All language subtitles for Insecurity s02e04 The Spy Who Fed Me.eng

So the Chinese Secret Service
is currently denying

all allegations, of course,
but our team on the ground--

Hate to interrupt.
Has anyone seen a mouse,

white, about yay big,

possibly smells
like nitroglycerin?

Uh, no, we haven't.

- Okay, then, my apologies.
- What's going on, JoJo?

No big deal, just go back
to your security briefing.

But if you do see a mouse,
don't startle it

or provoke it
or jostle it in any way.

Everything okay?

If we have mice, I should put
my lunch in the fridge.

Let's just focus
on the work.

So the Chinese Secret
Service is--

Got it!

Okay, problem solved.

InSecurity S02E04
The Spy Who Fed Me

Sync and corrected by Kiasuseven
www.addic7ed.com

Morning, honey.
Did you sleep well?

Not really. That Jesus
nightlight kinda freaks me out.

Oh, one of his eyes is
burnt out, that's why.

- I did some of your laundry.
- Oh, you didn't have to.

I'm afraid the machine
ate the other half of these,

but you can borrow
a pair of mine.

Thanks. But I'll be out Friday.
The drywall's going up today.

Take your time. It's nice to
have someone to take care of

- other than your father and his cyst.
- Mom!

- What? That thing is like a third child.
- Is that the time?

Oh! We didn't change the clock in
your room since daylight savings.

I gotta go.

Excuse me, grabby hands,
those are for Mrs. Reed.,

She wants you to come
meet her son, by the way.

He's home from Fort McMurray
and he's looking to settle down.

Big meeting.

At least stay
for some waffles.

You made waffles
and scones?

You can't save the world
on an empty stomach.

That's why they
invented crackers.

Morning.

Morning. You coming?

I'll be right there.

Hey, Pam. Alex?

Go ahead.

Good morning, Pam.

Alex. Shall we
ascend together?

No! Sorry, um,
I'll be right up.

Funny. First time ever
I forgot my badge at home.

Let me just make
a quick call.

Hey, it's me.

MOM: Oh, hi, Sweetie Pie.

Um, have you
seen my badge?

- I'm buffing it.
- ALEX: Why?

I took it out when I washed
your coat. It had blood on it.

No, that was
chocolate, mostly.

Do you have time
to bring my badge?

When? I still have to lance
your father's cyst.

The sooner the better.

Ah, okay, I'll drop it by.
The badge, not the cyst.

Please stop saying cyst.

You're gonna need your
supervisor to sign those,

Sweetie Pie.

ALEX:
I'm sorry about this.

I've had the British
High Commissioner

waiting for us up there
for 15 minutes.

You know I'm not normally late.
And initial here.

Now because of you
I'm stalling him

with a slideshow of NISA's
Greatest Takedowns.

And sign here.

It only lasts as long as BTO's
Takin' Care of Business.

- So we gotta move.
- Okay.

- It must be visible at all times.
- Of course.

Up here, honey.

Wow. That's big.

Sorry about that. Just another
file that's heating up.

This is Alex Cranston. She'll
be interrogating Bashir Eman.

I'm going to tear him a
new one, High Commissioner,

and an old one.

Well, if your tactic is to
make him wait uncomfortably

and watch an
awkward slideshow,

he might become irritated
enough to talk.

I assure you, High Commissioner,
I can handle Bashir.

I have enough background
on his connection

to the People's
Liberation Front,

as well as his family
here in Canada,

to have substantial leverage.
If you'll just observe.

- ANNOUNCER: NISA'S
greatest takedowns! -Oh.

- The hottest, the best.
- Oops. I can do this. Hold on.

- Vancouver, '87, Swift Current--
- There we go.

Look, I agreed to a 24
hour loan of Mr. Eman

before MI6 renders him to the
CIA, and they are not amused.

It's going to take a lot of free
MI6 swag to calm them down.

I'm talking fleece
pullovers, knapsacks,

handsome USB pens.

CIA's always mad.

The whole agency needs to
do some Bikram, seriously.

Everything will be fine.

I will go with Agent Lesage
to the airport,

pick up Bashir, and in
less than 24 hours

we will have intel on
potential PLF attacks

here in Canada and abroad.

And I might add,

MI6 has had him for two weeks
and gotten nothing.

- Please don't add that.
- Okay.

Well, that was better
than I thought.

Oh, um, these fell out of
your pocket in the meeting.

It has not been
a great morning.

Do you know what I do to
keep from losing my badge?

I didn't lose it. My mom
washed my coat. Very different.

Keep it in a safe place.

Are you having a heart attack?

Can you lift the corner
of my desk, please.

There.

That's where you
keep your badge?

It keeps the desk level.

While we're picking up Bashir,
I need you two to follow up

with surveillance
on Nina Shafari.

Whoa, she's easy
on the eyes.

Suspected Iranian spy
working at Canada Nuclear.

We think she's seducing
physicists for intel.

See what you can find.

We're on it.

So, stakeout today,
with JoJo?

Yes.

You know, sometimes on
stakeout it gets long

and lonely and the two
agents kill time by--

I'm on it. I've got my phone,
my book, Travel Scrabble.

I meant more that it might
be an opportunity

for you to get to know JoJo
in a more romantic sense.

You know,
stakeout makeout?

What?

No. No, no.

JoJo's a professional.
I'm a professional.

We're not making out.

You remember Angela on the
corporate espionage desk?

Yeah, you dated her.

Yes. And it started off
as stakeout makeout,

that led to makeout makeout.

Then she decided she liked
her old boyfriend better

and dumped me,
but the point is,

it started off
as stakeout makeout.

Listen to yourself. You sound
like you're 13 years old.

I've got a job to do.

Did you get dressed up?

What? No. This jacket?
No, no, no.

- No, no, I wear it all the time.
- It looks nice.

Oh, yeah? Thanks.
I just got it.

So, Nina Shafari.

Brings nuclear engineers
back to this love nest

and gives them the time of
their repressed lives.

Relationships with coworkers.
That's trouble, huh?

It's the lifeblood
of espionage.

Hey, you know, N'udu was
just talking about this.

How sometimes on stakeouts
when they get long,

agents kill time by sorta
makin' out and stuff.

You ever hear about
anything like that?

Stakeout makeout?

Yeah! I mean, is that
what it's called?

It seems kinda
high school to me.

I know. So dumb.
Right?

I think you need to
keep your work life

and personal
life separate.

I agree.

It's the mark.

I think she's gone.

JoJo?

What?

Oh. Good.

Have to make it
look convincing.

People like Nina
Shafari are pros.

They'll know if it's
real kissing or not.

Now I know what a
baby bird feels like.

Alex Cranston, NISA.

This is my colleague,
Claude Lesage.

Nigel Morse, MI6.

Badges please.

Uh, Claude, you go first.

Gosh, what happened here?

Oh. Took a bullet
in Mogadishu.

You know these big, square
Mogadishu-ian bullets, hm?

This badge saved my life.

You brave soul.

That day I learned that a badge
is more than brass and pleather.

It's-- a badge is courage,
a badge is pride.

Right. Ms. Cranston,
may I see yours?

This says "Visitor."

It's temporary.

All right.

All right, then.

For the next 24 hours, Bashir
officially belongs to you.

- Thank you.
- Not to you, to him.

Actually, I'm
the lead on this.

Right. Do you have another
sticker to prove it?

I only have the one.

And I'm gonna need it back,
so I can get into my office.

Right.

I hope you're looking forward to
spending 24 hours in hell, Bashir.

Because that's where
you are, in hell.

Actually, you're in
the lobby. Hell is inside.

Hey, did my mom
drop off my badge?

And she's still here.

I went to get this
from the car.

Just something
to tide you over.

I know you get busy
and forget to eat.

Aren't you going to introduce
me to your colleagues?

It's not a good time.

- I'm Alex's mom, Barb. How do you do?
- No.

Claude Lesage,
Senior Analyst.

- Enchant��, madame.
- Enchant��.

And who's this
swarthy gent?

Bashir Eman.

Number 23 on our
Most Wanted List.

Oh, okay. Okay?

- Is he dangerous?
- I'll be fine. It's what I do.

You're never going to
be taken seriously

- with lipstick on your face, Alex.
- Mom!

- Okay, there.
- I'll be right there.

Hold still.
Got it. Yeah. Okay.

Have a great day.

You brought a book.

Yeah. Yeah, just in case.

I know we have to focus, it's
just sometimes it gets long.

And the two of us just waiting
for some lonely scientist

to give in to his
lusty carnal urges.

Yeah.

- I brought some work, too.
- Well, not work.

I swore this PhD
would just be for fun.

Cool.

Here comes the mark.

- Wait a minute.
- Hm?

It's not her.
It's not even a woman.

Mm. So?

We should probably
convince that guy

we're making out so they
don't get suspicious.

What's up?

I'm going to check at
the back of the building.

Don't you worry.

But--

This book is French.

By the time we're done with you,
MI6 is gonna look like daycare.

Are you an intern?

We know about your
cousin at McGill.

It would be sad if he lost his
student visa, ship him back home.

Ach, I hate my cousin.

Your uncle paid for him to go
there. It would break his heart.

My uncle is an idiot.

I get it.

You're angry at the world,
you hate everyone.

Not everyone.

I like Will Ferrell.

If I wanted to, I could get Will
Ferrell on a plane right now

and bring him to meet you.

I don't like him
that much.

I was starting to worry.
Did you see anything?

What are you doing here?

JoJo called.
She said you needed backup.

I don't need backup.

She said she's following the mark
and I should stay with you

in case any of Shafari's
man friends show up.

She didn't tell me
anything about that.

And how did she sound?
Was she mad?

What's going on?

Nothing.

Okay, maybe we made out.

Fantastic! Was it amazing?

Yeah, it was great.

And then we did it again,
and it was even better.

And then suddenly she got
serious and just left the car.

Hm. Who kissed first?

It was sorta mutual.

Was it a "Hi. How are you?"
kiss, or

a "Come up and see
my place" kinda kiss?

A bit of both.

It was sort of a "Hi. How is
your place?" sorta kiss.

I need to find her.

If anyone comes by, I'll
make out with this coffee cup.

Hey, Sport.
Anytime you want to, you know,

get some useful information
outta him,

you just go right ahead.

Don't bother waitin'
for the green light.

It's coming.
I'm working all the angles.

Right now it's the Will Ferrell
angle, but we're talking.

Yeah. Well, speed it up.

The High Commissioner wants to observe

and I'm gonna have to stall him.

I can come in and
play bad cop if you want.

- I'm playing bad cop.
- Right.

But if you need me to
play another bad cop, I'm here.

There's an idea. Alex,
you and me go for a walk,

leave Bashir with
the French Bear.

If we come back to a confession
and a puddle, so be it.

- Bashir's close to cracking.
- Really?

All we have is the name of
a gifted comic actor.

I don't know about you,
but here on Planet Serious

I'm officially in panic mode.

Don't worry,
he'll talk.

You guys don't really call me
the French Bear, do ya?

Where's Burt?

He went off
looking for you.

It's Shafari.

That's weird, I just
saw Shafari, but--

You're back.

- That wasn't me.
- I know.

You should eat.

Didn't your mother
pack you a lunch?

Maybe.

What is she doing?

Nervous breakdown.

There goes another
young spy.

Damn it.

All right, Claude,
fish her out of there

and send her over to the
Hamilton field office

with the rest of the burnouts.

He-hey-hey, you found us.

Great to see you.

Peculiar directions, Peter.

Yeah, the place is a maze.
I still get lost.

How's she doing?

Great.

So, cupcake?

It's got sprinkles in it.

Hm, not bad.

If you like that, you should
try the egg salad. You'll die.

Not literally.
It's not poison.

I also have pickles.

Is she all right?

Oh, yeah. She's just
following a trademark

NISA interrogation technique.

Yes. The idea is to get the
prisoner on a sugar high

from the cream cheese icing
of the cupcake.

And I don't wanna even
mention what happens

with the carrot sticks.

I'm scared for that guy.

I hope she doesn't
bring out the big guns.

Too late.

Why does your mother slice them?
Don't they go brown?

She squeezes lemon on them,
lime if she's feeling zesty,

nothing if she's depressed.

- Burt, what you saw was--
- It was nothing.

If that was nothing, I'd like
to see what something is.

I'm being sarcastic.
I really don't.

The mark came by,
we had to make out.

That's what happens on stakeout.

It does when you're on stakeout.
Everyone gets kissed.

It's different with N'udu.
He had chips in his mouth.

I didn't know you were going to grab me.

- And his kiss left me cold.
- I guess we cleared that up.

- It wasn't like that with you.
- Then why did you leave?

Because. Well, I found
the kissing exceptional.

I sometimes have a hard
time showing my feelings.

You had no trouble
saying I left you cold.

Also, your kiss
surprised me.

Yeah, it was pretty
awesome, wasn't it?

All right.

I'm gonna go check the back
while you two patch things up

and figure out a proper apology
for dragging me into this.

I grew up in an orchard,
largest one back home.

Hm. We had to pick apples,
not because our family

depended on it, but
because my father was cheap.

After we finished picking, we'd
go for a swim in the river.

My mother would bring
us fresh apple cake.

Mm, sounds tasty.

Actually, it was
a little mushy.

She's a nervous woman,
tends to rush things.

- Mothers, huh?
- Hey, what you gonna do?

I hear ya.

It's gonna suck to have to
throw yours in prison.

What are you
talking about?

Taking your mother into custody,
throwing her in a cell.

She might tell us something
about your plans, then.

B- b-but she doesn't
know anything.

Guess we'll find out.
It won't be hard to find her.

Largest apple
orchard in Lebanon,

likely near El Akoura,
by the River of Ibrahim.

I figure Allied Ops can get
to her within about 8 hours.

- Claude?
- Six.

You wouldn't.

Unless you want to tell
us something about

the Liberation Front's plans
for an attack here in Canada.

There are no plans.

Tell Allied Ops where
Bashir's mother is.

Okay, okay. The targets
were port cities.

We were going to use
containers from ships--

Whoa, whoa. I did not think
that would work so well.

Do you have a pen?

The truth is, I pride myself
on being a professional,

and it's hard to take
the work seriously

when you and
a colleague are busy

polishing each
other's fillings.

I think that we should just
be professional coworkers.

Okay. But can't we be
professional coworkers by day

and professional
kissers by night?

Or did I just call
you a prostitute?

It might be all right for
the German Secret Service.

They're two blocks away,
kissing like bandits.

So you want to be friends?

You and I have a really
good working relationship.

I think we should
preserve that.

I guess.

There's the mark.

The seat's kind
of in the way.

- Also, she didn't notice us.
- Damn it.

- Good work.
- Yes.

Though most cross-examinations
I've witnessed

tend to be more violent.

I had a plastic fork in my
back pocket if it came to that.

Let me show you
the real way out.

I had no idea what
I was doing in there.

I was just starving
and I had to eat.

Then I thought of you and
how you sold that stupid

Mogadishu bullet story
to those MI6 guys.

If you look confident,
you can pull off anything.

- Mark Twain?
- Jessica Alba.

And what was stupid
about my story?

So he's a physicist, huh?

Dr. David Lowe, subcritical
neutron specialist.

Wow, they have a serious
lack of chemistry.

- He needs to slow down.
- She needs to close her eyes.

He should pull her closer.

She should bite
his lip a little,

run her hands through his hair,
then hold his scalp

firmly between her nails and
maybe draw a little blood.

Whoo. Okay, I'm gonna go
for a walk this time.

Yeah, you probably should.

Well, you two got busy
on the Shafari file.

- What?
- Why?

We didn't do anything.
Nothing happened.

I feel like
you smother me.

Thanks to your work,
we finally got enough evidence

to charge Nina Shafari
with corporate espionage.

- Oh.
- Of course.

- It was a team effort.
- Not too close a team.

This is fun.

Hey, Mom, it's me.

I wanted to thank you
for that bag lunch the other day.

It was really great.

Oh, good. I'll give you the
recipe for that cupcake.

You don't need to do that.

- MOM: Have you got a pen?
- It's okay.

It's two and a half
cups of flour, sifted.

Um, why don't you
email it to me?

Okay. But you'll have
to wait until your father

can get to the computer
room and do it for me.

He can't do stairs until
that cyst is fully drained.

I'm gonna go now.

- MOM: You're a good girl, Alex.
- Thanks, Mom.

If you're a lesbian,
we still love you.

Bye.

Subtitle by: Kiasuseven

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