All language subtitles for The Big C s03e02 Whats Your Story.eng

hey.

You had a fucking affair?

Where did you hear that?

I didn't hear it anywhere.

I read it on dad's blog.
What?

Cancer, heart attacks,
and now an affair?

It's like you guys
are looking for ways

to make my life miserable.
Adam, wait one second.

No, no, no, no.
With all the lectures

and holier-than-thou bullshit,
I'm done listening to you.

You're a fucking hypocrite.
Adam!

Wait one minute.

Check this out!

My latest blog post
got 59 page views.

That's 30 more
than the last one.

Yeah, but your son
is one of them.

He knows about my affair.

He read about it on your blog!

Holy shit, Adam saw the blog?

It's on the Internet, Paul.

Everyone can see it.

Oh, honey, I'm so sorry.

I guess I was thinking about
the people I was writing for,

you know, other adults,

myself, honestly.

I swear,
ever since the operation,

I haven't been thinking
straight.

You know, yesterday
I made myself a cup of tea.

I don't drink tea.

And... and I can't seem
to eat enough bananas.

I mean, what's that all about?

Do you think that they put a...

a baboon heart in me
or something?

Okay, how are we going
to handle this?

How are we going
to explain that to him...

that both his parents
had affairs?

Well, I didn't get
to my affair yet.

Only because yours comes first
chronologically.

I mean, I was going
to get to mine,

but maybe we should skip it.

Why didn't you just skip
all of it?

I'm telling my story, Cath.

I mean, you know,

it's incredibly cathartic
for me.

People seem to like hearing
about it.

You know, how I saw the light
and the details

of my near-death experience,

and I can't really do that
without explaining

about what came before.

You know,
like your cancer and...

and your Lenny.

Oh, so... so I caused
your heart attack?

No, life did.

And you are part of my life.

And by the way, you know,
there are some very nice things

about you on the blog, sweetie.

Wait.

You haven't been reading
my blog.

So not the time, Paul.

You're right.

Why don't I take down that post?

Yeah, why don't you take down
that blog post?

Hey.

Hey.

Uh, I was just thinking about,
you know,

taking a snowmobile
safety class.

That might be fun.

Don't you have to have

a snowmobile before you
can be safe on one?

Maybe I'll get one.
I don't know.

You're all into
this Africa stuff.

Maybe snowmobiling is
my new hobby.

This ain't no hobby.

This is my culture, bitch.

B.S.A.?
What is that?

Black student association.

The school dropped it
a few years ago

due to lack of interest.

Can you believe that shit?
I'm starting it back up.

Wow, you're really into
this Africa stuff, aren't you?

When you spend all your time

in a school as white
as a Minnesota winter,

it's nice to feel like
you're part of something

with people that get
where you're coming from.

Yeah, well, uh, see you later,
Ababuo.

You're the first person
to call me that

without me having
to kick their ass.

Hey.

How's the job, working man?

It's thankless
and unfulfilling,

but, hey, at least
no one respects me.

What is all this stuff?

You look like
a homeless janitor.

These are the tools
of my trade.

Dry mop, gum scraper,
vomit powder.

Fyi, that's for covering up
the smell,

not making your own
from scratch, and this...

this is just found money.

You know, you'd be amazed
at the perfectly wonderful stuff

people just throw away
around here.

You know, as...
as proud as I am

that you...
that you have a job

and you're enjoying the
disgusting fruits of your labor,

here's the thing.
You have to get a home phone.

Oh, no.
No, no.

No, I'm getting all
of your work calls at my house.

A phone... it's just...
it's a little too

"on the grid" for me, Cath.

- Sean.
- It's a slippery slope.

You know, today I'm getting
a job and a phone.

Tomorrow I'm on the Internet.

Before you know it, I'm...
I'm e-filing my taxes

and tweeting pictures
of my taint

to villagers
in ass-ghanistan.

How about,
as a thank-you

to me for supporting you,
giving you a home,

and getting you a job, you do
a little something for me?

Something like,
oh, I don't know...

Get a phone.

I hate it when you treat me
like an immature child.

If we weren't at school,
I'd fart in your mouth.

Adam.

Adam Jamison,

I'm talking to you.

Is this yours?
Are you...

are you going to a Bible group?
- Serious right now?

I'm thinking about checking out
a Bible group,

and you had sex with a guy
who wasn't dad,

and you're judging me?

Maybe you need to find
a Bible, and you can bone up

on the fifth commandment,
the "honor thy mother" one.

Yeah, and while I'm at it,
I'll highlight the ones

about adultery and lying
for you.

Adam, I'm...

Hey, Mrs. J.

- Oh, hey, Adam.
- What's up?

What's up, man?
Are you coming in, or...

- uh, you know, I was...
I was thinking about it, but...

- oh, yeah.
No, you totally should, man.

It would be good to have another
hockey dude in the group.

Look, I was totally
afraid it was going to be all

"holy spirit, hallelujah,

"praise Jesus," all that shit.
Oh, yeah?

It's actually totally cool.

Awesome, yeah.

Friendly heads-up...
the sandwiches are awesome,

but stay away
from the veggie dip.

This place is lousy
with double-dippers.

So it's like
a veggie and saliva dip?

Totally.
I'm Jesse.

- Adam.
- Come on, guys.

Guys, let's get started.

Hey, everyone.
This is Adam.

Adam, this is everyone.

Hey, what's up?

- What's up, Adam?
- Hey, Adam.

Just caught him double dipping
in the veggie dip.

Ooh.

Nice.

Okay, um, all right.
So, Adam,

what's your story?

Uh, I think everyone
already kind of knows it.

My mom has cancer.

My dad is recovering
from a heart attack.

That and all this school
bullshit, you know?

Sorry.
Oh, no, no.

It's fine, man.
I mean, I have a feeling

that when Jesus was getting
nailed to the cross,

he may have let
a few "motherfuckers" fly.

You know?

But, um, no.
It's good to have you, Adam.

You know, this is just a place
where you can be yourself.

You can share your problems.
You can vent.

You can scream if you want to.

I mean, we all have our own
crazy stuff going on, right?

- Mm-hmm.
- And, uh...

I mean, we're just here
to find our sanity.

You know? Or...
or our higher power

or that calm among the chaos.

So there's just...
there's no judgments.

Sweet.

We do occasionally make fun
of Morgan's hair,

but, I mean, besides that,

nothing.

Get in there.

Where the hell
did that come from?

Oh, there's a storage closet

at the school
full of this crap.

Cathy wants me on the grid,

I will do it my way.

Ah, yes, the sound
of my soul dying a little bit.

Hey, which of these says

"black power"?

Um, well,
they all do actually.

Here, you just, uh...
you just have to learn

how to wrap these the right way.

Come here.
Sit down.

Are you serious right now?

You know how to wrap
an African head scarf?

Yeah, I, uh... I dated
a Nigerian chick in college,

and we made a deal.

If I learned
how to tie her scarf,

she would go full bush,
no trimming.

Ugh, you see,
here's my problem.

No one has this number yet.

Fucking telemarketers.

Hello.

No.
There's no Willy here.

Total pain in the ass.

Hello?

No. No, buddy.
You got the wrong number.

No, this isn't Willy.

- What?
- Suck my cock.

Come on, Willy,
you know you want to.

You got a naughty-ass phone.

Probably just
some stupid kids.

All right, Ababuo,
there you go.

What do you think?

Damn, dude.
This is awesome.

I hope your Nigerian girlfriend
lived up to her end of the deal.

Oh, yeah.

It was like she was smuggling
Diana Ross in her panties.

Ugh.

I want you to tell Adam
that you had an affair.

What?
Why, honey?

I thought we agreed
that it was better

if Adam didn't know
that kind of stuff.

You're the one who brought us
down this road.

He has not spoken to me
since he found out my affair,

and I am tired
of being the bad guy.

He's on his way to school,
so tell him before he leaves.

Adam, your father has something
he wants to tell you.

- Hey, buddy.
- Hey.

Um, here's the deal.

Uh, it was wrong of me to...

Post on my blog
about your mother's affair.

She's angry, and rightfully so.

But we have talked about it,
and we've moved on.

Incidentally, new house rule:

Nothing personal
goes in the blog

without prior family approval.

And...

And she is not the only one
who had an affair.

I cheated too.

Of course.
Of course.

Why not?
Why not?

I know, I know, but it was
a crazy, misguided reaction.

Okay? Sort of a sexual
quid pro quo.

I don't know what all this
sudden honesty is about, okay?

I really don't.

But you want my honesty?

I don't want to know this shit.

- Adam.
- What, mom? What?

Do you wanna hug it out?

Yeah, we should totally
hug it out.

Come here.
Let's hug it out.

Oh, yeah, everything's better.

Everything's better.
I feel great.

I feel great.
Do you guys feel great?

God.

Bring it.

Bring it.

Ha, ha!

Okay.

Let me give you some props,
'cause you are the first woman

who beat me
since Sturgis in 2005.

And that bitch cheated,
I'm telling you.

You just chalk it up
to anger.

It's the steroid
of the common folk.

Yo, Kirby, Alexis' next round

is on me.

Aww.

You know, I bet you'd be good
at arm wrestling.

All that artwork adds an added
element of intimidation.

You like my memoirs?

Oh. Oh, I love that you used
the word "memoirs."

Why do people get tattoos?

Well, I'm not authorized
to speak for people,

but every one I got
before I was 20

was to piss my mother off.

Did it work?

I guess not.
She still calls me every Sunday.

Ooh. Ooh.

Oh, wow, what is that one?

It's supposed to be
a grim reaper,

but the guy I shared
a cell with

was a little light
on proper tattoo supplies,

so it kinda looks like a clown
with a droopy penis.

Oh, you were in prison.

My mother warned me
about guys like you.

Relax. I just robbed
a liquor store.

Oh, see?

That almost makes you
sound soft.

You know, you can get
those things removed now.

Why would I want to do that?

I'm proud of 'em.

It's my story.

Yeah.

I gotta get out of here.

- Where you going?
- I gotta go to school.

School?

Yeah.

Flight school, remember?

Airplane driving.

Yeah, I'm not sure
you're okay to drive.

Oh, no, no, no.
I'm fine.

I'm okay, you know,
'cause I'm...

I'm not driving... I'm not driving
the actual planes.

Just the simulator.

You don't have to be sober
to do that.

Right, but you do have to be
sober to drive a car.

Where you going, Alexis?
I can drop you off.

About a block
away from west hill high.

You know where that is?

Let's ride.

come on, girl.

- So this is it, huh?
- Sure is.

This is your hog?

Oh, she's no hog.

Looks a little tiny
for a big ol' hog.

Well, you know, I like
something that fits snug

under my ass.

All right, you ready?

Yeah. Hang on.

all right, hang on.

Whoo!

Hey, what's up,
my African queen?

Oh, nothing.

I just spent the last two days
bustin' my ass,

hanging up flyers and telling
people about this whole

black student association,

and this is the response I get.

You know, I know that there
aren't a whole lot

of black kids at this school,

but I sure as hell thought
that of the 13 black kids

that do go here,
that at least half of them

would have showed
some goddamn interest.

Total waste of time.

So what,
you're just gonna quit?

After one day?

To me, that kind of laziness
and lack of ambition

just feeds a very overused

and very cliche
black stereotype.

Of course, it's easy
for me to say.

I'm a white man reaping
all the glorious benefits

of a system skewed in my favor.

As-salaam-alaikum.

Oh.

Uh, excuse me.

Ladies, a moment.

Um, yeah, I'm a janitor.

My entire job revolves
around filth and waste,

and I accept that.

But, you know, I have to vent
just for a second.

I love your gender,
but as teenagers,

you disgust me,

with your chipped nail Polish
all over the floor in there,

your tampons jammed
in the toilets.

And although you guys
might think it's cute,

those little lipstick kisses
you leave

on the mirror in there

are a pain
in my minimum-wage ass.

Weirdo.

Attention.

I want to urge
my fellow black students

to join me
in the newly reestablished

black student association.

It's an opportunity...
Miss Jackson!

Step away from that microphone
right now.

Okay, I got the principal
all up in my grill.

But just come and find me.

- Give me that microphone.
- Ugh, come on, people.

Have some pride!

Show this school that we're
more than just...

God damn it, we are the 99%!

But really we're the 5%.

This is why I need you.

5%! 5%!

Tell your story
in detention, Andrea.

It's Ababuo, damn it.

Go.

I want to talk to you.

You might want to talk
to a mirror first.

You look like
a freakin' crazy woman.

Well, look, I don't
give a shit what I look like.

Look, I am tired
of you shutting me out.

Mom.

I had an affair.

It was last summer.
It lasted a few weeks.

It was with Lenny, the painter.

Okay, yeah.
Yeah, that's great.

Feel better?

Maybe when I'm done.

'Cause now that I have
your attention,

I'm gonna tell you everything.

I've done drugs.

When I was 17, I smoked pot
for the very first time.

And when I was 19,
I was arrested

for peeing in a public park.

And I've shoplifted.

There was this great pair
of guess jeans.

They were all the rage.
Mom. Stop!

I got so drunk
at my college orientation

that they had to pump
my stomach,

and that was after...

After my friends,
they found me passed out

in this guy's bedroom,

and I-I... for the life of me,

I could not find my bra,

and that prick,
he gave me scabies.

And I was so stressed out

from having a rash down there

that I missed my period.

I totally thought
I was pregnant.

Just fucking shut up!

I've made mistakes.

I'm gonna make more.

What's going on in here?

All of you are gonna make
a shitload of mistakes too.

It's not fucking funny!

Dude, it's totally funny.

Okay, Adam, we all know
you're going through a lot,

but you need to calm down.

Fuck off, Ingvoll.

You just got detention.

And Mrs. Jamison...

- fuck off, Ingvoll.

What are you doing in here?

Rather not talk about it.

Heard you over the intercom.

You have a lovely
speaking voice.

Shut the fuck up.

Principal Schuler went crazy.

I had to do something.

I have no idea how
to get people interested

in my black student group.

I'll join, if it helps.

I'm pretty sure having
a white kid in the group

would defeat the purpose.

These gentlemen
will be joining you

for the next six weeks.

Oh, hell no.

Look at you fools.

Do you think this is a joke?

This is exactly where
people expect you to be.

Don't be where people
expect you to be.

Miss Jackson.

Miss Schuler, you can give me

another detention or whatever,

but right now,
I need to say some shit.

Now, I posted signs.

I've asked y'all asses nicely.

I even got over the intercom

and screamed it
and got in detention for it.

But I can't get through to you.

So guess what.

We're gonna have
a group meeting right now.

We're practically
a quorum anyway.

So welcome to
the black student association.

And I've changed
the name of the group.

It's a.F.R.O...

africans for rediscovering
ourselves.

Do I have y'all attention?

This is not a meeting.

This is detention.

Sit down, Andrea.

It's Ababuo.

Fist up, fools!

What? Shit. What?

Who the fuck
are you looking for?

Hopefully, you're the fuck
I'm looking for.

Who is this?

Come on, Willy.

Don't act like
you don't remember me.

Uh, well,
could you remind me?

It's me, Damien, silly Willy.

Where have you been?

Your phone number has been
disconnected for weeks.

I can't stand
being Willy-deprived.

And you know I don't pay
$4.99 a minute

to just have anyone
lick my balls.

Um, well, the, um,

the business had some, uh,
some issues.

But the... the phone is now
back up and...

and running.

Thank God!

Listen, I'm gonna give you
my new credit card number.

Is that okay?

Yeah, it's, uh...
it's easier on my end.

Okay, but I hope you'll go
anything but easy

on my end.

Clever, Damien.

Um, so let's, uh,
let's do this.

Will that be visa
or American express?

Uh-huh.

Yeah. Sexy.

I understand that things
at home are stressful.

I get that.

But what am I supposed to do?

That's why they pay you
the big bucks, Connie.

To take care of shit like this.

This is not funny, Cathy.

Do you realize
you are the third person

from your house
in my office today?

You are a teacher.

Certain rules
need to be followed.

Certain behavior is expected.

And today's behavior
was not it.

You know, I'm not
particularly proud of myself,

but I am an adult,
so you can stop

wagging your finger at me.

Psh.

Is that...

is that alcohol on your breath?

Excuse me?

You have to give me
a little more credit, Connie.

For your information,
what you're smelling

is medicine that I'm on
for my clinical trial.

Medicine.

You have got to help me out
here, Cathy.

I think the school
has been very good

about giving you
the time and space you need

to deal with your illness.

I only ask for a little
professionalism in return.

So you want...

Professionalism.

Professional...

Professionalism.

He's wearing a tie.

Is that professional enough
for ya?

what are you doing here?

I work here, remember?

No, I mean why did Adam
call me for a ride

if... if you were here?

Oh, I'm afraid
he doesn't want

to have anything
to do with me right now.

Why? What happened?

I told him my story.

I told him everything.

I think it was
the right thing to do.

The way I did it
was questionable.

Honey, have you been drinking?

I have.

And I will probably be drinking
more later.

I'll see you at home.

look, don't...
I was just...

- wasting a perfectly
good cigarette?

You got another one I can bum?

Sure.

huh.

all set.
Want to see it?

Mmhmm.

so what do you think, Alexis?

You like it?

I love it.

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