the hell is this?
242
00:12:11,063 --> 00:12:12,815
I think your parents had sex.
243
00:12:13,691 --> 00:12:15,484
Before you get upset, he started it.
244
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:18,279
Coming in here
smelling like Old Spice and diesel.
245
00:12:18,362 --> 00:12:19,697
He knew what he was doing.
246
00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:23,743
Dad, you were supposed
to take me out driving a half hour ago.
247
00:12:23,826 --> 00:12:25,244
I've been waiting by the truck.
248
00:12:25,327 --> 00:12:26,787
Well, I lost track of time.
249
00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:29,248
And my pants. I gotta find those.
250
00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:33,461
So typical. Every time you're here,
I fall for this like an idiot.
251
00:12:33,544 --> 00:12:34,628
Fall for what?
252
00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:37,047
You! And whatever crap you promised.
253
00:12:37,131 --> 00:12:40,801
Hey... Don't talk like to me that.
I'm your father.
254
00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:43,888
Really? 'Cause you're not acting like it.
255
00:12:47,224 --> 00:12:49,643
I get it. It's lonely out on the road.
256
00:12:50,978 --> 00:12:52,980
[rock riff plays]
257
00:12:58,569 --> 00:13:00,905
-Are you okay?
-I'm pissed.
258
00:13:01,697 --> 00:13:03,908
I'm too insecure not to ask this question.
259
00:13:04,742 --> 00:13:05,826
Are you mad at me?
260
00:13:06,827 --> 00:13:09,955
No. I was excited to spend
some time with my dad,
261
00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:11,957
but he wasn't thinking about me.
262
00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:14,960
I have the opposite problem.
263
00:13:15,044 --> 00:13:18,005
My dad's so needy,
he doesn't wanna share me with anyone.
264
00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:23,219
Your opposite problem
is not helping right now.
265
00:13:26,388 --> 00:13:28,766
You know what? Screw this.
266
00:13:28,849 --> 00:13:32,102
If he doesn't wanna teach me how
to drive this thing, I'll teach myself.
267
00:13:33,020 --> 00:13:35,981
What are you doing? You don't have
a commercial driver's license!
268
00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:37,316
Which requires a vision test,
269
00:13:37,399 --> 00:13:39,401
a high school diploma,
and no criminal record.
270
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:40,736
Which you're about to have!
271
00:13:42,112 --> 00:13:45,533
If you stay quiet, I'll let you honk
the horn when we get on the interstate.
272
00:13:45,616 --> 00:13:47,618
[engine turns over]
273
00:13:49,912 --> 00:13:50,788
Not gonna make it!
274
00:13:50,871 --> 00:13:52,540
[truck horn blasting]
275
00:13:52,623 --> 00:13:55,334
Good thing I'm not driving,
'cause I am drunk with power.
276
00:13:55,417 --> 00:13:57,419
[rock music playing]
277
00:14:04,718 --> 00:14:05,970
Hello, Amy?
278
00:14:06,053 --> 00:14:10,099
My girlfriend and I are looking to add
a third person to our lovemaking.
279
00:14:10,182 --> 00:14:12,184
[dial tone]
280
00:14:12,768 --> 00:14:14,061
Hello? [chuckles]
281
00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:18,399
Dude, these threesome
cold calls are brutal.
282
00:14:19,149 --> 00:14:22,570
Forget that, 'cause I figured out
how you can get rid of my sister.
283
00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:25,114
Bro, you gotta smother her.
284
00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:28,242
That's dark, dude.
285
00:14:29,243 --> 00:14:31,662
No, I... I mean with affection.
286
00:14:31,745 --> 00:14:33,497
You got to get super clingy.
287
00:14:33,581 --> 00:14:36,333
Kelsos hate that
because of deep-seated insecurities
288
00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:39,169
rooted in the fact
that we're afraid to love ourselves.
289
00:14:40,004 --> 00:14:41,380
What the hell was that?
290
00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:44,383
My whole family went to therapy once.
291
00:14:44,466 --> 00:14:46,760
It took 20 minutes.
She figured us out quick.
292
00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:50,139
[sighs] I don't know.
293
00:14:50,639 --> 00:14:53,642
I'm starting to feel like...
what's the point? [chuckles]
294
00:14:54,351 --> 00:14:58,981
Nikki's dating another dude anyway.
Maybe I just stay with Betsy
295
00:14:59,773 --> 00:15:02,234
and live a miserable life
full of threesomes.
296
00:15:04,069 --> 00:15:08,032
[sighs] I want to be there for you, bro,
but again, this is my sister.
297
00:15:08,824 --> 00:15:11,368
[rock riff plays]
298
00:15:11,452 --> 00:15:13,203
How can she steal my truck?
299
00:15:13,287 --> 00:15:15,623
Those new balls cost me 100 bucks.
300
00:15:16,498 --> 00:15:17,583
It's called karma.
301
00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:21,378
It's what happens
when you touch another man's grill.
302
00:15:24,423 --> 00:15:26,634
I spoke to Dottie a few blocks down.
303
00:15:26,717 --> 00:15:29,762
The kids are fine.
They made it as far as her house.
304
00:15:29,845 --> 00:15:31,430
That girl's gonna get it.
305
00:15:31,513 --> 00:15:34,808
You start it up and tag me in
when you start to lose your voice.
306
00:15:34,892 --> 00:15:36,185
Hang on. Hang on.
307
00:15:37,853 --> 00:15:41,440
I know... if I was
in the middle of a family crisis,
308
00:15:41,523 --> 00:15:44,652
and a neighbor chimed in,
I would be really annoyed.
309
00:15:44,735 --> 00:15:50,157
But this is different
because I have something smart to say.
310
00:15:50,866 --> 00:15:54,244
Kitty, this is none of our business.
311
00:15:55,204 --> 00:15:58,332
I... I just wanted
to put that on the record.
312
00:15:59,291 --> 00:16:00,376
Go ahead.
313
00:16:01,335 --> 00:16:04,630
When I had a teenage daughter,
I did a lot of yelling,
314
00:16:04,713 --> 00:16:07,424
but I wish I could take
all those moments back.
315
00:16:07,508 --> 00:16:11,929
Kids don't steal trucks
or, in my daughter's case,
316
00:16:13,097 --> 00:16:16,600
rob a Kmart with her pastor
for no apparent reason.
317
00:16:19,019 --> 00:16:23,399
Instead of yelling at Gwen,
why don't you just talk to her?
318
00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:25,109
See what she has to say.
319
00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:29,530
Kitty says smart crap like this
all the time, and then I gotta do it.
320
00:16:31,073 --> 00:16:32,116
Such a bummer.
321
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:35,119
[rock riff plays]
322
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:38,622
Ah, such a good idea
to sneak into a different movie.
323
00:16:38,706 --> 00:16:39,790
I know, I'm...
324
00:16:40,624 --> 00:16:44,294
I'm just sorry we have to watch
Homeward Bound 2: Lost in San Francisco.
325
00:16:46,505 --> 00:16:48,382
Can I tell you something embarrassing?
326
00:16:49,383 --> 00:16:51,802
I actually love the first one. [chuckles]
327
00:16:51,885 --> 00:16:54,430
I cry every time
Shadow comes over the hill.
328
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,765
You don't think he's gonna make it.
329
00:16:57,641 --> 00:16:59,018
[whispers] But he makes it.
330
00:17:02,438 --> 00:17:04,440
[light music playing onscreen]
331
00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:26,378
Uh, you, uh... You missed.
332
00:17:28,338 --> 00:17:29,715
-You good?
-Green light.
333
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:34,511
Excuse us! Ivan! Fozzie!
334
00:17:34,595 --> 00:17:37,097
We are looking for two young boys!
335
00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:42,102
Kids! Man, we were so worried,
we almost called the cops.
336
00:17:42,186 --> 00:17:45,397
And then we remembered,
that's how the cops got us last time.
337
00:17:46,106 --> 00:17:48,358
Plus, I've been wanting
to see Homeward Bound 2
338
00:17:48,442 --> 00:17:50,986
since Homeward Bound 1:
The Incredible Journey.
339
00:17:51,987 --> 00:17:53,197
Oh shit, is that Sassy?
340
00:17:54,281 --> 00:17:57,367
[chuckling] Oh! No way!
What's that cat doing on a trolley?
341
00:17:57,451 --> 00:17:59,119
[rock music playing]
342
00:18:03,207 --> 00:18:06,627
Otis, that rig is a real panty dropper.
343
00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:11,090
Some woman in a Jeep flashed us.
344
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:14,218
Now is not the time to talk trucks.
345
00:18:14,301 --> 00:18:16,678
Well, there's never a bad time
to talk trucks.
346
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:20,474
Except right now.
347
00:18:23,143 --> 00:18:26,522
I know. I'm grounded.
I'll be in my room. Here.
348
00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:29,024
Hang on a second. I wanna talk to you.
349
00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:34,154
I'm sorry. I know I screwed up
with the driving lessons.
350
00:18:34,238 --> 00:18:38,075
It's not about the driving lessons.
What's your problem with me?
351
00:18:38,158 --> 00:18:41,286
-What are you talking about? I love you.
-It doesn't seem like it.
352
00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:43,580
Every time you show up,
you screw around with Mom
353
00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:44,832
and completely ignore me.
354
00:18:44,915 --> 00:18:46,959
My relationship with your mom is
355
00:18:47,835 --> 00:18:49,336
really complicated, okay?
356
00:18:49,419 --> 00:18:50,671
We love each other, but...
357
00:18:50,754 --> 00:18:53,048
This is the divorce speech.
Gotta get some new material.
358
00:18:55,175 --> 00:18:57,636
Why don't you ever wanna spend time
just you and me?
359
00:18:58,137 --> 00:18:59,346
That's not it.
360
00:19:00,013 --> 00:19:01,181
[sighs] I don't know.
361
00:19:03,308 --> 00:19:05,144
I'm only here a short amount of time,
362
00:19:05,227 --> 00:19:08,564
and I don't want to do anything
to make it harder on you when I go.
363
00:19:09,064 --> 00:19:11,233
Oh... Oh, I understand.
364
00:19:11,316 --> 00:19:14,486
You love me so much,
you don't wanna spend time with me.
365
00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:15,863
Yeah.
366
00:19:17,239 --> 00:19:18,073
[Otis sighs]
367
00:19:19,616 --> 00:19:22,578
Maybe I've been telling myself
I'm protecting you
368
00:19:22,661 --> 00:19:25,164
when, really, I'm just looking out for me.
369
00:19:25,956 --> 00:19:27,166
Which is pretty bad.
370
00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:32,254
And don't go saying I'm still a good dad
just to make me feel better.
371
00:19:33,338 --> 00:19:34,339
No problem.
372
00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:37,759
Well, damn. That backfired.
373
00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:44,141
Listen, none of this is an excuse
for hurting you like this.
374
00:19:44,224 --> 00:19:48,645
We have so little time together.
From now on, I wanna make it count.
375
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:51,690
Me too.
376
00:19:53,108 --> 00:19:54,067
I miss my dad.
377
00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:54,985
I miss you.
378
00:19:56,361 --> 00:19:57,196
Every day.
379
00:20:04,453 --> 00:20:06,955
Last chance to give your dad a compliment.
380
00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:09,958
I like your shirt.
381
00:20:13,086 --> 00:20:14,546
I guess it's my turn.
382
00:20:15,339 --> 00:20:16,506
I'm really sorry too.
383
00:20:16,590 --> 00:20:19,426
I can give you 100 dollars
or maybe take you to Disneyland.
384
00:20:19,509 --> 00:20:22,971
I thought I was gonna go first,
but he said all the good stuff already,
385
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:25,766
and bottom line is,
I don't have 100 dollars on me.
386
00:20:26,475 --> 00:20:28,977
[gentle music playing]
387
00:20:31,688 --> 00:20:33,982
Can we go to the movies again tomorrow?
388
00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:37,611
You know we don't have to be
at the movies for that to happen.
389
00:20:37,694 --> 00:20:39,613
Right. Right.
390
00:20:41,114 --> 00:20:43,075
We should get something on the books.
391
00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:45,577
We had fun too.
392
00:20:45,661 --> 00:20:47,663
It's the best first date I've ever had.
393
00:20:47,746 --> 00:20:48,705
-[chuckles]
-Yeah.
394
00:20:50,624 --> 00:20:51,583
[sighs]
395
00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:53,627
Why are you being so mopey?
396
00:20:53,710 --> 00:20:54,753
Me?
397
00:20:55,671 --> 00:20:57,089
I'm not mopey. I'm just...
398
00:20:58,465 --> 00:21:01,343
happy that we're gonna be together
forever and ever.
399
00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:05,097
And then die. Hopefully, May 1st.
400
00:21:06,765 --> 00:21:08,433
What is even happening here?
401
00:21:09,059 --> 00:21:11,353
Why would you not want to be with me?
402
00:21:11,436 --> 00:21:14,273
The guys I date
are so much hotter than you.
403
00:21:14,898 --> 00:21:18,151
Like, muscly firemen, restaurant managers,
404
00:21:18,235 --> 00:21:20,654
trust fund guys with really nice wallets.
405
00:21:21,863 --> 00:21:23,073
You're so mad.
406
00:21:24,825 --> 00:21:26,034
Is it happening?
407
00:21:27,202 --> 00:21:29,538
You know what? I'm leaving.
408
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:34,710
How can I not be good enough for you?
409
00:21:34,793 --> 00:21:38,005
You keep a whoopee cushion
in your glove compartment for emergencies.
410
00:21:38,088 --> 00:21:39,548
It's not about you.
411
00:21:39,631 --> 00:21:41,883
That's worse!
Everything should be about me!
412
00:21:41,967 --> 00:21:44,511
You don't get it.
I'm still in love with Nikki. Okay?
413
00:21:55,105 --> 00:21:55,939
Fozzie!
414
00:21:56,440 --> 00:22:00,068
Man, we followed two different kids
home from the movie theater.
415
00:22:00,152 --> 00:22:02,612
Let me tell you.
They were less chill than you guys.
416
00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:07,367
There's a weird vibe in here.
417
00:22:08,618 --> 00:22:11,455
And most of it's coming from... you.
418
00:22:12,706 --> 00:22:14,708
[warbling rock riff plays]
419
00:22:17,794 --> 00:22:18,670
Yeah.
420
00:22:18,754 --> 00:22:20,547
[chuckling] You're doing great.
421
00:22:20,630 --> 00:22:24,634
After you took out that stoplight,
you started to get the hang of it.
422
00:22:25,385 --> 00:22:29,765
-Maybe I'll be like you and drive a truck.
-I take a lot of showers in truck stops.
423
00:22:29,848 --> 00:22:31,475
Maybe I'll keep my options open.
424
00:22:32,225 --> 00:22:33,268
[chuckles]
425
00:22:33,352 --> 00:22:34,603
We're doing the thing.
426
00:22:35,729 --> 00:22:37,981
["War" by Edwin Star playing on stereo]
427
00:22:38,065 --> 00:22:40,859
-♪ I said war! ♪
-♪ Huh! ♪
428
00:22:40,942 --> 00:22:42,277
-♪ Good God ♪
-♪ Y'all! ♪
429
00:22:42,361 --> 00:22:44,071
♪ What is it good for? ♪
430
00:22:44,154 --> 00:22:45,906
♪ Absolutely nothing! ♪
431
00:22:45,989 --> 00:22:47,991
-♪ Sing it again, Gwen! ♪
-♪ War! ♪
432
00:22:48,075 --> 00:22:48,950
Hey!
433
00:22:49,451 --> 00:22:51,286
[vocalizing] ♪ Whoa ♪
434
00:22:51,870 --> 00:22:53,121
♪ ...is it good for? ♪
435
00:22:53,205 --> 00:22:54,706
-♪ Absolutely... ♪
-♪ Nothing! ♪
436
00:22:54,790 --> 00:22:56,375
♪ Ten and two, girl! ♪
437
00:22:56,458 --> 00:22:57,834
♪ War! ♪
438
00:22:57,918 --> 00:22:59,378
♪ Hey, yeah! ♪
439
00:22:59,461 --> 00:23:01,004
["War" continues playing]
440
00:23:01,088 --> 00:23:04,633
♪ War is an enemy to all mankind ♪
441
00:23:05,550 --> 00:23:09,012
♪ The thought of war blows my mind ♪
442
00:23:09,596 --> 00:23:14,017
♪ War has caused unrest
Within the younger generation ♪
443
00:23:14,101 --> 00:23:16,019
♪ Induction then destruction ♪
444
00:23:16,103 --> 00:23:17,479
♪ Who wants to die? ♪
445
00:23:17,562 --> 00:23:18,647
[vocalizing]
446
00:23:18,730 --> 00:23:21,066
♪ War! Good God, y'all ♪
447
00:23:22,109 --> 00:23:24,027
♪ What is it good for? ♪
448
00:23:24,111 --> 00:23:25,529
-♪ Absolutely ♪
-♪ Nothing ♪
449
00:23:25,612 --> 00:23:27,531
♪ Say it, say it, say it ♪
450
00:23:27,614 --> 00:23:28,657
♪ War, huh! ♪
451
00:23:28,740 --> 00:23:30,325
♪ Uh-huh, yeah, huh ♪
452
00:23:30,867 --> 00:23:32,786
♪ What is it good for? ♪
453
00:23:32,869 --> 00:23:34,663
-♪ Absolutely ♪
-♪ Nothing ♪
454
00:23:34,746 --> 00:23:35,622
♪ Listen to me ♪
455
00:23:36,123 --> 00:23:39,042
-♪ War ♪
-♪ It ain't nothing but a heartbreak ♪
456
00:23:39,126 --> 00:23:40,043
{\an8}[song fades out]
35266
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof