All language subtitles for The Big C s02e09 A Little Death.eng

It's way too small.

It's just symbolic,
though, right?

Maybe I can show you
something in teak?

Maybe you can show me something

that doesn't look
like a clown car.

This is my flesh and blood
we're talking about.

She's dealing with
a miscarriage in her own way.

It's only been about four days.

I understand.

Now, this--
this isn't bad.

Oh, well, that's the Cadillac
of ever-afters.

But, Rebecca, you don't
have anything to put in it.

Well, except her
hopes and dreams.

I-I know that everybody
mourns in a different way.

When I miscarried,
I planted a tree.

I don't want to mourn.

I want to celebrate
the life that was inside me

for 18 weeks.

This fetus deserves to be feted.

I will take the big, shiny one.

Of course.
Excellent choice.

And we'll do the service in
our contemplation room.

I'm gonna need room
for a photo booth

and a sushi bar.

I'm gonna have...

If you'll excuse us
for one second.

What?

Now, I want to be supportive,

but I'm afraid that you're
sublimating your grief

with...sushi.

Cath, I'm okay.

A baby was never
in the cards for me.

If I had really wanted one,

I would have had one
before my uterus

started dropping to my knees.

It's Sean you should worry about.

He's gone off his meds.

Oh, God.

He said it was the only way
he could feel the pain

of losing baby Cathy.

May I ask where the coffin
will be buried?

I thought I would put her
in the Tolke family plot.

There is no Tolke family plot.

Hold on.
You have cancer

and no plot?

Hello!

You might want
to think about that.

I have some lovely
space available.

I'm sure you do.

Did you know you can get a coffin

that's aerated?

To avoid that
musty just-dead smell?

So water can run through it.

You can take a bath for eternity.

"A," that's disgusting.

"B," I don't really want
to talk about this.

It's morbid.

We have to talk about it, Paul.

I mean, it's crazy
how unprepared we are.

We don't even have burial plots.

This is all Rebecca's fault.

You know, she wants to throw
a state funeral

for her unborn child,

and now you're catalogue
shopping for coffins.

Yes, she is cuckoo.

But we have to have
some understanding.

Honey, I get it.

But she was barely showing.

I'm going to Brent's.

I thought you were going to
a hockey game with Uncle Sean.

Uh, yeah, I don't know.
He's acting all weird.

You know, it's not like
an actual person died.

Thank you.

It's like everybody caught
pro-life-itis.

Paul!

Come on, everybody
was thinkin' it.

- Mom, dad.
- Who are those for?

"Sorry for your loss."

Hey, these are for you.

We got them by mistake.

Oh, excellent.

The, uh, the obituary's
working its intended magic.

You wrote an obituary?

Well, somebody had to
acknowledge this happened.

Let me tell you something, Cathy,

you go before you hit 20 weeks,

you are shit out of luck.

You can't get a birth
or a death certificate.

It's like you've, um--

it's like you've been
wiped off the books.

You never existed.

Thankfully, the folks
at The Twin Cities Leader

took pity on my plight,
and they also took my 20 bucks.

I know this is
an incredibly hard time.

You want to know hard?

You try going
to the preemie ward.

They have babies in there

the size of a fucking acorn.

But they get to live.

They even have volunteers
to hold them

so they--they--
they grow faster.

You--they have
fucking entourages.

Rebecca told me that you--
you went off your--

you went off your meds.

Yeah, I'm--I'm not gonna
go through this doped up.

Oh, Sean, why make this
harder on yourself?

It's a very emotional time.

Exactly.

And I plan on feeling
every, single bit of it.

Hey, buddy.

I didn't know customers
were allowed back here.

They're not the customers.

Wait...They just
stole that stuff?

In broad daylight?

Relax, Paul.

Owen is at Quiznos on his break.

It's just us here.

Okay, here is your piece
of the action.

Can I just be clear
about something?

I don't condone stealing, okay?

I never even lifted a pack of gum

when I was a kid.

Right? I'm doing this
because my wife is sick

and we have bills.

I don't judge.

After I pay my rent,

I am spending the money
on Andrea.

That girl.

She likes her bling.

Sometimes, when we go out,

she looks like a beautiful
black Christmas tree.

You really like her, huh?

Do Ukrainians love bread?

I have no idea.

They do.

What are you makin' there?

It's my outfit for the funeral.

I'm adding extra sparkles to it

because funerals scare
the shit out of me.

Well, this one has a photo booth,

so you might be
pleasantly surprised.

I'm sorry.
My family is so dysfunctional.

Hey, if I hadn't
moved in with you,

I never would have met Myk.

How's that goin'?

Pretty good.

Is it...getting serious?

You sound like my mom.

Do I?
I don't mean to, I just--

I want you to be able to talk
to me about stuff, Andrea.

Myk and I are gonna do it.

Oh.

Wow, are you sure you're ready?

I mean, do I...do I need
to take you to a gynecologist?

Or should I ground you?

Sounding like my mom.

All right.
Sorry.

Have you...

- done it before?
- You callin' me a ho?

I'm not calling you a ho.

It might be my first time.

My God.

Well...

I'm in total virgin
territory here.

No pun intended.

I mean, I didn't
get to talk to Adam

about losing his virginity--
he just went and did it.

Did I ask for your advice?

No.

But let me just say this.

Low expectations.

Low.

Because the sex most likely
is gonna suck.

But you make sure...

That he respects you.

And that he makes it special.

I lost my virginity
on a bean bag chair.

Five minutes, and it was over.

Just like a fairytale.

Cathy, are you here?

Yeah, in here.

Oh, hi.

Hey, Andrea.

Oh, nice sparkles.

Um, I was wondering
if you'd say some words

at the funeral.

Sure. Uh...

There--there's a Robert Frost
poem I know.

No, I meant like a eulogy.

- Eulogy?
- Isn't a eulogy,

like, memories of a person

or stories about their life?

Cathy will think of something.

Okay. Thanks.

Please don't get pregnant.

Hey, what's with
the fancy muffins?

Yeah, aren't they great?

They came in a basket
called "Breakfast Mourning."

Yes, mourning was
spelled with a "U."

It's a bereavement basket.

Oh, Paul, we can't eat these.

These are for Sean and Rebecca.

Nope, they're for us.

Well, they're for me,
since I'm the grieving widower.

What are you saying?

Cathy Tolke died

on Thanksgiving.

Gone to a kinder place.

Oh, my God.

At least the widower
will not go hungry.

Oh, jee--
Why did Sean do this?

What was he thinking?

He couldn't pay for the extra
line, "Not my sister,

the embryo I was gonna name
after my sister"?

Good news is,
we're extremely popular.

We've already gotten
30 condolence cards.

Jesus.

Who died?

Me.

Hey, you want something to eat?

No, no...Not until
I take this fucker apart.

$10 nut by $20 bolt.

Do you want a Xanax, maybe.

No, I don't want any Xanax.

And if anybody needs
some help, it's you.

I mean, look at you, Rebecca.

I've seen you more upset

when someone stole
your parking space.

I'm trying to see
the positive, Sean.

I didn't think
I could even get pregnant.

Oh, well, congratulations to you.

I'm going back to work tomorrow.

I'm feeling kind of
cooped up here.

Well, it's your loss.

I'm gonna have a changing table
bonfire tomorrow.

This feels nice.

Feels pretty fuckin' weird to me.

We got a fetus funeral
this afternoon,

and this is how you want
to spend your morning,

looking at burial plots?

You're a death junkie.

No, I just--I just
want us to decide

where we want to be.

This is the perfect time
to do it--

while we're both still here

and can make a rational decision.

People do crazy things in grief.

Look at Rebecca.

Switch with me.

There, now you're looking
at my good side for eternity.

When you come visit me here,

and you will come visit me,

I want you to always
imagine me blowing kisses.

Death junkie.

We should take this.

Honey...

My--my feet are
higher than my head.

I'm looking at a guy named
Alfonso P. Dick.

If this is forever, I think
we gotta dream a little bigger.

Hmm.

I'd love to have a plot
in the full sun.

Wouldn't that be awesome?

Just to lie in the sun forever
and not have it kill you?

It's so ironic.

But...Shady and uneven
is what we can afford.

Hope Mr. Dick
isn't a snorer.

Adam!
Over here, you koc!

Wait, you're Poppy?

Poppy P. Kowalski.

The middle "P"
is for "Pamela."

Ew, right?

You're old.

Thanks, bitch.

But your name is "poppy17."

Yeah, it's for
the Janis Ian song.

Who?

It's awesome.
I'll play it for you sometime.

I gotta--I gotta go.

Dude, you just got here!

I don't know what kind
of twisted game you play,

trolling around on a
kids with sick parents website,

but it's not cool.

My dad has lung cancer.

So I'm a kid with
a sick parent too.

So you don't get to be
the only one around here

who's fucked up.

Who says I'm fucked up?

Well, that's what you're gonna be

when I beat your ass
in this game.

Whatever you're about
to say, don't.

Remember, this is the act
of a grieving woman.

Oh!

Rebecca.

Hey, it looks lovely.

It is funeral-tastic.

- Thanks.
- Really.

Have you seen Sean?
He's gone AWOL.

- Mm-mmm.
- Oh...All right.

Just, um, remember,

your eulogy comes
after his remarks.

- I want everything to flow--
- Oh, my God.

- Julie?
- You're alive!

Ohh! I saw the announcement
and I thought--

Oh, no!
No, no, no, no, no, no.

Didn't have funeral
information in the obit.

Oh, well, I found it online.

- I went wide on Twitter.
- You what?

This funeral is of my unborn
child, Cathy Tolke.

Rebecca miscarried.

Ohh.
Uh, I'm so sorry.

Thank you.

When I miscarried,
I planted a tree.

Well, I didn't want to plant
a God damn tree.

Julie was on
my high school swim team.

Cathy!

Oh, you're all here!

We rented a van.

Oh, please tell me
Lead-Foot Lisa didn't drive!

You know, this is a funeral.

It isn't t.G.I. Friday's
at Happy Hour.

Could you all just
bring it down a little bit?

Rebecca, they're--

they're just happy I'm not dead.

All right.
I'm gonna check on the buffet.

I'm at my own funeral.

A-and it's very nice.

Everything's so pink.

Whoa, three in a row.
Take that, sucker.

That's not fair.

This game's from, like, the '80s.

It's for old people.

- Sorry.
- Uh! Whatever. Please.

How old are you, anyway?

My shrink says I act like I'm 14.

I'm like, "I can drive, so take that."

Yeah, I hate shrinks.

Oh, my God, me too.

You know, like,
we don't have enough people

already staring at us.

- Ahh.
- Yeah.

I mean, it's not our fault

our parents got cancer.

Jesus, it's so fucking random!

Why us?

Might want to, um,
use your inside voice.

Can I tell you a secret?

I don't have
an inside voice!

Shit, um...

I have this crazy
funeral thing to go to

for my uncle's miscarriage.

Oh, shut up.
That's awesome.

Can I come?

- To a funeral?
- Yeah.

I don't even wanna go.

Exactly--you need
a koc buddy.

We should test drive
this death thing.

I have to tell you,
for a dead woman,

you look really awesome.

Well, thanks.

I'm--I'm so sorry
you came all this way.

Oh, are you kidding?

I would have
flown in from anywhere.

You were a really good friend,
Cathy.

I remember this one day,
senior year,

I was crying in the cafeteria,

and you were the only one
who stopped

and asked what was wrong.

I'd just gotten into
Carlton College.

And I really,
really wanted to go.

But my boyfriend
was going to U. Minn,

and I knew it would be over with
him unless I went too.

And do you remember
what you said?

"U. Minn, that's a crappy
football team."

No, no.

No, you said,
"Don't delay the happy."

That's good advice.

It was great advice.

I went to Carlton,
forgot all about Matt,

and had an amazing time.

And met my husband.

Oh, well, that's terrific.

I love that story.

So...Thank you, Cathy.

I do not remember
one bit of that story.

I am such an asshole.

An asshole
who gives great advice.

- Cathy?
- Hey.

- You're alive?
- She is!

Shit.

Oh, Paulie.

Oh, Paulie, I'm so, so sorry.

I'm totally here for you.

No...Cathy didn't die.

What?

Huge mix-up.

She's alive and kicking.

See? Right here.

Wow.

Wow. Well, great news.

Right.

Ain't that a kick
in the head, huh?

Like a zombie movie.

Heh, so, um...

Well, there's an open bar
with my name all over it.

So...I'll drink to that.

- Yeah.
- Oh, but, um...

If you're really hungry,
there's some

terrific California rolls
right over the--

Excuse me.

Hi, honey.

Hi!

I'm Cathy.
I'm Adam's mom.

Oh, my gosh, hi.
I'm Poppy.

Your son is total awesomeness.

Yes. Yes, he is.

And how do you know
his awesomeness?

Uh, we met online.

What?

At a chat room for kids...

With parents who have cancer.

You have cancer?

No, silly.

I'm the kid.

Who's about to get
some free food.

I don't understand.

It's a computer program

where you can put
two faces together.

And see what your baby
would look like.

This child looks like an old man.

I am uncomfortable.

Maybe they are just friends.

You know?
May not be a bad thing

for Adam to have someone
to hang around with

who's going through
the same shit; I don't know.

Paul, she's practically my age.

So? So what?

I had an older friend
when I was growing up.

You know, she was an artist.

I was 16.
She was 40.

We used to hang around
talking about Rothko.

Okay, maybe I saw her
boob-a-rellas like once.

Twice, maybe.

Will you tell your friends

to stop hogging the photo booth?

Didn't you want people
to enjoy it?

Well, sure, the right people.

The people who are here
for my loss, not your loss.

You're totally hijacking
my funeral.

Actually, Rebecca...

You're hijacking mine.

Yeah, no, you chose to name
the baby after me.

You threw this crazy funeral.

You put it on Twitter.

Thanks to you, I'm already dead.

Oh, look, I think I've been
more than supportive,

but I'm the one who's
been really, really sick.

This may be my last time
to see a lot of these people

who came here...for me.

Forget about doing the eulogy.

Ohh...

Rebecca!

For God's sake.

Is that "Rugby Slut"?

No. No!

Jesus! No!

Look at you.

- You're alive.
- Ahh.

Very much so.

Cathy, I--
I don't want you to worry.

I--if anything should
ever happen to you,

I will totally be there for Paul.

- I'm sure you would.
- Yeah.

Here's the thing.

I will most likely...go before Paul.

- Yeah.
- And after I do...

I really, really hope he finds...

an amazing woman

to live the rest
of his life with.

Someone who can...take care of him

and help Adam.

You are so generous.

And you are so not that woman.

If you so much as lay one
French-manicured hand on him

after I'm in the ground,

I will claw my way
out of the dirt,

and I will haunt you the rest
of your slutty, drunk life.

Hello! Is this on?

Yeah, um...

Sorry to interrupt
your little festival of denial.

But, um...

I just wanted to say
fuck you very much,

U.S. of "A."

Now, you can't tell us

who deserves to be shackled

by your, um,
your authoritarian system

of identity.

Baby Cathy is gonna live forever.

Right here!

That's awesome.

Sayonara, suckers!

Sean, come on.
Come back.

Don't--
Oh, oh, please don't go.

Oh, guys...

Um...

P-please don't go,
everyone.

We--we have sushi
for days.

Um...

Y-you...

I-if...

- It's okay.
- Uh...

It's okay, I got it.

I just--
I wanted to say, um...

You know, I'm--I'm--

I'm very lucky to--

to be alive to--
to see you all

and to hear what I meant to you.

You shouldn't wait until
someone dies

to tell them how you feel.

So thank you.

I love you all.

But most of all, I...

I'd like to thank baby Cathy.

This baby didn't even
get a chance to live,

and she affected all of us.

She...

She gave my brother a chance,

even for a little while,

to be really, really happy.

And she brought out
this beautiful, maternal...

side of her tough-ass mother
I had never seen before.

And she brought all of you
here today for me.

What a gift.

Life is so precious,
and it's way too fucking short.

So...

Don't delay the happy.

And thank you, baby Cathy,

for reminding us all of this.

To baby Cathy.

You Americans
throw nice funerals.

In Ukraine, we say one prayer,

we throw you on the ground
and get drunk.

I'm just glad it's over.

And that we didn't have
to look at some corpse.

When I saw my grandma
laid out in her coffin,

all waxy,

I had nightmares for,
like, a month.

I never need to see
another dead body

for the rest of my life,
thank you very much.

Don't turn around.

What? What?

There might be
a deceased behind you.

Oh, shit, shit.
I feel it.

Look at me.
Look at me.

Look me in the eyes.

It will be over soon.

I will protect you.

You got nice eyes, Ukraine.

Because they're looking at you.

Damn.

Death makes me horny.

Mmm.

Thanks for inviting me to your
mom's funeral, you koc.

You're weird.

I know I am, but what are you?

- I'm awesome.
- You're awesome, dude!

I know!

I really sort of enjoyed
your faux funeral.

It set the bar pretty high.

Say what you want, but...

Rebecca kind of got it right.

I mean, if you're gonna go,
go big.

It's your grand finale.
Why scrimp?

Can I meet you in the car?

I just gotta do one quick thing.

I want the best
burial plot that you have.

Full sun...

Level ground...

The more sun, the better.

Consider this a down payment.

Very good.

It's open!

Hey.

That was a nice speech.

Thank you.

I'm sorry about my friends.

Do you think...

That we would be friends
if we met now?

You know, as adults?

Honestly, I don't know.

Maybe we peaked in our 20s.

Maybe we should have
left well enough alone.

We had great memories.

Would you and I
even be hanging out

if I wasn't carrying
your brother's baby or...

Would he and I
still be together?

I don't know.

Wait, are you leaving?

I think that Sean and I...

Both need somebody to take care
of us right now.

And neither one of us
is up for it.

So...I'm going back
to Chicago.

Spend some time alone, you know?

Take care of Sean.

Okay.

He ran off before I even
had a chance

to talk him, so...

Rebecca, I'm so sorry
about the baby.

I should have planted a tree.

Remember, they're small.

Just rock her.

Let her know you're there.

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