All language subtitles for Insecurity s02e09 The Spy, the Friend and Her Lover.eng

Customs just stopped a guy
from Rio, with fake ID.

He wants a deal,
says he'll tell us

anything we want about
Brazil's defence codes.

- He's a credible source?
- Brazilian ex-military.

It checks out, but RCMP
wants him, Customs too.

We should get down there.

- Where are you two going?
- To get a Brazilian.

Pardon me?

Yeah, it's a bit of
a fiasco down there.

- Hey, guys, what's up?
- We gotta get a Brazilian.

Mm, that's funny.
I just went yesterday.

- Did that sound like...
- Yeah. It's just sinking in now.

[
]

InSecurity SO2EO9
The Spy, the Friend and Her Lover

Sync and corrected by Kiasuseven
www. addic7ed. com

[
]

So, according to
N'udu's informant,

we've got yellow cake stolen

from a uranium processing
plant in Pembrooke.

I want this cake back
in the oven ASAP.

I don't like messin' around with
U308, my least favourite U.

Contact your informant.
See if there's anything else he might know.

Done.

Where's a good place to take
my roommate from university?

I thought you lived with a
drug dealer in university.

This is my other roommate, Tara.
I told you that in confidence.

- Is she the cute redhead you went
camping with? - Nope.

The hot blonde from
Lilith Fair 1999?

Tara just moved here
from Vancouver.

And she's not on
my Facebook page.

Okay, that's why.

The carriage ride along
Sussex is a delight.

We're not dating.

I know the password to a
bare-knuckled boxing place.

We're not guys.

I'm out of ideas.

By the way, if you opt for the
carriage ride, ask for Jordi.

If you buy him a twenty-sixer,
he'll let you take the reins.

I think we all need
to get out more.

Ah, you haven't seen Jordi pee
from a moving carriage.

[groans]

How is a person supposed to
concentrate with all that going on?

I'm sorry, I'll breathe
through my mouth.

- No, not you. Them.
- Oh.

- Just get married, already.
- Right.

- These PDAs are killing me.
- I know, it's all like,

"Look at us.
We're in loooove," and whatnot.

You know, I don't
get weddings.

Crying, laughing.

Too much emotion
and bad finger food.

And spy weddings
are even worse.

The redacted invitations
kinda kill the charm.

Plus when they
use code names,

finding your table
is a nightmare.

So glad I got out of it.

- You're not going?
- You are?

Yeah, I thought it'd be a laugh,
especially with you there.

- We could joke around.
- Barf.

- I know, that sounded sappy.
- No. Them.

Gross.

Let me write that down.

The National Museum of?

Desks. It's better
than the name implies.

Hey. Sorry I'm late.
I see you've met N'udu.

I was just filling your friend
in on some of Ottawa's hotspots.

Oh. Just don't do
the amphibious bus tour.

My seat was wet and it did not
smell like canal water.

- Well, thanks again for the tip.
- No problem.

Also, if you do the tour
of Parliament Hill,

try to blend in with a school
group. You get a box lunch.

You ready?

Here comes my second apology.
I have to cancel on dinner.

Okay. Can we at least talk
in your office for a bit?

- I would love that.
- Great.

But it takes 24 hours
to get clearance.

You could sneak me in.
Like old times?

That was at the movie theatre.
This is NISA.

It's always amazed me how there
were no jobs in between the two.

I should only be
a few more hours.

Grab some wine, order some Chinese,

and we'll prank call old
boyfriends like the old days.

- Except there's caller ID now.
- Not when you work for NISA!

I probably shouldn't yell that.

So, big day comin' up
for Brad and Amanda.

Yeah. I'm not going.
Faked a surgery to get out of it.

Too bad.

It's going to be fun, JoJo.

You know, it was at a wedding
that I fell in love with Helene.

Oh, it was awkward because
it was her wedding.

She was marrying
someone else?

We'd been friends
for many years,

but it was only at that moment
that it struck me,

"I love this woman. She's crazy.
She makes me laugh. "

So what happened?

Like a gentleman, I waited
for the priest

to ask if anybody objected to
these two getting married.

Then I threw a bottle
at the groom.

How romantic?

Missed. But the people
got the idea.

Then I ran to Helene
and we kissed.

Then the groom punched me
in the face.

Then I punched the
best man in the face

'cause the groom was
a really big guy.

Then the brawl started.

Then I grabbed Helene and a wedding gift

and we got the hell outta there.

Well, who's to say what's
right or very, very wrong?

Hey, it was a
top-of-the-line blender.

And hopefully a top-of-the-line woman.

Definitely.

You know, it's funny how
love can sneak up on ya.

You spend years getting to
know someone, and bam!

Hits you harder than
an angry groom.

Hi. Oh, what are you
still doing here?

Oh, I'm just leaving.

Sorry I bailed on the
movies. How were they?

I didn't bother.
I went out.

By yourself?

Look, you and I, tonight, are
definitely hitting the town.

- I'm putting the city of Ottawa on notice.
- Yes, let's do that.

You should get to work
so you don't have to stay late.

- Ow!
- What was that?

Oh. You brought a guy home?

Uh, is that cool?

Way cool, roomie. Come on,
lemme see the goods.

- Oh, no, no.
- Come on, I want to meet him.

[loudly] Unless two girls are more
than you can handle.

Do you mind if I shower?

This is great.

Two people that I'm close to,
together, in my condo.

This is probably
weird for you.

No. Why would
this be weird?

I can't seem to
find my shoes.

I will bring them
to you at the office.

Oh. We're not
going in together?

No!

I have a bunch
of stops to make.

Look, you have a
nice apartment.

It's a shame
it's so messy.

It's a shame you're
not wearing pants.

I'm just saying I nearly broke
my ankle on a pizza box

when we were fooling
around in the kitchen.

Again, I hope this
isn't awkward.

No. Just don't tell me
which pizza box.

Hey, Amanda.

I just wanted to
RSVP to your wedding.

You did RSVP. You're a no.

But I can come now.

But you're having an operation.
It sounded serious.

It is, was. I bumped it up.
I did it yesterday.

Oh, my God. Are you all right?
Do you need to sit down?

Oh, no, it's fine. The doctor
says I just need a little R & R,

maybe some quality
time with friends,

maybe a few drinks,
some speeches.

Well, then you should
definitely come.

- Oh, I'm so happy.
- Me too.

Oh. Uh, well, the meals are
all ordered and paid for.

But I guess you're still
on a liquid diet?

I'll have the beef.

Oh, my God! You have
no place to sit.

I'm happy to stand.

No. You're disabled.
I am finding you a seat.

Someone will just have
to sit with the DJ.

Or m... my aunt won't come.

I don't want to
stress you out.

I can do this.

I can just, uh, take one
person from five tables

and then make a new table, which
is $400 plus centrepiece and...

Okay, well, I'll
leave you to it.

You are gonna be
so beautiful.

Thank you.

The plan is to meet with
the yellow cake dealers

and take them down
after the buy.

- N'udu's set it up for Saturday.
- Great.

- Oh, I heard N'udu was seeing your buddy.
How's that goin'? - Fine, fine.

Cool. If you have any other
friends, don't hesitate.

I don't have any
other single friends.

I never said anything
about single. J.K.

- It's okay to say "just kidding" in full.
- Mm.

I have to apologize. I used
some spray to clean your oven.

I didn't realize it was
antifungal medication.

If your foot
condition is severe,

- I will run right to the pharmacy.
- It's fine, N'udu.

- You have a foot thing?
- Let's just drop it.

Is it uncomfortable
to speak about?

In Ligeria, foot warts
are a sign of leadership.

It means that you aren't afraid
to walk barefoot through the world.

- I don't have warts.
- What do you have?

Who knows? That spray
kills everything, man.

Hey. Listen,
about you and Tara...

Isn't she fantastic?

Yeah, definitely. And I'm glad
you two are getting along.

But I was wondering if
you two could get along

outside the condo sometimes.

Oh, we get along everywhere.
That's what's so great.

Let me put it another way.

As a good friend of Tara's,
I know she likes to be spoiled.

So why not take her to a hotel
or buy her a fancy dinner

at a restaurant on
the other side of town?

Yes, of course.
What else can I give her?

Maybe some sleep.
I know I could use some.

I am so regretting
putting the French doors

between the bedrooms.

Hey, so get this. I'm going
to the wedding after all.

Really? Oh.

What about your surg...

Yeah. We just got to talking
about the DJ and her relatives

and I realized
I can't miss this.

So, you know, if she's
happy, I'm happy.

And yet she's crying over
her seating plan in her office.

Yeah, she cries
when she's excited.

- That's great news. This will be fun.
- Yeah!

Somebody will slip up,
expose an informant,

it'll be hilarious.
So whatever.

How are you
getting up there?

Oh. Helene and I are driving
up, if you'd like to join us.

No, thanks. I don't know what's
happened in your back seat.

I'm taking my car.
If I don't drive,

I end up drinking too much
and then I walk out of there

with googly eyes
and cake in my pockets.

Anyways, you're
welcome to a lift.

- Sure. It'll save on gas.
- Yeah.

It's very practical.

- Okay. I'll swing by your place beforehand.
- Mm.

What?

Ah. Hm?

[long sigh]

Oh, thank goodness
you're here.

Where are your good napkins?
All I found are the bad ones.

- What are you doing here?
- You let me leave work early, remember?

Because I thought you were
taking Tara out to dinner.

Yes. But then
I thought to myself,

"What says love more than
a meal cooked from the heart?"

A meal cooked at a restaurant
several blocks away.

Alex. I thought
you'd be at work.

I bore down to get everything
done, skipped lunch, even.

- Well, then you should join us.
- Please.

- I can thin the minestrone.
- And I can cut my lobster tail in two.

No, really, I was just
heading back out, actually.

Nonsense.

I was going to melt some
chocolate for an activity later

but you can have it now.

Oh, guys. Ha, seriously,
I was just coming back

to make sure that
the oven was off.

It's on.

On or off, as long
as we're sure.

- You... you have to stay.
- Nope. Got a date, actually.

- Really?
- Yeah.

And as my old roomie knows,

this girl can get
her freak, freak on.

[giggles]

She made that intriguing and
disturbing all at the same time.

[beep, beep]

- Hi.
- This is Cindy from HR.

Oh, hi.

Okay, well,
where to, madam?

Brad and Amanda's wedding.

Right. I just figured maybe we were
picking your date up on the way?

No.

Did you have a nice night?

Yes. There really wasn't
enough food for three people.

That's fine. I didn't want you
to date N'udu at first.

I'm not sure why.

It's been a while since
I've had that with anyone

and it was happening
right in my guest room.

Oh, we used your
room once. Sorry.

Sure. Okay. I can probably
deal with that later.

But the big picture
is that you're happy.

- I need to end it.
- What? No. Why?

N'udu is a lot of fun,

but he is pushing this
relationship stuff pretty hard.

- He's not a psycho, is he?
- No. Well, yes, in a good way.

He says he loves
everything about me.

I know my self-esteem is sometimes
iffy, but that's not normal.

He's passionate.

Once he said he wanted to make love
to a bunch of kalamata olives.

I don't think I can handle it.
I have to figure out how to

break up that doesn't involve
moving to a different city.

[knocking]

Hello. Just thought I
would take you to work.

How is that for an excuse
to see my girlfriend?

So what do you
think of Halifax?

I couldn't help myself.

I had to get another
look at my sweetheart.

Make it count.

You are just full
of surprises.

Really? Me, full of surprises?

Guilty as charged.

- Oh, my.
- Oh, N'udu.

Oh, it's beautiful. You should
hold on to the receipt...

as a keepsake.

Oh, there's an inscription.

It's a Ligerian saying.
It means when you know, you know.

And sometimes
you don't know, right?

That's gotta be in a Ligerian
saying book somewhere.

Are you two going
to be late for work?

Yes, we will.
Thank you, my angel.

Now, go out there and be good spies
and keep those secrets safe,

including any secrets
involving me.

Oh.

Ah, this is gonna
be a fun day.

Well, that was
a long car ride.

- It was like I caught every red light.
- And train crossing.

And that train was so long.
127 cars, remember?

Yeah, you counted them.

JoJo, I just wanna say,
that dress is really pretty.

Thanks. I really wanna say
the same about yours.

Thank you.

Oh, my God. This place
is so romantic.

It screams Facebook
profile photo.

- I can take that for you.
- Thanks. But I want it to be a selfy.

So I guess we'll see you...

Yeah, inside.
You two have fun.

- Should I smile?
- No, it should look candid.

All right, let's keep
workin' our story.

N'udu, you look a little
smiley for an arms dealer.

Drop it down, big guy.

That is going to be hard.
I'm in such a state of love.

Uh-huh. Alex, you look like something's
weighing heavily on your conscience.

What? No. I'm fine.

I thought it was a nice touch.
You're an engineer working for a terrorist.

Chances are you'd be
a little conflicted.

Yeah. I like to get
deep into character.

Nice. Keep at it. We've got
black market uranium out there.

We need to lock it down.

I am never gonna
make this wedding.

Ah, well. I'll just toast
the bride on Skype.

[sighs]

You know, love is fleeting.
And it may not even exist,

so it's good to keep
a level perspective.

Tara has a level
perspective.

Ah, now I miss her.

I... I think what you're missing

is maybe a little moment
to assess the situation.

I mean, who is this
Tara girl, anyway?

She's sleeping in your
guest room, for now,

until I ask her
to move in with me.

Oh, that's not
a great idea.

I know. It sounds crazy. But
love is crazy. And I am crazy.

- N'udu, Tara's gonna break up with you.
- Come again?

She told me this
morning. I'm sorry.

Oh.

Now you're a little too down.
Find something in the middle.

[dance music]

[
]

You know what, Helene?

This reminds me of
when we got married.

- Except we had better music,
- Ah.

and worse clothes.

What can I get you,
mon amour?

Three Sex on the Beach.

- I'm not big into shots.
- We didn't order for you.

So, Burt brought a date.

I prefer to fly solo
at a wedding,

avoid all the awkward
date-wedding thing,

trying too hard to
like each other.

[slow music]

Um, excuse me. I suddenly
have the urge to dance.

[
]

What are you waiting for,

lightning to strike you
in the ass?

Pardon me?

I see you checking out
poil de carotte.

[laughs]
Oh, I don't...

Let me tell you a story
about me and Claude.

I think I've heard this.

That handsome jerk kept me
waiting for four years.

I haven't heard
this version.

I kept dropping
hint after hint,

but they landed on his
feet like wet potatoes.

So you decided to
marry someone else?

Ah, it seemed like the right
thing to do. And it worked.

Claude finally wised up.
We kissed, people punched.

And you've been
happy ever since.

[laughs]
You're funny.

Well, are you just going to stand there
or are you gonna wise up?

Hello, Amanda.

Jenna saw you at sensitivity training
the day of your gastric bypass.

I'll be honest with you.
I didn't have surgery.

I suffer from memory loss.
Have you seen Amanda?

My aunt is at home right now eating
no-name pork kebobs 'cause of you.

- I'm sorry. I don't even wanna be here.
- What?

No, it not you...
it was beautiful.

- The fish was delicious.
- You were supposed to have the beef!

- I should go.
- You take your gift, liar.

It isn't mine.

- Take it.
- Okay.

JoJo?

Gotta go, Burt.
We'll talk later.

Good structure,
robust colouration.

You're running
at 85% U308?

All I know is the price and you shouldn't
put it in your mouth.

- Your guy gonna buy or what?
- Why? Why? Why?

I'm not gonna lie.
He's a little upset.

We don't wanna hang around here.

If your guy's not interested,
we'll cut this off.

I'll talk to him.

Look, yellow cake
is very special.

I understand that this
seems like the only

yellow cake in the world
to you right now,

but there will be other yellow
cake that will be even more special.

Fine. We'll lower the price.

Really? That will
please my associate.

- We wanna get rid of the stuff.
- Thank you.

You'd think you'd be happier.
You can make a nuke now.

I just need some time
to process all of this.

Pretty refined as is.

Trust me, he's happy. He'll be
blowin' up stuff real soon.

Targets are heading to the
parking lot. Take 'em down.

That's a nice
speech, Alex.

Did you also intend it to
apply to my heartbreak?

Uh, yeah.

Everything okay out here?

Yeah. I've always wanted a
sterling silver martini shaker

with "Amanda and Brad"
engraved on it.

So, how's everything
going with Cindy?

Good. She likes me.

Good.

Do you want a cosmo? Because
let me tell you, I make a mean...

I told her I didn't feel
the same way about her.

She must have been
disappointed.

Nah, she understands. What's
the point in dating someone

when you wanna be
with someone else?

Look, do you
want a drink or...

Are you gonna hit me?

Probably not.

Oooh.

That's sweet.

Excuse me.

[Helene retching]

Right back at 'er.

- Hungry?
- Starving.

Did you make all this?

Well, it's some stuff that
I had planned to make for,

well, someone, but
you deserve it more.

Thanks. I'll eat her
food, I don't care.

And thanks for helping me
over this Tara thing.

- Tara doesn't know what she's missing.
- Thank you.

And please never say
her name, ever again.

What's goin' on in here,
a little foodness?

Yeah, N'udu made a feast.

I'm not a really big fan of sea
scallops, but I'll try one.

Hey, I also have a bottle of
wine in my office. Should I go,

You guys probably wanna wind
down after the big mish.

- I won't bother you.
- No stay.

Half the staff's
at that wedding, anyway.

- We should at least have a good meal.
- And there's plenty.

Just so you know, the food
is meant to arouse.

Now we'll all be thinking
about that when we eat.

I'm gonna be thinking about
how close I am to your feet.

I'll go get the wine.

Subtitle by: Kiasuseven

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0