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1
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,924
[rock riff plays]
2
00:00:08,466 --> 00:00:10,635
This fight between the guys is really bad.
3
00:00:10,719 --> 00:00:13,972
Yeah, Jay came by and returned
the snow cone machine Nate got him.
4
00:00:14,055 --> 00:00:15,765
And where he put the snow cone juice?
5
00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:18,601
Let's say the only flavor
it makes now is yellow.
6
00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:23,523
This is why I only get snow cones
from an authorized dealer.
7
00:00:24,774 --> 00:00:27,402
Know how many times
those two Dutch-ovened me in their van
8
00:00:27,485 --> 00:00:29,112
until I gave them money for gas?
9
00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:31,489
Once a week.
10
00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:34,075
And twice on my birthday.
11
00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:38,455
-They are on their own.
-Well, I need them to make up soon.
12
00:00:38,538 --> 00:00:43,043
Now that Jay doesn't have his bro around,
he's turned me into his substitute Nate.
13
00:00:45,253 --> 00:00:46,671
[shouts] Not in my house!
14
00:00:47,630 --> 00:00:48,923
Whoo!
15
00:00:50,425 --> 00:00:52,510
-Hey, can I get some of that?
-Sure.
16
00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:57,557
Dude!
17
00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:00,727
This is mine now.
18
00:01:01,811 --> 00:01:05,273
Leia, look. I'm Ace Ventura.
19
00:01:05,356 --> 00:01:12,155
"Excuse me!
I'd like to ass-k you a few questions."
20
00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:14,616
You talked to his butt?
21
00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:18,328
It said something
really sweet to me last night.
22
00:01:18,870 --> 00:01:20,205
It's very confusing.
23
00:01:21,206 --> 00:01:23,958
Leia, there's two dogs humping,
and they're different sizes.
24
00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:26,044
The smaller one is on top.
25
00:01:28,129 --> 00:01:29,047
Just like them.
26
00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:34,844
-[theme music plays]
-Come on, you're gonna miss it.
27
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:36,721
{\an8}♪ Hanging out down the street ♪
28
00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:38,765
{\an8}♪ The same old thing we did last week ♪
29
00:01:38,848 --> 00:01:41,017
{\an8}♪ Not a thing to do ♪
30
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:43,186
{\an8}♪ But talk to you ♪
31
00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:45,605
{\an8}♪ We're all all right
We're all all right ♪
32
00:01:46,314 --> 00:01:48,316
{\an8}Hello, Wisconsin!
33
00:01:48,817 --> 00:01:50,568
What are you studying for?
34
00:01:50,652 --> 00:01:53,071
Did I forget to sign
the kids up for school again?
35
00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:55,615
{\an8}I'm dating this new guy, Theo,
36
00:01:55,698 --> 00:01:58,409
{\an8}so I'm writing questions for him
to make sure we're on the same page.
37
00:01:58,493 --> 00:02:00,370
{\an8}Oh, That is a good idea.
38
00:02:00,453 --> 00:02:02,872
{\an8}Get all the information up front.
39
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:05,917
{\an8}My friend Evelyn married
a devil worshiper.
40
00:02:07,001 --> 00:02:09,546
{\an8}Remember that guy, Red?
He was at the Johnsons' party.
41
00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:12,799
{\an8}He made that pentagram
out of the pool noodles.
42
00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:17,470
{\an8}I remember 20 minutes ago
43
00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:21,599
{\an8}when I was sitting here,
reading the paper, by myself.
44
00:02:22,392 --> 00:02:24,519
{\an8}Ahh, those were the days.
45
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:29,107
{\an8}New boyfriend already?
I'm so happy for you, Nikki.
46
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:31,317
{\an8}No, I'm not.
47
00:02:32,443 --> 00:02:35,029
{\an8}What happened to that guy
you made out with at the wrestling thing?
48
00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:37,991
{\an8}He gave me his number
on the back of a Dairy Queen coupon.
49
00:02:38,074 --> 00:02:39,784
{\an8}But it's gone now.
50
00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:43,997
{\an8}Because my mother treats her depression
with Peanut Buster Parfaits.
51
00:02:49,127 --> 00:02:50,461
{\an8}-Ms. Runck.
-Yeah?
52
00:02:50,545 --> 00:02:53,464
{\an8}-You enjoy the company of a random guy.
-I do.
53
00:02:55,341 --> 00:02:57,760
{\an8}Have you ever wanted to find one after?
54
00:02:57,844 --> 00:03:00,680
{\an8}I tried once, and I ended up on Cops.
55
00:03:01,681 --> 00:03:05,268
{\an8}They blurred out my face, but you can see
my C-section scar plain as day.
56
00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:09,022
{\an8}Oh... I thought that was you.
57
00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:12,275
{\an8}Ozzie.
58
00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:15,570
{\an8}Have you ever heard of missed connections?
59
00:03:16,070 --> 00:03:17,697
{\an8}It is my favorite.
60
00:03:17,780 --> 00:03:19,824
{\an8}People place ads in the paper
61
00:03:19,908 --> 00:03:23,244
{\an8}with whatever information they have
to try and find each other.
62
00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:26,873
{\an8}Oh.
63
00:03:26,956 --> 00:03:28,541
{\an8}Red. Could I borrow this?
64
00:03:30,126 --> 00:03:33,463
{\an8}Of course. All I was doing was reading it.
65
00:03:33,963 --> 00:03:36,299
{\an8}Why don't you try that new coffee shop?
66
00:03:36,382 --> 00:03:39,510
{\an8}They have everything you love.
The paper, chairs.
67
00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:41,262
{\an8}You'll get a kick out of it.
68
00:03:41,346 --> 00:03:44,182
{\an8}And miss all this? Deal.
69
00:03:46,100 --> 00:03:47,477
{\an8}Okay. Here we go.
70
00:03:47,977 --> 00:03:49,395
{\an8}Missed connections.
71
00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:53,983
{\an8}You should read these.
They are filled with intrigue and romance.
72
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:56,569
{\an8}Mrs. Forman, I don't want to do this.
73
00:03:56,653 --> 00:03:59,322
{\an8}It looks like it's just for weirdos
and sex creeps.
74
00:03:59,405 --> 00:04:01,658
{\an8}Oh no!
75
00:04:02,408 --> 00:04:04,118
{\an8}Here, look at this one.
76
00:04:04,202 --> 00:04:05,995
{\an8}"S&M."
77
00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:10,959
{\an8}"Smart and mature."
That could be you, Ozzie.
78
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:13,753
{\an8}I was with a smart, mature guy once.
79
00:04:13,836 --> 00:04:14,837
{\an8}[chuckles]
80
00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:18,383
{\an8}-Bit off more than I could chew. Yeah.
-Oh! [laughing]
81
00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:20,468
[rock music playing]
82
00:04:21,594 --> 00:04:23,805
{\an8}Those humping dogs
were a real wake-up call.
83
00:04:23,888 --> 00:04:26,933
{\an8}Nate should've been there for that,
so I invited him over.
84
00:04:27,016 --> 00:04:28,851
{\an8}I'm never talking to that guy again.
85
00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:31,187
{\an8}Well, maybe your butt can talk to him.
86
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:33,940
{\an8}My butt's even more mad at him than me.
87
00:04:35,066 --> 00:04:36,359
{\an8}The good part is,
88
00:04:36,442 --> 00:04:40,029
{\an8}you'll be able to see how douchey he is
now that he's with Betsy.
89
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:44,033
{\an8}She got him to wear a wallet chain.
He gets snagged on every doorknob.
90
00:04:45,201 --> 00:04:46,995
-What's up, dorks?
-[Betsy] Oh!
91
00:04:51,332 --> 00:04:53,376
Bro? The hair.
92
00:04:54,002 --> 00:04:55,670
It's good, right? [chuckles]
93
00:04:56,546 --> 00:04:57,672
No!
94
00:04:58,339 --> 00:05:01,467
Every time I see it,
a douchey angel gets its wings.
95
00:05:02,218 --> 00:05:04,012
Don't listen to her, Nate.
96
00:05:04,595 --> 00:05:08,016
Or that bus full of kids
who threw stuff at you on the way here.
97
00:05:08,099 --> 00:05:09,309
Get over here, girl.
98
00:05:11,269 --> 00:05:13,187
You pick out his underwear too?
99
00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:14,814
I actually do.
100
00:05:14,897 --> 00:05:16,524
He wears boxer briefs now.
101
00:05:16,607 --> 00:05:19,902
-Like Marky Mark.
-But they smell like the Funky Bunch.
102
00:05:20,486 --> 00:05:21,612
Burn!
103
00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:27,452
Okay, let's not forget why we're here.
Nate, sit down and talk to your friend.
104
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:30,246
Whatever. I'm tired anyway.
105
00:05:31,247 --> 00:05:34,500
Babe, do you want to tell him
it's from having sex, or should I?
106
00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:36,544
-[Betsy chuckles]
-You're such an idiot.
107
00:05:36,627 --> 00:05:40,048
She doesn't even have to say anything
'cause you already said it.
108
00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:42,884
Why can't you apologize to me already?
109
00:05:42,967 --> 00:05:45,470
After all the crap you said? Forget it.
110
00:05:45,553 --> 00:05:48,389
Okay, whatever.
Then you have no reason to be here, then.
111
00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:51,392
-So get off the couch.
-You get off the couch.
112
00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:55,521
No, no, no. I don't want this to turn into
some immature standoff over the couch.
113
00:05:56,230 --> 00:05:57,440
It's not.
114
00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:00,735
[shouts] I'd rather die...
115
00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:05,281
than get off this couch!
116
00:06:06,532 --> 00:06:10,912
Well, I hereby dedicate my life
to sitting on this couch!
117
00:06:11,412 --> 00:06:13,706
Okay, Aunt Lisa.
118
00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:16,584
Yeah. Yeah. You look like my Aunt Lisa.
119
00:06:16,667 --> 00:06:19,337
She's a middle-aged woman
with the exact same haircut.
120
00:06:19,420 --> 00:06:20,838
That's why it's so funny.
121
00:06:21,672 --> 00:06:22,632
Ha.
122
00:06:22,715 --> 00:06:23,883
Joke's on you.
123
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:26,386
I think Aunt Lisa's super hot.
124
00:06:27,678 --> 00:06:31,599
I accidentally grazed her boob...
when I hugged her last Thanksgiving.
125
00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:33,976
That door's always open.
126
00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:35,728
[rock riff plays]
127
00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:42,402
Hey.
128
00:06:43,152 --> 00:06:45,571
You're getting on my last nerve.
129
00:06:58,751 --> 00:06:59,710
That's better.
130
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:03,756
Sir, you can't treat
our valued customers like that.
131
00:07:06,175 --> 00:07:07,427
You're a hero.
132
00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:08,970
I hate him.
133
00:07:09,053 --> 00:07:13,099
When we slept together, he said he was
in Pearl Jam. I always fall for that.
134
00:07:13,182 --> 00:07:17,228
Why don't you just kick him out?
You're the one with the name tag.
135
00:07:17,311 --> 00:07:19,355
I can't. I need this job.
136
00:07:19,897 --> 00:07:21,732
I owe Blockbuster 12 grand.
137
00:07:22,650 --> 00:07:24,944
Return the movies.
138
00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:27,071
But I like them.
139
00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:32,326
I just have to smile and suck it up
with all of these coffee shop dickwads.
140
00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:34,412
I'll tell you what.
141
00:07:34,495 --> 00:07:38,583
You keep this cup full and my chair empty,
142
00:07:39,083 --> 00:07:41,669
I'll handle the dickwads.
143
00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:43,254
Whoa.
144
00:07:43,337 --> 00:07:46,299
-You sound like Clint Eastwood.
-He sounds like me.
145
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:51,762
It's judgment day, bitches.
146
00:07:51,846 --> 00:07:53,681
[rock music playing]
147
00:07:56,184 --> 00:08:00,188
I went ahead and wrote up
a missed connection ad for Ozzie.
148
00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:04,358
-I thought he said he wasn't into this.
-No. I just...
149
00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:07,236
I scratched down a few ideas
in case he changes his mind.
150
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,196
Okay.
151
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:15,119
"I was the ruggedly handsome Asian teen
at the wrestling convention."
152
00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:18,080
"Facial hair a mere months away."
153
00:08:19,415 --> 00:08:22,293
"Your face was gold. Our lips touched."
154
00:08:22,793 --> 00:08:27,965
"And the thought of seeing you again
puts my heart in a headlock."
155
00:08:29,592 --> 00:08:31,594
[laughing silently]
156
00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:36,432
You want to find a missing kid,
put him on a milk carton and move on.
157
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,851
Well, now, where is your sense of romance?
158
00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:40,603
Ah, romance is tricky.
159
00:08:41,103 --> 00:08:44,273
Meg Ryan has an orgasm in a restaurant?
America's sweetheart.
160
00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,776
I do it? Waffle House most wanted.
161
00:08:47,693 --> 00:08:49,237
[rock riff plays]
162
00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:52,782
Leia, what are you doing here?
163
00:08:52,865 --> 00:08:56,953
To talk to you about your...
overall impact on my social circle.
164
00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:58,788
What does that mean?
165
00:08:58,871 --> 00:09:01,499
Can you please
just tell Nate to apologize to Jay?
166
00:09:02,124 --> 00:09:05,962
He listens to everything you say,
and this fight's gone on way too long.
167
00:09:06,045 --> 00:09:08,339
You seem really stressed out.
168
00:09:09,006 --> 00:09:10,967
And a little annoying right now.
169
00:09:12,134 --> 00:09:13,261
You wanna join me?
170
00:09:15,054 --> 00:09:17,848
Okay, but I really wanna
get back to the Nate stuff.
171
00:09:17,932 --> 00:09:18,849
[Betsy] Mm-hm.
172
00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:21,686
Wow, that is the perfect temperature.
173
00:09:21,769 --> 00:09:23,980
And it's bubbly like hot Sprite.
174
00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:29,235
-You've gotten a pedicure before, right?
-[shakily] Yeah, I get them all the time.
175
00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:33,197
Hey, just relax. You're going to love it.
176
00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:34,282
Oh!
177
00:09:34,782 --> 00:09:38,286
If you spread them like that,
buy those piggies a drink first.
178
00:09:39,537 --> 00:09:42,790
Leia, stop worrying about Nate and Jay.
179
00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:44,584
Men are gonna be men.
180
00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:46,794
While they're down there
wrestling in the mud,
181
00:09:46,877 --> 00:09:48,671
you and I can have a great day together.
182
00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:49,964
I could use that.
183
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:53,968
Jay pantsed me in the park yesterday
in front of the ducks.
184
00:09:54,802 --> 00:09:57,722
[rock scales ascending]
185
00:09:58,514 --> 00:10:02,059
One coffee, two people.
You're out of here.
186
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:07,440
Oh! That is nice.
187
00:10:07,523 --> 00:10:09,400
That could be in a museum.
188
00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:13,446
This is not a museum.
189
00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:15,239
Get out.
190
00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:20,244
-You're so scary. You remind me of my dad.
-Mm.
191
00:10:21,037 --> 00:10:23,289
Can you roll a cigarette
with my report card?
192
00:10:24,415 --> 00:10:25,625
No.
193
00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:27,126
Just like him.
194
00:10:28,711 --> 00:10:32,214
I just came out of a long relationship,
and there were warning signs I missed.
195
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:34,425
So I'm going to ask you
a series of questions
196
00:10:34,508 --> 00:10:36,135
to evaluate our dating potential.
197
00:10:36,218 --> 00:10:37,553
Okay, sounds good.
198
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:40,097
I'd like to get your reaction
to the word "balls."
199
00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:42,391
What kind of balls?
200
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:45,478
Baseballs or like a formal ball
where you get dressed up?
201
00:10:46,604 --> 00:10:47,438
Incredible.
202
00:10:48,564 --> 00:10:49,774
Okay, next question.
203
00:10:50,274 --> 00:10:52,777
And this one's really hard.
204
00:10:54,862 --> 00:10:56,947
Do you feel the need to high five?
205
00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:01,911
You haven't asked the question yet.
I don't know if I got it right.
206
00:11:02,953 --> 00:11:03,913
Oh, you did.
207
00:11:05,414 --> 00:11:08,084
What do you think of
when I say Sigourney Weaver?
208
00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:10,294
I think she has amazing range,
209
00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:13,589
and she's the archetype
for female protagonists in sci-fi horror.
210
00:11:14,256 --> 00:11:15,925
So not her bush in Alien.
211
00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:18,344
You know,
maybe I should ask you some questions.
212
00:11:18,427 --> 00:11:19,804
[chuckles softly]
213
00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:25,267
Morgan, when did we start
using McDonald's cups?
214
00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:29,647
I think they only have
McDonald's cups at McDonald's.
215
00:11:30,272 --> 00:11:31,107
Get 'em.
216
00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:33,651
Door.
217
00:11:34,276 --> 00:11:36,737
Mr. Forman, it's me, Nikki.
218
00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:40,408
-I had lunch at your house today.
-I've never seen before you in my life.
219
00:11:41,409 --> 00:11:43,411
Get along, little stranger.
220
00:11:43,494 --> 00:11:45,705
[rock riff plays]
221
00:11:46,664 --> 00:11:48,124
[knocking at door]
222
00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:49,917
Yes. Pizza's here.
223
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,919
I'm starving. Come in.
224
00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:54,547
Pizza guys don't just come in.
225
00:11:55,589 --> 00:11:57,550
Even in a porn, someone opens the door.
226
00:11:58,759 --> 00:12:01,303
I'm not getting up, but... I got this.
227
00:12:02,012 --> 00:12:04,515
This isn't a porn,
so you can just come in.
228
00:12:05,641 --> 00:12:06,892
Dude, that sounded weird.
229
00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:09,478
-You're gonna scare him.
-I am not gonna scare him.
230
00:12:10,604 --> 00:12:12,606
Nothing weird is gonna happen.
231
00:12:12,690 --> 00:12:15,985
We're just two guys
sitting in the dark waiting for you.
232
00:12:17,653 --> 00:12:19,280
And we have cash.
233
00:12:19,363 --> 00:12:20,656
[footsteps retreating]
234
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,783
Come back. We'll do whatever you want.
235
00:12:23,492 --> 00:12:25,619
Everything you say is out of a porn.
236
00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:26,579
[grunts]
237
00:12:28,956 --> 00:12:30,958
[footsteps approaching]
238
00:12:32,209 --> 00:12:33,586
Gwen. Yes!
239
00:12:33,669 --> 00:12:34,545
You saved us.
240
00:12:34,628 --> 00:12:36,172
Who wants pizza?
241
00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:37,965
-Me! Me!
-Yes. Give me a slice.
242
00:12:38,549 --> 00:12:40,760
Please, give me a slice. Please.
243
00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:43,846
What are you doing?
244
00:12:43,929 --> 00:12:46,557
Yeah. You have to get up
off the couch and get it.
245
00:12:47,558 --> 00:12:48,976
What in the actual hell?
246
00:12:49,059 --> 00:12:51,228
Pizza is for sharing.
247
00:12:52,396 --> 00:12:53,314
Mm.
248
00:12:53,397 --> 00:12:57,067
Pizza. You got the crust, the cheese...
249
00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:01,197
This is the meanest thing
you have ever done, Gwen.
250
00:13:01,697 --> 00:13:04,742
Just end this right now
and have a pizza party with your friend.
251
00:13:05,743 --> 00:13:07,161
He is not my friend.
252
00:13:08,078 --> 00:13:08,996
Okay, fine.
253
00:13:09,747 --> 00:13:11,749
-I'm good to go all night.
-Mm.
254
00:13:12,249 --> 00:13:14,210
You sound just like your sister.
255
00:13:17,713 --> 00:13:20,007
Oh, hey! Oh! Watch the hair! It's crispy!
256
00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:21,467
It's crispy!
257
00:13:22,176 --> 00:13:24,178
[rock music plays]
258
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:27,264
I know you told me not to,
259
00:13:27,348 --> 00:13:30,851
but I put an ad in the paper
looking for your guy.
260
00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:31,769
What?
261
00:13:33,270 --> 00:13:34,730
I... I never agreed to that.
262
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:36,941
It... It looks desperate and cheap.
263
00:13:37,024 --> 00:13:38,609
-[doorbell rings]
-That's him.
264
00:13:38,692 --> 00:13:40,778
-My Golden Girl, I could kiss you.
-Oh!
265
00:13:42,446 --> 00:13:43,447
Wait.
266
00:13:44,114 --> 00:13:44,949
I'm nervous.
267
00:13:45,032 --> 00:13:46,826
No, no. Don't be. Don't be.
268
00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:48,035
Welcome to love.
269
00:13:48,118 --> 00:13:49,829
It's grand. It's glorious.
270
00:13:49,912 --> 00:13:51,997
It's taking forever.
Let him open the door.
271
00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:57,336
-Hey.
-Eww. No.
272
00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:02,091
Not him.
273
00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:03,634
Are you sure?
274
00:14:04,802 --> 00:14:07,763
-Did you look at him?
-This is Wisconsin.
275
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:10,599
Chances are, the one you're looking for
is dumpier than that one.
276
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:11,851
What are we doing here?
277
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:12,810
No, no.
278
00:14:12,893 --> 00:14:15,187
You can't call a whole state dumpy.
279
00:14:16,063 --> 00:14:18,274
Unless you're talking about South Dakota.
280
00:14:19,650 --> 00:14:22,528
I couldn't tell the people from the bears.
281
00:14:22,611 --> 00:14:23,529
[rock riff plays]
282
00:14:25,364 --> 00:14:27,658
[panting hoarsely]
283
00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:29,326
You okay?
284
00:14:29,910 --> 00:14:30,995
That was fun.
285
00:14:31,495 --> 00:14:34,206
I get why you like jogging,
and I like it too.
286
00:14:35,249 --> 00:14:39,044
You wanna come in and have some breakfast,
and then you can tell Nate to apologize?
287
00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:42,464
-Uh... Nah.
-But you told me you would.
288
00:14:43,048 --> 00:14:46,135
[scoffs] I'm not getting involved
in some dumb basement drama.
289
00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:51,307
But your brother's not talking
to his best friend because of you.
290
00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:53,142
-Don't you care?
-No.
291
00:14:55,519 --> 00:14:57,187
Oh. Should I say more?
292
00:14:58,272 --> 00:15:00,316
I'm in a good situation here.
293
00:15:00,399 --> 00:15:03,777
Nate follows me around,
does whatever I say.
294
00:15:04,278 --> 00:15:06,113
Plus, I like watching boys fight.
295
00:15:06,780 --> 00:15:08,532
One of them's your brother.
296
00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:09,742
One of them's not.
297
00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:15,039
Oh my God. You're a monster.
Get off my grandparents' driveway.
298
00:15:15,122 --> 00:15:17,583
[sarcastic] Oh no. I can't be
in your grandparents' driveway.
299
00:15:19,126 --> 00:15:22,671
I lied before. Jogging sucks,
and you're weird for liking it.
300
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:23,756
[rock riff plays]
301
00:15:24,715 --> 00:15:26,091
So this is my life now.
302
00:15:26,175 --> 00:15:28,552
I'm single, and I'm a pedicure lady.
303
00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:32,389
Well, I thought this might
make you feel better.
304
00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:35,100
Oh! They even give you a little massage.
305
00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:36,977
The massage is eight dollars extra.
306
00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:39,563
Now, you just enjoy your regular pedicure.
307
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,858
I didn't have one until I was in my 30s.
308
00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:46,445
I don't have to explain myself to you.
309
00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:52,201
-Isaac!
-Hey, Ozzie.
310
00:15:52,284 --> 00:15:53,702
Surprise!
311
00:15:54,703 --> 00:15:56,413
I made all this happen.
312
00:15:56,914 --> 00:15:58,749
"But it won't work!" That's you.
313
00:15:58,832 --> 00:16:00,709
"But it will!" That's me.
314
00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:01,752
And it did.
315
00:16:03,170 --> 00:16:05,214
-Thought I'd never see you again.
-Me too.
316
00:16:05,297 --> 00:16:08,634
I went to two other
wrestling conventions hoping to find you.
317
00:16:08,717 --> 00:16:11,470
And a boat show,
but that was 'cause I got the days wrong.
318
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,890
-Wanna go walk around the mall?
-I can't.
319
00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:18,519
I have to hang with my friend's grandma
and her horny neighbor.
320
00:16:19,311 --> 00:16:20,604
Of course I want to go!
321
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:26,110
[mouthing] Thank you.
322
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:33,117
That was so romantic.
323
00:16:34,284 --> 00:16:36,620
I got to live vicariously
through those kids.
324
00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:42,334
It reminds me of when I first met Red,
and I hadn't heard any of his stories yet.
325
00:16:43,794 --> 00:16:46,171
That's cool you can remember
that long ago.
326
00:16:46,672 --> 00:16:49,216
This thing goes back to 1988 tops.
327
00:16:49,299 --> 00:16:51,301
[rock music playing]
328
00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:01,562
-[clangs]
-Bear attack! Get big!
329
00:17:01,645 --> 00:17:03,272
[both shouting]
330
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:08,152
Have you ever been attacked by a bear?
331
00:17:08,235 --> 00:17:09,069
No.
332
00:17:09,778 --> 00:17:11,113
100% success rate.
333
00:17:12,656 --> 00:17:15,868
You guys seriously spent
the whole night on this couch?
334
00:17:15,951 --> 00:17:18,662
This fight is so stupid.
We are ending it now.
335
00:17:18,746 --> 00:17:20,164
[rock riff plays]
336
00:17:20,247 --> 00:17:21,874
What even is anger?
337
00:17:26,003 --> 00:17:28,964
I get it with the Hulk. It's his job.
He gets paid for it.
338
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:31,675
But... I've been doing it for free.
339
00:17:31,759 --> 00:17:32,760
Like some chump.
340
00:17:34,136 --> 00:17:35,846
Somebody owes me some money.
341
00:17:37,848 --> 00:17:40,225
There I go. Giving it away for free.
342
00:17:41,685 --> 00:17:44,646
You know, I don't like
feeling all this... negativity.
343
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,485
Oreo never feels this way.
344
00:17:50,110 --> 00:17:51,528
Oreo's always happy.
345
00:17:52,029 --> 00:17:57,576
Even when I split him in half
and lick out his guts and eat his body.
346
00:17:57,659 --> 00:17:58,744
[chuckles softly]
347
00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:01,121
He never gets mad.
348
00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:05,042
'Cause he knows
his friends are coming soon.
349
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:09,797
You're gonna make me barf.
350
00:18:10,464 --> 00:18:11,632
And I miss that.
351
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:16,929
See, this is the real you.
Not Betsy's little bitch boy.
352
00:18:18,555 --> 00:18:23,102
Dude, if you really care about her
and want to be with her,
353
00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:25,187
I'll back off.
354
00:18:26,855 --> 00:18:27,689
Yeah, bro.
355
00:18:28,732 --> 00:18:29,566
Me too.
356
00:18:31,819 --> 00:18:32,820
I don't know.
357
00:18:34,238 --> 00:18:38,033
I feel completely... lost right now.
358
00:18:39,034 --> 00:18:40,369
Guys, can I be honest?
359
00:18:41,245 --> 00:18:43,247
I'm not even sure about this hair.
360
00:18:46,708 --> 00:18:48,335
Of course you're lost, man.
361
00:18:48,836 --> 00:18:50,295
And it's gonna be like that
362
00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:53,382
until you deal with the fact
that you still love Nikki.
363
00:18:55,300 --> 00:18:56,385
Whoa.
364
00:18:57,010 --> 00:18:59,096
That explains literally everything.
365
00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:02,933
This is why you've been singing
"Kiss from a Rose" while on the can.
366
00:19:04,226 --> 00:19:05,060
Yeah.
367
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:08,772
I've been trying so hard to... move on.
368
00:19:09,523 --> 00:19:12,109
Your sister's boobs have been
a fun distraction.
369
00:19:13,902 --> 00:19:16,321
Every time I think I'm over Nik,
370
00:19:17,406 --> 00:19:18,282
I'm not.
371
00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:23,662
And I shouldn't be making
my problems your problems.
372
00:19:24,705 --> 00:19:25,873
I'm so sorry, dude.
373
00:19:26,707 --> 00:19:27,541
Hey.
374
00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:29,835
It's not all on you, man.
375
00:19:30,335 --> 00:19:33,589
I could have been chiller.
I could have been doper.
376
00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:35,507
I could have been radder.
377
00:19:37,467 --> 00:19:38,719
Mad regrets.
378
00:19:40,762 --> 00:19:41,597
Reunited.
379
00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:46,435
[both] By the power of Grayskull.
380
00:19:48,353 --> 00:19:50,063
I already regret fixing this.
381
00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:53,734
Oreo,
382
00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:56,445
we need to break up with Betsy.
383
00:19:57,321 --> 00:19:58,405
Tell your friends.
384
00:20:00,365 --> 00:20:03,243
This is my house. You don't call me?
385
00:20:04,953 --> 00:20:07,164
There's something
seriously wrong with Betsy.
386
00:20:07,247 --> 00:20:11,376
Nate, you're not ready to hear this,
but you have to break up with her.
387
00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:13,921
Yeah, we talked about that.
388
00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:18,050
[Nate] And I ass-ked him
to be my friend again.
389
00:20:18,675 --> 00:20:21,553
[Jay] And I ass-cepted.
390
00:20:22,679 --> 00:20:25,724
-[both laughing]
-[rock music playing]
391
00:20:31,188 --> 00:20:34,775
I am so sorry for your loss.
392
00:20:35,525 --> 00:20:40,989
But, you know,
those are napkins, not tissues.
393
00:20:42,157 --> 00:20:43,408
There's the door.
394
00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:46,703
Thank you.
395
00:20:46,787 --> 00:20:49,206
Hey, man, you did too good of a job.
396
00:20:49,289 --> 00:20:52,084
-There's no one left.
-But isn't that what we wanted?
397
00:20:52,167 --> 00:20:55,587
I mean, there's not a dickwad in sight.
398
00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:59,466
Yeah, but the problem is
I don't make any money if it's empty.
399
00:20:59,549 --> 00:21:01,301
So, you gotta go.
400
00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:04,471
I should probably head home anyway.
See you tomorrow.
401
00:21:04,554 --> 00:21:06,765
-No, I'm saying that you...
-Have a good night.
402
00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:08,976
Oh! No, no, no.
403
00:21:09,059 --> 00:21:12,646
We are not coming in here with that shirt.
404
00:21:12,729 --> 00:21:14,731
Let's go. Quick march. Quick march.
405
00:21:14,815 --> 00:21:15,983
Hup, hup, hup.
406
00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:18,986
[closing theme music playing]
30466
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