All language subtitles for Episode 08 - What a Tangled Web

Hey, what's the matter,
Sid? Walking all over

my floor. What do you want us to do, fly?

I've just washed it.

Hey, not look very clean to me.

No, it won't. Not when
you're not traveling all over it.

Come along, you three, back to your
desks. Come on. I'll be with you in a minute.

Get on. Hey, where you go?

If you must know, I'm going
to see a man about a dog.

In you go. Right.

Ah, sorry.

Oh!

Good I told you to wash this door.

You did, but... But do it
immediately, as it's graceful.

Hi, everyone back.

I must say, it's nice to see you
all working hard for a change.

Si, Senor Brown. We
study for our eggs and ham.

Eggs and ham?

Si. In few weeks, we have eggs and ham.

The word is exam.

Ah, sorry, rock number.

Excuse me, Mr Brown. Yes, Miss Courtney.

I am extremely worried about
the forthcoming examinations,

particularly so far as your
English class is concerned.

Another failure would be unthinkable.

Oh, don't worry, Miss Courtney.
This time we will sail through.

You heard better. However,
in order to reassure myself,

I am visiting each class in
order to check on its progress.

I am just on my way to the woodwork class,

but I shall be back in a few moments
to give your students an oral test.

And I do expect some correct answers.

We'll do our best.

I just hope your best is good enough.

Do not worry, Viv, you'll
be surprising Miss Courtney.

Well, that's exactly why I'm worried.

Por favor.

Yes, one.

Eh, did you buy the dog?

What dog?

The one you go see man about.

I went to spend a penny.

Ah, very cheap dog.

All right. Now, I've
checked your homework last night,

and you're still making
far too many elementary

mistakes. For example, Ali. Yes, please.

The letters O-H-M-S stand for On Her
Majesty's Service, and not for Only Hindus,

Muslims and Sikhs. Jolly good.

Finally, a sex step has
absolutely nothing to do with orgies.

You're wrong.

You're wrong.

I beg your pardon?

See, last week I see a
film, Swedish sextet.

Well, never mind what you
saw. A sextet means six people.

See, like in the film.

There were six big Swedish girls
with the big... Yeah, don't argue.

Just look it up in the
dictionary and write it out ten times.

Right, right.

Sully, to complete the phrase as wise as,

you could have put an owl or even
Solomon, but not Chairman Marr.

Well, that's your opinion.
Anna, a sorcerer is a wizard,

and not something you put a cup on.

Danielle,
congratulations. Absolutely perfect.

Thank you. But what about my homework?

I was referring to your homework.

Giovanni, the correct word to
describe a relative by marriage is in-law,

as in brother-in-law, and
not, as you put, out-law.

It's the same thing. It
is not the same thing. An

outlaw is a bandit. Well,
so is my brother-in-law.

Yes, well, I hope you find Miss
Courtney's questions as amusing.

She'll be here any
minute. Don't interrupt.

I tend to tolerate
your frivolous attitude,

but you'll find that Miss Courtney
is a horse of a different colour.

Oh, blimey.

You should not be
calling Miss Courtney a horse.

I wasn't, although there
may be a certain resemblance.

Mr. Brown, please.

Just a minute, Daniel. I haven't
finished yet. As I was saying,

Miss Courtney will not be as
tolerant as I, but on the other hand,

you mustn't let her
intimidate you. She may

be a bit of an ogre, but she's only human.

Excuse me, Mr. Brown. Why are
you constantly interrupting me?

I think they are trying to indicate...
Ah, Miss Courtney, I didn't hear you come in.

Obviously. How long have
you been here? Long enough.

And now, Mr Brown, if you don't
mind, this horse of a different colour,

this human ogre, would like to find
out how clever your students are.

Yeah, well, certainly. They're all yours.

Now, who would like to be first?

Well, don't all rush to volunteer.
Oh, very well. I will ask a question,

and anyone who wishes may answer.

Now, then.

What is a circumflex?

Oh, come along. Circumflex.

C-I-R-C-U-M-F-L-U-X. Surely
somebody knows what a circumflex is?

Yes, please.

What is it?

No milk today.

I beg your pardon.

So sorry.

Circumflex is an accent mark.

Would you bring me that
piece of paper, please?

Which piece of paper?

The piece you are hiding in your hand.

You are meaning this one?

Thank you.

Mr. Brown?

Mr. Brown. Yes?

Would you wait in the corridor until
I have finished with your students?

Well, I... Good, and
shut the door after you.

Oh, and Mr. Brown. Yes?

You might as well take this. You may
need it for your milkman. Now, to continue.

I am a foreigner. Right. You are English.

Let us imagine that I am a foreigner.

Please, Miss Courtney,
what kind of foreigner

are you being? Does it matter? Oh, yes.

How can we be imagined when we
are not know what to be imagined?

Oh, very well. I am Russian.

And if anyone says, well, am I
Russian too, I shall scream.

Now, Miss Schmidt. Yeah.

I approach you in the street and I
say, please will you tell me the time?

What is your reply?

Time you bought yourself a watch.

That is extremely rude.
I do not like Russians.

Let's try it with some general knowledge.

Mr. Singh, where is Sydney?

Outside, cleaning the corridor.

Not the caretaker, the city.

Thousand apologies.

Anybody? Australia.

Good.

Mr. Nakazumi.

Ah, so? What can you tell me
about the Duke of Windsor?

Which one?

There is only one Duke of Windsor.

Not so.

Near where I live, there
are three Duke of Windsor,

two Dukes of Cambridge,
and one Prince of Wales.

I was referring to the
person, not a public house.

Does anyone know what the letters GC mean?

Giovanni Cupello.

George Cross.

What class is he in?

I don't think I can stand anymore.

Mr. Brown.

Finished already? I am leaving while
I still retain some shred of sanity.

Well, you obviously didn't
give her very good answers.

Not our fault. The
questions were too difficult.

Well, you just have to work harder,
right? It's almost time to go now.

Don't forget your homework,
please. See you tomorrow.

Oh, God, not again!

Haven't you finished
yet, Sidney? I've washed it

twice. Well, wash it
again. It's still dirty.

Time to go home, Ernie.

Oh, blimey. I'm not wanting
to go. What's the matter?

Can I be speaking to you most
confidentially? Yes, of course you can.

Hire away.

What's your problem?

You see, my wife, Rihanna, she's
becoming another person. Oh, dear.

Have you tried hormones?

What are you meaning?

I don't know much about these sex changes.

Oh, no, she's not
doing anything like that.

No, but you just said she
was becoming another person.

Yes, she's becoming another lady
person, not man person. Oh, I see.

You mean she's behaving differently.

Yes, please. She's making phone
calls, and when I am coming in,

she's hanging up chop-chop.

And at night times, she's going out,
leaving me in the house with the baby.

Ah, I'm beginning to see daylight.

Of course, it is not being dark yet.

Now, you have just had a baby.

No, my wife had the baby.

But that's it, don't you see? Lots of
women change after they've had babies.

It's called post-natal
depression. I'm sure she'll get over it.

Some night, she's not
letting me sleep with her.

Have you thought about getting an au pair?

Oh, blimey.

She would not be letting
me sleep with an au pair.

I need to help with the baby.

Sorry, please. I also think
she ought to see a doctor.

Oh, no, she's not liking doctors very
much. But she ought to talk to somebody.

Perhaps you could talk to her. Me?

Yes, please. I hardly think I'm qualified.

You must be helping me. All right,

I'll come home with you
tonight and we'll see

what we can do. Jolly
good. All right, yes.

It's probably nothing. Good night,
Sid. Good night, Sid. Good night.

Hello, my beloved.

Baby is fed. Curry is
in oven. I am going out.

Where are you going?

Pleased to be minding your own business.

Eh?

I'm bringing Mr. Brown home.

Hello, Mr. Brown. It is good of
you to be keeping Ali company.

Yeah, well, actually, I came
to... Well, have a nice evening.

Do not be waiting up for me, Ali.

See? See what I am meaning? Where
is she going? What is she doing?

Who is she seeing? Well, you wait here.
I'll follow her and see where she goes.

I cannot be staying late tonight.
I think Ali is getting suspicious.

Santa!

I brought the stop room keys back.

Oh, thank you, Sidney.

If you see Gladys, tell her
she can take my tray. Eh?

Take my tray.

Where to?

Not you, Gladys.

Oh.

Oh, you're wearing a black tie, Sidney.

Yes, I'm in mourning.

28 years to the day it
happened. Oh, dear, the death

of a loved one. No, I
got married. LAUGHTER

You're a real male chauvinist, Pig.
Pardon? Pig. Oh, you've met the wife, have you?

That will do. Sit there.

Just the fella I want.

I want some advice from
a man with experience.

Oh, well, I've been about a bit.
What do you want to know? Well,

I need your help as a
married man. Oh, I'm sorry.

You catch it dark. I'm not
married. You are. Oh, don't remind me.

Look, son, if you're thinking
of taking a plunge, forget it.

It's worse than doing porridge.

Now, what can I give you some
advice on? I've changed my mind.

I don't think you are qualified to
help me. I'll ask Miss Courtney.

Is it time then?

What time are you
referring to? Lesson time.

Oh, no. Rehana is coming to see Mr. Brown.

This is Sid, our chaotic man.

This is Mrs. Nadeem, the
wife of Ali. Very nice, too.

Good morning, Ali. I have been here.

We are making for him a surprise.

It is thank you party for being such
good husband and giving me beautiful baby.

But we are not wanting
him to be finding out. No,

already he is most suspicious with me
going out to arrange everything with Ranjit.

Oh, don't worry. I won't tell a dicky.

Never mind this dicky.

You should not be finding
out. That's what I just said.

When's the surprise?

Tonight.

You are welcome to be
coming if you are wishing.

Oh, charm.

Jamila is making lovely food, and
Gladys is making delicious cakes.

Please, where is Mr. Brown?

He's in Miss Courtney's office.

Good. I must be asking him to be
keeping Ali late after class so

all students can be arriving for
party before he is getting home.

Ah.

While you are seeing Mr. Brown, I go
to be speaking with Gladys. Oh, good,

and you can buy me a nice cup of tea.

See you later, love.

See who that is, Mr. Brown.

What did he tell his wife?

I wonder what she wants?

Are you sure you didn't
tell Ali about her affair?

Positive. I just told him I'd lost her.

Well, perhaps he wants to confide
in you because you are Ali's friend.

Well, couldn't she confide in you?

Certainly not. If it is your
problem, you will deal with it.

I'll leave you alone.

Mr. Rowan will see you now.

Sorry about that. Come in, sit down.

I am wanting to be asking you something.

Before you do, I've got
something to tell you. Please sit down.

I have been waiting.

Firstly, tell me something.

Do you love Ali?

Oh, yes, very much indeed.

Good, good.

Well, what I have to say
is rather delicate, but you

and Ali are both
sensible, intelligent people.

Thank you.

And you've been married
for almost two years now,

and you've now got a lovely little baby.

Yes.

Well, I want you to know that I
understand how these things can happen.

What things?

Well, not babies, but...
Let me put it another way.

When two people have been married for a
while, sometimes familiarity creeps in.

Two people living together,
doing the same things day after day,

seeing the same faces. It's
only natural that occasionally

one of the parties feels
that something is missing,

some excitement, perhaps.

So it's not unusual in these occasions
for one of the parties to meet somebody else,

to try and recapture the
first flush of romance.

Mr Brown... Please, let me finish.

Let me say just one thing.

The vital question you must ask yourself
is whether to likely throw away what you

have already for some passing
infatuation or to rise above it and start afresh.

To err is human and to forgive, divine.

That's all I have to say.

Oh, I see.

Now, what was it you wanted to ask me?

No, it is not important now.

Well, Mr Brown, how did you manage?

Extremely well, I think. Oh,
sorry. I was very tactful,

and I think she got the message.

Are you all right?

It is Mr Brown. He is
telling me something terrible.

What is it?

It is my Ali. He is having
affair with another woman.

Hello, Ranjit.

Good evening, oh most
wise and illustrious one.

Yes, well, I wish I could say
the same about you. Incidentally,

before the other students
arrive, I have something to tell you.

I know everything. That is why I'm
calling you most wise and illustrious.

I mean about what you and
Ali's wife have been up to.

Thousand apologies? Well, I think
it's Ali you should be apologising to.

Why should I be apologising
to Ali? For your behaviour.

After all, she is his
wife. I am knowing that.

That is why we are
keeping it secret from him.

You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

Oh, no. I am very pleased to be doing it.

I bet you are.

I am sure if she's asking you to do
the same, you'd be most happy to apply.

I hardly think...
Please, not to be telling Ali.

Well, I won't. For his
sake, not yours. Good.

We are not wanting him to be
finding out before tonight.

But why tonight? Tonight,
he'll be knowing everything.

Are you going to tell him? No,
he'll be seeing for himself.

Good Lord! It'll be a big
surprise. I think it'll be a big surprise.

You are also coming to the
party tonight. What party?

The one we have been arranging for Ali.

I'm getting a bit confused.

You are saying you are
knowing everything? Yeah, well,

I just realised I don't know quite
as much as I thought I did. Now,

tell me something, Ranji.
Have you been seeing Ali's wife?

Most certainly. To be arranging the
party for him tonight at ten o'clock.

And that's all? Just a party?

Oh. Ha, ha, ha.

Buenas noches, señor Brown.

One.

Si, señor.

This is an English class. When you
arrive here, I expect you to speak English.

No more buenas noches. Good evening.

It's all right.

Good evening, señor Brown.

That's better.

Buenas eras.

No, buenas eras. Speak it in English.

Can't you tell me to speak it in
English, you great Spanish onion? No.

I punch your head in,
you Italian ice cream.

All right, I can do.

Sit down. You tell him, signore.

I'm telling both of you, you sit down.

All right, all right.

And I'll tell you what I told
Juan. This is an English class,

and when you arrive
here, I expect you to speak

English. No more buona sera. Good evening.

Okie, okie. Good.

Buonas veras.

Guten Abend. Bonsoir, Monsieur Brian.

I give up.

Ah, good evening, Jamila.

I have knit for you a scarf.

Oh, very kind of you.

Very patriotic.

Quite long.

It is bestart as pair of sockies,
but I forget to turn round heel,

so I make it little bit more
longer. Well, thank you very much.

I'm sure it'll come in useful.

Ah, good evening, Suey.

Carol.

Good evening. Yes.

Right, now, before we go...
Before we go any further this evening,

the educational
authority are taking some kind

of census and require
these forms for the year.

So it's self-explanatory
if you'd complete them now,

and then if you have any
problems, don't hesitate to ask,

because that's what I'm here for.

I have problems.

Paan, how can you have a problem? You
haven't even looked at your form yet.

No pen.

Right, anybody else got
a pen? Good, right, now,

all you have to do is fill in
your surname, your first name,

your address in England, your
birth, occupation, sex, marital status,

and what subject you're taking.

Excusez. Yes, Giovanni.
I've had a problem with

my first names. Well,
surely you know them.

Sure. Giovanni, Vincenzo, Marco,
Dino, Alberto, Lena. Yeah, all right,

so what's the problem? I
can't get them on the paper!

LAUGHTER Just put as many as you can.

Okey-cokey.

Monsieur Brown, please, I do not know
the name of the hospital where I was born.

You don't have to put the
hospital, just the town.

Just the town?

Have you put the hospital too?

No. Place where born?

Bed.

Finish.

Good.

Direction not so good.

Por favor.

The correct answer to sex
is not at least once a week.

You should put male or female.

Eh, not sex with male.

Only female.

Squeeze, please.

I'm being late. You
almost missed the census.

Rihanna is still being very
mysterious. Oh, look, don't worry.

Everything will be all right.

Tonight at ten o'clock,
all will be revealed.

Are you really sure Ali's
knocking about with another bird?

Yes. Mr. Brown would
not be telling me lies.

Oh, they're all alike, these men.

Doesn't deserve a party like this.

I am being so unhappy. I know
what I would do. What? Kick him out.

Anna is right. He is being
unfaithful. He behave like an animal.

He deserves what he gets.

He does. Hello, my beloved.

Don't you beloved me, you...
What are you doing that for?

You very bad man, you...

Mr. Brown is telling me
you are having a girlfriend.

You damn fool! Why are you
saying that for? I didn't.

You've obviously misunderstood me.

You are nearly breaking up my marriage.

Oh, I am sorry, Harry.

It is you I should be throwing cakey at.

Please, you cannot be
throwing cakey at Mr. Brown.

I will do it.